What is hip and happening, FishbowlDC? Any good “DC gossip” you might want to impart? Could you do that without libeling anyone? OK good, just checking! Today, Fishbowl has TWO major scoops on its hands. One is an expose, by guy-getting-sued-for-libel Peter Ogburn, and it is an expose of Jonathan Martin from Politico who is obviously a fucking idiot because he uses the numeral “4” in place of “four,” on Twitter, because if he didn’t his tweets wouldn’t fit. The other is by Eddie Scarry, and it is about Joe Scarborough’s red sweater. Let us read, with wonder and awe, FishbowlDC’s journalism!
First up! Is Jonathan Martin a fucking idiot or what???
We’ve documented JMart’s ongoing struggle with Twitter before, but it’s worse than ever.
For example, JMart sent this tweet on Tuesday morning: “LaCivita cites dislike 4 “mandates” RT @LVozzella: Cuccinelli backed failed bid to ease ultrasound-before-abortion law goo.gl/yK5Ng.” We particularly enjoy the substitution of numerals for words. It’s a trademark for young high-school students JMart. Another calling card is to use slang and shorthand when he doesn’t even need to. Just write the word, “for.”
Well, never say we are not journalists of the first water our own selves! Because we did an experiment. We took that Tweet, and we put it in our Twitter box, the one where it is all like “what is happening groovy chick,” or maybe that is Facebook, and then we took out his “4” and replaced it with the word “for.” And guess what! IT DID NOT FIT!
FISHBOWL MUST ACQUIT!
But that is not Fishbowl’s only scoop today. Imagine our delight when we realized we had used our carpal tunnelly fingers to click on a story ENTIRELY ABOUT JOE SCARBOROUGH’S RED SWEATER. Here, in its entirety, is the masterpiece “Scarborough Proud of Bright Sweater Collection.”
Just kidding, we would not do that to you. And really, you shouldn’t even click yourself. Just know it was about Joe Scarborough, who sometimes wears a red sweater, and something about gay Werther’s candies.
So maybe they did libel someone, but fuck if we are going to go read it again.
God bless you, FishbowlDC.