For those of you who watch It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia, you will know what we mean when we say that conservatives are trying to Sweet Dee Michelle Obama. For those of you who don’t, Sweet Dee is the only female member of the group, and the guys pretty much spend the entire time telling her she’s an awful, ugly, hideous beastmonster of a human being, because Dennis is her sexual-predator brother, Mac is probably in deep denial about being gay and compensates for it by hating women, and Charlie does what other people say because he’s a human version of the three-eyed fish from The Simpsons.
Incidentally, this is what Sweet Dee looks like, and you would do her in a heartbeat.
Anyway, conservatives have decided that Michelle Obama has a big ol’ fat ass, and just won’t stop saying it.
“Fat butt Michelle Obama,” said Bob Grisham, a high school football coach who was surreptitiously recorded by one of his students. “Look at her. She looks like she weighs 185 or 190. She’s overweight.”
Grisham, who was suspended Monday, is neither the first nor the most high-profile person to feel moved to comment on the first lady’s physique. Conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh has repeatedly called her Michelle “My Butt” Obama. And Rep. F. James Sensenbrenner, the Wisconsin Republican, issued an apology after he was caught commenting on her “large posterior.” (Grisham has also said he misspoke.)
Now, the weird thing about this is that Michelle Obama is the most in-shape First Lady we’ve had since Sarah Childress Polk, who was a notorious regular at 19th-century Curves classes. Why, then, is there so much focus on her body?
Well, Michelle Obama does believe that people should eat healthy foods, which, for some reason, means that she should also look like notorious beacon of fine-ass bootiness Kate Moss. But there are those conservatives who are willing to give Michelle Obama a pass, like notorious internet narcissist Ann Althouse:
Dr. Gundry reveals the top 3 common foods that you would have never guessed were the cause of your fatigue.
I disagree with that sort of critique, by the way. She’s made the subject obesity and how it affects health, not mere fatness and how it affects beauty. For her issue, it’s fine that she doesn’t come across as thin.
Althouse also believes it is okay that basketball players don’t come across as tall and Oprah doesn’t come across as your insanely rich and a little loopy best friend.
So, why is there all this focus on Michelle Obama’s ass? The Washington Post theorizes (by which Yr Wonket means is completely correct) that this all comes down to stereotypes about black women’s bodies. We mean, Negresses all have those big thick ghetto booties, right? Conservatives have seen brief snippets of rap videos on the news in the ’90s, so they’re pretty sure they know what all black ladies look like without pants on.
The most pernicious part of this is that it all fits into a semi-coherent delusion about angry black people getting power and trying to control what you eat while using your money to buy Jordans and eat Popeyes in the White (Black) House. It’s not just that Michelle Obama is an ugly, fat black woman, it’s that she’s an angry, ugly, fat black woman who’s stealing your money for stereotypically black things.
Why didn’t Barack make America post-racial by marrying Gwyneth Paltrow?