Add to Flipboard Magazine.

dead man sobbingPerhaps you have just watched John Boehner manage to stop himself from weeping through his press conference outlining where we go now, after yesterday’s ceremonial Shitting of the Bed. And you noticed (after of course noticing the ease with which he told fat lies like he was Mitt Romney in orangeface, again) that he mentioned several times that the inability to come to an agreement with the president and the senate is not the fault of House Republicans, because they passed a bill to replace the sequester back in August. Let us remind ourselves of what this comprised.

Here is Kris Benson, girlsplainer, at the time:

[T]he Republicans who agreed to a debt deal (to be put off into the Future, which is Now) would like to rewrite it so that the half of the automatic spending cuts that they care about (i.e. high class escorts for all military contractors) miraculously do not go into effect. Because Barack Obama refuses to compromise, obviously.

One year after Congress approved a controversial plan to extend the nation’s debt ceiling, Republicans are stepping up their campaign to repeal a major part of the law. They’re worried about a part of the measure called “sequester,” a requirement that spending for some federal government programs be slashed starting in 2013 once a “supercommittee” of Congress failed to compromise on $1 trillion in deficit reductions last fall. The law requires that more than $100 billion be sequestered — or automatically cut — in January.

GOP officeholders and candidates, however, aren’t worried about all the automatic reductions. They’re concerned that more than $50 billion in cuts will come from the Defense Department, saying that will threaten national security and tens of thousands of defense-related private-sector jobs. They’re pushing to rewrite that part of the law.

The rest of the cuts that would deprive 700,000 young children of nutrition assistance, 100,000 kids of Head Start, and the 25,000 teachers and aides of their jobs — well, we have to make Sacrifices, you guys. And by “we” we mean you, specifically, unless you work for a defense contractor or the highest echelons of the federal government, in which case you’re in good shape.

Remember, being a Republican means never having to live up to your end of the bargain, because compromising is for losers.

Cool cool, thank you August 6 Kris Benson! Let us always remember that the House GOP, who are one half of one half one branch of government, are the ones who never have to compromise a single one of their “principles” (tax cuts for millionaires) because the American people are completely behind them.

Previous articleYour Big Fat Wonkette Guide To The 'Plan B' Fiscal Cliff Nonsense Tornado
Next articleNRA Literally Blows Nation's Head Off; Midwest Has Sucking Chest Wound