Assume Wingnuts Furious Over SNL’s Cut Chuck Hagel Sketch

  sucker's bet

We do not know if the wingnuts are furious about the Chuck Hagel Sadtime Clown Face Hearings Hour, and how SNL cut it before air, probably because it was not funny. (We have just watched it; it was not funny.) We do not know if the wingnuts are furious, because Doktor Zoom is the only person who came to work today, and he is “easily distractible,” so it is pretty much up to just us to run our stupid blog today, and we do not feel like looking at wingnut blogs because we fell yesterday while we were running with our dog (not “out for a run,” because come on, just running like half a block or so, for funsies) and we did not even trip or anything, just all of a sudden our legs did not work anymore, just like when Brenda from Six Feet Under fucked those sailors so hard she got a spinal tumor in Muriel’s Wedding? (YOU’RE TERRIBLE, MURIEL!) And we hurt our wrist and our palms (and our knees), just like Jesus?

You can assume though that the wingnuts are furious about SNL’s unfunny and unaired sketch about which Republican senator loves Israel the mostest, because it was not true to life. Because we had those hearings on for like 184 hours, and no senators actually made any words with their mouths. They just barked. Just barking senators for 184 hours, barking.

Also, Jason Sudeikis can’t make his mouth look like a sad clown, so it is not a very good Chuck Hagel.

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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

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Hola wonkerados.

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