Last week, we listened with interest as Michele Bachmann BFF and teen-girl-cry-maker Bradlee Dean explained that all these shootings we keep having are because of overmedication of children. We were sympathetic to the underlying statement, but somewhat taken aback by his proposed solution: to beat the murder and mental illness out of our children, like God and the Bible intended.

Well, luckily, Rep. James Lankford of Oklahoma City has squared the circle. Not only are all these shootings happening because of overmedicating our children, but we are overmedicating our children because single welfare moms want to commit Social Security fraud. So they are doping up their children so they can get bigger checks. Our only question is how on earth did it take five whole weeks after the Newtown massacre for the GOP to blame women on welfare? You’re slipping, Republicans!

Lady: I guarantee the problem is the psychotropic drugs these kids are on.
James Lankford (paraphrased): Don’t forget violent video games and movies! Something something blah blah blah did you know welfare moms are doping up their kids so they can get disability for them and get a whole new check? This is a thing that single welfare moms do, give healthy kids drugs to make them crazy for money, because evil and welfare and moms and womyn and moms and womyn and welfare. Everyone knows that. And it is wrong.

James Lankford doesn’t look like a stupid man. So we will have to assume that he is just evil. Is there a rod of correction for that?


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