Your Valentine's Cry-Time: John Boehner Hates His Wife

See that lady? The one John Boehner is ignoring while being ignored by Michelle Obama? That is no lady, that is John Boehner's wife! Sadly, John Boehner hates her. And Luke Russert, of all fucking people, got the scoop!

In between asking other good questions (???!!!!) about the Violence Against Women Act and the non-filibuster-filibuster of Chuck Hagel, le petit prince asked your boyfriend what he had gotten the Ol' Ball and Chain, and John Boehner, who is apparently mean when he is drunk, answered this:

Not cool, Lyndon Boehns Johnson! We don't care if your lady-wife is a nag or a shrew or is banging Lynne Cheney. You've got to hold her and squeeze her and something something something leave her. Try a little tenderness.

[ Twitter ]