Now Orly Taitz Is Gonna Arrest The President, Uh Huh

Welp, we haven't written anything about Orly Taitz in...(checks archives) A WHOLE FUCKING WEEK! Readers, what have you been doing? Are you bereft? Are you weeping? Are you yearning, deeply, for new Orly Taitz news? Of course you are! Wonkers, it's cool, she's just gonna arrest the president. 

 Taitz posted on her website Wednesday night that she has three supporters in Connecticut who are willing to sign a petition claiming that Obama has violated election law in the state. Under Sec. 9-368 of the state's election code , if "three electors" in a town sign complaints to a judge claiming violations of election law then an arrest warrant can be issued.

Yr Wonkette was going to run straight over to Connecticut's election code and deploy some lawyerin' to see how this works and if the world's most famous dentist/lawyer/realtor is right.  Just in time, we remembered that this was a theory from Orly Taitz and therefore we skipped it.

We did glean, though, that a key part of this plan requires that at least three residents of the same town need to share Orly's mad fantasies about the Kenyan usurper. Does she have three people in the same town? Mebbe. 

Taitz did not specify if the three volunteers all reside in the same town. Earlier she had posted that she had a volunteer in Stafford Spring, Conn. willing to sign her petition. She then then asked if several of her supporters could move to the small town on the Connecticut-Massachusetts border in order to register to vote and help her get Obama arrested. One supporter commented that they would if someone else paid for the move.

Time for an indiegogo campaign! Let's unite these birthers in Connecticut so they can FINALLY prove Obama stole a social security number because he was born in Kenya blah blah blah. We do not wish Orly Taitz on the election officials and courts of Connecticut, but it would be amusing to engineer a birther meetup.

Speaking of birther meetups, apparently  there is unrest and incivility in birther-land! It is not the land of milk and honey, as promised. Yes, Orly's been all fightsies with some birthers she used to love for going on close to four years now :

...Philadelphia lawyer Phil Berg , anti-Obama activist and judicial candidate has filed suit against Orly Taitz on behalf of individuals who have come under attack recently by  California lawyer and anti-Obama conspiracy theories promoter Orly Taitz.

Orly Taitz frequently makes published assertions that two people who share the same name are the same person (like Barry Soetoro and Soetoro Moestabjab), and in this case Lisa Liberi, Phil Berg’s, associate may be the victim of just such a false association with a New Mexico felon having a similar name.

Also, former webmaster of Orly Taitz’s blog, Lisa Ostella, the recipient of all sorts of accusations related to the handling of former Orly blogs and the funneling of PayPal donations, is suing.

Apparently this thing has dragged on for YEARS. We tried to sort out who was who, but then got bored and just googled it until we found that helpful little synopsis above. Given that we make it our mission to bring you the freshest news ever, why are we babbling about old news? Because this bit of awesome just happened:

U.S. District Court Judge Andrew J. Guilford is ordering Taitz "to show cause in writing why she should not be sanctioned for lying to this court" by Feb. 4, to do so within 10 pages and to supplement any claims with documents.

At issue is whether Taitz purposefully misled Guilford last October after he ordered all the parties to the lawsuit to immediately inform him of all "pending ethical, disciplinary, or related matters."

Taitz claimed her only problem related to a minor discovery sanction.

But Guilford--an unapologetic stickler on ethics as corrupt Orange County Sheriff Mike Carona learned on his way to prison--discovered evidence that "the sanction involved far more than discovery," according to the order.

So Taitz had past sanctions and then lied in her current case about NOT having sanctions, and now likely is on the hook for...sanctions. We will be waiting impatiently for February 4 to roll around to see what hodgepodge filing she comes up with when she is limited to 10 pages. We're hoping for diagrams. You can really convey a ton of whackjob conspiracy theories in diagrams. Godspeed, Orly Taitz. Never surrender.

[ HuffPo / OC Weekly ]