When you’re layin’ in bed at night, getting ready to drift off to sleep, do you fantasize about how you would totally have stopped Waco and reasoned with David Koresh? Sure you do! Do you also fap to the idea that those dirty varmint federales shouldn’t come around because you’ve got a sheriff and that’s all a grown man needs? If so, then scenic Montana is for you!
If Montana voters approve Gary Marbut’s referendum in November 2014, any FBI agent who tries to arrest a Montanan for a federal crime could be arrested—and charged with kidnapping. Marbut’s “Sheriffs First” bill, which cleared a Montana state Senate committee last week, makes it a crime for a federal agent to take any law-enforcement steps without first getting permission from the county sheriff.
Yes, this steaming pile of dumb is back again! Montanans (doesn’t that look wrong? that looks wrong. are we SURE this is how Montana residents refer to themselves? nevermind) elected nitwits that passed this thing in both the house and senate last term, but a wussy Demoncrat governor vetoed it. But now it is back and better than ever as a referendum!! Who doesn’t love government by mob rule! Sure as hell not Montanans! (Nope, still looks odd.)
The weirdest part of the whole thing is that the bill’s sponsor totally believes that if Waco had just had a strong manly sheriff to stand up to the effbeeeye and that big lesbo Janet Reno, then the whole Koresh barbeque would not have happened:
The FBI’s deadly 1993 raid on cult leader David Koresh’s Waco, Texas, compound might never have happened if the Sheriffs First law was in place, Marbut argues. The sheriff “could have said, ‘Look, I will call Koresh on the phone and he’ll meet at my office and you can ask him whatever questions you want. You don’t have to incinerate 100-and-some people.'”
Yes, because crazed religious apocalyptic nutjobs totally always listen to sheriffs, because sheriffs are manly and rural and strong. No question there.
Side benefit of this awesome referendum? MORE UNLICENSED GUN MAKING!
The ATF might say that “we have probable cause to believe that we have this person in your county who’s making firearms without a license,” Marbut explains. “And the sheriff might say, ‘Well, gosh, under the Montana Firearms Freedom Act, that’s protected activity in Montana, so you don’t have my permission for this bust.'”
Well, gosh! What a lovely idea! If there’s one thing America needs more of right now, it is gun nuts that don’t just carry guns, they make them! Yr Wonkette will be relocating to the wide open spaces of Montana and opening our ramshackle gun-making business shortly. Join us, won’t you?