today in dicks

Daily Caller Gets Journalistic Scoop Of The Century: Obama’s Signature Looks Like A Dick!

Oh good lurd
Sup, Daily Caller? Anything important happening in the world this week? No? That’s too bad, but at least it makes room among your pixels for this SHATTERING expose: Barack Obama’s signature, if you turn it sideways and then randomly add another line to it, LOOKS LIKE A DICK!

Good one, Daily Caller entertainment editor Taylor Bigler! But is it more or less clever than your previous shocking expose, “Kate’s Middle Is Gonna Weigh A Ton”? It is less clever, of course, there being a fine line between … haha, just kidding, there is no line between Taylor Bigler and stupid.


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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

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      1. JustPixelz

        Rick Scott
        Dick Cheney (it's right in his name which is kind of a clue)
        Louis Gohmert
        Dick Armey (it's right in his name)
        Sarah Palin™
        Also Hannity too.

    1. Dudleydidwrong

      Any two-dimensional cut out doll–you know, the kind writers for the Daily Caller fap to before they start their work.

    1. Gayer_Than_Thou

      I'm going to refuse to understand how the President's signature looks like a dick until one of the straight guys at the Daily Caller explains the similarity to me. In loving detail.

  1. Barbara_

    I noticed the government socialist takeover of my breakfast this morning. No matter which way I spun my bowl of Cherrios around, my cereal spelled "O" for Obama.

    Don't even get me started on what the FLOTUS did to my favorite "melts in your mouth and not your hands" candy. I see her monogram all over them now.

    1. Native_of_SL_UT

      Penis envy is strong over there,

      Besides, how many of us men would not try and make our signature look like a big dick if we only had the right set of letters to work with?

  2. NothingMissing

    That little emanation from the top adds a nice touch, too. Let’s call it the “Other People’s Money Shot”.

      1. BornInATrailer

        I'd take a pic of her, photoshop on a cock and twit it to her. But, thankfully, I do not care enough/am not that bored.

  3. JustPixelz

    What a coincidence! My avatar resembles a dick. (If you squint a certain way and hold a picture of a dick in front of your eyes.)

      1. JustPixelz

        A magic one eye! [rimshot!]
        Try moving it back and forth. [rimshot!]
        I'll bet you didn't see that coming. [rimshot!]

        Thanks everyone. I'll be here all week. Remember to tip your waitress.

  4. proudgrampa

    Daily Caller is obviously run by a bunch of 12-year olds.

    I can just picture them in a circle, jerking off and giggling.

  5. CrunchyKnee

    Daily Caller, so edgy. I suppose that will get a big larf from your Hoveround ridden demographic, who have not seen their own dicks for years.

  6. Poindexter718

    Sometimes the signature of the most-powerful-man-in-the-world-who-is-black-and-is-not-and-never-will-be-Tucker Carlson is just the signature of the most-powerful-man-in-the-world-who-is-black-and-is-not-and-never-will-be-Tucker Carlson.

  7. Beowoof

    And with every bill he signs he either shoves up a republican's ass or crams it down their throat. Happy thought.

  8. coolhandnuke

    President Obama's signature is so big, it takes two secretaries to hold the pen when he signs legislation.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      It's the next step in the evolution of a sense of humor. They already do fart jokes and black people jokes, though not of the funny variety. Several hundred thousand years hence, the conservatives may even get irony/sarcasm/subtlety.

  9. MissTaken

    I'm glad the Daily Caller really got their hands on this. Sometimes they just give you the shaft with their reporting, but this time DC really grabbed a hold of the story and didn't let go until every precious drop was squeezed out.

  10. Lizzietish81

    Oh I get it. If you look closely you see that the signature is circumcised, thus proving that Obama is a sekrit Muslim!

  11. NothingMissing

    It’s the space shuttle! And remember, Reagan and George W. Bush couldn’t always keep theirs up.

  12. el_donaldo

    I dunno, guys. Dick jokes is kinda Wonkette's main beat. Is the Daily Caller trying to get on our good side?

  13. rickmaci

    Daily Caller Chick needs to take a night class on flying craft design because THAT does not look like a space shuttle.

  14. Grokenstein

    And what does Tucker's mouth look like? And when you put the two together…
    I just gave my own sex drive a sad.

    1. vtxmcrider

      "His initial "B" and "O" are about six times the size of his following letters, a sign all by itself that his hubris is massive."

      That hubris is what keeps Michelle smiling and the rest of us fantasizing.

    2. docterry6973

      Interesting little article by a handwriting 'expert', as if there is such a thing, drawing numerous conclusions about Obama's personality, most unflattering, based on his examination of ONE SIGNATURE, evidently on a computer screen. Now there is some useful analysis, bucko!

  15. NinjaCat_Baba

    Taylor 'Dickler' Bigler acts like a dick when reporting the news and the Daily Caller is a dick for editing President Obama's signature. Basically the employees at the Daily Caller are bunch of dicks.

Comments are closed.