IF ANYTHING IT JUST MAKES TOO MUCH SENSE  9:45 am December 20, 2012

National Review: Give Your Kids Boundaries, Like ‘No, You May Not Shoot Up A School’

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Where are you tonight, O sweet Jesus?Oh, everybody was sooooo outraged when Megan McArdle took to the pixels of the Daily Beast to suggest that since only banning all guns would be effective in stopping gun violence, and we can’t ban all guns, we should train our children to “gang-rush” men who are shooting at them with semi-automatic weapons, “Let’s roll!”-styley. Everyone screamed and moaned about how Megan McArdle is the worst, stupidest person in the whole darn land, and no one could ever be stupider. But surely you knew National Review Online — and specifically Charlotte Allen — had yet to weigh in?

First Allen — of the Independent Women’s Forum, a delightful congregation of old bats who like to call up political offices and scream about homos — said a bunch of nonsense about how elementary schools have become feminized places because there were no male teachers at Sandy Hook. (That people on the right are suspicious of any man who wants to teach children, as he is doubtless a queer, is now forgotten.) She says a bunch of factually false things — that it was a K-6 school, so some of the “huskier” 12-year-old boys should have banded together to take Adam Lanza out (it was K-4), that there wasn’t a single male on the campus, not even a janitor to throw a trash can lid at Adam Lanza (there was a janitor, and he was a he), and laughable garbage nonsense like that.

She gives brief praise — it is probably not actually praise though, since the principal acted in an unfeminine way — to the principal and the teachers.

The principal, Dawn Hochsprung, seemed to have performed bravely. According to reports, she activated the school’s public-address system and also lunged at Lanza, before he shot her to death. Some of the teachers managed to save all or some of their charges by rushing them into closets or bathrooms.

But, clucks Allen, it’s a feminized setting! Whatever, that is not even the stupid part, it is just boilerplate “Independent” Women’s Forum, which is like Phyllis Schlafly’s dumber, uglier cousin. That “feminized” part is practically Charlotte Allen transcribing the bylaws.

No, the stupid part is the end:

Parents of sick children need to be realistic about them. I know at least two sets of fine and devoted parents who have had the misfortune to raise sons who were troubled for genetic reasons beyond anyone’s control. Either of those boys could have been an Adam Lanza. You simply can’t give a non-working, non-school-enrolled 20-year-old man free range of your home, much less your cache of weapons. You have to set boundaries. You have to say, “You can’t live here anymore — you’re an adult, and it’s time for you to be a man. We’ll give you all the support you need, but we won’t be enablers.” Unfortunately, the idea of being an “adult” and a “man” once one has reached physical maturity seems to have faded out of our coddling culture.

Got a sick kid? Set boundaries. Tell him NO, YOU MAY NOT SHOOT UP A SCHOOL. Is your child mentally ill? Make him a man by calling the U-Haul for him! Stop coddling your mentally ill child by giving him a “home” and “food.” Give him all the “support” he needs in other, unnamed ways that aren’t homes and food, because homes and food are “coddling.”

That Allen actually begins that graf by thinking of two families she knows with kids who are “troubled” for genetic reasons — i.e., schizophrenia or the like — and then lovingly explains that they will be just fine once they are out on their own, is, sadly, about what you could expect from NRO today. Although it’s not a perfect NRO piece if the shooter’s not black.

[NRO]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 240 comments }

KennyFuckingPowers December 20, 2012 at 9:47 am

Needs more gunz!

thatsitfortheother1 December 20, 2012 at 10:20 am

You misspelled moar.

BaldarTFlagass December 20, 2012 at 10:26 am

And "needz."

EatsBabyDingos December 20, 2012 at 9:48 am

A night with Miss Lindsey will make anyone a man. Except Rick Perry.

chicken_thief December 20, 2012 at 10:09 am

Marcus volunteered for a week, just to ensure the cure *takes*.

EatsBabyDingos December 20, 2012 at 10:47 am

And they all sang their favorite Yuletide carol "One night in Bangkok and the world's your oyster." Well, it looked like Marcus spit an oyster, anyway.

DaniloTifoso December 20, 2012 at 9:48 am

How is this Jesus' fault then?

actor212 December 20, 2012 at 10:01 am

Because he was too busy to show up at the school in a BDU and Kevlar.

asterixaverni December 20, 2012 at 10:09 am

'Cuz Jesus lived with his Mama until he was 30. Then he went on a rampage in the temple, pissed off a lot rabbis and romans and got damn fool self killed.

actor212 December 20, 2012 at 10:16 am

PILGRIMMAGE TO INDIA LIBEL!

(no, seriously…)

thatsitfortheother1 December 20, 2012 at 10:43 am

I tried to warn the boy. Doncha go down there fvckin with them Jews without no money!

–Richard Pryor

bikerlaureate December 20, 2012 at 11:21 am

Cannot fail, can only be failed, etc.

Also, people voting for the Christian in the White House instead of the cult member really honked Him off.

Spider-Jerk December 20, 2012 at 11:32 am

Manufacturer defect?

Barbara_ December 20, 2012 at 9:50 am

As a parent of two daughters who were constantly sitting before me as I rubbed peanut butter in their hair to get the chewing gum out, don't give guns to children, please.

thatsitfortheother1 December 20, 2012 at 10:21 am

Meh. Soshalism.

proudgrampa December 20, 2012 at 11:00 am

Heck, don't give them gum, either!

noodlesalad December 20, 2012 at 11:28 am

No coincidence that one of the safest countries in the world is Singapore, which has both gun and gum control.

bikerlaureate December 20, 2012 at 11:23 am

Was it chunky peanut butter?
Added friction.

PopeEdgardo December 20, 2012 at 11:51 am

When chewing gum is outlawed, only outlaws will have chewing gum.

noodlesalad December 20, 2012 at 9:50 am

As the NRO reminds us regularly, editors of sick writers also need to set boundaries. "No, you may no insinuate that the actions of Principal Hochsprung were anything less than the heroic deeds of an educator trying to save her students. And no, you may not suggest that parents stop taking care of their troubled children. Put down the laptop and leave."

Pithaughn December 20, 2012 at 10:43 am

Any time I saw some parents loading their adult aged child into a wheel chair van, said wheel chair one of those elaborate motorized jobs with the sheep skin and able to articulate such that the person can be prone for awhile; I would say to my son, " before you drop trou and get nasty with your hotty you better be prepared to be that parent sonny". I am pretty sure he has never had intercourse yet out of fear. Of course now that I want some grand kids I partially regret this child rearing tactic.

Wile E. Quixote December 20, 2012 at 3:53 pm

As the NRO reminds us regularly, editors of sick writers also need to set boundaries.

And they do. I mean after publishing sexist, racist and just plain idiotic drivel for over a decade Rich Lowry said "No, you may not publish racist screeds in other magazines" to John Derbyshire and sent him out on his own. If that's not setting boundaries then I don't know what is.

AlterNewt December 20, 2012 at 9:50 am

..trouble for genetic reasons

uh-oh.

actor212 December 20, 2012 at 9:55 am

Yea, you caught that too…

Lot_49 December 20, 2012 at 10:02 am

Buckley loved eugenics. Must be in the DNA of National Review.

thatsitfortheother1 December 20, 2012 at 10:22 am

You know… else… solutions… genetic reasons…?

Lot_49 December 20, 2012 at 9:51 am

Yup, Adam Lanza would've responded positively to being kicked out of his house by his mother, that's for sure.

My elementary school (K-8) was a highly feminized setting, practically a beauty parlor, with only one male teacher and some scary old janitors in the boiler room. However, my third grade teacher, Mrs L____, could have dropped a potential shooter in his tracks with one glare from her steely blue eyes. You did not want to show up Monday morning without having completed your arithmetic homework.

MaxUdargo December 20, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Almost all of my K-4 teachers, back in the 70s, were women. Maybe all of them were. Isn't that normal? Isn't that "traditional?"

And I guess those teachers were "feminizing" me, because I distinctly remember that I was always being discouraged from fighting or being confrontational or throwing temper tantrums. K-4 was all about learning to share and being nice and learning conflict resolution techniques that didn't involve hitting or biting or somebody's face turning bright red or bawling your eyes out.

Back then, I think they called it "learning how to behave like an adult." Today, apparently, this traditional but antiquated method is to be known as "feminizing."

Well, it is a different world we live in. America used to need adults, now we need Rambos. Times have changed.

FakaktaSouth December 20, 2012 at 9:51 am

The idea of willy-nilly setting people out in to the world to be as crazy as they are just sounds like Alabama to me. Trust me lady, it's a bad idea.

fatbob54 December 20, 2012 at 10:20 am

Ronald Reagan tried that back in the good old days. That's why we wound up with so many homeless people freezing to death in the streets of Washington in the 80s. It's better now though, they either became men, or they died.

OneDollarJuana December 20, 2012 at 10:24 am

First he tried it in California. Worked like a charm.

mrpuma2u December 20, 2012 at 10:31 am

Yup, sending schizophrenic 20 somethings out into world sounds like an AWESOME idea. WTF are these morons thinking?

OneDollarJuana December 20, 2012 at 10:33 am

"WTF are these morons thinking? "

I believe you have answered your own question.

Goonemeritus December 20, 2012 at 9:52 am

I will be explaining to my two sons that mass murder is wrong this very night. Thanks for the parenting tip National Review.

larrykat December 20, 2012 at 10:05 am

Just make sure you don't emasculate them when doing so.

BadKitty904 December 20, 2012 at 10:06 am

You could fix that by making 'em build one of those tables that sits next to their beds…

Chow Yun Flat December 20, 2012 at 9:52 am

Fullerton, California had a recent example of the result of kind of child rearing.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_of_Kelly_Thoma

not that Dewey December 20, 2012 at 10:08 am

Man, that's some tough love.

MegPasadena December 20, 2012 at 12:32 pm

What a nice set of parents! First threw their sick child out on the street for decades, then when he got beaten to death by the police, received 1 million dollars from the city. Very pragmatic.

commiegirl99 December 20, 2012 at 12:41 pm

Nah man that was death by cop, not by parent.

commiegirl99 December 20, 2012 at 12:42 pm

I totally — TOTALLY — object to blaming the parents for Kelly Thomas's death. He was beaten to death by a cop, not his dad.

commiegirl99 December 20, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Then parents are to blame for every homeless person on teh streets of America. Again, I strenuously object to this.

Chow Yun Flat December 20, 2012 at 2:27 pm

You are right–after reading into the story it was clear that Kelly's parents did everything they could think of to help him–he was just too sick to get well. The cops who beat him to death are disgusting individuals who should be punished.

Sorry about that.

HRH_Maddie December 20, 2012 at 9:52 am

Jesus, these people love their "bootstrap" theory. Go live on your own and your mental illness will get better. Guess what percentage of the homeless are mentally ill and getting sicker with no treatment?

thatsitfortheother1 December 20, 2012 at 10:27 am

127% ?

starfanglednut December 20, 2012 at 11:19 am

The suffering involved in untreated mental illness is incalculable. What a stupid woman.

bikerlaureate December 20, 2012 at 11:25 am

Self-absorbed.

The stupidity here is displayed by those who wasted electrons making her hateful words available for all to see…

redarmyzombie December 20, 2012 at 10:30 pm

Wait wait wait, lemme guess, lemme guess…um…

…All of them, Katie?

DahBoner December 20, 2012 at 9:53 am

GET OFF MY VIRTUAL DIGITAL LAWN YOU KIDS

actor212 December 20, 2012 at 9:53 am

I know at least two sets of fine and devoted parents who have had the misfortune to raise sons who were troubled for genetic reasons beyond anyone’s control.

And I know a couple…let's call them the "Allens"…who raised a fucking idiotic megacephalic retard for a daughter who should have staked her out for the vultures like they did in ancient Rome.

….erm, with votes, of course.

Tommy1733 December 20, 2012 at 10:03 am

And talons.

thatsitfortheother1 December 20, 2012 at 10:27 am

Gonna need a bigger eagle…

bikerlaureate December 20, 2012 at 11:27 am

Just another naked view of the godless commie-eugenicist lack of value for human life. (Not the parents' lives, naturally)

dj_1973 December 20, 2012 at 9:53 am

His mother had already given him an ultimatum according to this article: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/exclusiv

slithytoves December 20, 2012 at 9:53 am

If feminized passivity is what those courageous women are guilty of, then we should all aspire to such a sin.

actor212 December 20, 2012 at 9:56 am

Don't forget the courage to rush into gunfire without a second thought.

fatbob54 December 20, 2012 at 10:24 am

Yeah. Maybe if right wing rags promoted "Feminized Passivity" as a solution to our country's problem then there wouldn't be so many people dying of bullets in their bodies.

actor212 December 20, 2012 at 9:54 am

You know, all this could have been avoided if Nancy Lanza only kept guns around the house for protection.

malsperanza December 20, 2012 at 10:03 am

1000 upfists

thatsitfortheother1 December 20, 2012 at 10:28 am

Yep, that's a win.

christianmuslin December 20, 2012 at 9:54 am

Her facts lead me to wonder if she has a part-time gig as the Fox News fact checker.

TootsStansbury December 20, 2012 at 9:54 am

Are these yahoos just trying ro out stupid each other? Is it some sort of sick joke they're playing?

BaldarTFlagass December 20, 2012 at 9:58 am

World's worst in-joke.

Estproph December 20, 2012 at 10:04 am

They're still in republican primary campaign mode.

freakishlywrong December 20, 2012 at 10:09 am

They're desperately rephrasing the talking points. Like deck chairs on the Titanic.

Chow Yun Flat December 20, 2012 at 9:55 am

Since you already have the guns, you could just kneecap your mentally ill twenty year old–that should slow him down a bit.

stefanbc December 20, 2012 at 9:55 am

If the inexplicable rise of Jonah Goldberg into mainstream respectability is any sign, expect Mrs. Allen to replace David Brooks on Meet the Press in a few years as there new moderate conservative.

BadKitty904 December 20, 2012 at 9:55 am

Growing up in a town that has accurately been described as "Our Nation's Oldest Insane Asylum," I can say that, obviously, some folks can't help being crazy.

But *WE* sure as hell can help make sure they don't have access to guns.

Baconzgood December 20, 2012 at 9:56 am

A lot of mentally ill people that don't have parents to "coddle" them ARE FUCKING HOMELESS YOU DUMB CUNT FUCK BITCH SHIT FOR BRAINS!!!!!

fatbob54 December 20, 2012 at 10:26 am

But they had parents, who kicked them out to make men of them. Even the women.

Rebootably_Joe December 20, 2012 at 10:33 am

Man, and here I thought I caught the ass burgers because of the uncaring and aloof Refridgerator Momz. It's so hard to keep this all straight!

viennawoods13 December 20, 2012 at 10:53 am

Don't hold back… tell us how you REALLY feel.

BaldarTFlagass December 20, 2012 at 9:56 am

These people watch way too fucking many movies.

BadKitty904 December 20, 2012 at 10:01 am

They sure as dammit don't seem to be living on *this* planet…

actor212 December 20, 2012 at 9:57 am

Yes, spare the Glock, spoil the child.

BadKitty904 December 20, 2012 at 10:00 am

Sad, but a good 'un!

thatsitfortheother1 December 20, 2012 at 10:30 am

You are on fire today!

May I recommend a halon cocktail?

lefty74 December 20, 2012 at 9:57 am

Schools need more nuns. Fewer priests.

chicken_thief December 20, 2012 at 10:06 am

Nuns were scary. They'd wear the same 18 layers of clothes regardless of the temperature. And they never sweat. It was freakish, I tell ya.

thatsitfortheother1 December 20, 2012 at 10:33 am

And they represent the only percentage of the eath's population that ever pulled me up out of my seat by an ear.

larrykat December 20, 2012 at 9:57 am

I'll git him hizzown trailer, long as the gubmint payz fer it.

BigSkullF*ckingDog December 20, 2012 at 9:57 am

Hey, it worked for Dexter's dad …

BadKitty904 December 20, 2012 at 10:02 am

These people apparently think that show is a documentary, rather than FICTION…

BigSkullF*ckingDog December 20, 2012 at 10:16 am

Yeah, and I suppose your going to tell me that Walter White doesn't really make the best meth ever.

BadKitty904 December 20, 2012 at 10:19 am

How would I know? I'm not a Palin…

freakishlywrong December 20, 2012 at 9:58 am

Ok. Uncle. We really don't want you asshats "weighing in".

Mumbletypeg December 20, 2012 at 9:58 am

Becca why are you making me re-live conversational drivel with my parents all over again; I am still recovering from Thanksgiving. *twitch* *flinch* *lays head on desk*

BadKitty904 December 20, 2012 at 10:03 am

Two words – ear plugs…

asterixaverni December 20, 2012 at 10:14 am

They don't work.

FNMA December 20, 2012 at 11:02 am

No. I believe this is why liquor was invented.

actor212 December 20, 2012 at 9:59 am

Ironically, I'm listening to Roger Waters at the 12-12 concert singing The Wall as this thread opens.

James Michael Curley December 20, 2012 at 11:08 am

Definitely a 'lip-sync' or should we say 'really bad bridgework sync.'

Oblios_Cap December 20, 2012 at 11:11 am

Except for Kayne West, that was a damn fine show.

Loch_Nessosaur December 20, 2012 at 9:59 am

“You can’t live here anymore —

That's right, go all Ronald Reagan on them and throw them out on to the streets where they can't do any damage. Works for me.

ttommyunger December 20, 2012 at 8:24 pm

Went to my third party of the season tonight. In this neck of the woods you can't swing a cat without hitting four or five wing-nuts. They blamed Carter for throwing the mentally ill into the streets (bemoaning the school shootings and blaming everything except gun proliferation) and I was so taken aback I couldn't counter them. Naturally, I left early.

James Michael Curley December 20, 2012 at 9:59 am

You notice Ms. McArdle's writings are available when there is a helium shortage.

thatsitfortheother1 December 20, 2012 at 10:34 am

Sudafed's in short supply as well.

chicken_thief December 20, 2012 at 9:59 am

This woman is a fucking loon. How can we reap the rewards of having our young'uns working the mops and brooms in the school if we boot them out of the house?!

STFU, lady and leave the serious thinking to folks like Newt. Now go make me a sammich.

BaldarTFlagass December 20, 2012 at 10:00 am

"I know at least two sets of fine and devoted parents who have had the misfortune to raise sons who were troubled for genetic reasons beyond anyone’s control."

If there was only some way of taking those genetically-troubled children and doing something that would prevent them from reproducing or otherwise troubling our society. Hey, wait a minute. This calls for a "you know who else…?"

actor212 December 20, 2012 at 10:04 am

Margaret Sanger?

actor212 December 20, 2012 at 10:04 am

Winston Churchill?

actor212 December 20, 2012 at 10:04 am

H G Wells?

BaldarTFlagass December 20, 2012 at 10:13 am

You're on fire today.

actor212 December 20, 2012 at 10:20 am

I'm fighting insomnia.

Rebootably_Joe December 20, 2012 at 10:07 am

The US criminal justice system?

Chow Yun Flat December 20, 2012 at 10:13 am

North Carolina?

noodlesalad December 20, 2012 at 10:16 am

The Ghost of Robert Bork?

chicken_thief December 20, 2012 at 10:02 am

OT, but what's with the holy neck brace on Pewter Jeebus?

larrykat December 20, 2012 at 10:08 am

Those are the other two common thieves on Golgotha with Jeebus you fucking heathen.

BaldarTFlagass December 20, 2012 at 10:12 am

Crucifixion's a dawdle. But at least it gets you out in the fresh air!!

chicken_thief December 20, 2012 at 10:20 am

Dammit! If only there was a book or something where I could read up on that shit.

larrykat December 20, 2012 at 10:25 am

No kidding. There's nothing out there on this.

poorgradstudent December 20, 2012 at 10:02 am

I don't know what you're making fun of here. I know I'd rather have mentally ill young adults who are forced to fend for themselves with no safety net from their families or government than have them lazily playing "Mass Effect 3" all day.

Negropolis December 20, 2012 at 10:03 am

that there wasn’t a single male on the campus, not even a janitor to throw a trash can lid at Adam Lanza

If any of those two photos they keep circulating of Lanza are recent, a swift wind could have knocked him over, which doesn't matter because he had a fucking gun. The stupid, it burns.

mrblifil December 20, 2012 at 10:12 am

And there WAS a male janitor, and he was a hero. So fuck that idiot twat and her presumably meth-addicted-all-the-ding-dong-day "editors."

fatbob54 December 20, 2012 at 10:33 am

The trick, obviously, is to use the trash can lid like a shield until his clip runs out. Then you throw it like a frisbee and take his head off. Then you utter a witty catch phrase that makes all the living kids laugh and forget that their not so lucky friends are bleeding life out of the bullet holes in their bodies. That's how it works in right wing fantasy land. In the reality based community, not so much…

HistoriCat December 20, 2012 at 4:26 pm

It worked for Captain America!

Negropolis December 20, 2012 at 10:40 pm

Yeah, I'd like to see someone try and stop the bullet from an assault rifle with a trash can lid. lol

BaldarTFlagass December 20, 2012 at 10:03 am

"You simply can’t give a non-working, non-school-enrolled 20-year-old man free range of your home"

I think locking them in the basement or attic is an ineffective solution, at least in the movies I have seen.

Lot_49 December 20, 2012 at 10:09 am

And don't go in their rooms, if you value your sense of smell.

bikerlaureate December 20, 2012 at 11:30 am

Just toss a bag of weed in there periodically, and close the door quickly.

Or maybe I'm oversharing again…

actor212 December 20, 2012 at 10:25 am

It's no wonder she's catching hell from her readers at NRO.

About the only thing she missed was "lock away the Cheetos and Mountain Dew"

Oblios_Cap December 20, 2012 at 11:12 am

I thought that said "lock them in the Arctic", which seems like an ideal solution.

deanbooth December 20, 2012 at 10:03 am

It's like a debate club in which you're assigned the position against the need for drivers licenses. You just gotta make up shit to create something that resembles an argument. This is the general fate of right wing writers.

ManchuCandidate December 20, 2012 at 10:07 am

But these dimwits seem to actually believe it.

fatbob54 December 20, 2012 at 10:36 am

Driver's licenses are an unwarranted governmental intrusion into our lives. The founding fathers said nothing about driver's licenses. You can have my car when you pry my cold dead fingers off the steering wheel. Sorry I ignored that red light by the way, I don't like commie colors.

LibrarianX December 20, 2012 at 10:04 am

Is this part of a 'lose the next election' strategy?

BadKitty904 December 20, 2012 at 10:09 am

Please GOD…

poorgradstudent December 20, 2012 at 10:05 am

Also it's times like these that I wish I had my PhD and could offer up an "authoritative" quote for articles like these. Something like "Having dozens of young men who have no place in society and no economic security has always worked out great for everybody, all throughout history. Really!"

BadKitty904 December 20, 2012 at 10:14 am

If their kids are disabled, isn't it *their* "personal responsibility" (as well as their Christian duty) to care for them, rather than throwing them out on the street and expecting the rest of us taxpayers to support them?

poorgradstudent December 20, 2012 at 10:21 am

Oh, but if we have them just end up in for-profit prisons, everyone wins!

BaldarTFlagass December 20, 2012 at 10:17 am

"dozens of young men who have no place in society and no economic security"

Perhaps they could all go back to school and work on their master's or PhD's!!

poorgradstudent December 20, 2012 at 10:20 am

Hey, how'd you know my origin story?

bikerlaureate December 20, 2012 at 11:32 am

Are they too proud to borrow twenty grand from their parents and start their own business?

redarmyzombie December 20, 2012 at 10:48 pm

Maybe their parents could loan them $20,000 to start their own business!

joshleefolsom December 20, 2012 at 10:05 am

The NRO commenters are hammering her pretty good, so thankfully I don't need to register an account and jump on the pig pile.

Nostrildamus December 20, 2012 at 7:11 pm

Reading those comments actually made my day.

Estproph December 20, 2012 at 10:06 am

Why do I get the feeling that, on some level, they see the kids getting shot as some kind of "tough love"?

Botlrokit December 20, 2012 at 10:06 am

Sounds great, lady. Adam Lanza is patiently waiting for you to tell him his lesson, right now. And about two hundred other shuffling, shifting, nervous, repressed, awkward and armed people. Come on, lady! Stop typing your next batch of stupid and get to work!!

Lot_49 December 20, 2012 at 10:12 am

Or at least go make me a sandwich.

ManchuCandidate December 20, 2012 at 10:06 am

When does having a dick make you bulletproof?

I feel dumber having read excerpts from Allen's, but not dumb enough to read the NRO.

MegPasadena December 20, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Yeah, I guess all my man friends who are scared of their nun teachers are just pussies.

Ms. Allen just really hates to be a woman herself so she has to bash all the women.

BaldarTFlagass December 20, 2012 at 10:07 am

What's all this "feminized setting" bullshit? Didn't these people ever see "The Wicker Man" or "Harvest Home?" Bitches bein' scary and badass.

BadKitty904 December 20, 2012 at 10:16 am

From what I've been told, a bullet will kill a male just as fast as it'll kill a female.

Gender doesn't enter into this equation…

BaldarTFlagass December 20, 2012 at 10:24 am

Wrong! During a legitimate shooting, the male body has ways to try to shut that whole bullet thing down."

BadKitty904 December 20, 2012 at 10:33 am

Todd, is that you?

actor212 December 20, 2012 at 10:30 am

Everything I know about matriarchies, I learned from watching "Mudd's Women".

Lot_49 December 20, 2012 at 10:07 am

You know what would really be a sad thing? If the only outcome of this tragedy is that the feds shovel a lot of money towards schools to turn them into bunkers. Everybody loves federal construction pork, for the jerbs.

Oh, and maybe put some stickers on first-person-shooter video games.

BadKitty904 December 20, 2012 at 10:18 am

Truly. "Fear" is the Repugs most effective tool for controlling the sheeple…

Chet Kincaid_ December 20, 2012 at 10:40 am

ESA: The Education Safety Administration. X-raying and feeling up your kids daily since 2013.

smashedinhat December 20, 2012 at 10:07 am

I line the litter box with Megan McArdle. Come to think of it I wrap fish guts with Megan McArdle and wipe gross dog related items off the floor with Megan McArdle. Fortunately there seems to be an endless and not missed supply of Megan McArdle.

Tommy1733 December 20, 2012 at 10:08 am

Still can't think of anything to say about this tragedy, but this continuous barrage of appalling insensitivity from the Wrong Wing (let's just be honest here) is not making this any easier.

DemmeFatale December 20, 2012 at 11:37 am

I agree.
Make it stop.
I love you, Wonkette, but I can't take the stupid anymore.

malsperanza December 20, 2012 at 10:09 am

"She … lunged at Lanza, before he shot her to death."

See that? We need more of that. If only the kids had also lunged at him, and the huge male janitor* had lunged at him, then they could all have died in a hail of automatic gunfire, which would have been much less passive and more masculine.

The problem with America today is that surviving an attack by a maniac wielding the automatic weapons that are freely for sale everywhere requires absolute passivity, hiding, begging, and hiding we have become weakened by feminism to the point where we no longer know how to stand our ground. If this keeps up, China is gonna eat our lunch.

Unless we eat our own lunch first.

*presumably a buck negro

feminazipenishrinker December 20, 2012 at 11:00 am

pew pew pew.

Barrelhse December 20, 2012 at 10:10 am

This could have been quite a country if the buffoons on the right hadn't insisted on dragging us back to 1620.

vulpes82 December 20, 2012 at 10:22 am

Even William Bradford would look at these loons and say, "Really?"

Dudleydidwrong December 20, 2012 at 10:10 am

I read this on one of those "social networky" thingies. It is a real joy to see into the hearts of the good Christians of this nation: (If someone posted this before, I humbly apologize; I just saw it this morning.)

twas' 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38
when 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven's gate.
their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air.
they could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there.
they were filled with such joy, they didn't know what to say.
they remembered nothing of what had happened earlier that day.

"where are we?" asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse.
"this is heaven." declared a small boy. "we're spending Christmas at God's house."
when what to their wondering eyes did appear,
but Jesus, their savior, the children gathered near.
He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same.
then He opened His arms and He called them by name.
and in that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring
those children all flew into the arms of their King
and as they lingered in the warmth of His embrace,
one small girl turned and looked at Jesus' face.
and as if He could read all the questions she had
He gently whispered to her, "I'll take care of mom and dad."

then He looked down on earth, the world far below
He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe
then He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand,
"Let My power and presence re-enter this land!"
"may this country be delivered from the hands of fools"
"I'm taking back my nation. I'm taking back my schools!"
then He and the children stood up without a sound.
"come now my children, let me show you around."
excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran.
all displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.
and i heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight,
"in the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT."

GAAAAAAAAAA!

BigSkullF*ckingDog December 20, 2012 at 10:18 am

excuse me while I puke.

asterixaverni December 20, 2012 at 10:24 am

This is the sickest thing I've ever read.

TootsStansbury December 20, 2012 at 10:29 am

Fucking hell this pisses me off.

fatbob54 December 20, 2012 at 10:39 am

That makes me want to forget how to read.

Chet Kincaid_ December 20, 2012 at 10:43 am

and as if He could read all the questions she had
He gently whispered to her, "I'll take care of mom and dad."

Am I to understand this as a threat to go down and massacre all their parents as well?

redarmyzombie December 20, 2012 at 10:53 pm

"Stand Yer Ground!"

Barrelhse December 20, 2012 at 10:44 am

Suck my fucking dick, "Christian" asswipes.

elviouslyqueer December 20, 2012 at 10:46 am

Oh my fucking God.*

*not intended to be a factual statement

viennawoods13 December 20, 2012 at 11:00 am

Jesus Christ. (not uttered in a prayerful tone)

Rebootably_Joe December 20, 2012 at 11:02 am

Wait, so praying to Jeebus in school would have given them a magic force field that would have protected them from bullets? I wonder how that works. Entropic Shield? Wind Wall? Some sort of domain spell?

starfanglednut December 20, 2012 at 11:24 am

The idea is so dense it distorts space time and the bullets just go in circles.

bikerlaureate December 20, 2012 at 11:35 am

I wish He'd become this resolute after the poor Amish kids were murdered. One hopes there wasn't a firm threshold – the quantity of victims – that was the difference this time.

fatbob54 December 20, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Maybe its one of those "the body has a way of shutting down mass shootings if they're not legitimate" shields.

(my apologies to everyone if this thought has been posted already on this or another thread.)

Spider-Jerk December 20, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Wow. That…

Are you sure they didn't just plagiarize that from The Onion?

commiegirl99 December 20, 2012 at 12:55 pm

HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHITBALLS OF CHRIST

mrblifil December 20, 2012 at 10:11 am

Plus she imagines a heroic male janitor with his bucket, never mentioning that an ACTUAL male janitor was on the scene, running all over the goddamn school putting his life at risk to tell teachers to lock their doors and hide their kids. In this way the tragedy was significantly lessened, not that that's any comfort really. I would like to shoot Charlotte Allen in the face with my cock full of votes.

BadKitty904 December 20, 2012 at 10:23 am

These people seem to miss the point.

Janitors shouldn't HAVE to risk their lives "running all over the goddamn school putting his life at risk to tell teachers to lock their doors and hide their kids." Nor should teachers HAVE to bear arms to protect their tiny students.

MegPasadena December 20, 2012 at 12:52 pm

For the right wingers, little people like teachers and janitors should be paid very little, be demonized, and be expected to sacrify their own lives if necessary.
But the important job creators shouldn't even be asked to pay their fair share of taxes.

actor212 December 20, 2012 at 10:12 am

OT: Cory Booker announced he'll run for the Senate to replace Lautenberg.

Chet Kincaid_ December 20, 2012 at 10:45 am

Squee.

James Michael Curley December 20, 2012 at 11:12 am

Bad timing. The guy who will get the nod in June, 2014 will be the guy Lautenberg is standing next to when he announces his candidacy.

BaldarTFlagass December 20, 2012 at 11:20 am

Well, given the S Carolina appointment, we do need a shaved-head black guy on our side of the aisle to maintain the balance of power.

randcoolcatdaddy December 20, 2012 at 10:13 am

Translation: "Why are you annoying me with your problems? Go help yourself and get away from me. I have more important things to think about, like me."

Mumbletypeg December 20, 2012 at 10:15 am

O/T:
WTF will the idiot populace think of next? Virginians don't want to get left behind in that race to the bottom, apparently!

Chet Kincaid_ December 20, 2012 at 10:48 am

Are you fuckin' kiddin' me??

Chet Kincaid_ December 20, 2012 at 11:05 am

(Mightily incensed) This is not the time for dumbfuck, bumfuck performance art.

Ruhe December 20, 2012 at 10:15 am

Interesting perspective this morning on MSNBC from Andrea Mitchell who noted that after Bobby Kennedy was killed LBJ got everyone in the Oval Office and told them they had about two weeks to get some sort of gun control legislation written, passed and on his desk before the NRA would be fully mobilized to prevent any such change. All the stupid commentary, from this lady's nonsense to Huckabee's tacit claim that God let's this stuff happen because we don't let God into our schools…it's all just part of the wave of distraction that's already rolling. By the time the NRA actually gets involved later today the tide will already be turning. I'd bet real money that any new assault weapon law that gets passed will apply only to sales of new weapons and won't straight outlaw the possession of this class of rifles. I'll need to see the NRA actually lose one before I'll bet against them.

BadKitty904 December 20, 2012 at 10:25 am

"wave of distraction" is EXACTLY the correct phrase. The NRA is fully aware that the longer they can prevent any action being taken on this horror, the better the chance of it being forgotten.

Rebootably_Joe December 20, 2012 at 10:16 am

Huskily_Joe was once a 12 year-old boy. In other words, fuck you very much, once again, NRO.

not that Dewey December 20, 2012 at 10:16 am

Here's FOX Business News, in 2010, actually calmly and rationally explaining the increased mental health coverage provisions in the Death Panel Government Socialist Takeover of Healthcare.

Chet Kincaid_ December 20, 2012 at 10:50 am

Clearly, FOX news has bi-polar disorder and should seek treatment.

chicken_thief December 20, 2012 at 10:18 am

Maybe we should just give all the kids PCP, also too. Cause I saw a movie once where a guy on PCP got shot like, 20 times and he just coming at the would be killer, took the gun away and pistol whipped the sumbitch with the thing. I mean, I think it would work for 6 yr olds too.

Naked_Bunny December 20, 2012 at 10:18 am

It's amazing how so many things led to this mass shooting that don't involve easy access to guns.

PubOption December 20, 2012 at 10:20 am

Uglier than Phyllis Schlafly! That is difficult, even if you mean her writings.

mrblifil December 20, 2012 at 10:48 am

Dude/dudette: she's some kind of ugly.

Plus her Twitter handle is "Mean Charlotte." Ya think?

Chet Kincaid_ December 20, 2012 at 11:04 am

Are you sure that's the right one? I image-searched and the results were all over the place, so I didn't want to drag some innocent person into our body snark.

DahBoner December 20, 2012 at 10:21 am

" Romney's White House transition team spent $8.9 million in taxpayer money — including $2.5 million on office space, $740 million on furniture, and $5.6 million on computer equipment and cellphones"

KING LOUIE XV APPROVES YUR UNECESSARY FURNITURE EXPENSES

viennawoods13 December 20, 2012 at 11:03 am

You must be fucking kidding me.

bikerlaureate December 20, 2012 at 11:37 am

740 grand, rather.

Reimbursing the taxpayers for that would just be a sucker move.

Dudleydidwrong December 20, 2012 at 11:40 am

"After being sold at Big Lots, the Romney Transition Team turned back $141.53 to the US Treasury in full payment for the unneeded items."

BaldarTFlagass December 20, 2012 at 10:21 am

"Unfortunately, the idea of being an “adult” and a “man” once one has reached physical maturity seems to have faded out of our coddling culture."

No shit, we should kick those kids out of the house when they turn 13 or 14, and they can marry their girlfriend and have a bunch of kids and fucking fend for themselves, just like back in the days before we had this coddling culture.

Chet Kincaid_ December 20, 2012 at 10:58 am

The boys can shoot racoons and their wives can make Fess Parker hats!!

StillGoinGreen December 20, 2012 at 10:22 am

"Daddy, can I shoot up Liberty Elementary School?"

"No! And finish your green beans."

Problem solved. World safe. Next problem.

Rebootably_Joe December 20, 2012 at 10:26 am

BUT WAIT: If we had taken Newt Gingrich's advice, then all the janitors would have actually just been the poorer kids at the school. Which, some of them might have been "huskier", but on the other hand, we ALSO know that The Poors are shiftless and lazy and lacking moral character, so good fucking luck getting that to happen, without any Obama Gifts.

Mumbletypeg December 20, 2012 at 10:42 am

Gooddammit Joe, I've been trying to think how to work Newt's nonsensical custodial solution into this and you nailed it.

starfanglednut December 20, 2012 at 11:27 am

And how "husky" could they get on their diet of a cheese sandwich and a glass of milk for lunch.

weejee December 20, 2012 at 10:27 am

Well she didn't try to hang the Sandy Hook tragedy on Rachel Maddow nor on Eleanor Roosevelt, so there is that on the up-side. Not much else howsomever.

Radiotherapy December 20, 2012 at 10:30 am

Have they discussed putting body armor on everybody yet? Sure it wouldn't stop head shots, or armor piercing bullets, or baseball bats, but if it saved one kid's life, wouldn't it be worth it?

fatbob54 December 20, 2012 at 10:43 am
Radiotherapy December 20, 2012 at 11:41 am

Figures.

Mahousu December 20, 2012 at 10:43 am

Wait, I'm confused. Sure, denying food and shelter is fine, but how are you giving your child "all the support you need" if at the same time you're not giving him any guns? Isn't it part of our freedoms to be fully armed at all times? Why does Charlotte Allen hate our children?

Pithaughn December 20, 2012 at 10:54 am

Old Pith had to help a gun store yesterday after their "IT guy" broke DNS and so OMG!! no background checks!!
Among the truly jaw dropping moments, some Grand parents brought their 5 yr old grand child with them so that she could pick out a pistol for her mom. They settled on a nice pink and white one. And 3 boxes of ammo.
One more you say? Well they had already sold out all AR-15 right handed assault rifles, so one customer was visibly shaken that he would have to wait a few days to get his 4th AR-15. Seems he has one right handed and two left handed and NEEDS another right handed one. I guess he thinks having 4 AR-15s is the minimum requirement to fight off the government agents that will soon be coming for the guns. I'm not sure these people understand what a hellfire missile from a predator drone will do to the average white trash double wide. Pretty sure hand held firearms are impotent when your adversary is flying 400 miles per hour at 50,000 feet. Take solace my fellow peace niks though, at least they can't buy one of those nasty Gatling guns they put in the nose of an A10 Warthog, yet.

Dudleydidwrong December 20, 2012 at 11:43 am

"Take solace my fellow peace niks though, at least they can't buy one of those nasty Gatling guns they put in the nose of an A10 Warthog, yet."

Oh?
http://www.gatlingguns.net/

I know that this isn't the new type in the A10, but it'll do until the NRA gets that one approved for ownership and use as a "hunting weapon."

Wilcoxyz December 20, 2012 at 10:54 am

We could masculinize the schools by not educating girls or hiring women to teach. Plus that's so traditional and bible-y.

DemmeFatale December 20, 2012 at 11:46 am

and Sharia-y.

orygoon December 20, 2012 at 10:55 am

I'm just waking up and I already perceive a great need for kitten pictures.

Chet Kincaid_ December 20, 2012 at 10:56 am

Don't unload on me with your automatic comments thinking these are rhetorical questions, because they aren't: how exactly should gun laws be changed so that Lanza's mother did not own the guns he had access to? Outright ban, or what? Should we prohibit gun ownership for people who have others with mental problems in their households?

bikerlaureate December 20, 2012 at 11:40 am

Fingerprint-activated tr133er locks… that somehow don't work under duress.

So far I got nuthin' else.

not that Dewey December 20, 2012 at 11:49 am

Haha — "unload", "automatic"

1. Japanese-style gun laws.

2. "Gun insurance" policies, like car insurance liability policies, which take into account her dependents. Just as anyone in a household with potential access to the car can drive up the insurance rates for the primary driver, and although gun insurance may not be prohibitive to crazed shooters, the liability of a mentally-ill dependent may have placed gun insurance out of reach of the mother. Insurance companies are bastards with respect to digging around in people's trash.

3. Strict monitoring and reporting of guns and ammo, like for prescription pharmaceuticals.

These are just pulled out of my butt. Other nations, and other industries within this nation, have done a lot of the heavy lifting already.

Chet Kincaid_ December 20, 2012 at 12:21 pm

Thanks for the suggestions, Dudley and Dewey.

not that Dewey December 20, 2012 at 12:24 pm

We must break the big problem up into small problems, and solve the small problems. It's gonna require a continuum of solutions.

Dudleydidwrong December 20, 2012 at 11:51 am

Let's start somewhere:
1) Registration–all firearms must be registered (national database accessible by local authorities);
2) Taxation–weapons, clips, and ammunition to be federally taxed.

That would not have prevented Lanza's mother from possessing the weapons but might have made her think twice before purchasing her small arsenal, and might have given the local authorities some awareness of what was in their community.

DocChaos December 20, 2012 at 11:18 am

National Review was once once considered the preeminent journal of conservative thought before they started hiring women as writers and editors. Just sayin'.

SayItWithWookies December 20, 2012 at 11:20 am

So the pro-family National Review now says that if you have to choose between your guns and your family, choose your guns? What are moms supposed to do for their emotionally troubled young boys then — oh yeah — buy them a magazine and make them the editor, of course.

Steverino247 December 20, 2012 at 11:25 am

I'm tired of these celebrity endorsements for the arms industry. Ann Coulter writes about concealed carry, but declines to mention she's paid to do that. The cover taken by the likes of Coulter when her advice is taken–and things go horribly wrong–is that "I'm just an entertainer." Well, when another entertainer such as Martin Sheen comes out against something, he gets bashed for being just an entertainer. The media facilitates this bullshit, so that's where I'd start.

All persons asked to present opinions on the media will be required by law to state their paid interest, or the appearance of paid interest, before being put on the air.

There's got to be a connection between what the arms industry wants and the "entertainers" spouting opinions to deflect responsibility from that industry.

Also, the government and academia need to do a better job of explaining reality. You guys can't sit in your ivory towers any longer. You need to get out there and bash widely held (bullshit) beliefs. NASA's work on bashing 2012 hysteria is a good start.

HarryButtle December 20, 2012 at 11:25 am

My daughter's in 6th grade, she's 11. There isn't a single boy in her entire class big enough to give me even the slightest bit of trouble, and I'm a small unarmed man. This is fucking lunacy.

TribecaMike December 20, 2012 at 11:31 am

"like Phyllis Schlafly’s dumber, uglier cousin." Is that possible?

Edith_Prickly December 20, 2012 at 12:10 pm
TribecaMike December 20, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Yikes!

MegPasadena December 20, 2012 at 12:08 pm

Ms Allen only wishes she could be a man.

redarmyzombie December 20, 2012 at 11:09 pm

Penis envy?

Edith_Prickly December 20, 2012 at 12:09 pm

These people. Like any of them would do something other than crawl under the desk and pee their pants or bowl children and old people out of the way George Costanza-style if a gunman invaded their workplaces.

Severen13 December 20, 2012 at 12:12 pm

I'll take "Blame Everyone Except The Person Actually Who Is Actually Responsible For The Tragedy" for $500.00, Alex.

MegPasadena December 20, 2012 at 12:17 pm

According to Ms Allen,
- having illness out of anybody's control is a misfortune only for the parents.
- let the sick child take the full responsibility for such uncontrollable trouble.
- in order to stop the said child from getting to the guns, instead of getting rid of the guns, just throw the kid, who couldn't function in the society on his own, out of the house and starve him.
What a model mother for our great nation.

sullivanst December 20, 2012 at 12:30 pm

That's a nasty stomach virus Ms. Allen appears to have, given the copious quantities of excrement and vomitus she just produced.

Callyson December 20, 2012 at 12:49 pm

You have to say, “You can’t live here anymore — you’re an adult, and it’s time for you to be a man.

So, the answer is to make the kid homeless? Oh yeah, that makes a ton of sense…

redarmyzombie December 20, 2012 at 11:12 pm

I'm just sayin, if *I* had dipshit parents that pulled that on me, I'd totally break in their house and steal all their crap.

shelwood46 December 20, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Yeah, that principal "seemed" heroic, but a husky 12-year-old would have done a better job. (What a deluded asshole.)

Wile E. Quixote December 20, 2012 at 3:56 pm

“You can’t live here anymore — you’re an adult, and it’s time for you to be a man. We’ll give you all the support you need, but we won’t be enablers.” Unfortunately, the idea of being an “adult” and a “man” once one has reached physical maturity seems to have faded out of our coddling culture.

This is especially rich coming from a magazine that employs mommy's boy Jonah Goldberg, who was the basis for the character of Buster Bluth in Arrested Development.

Darthhippy December 20, 2012 at 6:31 pm

The adds are now permanently covering up pieces of your think writing.

ttommyunger December 20, 2012 at 8:30 pm

"…that there wasn’t a single male on the campus, not even a janitor to throw a trash can lid at Adam Lanza." Trash can lids, yeah, that's the ticket, yeah!

lulzmonger December 21, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Man oh man … poor widdle NRO's reality-repellant can needs a refill: the benighted twunt Ms. Allen has been getting full cold pimpslapped in those comments so raw she's gonna need a truss.

Couldn't happen to a nicer Anti-Sex League 2.0 freak.

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