DON'T KNOW WHAT WE WERE THINKING  11:57 am December 21, 2012

NRA Literally Blows Nation’s Head Off; Midwest Has Sucking Chest Wound

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

In a bizarre “press conference” that permitted no questions, National Rifle Association executive vice president Wayne LaPierre declined to offer the sort of small but sensible concession that many idiots like your Editrix expected in the wake of the Newtown massacre — offering to compromise on the gun show loophole for background checks, for instance, or maybe something about okay fine maybe we don’t need hollow-point bullets — and instead declared #war on gun-free zones at elementary schools, celebrities, the Legend of Zelda, the lack of a national registry of the mentally ill, and probably single mothers and Easy Bake ovens, we don’t know because at some point his words smashed through our brains and splattered them all over our monitor. It is very messy.

The nation’s jaw literally fell off its face as it collectively realized that Code Pink and Medea Benjamin are a bunch of goddamn heroes and that the NRA had fallen into its own Glenn Beckian black hole of insanity as LaPierre spouted weird words about how if soldiers and Secret Service agents have guns then so must the guy standing the local pizza joint’s ground, and that “the only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.” (Or, and we’re just spitballing, a bad guy not having a gun.) Even trained police officers accidentally shoot unarmed people (especially if they’re black, Hispanic, or mentally ill) but obviously nothing could go wrong when random folks are armed like Robocop.

Oh, here’s a thing that just happened. And here is a sampling of gun deaths since Newtown, which sure as fuck doesn’t seem like it was only a week ago.

Anyhoo, we don’t even remember what the hell else LaPierre was babbling about, because we are dead now, from shock and brain damage.

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 298 comments }

kittenbomb December 21, 2012 at 12:00 pm

"LaPierre announced that former Rep. Asa Hutchison, R-Ark., will lead an NRA program that will develop a model security plan for schools that relies on armed volunteers."

Yeah, like that sweetie pie George Zimmerman. What could possibly go wrong?

MaxNeanderthal December 21, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Oh for fucks sake…
SAS, Delta force, etc, etc practice every damn day in their killing house or practice rooms, to enable them to try to kill hostage takers/loony tunes/NRA members. And this little turd thinks wannabe fat old rednecks will be competent to do this how, exactly?

wondering where i am December 21, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Idea supported in depth by this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QjZY3WiO9s&fe

Watch it. It's got Diane Sawyer. But she is not drunk. Oh, well.

Sue4466 December 21, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Batshit Insane NRA Still Batshit Insane.

So glad they had a press conference for this. Because this is news.

MaxNeanderthal December 21, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Meanwhile, in other news, Hilary Clinton pisses in ocean, sharks get passports…

HarryButtle December 21, 2012 at 12:01 pm

OT I love the "37 things to hoard" ad with the sad Obama-loving family, standing in an empty supermarket because the 'Pocalypse happened and they weren't prepared with enough canned food and gunz.

zumpie December 21, 2012 at 12:05 pm

Yes, I woke up to a gently purring kitty on my chest (real kitty, no double entendres, there) and wondered where this maginificent apocalypse I had been promised was. Well, I suppose it came a few hours early for Boner..

Chow Yun Flat December 21, 2012 at 12:16 pm

I don't bother hoarding. If I need something after the collapse I will visit the hoarding neighbors with my Armalite Bushmaster M-15 and take what I need.

finallyhappy December 21, 2012 at 1:01 pm

yeah, well, don't try to get any of my bureau full of yarn!!

An_Outhouse December 21, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Wonkette is starting to load as much crap on its pages as Huffington Post.

Lascauxcaveman December 21, 2012 at 1:18 pm

They're hoarding ads; because Obamapocalypse.

Come here a minute December 21, 2012 at 12:02 pm

The Tennessee girl that was hit by a stray bullet while watching cartoons was asking for it because of slut pills and short pj's.

SuspectedDemocrat December 21, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Was her house a gun-free zone? Figures.

malsperanza December 21, 2012 at 2:22 pm

And being black.

PeaceWithHonor December 21, 2012 at 12:02 pm

There was an All in the Family episode where Archie got time on the local TV news to advocate arming everyone on planes to stop hijackings. We laughed and laughed.

OzoneTom December 21, 2012 at 12:08 pm
Sue4466 December 21, 2012 at 12:02 pm

If only Ronald Reagan and James Brady had been surrounded by good guys with guns.

Biff December 21, 2012 at 12:09 pm

See, that is exactly why we shouldn't do anything, because it's inevitable that we all should die in a hail of bullets.

Sue4466 December 21, 2012 at 12:29 pm

Same reason we shouldn't outlaw things like murder, because then only outlaws will murder.

JustPixelz December 21, 2012 at 12:14 pm

Someone asked how many people you could shoot at a gun show with the type of guns Lanza was carrying. I'll bet it's more than zero.

An_Outhouse December 21, 2012 at 12:28 pm

It would be a cruel joke to throw a big fire cracker into a gun show and see how many people survive.

BaldarTFlagass December 21, 2012 at 12:28 pm

"cruel"?

sewollef December 21, 2012 at 12:34 pm

"joke"?

LesBontemps December 21, 2012 at 12:54 pm

I call it "the scientific method."

carlgt1 December 21, 2012 at 2:43 pm

"Darwin award"?

Sue4466 December 21, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Especially when the assailant is wearing full body armor.

GunToting[Redacted] December 21, 2012 at 1:34 pm

The last gun show I attended (which is the ONLY gun show I've attended) loaded weapons were not allowed. You had to show that anything you brought in to buy or sell was clear, and they put a red Zip-Tie through the action to confirm.

MayanRadio December 21, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Or JFK.

zumpie December 21, 2012 at 12:02 pm

Sooooo, I'm still trying to figure out how he thinks his cut state funding buddies in congress will pay for this, or how turning us into a true jack booted thug police state will make us more free or how a guy with a pistol is gonna really stop a crazy person with an assault rifle. But tha'ts just me, I suppose.

Also, too, also: Fuck you, you crazy, douche bag gun nut. Go join Boner in the wonderful world of irrelevance.

BadKitty904 December 21, 2012 at 12:13 pm

That's crossed my mind, too. We currently can't afford to teach our kids to read and write – who's gonna pay for all these K-12 stormtroopers?

MayanRadio December 21, 2012 at 12:47 pm

Or living in a gunned up encampment makes us free. And zumpie's third comment also too.

gullywompr December 21, 2012 at 1:00 pm

That's easy – the money comes from the savings we get by defunding PBS.

proudgrampa December 21, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Which means these school guards aren't even going to make minimum wage.

oenspiek December 21, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Aren't these school guards going to be volunteers, doing it becuz FREEDUM?

BadKitty904 December 21, 2012 at 1:11 pm

I dunno – Cookie Monster, at least, hasn't killed anybody, to date…

CommieDad December 21, 2012 at 1:45 pm

I hear Elmo's looking for work.

HouseOfTheBlueLights December 21, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Because Everybody Armed = 'merika, freedom
Nobody armed = Nazi Germany

I been edumacating myself on this.

Callyson December 21, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Yeah, I missed the part where he said he'd support a tax on gun purchases to finance this plan.

/FFS again

ETA: From HuffyPo's article on this crap, evidently he thinks people are going to volunteer to be school cops:

LaPierre announced that former Rep. Asa Hutchison, R-Ark., will lead an NRA program that will develop a model security plan for schools that relies on armed volunteers.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/21/nra-pres

/FFS FFS FFS FFS…

zumpie December 21, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Oh goody!!! Nothing says "safe kids" like old coot gun nuts–cause only a bunch of retired wingnuts would volunteer to do this (even freaky preppers are busy creating/planning for the new, NEW apocalypse).

And the old coot gun nuts will STILL probably demand free cheese sandwiches and milk from Chartwells (read our tax dollars in their coffers) as payment.

BaldarTFlagass December 21, 2012 at 12:03 pm

Dang, I sure wish we had guns when I was in elementary school. Kids these days don't know how good they've got it.

BerkeleyBear December 21, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Yeah, I mean only one kid brought a gun to school the whole time I was growing up, and he didn't even go to my school. How exciting and cool it would have been if we could have played Call of Duty in the hallways with live ammo.

finallyhappy December 21, 2012 at 1:02 pm

nah, but we did have a kid toss a firecracker into a stairwell during recess- well, we heard it happened but as we were all out at recess who knows?

Lascauxcaveman December 21, 2012 at 1:27 pm

One kid I know brought a gun to school. He got an "A" on his research paper on muzzle-loading firearms. (During the in-class presentation, he used ground pepper instead of gunpowder. so nobody died.)

Chet Kincaid_ December 21, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Yeah, and if one of 'em tries to move the TV from the living room to the bedroom, you plug 'em!! (Don't know if you have that commercial down there…)

BaldarTFlagass December 21, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Yep. Reference duly noted, and I actually flashed on that ad while I typed my original post…

Barbara_ December 21, 2012 at 12:03 pm

Some say we have enough gun control. Maybe we also need idiot control.

BadKitty904 December 21, 2012 at 12:14 pm

You'd think the guns would act as the ultimate "idiot control," but, so far, not enough…

Loch_Nessosaur December 21, 2012 at 12:03 pm

I liked it best when LaPierre went all Oprah and handed out Bushmaster AR-15's to everyone in attendance at the presser. You get an AR-15 and you get an AR-15….

MayanRadio December 21, 2012 at 12:47 pm

They fit under the seats??!

GunToting[Redacted] December 21, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Folding stocks.

slithytoves December 21, 2012 at 12:03 pm

Breaking news: NRA jumps the shark. I especially like the claim to "bring all of our knowledge to the table." Great. The NRA just lowered the nation's collective I.Q.

BadKitty904 December 21, 2012 at 12:18 pm

"all our knowledge" – of what? Bullying and corrupting legislators? Conning the media? 'Cause they sure don't know jack about gun control.

petforest December 21, 2012 at 12:37 pm

This will turn out to be GREAT for the control people.
Pepy LaPew couldn't have done a worse job if he's come out nude and smeared with anchovy paste.

LesBontemps December 21, 2012 at 12:57 pm

In a room full of hungry cats.

BlueStateLibel December 21, 2012 at 12:03 pm

Cool. We'll have a world like the movie Aliens, where everybody is uneasy and on edge, and you never know who'll snap and blow you away.

BerkeleyBear December 21, 2012 at 12:14 pm

Robin Williams called this shit 20 years ago. Basically Mad Max but with slightly nicer lawns.

BlueMonkeh December 21, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Nevermind that Columbine had an armed officer, and he did fire at the shooters, didn't hit them, and most likely killed an innocent student.

boobookitteh December 21, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Well played, Mayans. Well played.

slithytoves December 21, 2012 at 12:05 pm

Yeah between the NRA and the Republicans – just wow.

proudgrampa December 21, 2012 at 1:06 pm

This is the end of the world as we know it,

I feel fine!!!

BaldarTFlagass December 21, 2012 at 12:04 pm

“the only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.”

And paper covers rock, rock smashes scissors, and scissors cut paper.

BadKitty904 December 21, 2012 at 12:20 pm

"the only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun" is just laws, duly enforced.

Apocalyptypeg December 21, 2012 at 12:38 pm

To build on your movie reference pun-wizardry from the other day:

"LaPierre: I want you to hold your fire…between your knees."

Geminisunmars December 21, 2012 at 1:27 pm

5 Easy Pisses

RadioGunsGunsGuns December 21, 2012 at 12:51 pm

And what stops a troubled person, going through a rough spell, from sticking a Glock in their mouth and splattering brain and bone on the wall?

GunToting[Redacted] December 21, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Eh, eggs; omelets.

Dr. Nick Riviera December 21, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Kif! We have a conundrum!

Chow Yun Flat December 21, 2012 at 12:05 pm

Shorter NRA: "This is the beginning of a serious conversation. We won't be taking questions"

kittenbomb December 21, 2012 at 12:29 pm

That is the NRA's equivalent to "Gentlemen, this is the War Room! You can't fight in here!"

PubOption December 21, 2012 at 12:05 pm

Wayne LaPierre certainly knows how to stay 'on message'.

BadKitty904 December 21, 2012 at 12:22 pm

I'm guessing the transmission from his owners was temporarily jammed by atmospheric interference…

elviouslyqueer December 21, 2012 at 12:05 pm

I have no snark for this. LaPierre is a soulless fucking monster.

Also, too.

Native_of_SL_UT December 21, 2012 at 12:05 pm

So it's OK to register the mentally ill but not lethal hardware?
That's a much slipperier slope than the one they're pissing their pants over.

BadKitty904 December 21, 2012 at 12:24 pm

It didn't seem to work out so well back in 1933…

SexySmurf December 21, 2012 at 12:34 pm

That is incredibly offensive. The mentally ill are no more likely to commit violent acts than the general population. Why don't we start a national database of white males in their 20s since they seem to do all the shooting?

Sassomatic December 21, 2012 at 1:57 pm

You don't fucking say. I'm diagnosed with a mental illness, and I really don't think I should have to be on some national registry that could easily be used against me in the future in other ways just so some gun worshiping tiny dicked douchebags can have semi automatic rifles to make them feel powerful. Fuck those people.

malsperanza December 21, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Yes! Register people, not guns! Because registering guns is an assault on the Constitution, but registering people who fall within an easily stigmatized group on special lists held by the government … nah, no civil-rights problem wit that.

OzoneTom December 21, 2012 at 12:05 pm

Simple, ban hoodies in schools.

DahBoner December 21, 2012 at 12:12 pm

And Arizona Iced Tea, The Root of all Evil…

MosesInvests December 21, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Skittles, also, too.

BaldarTFlagass December 21, 2012 at 12:06 pm

It's more like a monologue. That one by Colonel Kurtz.

BerkeleyBear December 21, 2012 at 12:15 pm

I suddenly feel the need to watch Apocalypse Now just to make the world make a tiny bit of sense.

Callyson December 21, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Double feature with Taxi Driver FTW.

sundaytrucker December 21, 2012 at 12:06 pm

Does the national registry for the mentally ill start with wayne la pierre?

SuspectedDemocrat December 21, 2012 at 12:13 pm

It starts with anyone who buys an assault rifle for fun (sociopath), or self-protection (delusional).

MegPasadena December 21, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Old handsome Joe said it best in this primary debate. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjsxQy0xYUs

An_Outhouse December 21, 2012 at 12:31 pm

He didn't really expound on what we should do with said database. Great, I have here the list of all the crazy people in the country. Whoop dee do.

malsperanza December 21, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Obviously, put them in Obamacamps.

JustPixelz December 21, 2012 at 12:06 pm

"“the only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.”

Sometimes the bad guys do the stopping: 68 police officers were killed in the line of duty by gunfire in 2011.

In Tucson the nut-job shooter was stopped when some of the elderly people there hit him with their folding chairs and subdued him. Then an armed civilian ran out of the Safeway and almost shot the guy who picked up nut-jobs gun.

BerkeleyBear December 21, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Or the "good guy" with the gun manages to miss the bad guy and hit the bystander. Which is enough of a problem that there is actually a conflict in law about whether that sort of reckless firing is chargeable to the party who began the conflict (classic felony-murder doctrine) or only if the bad guy actually did the firing (the bad guy bullet rule).

proudgrampa December 21, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Jurisprudence is hard.

comrad_darkness December 21, 2012 at 1:48 pm

That is a major unaddressed flaw in the gun nut global fully armed plan. Which is, when the cops arrive, who the hell do they shoot at/and or apprehend?

Buzz Feedback December 21, 2012 at 12:06 pm

Even Floyd R. Turbo is aghast.

lefty74 December 21, 2012 at 12:06 pm

Fear is a marketable commodity. Marketer in Chief WLP.

BadKitty904 December 21, 2012 at 12:26 pm

It's been the GOP's primary commodity since 09/11/2001.

Kid_Charlemagne December 21, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Yet another one piles out of the clown car that is the Republican Party's constituency.

NellCote71 December 21, 2012 at 12:37 pm

You think there would be a law of physics limit or something, but apparently not.

Not_So_Much December 21, 2012 at 12:07 pm

I regret that I have but one fuck to give about Wayne LaPierre.

BaldarTFlagass December 21, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Don't give that fuck to him! Save it for someone worthwhile.

LesBontemps December 21, 2012 at 1:01 pm

I have a whole bag of fucks I'm not giving about Wayne LaPierre.

viennawoods13 December 21, 2012 at 1:02 pm

I regret that I have but one upfist to give this comment.

BadKitty904 December 21, 2012 at 12:07 pm

The wingnuts keep losing sight of the problem – American schools shouldn't *N*E*E*D* an enhanced security plan.

The reason our schools are currently in danger is because there are too many crazy people with guns. Not swords, not axes, not crossbows – GUNS.

BerkeleyBear December 21, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Although a crossbow bolt to the head can ruin your whole day. Someone actually got killed that way in Southern California 20 years ago or so, which actually was touted briefly by the gun nuts as evidence gun control was a waste of time – never mind the daily coverage of drive by shootings.

slithytoves December 21, 2012 at 12:07 pm

God bless the protesters. That guy with the pink sign was up there for at least 30 seconds. First Amendment trumps Second Amendment!

kittenbomb December 21, 2012 at 12:31 pm

I wish one of them had pulled out a TOY gun, just to see LaPierre shit his pants on live teevee.

Callyson December 21, 2012 at 1:15 pm

I was surprised at how long that guy was able to hold the sign before they pulled him away from the cameras. Good on him.

BaldarTFlagass December 21, 2012 at 1:24 pm

The guys responsible for protecting LaPierre from Code Pinkers were all out on coffee break, cleaning their Glocks.

Mahousu December 21, 2012 at 12:07 pm

We don't have to worry about bad guys using guns. According to those Harvard researchers, pretty much anyone using a gun thinks of himself as a good guy. So, no problem.

BadKitty904 December 21, 2012 at 12:27 pm

"I was only following orders."

orygoon December 21, 2012 at 12:08 pm

You sound just a tiny bit mad about this.

Native_of_SL_UT December 21, 2012 at 12:12 pm

Mad/angry or mad/crazy? One needs to be registered ya know?

gullywompr December 21, 2012 at 12:08 pm

The NRA, with all it's stupidity, is playing right into the hands of smart people. He said EXACTLY the wrong thing, it could not have been more perfectly wrong.

They are SO going to lose.

HarryButtle December 21, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Yup, nice to see him double down on teh stoopid.

gullywompr December 21, 2012 at 12:24 pm

And to ensure that the news cycle will be extended, and not favorably towards them.

ManchuCandidate December 21, 2012 at 12:08 pm

It seems like for many gun nuts, a gun is the only hard thing they can hold in their hand.

WeHaveIssues December 21, 2012 at 1:23 pm

No, this is untrue. Their teeny, tiny penises do get hard whenever they hear Rachel Maddow's voice (and they find this confusing but can't help themselves).

Chow Yun Flat December 21, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Sarah Jane Moore tried to assassinate Gerald Ford with a pistol in 1975. She was stopped by an unarmed bystander who grabber her arm. Shame he didn't have a semi-automatic carbine–he could have sprayed the whole crowd and gotten any other potential assassins.

DahBoner December 21, 2012 at 12:09 pm

"we don’t even remember what the hell else LaPierre was babbling about…"

LaPierre talking about gun control is like Bristol Palin talking about virginity…

SorosBot December 21, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Keep fucking that well-armed chicken, NRA.

Sue4466 December 21, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Okay, so this guy expects us to trust that gun nuts will know how to respond to an armed attack when he seemed so befuddled by someone holding up a protest sign?

BadKitty904 December 21, 2012 at 12:29 pm

Well spotted.

PubOption December 21, 2012 at 12:47 pm

'Standing his ground' against the protester would not look good on TV.

hagajim December 21, 2012 at 12:09 pm

More guns, guns, guns! That is all – thank you!

JustPixelz December 21, 2012 at 12:09 pm

The sad fact is there are hundreds of millions of guns floating around in America. That won't change very soon unless we embark on a 9/11 style trillion dollar gun buyback program. (Why not!?) In the interim, lets hire veterans to fortify our schools. They are trained to set up interlocking fields of fire, kill zones, bounding advances and other stuff I just learned from google. And they need jobs.

TavariousChinaSmith December 21, 2012 at 12:21 pm

How about land mines? Would that work?

Dudleydidwrong December 21, 2012 at 12:32 pm

Here's an example of one of LaPierre's Good Guys: http://www.mercedsunstar.com/2012/12/20/2717641/m

proudgrampa December 21, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Jesus H. Christ.

coolhandnuke December 21, 2012 at 12:10 pm

He also pushed for Ted Nugent to head the Dept. of Education.

Doktor Zoom December 21, 2012 at 12:10 pm

Mortally Wounded Nation States "I'm Cold," Congress Offers Sulfa Powder and "There, There."

NRA Head: Raise Number Of Missions, Insist On Tighter Bomb Patterns

gullywompr December 21, 2012 at 12:21 pm

Not sure if you remember during the Vietnam war, when every night on the news they would give the body count for that day. This nightly quatification of attrition, I think, affected the nation's attitude towards the war.

Maybe we should do that again.

BaldarTFlagass December 21, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Maybe everyone should be armed with 344mm Lepage Glue Guns.

BadKitty904 December 21, 2012 at 12:30 pm

Teabaggers Issue Statement: "Walk It Off, Ya Wuss."

BaldarTFlagass December 21, 2012 at 12:31 pm

"Rub some dirt on it, ya fuckin' Mary."

MoeDeLawn December 21, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Going to Heller in a handbasket, we are. Ol' Joe is weeping softly in a corner of heaven.

Apocalyptypeg December 21, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Major Major Major Major Bummer.

(excellent analogy, Dok.)

eggsacklywright December 21, 2012 at 12:43 pm

General Dreedle salutes you.

Doktor Zoom December 21, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Is this is a feather in the NRA's cap? Or a big black eye?

Angry_Marmot December 21, 2012 at 2:12 pm

I find Dreedle's FAP easy to whack to, I mean, Dreedle's WAC easy to fap to.

sullivanst December 21, 2012 at 12:56 pm

I see everything twice thirteen times.

sullivanst December 21, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Make that fourteen. This fucking country.

mavenmaven December 21, 2012 at 12:10 pm

That code pink guy is lucky LaPierre didn't just start shooting. You know he wanted to.

docterry6973 December 21, 2012 at 12:58 pm

I would have loved that, if some NRA thug pulled a gun on the guy holding the sign. It would have made a nice tableau.

johnnyzhivago December 21, 2012 at 12:10 pm

If we could only get more guns out to people we could begin to get a handle on all of this senseless killing!!!!!!!!!

Botlrokit December 21, 2012 at 12:11 pm

"The truth is [...]

"…that we are self-loathing. We barely have any close friends, but we're surrounded by parroters and nodding sycophants, which can be equally comforting — given that our only commonality is killin' things."

SayItWithWookies December 21, 2012 at 12:11 pm

From yesterday: Teen shot dead after argument about paintball:

“T.Y. advised that he and Braiden got into an argument about a paintball incident that occurred in the past. T.Y. advised that they began to wrestle around jokingly,” the documents say. “T.Y. advised that Braiden then went to the front door of the residence close to the kitchen where they were standing and that Braiden retrieved a semi-automatic shotgun.”

The documents say T.Y. said McCahren walked into the kitchen area and pointed the shotgun at T.Y., who heard the gun click.

Then McCahren went to some drawers where there was ammunition and got a shotgun shell and loaded it into the gun, according to the documents.

You can guess how the rest of the story goes. And I'm sure these unsupervised teenagers with lots of guns in the house were probably properly instructed about gun safety, because that's how things work in America's heartland.

BadKitty904 December 21, 2012 at 12:34 pm

Another child dead due to easy access to guns. Well done, NRA.

johnnyzhivago December 21, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Guns Don't Kill People: XBOXes Do!

TavariousChinaSmith December 21, 2012 at 12:19 pm

In my day, Pac Man made us kill children.

jakegittes December 21, 2012 at 1:59 pm

And eat them, too.

Baconzgood December 21, 2012 at 12:11 pm

I find this difficult to masturbate to.

NellCote71 December 21, 2012 at 12:41 pm

I know, poor baby. It is has been quite a dry spell (heh-heh) for you this past week or so.

docterry6973 December 21, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Amen, brother. Try as I might, I can't find cheap sex jokes in any of this, and cheap sex jokes is my middle name.

Baconzgood December 21, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Mine's Alvin.

BaldarTFlagass December 21, 2012 at 12:12 pm

Bang bang, he shot me down
Bang bang, I hit the ground
Bang bang, that awful sound
Bang bang, that crazy shot me down…

BadKitty904 December 21, 2012 at 12:12 pm

And, no doubt, LIBRUL cartoons.

johnnyzhivago December 21, 2012 at 12:12 pm

If we only stopped reporting all of this gun violence we could all begin to feel safer!

Oblios_Cap December 21, 2012 at 12:26 pm

That was pretty much the Bush Administration's answer to inconvenient statistics.

SexySmurf December 21, 2012 at 12:12 pm

Despite last week, schools are still the safest place for children. America only has two settings: arrogant complacency (embassy security, for example) or knee-jerk overreaction (everything that was done after 9/11).

GunToting[Redacted] December 21, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Stealing this.

KennyFuckingPowers December 21, 2012 at 12:13 pm

A week later and this is the best that dickhead can come up with?
Santa has nothing but big 30 round clips and lumps of coal for this bunch of
chickenshits.

weejee December 21, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Vietnam War draft-dodger Wayne LaPierre should have to walk point on a LRRP adventure near the Paki border in Kandahar Province. That might change his love affair with not-so-pretend assault rifles.

Worthless pile of poo gets me all shouty. Stabby, too.

BaldarTFlagass December 21, 2012 at 12:27 pm

"gets me all shouty. Stabby, too."

But not shooty, at least.

BadKitty904 December 21, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Which is kinda the entire point here.

weejee December 21, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Difficult to get too shooty, since I only am licensed to carry a SpudGun™.

The Army qualified me on M14 & M16 rifles, the M1911 .45 and 2-inch barrel .38 pistols, M60 light machine gun, and M79 grenade launcher, but that was all long ago and far away. At my age I'd be dangerous to be armed with a rubber band.

RadioGunsGunsGuns December 21, 2012 at 12:57 pm

This comment has been deleted by the administrator.

RadioGunsGunsGuns December 21, 2012 at 1:15 pm

Wayne LaPierre, CEO of the National Rifle Association – did not serve (apparently pulled lottery #97 in 1969 as a campus radical at SUNY-Albany, but weaseled out by getting a family doctor to claim he had a nervous disorder).

johnnyzhivago December 21, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Standing his ground!

TavariousChinaSmith December 21, 2012 at 12:14 pm

These people don't have mirrors or beds, right?

eggsacklywright December 21, 2012 at 12:45 pm

And never get near garlic.

TavariousChinaSmith December 21, 2012 at 2:44 pm

They may indeed be vampires, but I was going more for the idea of "how can they look themselves in a mirror, and how do they sleep at night?"

johnnyzhivago December 21, 2012 at 12:14 pm

On a serious note, why was it that I was sure the NRA was going to actually come to some sort of meaningful sounding bullshit idea like "sitting down and talking about this". I really am a SAP.

SayItWithWookies December 21, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Don't feel bad — somebody had to be born yesterday.

finallyhappy December 21, 2012 at 1:11 pm

guess you are- but we love you anyway. I knew the NRA would be full of shit. LaPierre doesn't make the big bucks from gun makers and gun owners by being reasonable, compassionate or intelligent.

Lot_49 December 21, 2012 at 1:13 pm

They're doubling down! They're not retreating—they're reloading! They've put the surveyors marks on the anti-gun lobby, the crazies and the librul media!

It's a kind of a relief, really. Now we can continue to ignore them, and start figuring out what goes wrong in own person's head that makes him love guns more than life, family, sex, fine Cabernets, or his own mother.

StillGoinGreen December 21, 2012 at 12:15 pm

The saddest part is the fact that people who keep up with gun violence stats can't keep up with gun violence stats. By the time you click on their link, they are behind by a few. Although we feel for the 27 families in Newtown, there are 100 or so individual families across America since that tragic event who now feel the same anguish. America doesn't have the time or energy to light a candle for each individual family of gun violence, so let's fucking light a fire under our Congress' ass to do something about it!

*Steps off the box and wipes his eyes*

NellCote71 December 21, 2012 at 12:42 pm

Right on.

proudgrampa December 21, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Thank you.

johnnyzhivago December 21, 2012 at 12:15 pm

You have to wonder what kind of braintrust they have in their strategy department?

BadKitty904 December 21, 2012 at 12:36 pm

And how much they're paid.

Exhausted66 December 21, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Thanks for the giant spider on the toilet "related video." I will never go to the bathroom again.

TootsStansbury December 21, 2012 at 12:15 pm

I got nothing except spit flecked outrage. The real kind, not that fake right wing bullshit.

Doktor Zoom December 21, 2012 at 12:17 pm

Call of Shooty

johnnyzhivago December 21, 2012 at 12:17 pm

I thought conservatives were OPPOSED to a Police State, and now they want a cop in every classroom and probably every post office, outhouse, hen house and whorehouse.

It's gonna be like one big giant New Jersey where you can't pass a traffic light without a cop sitting there with his radar/laser gun.

BadKitty904 December 21, 2012 at 12:37 pm

They're opposed to any police state other than the one THEY impose and control.

BaldarTFlagass December 21, 2012 at 12:18 pm

I wonder if that Code Pink person with the banner is the same one that hangs the "John 3:16" sign in the endzone at all the NFL games.

Oblios_Cap December 21, 2012 at 12:18 pm

That chair Clint Eastwood spoke to at the GOP convention made more sense than LaPierre.

LaPeirre sounds awfully French, too.

PubOption December 21, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Yes, Wayne the Rock. Je crois que la pierre est dans sa tete.

BadKitty904 December 21, 2012 at 12:42 pm

Le pistolet de ma tante est sur le bureau de mon oncle…

comrad_darkness December 21, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Why didn't he change his name to LaAmericanfries more than a decade ago?

PubOption December 21, 2012 at 12:19 pm

List of murderers named Wayne: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/dubo
The list of enablers may contain only LaPierre's name.

sullivanst December 21, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Even trained police officers accidentally shoot unarmed people (especially if they’re black, Hispanic, or mentally ill) but obviously nothing could go wrong when random folks are armed like Robocop.

Case in point.

Exhausted66 December 21, 2012 at 12:20 pm

I'm growing more and more comfortable with the "cold, dead hands" scenario.

Exhausted66 December 21, 2012 at 12:20 pm

…from votes!-

Tommy1733 December 21, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Hollow-point votes.

NellCote71 December 21, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Semi-automatic votes.

Beowoof December 21, 2012 at 12:21 pm

Did anyone mention to Wayne that a low key news dump takes place later on Friday? Cause I think I see the lead story in almost every National and Local Newscast tonight.

Chow Yun Flat December 21, 2012 at 12:22 pm

I'm certainly no expert but maybe the easy availability of guns and bullets in the US has an effect on the number homicides done with guns and bullets.

docterry6973 December 21, 2012 at 12:40 pm

That is liberal nonsense, of course. It is obvious to all that we need more guns and bullets so we can shoot more of the people who use guns and bullets.

under_score December 21, 2012 at 12:22 pm

He said nothing I haven't already read in the comment section of my local paper. This would be among the more sane things I saw. I'm so looking forward to the editorial promoting this totally reasonable plan (not totally reasonable).

So, chances of TX lege finding the $$ for it?

Thurman Munster IV December 21, 2012 at 12:23 pm

I have nothing to add to the Editrix's post and my fellow Wonketteer's comment. So I'll just go all Oprah on y'all: you get a up fist. And you get an up fist. Every fucking one of you magnificent bastards gets an upfist.

HRH_Maddie December 21, 2012 at 12:23 pm

I genuinely don't know where to begin. There's ALWAYS money for guns and war. How about instead of an armed guard in every school, we put more teachers or school psychologists?

docterry6973 December 21, 2012 at 12:43 pm

More money for cops in every school? Ha ha. The money for the extra cops has to come FROM the money that already goes to the schools. Which politicians will continue to cut, because taxes.

gullywompr December 21, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Big Bird, also too.

finallyhappy December 21, 2012 at 1:14 pm

school psychologists are being cut in budgets. And according to my sister- an HS psychologist- elementary schools need them even more- it is much more harrowing to work with elementary school kids according to my sister(guess they don't have too many places to turn or even understand what is going wrong-too young to run away or fight back)

HRH_Maddie December 21, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Plus, if you can treat or alleviate the problems younger in life, you're less likely to become a deranged adult.

Dr_Zoidberg December 21, 2012 at 12:23 pm

Of all days for the apocalypse not to have happened…

docterry6973 December 21, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Like someone tweeted, I am really warming up to the idea of the world ending today.

christianmuslin December 21, 2012 at 12:23 pm

What a great way to grow the economy and get people back to work. Put a policeman, or self-appointed militia type, at every school. Just don't forget there fuzzynuts, every school includes private schools, some of which are run by the Muslims and the Jews, and even the Mormons. What about Home Schools. Students should have the same protection regardless of school choice.

But, why stop with schools, as many churches provide day care for both the young and the elderly. They should have protection. Some schools are located in strip malls, like the ones that offer training for manicures, hair cutting, tax preperation and even blow jobs. We have cooking schools, driving schools, SAT schools, real estate buying schools, language schools; gosh, the list is endless.

We'll just be one armed guard fuckery by the time we get this idea implemented.

What's next, designer guns with built in cell phones and condom dispensers?

docterry6973 December 21, 2012 at 12:45 pm

No, because birth control is bad.

BerkeleyBear December 21, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Between this and the "Obama didn't take your guns for 4 years and extended gun rights because secretly it is all a plot to take your guns" I'm thinking LaPierre opposes stricter mental health background checks for personal reasons.

Oh and a mental health registry – that is a bad fucking idea, assholes. We have a hard enough time getting people to own up to mental health problems and seek treatment – turning it into a scarlet letter A is not the answer. (Now, actually requiring people who would seek a firearm to pass a mental health screening, failing which would lead to a national ban for a minimum length of time? This is a good thing).

comrad_darkness December 21, 2012 at 1:58 pm

I like your last proposal. I think that should be adopted as the defacto starting point for negotiations.

BaldarTFlagass December 21, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Ahm the rootinest, tootinest, shootinest hombre this sahd of the Pecos!!!

Chet Kincaid_ December 21, 2012 at 12:31 pm
DogWhisperer December 21, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Why is nobody mentioning any nonlethal ways to stop a mass murderer? I want to see a teacher's assistant, weapon seeking, bullet proof, taser robot in every school, painted in bright, primary colors, of course. Or at least a taser in the principle's desk. Maybe the robot could tutor math, also.

You no longer need another gun (and the risk of additional accidental deaths) to stop someone who is using a gun.

Slim_Pickins December 21, 2012 at 12:28 pm

With apologies to Monty Python

GUNS! GUNS! GUNS! GUNS!
GUNS! GUNS! GUNS! GUNS!
GUNS! GUNS! GUNS! GUNS!
GUNS! GUNS! GUNS! GUNS!

NEEDZ MOR GUNZ

GUNS! GUNS! GUNS! GUNS!
GUNS! GUNS! GUNS! GUNS!
GUNS! GUNS! GUNS! GUNS!
GUNS! GUNS! GUNS! GUNS!

(refrain): GUNS! GUNS! GUNS!
GUNS! GUNS! GUNS! GUNS!
GUNS! GUNS! GUNS! GUNS!
GUNS! GUNS! GUNS! GUNS!
GUNS! GUNS! GUNS! GUNS!
GUNS! GUNS! GUNS! GUNS!
GUNS! GUNS! GUNS! GUNS!
GUNS! GUNS! GUNS! GUNS!

“IT WASN’T OUR FAULT” SAYS
THE NRA. “YOU NEED MORE GUNZ!”

GUNS! GUNS! GUNS! GUNS!
GUNS! GUNS! GUNS! GUNS!
GUNS! GUNS! GUNS! GUNS!
GUNS! GUNS! GUNS! GUNS!

Refrain…
Refrain…
Refrain…
Refrain, etc.

lulzmonger December 21, 2012 at 12:30 pm

Gauleiter LaPierre certainly seems nervous, & with good reason: rumors are afoot in DC that Obama may soon sign an executive order mandating a high-capacity corpse-fucker registry.

♫ Meet the new baktun,
Same as the old baktun … ♫

kingcocrazy December 21, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Wayne, you're a gaping pussy. We need to raise the stakes. We need access to fully automatic weapons to end the carnage. And think about THIS a little bit, you big fag. A proud patriot with a legal tactical nuke in hand could have cleaned up that little mess in Newtown VERY nicely.

Misty Malarky December 21, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Will Big Government subsidize the required black hats and white hats so we can tell the bad guys from the good guys?

An_Outhouse December 21, 2012 at 12:33 pm

I like how he inserted the dog whistle discussing urban gangs and then lack of federal prosecution of gun laws. Those blah guys sure do stick together. Very subtle.

"Killers, robbers, rapists and drug gang members who have spread like cancer in every community in this country. Meanwhile, federal gun prosecutions have decreased by 40% — to the lowest levels in a decade."
— Wayne "little dick" Lapierre

kyeshinka December 21, 2012 at 12:34 pm

Strange. I don't feel psychotic after playing a video game. However, ten minutes listening to a GOP senator on CNN really sets me off.

NellCote71 December 21, 2012 at 12:47 pm

I know. And furthermore, I did not realize my playing Angry Birds and Solitaire City caused the deaths in Sandy Point. I have been known to listen to music as well. And I don't own a gun. So, my bad. Sorry.

NellCote71 December 21, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Sorry. Mean to say Sandy Hook, not Point.

beefhardcake December 21, 2012 at 12:35 pm

Does anyone have a barrel of hand sanitizer close by? I made the mistake of reading the whole text of the NRA statement, and I've never felt more besmirched.

joobajooba December 21, 2012 at 12:35 pm

"have you no sense of decency" http://youtu.be/fqQD4dzVkwk

Rufus T. Firefly December 21, 2012 at 12:35 pm

I blame rap music.

docterry6973 December 21, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Please, everybody pray (or the equivalent thereof) that Becca pulls through this episode of death, because we will need her help to survive the next few months of crisis.

We certainly don't have a government, so we will need extra snark to survive.

Rufus T. Firefly December 21, 2012 at 12:37 pm

True story: Wayne Lapierre once shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.

SayItWithWookies December 21, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Hmmph — one of my FB friends (an acquaintance I haven't seen since high school) posted pics of his new handgun, a Glock-esque semiauto that he got as a present, saying this was gonna be the best Christmas present ever.

Oh, and this was the guy whose girlfriend, when he broke up with her in high school, got daddy's gun out of the closet, sat in her bathtub and put a bullet in her chest. It's been more than twenty years, but I still remember how grief-stricken he was. Must've gotten over it by now. I'm not sure if I would've.

chascates December 21, 2012 at 12:38 pm

How about the NRA officers and board refusing any salary or other rewards from the organization and the gun makers for the rest of their lives? That's a start.

valmach December 21, 2012 at 12:39 pm

live by the gun – ,, anyone ever heard that.. many schools have over 3,000 kids running around in them.. One armed cop.. armed principal .. armed teachers.. who may or may not be having a bad day.. or molesting your kid.. be medicated.. what insanity… Best advice for Americans.. Leave America.. when your kids can't go to school without being worried about dying.. the system is completely & irreparably broken…I hear Scandinavia is nice this time of year.. one thing though.. they don't like Americans

BadKitty904 December 21, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Hell, just accidentally dropping a loaded handgun in a crowded classroom of kids would be too much…

SuspectedDemocrat December 21, 2012 at 12:39 pm

A math teaching taser robot would be awesome!

"you forgot to carry the one — ZZZAP!"

Tommy1733 December 21, 2012 at 12:40 pm

Rebeccah, thank you for watching that. You are brave and I would like to hide behind you.

snowpointsecret December 21, 2012 at 12:40 pm

Shorter NRA: IT'S DANGEROUS TO GO ALONE. TAKE THIS. *holds out gun*

SuspectedDemocrat December 21, 2012 at 12:40 pm

He forgot to mention how upset the NRA gets every time the feds try to prosecute gun law violations.

BaldarTFlagass December 21, 2012 at 12:41 pm

The kind that shoots out the flag that says "BANG!"? That would have been classic.

mustangsavvy December 21, 2012 at 12:42 pm

So in conclusion America – we need more religious rituals at our schools even if some of the people reciting "under God" actually don't even believe in God (so that we can all feel collectively good about being collectively "good") AND more people with guns. Everywhere. Forever. This is the solution to every social/spiritual/emotional/physical problem anyone ever has:religious ritual and GUNS. Knock yourselves out.

christianmuslin December 21, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Will there be armed guard protection at that new school that keeps popping up on my tablet:
fixjets.com

BaldarTFlagass December 21, 2012 at 1:15 pm

Sounds like a site dedicated to getting rid of Sanchez and Tebow.

BadKitty904 December 21, 2012 at 12:44 pm

No. They do not.

rocktonsam December 21, 2012 at 12:46 pm

"develop a model security plan for schools that relies on armed volunteers."

chicken fucker continues to fuck that chicken

ChrisM2011 December 21, 2012 at 12:47 pm

The only way conservatives will pay for this is if they hire Halliburton. Combining education and privatized military? A conservative's wet dream!!

SuspectedDemocrat December 21, 2012 at 12:47 pm

Did he get to the part about the weekly machine gun socials? Or the school ammunition sale to raise money to send the band to this year's UIL competition? It wouldn't take much to retool shop class for budding young gunsmiths. At the same time we must do something about this culture of violence, maybe cancelling the art and music program (except for military-style marching band, of course).

finallyhappy December 21, 2012 at 1:21 pm

that reminds me of a gun that existed(?) when I was a kid. It involved a slide lock , a rubber band and a bullet- I am not sure how it worked or if it did. I guess real guns were a lot harder to get in the 50s and 60s- but a lock and a rubber band were easy- not sure about the bullet- but it only shot one time

MonkeyMotion December 21, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Get a load of this irony [from the Crossroads of the West Gunshow website]:

Q: Can I bring a gun to the show to sell or trade?
A: Yes, and many folks do. Please be sure the gun is unloaded before you enter the building, and take it to our gun check table at the show entry for verification. No loaded firearms and no loaded magazines are permitted in any Crossroads gun show. Your personal safety is our number one priority while you are at the show.

Of course loaded firearms are OK in elementary schools…[wimper]

BigSkullF*ckingDog December 21, 2012 at 12:49 pm

I am actually glad this is their reaction. The sooner the NRA and the republicans go the way of the dodo, the better off the rest of us will be. I, and a lot of sane Americans have mostly been ignoring the gun nuts ever since W and wall street gave us other things to worry about. But this time it feels different. The response is not the same and I believe most sane Americans think its time for a change. People have woken up to the fact that the tea party does not speak for the majority, but are more like a bunch of babies throwing a tantrum. Of course everyone pays attention to the tantrum. They have no choice. It's annoying and all they want is for the baby to STFU so they can eat their bloomin onion in peace.

johnnyzhivago December 21, 2012 at 12:49 pm

I love that banner – I guess that's the NRA's new slogan?? "NRA: Killing Our Kids since 1901"…

Has a ring to it and I like the funky font they used – makes it look spontaneous.

NellCote71 December 21, 2012 at 12:50 pm

My favorite part was when Pee Pee La Pew showed the video game about killing kindergartners, and then chastised the media for not bringing it to anyone's attention. I confess, I will take the blame for this as well. I never, ever in a million years thought to Google: "kill kindergartners" video game. Never.

finallyhappy December 21, 2012 at 1:22 pm

and yet, even if you play this game- you still cannot actually kill anyone with it. I guess you could bash someone's head in with the game system- so maybe I am wrong.

larrykat December 21, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Is this the NRA's jump-the-shark moment? Is it like Rove babbling about winning on election night? Will this enshrine them right next to groups like the John Birch Society or the Man-Boy Love Association? All I have is questions, sorry.

NellCote71 December 21, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Cheney is creaming in his pants, as we speak.

larrykat December 21, 2012 at 12:52 pm

That's because you don't love America, duh.

BadKitty904 December 21, 2012 at 12:58 pm

"love America 'enough'"…

OneYieldRegular December 21, 2012 at 12:52 pm

I've stopped talking to the gun-owners I know until they melt down their guns and melt down Wayne LaPierre with them.

Also, it takes a special talent to be able to beat John Boehner out for least popular person in America this week.

BadKitty904 December 21, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Will teachers get combat pay?

Nopantsmcgee December 21, 2012 at 12:54 pm

When they told me that "freedum ain't free" I didn't know they meant to use a 1st Grader's blood to pay for it.

chascates December 21, 2012 at 12:55 pm

I was looking for the Salon article that outlined the financial web involving the NRA bosses and the gun lobby and makers but didn't spend the time to find it among the many interest articles about the NRA Salon has: http://www.salon.com/search/?q=nra

As someone who has been a member in the past the NRA magazine is filled with articles decrying the federal government's plans to confiscate all guns and enslave us all, a position they've held since the early 1960s. Curiously one of the first attempts at gun control involved a proposed law that would make people who bought firearms by mail sign and mail an affidavit to the seller that stated the buyer was over age 18. And the NRA and the gun manufacturers agreed! Of course that was only the camel's nose under the tent so gun control hysteria is the only orthodoxy now.

Current members of the NRA are bombarded with snail mail, email, and entreaties in the magazine to send in every cent they can to prevent what they've been warning about for a half century. 'Right now gun grabbers Obama, Holder, and Pelosi are walking up to your front door and we might be able to sidetrack them if we have the funds to do so.'

Wow, that sounds like television evangelists! I have to go lay down.

finallyhappy December 21, 2012 at 1:24 pm

if I thought the President would come to my front door- I would walk down to Atlantic Guns in Silver Spring and buy one and turn it over to him when he knocked on my door. But I'm not buying my first gun to give it to Nancy or Eric

BaldarTFlagass December 21, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Loaded handguns at a gun show would add a certain frisson to the act of haggling.

BadKitty904 December 21, 2012 at 12:57 pm

An armed haggler is a serious haggler.

BaldarTFlagass December 21, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Every time I play video games, I die of dysentery.

Barrelhse December 21, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Fuck the NRA. They need to be marginalized and laughed at like the Teabaggers.

BadKitty904 December 21, 2012 at 1:03 pm

They're sure working on it. Today's NRA media statement sure helps in reaching that goal.

Warco3 December 21, 2012 at 12:58 pm

He might as well have just said "UNGA BUNGA!".

BadKitty904 December 21, 2012 at 1:12 pm

For all practical purposes, he did.

HouseOfTheBlueLights December 21, 2012 at 12:59 pm

I say we arm Trix and let 'er loose.

BadKitty904 December 21, 2012 at 1:00 pm

So. Turning the US school system into a war zone is the NRA's best shot? So to speak?

Detesticle December 21, 2012 at 1:02 pm

"People kill people, so don't arm them."

That's what I heard the NRA say today. That's correct, yes?

ttommyunger December 21, 2012 at 1:03 pm

I'd like to apologize publicly for being a Life Member of the NRA. It was l956, I was 15 years old. The NRA was a reputable source for practical and technical information about firearms. All that has changed now, and not in a good way. The NRA has become joined at the hip with the Republican Party and now sells Right-Wing Policies and Fear. The currency is not Dollars and Cents, it is votes and guns.

Lot_49 December 21, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Republican Party and the gun manufacturers, who lavish money on it to keep scaring its members into buying more gunz.

ttommyunger December 21, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Eggzaclkly!Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

GunToting[Redacted] December 21, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Thankfully, I never joined. I am a member of a sport shooting organization, but they make attempts not to appear overtly political. I know that 95% of the members are hardcore GOOPers, but we pretend anyway.

ttommyunger December 21, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Good luck with that.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

Callyson December 21, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Somehow, my trademark phrase seems lacking.

That said:

Oh, for fuck's sake…

BaldarTFlagass December 21, 2012 at 1:06 pm

*Baldar watches LaPierre on screen*

You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talking… you talking to me? Well I'm the only one here. Who the fuck do you think you're talking to? Oh yeah? OK.
*Draws*

docterry6973 December 21, 2012 at 1:07 pm

On a better day I might try to do something with the 'midwest has a sucking chest wound' headline, but I don't have it in me.

Lot_49 December 21, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Here's proof that guns aren't the problem.

We clearly need a national registry of crazy people. Wonder who'd be #1 on the list? Could his initials be W la P?

docterry6973 December 21, 2012 at 1:14 pm

It looks like four people were shot dead For Freedom while W la P was speaking. http://www.mcall.com/news/breaking/mc-four-dead-p

If there is a God, she really, really loves irony.

SuspectedDemocrat December 21, 2012 at 1:34 pm

We can make sure this never happens again by having an armed volunteer on every country road.

BadKitty904 December 21, 2012 at 1:14 pm

See: Gesetz zur Verhütung erbkranken Nachwuchses

That was tried, basically, in 1933. It didn't turn out so good.

Lot_49 December 21, 2012 at 1:21 pm

NRO's cool with it, though, as we saw yesterday.

mrblifil December 21, 2012 at 1:30 pm

He could have just shat on the lectern. Then he would have been introducing something of substance to the conversation.

Auntie_Spinster December 21, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Ann Coulter: "Pepe le pew" is a surrender monkey. We will never dismount from our Apache Killer Copters until all children are belong to us.

gullywompr December 21, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Proceed, Wayne.

comrad_darkness December 21, 2012 at 1:36 pm

What? They are afraid that the guns at the show make them less safe? NO!!

valthemus December 21, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Whew! I was so worried LaPierre would say something rational. Crisis averted!

Sassomatic December 21, 2012 at 1:53 pm

How about a national registry bullies. If you've ever beat up another kid in school or hit someone without provocation, or been guilty even of vocal harassment, no guns for you. That would probably take a shitload of guns out of circulation, now wouldn't it?

comrad_darkness December 21, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Why does this whole thing feel like hostage negotiations? Where we and our skin and blood are the hostages?

BartStarrland December 21, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Now they're just fucking with us.

GeorgiaMike December 21, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Back when the Brady Bill was being passed in the 1990s, some NRA members on a wingnut website opined that it would be a good thing and indeed merciful if someone were to put Sarah Brady down. Sort of like a suffering dog or a horse with a broken leg.

I certainly do not feel the same way about Wayne LaPierre. When his time comes, I would like for it to be very prolonged and very painful.

Bartleby64 December 21, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Let's put Australia's gun laws up against Wayne La Pierre's little plan.

awwalk56 December 21, 2012 at 2:43 pm

I think lapierre forgot to mention the car the kid drove to the school. You know put this on Obama for the auto bailout. Without the bailout there might not have been a car to transport the kid and guns!

ElPinche December 21, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Wayne LaPierre should follow Bud Dwyer in his footsteps…manila envelope and all.

carlgt1 December 21, 2012 at 2:44 pm

The problem with this is that in 132,656 K-12 schools in the US, you know you'd end up with about 50,000 George Zimmerman's as "armed guards." Hence probably an extra 1000 dead kids a year who was "heading straight for him" and had to be shot. Also figure at $100K at least for salary & benefits a year, that's $13 billion a year — from RepugliKKKans who have been screeching about "expensive" schools & DEA & teachers & unions for decades etc? So obviously we'd lose 2-3 teachers for every armed hick, to the detriment of our already stupid populace…..

LibrarianX December 21, 2012 at 2:45 pm

"Columbine High School had an armed deputy"
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/12/17/1171099/

SuspectedDemocrat December 21, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Sorry, I didn't read any further than the headline, "NRA LITERALLY BLOWS"

I agree 100%

comrad_darkness December 21, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Recruiting volunteers to work with children would be an excellent way to trap pedobear.

oenspiek December 21, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Heavily armed pedobear!!

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