C-WORD  10:15 am December 19, 2012

Newport Beach Yacht Owners: What Could A Dock Cost? A Hundred Dollars?

by snipy

he blue himselfNewport Beach yacht owners are having the most massively petulant sad because — with their silt-filled harbor undredged since World War II and their seawalls crumbling — the City Council has to raise money to pay for its at-risk infrastructure. This means the yacht owners will no longer be able to pay … wait for it … one hundred dollars a year for their slip rental. For their triple-decker yachts.

But this has been a stressful season here along the tranquil waterfront lined with multimillion-dollar homes.

An increase in city rental fees for residential docks that protrude over public tidelands created a furor when it was approved last week by the City Council.

It also prompted a call to boycott the boat parade and festival of lights by a group calling itself “Stop the Dock Tax.”

“It costs us thousands of dollars to voluntarily decorate our homes and boats to bring holiday smiles to nearly 1 million people,” organization Chairman Bob McCaffrey wrote to the city. “This year, we are turning off our lights and withdrawing our boats in protest of the massive new dock tax we expect the City Council to levy.”

Bob McCaffrey is going to take his Christmas parade and go home! Where he will not put up lights for the birth of our lord and savior, the baby Jesus! Because someone somewhere needs him to pay for the thing he’s been getting for almost free! Why does the Newport Beach City Council hate Christ?

The city’s five-year plan for the harbor calls for $29 million in long-overdue maintenance. Its silt-filled channels haven’t been fully dredged since the Great Depression. Ancient, leaky sea walls protecting neighborhoods need to be repaired or replaced.

“We have the makings of a perfect storm like they did on the East Coast” during Superstorm Sandy,” said Chris Miller, the city’s harbor resources manager. “The sea walls are nearing the end of their useful life.”

How will these individuals that own multimillion-dollar homes on the ocean ever afford up to $3,200 per year to dock their fancy yacht-boats? How will you plebes live without holiday smiles?

Play us out, Kevin Drum:
theres-always-money-in-the-banana-stand

No matter how well they do—and the rich have done very, very well over the past few decades—their blood boils at the thought of contributing so much as an extra dime to public coffers, even if the money is specifically earmarked to improve their own communities.

We know where they could find some money.

[Los Angeles Times/Mother Jones]

 
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{ 180 comments }

snowpointsecret December 19, 2012 at 10:18 am

Okay, say they block the seawall getting built and a hurricane comes in. Then they lose the much more expensive yachts. I have a feeling these people inherited their money, since they show a total lack of ability to think ahead.

not that Dewey December 19, 2012 at 10:21 am

Don't worry — FEMA will cover the cost of a replacement yacht.

boobookitteh December 19, 2012 at 10:26 am

We should set them all adrift on a FEMA re-education yacht.

HistoriCat December 19, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Oh please oh please oh please – yes!

Spurning Beer December 19, 2012 at 10:33 am

They're technically second homes to qualify for the mortgage interest deduction.

Rebootably_Joe December 19, 2012 at 10:33 am

I have a feeling these people inherited their money, since they show a total lack of ability to think ahead

Why do you say that? They could easily just be, y'know, your average CEO.

actor212 December 19, 2012 at 11:04 am

Cause-and-effect is lost on these folks.

UnholyMoses December 19, 2012 at 10:18 am

The desire the rich have to take away the last crumbs from the poor is stronger than any envy the poor have had for the excesses of the rich.

Maman December 19, 2012 at 10:19 am

It totally blows being rich this year.

LesBontemps December 19, 2012 at 10:46 am

Nevertheless, I wouldn't mind having the opportunity to weep softly into my Perrier Jouet while the house staff prepares foie gras and filet mignon.

miss_grundy December 19, 2012 at 11:05 am

As long as I could play with all my Apple toys, my big screen tv, and knowing I make more in interest than I will ever need…that would more than satisfy me. I'm really lusting for an iPad 4 and the mini iPad and trying to win both through every giveaway I can find…

actor212 December 19, 2012 at 10:48 am

They should gift the money to the more deserving. Like me.

I'll share, don't worry.

Lizzietish81 December 19, 2012 at 10:19 am

You know who else refused to pay for his own shit?

snowpointsecret December 19, 2012 at 10:20 am

Mitt Romney?

eggsacklywright December 19, 2012 at 10:23 am

Piero Manzoni?

Gleem McShineys December 19, 2012 at 3:20 pm

"Can it, buddy!"

mrpuma2u December 19, 2012 at 10:29 am

Oliver Cromwell?

Dashboard Buddha December 19, 2012 at 11:02 am

A curse upon him

SigDeFlyinMonky December 19, 2012 at 11:36 am

Traditional Irish Coffee recipe begins "You start with coffee as black as Cromwell's heart…."

Negropolis December 19, 2012 at 9:52 pm

Speaking of the devil, why is it still a debate in England about whether or not he was a dictator?

Rebootably_Joe December 19, 2012 at 10:34 am

Thomas Crapper?

Negropolis December 19, 2012 at 10:36 am

Herbert Hoover?

memzilla December 19, 2012 at 10:40 am

Every teenager who's ever been, or will be, born on the planet?

SayItWithWookies December 19, 2012 at 10:49 am

The wedding guests at Cana?

BaldarTFlagass December 19, 2012 at 11:03 am

That cheap fucking cousin of mine?

FlownOver December 19, 2012 at 11:04 am

Woody Allen at the San Marcos deli in Bananas?

SorosBot December 19, 2012 at 11:06 am

Minnie the Moocher?

Callyson December 19, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Four-times bankrupt Donald Trump?

HelmutNewton December 19, 2012 at 2:46 pm

All of them, Katie!

TribecaMike December 19, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Bob Cratchit?

Mumbletypeg December 19, 2012 at 10:19 am

How many yachts
Could a boycott cott
If a boycott could cott yachts?

Other'n that, I got nothin'

fatbob54 December 19, 2012 at 10:46 am

There once was a rich prick from Newport
Who was representative of his cohort
He wouldn’t pay for his mooring
If it meant taxes soaring
So Newport turned into No Port

PuckStopsHere December 19, 2012 at 10:20 am

Maybe the could work an extra shift or two at MacDonalds on Christmas to make the money they will need to pay the tax.

Gratuitous World December 19, 2012 at 10:20 am

And that's why…you never interview a petulant millionaire about a small, common-sense tax increase.

MOG2410 December 19, 2012 at 10:25 am

Or use "common sense tax increase" when talking with them. heh.

Nibbler of Niblonia December 19, 2012 at 10:21 am

these people are being so dramatic it makes me want to set myself on fire

HouseOfTheBlueLights December 19, 2012 at 10:22 am

These people are being so dramatic it makes me want to set them on fire.

#fixt

Lizzietish81 December 19, 2012 at 10:23 am

That's counter productive you should set them on fire…

with votes.

flipdraw December 19, 2012 at 10:27 am

Look at what the homosexuals have done to me, Michael.

Nibbler of Niblonia December 19, 2012 at 11:34 am

they couldn't just blow that out?

Goonemeritus December 19, 2012 at 10:38 am

My favorite line (from a Wonkette poster) on this subject was.

“People who use hyperbolic political rhetoric to make a point are just like Hitler”

eggsacklywright December 19, 2012 at 10:47 am

Yeah, and all generalizations are wrong.

YasserArraFeck December 19, 2012 at 11:06 am

Could you do it down on the Newport waterfront, you know, for the excitement and sparkle, now that the bazillionaires are sulking in their mansions?

not that Dewey December 19, 2012 at 12:03 pm

Literally?

athirson December 19, 2012 at 12:27 pm

The idle rich need something to do with themselves. It gets boring sitting at the dock of the bay, wasting time

CindynEncinitas December 19, 2012 at 12:54 pm

This has set the conversation at the Balboa Bay Club on FIRE! The vitriol! The outrage! The spitting and cursing! The insolence! The indignant dashing of the shrimp fork to the floor! They are savaging their wait staff and valets! You will rue the day, petty functionaries. RUE THE DAY!

Negropolis December 19, 2012 at 10:21 am

Wait, so you're telling me they are taking their boats and going home?

DahBoner December 19, 2012 at 10:27 am

You should see the dollies and dishes on those things. Everything is nailed down.

Nibbler of Niblonia December 19, 2012 at 10:22 am

there's always money in the dock tax

SorosBot December 19, 2012 at 10:41 am
eggsacklywright December 19, 2012 at 10:22 am

Well. I'm taking my yacht and going home. Nyah.

Oblios_Cap December 19, 2012 at 10:29 am

Sitting on the (unrepaired) dock of the bay
watching the yachts sail away…

HouseOfTheBlueLights December 19, 2012 at 10:22 am

How about if they donate all that money they're saving on the boat parade and decorations.

WhatTheHolyHeck December 19, 2012 at 10:38 am

But that's for the community. The extra tax goes through a wormhole in space directly to the Kremlin in 1966.

CindynEncinitas December 19, 2012 at 12:55 pm

To what? They are doing the boat parade for the enjoyment of OTHERS!

Nibbler of Niblonia December 19, 2012 at 10:22 am

where once there was a yacht, now…there is…..nacht! heyyyyyy!

stefanbc December 19, 2012 at 10:23 am

So I have to pay $165 per month to park my Honda in a garage in Long Beach but James Van Smitheringcock the IV only has to drop a c-note to have his floating cocaine palace safely interred in the Newport Docks?

This is make me so upset that I'm gonna stop selling his wife those Mexican diet pills she loves so much.

GhostBuggy December 19, 2012 at 10:33 am

Yes, but how many jerbs have you created?

An_Outhouse December 19, 2012 at 11:32 am

Don't punish her, just raise the price.

OzoneTom December 19, 2012 at 10:23 am

These NewPorsche Beach moochers are causing me to revisit my earlier view that rising sea levels are an entirely bad thing.

Nibbler of Niblonia December 19, 2012 at 10:23 am

they should just sail their yachts to portugal, down ol south america way

Disassembly December 19, 2012 at 10:23 am

Nothing brings the baby Jesus a bigger smile than an opulently decorated yacht.

PubOption December 19, 2012 at 10:39 am

Camel. Eye of needle. Socialism!

MOG2410 December 19, 2012 at 10:24 am

Was out there on business two weeks ago, walking around Balboa Island, signs on almost every dock – Stop the Dock Tax!!! Background – massive, CA-style Christmasa decorations, wine bottles opening and the low chuckling of the rich.

mrpuma2u December 19, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Were they home made signs? Or perhaps signs that were made professionally, and might have cost more than, say, oh, a hundred dollars???

MOG2410 December 19, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Home-made??? heh, not a chance. Nicely done by some poor slob in Irvine, no doubt.

Goonemeritus December 19, 2012 at 10:25 am

When will the tyranny of making people pay for the services they receive end.

DahBoner December 19, 2012 at 10:25 am

“It costs us thousands of dollars to voluntarily decorate our homes and boats to bring holiday smiles to nearly 1 million people,”

You people are lucky they even decorate their multi-million dollar boats for you bastards…

fatbob54 December 19, 2012 at 10:50 am

They're not smiling with you, they're smiling at you. While they're sharpening their machetes. With votes.

Dashboard Buddha December 19, 2012 at 11:01 am

Yeah…but I bet having proper flood control and strong seawalls will bring smiles to a lot more.

bikerlaureate December 19, 2012 at 11:14 am

$3100 increase / 999,000 smiles = who the fsck do you think you're kidding, Bob McCaffery?

eggsacklywright December 19, 2012 at 10:25 am

So, some dock-sucking will ensue?

GhostBuggy December 19, 2012 at 10:36 am

Yes, just before the rear admiral gets there.

Nibbler of Niblonia December 19, 2012 at 10:26 am

they don't mind losing their tripple-decker yacht to a hurricane because they've got a quadruple-decker's worth of insurance on it

Jus_Wonderin December 19, 2012 at 10:27 am

No Christmas Smiles for the common folk. Well, unless they want to pay for it. Why do the wealthy feel so entitled?

HRH_Maddie December 19, 2012 at 10:27 am

How dare you make me pay a fair rate for a service I need and use!!

freakishlywrong December 19, 2012 at 10:27 am

Yacht to Somalia, assholes. And I hope the pirates get you.

BaldarTFlagass December 19, 2012 at 10:28 am

They should just buy surplus assault landing craft and convert them to yachts. Then they could just park on any old beach they wanted.

HRH_Maddie December 19, 2012 at 10:28 am

I guess these guys are the 47% Romney was talking about.

Oblios_Cap December 19, 2012 at 10:28 am

So…The rich yacht owners expect people who won't get any tangible benefits to pay for the infrastructure repairs that would make their boat docking a more pleasant experience.

What a bunch of fucking crybabies. I miss the old days, when the Emperor could proscribe familes and confiscate their assets, for the Empire.

NellCote71 December 19, 2012 at 11:42 am

And cut off their heads. With votes, of course.

elviouslyqueer December 19, 2012 at 10:28 am

“It costs us thousands of dollars to voluntarily decorate our homes and boats to bring holiday smiles to nearly 1 million people,” organization Chairman Bob McCaffrey wrote to the city. “This year, we are turning off our lights and withdrawing our boats in protest of the massive new dock tax we expect the City Council to levy.”

It bears repeating, but somewhere, a queen is sorely missing her drama.

mrpuma2u December 19, 2012 at 10:28 am

Typical elite class, sponging off of the gubmint they allegedly despise.

LocalGirlMakesGoo December 19, 2012 at 10:30 am

This would never happen in Galt's Gulch.

BaldarTFlagass December 19, 2012 at 10:31 am

Hope that guy didn't get his anchor scratched.

glasspusher December 19, 2012 at 10:59 am

Seafood?

fatbob54 December 19, 2012 at 2:09 pm

The last time I saw a mouth like that it had a hook in it.

prommie December 19, 2012 at 10:32 am

Everybody knows the game is rigged. You have to be a fucking sucker to keep playing a crooked game. What the fuck have I wasted my life for?

carlgt1 December 19, 2012 at 10:33 am

wow, just when I thought I couldn't hate Orange County RepugliKKKans even more – from screaming at kids & parents at a mosque; to the sanctimonious fat hypocrite Rick Warren's zillion dollar church, now this!

DemmeFatale December 19, 2012 at 11:09 am

Fucking O.C. and their "white people's problems."
I just came back from Mexico. Wait till they find out there are no footrests on the planes in business class!

SigDeFlyinMonky December 19, 2012 at 11:55 am

Don't forget the TBN scandal and TV preachers buying $100,000 motorhome for their dogs.

CindynEncinitas December 19, 2012 at 12:59 pm

We'll all just have to console ourselves by marveling at the million Christmas lights in the TBN parking lot. Holy. Shit.

LibertyLover December 19, 2012 at 10:33 am

Sweet Baby Jesus! That's some fine whiny ass titty baby complaining!

Gratuitous World December 19, 2012 at 10:53 am

Him?

GhostBuggy December 19, 2012 at 10:33 am

We don't need your yacht dock scene, ya freak bitch!

SorosBot December 19, 2012 at 10:34 am

Come on now, the town's poor and middle class are supposed to pay for amenities used by the very rich. Haven't we learned anything from our sports stadiums?

Rebootably_Joe December 19, 2012 at 10:39 am

Back in the day, we called that sort of arrangement, "feudalism". Nowadays, though, we understand that the REAL road to serfdom is universal health care and a system of progressive taxation. Or, apparently, luxury taxes to fund the preservation of said luxuries, or really, any taxation for the rich at all.

SorosBot December 19, 2012 at 10:50 am

In wingut-land, avoiding feudalism somehow destroys freedom, and is actually fascism, which is the same thing as communist. No it doesn't make any sense; but then it's not supposed to.

Rebootably_Joe December 19, 2012 at 11:00 am

Thing is, paying for the shit you, yourself, use isn't even an "economic system", per se. Most of the time, it's just called civilization.

larrykat December 19, 2012 at 10:35 am

$100?!? Fuck I paid $800 per summer 10 years ago for my pontoon boat on a lake in Wisconsin.

fatbob54 December 19, 2012 at 10:53 am

It's an outrage!. You should stop amusing the locals by boycotting the opening of Walleye season this year!

larrykat December 19, 2012 at 10:57 am

Your knowledge of Wisconsin fishing is suspicious, Fat Bob. But I just might do that – my war cry will be "White Bass only!"

Baconzgood December 19, 2012 at 10:35 am

Jesus! We had a cabin cruser on the Mon River when I was a kid and we paied way over 100 a month. Bitchy Rich ass holes.

SorosBot December 19, 2012 at 10:36 am

Those poor rich people did so much working, hiring groups of undocumented immigrants below minimum wage to decorate their yachts for them.

weejee December 19, 2012 at 10:37 am
Poindexter718 December 19, 2012 at 10:37 am

City ought to privatize the boat dock concession; let the invisible hand of the market bitch-slap these yachties.

DocChaos December 19, 2012 at 11:16 am

I'd prefer a free market solution without the middle-man – just auction dock slips every year.

SuspectedDemocrat December 19, 2012 at 12:32 pm

I'd go just to watch. Maybe carry a sign – "VICTORY! WE STOPPED THE DOCK TAX!"

OneYieldRegular December 19, 2012 at 1:35 pm

You'll be able to have your yacht valet parked by an actual Romney for only $800.

larrykat December 19, 2012 at 10:38 am

If they really wanted to entertain millions they could take their yachts offshore and all take turns jumping overboard.

SuspectedDemocrat December 19, 2012 at 10:44 am

They're good Republicans. I'm sure they wouldn't mind paying fees that cover dredging, sea wall repair, and a healthy profit for the shareholders.

TootsStansbury December 19, 2012 at 10:38 am

Fuck you richies (someone who pays for a slip). Let the harbor silt up and go to hell.

actor212 December 19, 2012 at 11:02 am

Bingo. Let's see them run their boats around, showing off their little holiday lights on sand bars.

rickmaci December 19, 2012 at 12:12 pm

Actually, if left to nature, that part of the coast line would return to a wetlands and we would have a far superior protective barrier from storm surges.

BaldarTFlagass December 19, 2012 at 10:39 am

Hundred bucks won't even get you a three hour tour.

actor212 December 19, 2012 at 11:01 am

I can get an around-the-world for that in some neighborhoods in Brooklyn.

But it doesn't include a tip. Or a visit to the free clinic afterwards.

memzilla December 19, 2012 at 10:39 am

O/T, but yes, Sen. Inouye will be buried at Punchbowl.

Negropolis December 19, 2012 at 10:40 am

This whole habor can be shipped to Afghanistan, no one has lost any.

Blueb4sinrise December 19, 2012 at 10:40 am

Jizz at Newport.

MilwaukeeKent December 19, 2012 at 10:41 am

Every now and then a story comes along that put's the problems of the world in perspective. This isn't that story. Fuckin' whiners.

Rebootably_Joe December 19, 2012 at 10:41 am

Let bears pay the Bear Tax! I pay the Homer tax.

Estproph December 19, 2012 at 10:42 am

Why can't the Bermuda Triangle extend to Newport Beach?

CrunchyKnee December 19, 2012 at 10:42 am

Time to sink their ships, with "votes" made of canon balls.

Severen13 December 19, 2012 at 10:42 am

***“It costs us thousands of dollars to voluntarily decorate our homes and boats to bring holiday smiles to nearly 1 million people,” organization Chairman Bob McCaffrey wrote to the city. “This year, we are turning off our lights and withdrawing our boats in protest of the massive new dock tax we expect the City Council to levy.”***

Dear Bob,

Boo-Fucking-Hoo.

Love and kisses,
The City Council

CindynEncinitas December 19, 2012 at 1:03 pm

They spend thousands of dollars decorating homes that are situated behind gates guarded by armed security and really, how many lights can you cram onto a boat, any boat. And anyway this money comes from what line item in their household budget?

PubOption December 19, 2012 at 10:43 am

If you can dock your boat somewhere else, and pay less, then move your boat. If not the free market has spoken.

DesertTed December 19, 2012 at 10:43 am

The probably just want a little Socialism thrown their way by having the Federal Government pay for it.

second_gen December 19, 2012 at 10:44 am

Bought a boat once. It came with a "complimentary discount" on 1 year at the Yacht club in which the original owner docked it. That was the WORST 1 year of our lives. Made us hate the boat. Snobby bastards. The next year, we put in at the municipal marina for 1/4 the cost. Much nicer people. Plus, our tiny little 30 footer was akin to us parking a house trailer in the suburbs.

BaldarTFlagass December 19, 2012 at 10:49 am

Once on the train from Milan to Venice, I shared a compartment with a American yacht appurtenance salesman who was on his way to a convention. I asked him what kind of boat a yacht appurtenance salesman had, and he told me "None; if it floats, flies, or fucks, it's cheaper to rent it."

BerkeleyBear December 19, 2012 at 11:30 am

Definition of a yacht – a hole in the water you throw money at.

Seriously, the higher end you go the more absurd the upkeep gets. Buy a fucking fiberglass low end boat and it lasts forever – high end beautiful sail craft, by comparison, rotting from the day it is made.

second_gen December 19, 2012 at 12:34 pm

Two greatest days in a boat owner's life.

1. The day they buy it.

2. The day they sell it.

So glad I don't have that money pit anymore. :)

BigSkullF*ckingDog December 19, 2012 at 10:44 am

Still waiting for these fuckheads to just go Galt already.

MacRaith December 19, 2012 at 10:44 am

And how many of those yachts are registered in the Caymans, allowing their owners to dodge paying any property tax on them?

Caradeloca December 19, 2012 at 10:45 am

Let em keep the dock deal, but let's stop using tax dollars to guarantee their home insurance for those multi-million dollar oceanfront homes.

mrblifil December 19, 2012 at 10:46 am

It's a slippery slope because basically every dollar any of us earn is the by-product of drug money laundering X prostitution to the power of Somalian warlord child armies. So yeah if you benignly agree to pay a higher fees, it's pretty much an invitation to the poors to gather en masse for some cool throat slitting parties. Party on Garth!

BaldarTFlagass December 19, 2012 at 10:47 am

I wonder where Wonkette poster C Thurston Howell III is. I'd like to hear his thoughts on this.

glasspusher December 19, 2012 at 11:03 am

Really. Maybe it hits too close to home and he is sobbing and/or laughing too hard to comment.

Sharkey December 19, 2012 at 10:47 am

Better get used to coughing up some dough, rich people.

christianmuslin December 19, 2012 at 10:48 am

The docking tax, is that the same as slip rental? In Washington, DC it used to be $100 per foot based on boat, yacht, length. Maybe it is time to bring those Somalian pirates over here so we don't have to sail all the way over there.

Negropolis December 19, 2012 at 10:51 am

First, they came for the Yacht owners, and I said nothing, because I'll never own a yacht…

Wadisay December 19, 2012 at 10:53 am

Next week, the Newport Beach Tea Party, where they dress up in tuxes and top hats and throw Mexican dwarfs overboard.

Sharkey December 19, 2012 at 10:54 am

Would it work? Would people do it? I have no idea.

SayItWithWookies December 19, 2012 at 10:56 am

What's wrong with using eminent domain to confiscate one of the rich mothrerfucker's houses, sell it and use that to pay for the seawall and dredging? Hell, if they can take middle class people's houses so they can build a mall, then they can fuck with the rich too.

LACorvus December 19, 2012 at 10:58 am

Oh, Oscar, you really don't care!

freakishlywrong December 19, 2012 at 10:58 am

What's "Yachttie" for "guillotine", mateys?

TootsStansbury December 19, 2012 at 11:13 am

Hang them from the yardarm of course.

fatbob54 December 19, 2012 at 11:54 am

Well, there's "keel hauling" and "walking the plank" .

mavenmaven December 19, 2012 at 10:59 am

Take your undockable boat on a three hour tour, Thurston.

BaldarTFlagass December 19, 2012 at 11:01 am

Newport Beach should just be glad that the Stop the Dock Tax organization chairman isn't Emilio Largo. Fuckin' Disco Volante has the best slip in the marina, and Largo and his other organization don't take no shit.

glasspusher December 19, 2012 at 11:02 am

Not putting up christmas lights as a bargaining chip. Now that's rich!

DixvilleCrotch December 19, 2012 at 11:04 am

They could run a maudlin ad asking for donations…

"For just 30 cents a day, less than the cost of a Werther's Original, you can help a needy yacht owner this holiday season…"

Toomush_Infer December 19, 2012 at 11:07 am

Having sat on a Harbor Commission for 5 years once, I remember the only constant thought I had the entire mental cement duration – Screw the Rich…

I<3Radio December 19, 2012 at 11:08 am

I've said this before and I'll say it again: The super rich are the cheapest, most whiny and paranoid lot among us.

Aridzona December 19, 2012 at 11:13 am

Boat elevators would be a prudent and cost effective solution.

TristramBlandy December 19, 2012 at 11:13 am

There's always money in the banana stand.

bikerlaureate December 19, 2012 at 11:16 am

Does that tax apply to those using the VIP entrance to the harbor?

ManchuCandidate December 19, 2012 at 11:18 am

It's been said many times, many ways… FUCK THE RICH WELFARE ASSHOLES.

Mojopo December 19, 2012 at 11:24 am

The approach is all wrong. You have to make the payments seem exclusive. Those who cannot pay must be made to look like they can't afford to pay. Don't invite people to the seawall club and then see what happens.

An_Outhouse December 19, 2012 at 11:29 am

I have a shit filled cess pool where they can park their boats for free. Contact me: stinky at fecalpit dot net

Tommmcatt_Again December 19, 2012 at 11:46 am

HahHaha, have you been to Newport Beach? The women there are ageless in the same way a lump of polystyrene is ageless- that is, their lips, breasts, and cheekbones will live on long after humanity is a distant memory. And have you been to Fashion Island, their "destination mall"? If you've ever doubted consumerism is a religion in the United States, a quick trip to this garish temple of overpriced garbage will clear that up for you right quick.

In short, this doesn't surprise me one bit.

deanbooth December 19, 2012 at 11:48 am

Lucky Dockees!!

rickmaci December 19, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Let them eat quiche!

ttommyunger December 19, 2012 at 12:07 pm

“It costs us thousands of dollars to voluntarily decorate our homes and boats to bring holiday smiles to nearly 1 million people…” You see, simply paying one's taxes does not qualify as "conspicuous consumption" in the game of "my holiday light dick is bigger than your holiday light dick" game. I would classify these people as whiny cunts, but that would be an insult to perfectly useful cunts everywhere.

randcoolcatdaddy December 19, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Scrooge McStingey's deserve only milk and a cheese sandwich.

Biff December 19, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Fucking boat people, man…

athirson December 19, 2012 at 12:30 pm

Never a torpedo-armed submarine around when you need one.

Darthhippy December 19, 2012 at 12:59 pm

There is always money in a banana stand.

Chow Yun Flat December 19, 2012 at 1:08 pm

It's hardly worth being rich anymore. If it wasn't for being able to buy whatever I wanted, live in a verdant, crime free suburb or a Michigan Ave. condo with armed doormen, enjoy the finest health care available anywhere and have politicians clamoring to cut my taxes and do my bidding, I might give it all up.

MiniMencken December 19, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Oh, this is the Orange County, California Newport? Orly Taitz's county? Nothing to look at here, folks. Just move it along.

jethrotoll December 19, 2012 at 1:44 pm

If this passes, the yacht-owners might as well take out an ad in I'm Poor Magazine.

zhenjiu December 19, 2012 at 2:52 pm

I visited Newport with a friend from Providence years ago; we went there on a whim. It happened to be the annual regatta, and the blue bloods were out in full force with parasols (!!!), top-siders, Izod shirts and New England lock jawed speech patterns. I swear I saw a pair of penny loafers with Krugerrands inserted! Buffy, I nearly tossed my cookies!!!

GeneralLerong December 19, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Maybe those dolphins the Navy's trained could do a practice underwater demolition.

"They overhead someone say there wouldn't be holiday lights, and they went stone cold fucking nuts!!"

TribecaMike December 19, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Keelhaul the well-heeled.

docterry6973 December 19, 2012 at 4:04 pm

I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had to pay more than $100 per year to moor his yacht.

Actually I have shoes.

Wile E. Quixote December 19, 2012 at 4:45 pm

I have to wonder how many of these rich fucks actually take their yachts out of the slip. If it's anything like Shilshole in Seattle probably not too many, these are just expensive floating party barges.

shawnthesheep December 19, 2012 at 5:25 pm

I was born in Newport Beach and lived many years in OC, though my family was far from rich. I attended Corona Del Mar High School while living in the only trailer park in Newport Beach.

I had a friend named Woody (I shit you not) who was originally from AZ. His family came out one year for the holidays, and they invited me out on their boat for the Newport Harbor Christmas boat parade. What I did not know is that their boat was a pontoon boat. It was awesome. Surrounded by multi-milliion dollar gin palaces on a fucking pontoon boat. The looks of snobbery were delicious. A true Beverly Hillbillies experience.

These Newport Beach fascists are awful. How dare anyone actually expect them to be responsible for covering the infrastructure costs associated with their hobby.

jello_mold December 19, 2012 at 5:28 pm

What cheese goes best with a nouveau white whine?

Nostrildamus December 19, 2012 at 5:43 pm

Look, you don't get to the point of owning a yacht if you pay for stuff.

NinjaCat_Baba December 19, 2012 at 6:18 pm

Rrrrr, these Yachts Pirrate Newporrrt Beach can't be pirrrates anymore. Don't pay morrre than 100 doubloons. Just sail to Somalia, they will fit in just rrright. Rrrrrr

notanncoulter December 20, 2012 at 12:33 pm

My new response to EVERY story now:
Oh for fuck's sake!

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