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no avoiding the noidGuess where this was. No, guess! Did you guess? YAY you WIN because it was of course in Florida, the state that has decided to outsource the use of lethal force to its people (unless they are wearing hoodies, we assume).

Police said the incident unfolded about 4 p.m. inside [a] Little Caesars…after Randall White, 49, got mad about [the] service…This “prompted them to exchange words and it became a shoving match,” said police spokesman Mike Puetz.

White raised a fist. Jock, a concealed-weapons permit holder, pulled out a .38 Taurus Ultralight Special Revolver.

He fired one round, hitting White in the lower torso. The men grappled and the gun fired again, hitting White in roughly the same spot, police said.

How do you get a concealed carry permit in Florida, you might be wondering. Do they just give them out to any asshole? Yes, kind of, so long as the asshole is a US Citizen, has never been charged with felony, been arrested for drunk and disorderly, renounced his citizenship, or been caught beating his wife.

For the purposes of critical analysis, we can maybe compare the stringency of this background check to those required in Japan, where gun license applicants must pass a mental health exam and account for every round used at target practice or while hunting. And! You have to attend an all-day class, pass a written exam, pass an exam at a shooting range class, and pass a background check for criminal behavior AND association with criminal and extremist groups. When you finally get your new gun, you have to tell the police where in your home you’re keeping it, store it separately from the ammo, and take that safety class again in three years.

Also too, here is my favorite part of the Little Caesar’s shootout story:


After the shooting, both men went outside and waited for police.

Were they still fighting? Was the one guy — the one who was shot TWICE in the stomach — was he bleeding all over the place? Was it like when you’re a kid and you and your siblings are like WHEN MOM GETS HOME I’M GONNA TELL, or whatever? This is the part where we could have used more detail. Anyway, the police determined that “stand your ground” didn’t apply here, and arrested the shooter.

Which is sad, because shooting people who are yelling in pizza joints is exactly what the Tea Party Nation says you are supposed to do, to stop gun violence.

[Tampa Bay Times]

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