WHAT ABOUT SATAN?  4:30 pm January 8, 2013

Cheer Up Congress, At Least You Are More Popular Than That Dude Who Knocked Up Rielle Hunter

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Waah, everyone hates Congress, just because it is filled with adult babies who have managed to hold 1,237 votes on repealing Obamacare and outlawing abortion, but couldn’t manage to find time to reauthorize the Violence Against Women Act, because Eric Cantor hates Native American women (thanks to “Elizabeth Warren,” probably). So Public Policy Polling released the results of its head-to-head match-ups of “Congress” vs. things like “head lice” and “Nickelback,” and Twitter was very pleased to announce that people love lice and Nickelback more than they love Congress. But we think they are seeing the glass as half-empty of carbolic acid, when it should be half-full of carbolic acid! Let us discover, together, the people and vermin who are less popular than Congress.

Telemarketers. Telemarketers are less popular than Congress. So are lobbyists, ebola, gonorrhea, Lindsay Lohan and the Kardashians, Communism and Fidel Castro (SADFACE), playground bullies, meth labs, North Korea, and John Edwards.

Sorry, John Edwards. We guess your fairy tale romance/greatest love story of our time was just too much for the haters to bear.

[PPP]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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