Mitt Romney Grifted Your Yearly Salary In The Time It Takes To Read This Headline

by snipy

don't say we never gave you a money shotOne thing we have learned in the past few years of grifter politics is that rich people are way way better at grifting than poor slobs like us. You are probably just too fucking lazy to figure out how to get someone to buy you $150,000 worth of clothes for a job you did not get. You probably have no idea how to get $96,000 behind on your rent and still not get evicted either. Your lazy stupidity is probably why you haven’t been able to overcharge the hell out of people just for hanging around you:

It is standard procedure for presidential campaigns to arrange and prepay for meals, bus travel, and charter flights, then bill the news outlets afterward for their share of the cost. In order to travel with the candidate, reporters and their editors must agree upfront to pay for the cost of the trips, as determined by the campaign.

But many of the bills from the Romney campaign — which have continued to trickle in since Election Day — are much higher than during other campaigns.

For example, on Oct. 11, each reporter was charged $812 for a meal and a rented “holding” space, where the press waited before moving to the next event. On Oct. 18, the bill for a similar set of expenses was $461. And on the night of the vice presidential debate, the campaign planned a “viewing party” for the reporters with Romney, complete with a large rented room with a patio, massage tables, fresh cut flowers, and lots of food and booze. One campaign aide told BuzzFeed that campaign officials’ orders were to “go big” — a nice gesture, perhaps, but one that wasn’t discussed with every media outlet.

The tab for the party: $745 per reporter.

Hahaha. Yr Wonkette has never, ever been so glad that we were not invited to travel with the Romney campaign. Can you imagine? First you have to, well, travel with the Romney campaign. Adding insult to injury, you have to pay to travel with the Romney campaign. Adding a kick in the teeth to your insult and injury, you have to pay an absolutely ridiculous sum of money. Are you really surprised, though, that the dude that thought that a $55,000 car elevator was a necessity, that a 12,000 square foot home was just the right size for an empty nest family, and that totally believed that $250,000 was still middle class would be just a little bit out of touch with how much things cost? $800 per person per meal and a space to sit and wait for something boring like hearing Romney talk is probably a HUGE bargain in Romney-world. Also, too, who among us hasn’t paid $750 just for the privilege of attending a party? (And no, paying for strippers and drugs at the party DOES NOT COUNT.)

Losing the presidency is where the REAL money is at, suckas.

[BuzzFeed]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 119 comments }

snowpointsecret December 18, 2012 at 3:32 pm

$800 per person per meal

Wow, Boston Market really raised its prices.

YasserArraFeck December 18, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Home cooking next year – they're fattening up Alpaca, or Alfalfa, or Gaspacho, or whatever the bloody horse's name is. "Trapp, honey, would you like some stuffing with your fetlock?"

UpstateYorkee December 18, 2012 at 4:00 pm

More like Chik-Fil-A

sundaytrucker December 18, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Nice!!! I live in NH where it costs $100 bucks to get on the presidential primary ballot. Easy Street here I come.

Antispandex December 18, 2012 at 3:33 pm

745.00$ for a reporter may seem a little expensive, until you realize what you get for your money. No, wait, YOU pay? And you still kiss the candidates ass? That makes less sense.

SorosBot December 18, 2012 at 3:33 pm

$862 for a meal? What was it, lobster caviar with Cristal champagne?

elviouslyqueer December 18, 2012 at 3:42 pm

McRibs and Diet Sprite, more like.

Veritas78 December 18, 2012 at 8:47 pm

The special "Trump" caviar! You know, the stuff that had been open in the fridge for six weeks.

TribecaMike December 18, 2012 at 11:14 pm

But it's the Dark Cristal™.

bumfug December 18, 2012 at 3:34 pm

There are lots of things that I'd pay $800 for. None of them involve Mitt Romney.

YasserArraFeck December 18, 2012 at 3:51 pm

I can think if a few, but most of them involve rusty instruments

zippy_w_pinhead December 18, 2012 at 5:20 pm

or a swift kick to his magic underwear…

Biff December 18, 2012 at 8:56 pm

Trombone?

bearperney December 18, 2012 at 10:36 pm

As I advance into my mid-60s, there are, sadly, fewer and fewer things I would pay $800 for.

bumfug December 19, 2012 at 12:27 am

I'm 64 and there's a giant shitload of things I'd pay way more than $800 to have back.

unclejeems December 19, 2012 at 1:09 am

I'm over 60 and I don't have $800 to pay for anything.

RedneckMuslin December 18, 2012 at 3:35 pm

I am officially announcing my candidacy for President of the United States in 2016. Now bitches, you owe me some money!

Texan_Bulldog December 18, 2012 at 3:36 pm

He should have had his buddy Jimmy John provide free sandwiches or his pizza buddy Pappa John provide free pizza.

chicken_thief December 18, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Or they could have bbq'd that fucking loser horse, Ralfaca.

Botlrokit December 18, 2012 at 3:41 pm

WIN

hagajim December 18, 2012 at 3:39 pm

He did…100% pure grifter profit baby!

DickWharfinger December 18, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Thanks for informing me about Jimmy. I can not believe a rich guy would eat that crap. . Maybe that is what is getting under Egg's skin.

Botlrokit December 18, 2012 at 3:37 pm

At least it wasn't a cash bar. Drink up, journalists!

BarackMyWorld December 18, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Probably includes a surcharge for unfavorable coverage…literally a reality check.

hagajim December 18, 2012 at 3:38 pm

You all know, overhead for Presidential grifting is a killer.

Loch_Nessosaur December 18, 2012 at 3:38 pm

What if the reporters don't pay? Does Tagg get dispatched to their homes to do a little enforcing?

CrunchyKnee December 18, 2012 at 3:38 pm

I bet he still only tipped the wait staff 10%, Douchetard.

BlueStateLibel December 18, 2012 at 3:39 pm

$800 to see a loser give a halting concession speech, wow, what a bargain.

FakaktaSouth December 18, 2012 at 3:39 pm

He has BOOZE at his fucking parties but doesn't want me to have insured whore pills because why now? You can't just bend those rules to however you need to, darling – Missouri Jesus apparently saw ALL that shit, hence, the lovely downfall.

AlterNewt December 18, 2012 at 3:46 pm

"Don't fuck with Missouri Jesus" my drunken grandpa never used to say.

HRH_Maddie December 18, 2012 at 3:57 pm

I'm going to start saying that to my nonexistent grandchildren.

prommie December 18, 2012 at 3:58 pm

I am sure he would have provided hookers and blow, too, if he thought it would make the sale. As the Spitzer documentary showed us, the Mad Men days are not over at ALL, in the finance Biz. The Masters of the Universe still like to do lines off a hookers ass. Oh yes, Mitt would certainly throw a hookers, booze, and coke party, if it was a business event meant to tie down a big deal. And yes, he would also probably exclude whore pills from his secretaries' medical benefits, too, out of religious conviction. How, you might ask, is this consistent? Well, its consistent with his being an evil rat-fucking bag of pustulent hypocritical smirking shit.

Smitros December 18, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Might I reasonably infer that you did not vote for Romney?

unclejeems December 19, 2012 at 1:11 am

Great line. Can I use it?

RadioBitchFace December 18, 2012 at 3:40 pm

I wonder what the charge was for a quiet room.

chicken_thief December 18, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Hmpft. Says who – the Lamestream Media?

mavenmaven December 18, 2012 at 3:40 pm

…and all reporters ever got out of Romney's expensive dinners were secret footage that destroyed the Romney campaign. Karmic payback!

SexySmurf December 18, 2012 at 3:41 pm

large rented room with a patio, massage tables, fresh cut flowers, and lots of food and booze.

For $745, it better have included a happy ending. Wait, there was a happy ending: Mittens isn't President.

Kitty_Sanchez December 18, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Oh crap. I didn't read thru all the comments first. You beat me to it. Sorry I copy-catted. {:-[]

TavariousChinaSmith December 18, 2012 at 4:21 pm

When the bill came, it was definitely an unhappy ending, no matter how soft Mitt's hands were.

Lizzietish81 December 18, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Karl Rove is desperately trying to get some of the money back before the Koch Brothers find him.

Oblios_Cap December 18, 2012 at 3:41 pm

re: alt-text

That has to be the worst money shot in the history of cinema.

ProgressiveInga December 18, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Who?

Botlrokit December 18, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Wonder how much a President Romney would have charged for front-row seating in the White House Briefing Room.

OneYieldRegular December 18, 2012 at 3:43 pm

At the last party I attended, Wonkette even bought the beer.

docterry6973 December 18, 2012 at 5:18 pm

I didn't make it to the Philly party, so Wonkette could send me a couple of doubloons for a brew. That would be nice.

Oblios_Cap December 18, 2012 at 3:45 pm

$800 is a small price to pay to travel with the Romney campaign and never have the candidate tell you anything. Especially if your employer pays for it; you could have camped out in the hotel bar (and added that to your expense tab) and no one would ever been the wiser.

Goonemeritus December 18, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Sarah Palin sits at home reading this, wrapped in her “Slanket” she quietly sobs.

Jus_Wonderin December 18, 2012 at 3:50 pm

However, Bristol is taking notes.

ifthethunderdontgetya December 18, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Is a Slanket like a Slurka?
~

BaldarTFlagass December 18, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Skanket?

bikerlaureate December 18, 2012 at 4:42 pm

I think it's spelled "Skankette".

BaldarTFlagass December 18, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Not if you want it to rhyme with "blanket"…

SorosBot December 18, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Who?

Jus_Wonderin December 18, 2012 at 3:46 pm

I hope NPR's Ari Shapiro got a discount. I don't want to think my Membership is paying for that fucking stiff asshole's campaign.

YasserArraFeck December 18, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Most "money shots" feature one, or maybe two penii – seven pricks must be some sort of record.

SayItWithWookies December 18, 2012 at 3:47 pm

And I thought Michelangelo had raised chiseling to an art form.

elviouslyqueer December 18, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Indeed, reporters on the trail grew accustomed to having five or six catered meals offered to them every day, with long tables full of food awaiting them at each campaign stop. The meals often went untouched and were sometimes consumed by campaign staff. It remains unclear whether those aides shouldered some of the costs of the meals..

HAHAHAHAHA. I'll take "What is Hell to the No" for $400, Alex.

ProgressiveInga December 18, 2012 at 3:53 pm

Yes, I'm sure Dan Senor paid for each and every shrimp croquette he wolfed down and every serving of chocolate mousse he consumed. He paid it with that elusive "Iraqi money", so win/win.

(Man, I HATE Dan Senor, can you tell? Grrrrrrrrrrr…..!)

prommie December 18, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Do ya think the Romney campaign paid for everything in cash, delivered to headquarters stacked on pallets?

CrunchyKnee December 18, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Last time I spent $800 on lunch, it was for 10 of us, in London and on a company credit card. The booze tab being higher than the food tab contributed very much to the steep price tag.

Smitros December 18, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Are you hiring?

Mumbletypeg December 18, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Seamus, to Rafalca: "I hit the roof when I heard about those rates!"
Rafalca to Seamus: "Stop being so neighgative and pony up! Bitch."

ifthethunderdontgetya December 18, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Tithe like an Egyptian…
~

prommie December 18, 2012 at 3:51 pm

What a businessman! Wow, we really missed out, not electing someone with such business skills to be our president in these tough fiscal times! What organizational skills! What incredible efficiency and economy in his campaign operation! What a tight ship he ran! Normally, you have to look to a defense contractor to find an operation that can run so perfectly on-budget, with such incredible competence and integrity, but Mitt, boy, like I said, its just a shame, this kind of lean, mean organizational efficacy is what this country needed.

Veritas78 December 18, 2012 at 8:54 pm

You just know he would have charged us a filing fee to pay our taxes.

StillGoinGreen December 18, 2012 at 3:53 pm

I'd pay the fee to kick him in the nuts, with vot… nope, with my foot.

Jus_Wonderin December 18, 2012 at 4:00 pm

There is a flaw in this plan. How can we locate his nuts?

widestanceromance December 18, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Ask Tyrell.

StillGoinGreen December 18, 2012 at 4:41 pm

There is one behind each of Tucker's bows.

Jus_Wonderin December 18, 2012 at 4:49 pm

bows. I read that as curtsey(s)

StillGoinGreen December 19, 2012 at 10:29 am

That works as well, but yours offers a much more disturbing visual.

HRH_Maddie December 18, 2012 at 3:54 pm

I could use a new wardrobe so I'm taking this opportunity to announce that I'm running for president. Maddie 2016!

HarryButtle December 18, 2012 at 3:55 pm

And what happens if they DON'T pay? They won't get invited to Romney's next campaign? Sounds like a WIN/WIN to me.

I said last summer when Romney was running all over the place, dragging reporters along but not bothering to answer questions that they ought to just stop covering him altogether. Seems like a pretty good idea now, doesn't it, bitches?

widestanceromance December 18, 2012 at 3:57 pm

At those prices, I might be able to afford a MUFFIN (remember that whole debacle?).

For that kind of money, I would expect at least a brisk hand job from some punk staffer.

BaldarTFlagass December 18, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Did that cover tips for waitstaff? I think I can guess.

Veritas78 December 18, 2012 at 8:56 pm

Something tells me that the Bar Bush Rule applies: "I never tip. I don't believe it." *
*Actual quote.

SorosBot December 18, 2012 at 3:59 pm

The important thing is Romney always made sure someone else picks up the costs; just like when he was bankrupting companies and laying off their employees with Bain.

BaldarTFlagass December 18, 2012 at 4:01 pm

I'm guessing that tight-fisted motherfucker probably pocketed the entire federal Presidential Campaign Fund contribution to his campaign, too. Haha, I didn't check the box on my 1040!!!!

bikerlaureate December 18, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Has he amended his tax return yet?

Jus_Wonderin December 18, 2012 at 4:01 pm

The rich are just smarter than us, aren't they?

prommie December 18, 2012 at 4:08 pm

From my experience, they are just more brazen and immoral.

BaldarTFlagass December 18, 2012 at 4:12 pm

And don't forget, more evil too.

Jus_Wonderin December 18, 2012 at 4:15 pm

I have to check on Continuing Ed's Evil 101 course. I should think I don't have to take the remedial classes.

BaldarTFlagass December 18, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Bud: Willard Mitt Romney, brokerage consultant and former presidential candidate. Fucking millionaire six payments behind. I've never understood it.
Otto: What's that?
Bud: The fucking millionaires. They never pay their bills. See you at the yard.
Otto: Let me get this one.
Bud: No. I'll handle this one. Mister Romney is carrying a permit for a pistol.

glasspusher December 18, 2012 at 7:51 pm

"…in addition, I would like to sit in my car and watch them spin…"

mustangsavvy December 18, 2012 at 4:06 pm

This totally proves Romney is the fiscally conservative candidate he campaigned as! $$$ blown everywhere "going big". To impress the journos.

snowpointsecret December 18, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Who the hell needs 5 or 6 catered meals anyway? Was Chris Christie at every single stop?

Tangled sin tax December 18, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Back in the dark ages when data lines were point-to-point I got notice to do a rush commo installation for a Saudi Prince who was to be staying in a very fancy house in Bellevue, WA (Seattle, basically). A few months later I got a disconnect order for non-payment.

prommie December 18, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Thats their M.O. back in Saudi-Land. The Princes, they are basically untouchable, they cannot be sued and its not like the police are gonna go after them, and there are like a thousand of them, they fucking grift and steal and schnurr and fuck people over right and left, exactly the way the Joisey mafia operates, if you have a succesful business, all of a sudden you find you have a Prince as a "partner," who does nothing, invested nothing, but, hey, it would be a shame of something were to happen to your nice business here.

Tangled sin tax December 18, 2012 at 5:45 pm

In fairness, there is one prince I ran across who didn't fit that mold. Back in 2000 I was on a star-crossed around the world bicycle trip along with 237 others, plus some logistical support. We'd been airlifted twice already, and it was a real clusterfuck each time because the charter airline people grossly underestimated how much space we would all take. A Saudi prince (don't remember his name) who had his own 747 and crew thought it was an interesting enough challenge and he flew all of us from San Carlos de Bariloche to Johannesburg. He had to do more or less a combat takeoff from Argentina due to altitude and mountain issues.

MissNancyPriss December 18, 2012 at 4:08 pm

What happened to all those clothes Palin grifted? Did she ever return them?

Jus_Wonderin December 18, 2012 at 4:13 pm

I seem to remember she dropped them off in plastic bags. Though, the jockey shorts she bought for Todd were not included.

Kitty_Sanchez December 18, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Massage tables?? Cripes! A $745 price of admission should cover the cost of the happy ending and then some.

BaldarTFlagass December 18, 2012 at 4:15 pm

I still can't believe this guy didn't beat Obama.

smitallica December 18, 2012 at 4:20 pm

$800 dollars to have your questions evaded, ignored, or non-answered with nothing but obvious lies as if you were a credulous child? A bargain at twice the price!

An_Outhouse December 18, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Mitt Romney is the bestest plutocrat. Our media fluffers are stupid and gullible. I'd charge them $800 for lunch too, if I thought they'd pay it. A match made in heaven.

DahBoner December 18, 2012 at 4:28 pm

First rule of Republican Holding Rooms: No one talks about WHAT they're holding.

Mahousu December 18, 2012 at 4:32 pm

And no, paying for strippers and drugs at the party DOES NOT COUNT.

I keep telling my wife this and she keeps not believing me.

docterry6973 December 18, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Mittens really should have charged them $845 each, to create more jerbs.

zippy_w_pinhead December 18, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Who the Hell would go to a party with no strippers and drugs???

LibrarianX December 18, 2012 at 5:22 pm

"… it was clear to all present that the campaign's paid staff frequently consumed the food and drinks ostensibly produced for the media."

Did his staff also sleep under the campaign jet, on the runway?

DocChaos December 18, 2012 at 5:26 pm

The $754 includes a $600 per person "consulting fee" for whoever hired the event organizer and catering firm.

Zango Crudmonger December 18, 2012 at 6:19 pm

Which includes Romney's consultant selling the email list to a super PAC and buying it back in a different form for the invite list.

rickmaci December 18, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Wonder if they charged the reporters from FauxNooz.?

Gayer_Than_Thou December 18, 2012 at 5:44 pm

I'm sorry — all I read is something something something blah blah blah Mitt Romney. When I see that picture of him, the only thing I think is "I would tap THAT." If that's wrong, I don't want to be right. And it's not just because he's good-looking. It's also because I assume he would give me a coupla Benjamins for cab fare.

emmelemm December 18, 2012 at 5:57 pm

You'd be wrong about the cab fare. (See stories of his campaign workers' credit cards being cancelled the evening of the election, so they couldn't even get home.)

Gayer_Than_Thou December 18, 2012 at 5:59 pm

Hush money, then. If I've already gone down on Mitt Romney, I'm not going to get picky about what we call the payment.

Thedongsofwar December 18, 2012 at 6:09 pm

Your meal is $200 more than my rent. I cannot believe I share the same planet with this person.

Ducksworthy December 18, 2012 at 7:05 pm

Mormon-Kosher hookers and blow do not come cheap my friend.

glasspusher December 18, 2012 at 7:54 pm

…as long as I come!

Biel_ze_Bubba December 18, 2012 at 7:16 pm

Mitt to his campaign manager: "We're charging 800 bucks for a ham sandwich, and the bastards are still hanging around and asking questions! What the heck do we have to do to get rid of them???"

Eastwest49 December 18, 2012 at 7:19 pm

This is the kind of thing that happens when you get too close to a plutocrat tapeworm. It doesn't feel. It criticizes your cookies. It never stops eating.

chascates December 18, 2012 at 7:41 pm

"What I want to see above all is that this country remains a country where someone can always get rich."
–Ronald Reagan

Veritas78 December 18, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Given that Romney cut off his staff's credit cards after CNN called Ohio (thus preventing them from taking cabs home from the Boston Convention Center hahahaha!), any news department worth its salt should deposit bills from the campaign in the circular file. The one guy left on Rmoney's payroll knows the expense of suing is higher than the chance of collecting.

TribecaMike December 18, 2012 at 11:51 pm

Yeah, but the way he made that narwhal appear from that empty cabinet in Cleveland was freaking awesome. http://s3.amazonaws.com/dk-production/images/1596

shelwood46 December 19, 2012 at 12:44 am

Damn, we're doing our annual Big Fancy Party for my fire company next month, and I thought it was pretty swanky, but we're only spending about $30/person. Obviously it's crap compared to what Romney did on a daily basis for reporters.

ttommyunger December 19, 2012 at 12:49 pm

So nice to be able to say: "Mitt who?".

bikerlaureate December 18, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Ah.
I was going for a "Wonkette" snark.

Mea culpa.

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