Sex beastThe last time we heard from potato-faced “sex” symbol Gerard Depardieu, he was peeing all over the aisle of an airplane because a stewardess didn’t wash his socks or something. Now he is peeing on the entire nation of France, because he doesn’t like paying his taxes. That’s right, France, your gain (of having Gerard Depardieu move to Belgium) is Belgium’s loss (having Gerard Depardieu move to Belgium).

We think we did the math right here. Depardieu says that this year, he paid 85 percent of his income in taxes, and that over the past 45 years he has paid 145 million Euros. If that 85 percent had been steady the whole time (which it was not; the new high 75 percent marginal rate for the super-rich is brand-new), that would have meant he had earned 170 million Euros and had been left with only 25 million Euros, which of course is reason enough for anyone to go Galt. Since French tax rates are not pictures of cats or celebrities, we were unable to find tax rates for the superwealthy over the last 50 years. But they were definitely less than 75 percent. Because, again, that is “new.”

Now, the only income we could find for Depardieu showed that he has made 19.3 million Euros (plus $5.5 million US, a combination which at this particular moment would be worth around $30 million US) since 2006. This does not count any income he might have made from his vineyards in Italy, France, Argentina, Morocco and Algeria. Or from his two Paris restaurants. Or like capital gains or whatever. That is only $5 million a year. And then France wants to tax it??? HOW IS GERARD DEPARDIEU EVEN SUPPOSED TO LIVE?

You guys, Gerard Depardieu is practically a pauper now. We can see why he would want to take his Newport Harbor boat parade and go home.


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  • nounverb911

    Will they even notice?

  • Barbara_

    Yikes, his face needs more work than Mount Rushmore. It looks like he was bobbing for fondue.

    • valgal2342

      But it is fun to pronounce his name… Gerard Depardieuuuuuuuuu!". Which I think translates as: penis nose.

  • glasspusher

    Holy smokes. Looks like he's blown up like a dead dog!

  • Loch_Nessosaur

    Big oaf.

  • hagajim

    At least he didn't Gerard Depardeuce on France.

  • snowpointsecret

    I guess the French had too much Meat Loaf by the looks of that picture.

    • BornInATrailer

      There ain't no way he's ever gonna pay that. Now he's just mad.. cuz 3 outta 4 is bad.

  • nounverb911

    What? Monaco wouldn't take him? They seem to take everyone else in Europe who has money.

    • glasspusher

      The Great Equalizer

    • savethispatient

      Yeah, or Switzerland, for that matter. The irony is that Belgium does have a lower top rate of tax – only 50%. Belgium is not a famous tax haven.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      He's nowhere near rich enough for Monaco.

  • Lui?

  • hagajim

    He's a smug looking little frog isn't he.

  • nounverb911

    Maybe when their taxes go up to 39%, the Koch boys will move to Belgium too, also.

    • MissTaken

      Fingers crossed!

  • He was robbed of an Oscar in 'Green Card', so will Irony strike as we now deny him one?

    • glasspusher

      If it's in France, there's a good chance that Irony is already on strike.

      • zippy_w_pinhead

        Always strike while the Irony is hot…

      • TribecaMike

        Droit Jerry Lewis?

  • noodlesalad

    How the fuck does this guy make $30 mil in a few years? Worst Columbus EVAH

  • DixvilleCrotch

    I liked him in Life of Pi / Pee though.

  • CrunchyKnee

    Dudes been eating his profits.

  • chascates

    There seems to be an actual correlation between plumping up like a fat Marlon Brandon and then doing crazy shit like he did.

    • glasspusher

      Correlation does not imply causation, but I'll try to stay thin nonetheless.

    • glasspusher

      Bomb Voyage!

  • IncenseDebate

    gros cochon!

  • Boojum

    It looks like he should combine some of this with this.

  • Pragmatist2

    The French are always arguing with their government. DeGaulle said "It is impossible to govern a country with 246 varieties of cheese."

    • JustPixelz

      Especially if one of those cheeses is named "Gerard Departdieu".

    • Negropolis

      DeGaulle was just pissed that he couldn't formalize his dictatorship and personality cult, to be honest.

  • edgydrifter

    Le meh.

  • LesBontemps

    From his picture, I'm guessing his move to Belgiun was actually motivated by the waffles.

    • BornInATrailer

      And to be able to load his pomme frites avec mayo without being shunned.

  • cousinitt

    Frankly, the miserable fat Belgian bastards deserve him.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Gerard Depart/adieu.

  • Baconzgood

    That's a lotta My Father the Hero moola.

  • MissTaken

    This is so sad, you guys. Now when he pees on an airplane, it will be in coach. Sacre bleu!

  • slithytoves

    Since French tax rates are not pictures of cats or celebrities, we were unable to find tax rates for the superwealthy over the last 50 years.

    I'm using that at the next meeting when someone asks me a question!

  • Il y avait trois hommes une fois, mais maintenent il ne reste que le bébé.

    • glasspusher

      "The French don't have a word for 'entepreneur' "- George W Bush

    • Oops — I was certain enough not to look it up, but I had thought Depardieu starred in the original French version of Three Men and a Baby — apparently he did not. Anyway, the statement above ("There used to be three men, but now there's only the baby") would've made a lot more sense in that context.

      • TavariousChinaSmith

        Your mistake is forgiven: there was a time in the 80s when he seemed to be in every single film made in France. It was incroyable.

    • TavariousChinaSmith

      Speaking of which, il a un foie gras.

  • IncenseDebate

    You'd think he'd love surrendering his taxes. Because French.

  • TootsStansbury

    So how is sour grape wine? Anybody tried it?

    • mormos

      Surprisingly bitter

  • ProgressiveInga

    I'm sure there are many acting roles in Belgium for men with a nose like a penis.

    • sullivanst

      Given one of Belgium's most famous landmarks, both his nose and his aviation habits suggest he'll fit right in.

  • Crank_Tango

    Um, doesn't Belgium have even higher taxes than France? Or is that just for po folks. On the plus side, it's even closer to Amsterdam and has some great beer.

  • zippy_w_pinhead

    France bids adieu to Depardieu…

  • BornInATrailer

    I can't decide if the crease at the end of his nose makes the nose look more like a butt or a dick.

    • MissTaken

      The rest of the nose looks like a little shaft, so I'm going with dick.

    • larrykat

      Cock, for sure.

  • Baconzgood

    Fat washed up actor leaving France? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!

  • poorgradstudent

    The last time someone in France did this (it was some business magnate whose name I'm too lazy to search for) a large segment of the press, even the center-right newspapers, called him out for neglecting his patriotic duty, even treason. I'd be surprised if Depardieu doesn't get the same reaction just because he's an actor.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Actually, PM Ayrault did call him out.

      • So did quite a few other legislators and a few other actors, even. (This has been all over the French-language teevee news for the last week.)

  • Allmighty_Manos

    Tip O' Neill really let himself go

  • WTF is happening to Wonkette??? First kitten photos every other post and now news about a foreign guy, a FROG no less????

    • I have absolutely no idea what you could possibly be talking about.
      However, to go O/T on your OT: yesterday your little wisecracks during the most teeth-gnashing topics of discourse that otherwise might see me bloody-eyeballed like Daria's dad, got me laughing plenty; my funnybone thanks you~

    • snowpointsecret

      When most of the US news lately is related to someone shooting a bunch of kids in a school, maybe looking abroad for snark is a good thing.

  • ttommyunger

    So, France has its own Donald Trump?

  • freakishlywrong

    I'm glad to see that France has it's share of randian, tax dodging fucking plutocrats as well. Unfortunately, it works out a little differently for them in France.

  • Whollyholeyholy

    Being way too serious, I used to live in France and know a lot of people there. One is a Belgian who wanted to stay in the US after his expat assignment was cut short. An American accountant looked into everything and told him to go back–his take home pay would amount to more there, when considering how much he would have to spend out of pocket on things that are taxpayer funded in France. He (and family) left.

  • Baconzgood

    Looking at him is a case FOR pasturising cheese for some reason.

    • larrykat

      And having your old chimney tuck-pointed.

  • Baconzgood

    That dude has a dick where his nose should be.

    • DahBoner

      Ze French mak louve with ze mouth.

      • Baconzgood

        Owen Wilson syndrome.

    • TavariousChinaSmith
      • Baconzgood

        I feel slightly hurt that you included a link to that snark. Like Baconz don't know who Cyrano DeBergerac is? That stings.

        • TavariousChinaSmith

          Oh, Baconz! Of course you know. Some other less worldly Wonketteers might only know the story through Roxanne and would thus miss out on the whole Depardieu tie-in. Never Baconz, though.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    He's sort of like the Mel Gibson of France, isn't he? Once young, handsome, universally admired; now old, bloated, bitter and undertaking bizarre meltdowns in public.

    • larrykat

      plus jews

  • zippy_w_pinhead

    "Now he is peeing on the entire nation of France"

    maybe they got stung by a jellyfish…

  • DahBoner

    I loved his role in The Life of Pi where he played a French asshole.

    But now it looks like he wasn't "acting"…

  • BornInATrailer

    You know who else thought the best way to circumvent the French government was a trip to Belgium?

  • RevNimshi

    You need to cut back on the Foie Brah

  • ProgressiveInga

    I would like to take this opportunity to personally invite another great French actor, Catherine Denueve, to move into my house. "Catherine, call me!"

  • southernboyman

    Well damn, who doesn't want to pee on France?

    • TribecaMike

      Eleanor of Aquitaine?

  • Whollyholeyholy

    He's more Javert than Valjean, non?

    • BornInATrailer

      I think he'd have to play Sweatpant Valsweatpant now.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Fucking Belgians deserve this peice of shit.

  • Goonemeritus

    Say what you want about France but at least it isn’t Belgium. Belgium is only famous for two things, chocolate and pedophiles and they only make the chocolate to attract the kids.

    • zippy_w_pinhead

      what about the waffles?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      And the Belgians are nothing more than French, with an occasional bath mixed in.

    • Wile E. Quixote

      How unfair, if it weren't for the Belgians and the civilizing influence they bought to the Congo we wouldn't have Heart of Darkness or Apocalypse Now.

    • Fuck Toad

      Lambic libel!

  • chascates

    Think instead of the young Depardieu, 10 million croissants ago:

    • shelwood46

      He was never really attractive. His whole appeal was his charisma, which seems to have disappeared completely.

    • larrykat

      He has a nice rack in those photos.

      • chascates

        I think that's a female between Depardieu and that other guy.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Guess he's going DeGault?

  • DalePues

    les miserables

  • rickmaci

    Check me that I got this correct. There are actually people not related to him that actually give a flying fuk what happens to Gerard Depardieu?

    • PinkoMoonbat

      Sort of. They say he's a dick. Not sure I'd go so far as to call it a flying fuck.

  • larrykat

    Potato libel.

  • larrykat

    Don't let le portre hit you in your fat le ass on the way out.

  • Gerard's face was on fire and someone put it out with a golf shoe.

  • BornInATrailer

    Cyrano de Big Mac?
    Green Liver?
    My Father Likes Heros?

  • I<3Radio

    I like when Innanity, et. al. point shit like this out and compare this to raising the marginal rates by 3.6%.

  • Poindexter718

    Can't wait to see the Teatards adopt a tights wearing French actor as their new poster boy (or, as they will be compelled to call him, their "garçon d'affiche").

  • Wile E. Quixote

    The great thing about moving to Belgium is that when the Krauts go one one of their periodic rampages and get all invady and shit you don't have to wait as long for the Panzers to start rolling through your country.

    • HistoriCat

      That is sooo 20th century. These days they just loan-shark the money and then set up puppet governments. Sure, it's not as exciting as machine gunning peasants but you get a much different response from the British.

  • Kitty_Sanchez

    He looks familiar. Wait…is this the guy who plays Shrek?

  • elviouslyqueer

    Mange de la merde, Gerard! Va te faire foutre, aussi.

    • PinkoMoonbat

      It has been suggested that he should do exactly that. Also that if you leave the country for tax avoidance purposes you never ever get to change your mind and come back.

  • TribecaMike

    Why would a vineyard owner move to beer country? Je suis confus.

  • So what? All the rock stars everybody loves fled England in the '70s over taxes too. And don't get George Harrison started.

  • Jerry Lewis may be big in France, but Gerard Depardieu is hippopotamic in any country.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Stupid Frog. Yes, I'm qualified to say that.

  • Beowoof

    Oh if I had to choose it would be Cecile deFrance from Hearafter. Cecile, call me.

  • BoroPrimorac

    However the minister of culture, Aurelie Filippetti, joined her Socialist colleagues who criticised the actor's decision on Sunday. She said he was "deserting the field in the middle of a war against the [economic] crisis," and that "French citizenship is an honour, and includes rights and also duties, which include the ability to pay taxes."

    This right here, Progressives.

  • TribecaMike

    No homme is an island, though some are as large as an island.

  • Dashboard Buddha

    Fucker has a lot of Gaul.

    • I'm going to be Franc, I think he's in Seine

      • Dashboard Buddha

        I wish he and France could just make Amiens.

        • Negropolis

          France doesn't have much Toulouse in all of this. They should kick him in the Nice; that'll bring him down to size.

    • TribecaMike

      Languedoc? I hardly know her!

  • TavariousChinaSmith

    Is there still room in Belgium for Mitt Romney?

  • "L'avare, c'est Moi."

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