Chuck Hagel Loves Terrorism Like Al Jazeera Loves Beheading People

  evildoers

sooooooo gaaaaaayRick Santorum has some thoughts you guys, and apparently they are so important he cannot even save them for his “exclusive” gig at WND, columnizing alongside folks who think the Supreme Court Chief Justice should be impeached for swearing in whats-his-name, the black guy. Here are Rick Santorum’s babies of his brain: Obama’s nominee for Secretary of Defense, former Republican senator Chuck Hagel, loves terrorism. He wants to marry terrorism, and make little satan-butt-babies with terrorism, and they will name their satan-butt-baby “Joe.”

Open up those smegma-crusted facelips and let some knowledge ooze out, Rick Santorum!

“I strongly oppose President Obama’s nomination of former Senator Chuck Hagel for Secretary of Defense because his confirmation would send a dangerous signal to Iran and other radical Islamic elements which would make our country and our allies less secure. President Obama inadvertently whispered his “flexibility” to Russian dictators, and then nominates someone for Secretary of Defense who tipped off the Iranians that he would not use strength to prevent them from obtaining nuclear weapons. I also have concerns over Hagel’s disrespect for our strongest ally in the Middle East, Israel. Time after time, Sen. Hagel has sought to distance the United States from Israel and refused to stop efforts to end terrorist attacks on Israel.

“While I respect Sen. Hagel’s service to America, I cannot stand by and support his nomination. His anti-Israel, pro-Iran mindset makes him uniquely unqualified to serve as our Defense Secretary.

Well, a) we think you mean refused to “support” efforts to end terrorist attacks, not “stop” efforts to end terrorist attacks, because if you meant the opposite then you love terrorist attacks as much as Chuck Hagel does, but we think we know what you are trying to say anyway, so we’re cool.

But b) saying a former Republican senator and current Defense Department nominee WANTS MORE TERRORIST ATTACKS and is PRO-IRAN is the kind of nonsense you really are supposed to save for WND, or maybe Bill O’Reilly.

Wait, did someone say “Bill O’Reilly”? Yes, we did, just now, you would think we would remember that, because it was us.

Well Ol’ Bill has some thoughts too, and they are HY-larious thoughts about how all the Current TV staffers will get beheaded by Al Jazeera! Hahaha, Al Jazeera is not a completely totally respected news source throughout the world, doing excellent journalism, it just chops people’s heads off!

Because Muslim!

Haha, good one, Bill O’Reilly, and, just as we would expect from you, totally not racist at all.

[TPM / MediaMatters]

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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

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