America in one photographRemember our friend Tyree Johnson, the McDonald’s employee who is still earning minimum wage after 20 years of service? Well damn if the corporate overlords haven’t found another way to screw him and his. We thought they might be out of ideas for the year, but no, they are not, because they are going to try to squeeze just a little bit more out of Tyree by keeping the store open on Christmas day and not paying overtime.

“Starting with Thanksgiving, ensure your restaurants are open throughout the holidays,” reads the Nov. 8 memo from McDonald’s USA Chief Operating Officer Jim Johannesen. “Our largest holiday opportunity as a system is Christmas Day. Last year, [company-operated] restaurants that opened on Christmas averaged $5,500 in sales.”

In a second memo, dated Dec. 12, Mr. Johannesen pegged average sales for company-owned restaurants, which compose about 10% of its system, at “more than $6,000” this Thanksgiving. People close to the company said that about 6,000 more locations opened their doors this Thanksgiving than did last year. Presuming their sales were on par with company-owned stores, that’s about $36 million in additional sales…Franchisees opening on Thanksgiving accounted for almost one percentage point of the company’s 2.5% U.S. same-store sales growth in November.

See, this is why your Wonkette is not in the C-Suite. First of all, we would feel like an asshole saying the word “C-Suite. And also, your Wonkette would decide that the $36,000,000 is nice and all, but it would be EVEN NICER to let our employees take the day off on Thanksgiving and/or Christmas.

[A McDonald spokesperson] said she can’t speak for franchisees, but “when our company-owned restaurants are open on the holidays, the staff voluntarily sign up to work. There is no regular overtime pay.”

When we were a kid, the grocery down the street was unionized. It may have been an Alpha-Beta (remember those?), not entirely sure, but the point is that these unionized employees would get TRIPLE TIME if “asked” to work on Christmas or Thanksgiving. Thankfully, those commie union thugs have not gotten their hands on McDonald’s workers, which is lucky for them and their freedom.

We will leave you with an appropriate They Might Be Giants song to listen to for 48 seconds as you compose your thoughtful comments.


Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Lizzietish81

    I thank the numerous dark gods that I never had to work in fast food.

  • Wile E. Quixote

    How incredibly Chri$tian of them.

  • Serolf_Divad

    Guy gets a free meal on Christmas and you're still complaining? There's no pleasing some people, I guess.

    • glamourdammerung

      I was under the impression that most fast food places charge for the meals, even though they probably get a large discount.

      • AutomaticPilot

        When I was a teenager way back in the day (mid-'80s), I worked at Burger King and got a 50% discount on my meals until I was promoted to Head Cashier, at which point I got free meals. The sexual harrassment by my manager was free, though.

        • glamourdammerung

          I thought we were calling it "freedom harassment" now?

  • Charming… I love a good American company that expresses our "Xtian" values as the pols are always saying we have.

    • Serolf_Divad

      Put the $ back in Chri$tmas' my friend.

  • Severen13

    Welcome to McDonald's. May our slaves take your order, please?

  • SoBeach

    I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Pretty close. You don't make shit compared to your owner CEO.

  • Cleopatriot

    Fine. Somewhere else I don't ever have to eat again. Bring it on Corporate America! Even my family can't argue with me when I point out I don't eat at places that shit on its employees.

  • gullywompr

    “when our company-owned restaurants are open on the holidays, the staff voluntarily sign up to work. There is no regular overtime pay.”

    Will it work? Would people do it? I have no idea.

    • Lizzietish81

      Yes, because the staff is making so little, they can't afford not to work when there's a chance.

    • sewollef

      But all they have to do is rush the CEO and it's game over Mr McDonald.

    • kittensdontlie

      And the staff end up in a state similar to those who rush gunmen.

    • bobbert

      Thanx, Meghan.

  • Wile E. Quixote

    And how much do you want to bet that the assholes who own McDonalds franchises and who aren't paying overtime to the staff who have to work Christmas day are also the same assholes who are active in Republican politics and their local Fascisto-Baptist church and who constantly lecture everyone about Jeebus?

    • kyeshinka

      They're also the same pricks who shout at homeless people or protesters to "Get a job." I just wish my aim was good enough to do some serious damage to their vehicles as they pass.

  • memzilla
    • Dudleydidwrong

      Somewhere, somehow this generation will learn the meaning of "solidarity."

  • RadioBitchFace

    I'll have a McScroogie with cheese and Super Suck It!!

    • McNuggets for me. Cause that's how I get *Chickensian* with the season~

    • Serolf_Divad

      Sorry, our McScroogie machine is down right now. Would you like to try a "shut the fuck up about how your kids are spending another Christmas without dad and put some more pickles on those burgers" instead?

  • DrunkIrishman

    I still maintain McDonald's cheeseburgers are the best when you're absolutely ripped. We'd puff it up in the bathroom during math class, then sneak off to the McDonald's up the road and eat the shit out of their burgers until passing out in the school parking lot.

    • kyeshinka

      Sounds like my high school years, except back then we had the McDLTs.

    • Wile E. Quixote

      Only if you're not in the Seattle area and don't have access to the far superior product from Dick's. A Dick's Deluxe with an order of fries and a chocolate shake is the perfect thing to tamp down a queasy stomach after a night of drinking.

      • elviouslyqueer

        *scribbles down "Dick's Deluxe" as new porn star name*

      • eggsacklywright

        Haven't been there in years, but yes, in the 60's they were the best, along with BurgerMaster. And they pay well (for fast food work) and provide health care for employees.

    • mmeetoilenoir

      Nope. I beg to differ. White Castle is drunken manna of the gods.

      Actually, speaking of manna…White Manna on Rts. 1 and 9 in NJ is EPIC. Best fries ever.

      • DrunkIrishman

        We don't have White Castle out here. :/

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I was wondering what I was going to do for my Christmas dinner. Problem solved!!!

    • HistoriCat

      You should go get Chinese food; maybe meet a nice Jewish girl.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        I had me a six-point squeeze for 15-1/2 years, that was enough to learn me. Mazel tov!

    • kittensdontlie

      McDonald's is never the solution.

  • memzilla

    Because nothing says Christmas like Anus Burgers 'n HFCS.

  • JackDempsey1

    I'm ok with this as long as they maintain the seasonal spirit.
    The burgers still use all-natural myrrh, right?

    • Lizzietish81

      No, but its got some Reindeer meat in it.

      • Wile E. Quixote

        Well only if you count hooves, snouts, ears and anuses as meat.

      • and some swaddling clothes..

  • StarsUponThars


  • Toomush_Infer

    This gives a new meaning to the word "voluntarily"….

    • …"They spoke not a word
      But went straight to their work;
      Filled all the to-go orders
      (As proposed, by some jerk)"

      • Dudleydidwrong

        "Then giving the finger
        To the slave-driving boss
        The workers marched out
        Yelling, "The same to your horse!"

        I heard them exclaim
        Under the arches of gold:
        "Fuck you, Ronald my boy!
        No more shit will be sold"

    • Naked_Bunny

      Heck, why pay them at all?

    • Botlrokit

      Employee: "Boss, I see I'm on the schedule for Christmas day."
      Manager Piece of Shit: Yeah? And?
      E: "I was hoping to be off, because, y'know… it's Christmas. And I didn't volunteer.
      M: So?
      E: "Company says that's voluntary."
      M: Okay, fine. I'll take you off the schedule.
      E: (a little later) "Hey, you took the rest of my hours away."
      M: You said you wanted off. You're off next week, too.
      E: "But…"
      M: We could use some help on Tuesday. What say you now?
      E: "I'll be here…"

      • BaldarTFlagass

        "In fact, you will soon have a new schedule. Every day off."

    • Serolf_Divad

      For those who don't speak 'mericun:

      Voluntary = "Of course you won't go to jail if you don't do this, but don't expect to have a job here come Monday morning."

      • Dudleydidwrong

        Old management saying:
        "If you can't work on Sunday,
        Don't bother coming in on Monday."

        • BigSkullF*ckingDog

          Woohoo! Three day weekend!

  • coolhandnuke

    The Golden Shower Arches–piss poor wages, piss on the employees, piss tasting food.
    Piss off you fuckers.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    If they were really dedicated, those employees would volunteer to work on Christmas Day for free, as a Christmas present to their beloved job-creating employers.

    • Oblios_Cap

      After all, the jerb-creators are taking all the risks that brought those employees their character-building positions!

    • Dudleydidwrong

      …who are home with their families and celebrating the babby Jeebus.

  • not that Dewey

    I'm Shoving It.

  • Respitetini

    Hi, I'd like an order of Rich People plz. And supersize it?

  • And I thought that out obligatory Christmas dinners were bad. When my mother once again buys the awful ham and makes the nasty canned sweet potatoes with marshmallows, this year I'll be grateful that we're not just stopping out at McFucktard's.

  • Silent night, holy night
    Would you like fries with that?
    Quarter Pounder with extra cheese
    That's $4.95 please
    Get me out of this helllllllll —
    Get me out of this hell.

  • Poindexter718

    MMMmmm, standing McRib-roast.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    “when our company-owned restaurants are open on the holidays, the staff voluntarily sign up to work."

    Of course not volunteering is cause for dismissal Merry Xmas. That's right, Xmas.

    • Goonemeritus

      No need, when you pay so little collection agencies to all your coercion for you.

  • McDonald's is just a part of the retail hellscape that commences on Thanksgiving, and I'm sure none of the workers trapped in it are getting any kind of overtime.

    • FakaktaSouth

      This subject actually plagued me the entirety of Thanksgiving, as I was staying in a hotel and walked around feeling like shit about all of the people who were there, once it occurred to me that, no, in fact none of them were getting that sweet sweet double time I had always heard about before. When I went into the gas station, I actually got into a conversation with the attendant there, because she let me, and I asked her what her deal was – now this is Chevron, so there's not a lot of excuses for not having the cash, and she laughed and said only her nurse friends got any kind of special pay for holidays. ALL I KEPT THINKING WAS – what the fuck America – this is supposed to be such a patriotic, Christian, ceo-loving nation and all these assholes want is to fuck over their workers on the very days they jerk off about the hardest. JUST AAAAACKK. And so forth. I hate people.

      • Well you know, the truism has always been that the Money People are just using the Jesus People, and don't care about Jesus at all. But it seems like there are now some hybrid Jesus/Money People, the ones who are very active in trying to buy the government. You can tell them by their general tackiness when you see them in the media. But I think it's probably still true that the deep background, out-of-the-media Money People could give a fuck about Jesus beyond whether he can be used to deliver votes.

        • FakaktaSouth

          That is the thing that is so fascinating to me (in a want to bang my head on the wall way) the nation's most ridiculously up their own asses Patrio-fetishists, War-on-Christmas-defenders are the ones whose party is making things like holidays their bitch. It is amazing. Of course I s'pose it works both ways – Here we sit, the heatherns of the world, Godless libs (me, not you of course) fighting for people to enjoy a fucking holiday I think is actually kinda, you know, stupid. But hell, people need things to look forward to, or get paid a shit-ton to miss. I don't know. People are weird.

          • Say, are you still "rolling Tide" for the BCS game, now that you're out of Alabama? I don't usually follow college sports, and I've said I don't like Notre Dame, but they are right down the road from Chicago and this town is crawling with alums, and I could bandwagon-jump for a day. More personally, my alma mater, Mediocre State University/Cornfields, is in the Orange Bowl! But no school spirit has ever developed there because it is close enough to Chicago for all the kids to go home on the weekend, and the MAC conference is having to step in and pay for Mediocre State's share of Orange Bowl tickets.

          • FakaktaSouth

            OH HECK YES, lemme tells ya, up here where I am there are a BUNCH of Notre Damers, so I am enjoying it immensely. I even got asked about it yesterday cause the pharmacist saw my Bammer address, so that was fun! I am SO EXCITED I keep trying to get Proms to agree to go watch the game out somewhere people will be so I can be excited – I think he's a'feared I'll neck it up and start a Bama-brawl…and he ain't all stupid to worry.

          • It's as if the Pope is on a deep fly route for the Hail Mary and Pastor Hagee has man coverage!!

          • FakaktaSouth

            Saint Nick (as he is actually called in them thar parts, because he done saved our program) is going to HAVE to beat those guys, I am telling you I just can't stand it and you have to pull for us. They've already started with the "Catholics vs Cousins" tshirt shit – and I'm all REALLY? REALLY Notre Dame? THE CATHOLIC CHURCH thinks they should go the "haha sexual deviants you all are down there" route? Just, go fuck yourselves instead of an altar boy for once AND TRY to be creative at least.

          • Ha! OK, maybe I'll be all Swiss-Neutral on it.

          • FakaktaSouth

            Breaking. my. heart. But I'll take it.

        • Spider-Jerk

          Oh, they love Jesus — their Jesus. Capitalist Jeezus, who said, and I quote, "Suffer the little children to get a goddamn job, because I can get away with paying them less than I can with their parents."

    • mmeetoilenoir

      I work at a gym that's open on Christmas. The schedule is all voluntary for major holidays, and we get time and a half. I won't be working, but we close early and the mgmt will probably throw in a massage certificate or two.

  • SexySmurf

    OT Remember during the Bush Administration when Obama took away our incandescent light bulbs (it's part of a larger plan to take away our guns), and everyone predicted it would be the end of Easy-Bake Ovens. Well, guess what? Easy-Baked Ovens are all gay and shit now.

    • Biff

      Fuck that, I want mine in camo!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Hail Ronald
    Full of mayo
    Blessed are the holiest McFries
    Blessed is the fruit of the Hot Apple Pies.
    Mayor McCheese
    Keeper of the Secret Sauce
    Keep warm our dinners
    Now and until the hour of the Thick Frosty Shakes.
    Mmm Mm.

  • kyeshinka

    I wonder if upper management will "volunteer" to work during Jesus' birthday, right after Midnight Fucking Mass?!

  • mormos

    MacDonald's: Proudly bringing the 3rd world to America for over 50 years!

  • steamynachos

    Does McDonalds really think it can compete with the multitude of Chinese restaurants open on Christmas day?

    • miss_grundy

      I don't know. After all, the Chosen People have always eaten Chinese take-out on Christmas.

      • There was no room at Great Wall Seafood, so Joseph & Mary went to MacDonald's for a Filet-O-Fish instead.

  • sean_p

    The return of the McRib offsets any wrong doing; now with 60% more marrow.

  • YasserArraFeck

    I'll have a BOHICA burger, please….but hold the "special sauce"

  • Hamburgled…

  • Naked_Bunny

    the staff voluntarily sign up to work

    It's nice of McDonald's to ease off their usual slavery oriented employment model on Christmas.

  • Oblios_Cap

    The Race to the Bottom™ proceeds.

  • McFucked

  • CrunchyKnee

    McDonalds makes baby Jesus cry.

  • Botlrokit

    McDonald's franchisees here in our part of the south are not open for Xmas or Thanksgiving, which means their employees are forced to take a day off. What if they need the money, McDonald's?!

    • kyeshinka

      No problem. They're working their third jobs at Family Dollar. "Family Dollar. Because Target's For Snobs."

  • alzronnie

    A lot of spit will be served up that day.

  • chicken_thief

    Since when does "no habla englese" mean the same as "sure, I'll work Christmas Day for hobo beans"?

  • Goonemeritus

    I will await the Fox News article on this latest front in the war on Christmas.

    • Sue4466

      I suspect we'll be waiting a long time.

  • Biff

    Time to cue up the "Soldiers have to work on xmas, you ungrateful slackers!" meme.

  • If only McDonald's *happened* once a year,
    while spirit of giving was in operation 24/7…

    Eh. Perhaps some other universe.

  • SorosBot

    "You'll want all day to-morrow, I suppose?" said Scrooge.

    "If quite convenient, sir."

    "It's not convenient," said Scrooge, "and it's not fair. If I was to stop half-a-crown for it, you'd think yourself ill-used, I'll be bound?"

    The clerk smiled faintly.

    "And yet," said Scrooge, "you don't think me ill-used, when I pay a day's wages for no work."

    The clerk observed that it was only once a year.

    "A poor excuse for picking a man's pocket every twenty-fifth of December!" said Scrooge, buttoning his great-coat to the chin. "But I suppose you must have the whole day. Be here all the earlier next morning."

    So McDonald's is an even worse employer than Ebenezer Scrooge.

    • LibrarianX

      Quiet! Or, it's the workhouse for you!!

  • gullywompr

    After reviewing last Black Thursday' balance sheets, retailers have learned the value of being open on holidays. With all those shoppers out there this Dec. 25th, they're gonna need a place to eat. Stop hatin'.

  • HRH_Maddie

    Yes, I'm sure all of the employees "volunteer" to leave their families on Christians' most sacred holiday to go serve pig anuses to rude, obese Americans.

  • chicken_thief

    Gas at $2.49 a gallon? How fucking old is that pic?

    • Botlrokit

      To hear wingnuts, that's soon after Obama usurped office.

  • ProgressiveInga

    It would take about $36 mil for me to eat that shit on any day of the year.

  • chicken_thief

    Totally awesome!!!! After we open our gift on Baby Jeebs birfdee, imma takin the family to Micky D's for Big Macs and those fruity parfaits things.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Not so sweet.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "All hands to the oars! Bad news, men. The captain wants to water-ski."

  • BaldarTFlagass

    It's no problem, I guess, if you are Muslim or Buddhist or Hindu employee.

    • christianmuslin

      Or Jews.

      • DahBoner

        McRib is Unclean?

  • carlgt1

    well working at McDonald's on Xmas is pretty sad — but surely going to McDonald's for Xmas is worse?

  • BlueStateLibel

    We need Bill O'Reilly screaming that this is warring on Christmas…cricket, cricket.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    Often it's the 'quiet loners' who will volunteer to work on a holiday.

    • Botlrokit

      Ah! so it's a screening system… well played, McDonald's! well played.

  • Botlrokit

    So this means the corporate offices will also be running, right?

  • widestanceromance

    Everything this industry is and touches is evil.

  • LibrarianX

    This is what the so-called War on Christmas really looks like.

  • mavenmaven

    "Anyone volunteer to not lose your jobs?"

  • snowpointsecret

    Here's the real question: Who the hell wants to eat a McRib? There's insanely loyal fans of that thing and I don't really understand why.

  • Lizzietish81

    So question, movie theaters have been open on Christmas for a long time (Jewish friend of mine once complained that Christmas used to be "our day to go to the movies damnit!")

    Do they pay over time?

    • Biff

      I used to volunteer to work xmas when I was employed at a ski resort. It was really swamped, what with all the Jews and various Asians.

  • Botlrokit

    Any minute now, patriotic Christian Americans will chime in and protest against companies and their decisions to do business on holy days.

    • christianmuslin

      Except for the liquor stores and any place that sells lottery tickets.

  • sewollef

    Anybody know where that gas station is?

  • Botlrokit

    SOT: If you go eat there on Christmas, you may not want to argue with the manager.

  • chascates

    Thirty or forty years ago there was a temporary change in rules for McDonalds' franchisees: they were required to work a few hours a week in their stores. Doctors and lawyers had to pull a half shift once or twice a week before cooler heads prevailed and this shocking idea was shelved.

  • anniegetyerfun

    I look forward to Mike Huckabee's letter of protest.

  • Blunderthing

    "How much do you feed a dray [work] horse? Just enough to let them know they're hungry."–Eight Men Out

  • dennis1943

    Just another day in McDonald Land………… any other day……..crap on the employees………

  • DahBoner

    "the staff voluntarily sign up to work"

    Aww, that's nothing!

    If they renamed the business APPLE, they would also camp out overnight in the parking lot waiting for the store to open…

  • Christmas meal at McDonalds? That is the saddest fucking thing I have ever heard. They should turn the red box outside into a suicide booth.

  • Dildeaux

    Gasoline for $2.49? Dayum, Im in.

  • miss_grundy

    Since Cuban-Americans celebrate Christmas eve, it is nice to know that they can eat Amurrican food on Christmas day.

  • An_Outhouse

    You know who goes to McDonalds on Christmas? Elana Kagan (and other Jews), that's who

  • barto

    The obvious victim here – Chief Operating Officer Jim Johannesen – would be heartbroken to have his fellow Merkins be derpived of anus-burgers on any day of the year by his heartless employees. Such a Patriot!

  • bibliotequetress

    This answers the question, "What is more depressing: eating at McDonald's on christmas day or working at McDonald's on christmas day?"

  • Trinket

    Oh, for fuck's sake. These assholes are wearing me down. I can't summon the energy to call for a nationwide boycott of McDonald's on Christmas.

    Which is not to say I won't be carrying out my own personal boycott of McDonald's on Christmas.

  • Isyaignert

    This story reminds me of a little ditty: "Christmas is coming, the geese are getting fat, please put a penny in the old man's hat. If you haven't got a penny, a half a penny will do and if you haven't got a half a penny (or if you're eating Christmas dinner at McDonald's), then God bless you."

  • Isyaignert

    I guess I have to add McDonald's to the growing list of corporate bullys to boycott like Applebee's, Papa John's, Marriott, Domino's, and all evil Koch brothers products, such as this short list:

    Angel Soft toilet paper
    Brawny paper towels
    Dixie plates, bowls, napkins and cups
    Mardi Gras napkins and towels
    Quilted Northern toilet paper
    Soft ‘n Gentle toilet paper
    Sparkle napkins
    Vanity fair napkins
    Zee napkins
    Georgia-Pacific paper products and envelopes
    Stainmaster Carpet

  • ttommyunger

    Comforting to know I've done something right in my life: darkened the doors of a Mickey D only ONCE in 71 years.

Previous articleSen. Daniel Inouye Now Kicking Ass In Different Spiritual Plane
Next articlePlucky Girl Convinces Hasbro To Market Easy Bake Oven To Boys, Maybe Destroys American Manhood