Our Cup Runneth Over: Worst Psychiatrist Ever and Worst Mustache Ever May Both Run For Senate
Ohmygod psychiatrist Keith Ablow. We LOVE this guy. He does for psychiatry what Orly Taitz does for the law. Also, too, we get to write about him all the time. Quick overview if you're not feeling all clicky-clicky: Obama was abandoned as a child and will always have a vacant gaping hole because of it and that gaping hole makes him not love guns, boys are not nearly manly enough and ladiez are always trying to emasculate them, Joe Biden probably has dementia, etc. etc. (Do not fucking libel Old Handsome Joe, Keith Ablow. We will cut you. CUT. YOU.). What is Fox psychiatrist Keith Ablow blathering on about now? Oh, just how he'd be generous enough to run for Senate if the GOP asks him really really nice-like:
Psychiatrist Keith Ablow, a Fox News contributor, on Monday said he would run for the Senate seat being vacated by John Kerry (D-MA) if he didn’t have to a face a primary challenger...
“The Party can’t afford to spend precious resources on a divisive primary,” Ablow added. “If all the leaders of the Party united around me -– to preclude a primary, I would run. Such unity looks improbable at this time.”
GOP, why will you not unite around this fine man? He's sure to be as successful a candidate for Massachusetts as Christine O'Donnell was for Delaware. (Remember her? We LOVED her). Just think: he could provide free psychiatric services for his colleagues, as he appears to not need to, you know, actually talk to someone to diagnose them. Seriously, we would support this guy as a candidate SO HARD because we need posts right now and otherwise that Massachusetts race will be a snore-fest.
We're pretty damn hopeful this happens too:
Ablow isn’t the only Fox News personality who is mulling a Senate run. Geraldo Rivera said last week he was considering running for the U.S. Senate as a Republican in New Jersey.
God, we know we've never, ever done anything good enough to make either of these things happen, but dear god please please please make both these things happen.
[ Raw Story ]
Keith Ablow is a psychiatrist the way Paul Broun is a doctor. And you have to be incredibly stupid to take either one of them seriously.
I wonder if Obama's staff gives him a laugh-of-the-day snippet of Fucks Gnus, along with his morning briefing of what's going on in the real world.
King's more obnoxiously crazy than Chuck Grassley, but Grassley's fucking nuts too and they keep sending him back. Add in the off-year factor, and a state that's used to voting for a crazy guy might just keep on doing it. Also, BTW, according to the 2010 census, even if you make the dubious assumption that all of the Hispanics in Iowa are white, the state's over 85% white non-Hispanic. Not quite Vermont territory, but it's whiter than Wisconsin. Considering the demographics of farm workers, there's a good chance that King's district is actually one of the least white in the state.
And don't forget, Broun is in the race to replace Saxby "the guy who lost multiple limbs in 'Nam fighting for the USA is really Osama bin Laden" Chambliss. In other words, the shit that got Joe Walsh bounced out of the House in Illinois was in Georgia rewarded with a promotion to the Senate. It looks very much as if the Democrats will not be able to find a top-tier candidate. The Republican nominee is almost guaranteed victory, even if it's someone as crazy stupid as Broun. The only upside to a Broun nomination would be that it'd make it a race, so the national GOP would have to spend time and money defending a seat that should be a cakewalk for them. The downside is, of course, Senator Broun. Fuck me.