Columnist and someone who proudly never gives rimjobs on the first date Larry Elder has a new-ish book to sell to his audience of eager white people looking for a nice facade of acceptability to excuse spewing warmed-over Jesse Helms bullshit in public. Elder is especially conscious of the fact that the people who pay him still spend each night masturbating to readings of the Moynihan Report. As a result, Elder (who has to live with the fact that radio and TV producers found both Joe Scarborough and Mark Levin to be less awful than him) focuses much of this soon to be Stormfront gift-bag item on the issue of what he believes to be “the No. 1 social problem in America”: men growing up without fathers. In 2013. When we have a Black President who was raised by a single mother. Oh there will be derp.
But before you get all uppity and think that Elder is just another in a long line of black conservatives hoping to a fulfilling a niche in the Conservative movement for fame whores that are shamelessly willing to bow to white supremacy, Elder has done his goddamn research on this subject! Yes, unlike that bloated anal cyst of a human being Newt Gingrich, Elder set up his Google news alerts a along time ago and compiled completely unimpeachable evidence to support his bland assertion that “fathers matter.” In fact he has so much to share on this brilliant and completely original thought that Larry decided to share it with the world in his two most recent articles for Townhall and WND.
Did you know for example that having a father is a matter of public health? In fact it might be the only thing keeping our nation’s children (especially the black ones) from killing us all. As Larry explains:
When I pressed the point of murdering ex-cop Christopher Dorner’s father, one local news source told me his father apparently died when Dorner was small. He was reportedly raised, along with his sister, by a single mom. Little else is known.
In the documentary “Resurrection,” rapper Tupac Shakur, who was raised without a father, said: “I hate saying this cuz white people love hearing black people talking about this. I know for a fact that had I had a father, I’d have some discipline. I’d have more confidence.”
He said he started running with gangs because he wanted to belong, wanted structure and wanted protection — none of which he found in his fatherless home. “Your mother cannot calm you down the way a man can,” he said. “Your mother can’t reassure you the way a man can. My mother couldn’t show me where my manhood was. You need a man to teach you how to be a man.”
QED, HATERS. That’s right, Tupac and Christopher Dorner did not have a strong male figure in their lives so that’s why they continually failed in life before eventually being killed. THE END. That one single underlying similarity in their loves completely explains why Tupac channeled his life long interest in theatre arts into becoming arguably the most prolific rap artist of his time while dealing with a hefty criminal record, and the other person was a college graduate, soldier, and public servant before suddenly becoming a murderer. The power of having a father in your life is so strong that literally no other factor that could have possible shaped the arc of their lives — except for one other tiny detail that Elder then goes into:
Beverly Hills surgeon explains at home fix for crepey skin around the arms, legs, and stomach.
After Adam Lanza massacred 26 people and his mother in Newtown, Conn., NBC News reported: “A source close to the family said that in 2001, (father Peter) separated from Adam’s mother, Nancy, but he still saw Adam every week…..
….Newsweek quoted a [Jarred Lee] Loughner neighbor who described the father as “very aggressive, very angry all the time about petty things — like if the trash is out because the trash guys didn’t pick it up, he yells at us for it.”
After Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold killed 13 at Columbine High, one did not have to search long to read about their fathers. One such piece began: “The father of one of the boys was asked some years ago to jot down his life’s goals in the memory book for his 20th high school reunion. His answer was succinct, straightforward and, it seemed, not unrealistically ambitious: ‘Raise two good sons.’
“[Dylan Klebold’s father] prided himself on being his son’s soul mate. They had just spent five days visiting the Arizona campus where the teenager planned to enroll in the fall, and recently discussed their shared opposition to a bill in the state legislature that would have made it easier to carry concealed weapons.”
…..we learned from the Daily Mail all “about the glittering career of James Holmes’ father, Robert, who has degrees from Stanford, UCLA and Berkeley and currently works as a senior scientist at FICO in San Diego.” The article’s headline was, “Did Colorado maniac snap after failing to meet expectations of brilliant academic father?”
So is Elder’s actual thesis that having a dad acts as a vaccine preventing black men from becoming spree killers but that it doesn’t work for aspiring white psychopaths? No! Actually Elder is just pissed that the media — those bastards — didn’t immediately hyperfocus on the same tangential issue that thought was important:
Not one word about the father. We soon learn the mother’s name and whereabouts. But the media are apparently incurious about Dorner’s father. Why? Is it that the media expect a certain level of appropriate behavior from whites — that when a white person commits a heinous act, we must necessarily explore what kind of relationship he had with his father?
Or the media could have just been searching for answers inside Dorner’s own long and detailed manifesto for why he was murdering people instead of making up random shit to satisfy the pre-established socio-political views of hacks like Elder. You know, journalism.
But when it comes to black miscreants and their fathers … crickets. Why? To ask raises uncomfortable questions about the perverse incentives of the welfare state, which hurt the very formation of stable, intact families — the ones more likely to produce stable, non-paranoid children.
So goddamned liberal food stamps just drive black dads away from their children, leaving these metaphorical ticking time bombs waiting to kill us all? This is a terrifying prospect, especially when we one of those same (former) children now has ACCESS TO NUCLEAR BOMBS!
But Elder doesn’t worry just yet about ‘Bammerz going postal on us. In fact Elder graciously accepts Obama as “one of the good ones” in terms of the President’s willingness to talk about the subject of fatherlessness:
Obama, in Chicago, finally talked about the lack of fathers….
Yeah not like he wrote an entire BOOK-LENGTH first person narrative about the problem of absentee fathers or made a huge speech on the subject in recent memory.
…..and the impact this has on crime rather than complain about the number of rounds in a magazine:
“For a lot of young boys and young men in particular, they don’t see an example of fathers or grandfathers, uncles, who are in a position to support families and be held up in respect. And so that means that this is not just a gun issue; it’s also an issue of the kinds of communities that we’re building. When a child opens fire on another child, there is a hole in that child’s heart that government can’t fill. Only community and parents and teachers and clergy can fill that hole.”
He offers no alternative.
Except for that part about the “community, parents, teachers and clergy” filling childrens’ holes and stuff.
Why would he? That would require a wholesale rethinking of the welfare state and of the perverse incentives that work against the interests of the very people the left claims to care about.
Those perverse incentives strike again! Luckily for us Elder has a not at all imaginary source deep undercover within this secret welfare system creating the super-violent race of unstoppable hooligan black children:
A counselor recently wrote me. She asked not to be identified, fearing a backlash because of her condemnation of the bad choices women make in male partners. She argued that if women demanded more of themselves, men would get the message – and they would be forced to behave more responsibly. To do otherwise, she says, is to behave selfishly – for responsible parenting requires selflessness:
“No one is putting a gun to women’s heads and making them have intercourse with unworthy men prior to marriage. It is done willingly, leads to a life from hell and harms everyone involved, even the bum who has no motivation to shape up since he is afforded all the reward a good, respectable, hardworking husband would get without having to be a good, respectable, hardworking husband.
So the real problem also includes slatternly lazy black women just refusing to give their precious rape babies the stern parenting that they need. Good thing that this obviously qualified and compassionate counselor is on the case.
Elder also predictably celebrates how welfare reform has allowed the state to kick half of otherwise eligible people off of its rolls. He of course forgets to mention that ending the cycle of dependency through Bill Clinton’s welfare reform is now allowing a rainbow coalition of children to experience the joys of hunger pangs partly due to the the government wasting money on worthless “marriage workshops.” You see, unlike the imaginary welfare system of Elder’s fever dreams where government workers handing out goody bags of malt liquor and cash, our government did (until very recently) engage in a complete wet fart of a program that gave away hundreds of millions dollars in federal tax money to frauds and grifters in a dumbass effort to create the same dads that Elder has sanctified.
As wrong as he is, one has to remember that Larry Elder doesn’t actually give a single solitary fuck about the children regardless of their race or class. He cares about maintaining his continually tenuous position within the black conservative pundit class lest Mia Love or someone is able to troll her way into pleasing the racist morons who actually believe the ridiculously stupid shit that he peddles. Rising levels of poverty within the national black community or endemic violence in hyper-segregated Chicago just means that Elder can keep his time slot on KABC and remain the sole black friend of Joseph Farah by publishing drivel like this. Through engaging in equal opportunity rightwing grifting, Elder has provided the most definitive sign that the civil rights movement has succeeded in the 21st century.