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‘Don’t Worry About That,’ Cops Tell Women Before Giving Them Roadside Handies


Why is that cop putting on rubber gloves and coming towards me, you might be wondering next time you are pulled over for littering and live in Texas and see a cop coming towards you wearing rubber gloves. Oh THAT, don’t worry about that, just close your eyes and think of England! This is what Texas cops told a woman and her niece moments before giving them full body cavity searches right by the side of the road, in full view of everyone, because they “smelled marijuana.” (They did not say to think of England, but they did say don’t worry, and also, they did not change gloves.)

Here is a nice synopsis of the video courtesy of Alternet:

While talking to the women in the car over a littering charge, the trooper claims he smells marijuana. He then searches the car and finds no marijuana. He then administers a sobriety test, which the woman who was driving passed. No marijuana, no impaired driving, and the observation of a police officer that they might have littered from a car that smells like pot.

So, naturally, he calls a female trooper to the scene to search the women for any contraband marijuana they might have been hiding under their breasts, in their colons, or up their vaginas…The female trooper puts on a pair of latex gloves, tugs on the bras and feels up the underboob of the first lady, then reaches down the crack of her ass to insert a finger into her anus, then turns her around to reach down the front of her pants to slip two fingers into her vagina. Then the female officer repeats the process with the other lady, without changing gloves.

Related video

Fun fact: the Supremes recently okayed strip searches for minor offenses, no word on what they think about roadside body cavity searches using the same pair of gloves, but we’re going to guess (hope?) that this would cross the line.

Funner fact: you go front to back, female copper, or you get poo infections in your ginny!

The ladies are, of course, suing the everloving shit out of the police department. May we suggest a second home in the south of France, we hear it is lovely this time of year.

[Alternet]

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About the author

Kris E. Benson writes about politics for Wonkette and is pursuing a doctorate in philosophy. This will come in handy for when they finally open that philosophy factory in the next town over. @Kris_E_Benson

View all articles by Kris E. Benson

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