I Scream You Scream We All Scream For AR-15s

Alex Jones Yells, Adopts Bad British Accent While Calmly Explaining His Serious Concerns

Damn you all to hell, Alex Jones! You have really gone and done it now. It wasn’t enough that you took fringe conspiracy theories from badly photocopied screeds to the mainstream, or that your idiocy pollutes virtually every Google search, pushing aside decent American porn, or that you have a dedicated following of rabid basement-dwelling humanoids who find G. Gordon Liddy “too mainstream.” No. You just had to go and do something truly unforgivable. You have made us feel sorry for insufferable CNN blancmange Piers Goddamn Morgan. You monster.

So here, Wonkaderos, is your video of Mr. Jones doing his schtick on the set of Piers Morgan’s television program which has, as media critic John Rocker once noted, both visual and audible aspects. He shouts a number of very coherent things about how “1776 will commence again if you try to take our firearms!” and presents his diagnosis for why America has so many mass shootings: antidepressant medications, aka suicide/mass murder pills. Despite Mr. Jones’ best efforts, he is not quite able to provoke Mr. Morgan to punch him in the dick, which certainly would have been “good television.”

After the interview, Morgan described Jones as “pathological” and “unhinged,” and suggested that Jones is the sort of person who, in a rational world, just might not be the best poster boy for gun ownership.

We feel bound by our obsessive attention to detail to inform you that there is also a second part to the interview. We must warn you that the final 45 seconds, when Jones mocks Morgan’s British accent (because not only is he a gun-grabbing foreigner, he talks all faggy!) are especially excruciating.

Oh, and speaking of details? Since the Newtown Massacre, another 588 people have been shot to death in the United States. Fortunately, this is not tyranny.

[Mediaite / Politico / Slate]

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About the author

Doktor Zoom Is the pseudonym of Marty Kelley, who lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his nym from a fan of Silver-Age comics after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition).

View all articles by Doktor Zoom
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