let them eat minimum wage

John Boehner To Poors: We Want To Pay You Less To Help You

boehnersobsWell, that was fast! John Boehner has taken a close look at President Obama’s minimum wage proposal and after less than 24 hours of careful deliberation, has decided that Poors are doing just fine, thanks, and also, we must pay Poors very little and this is the best way to help them.

“When you raise the price of employment, guess what happens? You get less of it,” the Ohio Republican told reporters Wednesday morning. “At a time when the American people are still asking the question ‘Where are the jobs?’, why would we want to make it harder for small employers to hire people?”

Boehner pointed to his 11 siblings who are “on every rung of the economic ladder,” saying he understands the issue “as much as anybody in this town.”

John Boehner is a multi-millionaire so if some of his siblings actually are the bottom of the economic ladder (which we find hard to believe) he is an asshole for not giving them a hand (which do not find hard to believe, now that we think about it).

Also, minimum wage hikes do not seem to cause job losses according to a pretty recent study.

Anyway, by this logic, small businesses might hire more people if minimum wage was lowered to say $5 an hour, so maybe we should think about that as a way to stimulate job growth, eh Boehner?

“A lot of people who are being paid the minimum wage are being paid that because they come to the workforce with no skills, and this makes it harder for them to acquire the skills they need in order to climb that ladder successfully,” he said.

The Republican leadership began a post-State of the Union news conference by once again calling on the White House and Senate Democrats to put forward a plan to avert the automatic spending cuts set to take effect March 1.

We can’t quite figure out how this is supposed to work. A low- or no-skilled worker is being paid minimum wage because s/he is low or no skilled. And gosh darnit, this person would LOVE to get more skills but can’t, due to the minimum wage being $9. Is this what Boehner is saying? We can’t tell but if this is what he is saying, it makes even less sense than most of the other stuff that comes out of his mouth regularly. And while we’re sure that a few genuinely small businesses would be impacted by a minimum wage hike, these are the companies with the most minimum wage workers (courtesy Business Insider) and we think they can handle the extra costs.

companies with minimum wage workers

[Chicago Tribune]

About the author

Kris E. Benson writes about politics for Wonkette and is pursuing a doctorate in philosophy. This will come in handy for when they finally open that philosophy factory in the next town over. @Kris_E_Benson

View all articles by Kris E. Benson
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