Scoop! Paul Ryan To Be Next House Speaker, According To Some Secret Random Dude Who Gossiped To Laura Ingraham

 We've secretly replaced the video of golden succubus Laura Ingraham, passing on some gossip, with the Circle Jerks classic Coup D'Etat. (Don't worry you are not missing anything. We will tell you what she said.)

So some chick is all "Oh maybe Cathy McMorris-Rodgers will be the new Speaker or something because everything I say is not completely laughable fiction." And then Laura Ingraham is all "I am doing my best not to smirk at your uninformed drivel, fellow television pundit, but everyone knows that some random male source says that the next Speaker of the House will be Paul Ryan, because stud." But be careful, GOPpies! You come at King Boehner, you'd best ... haha, sorry, we are just kidding. That dude is Dead Drunk Walking. So the winner of yesterday's brain tickler quiz is everybody who answered "a pile of human shit." Congratulations, everyone in the world!

[Some ass website, spotted by Wonket superoperative "chascates"]