the internet is a series of boobs

There Are People In This World Who Simply Do Not Care For Michelle Obama

Ew gross yuck and stuffInternet commenters: they are the suck! (Present company … excepted? Hmmm.) You cannot read any story about any person whose name ends with ‘z’ (‘SPANICS) without getting an eyeful of the most insanely racist shit, the kind that makes your stomach sink into your liver, as if your liver was not having enough problems without a stomach on it! But there is a special alternate universe of Internet comment when it comes to our adored First Lady, Her Hotness Michelle, who is probably the only person loved more in these parts than Old Handsome Joe Biden, God Love Him, and Michelle’s Husband, whatshisname, “The One.”

You may remember yesterday, when we were surprised to see Michelle roll her eyes at John Boehner like a 14-year-old girl. That’s because, for the past four years, Michelle Obama has been unfailingly warm and gracious a million hours a week to whatever idiot wanted a go at her. But apparently even Mrs. Obama can’t stomach Ol’ Ginblossom smackin’ her on the arm in the middle of his slurry reminiscences or (probably) ribald jokes. As seen in this long-form version from which the popular (but best ever or not best ever?) gif was made, after Boehner cracks her on the bicep, she moves her left arm forward and rests her elbow on the table, physically blocking him off from her personal space. Nor is she feeling particularly chatty with her tablemate, but is icing him out and eating her 3,000-calorie meal instead, because that for some reason is a thing wingnuts care about.

Well we don’t let idiots into our comments here (?), but RealClearPolitics does. And considering the comments that remained, we could only wonder what was said in ever other “comment removed.” We are gonna go with either hilarious “monkey” jokes or straight up Drudge-style N*GGER N*GGER N*GGER N*GGER. They gave up after 74 comments and shut the whole thing down.

Here. Have some.

Wasn’t that fun? Oh, right, no! It was not!

So let us do some soul-searching! Are we ever as disgusting as this? In fact, sometimes we are! (Y’all have got to can it with the “ping-pong ball” “jokes” about Michelle Malkin. Forget that it is Michelle Malkin we are talking about, and imagine instead any other Asian woman in the world wandering into the comments and seeing that. Don’t you want Asian women to wander into the comments … and stay???) And you already know that Mann Coulter tranny jokes make our genderqueer brethren and sistren Sad.

You do want your recipe-hub-lit-war-mommyblog to be the greatest of all the recipe-hub-lit-war-mommyblogs, don’t you?

So save it for K-Lo and how she loves to fuck food. Because we at Wonket are all class.


About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf
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