So when we went and got hired to indoctrinate some university students in the black arts of journalism — excuse us, something in our throat ah ah ahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahaha COUGH PHLEGM SPLAT — we knew we had to find the best Wonker who wasn’t all tied down with his JOB, MAN to act in our stead, making sure pictures were correctly sized, puttin’ shit on MyFace, NOT LIBELING PEOPLE, etc. And after much looking, and much asking, and a lot of “him?” that Wonker turned out to be Rich Abdill! Sure, he has “a job,” but it is like almost 5 p.m. on the East Coast anyway. So on Wednesday afternoons and evenings for the next 10 weeks, Herr Mr. Abdill will be your new us. Now continue on your terrible ways.