Do you kiss YOUR mom with that mouth?We know you Wonkers are a persnickety lot, and man are you good at hate! But let’s take a moment to give a Malbec-soaked shout-out to some people we hate while remembering their common humanity.

Wait! Where’d you go???

First up, Mittens Romney and his wife, the Lady Egg, became grandparents again for the 20th time. Mazel tov, Mittens and Egg, and may all your grandchildren move to kibbutzes!

Second up, notably sane and not all bigoted Victoria Jackson shares a video of her lover — CLICK! — and though we could only watch one and a half minutes of it, her husband, Paul the Cop, is cute! And nervous! And EVERYONE deserves love, except for that fucking Baltimore Raven — you know the one — who jumped on Jeff Rich Gannon* feet-first after he was already down and ruined the Raiders FOR EVER.

No, but really, everyone DOES deserve love (except for that Raven, who should die old and alone), and … oh fuck, yay we guess. Moar wine. Anyway, fucking BE NICE. (If you can.) Because we at Wonket are the sweetest, gentlest, most giving and generous people in the whole wide world. Everyone knows that.

*Fucking Malbec. What the hell is Jeff Gannon up to these days, anyway? Anybody wanna drop a dime?


Donate with CCDonate with CC
Previous articleYour Wonkette Book Club Will Now Dominate Your Media Diet With This Book About Covering The Arab Spring With A Smartphone
Next articleDig Your Ground: Shovel-Toting Student Freaks Out Idaho Middle School, Resulting In Lockdown