If there’s one place that Jewish people are overrepresented vis a vis their share of the population, it is in
banking Hollywood the Bilderberg Group magazines and the Internet. You cannot swing a dead cat without hitting a woman named, like, “Rebecca Schoenkopf” or “Sarah Steinberg” or “Rachel Schoenkopf Steinberg” or whatnot. But we have bad news, Jews! Word comes this morning that The New Republic is purging all its Jews! Why? Because the Washington Free Beacon says so! Let us examine the first and then the second-to-last paragraphs of the Free Beacon’s journalism, and see what we might find!
The New Republic has quietly dropped at least five prominent Jewish writers from its masthead in a move that may signal the publication’s continued drift away from a staunchly pro-Israel standpoint. [Snip!]
Seven additional writers have been dropped from the newly redesigned masthead.
Huh. Well. Er? Good story, Washington Free Beacon! Definitely bringing needed attention to … something!
By all means, do go over to New York Mag and read their explanation, which is far superior to whatever nonsense we will throw together on this important topic. We’ll wait!
You came back! Hooray! Hmmm, what can we give you? How about what TNR owner, publisher and editrix Chris Hughes obviously thinks about “The Jews”?
He probably thinks
- Newtown was a put-up job by the government (and Hollywood? Because ‘Jews’) to disarm the country. We know this because in The Dark Knight Rises, a scene shows someone looking at a map. It says “Aurora” and “Sandy Hook.”
- Did you know a Jew owned the World Trade Center? And he probably had terrorism insurance.
- Why didn’t the Jews stay to help rebuild Europe after WWII?
- If the Jews hadn’t stolen the land of a peaceful people there would be no terrorism today. Why aren’t the Jews paying for the buildings that are knocked down by the terrorism caused by Israel?
Oh right no, that was our neighbor.
OK, well let’s look at TNR’s “masthead” and examine how bereft it is, Of Jews! (We are just going to bold names that sound Jewish, because that is the kind of journalism this Free Beacon article deserves.) UPDATE! We have decided to go through and bold some more names, if people in our comments section told us they were Jews. HOT DAMN that is so many Jews. (And one dude we thought might be a Jew is a Mormon.)
Publisher and Editor-in-Chief Chris Hughes
Editor Franklin Foer
Literary Editor Leon Wieseltier
Creative Director Dirk Barnett
Executive Editors Rachel Morris, Greg Veis Editorial Director Michael Schaffer
Story Editors Cameron Abadi, Ben Crair, Ryan Kearney, Chloe Schama
Assistant Managing Editor Amanda Silverman
Editor-At-Large Michael Kinsley
Senior Editors Paul Berman, Isaac Chotiner, Jonathan Cohn, Julia Ioffe, John B. Judis, Adam Kirsch, Alec MacGillis, Timothy Noah, Noam Scheiber
National Correspondent Walter Kirn
Legal Affairs Jeffrey Rosen
Science Editor Judith Shulevitz
Social Media Editor Hillary Kelly
Staff Writers Laura Bennett, Nate Cohn, Lydia DePillis, Eliza Gray, Noreen Malone, Molly Redden, Marc Tracy
Films David Thomson, Stanley Kauffmann
Art Jed Perl
Music David Hajdu
Poetry Henri Cole
Dance Jennifer Homans
Architecture Sarah Williams Goldhagen
Contributing Editors David A. Bell, Christopher Benfey, Peter Bergen, Jonathan Chait, William Deresiewicz, Justin Driver, Ruth Franklin, William Galston, Nathan Glazer, Jack Goldsmith, Anthony Grafton, David Grann, David Greenberg, Yossi Klein Halevi, Robert Kagan, Enrique Krauze, Damon Linker, Ryan Lizza, John McWhorter, Abbas Milani, Evgeny Morozov, Sherwin B. Nuland, Steven Pinker, David Rieff, Sacha Z. Scoblic, Ronald Steel, Cass R. Sunstein, Alan Taylor, Helen Vendler, Michael Walzer, Sean Wilentz
Fuck that’s a lot of (people who sound like they might be) Jews. (There are also plenty of you we cannot decide. Like Driver? Bergen? Franklin? Only their
moyle mohel, or probably Google, knows for sure.) That is like at least a quorum, and possibly an entire Jew coven. If we missed you, and you would like us to add you to our List of Media Jews, please write in to rebecca at wonkette dot com, subject line “LIST OF MEDIA JEWS THAT WE WILL NOT GIVE TO RICHARD NIXON NO MATTER WHAT.” Or if we have suspected you of being a Jew and you are not a Jew, please write in to rebecca at wonkette dot com, subject line “NOT A JEW.”
Congratulations to the Washington Free Beacon, for something we’re sure.