Wingnuts Furious At Jews, Jon Stewart, For Killing Christmas, Doing Newtown Massacre

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Sugartits or GTFOExcuse me, Jews, but how have you killed Christ/Christmas/little first graders today? Let us start with Burt Prelutsky, who apparently has written for the Timeses New York and Los Angeles, and yet now, sadly, is stuck writing about his fellow Jewishes killing Christmas in his marvelous journey “The Jewish Grinch Who Stole Christmas,” at WND.

Blah blah blah, Mel Gibson, It’s A Wonderful Life, assimilation

But the dirty little secret in America is that in spite of the occasional over-publicized rants by the likes of Mel Gibson and Michael Richards, anti-Semitism is no longer a problem in society; it’s been replaced by a rampant anti-Christianity. For example, much of the hatred spewed towards George W. Bush had far less to do with his policies than it did with his religion. As you may have noticed, they haven’t called Barack Obama any bad names even though he’s kept Gitmo open, extended the Patriot Act and even used drones to kill American citizens. Could it be because they understand that he only attended church in order to get his political career off the ground?

These Jewish bigots voiced no concern when Bill Clinton or John Kerry made a big production out of showing up at black Baptist churches or posing with Rev. Jesse Jackson because, again, they understand that’s just politics. They only object to politicians attending church for religious reasons.

But what does going to black church have to do with killing Christmas? Well, because “ACLU”!

You may have noticed, though, that the ACLU is highly selective when it comes to religious intolerance. The same group of self-righteous shysters who, at the drop of a “Merry Christmas” will slap you with an injunction, will fight for the right of an American Indian to ingest peyote and a devout Islamic woman to appear veiled on her driver’s license.

I happen to despise bullies and bigots. I hate them when they represent the majority, but no less when, like too many Jews in America, they represent an infinitesimal minority.

I am getting the idea that these self-righteous secular Jews won’t be happy until they pull off their own version of the Spanish Inquisition, forcing Christians to either deny their faith and convert to agnosticism or suffer the consequences.

Also, something about the Santa Monica creche on public lands, and Rhode Island’s (HORRORS!) “holiday tree.” We don’t know, you could try to read it?

But the Jewish Grinch killing Christmas is only the beginning, as Joel Rosenberg picks up where Burt Prelutsky leaves off: Jon Stewart, known Jew, killed the children in Newtown.

The answer is as painful as it is simple: the further we turn away from God in our nation — the further we drive Him out of our society, out of our schools and courts, and out of our media, and out of our homes; or the more we give mere lip service to religion; the more men are ”holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power” (2 Timothy 3:5) — the worse things are getting. Consider just the cultural war against Jesus and Christmas that has been waged just in the last few days:

Fox News headline: “Holiday message: Atheists dub Jesus a ‘myth’ on Times Square billboard”
CNN column, “Have yourself a merry atheist Christmas“
AP article about the “War on Christmas”
Fox News story about a rapper singing about a “Gangbanger Jesus”
KTVA-TV (Alaska) story: “Atheists Wage War on Christmas in Anchorage: Anti-religion signs on People Mover buses”
Comedy Central’s Jon Stewart wages war on Christmas and mocks those who thinks he’s wrong [caution: obscene language]

WONKETTE WAR ON CHRISTMAS LIBEL! We guess Stewart’s was pretty good though. You can watch it over at Mediaite; Comedy Central’s Web 1.0 player fucks up our page.

[WND via LittleGreenFootballs / RightWingWatch]

 
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{ 256 comments }

OzoneTom December 20, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Happy Festivus Mr. Prelutsky!

Oblios_Cap December 20, 2012 at 12:12 pm

Today must be time for the "Airing of Grievances"

Oblios_Cap December 20, 2012 at 12:10 pm

Obviously the Jews hate Xmas because of that Aryan warrior, Jesus.

actor212 December 20, 2012 at 12:14 pm

Such nice blue eyes and blond hair.

Oblios_Cap December 20, 2012 at 12:16 pm

"The boy next door. He was quiet, and kept to himself a lot."

actor212 December 20, 2012 at 12:26 pm

He was great at cleaning the pool, too. Always walking across it to get that one leaf.

mrpuma2u December 20, 2012 at 12:32 pm

Yeah, why aren't their pictures of jeebus looking like Yassir Arafat or Shimon Peres???? Omar Sharif if you need a fetching Semitic, but yeesh, that blond haired crap always threw me.

doloras December 20, 2012 at 6:29 pm

No lie, there used to be a school of thought that people from Galilee were actually Aryans who'd gotten lost somehow, and that therefore Jesus weren't no hook-nosed Red Sea Pedestrian. This was a very popular argument in, say, 1930s Germany.

freakishlywrong December 20, 2012 at 12:11 pm

So our Holy War is going to be against the hypocritical members of this twisted version of Christianity and the rest of us? Bring it, bitches.

edgydrifter December 20, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Christianity: Milking Persecution for 2,000 Years

AngryBlakGuy December 20, 2012 at 12:39 pm

…that would be the equivalent of Juan Marquez FIST being persecuted by Manny Pacquiap's face in the 6th round!!!

Respitetini December 20, 2012 at 4:07 pm

To be fair, the first 400 or so years, it was pretty accurate. After that, though…

ButthurtWingers2012 December 21, 2012 at 12:50 am

Up until Constantine institutionalized it (and rubbed out other sects which didn't believe Jesus was divine) Christians were more or less persecuted. The worst part is that these douchenozzles have absolutely no concept of actual religious persecution…these guys are just a bunch of whiney pussies…I can't really snark this, they annoy me too much.

gullywompr December 20, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Nobody expects the Jewish Inquisition!

Except maybe Editrix, who knew that one of her commenters would say it. Thanks for the setup, Sugartits.

ButthurtWingers2012 December 21, 2012 at 12:52 am

Yeah…I was going to make a joke about calling editrix sugartits for being Jewish but she thought of everything with the nutter himself. Damn you……uh….uh….sugartits!

CindynEncinitas December 21, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Sugartits the Iconoclast, Queen of All Snarktopia!

johnnyzhivago December 20, 2012 at 12:12 pm

The root of all this evil is Spongebob Squarepants. Ever see Spongbob put up a Christmas tree? Ever see Spongebob paraphernalia NOT around the site of a mass shooting?

I rest my case.

Ruhe December 20, 2012 at 12:21 pm

"F is for fire that burns up the whole town…
U is for Uranium…bombs…
N is for no survivors!…"

Oblios_Cap December 20, 2012 at 12:12 pm

So Atheists = Jews per Mr. Prelutsky?

No one could accuse the WND of being a magazine for thinking people.

StillGoinGreen December 20, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Holy Shit! I need a menorah and I need it STAT!! The yamaka… meh, not so much.

gullywompr December 20, 2012 at 12:55 pm

I think you're trying to say "yarmulke", but it's cool, I had a lot of trouble spelling that word myself.

BaldarTFlagass December 20, 2012 at 1:04 pm

I wonder if Jesus ever experienced any anxiety when he had to nail his mezuzah to the doorframe.

starfanglednut December 20, 2012 at 10:30 pm

Ha!

StillGoinGreen December 20, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Since I am an atheist and a newly minted Jew, it will take me some time to get the Yiddish down. However, I did research several jewish websites and here is what I found:

"Yamaka is the Yiddish name for the skullcap or kippah (a round piece of cloth) worn by many Jews all the time, and all male Jews (and visiting non-Jews) at Jewish holy sites. The word Yamaka is derived from the Aramaic “yira malka” which means the awe of the king. The Hebrew name for head covering, kippah, in simple terms means dome. Other Yiddish terms for Yamaka include: yarmlke, yarmulke, yarmulka, yarmelke ( ???????). Orthodox Jews will wear a Yamaka all the time to fulfill the customary requirement for their head to be covered at all times out of respect for God. Some women also wear them in certain conservative communities at times of prayer."

gullywompr December 20, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Ah, you married into the tribe too? Mazel tov!

finallyhappy December 20, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Yup, I always wear a kippah when I pray and a tallit(prayer shawl). I know a number of conservative Jewish men who wear kippahs all the time but I only wear mine during prayer- yes, I am a woman. Odd that in my synagogue, we ask even non-Jewish men to cover their heads but not women- and many women in my synagogue do not cover their heads

doloras December 20, 2012 at 6:32 pm

Yiddish is a great language. I admire the Jews who are keeping Yiddish culture going, in opposition to the Zionists who consider it a "ghetto language" and that every Jew should speak Hebrew.

calliecallie December 20, 2012 at 12:12 pm

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

Estproph December 20, 2012 at 12:13 pm

I thought the Mayans were planning on killing everything after tomorrow anyway. Why is Christmas special?

Native_of_SL_UT December 20, 2012 at 12:13 pm

No fair! We at Wonkette on the front lines of this vicious assault and they never mention us.

gullywompr December 20, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Now, now… we're in it for the cause, not the glory.

WIDTAP December 20, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Maybe you, pal, but some of still need the p-points.

actor212 December 20, 2012 at 12:13 pm

For example, much of the hatred spewed towards George W. Bush had far less to do with his policies than it did with his religion.

Whoa. Even for Prelutsky, this is weapons-grade stoopid.

Errrr, um, Burt? Considering many of his policies were based on his religion and his intolerance of a certain other religion, can we safely say that it wasn't too wrong to point that out about W?

Lascauxcaveman December 20, 2012 at 12:31 pm

He did like to use the word "crusade" a lot, until his handlers told him it wasn't being helpful.

AngryBlakGuy December 20, 2012 at 12:44 pm

…under what religious edict does treating the economy like a cheap whore, invading a country that has a little over negative 100% to do with 911 and allowing one of the largest cities in the country to drown under hurricane Katrina, have to do with his religious convictions?!?!?

WIDTAP December 20, 2012 at 12:56 pm

The same one that tells these guys that they are the Chosen Ones – and yet another reason to hate the Jews for taking the moniker that by God-given rights (read cash) belongs to the Christian fundamentalists.

tabouley December 20, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Well, he did state that gourd told him to invade Iraq. Most Presidents take responsibility for actions of that sort, Bush palmed it off on someone else.
That was reason enough to hate him, but there are other things to despise him for, if you need them.

fatbob54 December 20, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Dubya did say his favorite philosopher was Jesus H. Christ, for Christ's sake. I mean Jesus, how stoopid do you have to be?

And while we're on the topic, why should you never play hide and seek with Jesus?

He peeks through the holes in his hands.

Oblios_Cap December 20, 2012 at 12:13 pm

I happen to despise bullies and bigots. I hate them…

Nothing screams tolerance like "hate"!

Native_of_SL_UT December 20, 2012 at 12:17 pm

Liberal self-haters become comedians.
Conservative self-haters become spokesmen.

BaldarTFlagass December 20, 2012 at 12:14 pm

I know this has been asked before, but if Jesus was a Jew, how come he's got a wetback name?

Oblios_Cap December 20, 2012 at 12:18 pm

He was a Texas Jewboy…

HarryButtle December 20, 2012 at 12:25 pm

So, that would make him a lot like Kinky Friedman…

FNMA December 20, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Like the Kinkster once observed, They don't make Jews like Jesus anymore.

doloras December 20, 2012 at 6:40 pm

They don't turn out carpenters who know what nails are for.

rickmaci December 20, 2012 at 2:12 pm

It'll happen if you have a mama named Maria and a papi named Jose.

BigSkullF*ckingDog December 20, 2012 at 12:14 pm

I plan on celebrating the birth of "our lord" by wearing my "I pound beers for Jesus" tshirt to the most crazy fundy church that I can find. And then maybe to the mormon one as well.

actor212 December 20, 2012 at 12:23 pm

Oh, I was going to pay "Virgin" Mary to pretend that I helped her see the errors of her way, then baptise her and help her see God, at least four or five times in my ear.

She likes big tips, too, so I got the present part covered as well.

mormos December 20, 2012 at 12:37 pm

same place bro

AngryBlakGuy December 20, 2012 at 12:47 pm

…make sure that you flirt with the Fundy Church Pastors daughters. Because 9 times out of 10, they are the biggest whores in town! Just a word of advice, from someone who has been excommunicated(twice).

BigSkullF*ckingDog December 20, 2012 at 12:54 pm

I once converted a Mormon to homosexuality. I rank that achievement in the top three in my life.

Chet Kincaid_ December 20, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Will you be bottomless as usual?

BigSkullF*ckingDog December 20, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Oh Chet, you know me so well.

Not_So_Much December 20, 2012 at 12:16 pm

The president is going to be super glad to hear that nobody has ever called him bad names!

Estproph December 20, 2012 at 12:50 pm

It's not that they never called him bad names, it's that, to WND, the names they called Obama weren't bad.

Hammiepants December 20, 2012 at 12:16 pm

So I guess this is the Airing of the Grievances with this guy? My money is on Stewart if it comes to the Feats of Strength.

WIDTAP December 20, 2012 at 12:59 pm

For all of his spite for the Jews,how could he pass up Festivus?

Oblios_Cap December 20, 2012 at 12:16 pm

I'm actually buying my wife a St. Chris medal to replace one that she lost. It's cool, since the church de-canonized the poor fellow.

Lascauxcaveman December 20, 2012 at 12:36 pm

You should get her a St Clare statuette to put next to her flatscreen teevee, too.

C'mon, it's Xmas, after all.

BaldarTFlagass December 20, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Get her a St Anthony medal too, since he's the saint of lost things.

CrunchyKnee December 20, 2012 at 12:16 pm

Bah humbug.

BadKitty904 December 20, 2012 at 12:16 pm

The Wingnuts won't be happy 'til *every* Christmas is a "white" Christmas…
<a href="http://www.calvin.edu/academic/cas/gpa/images/weihnacht1…” target=”_blank”>www.calvin.edu/academic/cas/gpa/images/weihnacht1…

mormos December 20, 2012 at 12:16 pm

There is no racism in this country. Get with the pogrom people!

One_who_wanders December 20, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Very nice.

gullywompr December 20, 2012 at 12:17 pm

"As you may have noticed, they haven’t called Barack Obama any bad names"

Funny, now that you mention it, I can't recall anyone, ever, calling him anything bad at all…

HarryButtle December 20, 2012 at 12:27 pm

They just seem to make an awful racket because he's a NEAR

BadKitty904 December 20, 2012 at 12:27 pm

True. Every single American has shown due "respect for the office of the President"…

under_score December 20, 2012 at 12:17 pm

"You may have noticed, though, that the ACLU is highly selective when it comes to religious intolerance."

Why, no. No, in fact, I did *not* notice that
http://www.aclu.org/aclu-defense-religious-practi

Facts, who needs 'em, when you've got opinions that everyone knows are true.

Chet Kincaid_ December 20, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Thank you, that paragraph smelled very strongly of the guy's own ass.

docterry6973 December 20, 2012 at 1:15 pm

The Right seems unable to see the difference between the government forcing people to practice your religion (ACLU opposes) and forcing people to stop practicing their own religion (ACLU opposes).

It seems clear to me, unless someone thinks it is right for the government to impose your religion and right for the government to block my religion. Oh, wait.

Negropolis December 21, 2012 at 2:56 am

The ACLU has done a lot of shit I don't instinctively like, so that sentence did strike me as insane.

Ruhe December 20, 2012 at 12:17 pm

So God let the children die because He's not allowed in public schools? Christians, please repeat that question to yourselves slowly until your heads explode. Look, I'm only parsing the terms as you yourselves have defined them: either God is an infinitely potent creator who seems generally uninterested in everything that's going on here in His creation or He is, as Jed Bartlett put it, a feckless thug.

miss_grundy December 20, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Huckabee is an asshole to say that the children died because you don't have prayers in public school. And of course no one in the media told him off by saying that there are kids from every religion attending public schools and while prayers aren't said out loud, it doesn't stop anyone from saying a silent one or having a moment of meditation. No, what killed those kids are assholes like Huckabee who want to tie themselves to their guns and can't understand that the only thing a gun does is exacerbate any situation that it is in. Someone cuts you off in traffic? Shot him/her. Someone takes the parking space you wanted at the mall? Shoot him/her. Someone walking in your neighborhood who isn't your skin color carrying an Arizona Iced Tea bottle and a pack of Skittles? Shoot! Why doesn't the media have the balls to point this out to this jerk? I guess we'll have to let Jon Stewart lecture this guy.

sewollef December 20, 2012 at 1:12 pm

CoTD. Well put, miss g.

viennawoods13 December 20, 2012 at 6:15 pm

Yeah, ordinarily I'd count on Jon to call out the assholes, but of course he's off until after the New Year.

Tommmcatt_Again December 20, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Not to get all apologisty, but there is a third option. God could be all good, but not all powerful. He might be bound to laws he put in place. He may even be able to change and grow, like the beings he created – so the old logic puzzle "Can God make a rock he cannot lift" might be answered by "yes- he would make the rock them learn to lift it".

Not that I support any of the hogwash from the right- in fact, they'd consider the ideas I just put forth heretical, particularly the idea that God can change and grow. Just thought I'd demonstrate that some of us faithful are capable of nuance.

Lascauxcaveman December 20, 2012 at 2:01 pm

My theory is that He is old. REAL old and more than just a little bit senile…

doloras December 20, 2012 at 6:45 pm

Or how about this – God DELIBERATELY lets humans do horrible things to one another because that's the only way they'll learn that actions have consequences.

Radiotherapy December 20, 2012 at 12:17 pm

Have a Merry Kwanza everybody.

Giveusabob December 20, 2012 at 12:33 pm

And a joyeux Hannukwanzmas por ti, tambien. Mazel tov.

vulpes82 December 20, 2012 at 12:38 pm

And an Io, Saturnalia to you, Dominus!

Botlrokit December 20, 2012 at 12:17 pm

He's got the entirety of John Hagee's church just a-fappin', thanks to his +3 Stick of Shit-stirring.

BaldarTFlagass December 20, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Them "Jews For Jesus" are even crazier than the "Christians for Jesus."

Lascauxcaveman December 20, 2012 at 12:43 pm

It's the self-loathing that does it. Just check out any conservative queer.

BigSkullF*ckingDog December 20, 2012 at 12:18 pm

I could not have cared less what W's religion was. I hated him because he was a stupid idiot.

Lizzietish81 December 20, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Actually he makes me and my sister clarify that we were raised by United Methodists instead of just Methodists, because Bush is a Methodist, but not a United Methodist.

Our church was also run by hippies, it was awesome.

hagajim December 20, 2012 at 12:18 pm

The sheer amount of hatred and self-loathing in these wingnuts must just be fucking exhausting. If they aren't as angry about every-fucking-thing as they appear, then it must take a tremendous amount of energy to froth themselves up into raging maniacal anger bears about something they really aren't angry about. Shit, just the thought of spending so much time raging has me exhausted. Take a fucking vacation wingnuts – and please, please, please stop with the War on Christmas bullshit. Thank you.

Oblios_Cap December 20, 2012 at 12:22 pm

I vaguely recall something about "turning the other cheek" that is a part of their "faith". I'm not sure anyof them knows what that means, though.

freakishlywrong December 20, 2012 at 12:40 pm

They exhaust the living shit outta me.

SorosBot December 20, 2012 at 12:19 pm

"The same group of self-righteous shysters who, at the drop of a “Merry Christmas” will slap you with an injunction"

This has never happened, no one has ever filed a lawsuit over someone saying "Marry Christmas", in fact non-Christians have never complained about anyone saying that, you just make that shit up. Liar.

LibrarianX December 20, 2012 at 12:35 pm

I'd like to hear more about THE WAR AGAINST STRAW MEN.

zippy_w_pinhead December 20, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Ray Bolger libel!1!

Chet Kincaid_ December 20, 2012 at 12:59 pm

That column is so idiotic, especially coming from a Jew, that I wonder if there is some possibility that WND was punked. Prelutsky's bio does say that he has been a "humor columnist." I can't believe he used "shyster", also!

freakishlywrong December 20, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Wait, how is this Jon Stewart's fault again? These assholes have logic as limber as Olympian gymnasts.

FakaktaSouth December 20, 2012 at 12:19 pm

"I happen to despise bullies and bigots."

I just really enjoy behaving as one, as I tell you how fake the black guys are at their fake religioning and how GEORGE W BUSH's "religion" (spare me) never informed the shitty ass policies he himself called faith based initiatives and that he was always bragging about.

Trust me, I know exactly why I hated W.

prommie December 20, 2012 at 12:30 pm

There's nothing else quite like a Connecticut preppie yalie ex-drunk turned born again!

FakaktaSouth December 20, 2012 at 12:33 pm

"ex-drunk" – so says you. and fuck that guy – his 20million fundies against the gays, hell, that's a two-fer, no? I can hate his "religion" AND his "policy" that never was, after Dick's daughter had to be considered a "person" too.

Chet Kincaid_ December 20, 2012 at 1:04 pm

A Connecticut Yankee In King Cheney's Court

actor212 December 20, 2012 at 12:19 pm

fight for the right of an American Indian to ingest peyote

Wait. What? Why is Prelutsky only giving us half the story? Like, an address, at least!

Goonemeritus December 20, 2012 at 12:20 pm

I personally won’t be satisfied until every nativity scene is replaced with a diorama depicting the evils of Capitalism and every Christmas tree is replaced with a state approved statue of Lenin.

Lascauxcaveman December 20, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Welcome to the Soviet of Warshingon, Comrade!

(Yes, we really are just that much cooler than the rest of the country.)

docterry6973 December 20, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Lenin or Stalin. Either way.

sewollef December 20, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Speaking as a lapsed Trotskyist [!] personally, I would go for Rosa Luxemburg in preference to Mr Lenin. She sounded my kind of girl.

DocChaos December 20, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Lenin, Marx and Engels following the red star to bring Baby Stalin gifts in cobbler shop.

doloras December 20, 2012 at 6:47 pm

Every Christmas eve, good little red-diaper babies are visited by Comrade Lenin who gives them the gift of FURIOUS IDEOLOGICAL POLEMIC.

SayItWithWookies December 20, 2012 at 12:20 pm

Those Jews and Muslims — they always stick together.

Chet Kincaid_ December 20, 2012 at 1:07 pm
SayItWithWookies December 20, 2012 at 1:25 pm

That's hilarious — Felix Unger and Oscar Madison had nothing on those two.

Tequila Mockingbird December 20, 2012 at 12:20 pm

As you may have noticed, they haven’t called Barack Obama any bad names

Srsly? Was this a grand exercise in irony, or have these wingnuts never been outside?

BaldarTFlagass December 20, 2012 at 12:26 pm

I guess they don't consider "nigger" that bad of a name. Oh, they're talking about us liberals.

SexySmurf December 20, 2012 at 12:20 pm

When did Michael Richards go on an anti-Semitic rant? And to think, Jerry Seinfeld was nice enough to switch apartments with him after Kenny Rogers Roasters put up that neon sign.

calliecallie December 20, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Yes, I thought Michael Richards rant was about the blahs. Oh, I see what they did there.

Botlrokit December 20, 2012 at 12:21 pm

You know who else hated the Jews because they were all shouty?

Lizzietish81 December 20, 2012 at 12:24 pm

Pontius Pilot?

BaldarTFlagass December 20, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Czar Nicholas II?

mrpuma2u December 20, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Augustus Caesar?

Oblios_Cap December 20, 2012 at 12:27 pm

Josef Stalin?

SorosBot December 20, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Nah, Augustus was fine with them; it was Caligula who really started the problems between the occupying Romans and the Jews.

Ruhe December 20, 2012 at 12:32 pm

Incontinentia Buttocks?

Lascauxcaveman December 20, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Their Italian neighbors on the lower east side?

(No, wait. Those guys were even shoutier.)

Theywontlisten December 20, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Bigust Dickust?

Rebootably_Joe December 20, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Their children?

Chet Kincaid_ December 20, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Nixon?

rickmaci December 20, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Shakespeare?

Lizzietish81 December 20, 2012 at 2:21 pm
DahBoner December 20, 2012 at 12:21 pm

And the answer is "What do you get when you combine Toddlers and Tierras with Jackass?"

BlueMonkeh December 20, 2012 at 12:33 pm

i would seriously watch that

freakishlywrong December 20, 2012 at 12:41 pm

Honey Boo-Boo?

Theywontlisten December 20, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Saturday Nights at my cousin's house

BaldarTFlagass December 20, 2012 at 12:21 pm

Of course the Jews are trying to destroy Christmas. They were traumatized as kids when the goyim kid down the street got a new bike, and there they are, playing with a fucking dreidel.

Oblios_Cap December 20, 2012 at 12:24 pm

Hannakah gelt only goes fo far…

vulpes82 December 20, 2012 at 12:40 pm

And socks!

Lizzietish81 December 20, 2012 at 12:21 pm

Wait, if he's Jewish why is he spelling "God" and not "G-d"?

Botlrokit December 20, 2012 at 12:29 pm

I thought that was an atheist thing. That's Jewish?

Lizzietish81 December 20, 2012 at 12:30 pm

Yeah, Jews do not speak or spell God out of reverence for Him.

finallyhappy December 20, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Yeah, but God isn't his/her/their name- that's some English thing. I always thought it was funny that non-Jews think Yahweh is God's name because they think that is how to pronounce the placeholder word we have in Hebrew. The words we do say mean Lord(but it it also used for a human honorific), God- but that is the same word for pagan gods and there are some others but none are God's name because we don't know it(ok- I'll tell you the secret- It's Barry)

Stevola December 20, 2012 at 1:57 pm

I thought the point of saying the generic "God" was so we people wouldn't say "Jehovah"

(*ducks stone*)

doloras December 20, 2012 at 6:48 pm

Or even YHWH?

BadKitty904 December 20, 2012 at 12:22 pm

"much of the hatred spewed towards George W. Bush had far less to do with his policies than it did with his religion"

No, it's pretty obvious to those of us who are reality-based that most of the hatred spewed at Dubya was entirely due to his cretinous policies.

SorosBot December 20, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Dude, first off, what can you read people's minds or something? Where do you get off claiming that Obama and Clinton only attend church for political reasons, while Bush is all sincere about it?

Second, as an atheist I have no issues with Bush's religion, or that of any other politician. What I have a problem with is politicians, like Bush, who try to force their religion on the rest of us. That's not hating them for their religion, but for what they actually do.

BadKitty904 December 20, 2012 at 12:31 pm

"Where do you get off claiming that Obama and Clinton only attend church for political reasons, while Bush is all sincere about it?"

It's obvious – he's paid by the word, not by the fact.

red_kira December 20, 2012 at 12:22 pm

I blame Jebus. Think about it.

Botlrokit December 20, 2012 at 12:35 pm

No, blame Saul of Tarsus, and his goddamn moment of clarity. Had it not been for him, Jesus' fifteen minutes would have been over like paper in fire.

An_Outhouse December 20, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Its always a Jew's fault.

Lascauxcaveman December 20, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Burt Prelutsky is a putz.

prommie December 20, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Will no one come up with a solution to this problem? If only there were some kind of final solution. . . .

southernboyman December 20, 2012 at 12:25 pm

It always comes down to "Who's your mama" doesn't it?

Lizzietish81 December 20, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Btw everyone, happy Pancha Ganapati
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pancha_Ganapati

sewollef December 20, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Thank you. You know that Ganesha is nothing more than a naked elephant in a dress dancing to old hippy tunes, right?

I like him a lot.

Chet Kincaid_ December 20, 2012 at 1:11 pm

I hope that doesn't mean I have to display that swastika in the right column.

An_Outhouse December 20, 2012 at 12:28 pm

I haven't received the Wonkette mug I ordered for a Christmas present yet. Tell your Jews to work faster and get that thing shipped, pronto.

seppdecker December 20, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Cautioning WND readers to "obscene language" is like going into a Wal-Mart-housed McDonald's and telling the customers to order their Angus burger without the cheese. Lost fucking cause.

BaldarTFlagass December 20, 2012 at 12:44 pm

"Wal-Mart-housed McDonald's"

I think the term is "embedded"?

mrpuma2u December 20, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Yeah war on XMAS blah blah, I work in downtown Chicago and to paraphrase Mr. Stewart, it looks like Santa's Reindeer barfed all over State street.

Theywontlisten December 20, 2012 at 1:03 pm

I was there last night…what a fuckin site to not behold if you can

Lizzietish81 December 20, 2012 at 1:09 pm

He said another time about Times Square "looking like Santa's Balls exploded"

I love Jon Stewart.

Ruhe December 20, 2012 at 12:29 pm

"As you may have noticed…" "You may have noticed…"

All these rhetorical tropes meant to flatter your audience, to congratulate them for already having had the insights that you, a professional writer, have had. "Why yes, Burt, you're right…I did notice that…" Well aren't you smart. It's too close to a compliment to refer to this sort of bull-shit stroke-fest as a "rant" or "screed". It's xtian porn of the hand-job variety.

prommie December 20, 2012 at 12:57 pm

There is a lot to be said for a good old-fashioned hand job. Its almost a lost art, with the kids these days progressing straight on to the blowjobs and assfucking and rainbow parties and jenkem huffing before they are out of 6th grade these days. There is a sorta like a Norman Rockwell nostalgic feel to getting a handjob.

BaldarTFlagass December 20, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Don't forget the tongue-punching of the fartbox.

prommie December 20, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Bow in Chet's direction when you say that, pardner.

BaldarTFlagass December 20, 2012 at 1:31 pm

How do you know I didn't?

Chet Kincaid_ December 20, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Why, everyone has seen Rockwell's classic Saturday Evening Post cover, "Trudy At Bat With Biff At Third Base"!

prommie December 20, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Sigh. It was a simpler, more innocent time.

Chet Kincaid_ December 20, 2012 at 1:54 pm

As I recall, the painting involves a couch, groping teenage hands, and an 8 year old little brother leering over the back of the couch using a hairbrush as a radio announcer's microphone, to Biff & Trudy's consternation.

MissTaken December 20, 2012 at 12:29 pm

I happen to despise bullies and bigots.

It must be tough to go through life hating yourself.

SorosBot December 20, 2012 at 12:52 pm

And if that's true, than what the fuck is he doing writing for the ultra-racist WorldNetDaily?

redarmyzombie December 20, 2012 at 11:57 pm

I'm sure there's a self-hating Jew gag around here somewhere…

Negropolis December 21, 2012 at 3:04 am

Well, he is a Jew.

arihaya December 20, 2012 at 12:29 pm

Thank God !

Some of us miss those good ole Jew-hating wingnuts since they started giving too much attentions to gays, unions, poors, women, Muslims, Left coast liberals, weed smokers, and Bo the Dog.

finallyhappy December 20, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Did I post the Bo Christmas video or maybe Rebecca did?- I love my Bo.

ManchuCandidate December 20, 2012 at 12:29 pm

Twas the night before Christmas, when all on the news
Not a liebrul was stirring, except those darn Jews.
The strawmen were tucked into the article with care,
In hopes that US Amercia Jeebus soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of low taxes danced in their heads.
And mamma in her ‘Snuggie, and I sobbingly fap,
Had just settled our fat asses for a post dinner nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

ManchuCandidate December 20, 2012 at 12:36 pm

The moon on the remains of the non existent snow
Gave the smear of cow shit to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But the Mad Max Interceptor, and clatter from bottles of beer.

Driven by a crazy old fucker, so smashed and sick,
I knew in a moment it must be Mel Gibson, that prick.
More rapid insults than Sugar Tits they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Jew! now, K word! now, N words and Sand N words!
On, Chinks! On, Commie fucks! on, on Liebruls and Kenyans!
To the bottom of the ditch! off the side of the wall!
Now crash away! crash away! crash away all!"

ManchuCandidate December 20, 2012 at 12:42 pm

As dry heaves that before the wild beer vomit fly,
When he meets with a pedestrian, who bounces off and dies.
So up to the drive way the drunkard he flew,
With the car full of guns, and bottles of beer too.

And then, for a moment, I thought it was a goof
The shrieking and yelling about all those poofs.
As I pulled out my gun, and was turning around,
Through the window Mel Gibson came with a bound.

He was dressed all in camo, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ciggy ashes and soot.
A bundle of guns he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a intruder, just ready to shoot back.

ManchuCandidate December 20, 2012 at 12:55 pm

His face-how so wrinkled! his bitter mind so crazy!
His thoughts were like turds, his insults was so lazy!
The cig in his mouth was dangling just so low,
And the drool from his chin was as white as the snow.

The butt of his smoke he held tight in his teeth,
And the crazy just encircled his head like a wreath.
He had an old man's face and was quite loud and yelly,
The thoughts he when he thought, were quite racist and smelly!

He was ranting and nuts, a right winger's true self,
And I cheered when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A shot from his gun and a thump to my head,
Soon let me know I had everything to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And shit in all the stockings, went to the corner for a jerk.
And after fucking up the room, the stench hit my nose,
And giving me the bird, out the door he goes!

He ran to his car, drank six beers to wet his whistle,
And away the cans flew as he drove over the thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Fuck you non Christians!, I'm gonna fuck Sugar Tits all night!"

As I lay bleeding and the darkness grew.
I yelled at him, "But I not a Jew!"

BaldarTFlagass December 20, 2012 at 12:58 pm

A strong case for Manchu's induction into the Wonkette Hall of Fame, if there were one, could be made on the strength of this post alone.

SoBeach December 20, 2012 at 12:30 pm

Somebody needs to give that guy a hug.

LibrarianX December 20, 2012 at 12:30 pm

Those poor Christians. Would some money make them feel a little better?

Blueb4sinrise December 20, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Heh, was just sent this news ………….

$500 million in [bad] checks left at Jerusalem holy site
http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/M/ML_ODD_ISR

vulpes82 December 20, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Tax cuts. That's always the right gift for the Mammonite "Christian" into WND.

JustPixelz December 20, 2012 at 12:31 pm

"…much of the hatred spewed towards George W. Bush had far less to do with his policies than it did with his religion"

For the record I hated his policies. (Still do!) And I hated that he used his religion to justify those policies. In America the power of the king does not come from God.

BlueMonkeh December 20, 2012 at 12:35 pm

god sure is a wussy. can't take any criticism, lashes out and kills innocent kids because attention is not being paid…sounds like a real jerk.

sullivanst December 20, 2012 at 12:35 pm

We don’t know, you could try to read it?

Nice try Becca, but coming so close to mention of the Inquisition, your attempt to lure us into torture is doomed to fail!

Chet Kincaid_ December 20, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Just, wow.

bikerlaureate December 20, 2012 at 12:36 pm

I happen to despise bullies and bigots.

This, among the many easily disproven sentences here, most leads me to wonder if he was attempting satire.

Callyson December 20, 2012 at 12:37 pm

Was any of this crap supposed to make sense, or am I hungover?

Wadisay December 20, 2012 at 12:37 pm

WND should come up with a final solution to this Jew problem.

Beowoof December 20, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Careful they're working on it.

barto December 20, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Yup, I was AOK with George starting two unnecessary wars – then I found out he was a fucking Christian. BASTARD!

not that Dewey December 20, 2012 at 12:39 pm
Rotundo_ December 20, 2012 at 12:40 pm

If Christmas were a *real* holiday, rather than a co-opted collection of various pagan winter solstice traditions, and if christians ever read the book they clutch and realized that it didn't happen in winter, let alone in December, there might be some reason to get all up in peoples faces for not respecting the holiday. The only reason there is a Christmas is that the early christians realized that nobody was going to stop getting loaded and feasting on the solstice and decided to just give up and go with it. If the wingers put as much effort into manufacturing toys as they do outrage, the whole fucking universe would have a little something under their tree (or altar to whatever deity or just in the mailbox) for all eternity.

BaldarTFlagass December 20, 2012 at 12:43 pm

"they haven’t called Barack Obama any bad names even though he’s kept Gitmo open, extended the Patriot Act and even used drones to kill American citizens."

But you guys keep calling him bad names, despite all this.

smitallica December 20, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Pssst, Burt.

Um, if the point of your article is that anti-Semitism isn't a thing anymore, you probably shouldn't use the term "self-righteous shysters." Just FYI.

Chet Kincaid_ December 20, 2012 at 1:20 pm

I am just still gobsmacked that a Jewish person wrote this.

freakishlywrong December 20, 2012 at 12:44 pm

What an utterly charming holiday. As opposed to our soulless greed-fest. (I only donate now, no gifts).

Lizzietish81 December 20, 2012 at 1:13 pm

I bought a grand total of four presents on ThinkGeek, less than fifty bucks.

I spent over a hundred (in addition to my monthly contribution) for a special Amnesty International fund to protect women in other countries. Will probably give to the Heifer Fund too.

SorosBot December 20, 2012 at 12:45 pm

"the more men are ”holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power” (2 Timothy 3:5)"

This guy claims to be Jewish. The three books of Timothy are in the New Testament, attributed to Paul. Um…

Rufus T. Firefly December 20, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Have a Zany Zappadan, everyone!

prommie December 20, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Fucking wingnuts being furious really is getting old, y'all want to hear whats got Old Prommie furious? Well, gather round children, its like this. At the end of each year Old Prommie has to give a presentation to his board of directors and more or less sum up what he's been doing to earn his bloated salary for the last year. And this year, Prommie's biggest activity has been giving instructional seminars on various legal compliance topics of a stultifyingly boring nature. To accompany the seminars, Prommie writes Compliance Pamphlets on each topic, then he puts together a power-point, and does a series of 2 and a half hour seminars. 100% of content, Prommie, 100% of performance, Prommie. But then comes the Board presentation, and my god, it is absolutely amazing how many people claim ownership of the Prommie seminar series (it made a lot of money).

BaldarTFlagass December 20, 2012 at 12:54 pm

2-1/2 hour seminars? Kill me now. I couldn't sit through a 2-1/2 hour PowerPoint presentation even if it was exclusively about porn and badass cars. I'm sure yours are great, though, Prommie.

prommie December 20, 2012 at 12:59 pm

You would not then be in the target audience for my 6-hours a day, 3 day courses? And they eat it up, because it is all delivered with the celebrated Prommie wit, I assure you.

BaldarTFlagass December 20, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Well, if they're paying you and paying you well for it, it behooves them to be enthusiatic as a mothahfuckah.

finallyhappy December 20, 2012 at 4:24 pm

I don't know- I sat through a number of training courses in my former life- any of these on contract law or funding of state gov'ts? How about improper payments(I liked that title but it did not turn out to be interesting at all- I thought it was going to be about people who used money for hookers and porn- but no).

Blueb4sinrise December 20, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Sounds like 'someone' needs a lecture on humility from Bobo.

prommie December 20, 2012 at 1:03 pm

I am wrung through the humility wringer daily, trust me.

sewollef December 20, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Some people say that Jesus never existed.

In some circles, it has even been bandied around that it is no coincidence that so-called christian festivals happen to fall on or near much older pagan festivals.

It has even been argued that christianity itself is little more than an overly large Cargo Cult.

I'm just sayin'…..

GeorgiaBurning December 20, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Of course it's no coincidence, it enabled the "new" religion to slide into place literally on top of whatever was the old. Notice the way Christian and Islamic missionaries built their temples on the same spots where the displaced pagan ones stood, well before zoning laws.

Rebootably_Joe December 21, 2012 at 7:30 am

CHRISTIANS BUILD CHURCHES AS A SIGN OF CONQUEST. BAN THE OKLAHOMA CITY CHURC!!!!!

Lizzietish81 December 20, 2012 at 1:18 pm

I'm pretty sure the man existed.

And once I was told that the church didn't know when he was born so they chose a date at random for his birthday that just happened to fall on the Winter Solstice when everyone else was having their party.

SorosBot December 20, 2012 at 12:47 pm

So a CNN column titled "Have yourself a merry atheist Christmas" is part of "the cultural war against Jesus and Christmas"? Really? What, is just acknowledging that atheists exist; and, oh yeah, many of us like to celebrate Christmas; somehow anti-Christian and anti-Christmas? What the holy fuck?

sewollef December 20, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Holy fuck.

Now I want one of those… I don't care if I'm an atheist. Gimme.

weejee December 20, 2012 at 12:47 pm

OT

The New York Stock Exchange was just sold to our Chinese overlords some crackers in Atlanta.

BaldarTFlagass December 20, 2012 at 12:48 pm

"Burt Prelutsky, who apparently has written for the Timeses New York and Los Angeles,and yet now, sadly, is stuck writing… at WND."

He had to move on when those newspapers dropped the "Police Blotter" section.

prommie December 20, 2012 at 12:53 pm

They come out of the woodwork, to horn in on Prommie's work. The one what marketed it, the one what copied the handouts, the one that processed the payments. The one that overheard Prommie talking about it one day at lunch. The one that raised spurious alarms and questions about the program, and who soaked up much time and effort in having to teach said person enough to understand that these concerns and alarms were all in fact false, irrelevant, and based on ignorance, this one is of the belief that they are the savior of the program, for if not for the raising of these alarms so they could be "solved," disaster would have ensued. Prommie shakes head in disgust now.

frostbitefalls December 20, 2012 at 12:56 pm

The War on Christmas will not be won until all Americans are forced to eat Chinese food and go to the movies on December 25th. Bring it!

GeorgiaBurning December 20, 2012 at 1:10 pm

I'm still ordering the mu shu pork

Lizzietish81 December 20, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Years ago a Jewish friend of mine complained about how all these families were going to the movies on Christmas now. "It used to be OUR day to go!"

Tommmcatt_Again December 20, 2012 at 1:00 pm

I thought Dubya's religion was the Church of Secret Scotch and Blow.

iburl December 20, 2012 at 1:06 pm

the dirty little secret in America is …anti-Semitism is no longer a problem in society.

Dirty little secret? Like the Klan hoods that the WND writers wear every Saturday night?

Beach_Bubba_Tex December 20, 2012 at 1:11 pm

I liked it better when Christians didn't really celebrate Christmas. For some reason then they thought Easter was closer to the heart of their message.

Botlrokit December 20, 2012 at 1:15 pm

Christians could learn something from this.

Lizzietish81 December 20, 2012 at 1:16 pm

If you ever get interested in Quabbalah you should check out the Chicken Quabalah written by this guy pretending to be a crazy Rabbi.

One of the best lines is (paraphrased) "Its interesting how Christians are constantly exclaiming the name of our Lord while Jews hold it to be so sacred it cannot even be spelled out"
http://www.amazon.com/Chicken-Qabalah-Rabbi-Lamed

Rebootably_Joe December 20, 2012 at 1:20 pm

I didn't realize that Bush's religion demanded that he torture people and lie the country's way into war.

mrblifil December 20, 2012 at 2:00 pm

In Bush's defense he was just carrying out God's suggestion, conveyed while Dubya was struggling on the can late one night.

Lizzietish81 December 20, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Its been a proud tradition since the Crusades.

Allmighty_Manos December 20, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Michael Richards is anti-Semitic too?

Rebootably_Joe December 20, 2012 at 1:21 pm

I don't understand why the Jews and Atheists would need to kill Christmas. The Christians seem to be doing a fine enough job of that on their own.

Rebootably_Joe December 20, 2012 at 1:25 pm

<stage whisper> PSSST! Burt Prelutsky! You're not actually supposed to admit that the whole "War on Christmas" thing is secretly about how you still hate the Jews!</stage whisper>

imissopus December 20, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Yes, NO ONE on the left has criticized Obama for "keeping Gitmo open" (closing it was blocked by GOP congressfolk, though in fairness all the prisoners likely would have been moved to a prison in the States) or for continuing the drone war or extending the Patriot Act or signing the NDAA or…I mean, I could find examples of folks on the left criticizing Obama for all these things if I spent about fifteen seconds on Google but the three minutes I've spent reading and typing is already more attention than this asshole deserves.

Stevola December 20, 2012 at 1:40 pm

They don't much care for the Judeo part of our Judeo-Christian tradition, do they?

mrblifil December 20, 2012 at 1:58 pm

If The Daily Show requires a caution for "obscene language," Wonkette should require a warning for "pustulent anal herpes."

criticaldragon December 20, 2012 at 2:10 pm

The truth of the matter is, if Burt Prelutsky wasn't Jewish himself, people would accuse him of antisemitism for this. As it is, some Neo Nazis probably going to end up using what he wrote, to attack Jews. idiot.

Anyway, It seems like the religious right will blame just about anyone who's not christian, ( or they don't regard as being christian ) for the so called war on Christmas. Its really stupid anyway, because the war on Christmas is a figment of their imagination.

rickmaci December 20, 2012 at 2:18 pm

New entertainment program on Fux, "Jews for Jesus Say the Darnedest Things!"

zippy_w_pinhead December 20, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Funny thing is, if there really was a war, I'd have to say Christmas is winning. What used to be a one day holiday has turned into a month long event and just this year Christmas invaded Thanksgiving and annexed it. Look out Halloween, you're next…

tessiee December 20, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Next??
Halloween and Christmas/Santamas have coexisted for years.
The earliest I, personally, have seen yard decorations for Christmas was September 28.
"You just take more and more of the calendar for yourself":
http://www.comedycentral.com/video-clips/1jcake/c

zippy_w_pinhead December 20, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Well, if Christmas does end up marching across the calendar all the way to February 14th and invades it and wipes it out, we can go back to celebrating the St Valentine's Day massacre- Newsbusters be damned…

BaldarTFlagass December 20, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Maybe Christmas can organize a pincer envelopment with Easter.

criticaldragon December 20, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Zippy_W_Pinhead,

Don't worry when Halloween joins the war, Christmas will be doomed. It will be zombies, vampires and werewolves against a jolly old fat man and his elves. Guess who's going to win? LOL!

valthemus December 20, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Lordy help us! Hegemonic Christians have lost their iron grip on the culture!! People are actually acknowledging non-Christians exist!! And they're saying things and doing stuff and acting like they matter!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Jennyjen798 December 20, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Oh I keep hearing how our lack of Gawd made Gawd angry so he decided to be a dick and send a madman to kill our childrens! Sounds like a shitty thing to do in my opinion. I kind of don't want to worship someone that fucked up and abusive. Just saying.

Also, I had a coworker say well if you look statistically, we have more killings as we have become less religious over the last 40 years.

Me: Yeah, I'm sure that has nothing to do with assault weapon ban lifted, reduced to o mental care, and increased weapon capacity of a gun with laws that make shooting someone less of a big deal. You know that also took place over the last 40 years. Plus I could say that statistically you're IQ is lower than the average worker, because statistics can say what I want with whatever information I decide to use to calculate them.

Coworker: yeah but you can't stop these types of shootings…they're gonna happen no matter what gun bans are put in place.

Me: riiiiight! Ok. /work

Lizzietish81 December 20, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Actually violent crime has been on a steady decline for the last 40 years.

Also…God sounds like a dick.

zippy_w_pinhead December 20, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Spree killings have been on the rise since the 1980's, which was also the advent of supply side economics- therefore Ronald Reagan is responsible for Sandy Hook

a_pink_poodle December 20, 2012 at 3:40 pm

But what is the Final Solution to the liberal Jewish problem?

tessiee December 20, 2012 at 3:41 pm

"they haven’t called Barack Obama any bad names even though he’s kept Gitmo open, extended the Patriot Act"

I thought the wingnuts were all in favor of the Patriot Act, being such big patriots and all. At least, they were all in favor of it when Idiot boy Bush came up with the idea. I wonder what changed.

Wile E. Quixote December 20, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Whenever an article such as this one is published I know many of the Wonketeers who compose the Wonkettariat read it and think, "sure, the Jews killed Jesus, but what have they done for us lately?" Well I'm here to tell you. Jews invented modern comic books. Seriously, they fucking invented them, sure there were comic books available before the Jews came on the scene but it took Jewish writers and artists such as Stan Lee (Born Stanley Leiber), Jack Kirby (born Jacob Kurtzberg), Bob Kane (born Robert Kahn), Will Eisner, Julie Schwartz, Joe Schuster, Jerry Robinson (born Sherrill Robinson), Joe Simon (born Hymie Simon) and many others to show what the media could do. Oh, and the guys who ran the comic book companies were Jewish and mobbed up with Jewish mobsters.
Jews also took a significant role in developing modern physics, the list of Jewish physicists who have made significant contributions is long and includes names such as Albert Einstein, Enrico Fermi, I.I. Rabi, Hans Bethe, David Bohm, Richard Feynmann, Lev Landau and Karl Schwarzschild.
It was a couple of Jews who wiped out polio. Jonas Salk developed the killed-virus vaccine and Albert Sabin developed the live-virus vaccine (WND headline: Jews Develop Polio Vaccine: Destroy American Iron Lung Industry).
So in addition to killing Jesus (and remember, if it weren't for capital punishment we wouldn't have Easter) the Jews also developed a significant and well-loved American art form that has enriched hundreds of millions of lives, developed the underpinnings for modern physics, thus enriching billions of lives, wiped out polio, thus enriching billions of lives and are now fighting in the War on Christmas. What can I say, Jews, they're awesome!

finallyhappy December 20, 2012 at 4:26 pm

I am one of those Jews who just does mediocre stuff but I am hoping to help save the world from the Zombie Apocalypse in the future

Beowoof December 20, 2012 at 3:49 pm

And I always thought that the following was true:

Q: What do Jews do on Christmas?

A: Hang around the cash register singing: What a Friend we have in Jesus.

Or going for Chinese and a movie, I will check with my observant relatives.

finallyhappy December 20, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Chinese and a movie is true -although some people eat Indian or Thai as those restaurants are open on Christmas eve and day. We actually do this Christmas Eve

Beowoof December 20, 2012 at 8:25 pm

I know the Chinese and movie part is true, as my old girlfriend is Jewish. And the joke was always one of her favorites for mocking gentiles.

ttommyunger December 20, 2012 at 8:49 pm

Well, if everything isn't over tomorrow, at least Christmas will be over for another year in just five more days. What will the 'Tards be the victim of then? Anti-Assholery?

redarmyzombie December 20, 2012 at 11:55 pm

So, ummmm…Blood Libel?

Negropolis December 21, 2012 at 2:51 am

I never did get anti-Semitism, particularly here in the United States. They make up, what? Two percent of the population, tops, but they supposedly control the nation and the world? Really?

MosesInvests December 21, 2012 at 1:06 pm

A shandeh fahr die Goyim, also, too.

Chet Kincaid_ December 20, 2012 at 1:52 pm

That wasn't me! I came up with the variation, "finger-punching the search box" only!

BaldarTFlagass December 20, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Well, I thought it was Riley Wags that came up with that phrase, but it didn't seem worth getting into an argument with Prommie about it.

BaldarTFlagass December 20, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Probably the inspiration for the Frank Burns/Hot Lips scene in Altman's MASH movie. "Oooh, I love the Battling Bickersons!"

HistoriCat December 20, 2012 at 5:42 pm

I'm pretty sure that was a Sara Benincasa creation.

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