Humble Maryland Bureaucrat Has Catheter, Will Make You Tend To It

  but his back hurts real bad gosh

Pictured: Anne Arundel County legislative directorIf even half the accusations flying in court are true, Anne Arundel County Executive John Leopold has a great security detail. These folks may have helped him destroy election opponents’ signs, sure, but what “security detail” doesn’t do that? WaPo says, though, that it gets far saucier:

One of Maryland’s top politicians used his security detail to set up weekly sexual encounters with a subordinate in Annapolis parking lots, to maintain dossiers on political opponents and to make sure his two lovers never ran into each other, according to an indictment released Friday.

And all these security folks wanted was taxpayer money! What, is that not ok?

The whole case got started almost four years ago, when somebody called 911 because of “naked people” in a car in an Annapolis mall parking lot, and cops found Leopold there and rather mysteriously didn’t write up any reports about any other details. Other women, thankfully, filled in the details:

That incident prompted a number of county employees to come forward with allegations of sexual harassment by Leopold.

Which, of course, led to his resignation.

he remained in office and won reelection in 2010.

Damn. This stuff always seems to work out exactly the same as all the other times.

Anyway, the indictment says he kept sexing his Lady On The Side, which got complicated when he was hospitalized for back surgery in 2010: He got county police to work 170 hours of overtime to keep his live-in girlfriend from meeting his parking-lot girlfriend in the hospital. Yup. His wiener got a taxpayer bailout.

And speaking of his wiener, it is the source of the latest chapter of the court drama!

When Patricia Medlin saw John Leopold standing in her doorway, she knew what that meant: time to empty her boss’s urine bag.

At the misconduct trial of Anne Arundel County Executive John Leopold on Friday, his former scheduler Patricia Medlin, 63, described her thrice-daily chore of draining Leopold’s catheter for nearly a year.

Emptying the urine bag was one of many personal tasks that Leopold, 69, allegedly had Medlin and members of his security detail perform throughout 2010. The Republican leader of Maryland’s fourth-largest county faces four counts of misconduct and one count of misappropriating funds, which carries a sentence of up to five years.

What’s the good-guy thing to do here? Plead out? Try to explain it all away as a misunderstanding?

[D]efense attorney Bruce Marcus described Leopold as a devoted public servant who was hobbled by severe back pain and needed extra help. He said the allegations are based on a “highly subjective view of conduct.”

Indeed. You don’t think government officials should use their elevated station to force subordinates to empty their bags of pee? HOW SUBJECTIVE OF YOU.

“If in fact it was a crime, it was absolutely the worst-kept secret in the world,” Marcus said, committed “not only with the knowledge but the absolute complicity of law enforcement.”

See? Leopold isn’t a piece of shit, because the cops helped! And cops are never wrong, especially when the accused person is also the person signing their timesheets. Besides, “taking sick time because you can’t move or pee” is for poors. When you’ve got the power, you can just make your underlings move and pee for you!

[WaPo]

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