Daily Caller Discovers Who Is Destroying The Earth (It Is Leonardo DiCaprio)

  titanic iceberg joke here

YOU DID THIS JACK. YOU.First of all, let’s get this out in the open: Global warming is a myth. Never mind that the polar ice caps have melted more in the last 20 years than in the last 10,000, and that every scientist except Genius Jim Inhofe says it’s true. IT’S NOT TRUE.

If it were though, the cause is not lax regulation and irresponsible “pro-business” policies, no no no. The Daily Caller’s Jim Treacher, always a treat, has figured out what the problem is: Leonardo DiCaprio.

Yesterday’s DC blog-shart included a ditty from Treacher explaining how awful it was that DiCaprio was partying in Australia, and was then partying in Las Vegas. What an irresponsible way for a part-time climate activist to celebrate New Year’s!

The logical (and more acceptable) alternative, according to Treacher, would be if “he spent New Year’s Eve at home, with all the lights out, soberly contemplating mankind’s cruelty to Mother Earth.”

Yes! How DARE he use his enormous wealth for his own, completely legal ends! What a hypocrite. If we run the rough numbers, we find that Leo’s 7,700-mile trip, stained with THE BLOOD OF THE EARTH, was the global-warming equivalent of 4.2 months of burps from one cow. CLEARLY, in a nation of almost 100 million ever-burping cows, this is what DiCaprio should be focusing on. Not large-scale sustainability or documentaries to educate the public, not clean-water initiatives or disaster relief. Planes full of cow burps.

Shame on you Leo. Shame. [Daily Caller]

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