Does anybody here think newly resworn President Barack Hussein Obama is giving it to his beautiful wife like a husband should? (Or like our generous Wonkers would, so selflessly?) Does anybody here think newly resworn President Barack Hussein Obama is, say, puttin’ it to his wife like Old Handsome Joe Biden puts it to Dr. Jill? Exhibit A:

Above is Dr. Jill Biden giving Joe “the eyes.” As we learned from Caity Weaver of Gawker, discussing the eyefucking ol’ Barack got from America’s new mom, the Thai prime minister, “the eyes” are a way of “subtly” telling someone, “‘I want to fuck you, bareback, maybe weird stuff,’ though she probably also said that un-subtly, with words.”

Exhibit B:

Exhibit C: We were once absolutely convinced that Barack Obama and Michelle Obama had broken a bed on the campaign trail in 2008. After about five hours of Googling, we discovered that was the guy from LA Law on The West Wing.

Exhibit D:

“You’re the love of my life and the life of my love.” Now look at Michelle. Is she trying not to cry? Yes. FROM ANGER, because the best she ever gets from Barack is a flat joke about putting the kids to bed, it is a school night, or “sorry it is our anniversary haha.” Fuck, Mitt Romney was warmer about the Obamas’ anniversary than Barack was.

Exhibit We Forget:

Here is Michelle trying to give Barack “the eyes,” but really only half-succeeding in the art of political wife staring. She is probably doing this to piss off the feminists, apparently.

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