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Good News, Everyone! Rich People Had A Very Nice 2012!

The very rich are different from you and me, they have more stuff

“Last year was a great one for the world’s billionaires,” said John Catsimatidis, the billionaire owner of Red Apple Group Inc., in an e-mail written poolside on his BlackBerry in the Bahamas. “In 2013, they will continue looking for investments around the world — and not necessarily in U.S. — that will give them an advantage.”

Oh good, because they need an advantage, so this is welcome news. What would we all do if the world’s billionaires stopped seeking advantages? Also, we hate to judge people we don’t know, but John Catsimatidis sounds sort of like a shitbag. Anyway, yes, last year sucked for Poors and the middle class one-medical-catastrophe-away-from-being-Poors, but it was GREAT for our financial betters, isn’t that a relief? Now here’s a fun parlor game: guess the aggregate net worth of the world’s 100 richest people. Guess. Did you guess?

$1.9 trilion dollars. One hundred people control $1.9 trillion dollars.

The aggregate net worth of the world’s top moguls stood at $1.9 trillion at the market close on Dec. 31, according to the index. Retail and telecommunications fortunes surged about 20 percent on average during the year. Of the 100 people who appeared on the final ranking of 2012, only 16 registered a net loss for the 12-month period.

How do they do that? We wish we knew how to avoid net losses over 12-month periods, maybe one of you can teach us. Also, in case you wondered what rich people do all day, they focus on “lifestyle and concierge services,” and collecting art, which sounds right to us because when we see rich people wandering around in L.A., they appear to be coming to or from a yogilates class, which probably is part of a “lifestyle [or] concierge service.”

“In 2012, high net worth people focused on the things they could control: lifestyle and concierge services, managing their art collections and family security,” said Armand Del Medico, a wealth adviser for UBS Financial Services, in an e-mail. “Looking forward, there is more of an appetite to look at opportunities outside of traditional investments and increased global exposure.”

What does this mean? We do not know. Someone who speaks Corporate probably knows what it means to “look at opportunities outside of  and increased global exposure.” We have a suspicion that it refers to investments in social media crap, but we aren’t sure. In any case, let us rejoice at the bounty bestowed on the 100 richest people on earth, and wait patiently for it to trickle down on us like a constant golden shower.

[Bloomberg]

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About the author

Kris E. Benson writes about politics for Wonkette and is pursuing a doctorate in philosophy. This will come in handy for when they finally open that philosophy factory in the next town over. @Kris_E_Benson

View all articles by Kris E. Benson

Hola wonkerados.

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