rich are getting richer and poor are getting drunk

Mitt Romney Grifted Your Yearly Salary In The Time It Takes To Read This Headline

don't say we never gave you a money shotOne thing we have learned in the past few years of grifter politics is that rich people are way way better at grifting than poor slobs like us. You are probably just too fucking lazy to figure out how to get someone to buy you $150,000 worth of clothes for a job you did not get. You probably have no idea how to get $96,000 behind on your rent and still not get evicted either. Your lazy stupidity is probably why you haven’t been able to overcharge the hell out of people just for hanging around you:

It is standard procedure for presidential campaigns to arrange and prepay for meals, bus travel, and charter flights, then bill the news outlets afterward for their share of the cost. In order to travel with the candidate, reporters and their editors must agree upfront to pay for the cost of the trips, as determined by the campaign.

But many of the bills from the Romney campaign — which have continued to trickle in since Election Day — are much higher than during other campaigns.

For example, on Oct. 11, each reporter was charged $812 for a meal and a rented “holding” space, where the press waited before moving to the next event. On Oct. 18, the bill for a similar set of expenses was $461. And on the night of the vice presidential debate, the campaign planned a “viewing party” for the reporters with Romney, complete with a large rented room with a patio, massage tables, fresh cut flowers, and lots of food and booze. One campaign aide told BuzzFeed that campaign officials’ orders were to “go big” — a nice gesture, perhaps, but one that wasn’t discussed with every media outlet.

The tab for the party: $745 per reporter.

Hahaha. Yr Wonkette has never, ever been so glad that we were not invited to travel with the Romney campaign. Can you imagine? First you have to, well, travel with the Romney campaign. Adding insult to injury, you have to pay to travel with the Romney campaign. Adding a kick in the teeth to your insult and injury, you have to pay an absolutely ridiculous sum of money. Are you really surprised, though, that the dude that thought that a $55,000 car elevator was a necessity, that a 12,000 square foot home was just the right size for an empty nest family, and that totally believed that $250,000 was still middle class would be just a little bit out of touch with how much things cost? $800 per person per meal and a space to sit and wait for something boring like hearing Romney talk is probably a HUGE bargain in Romney-world. Also, too, who among us hasn’t paid $750 just for the privilege of attending a party? (And no, paying for strippers and drugs at the party DOES NOT COUNT.)

Losing the presidency is where the REAL money is at, suckas.


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    1. YasserArraFeck

      Home cooking next year – they're fattening up Alpaca, or Alfalfa, or Gaspacho, or whatever the bloody horse's name is. "Trapp, honey, would you like some stuffing with your fetlock?"

  1. sundaytrucker

    Nice!!! I live in NH where it costs $100 bucks to get on the presidential primary ballot. Easy Street here I come.

  2. Antispandex

    745.00$ for a reporter may seem a little expensive, until you realize what you get for your money. No, wait, YOU pay? And you still kiss the candidates ass? That makes less sense.

  3. RedneckMuslin

    I am officially announcing my candidacy for President of the United States in 2016. Now bitches, you owe me some money!

  4. Texan_Bulldog

    He should have had his buddy Jimmy John provide free sandwiches or his pizza buddy Pappa John provide free pizza.

    1. DickWharfinger

      Thanks for informing me about Jimmy. I can not believe a rich guy would eat that crap. . Maybe that is what is getting under Egg's skin.

  5. Loch_Nessosaur

    What if the reporters don't pay? Does Tagg get dispatched to their homes to do a little enforcing?

  6. FakaktaSouth

    He has BOOZE at his fucking parties but doesn't want me to have insured whore pills because why now? You can't just bend those rules to however you need to, darling – Missouri Jesus apparently saw ALL that shit, hence, the lovely downfall.

    1. prommie

      I am sure he would have provided hookers and blow, too, if he thought it would make the sale. As the Spitzer documentary showed us, the Mad Men days are not over at ALL, in the finance Biz. The Masters of the Universe still like to do lines off a hookers ass. Oh yes, Mitt would certainly throw a hookers, booze, and coke party, if it was a business event meant to tie down a big deal. And yes, he would also probably exclude whore pills from his secretaries' medical benefits, too, out of religious conviction. How, you might ask, is this consistent? Well, its consistent with his being an evil rat-fucking bag of pustulent hypocritical smirking shit.

  7. mavenmaven

    …and all reporters ever got out of Romney's expensive dinners were secret footage that destroyed the Romney campaign. Karmic payback!

  8. SexySmurf

    large rented room with a patio, massage tables, fresh cut flowers, and lots of food and booze.

    For $745, it better have included a happy ending. Wait, there was a happy ending: Mittens isn't President.

    1. Kitty_Sanchez

      Oh crap. I didn't read thru all the comments first. You beat me to it. Sorry I copy-catted. {:-[]

    2. TavariousChinaSmith

      When the bill came, it was definitely an unhappy ending, no matter how soft Mitt's hands were.

  9. Botlrokit

    Wonder how much a President Romney would have charged for front-row seating in the White House Briefing Room.

    1. docterry6973

      I didn't make it to the Philly party, so Wonkette could send me a couple of doubloons for a brew. That would be nice.

  10. Oblios_Cap

    $800 is a small price to pay to travel with the Romney campaign and never have the candidate tell you anything. Especially if your employer pays for it; you could have camped out in the hotel bar (and added that to your expense tab) and no one would ever been the wiser.

  11. Jus_Wonderin

    I hope NPR's Ari Shapiro got a discount. I don't want to think my Membership is paying for that fucking stiff asshole's campaign.

  12. YasserArraFeck

    Most "money shots" feature one, or maybe two penii – seven pricks must be some sort of record.

  13. elviouslyqueer

    Indeed, reporters on the trail grew accustomed to having five or six catered meals offered to them every day, with long tables full of food awaiting them at each campaign stop. The meals often went untouched and were sometimes consumed by campaign staff. It remains unclear whether those aides shouldered some of the costs of the meals..

    HAHAHAHAHA. I'll take "What is Hell to the No" for $400, Alex.

    1. ProgressiveInga

      Yes, I'm sure Dan Senor paid for each and every shrimp croquette he wolfed down and every serving of chocolate mousse he consumed. He paid it with that elusive "Iraqi money", so win/win.

      (Man, I HATE Dan Senor, can you tell? Grrrrrrrrrrr…..!)

      1. prommie

        Do ya think the Romney campaign paid for everything in cash, delivered to headquarters stacked on pallets?

  14. CrunchyKnee

    Last time I spent $800 on lunch, it was for 10 of us, in London and on a company credit card. The booze tab being higher than the food tab contributed very much to the steep price tag.

  15. prommie

    What a businessman! Wow, we really missed out, not electing someone with such business skills to be our president in these tough fiscal times! What organizational skills! What incredible efficiency and economy in his campaign operation! What a tight ship he ran! Normally, you have to look to a defense contractor to find an operation that can run so perfectly on-budget, with such incredible competence and integrity, but Mitt, boy, like I said, its just a shame, this kind of lean, mean organizational efficacy is what this country needed.

  16. HRH_Maddie

    I could use a new wardrobe so I'm taking this opportunity to announce that I'm running for president. Maddie 2016!

  17. HarryButtle

    And what happens if they DON'T pay? They won't get invited to Romney's next campaign? Sounds like a WIN/WIN to me.

    I said last summer when Romney was running all over the place, dragging reporters along but not bothering to answer questions that they ought to just stop covering him altogether. Seems like a pretty good idea now, doesn't it, bitches?

  18. widestanceromance

    At those prices, I might be able to afford a MUFFIN (remember that whole debacle?).

    For that kind of money, I would expect at least a brisk hand job from some punk staffer.

    1. Veritas78

      Something tells me that the Bar Bush Rule applies: "I never tip. I don't believe it." *
      *Actual quote.

  19. SorosBot

    The important thing is Romney always made sure someone else picks up the costs; just like when he was bankrupting companies and laying off their employees with Bain.

  20. BaldarTFlagass

    I'm guessing that tight-fisted motherfucker probably pocketed the entire federal Presidential Campaign Fund contribution to his campaign, too. Haha, I didn't check the box on my 1040!!!!

      1. Jus_Wonderin

        I have to check on Continuing Ed's Evil 101 course. I should think I don't have to take the remedial classes.

  21. BaldarTFlagass

    Bud: Willard Mitt Romney, brokerage consultant and former presidential candidate. Fucking millionaire six payments behind. I've never understood it.
    Otto: What's that?
    Bud: The fucking millionaires. They never pay their bills. See you at the yard.
    Otto: Let me get this one.
    Bud: No. I'll handle this one. Mister Romney is carrying a permit for a pistol.

  22. mustangsavvy

    This totally proves Romney is the fiscally conservative candidate he campaigned as! $$$ blown everywhere "going big". To impress the journos.

  23. Tangled sin tax

    Back in the dark ages when data lines were point-to-point I got notice to do a rush commo installation for a Saudi Prince who was to be staying in a very fancy house in Bellevue, WA (Seattle, basically). A few months later I got a disconnect order for non-payment.

    1. prommie

      Thats their M.O. back in Saudi-Land. The Princes, they are basically untouchable, they cannot be sued and its not like the police are gonna go after them, and there are like a thousand of them, they fucking grift and steal and schnurr and fuck people over right and left, exactly the way the Joisey mafia operates, if you have a succesful business, all of a sudden you find you have a Prince as a "partner," who does nothing, invested nothing, but, hey, it would be a shame of something were to happen to your nice business here.

      1. Tangled sin tax

        In fairness, there is one prince I ran across who didn't fit that mold. Back in 2000 I was on a star-crossed around the world bicycle trip along with 237 others, plus some logistical support. We'd been airlifted twice already, and it was a real clusterfuck each time because the charter airline people grossly underestimated how much space we would all take. A Saudi prince (don't remember his name) who had his own 747 and crew thought it was an interesting enough challenge and he flew all of us from San Carlos de Bariloche to Johannesburg. He had to do more or less a combat takeoff from Argentina due to altitude and mountain issues.

    1. Jus_Wonderin

      I seem to remember she dropped them off in plastic bags. Though, the jockey shorts she bought for Todd were not included.

  24. Kitty_Sanchez

    Massage tables?? Cripes! A $745 price of admission should cover the cost of the happy ending and then some.

  25. smitallica

    $800 dollars to have your questions evaded, ignored, or non-answered with nothing but obvious lies as if you were a credulous child? A bargain at twice the price!

  26. An_Outhouse

    Mitt Romney is the bestest plutocrat. Our media fluffers are stupid and gullible. I'd charge them $800 for lunch too, if I thought they'd pay it. A match made in heaven.

  27. Mahousu

    And no, paying for strippers and drugs at the party DOES NOT COUNT.

    I keep telling my wife this and she keeps not believing me.

  28. LibrarianX

    "… it was clear to all present that the campaign's paid staff frequently consumed the food and drinks ostensibly produced for the media."

    Did his staff also sleep under the campaign jet, on the runway?

  29. DocChaos

    The $754 includes a $600 per person "consulting fee" for whoever hired the event organizer and catering firm.

    1. Zango Crudmonger

      Which includes Romney's consultant selling the email list to a super PAC and buying it back in a different form for the invite list.

  30. Gayer_Than_Thou

    I'm sorry — all I read is something something something blah blah blah Mitt Romney. When I see that picture of him, the only thing I think is "I would tap THAT." If that's wrong, I don't want to be right. And it's not just because he's good-looking. It's also because I assume he would give me a coupla Benjamins for cab fare.

    1. emmelemm

      You'd be wrong about the cab fare. (See stories of his campaign workers' credit cards being cancelled the evening of the election, so they couldn't even get home.)

  31. Gayer_Than_Thou

    Hush money, then. If I've already gone down on Mitt Romney, I'm not going to get picky about what we call the payment.

  32. Biel_ze_Bubba

    Mitt to his campaign manager: "We're charging 800 bucks for a ham sandwich, and the bastards are still hanging around and asking questions! What the heck do we have to do to get rid of them???"

  33. Eastwest49

    This is the kind of thing that happens when you get too close to a plutocrat tapeworm. It doesn't feel. It criticizes your cookies. It never stops eating.

  34. chascates

    "What I want to see above all is that this country remains a country where someone can always get rich."
    –Ronald Reagan

  35. Veritas78

    Given that Romney cut off his staff's credit cards after CNN called Ohio (thus preventing them from taking cabs home from the Boston Convention Center hahahaha!), any news department worth its salt should deposit bills from the campaign in the circular file. The one guy left on Rmoney's payroll knows the expense of suing is higher than the chance of collecting.

  36. shelwood46

    Damn, we're doing our annual Big Fancy Party for my fire company next month, and I thought it was pretty swanky, but we're only spending about $30/person. Obviously it's crap compared to what Romney did on a daily basis for reporters.

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