JESUS THESE PEOPLE  9:50 am December 27, 2012

Bradlee Dean Tries New Career As Newtown-Obama-U.N. Conspiracy Theory Aggregator

by Doktor Zoom

You've gone and upset Apple Bloom. This can't possibly end well.You may, in spite of your best efforts, remember that Bradlee Dean guy. You know, the one who sued Rachel Maddow for defaming him by playing clips of things he actually said on his own radio show, and lost, big-time? Well, a man has to find a way to pay attorney fees for his gross lesbian nemesis somehow, so Rev. Bradlee “Crazier than Jimmy but less caloric than Paula” Dean is now writin’ him some columns for the WorldNut Daily. In his latest effort, he explains how the U.S. government is almost certainly behind the Newtown massacre, because obviously any President who supports “murdering 3,700 of ‘our children’ in the womb per day” would have no qualms about sending a covert agent to shoot twenty first-graders if it might allow him to seize all of America’s guns.

Rev. Dean has also noticed an uncanny connection between mass slaughters by idiots with guns and the existence of the United Nations!

The Sandy Hook shooting occurred just days after Sen. Rand Paul sent out an alert that the U.N. was set to pass the final version of the Small Arms Treaty, supported by Obama the day after election.

Part of the treaty bans the trade, sale and ownership of all semi-automatic weapons … like the one Adam Lanza used to kill 20 children and 6 adults. [Note: No, it doesn't -- Dok Zoom]

The “Batman shooting” in Aurora, Colo., also happened to coincide with the same time as negotiations of the U.N. Small Arms Treaty.

Seriously, how can anyone deny the incredible linkage between two horrific shootings that occurred within five months of each other, at exactly the same time (i.e., ever since it was formally proposed in 2006) that wingnuts have been lying about a non-binding UN treaty? It is uncanny!

But wait! There’s so much more! Bradlee Dean has discovered that anytime there is a mass shooting, there is initially a lot of confusing and contradictory information, which is utterly different from every other news event!

As we reflect upon massacres such as Sandy Hook, Aurora, the Sikh Temple in Wisconsin, Tuscon, Ariz., and Columbine, we cannot help but see the similarities: conflicting news reports on what happened, who did the killing and the number of shooters. Eyewitnesses in all of these massacres said there were more shooters than the media maintain, indicating the shootings were coordinated and planned.

Don’t you see? It’s just like the Reichstag fire! There actually are no crazy guys with guns at all — it is all just a plot to steal law-abiding Americans’ guns, as seen in how each of these shootings resulted in total gun-banning legislation that was introduced Never.

Oh, also, Bill Clinton personally blew up the Federal Building in Oklahoma City, ordered ATF agents to shoot each other at Waco, and was behind Columbine. Brad made a video about it, pieced together from bits of batshit insanity that has floated around the Internet forever:

We will give Rev. Dean credit for this much: At least he doesn’t just write the same thing over and over again. For instance, when he quotes the full text of the 2nd Amendment in this column, he uses different all-caps emphasis (“shall NOT be infringed”) than he did when he quoted the full text of the 2nd Amendment in a column in November (“a FREE State, the Right of the people…”). The thing has 27 words, so he’s got a minimum of half a year before he has to even think of emphasizing the amendment’s second and third words.

[WND / MediaMatters]

Check out Wonkette on Facebook and Twitter and even on Tumblr. And if you know how it all ties together, man, Doktor Zoom is on Twitter, also, too.

 
Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: