Sup, Daily Caller? Anything important happening in the world this week? No? That’s too bad, but at least it makes room among your pixels for this SHATTERING expose: Barack Obama’s signature, if you turn it sideways and then randomly add another line to it, LOOKS LIKE A DICK!
Good one, Daily Caller entertainment editor Taylor Bigler! But is it more or less clever than your previous shocking expose, “Kate’s Middle Is Gonna Weigh A Ton”? It is less clever, of course, there being a fine line between … haha, just kidding, there is no line between Taylor Bigler and stupid.
{ 152 comments }
You know who else resembles a dick?
See below.
Rick Scott
Dick Cheney (it's right in his name which is kind of a clue)
Hannity
Louis Gohmert
Dick Armey (it's right in his name)
Sarah Palin™
Also Hannity too.
Gumby?
I’m guessing you slept through anatomy class or only dated people made of clay.
Dangling Participle?
Ken Mehlman?
Pretty much everyone writing for the Daily Caller?
Tucker Carlson? I mean, it's kinda uncanny.
Dann Florek?
Nixon?
Boner? (John).
This guy:
——>
HEY!!!, I'm with This guy —— > !
Mitch McConnell (uncircumcised)
oh, god, no, gross….
Can't. Un. See.
Any two-dimensional cut out doll–you know, the kind writers for the Daily Caller fap to before they start their work.
Mike Huckabee?
Dan Senor's nose?
Hitler!
Floriduh?
Gun nuts?
My dick?
Tucker would know first hand what a dick looks like up close – because he is one and he likes 'em.
"I suck cock and I like it! Yummy yummy yummy"
I guess we know what they have on their minds. What are they, twelve?
I'm going to refuse to understand how the President's signature looks like a dick until one of the straight guys at the Daily Caller explains the similarity to me. In loving detail.
…..
Seriously?
I see two blue dicks. One of them is Obama's edited signature. The other is wearing a colorful shirt.
Follow Taylor on Twitter
I wouldn't follow her twitter with the President's signature.
Have you ever seen Barack Obama's signature *on weed*?
And it's a big one too.
Couldn’t be. It’s way too small.
When I turn sideways, my dick looks like____________.
Obama?
The profile of a dick?
This would make an excellent Cards Against Humanity black card.
Flat Stanley when he turns sideways?
…a festooned Trollop?
…something I ordered from Good Vibrations?
..a drone.
From straight on it's kind of Ø
Obama's signature SO BIG…
Huge, throbbing signature…
So veiny…
It's twoo!
I noticed the government socialist takeover of my breakfast this morning. No matter which way I spun my bowl of Cherrios around, my cereal spelled "O" for Obama.
Don't even get me started on what the FLOTUS did to my favorite "melts in your mouth and not your hands" candy. I see her monogram all over them now.
The sumbitch has taken over my bagels also, too!!!!
That Cheerio thing works with Froot Loops, too. I don't know what that means.
It means Obama’s position is now fully evolved.
Teh gheyz are for Obama, obvs.
I still can't eat those candies because of the Ws imprinted on them.
They really do leave an unpleasant aftertaste.
Those are actually "dubyas."
I can't even stand the spelling of "Omaha" any more, thanks to that damned Kenyan!11!11
This is your brain.
This is your brain on The Daily Caller.
It's still bigger than whatever the Daily Caller's got.
Penis envy is strong over there,
Besides, how many of us men would not try and make our signature look like a big dick if we only had the right set of letters to work with?
"I know you are, but what am I?"
Well, when you're an asshole, everything looks like a dick.
Or a piece of shit.
Bam. Journamalism. The DC will take its Pulitzer now.
Takes one to know one.
That little emanation from the top adds a nice touch, too. Let’s call it the “Other People’s Money Shot”.
Someone's jealous. Even Obama's signature is manlier.
It looks more like a two-headed dildo. Carlson must be seeing starbursts!
Is Taylor Bigler 11 years old?
The fourteen year old in me approves of this post.
What?
Shhhh — nobody tell Taylor about the Washington Monument, okay?
Taylor found her own article easy to a masturbate to.
So, wait, they added the top line?
I know. It doesn't look like a dick unless you add a line to it to make it look like a dick.
I'd take a pic of her, photoshop on a cock and twit it to her. But, thankfully, I do not care enough/am not that bored.
Wait a minute, the POTUS with the MOSTUS just got more interesting.
Dicks have drive and clarity of vision, but they are not clever.
What a coincidence! My avatar resembles a dick. (If you squint a certain way and hold a picture of a dick in front of your eyes.)
Shit, is it one of those magic eye things? Can never get those to work.
A magic one eye! [rimshot!]
Try moving it back and forth. [rimshot!]
I'll bet you didn't see that coming. [rimshot!]
Thanks everyone. I'll be here all week. Remember to tip your waitress.
I laughed, I'm not proud.
And handsome Joe's signature, when turned sideways, looks like a bitchin' Camaro.
You should see what Weedlord Bonerhitler's signature looks like sideways.
That explains why Obama begins every bill signing with, "Excuse me while I whip this out."
And ends it with a cigarette.
Shouldn't she be having a baby or something instead of drawing cocks on napkins?
Only after she's brought me my damn sammich!
Daily Caller is obviously run by a bunch of 12-year olds.
I can just picture them in a circle, jerking off and giggling.
I reckon ol' Taylor there is the pivot man. Even if he's a girl.
Anyone who wants to turn my dick sideways and add a line to it … please proceed.
Nobody had to strain that hard to see something prurient in Bush’s signature.
Alright then, whose vagina is that over there, underneath them dentata panties?
Look. I was young and needed the money. Don't judge me.
Newell's?
(I keed. He's a dick, too.)
Fuck those guys. (with votes…and, uh, signatures)
What's the matter? Did the Daily Caller already run out of ways to justify murdering children?
Daily Caller, so edgy. I suppose that will get a big larf from your Hoveround ridden demographic, who have not seen their own dicks for years.
Know what else? The guy that was president after LBJ? His name was Dick. Ha ha!!
Heheh, you said BJ and Dick!
Sometimes the signature of the most-powerful-man-in-the-world-who-is-black-and-is-not-and-never-will-be-Tucker Carlson is just the signature of the most-powerful-man-in-the-world-who-is-black-and-is-not-and-never-will-be-Tucker Carlson.
Somewhere in that long sentence is the key to their anxiety.
Wow, Daily Callgirl is being more mature than usual today.
Yeah–where's the poop jokes?
Fart! Ha ha ha ha!
And with every bill he signs he either shoves up a republican's ass or crams it down their throat. Happy thought.
And Tucker Carlson who is a huge dick spotted this. Well takes one to know one.
spotted dick? Are you British?
This is actually a map of the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex. Look it up. You will concur.
Your move, Jackie Treehorn.
There’d be more of a resemblance if it were written in black ink.
Damn! You beat me to it!
President Obama's signature is so big, it takes two secretaries to hold the pen when he signs legislation.
Finally, the right wing discovers dick jokes.
It's the next step in the evolution of a sense of humor. They already do fart jokes and black people jokes, though not of the funny variety. Several hundred thousand years hence, the conservatives may even get irony/sarcasm/subtlety.
I'm glad the Daily Caller really got their hands on this. Sometimes they just give you the shaft with their reporting, but this time DC really grabbed a hold of the story and didn't let go until every precious drop was squeezed out.
It was a lot of hard reporting, and they made sure that story wasn't limp.
And if you turn the signature backward does it say "Paul is dead"?
No, it says “Ron Paul is right.”
"Ronald Reagan"
Hahaha, it's funny, because the Daily Caller thinks that it's somehow more credible than 4chan.
The first rule of Taylor Bigler is no one talks about Taylor Bigler…
That proves it: The pen is indeed mightier…
This is what passes for entertainment among all 25 Daily Caller readers.
I wonder what Michelle's signature resembles to these people.
Just a big “O”.
Oh I get it. If you look closely you see that the signature is circumcised, thus proving that Obama is a sekrit Muslim!
It’s the space shuttle! And remember, Reagan and George W. Bush couldn’t always keep theirs up.
Oh for fuck's sake. Grow up.
Wonkette Libel!!
So BIGler is the "Entertainment" editor, eh? Must be. She certainly knows her way around a signature.
And the “B” neatly forms the appropriate parts. How’s that for an acrostic!
I dunno, guys. Dick jokes is kinda Wonkette's main beat. Is the Daily Caller trying to get on our good side?
Wow. That says a LOT about Daily Caller. (Seriously, I just yelled "WHAT?!" at my computer, I'm sure to the delight of my coworkers.)
(fapfapfapfap…)
Jesus, and I thought the people on Wonkette had an infantile obsession with the naughty bits.
That's funny, all I see is the Man Of La Mancha.
http://www.poorwilliam.net/pix/man_of_la_mancha-p…
What, no auto-pen(is) jokes?
Daily Caller=radical yell=all yard lice=a clear dilly
I'm calling her Bigler Dickler, because I think it sounds funnier than stupid bitch.
The position of the balls makes it look like a dick seen from below at rest on a glass coffee table.
Regrettably, I'll have to take your word for it!
I can do better than that, what's your number?
Daily Caller Chick needs to take a night class on flying craft design because THAT does not look like a space shuttle.
And what does Tucker's mouth look like? And when you put the two together…
…Aw.
I just gave my own sex drive a sad.
My God…
The most pathetic part of this is that they've altered his signature so that it looks like a penis.
This is his real signature:
http://www.americanthinker.com/2012/02/barack_oba…
And by "pathetic" I mean gay.
"His initial "B" and "O" are about six times the size of his following letters, a sign all by itself that his hubris is massive."
That hubris is what keeps Michelle smiling and the rest of us fantasizing.
Interesting little article by a handwriting 'expert', as if there is such a thing, drawing numerous conclusions about Obama's personality, most unflattering, based on his examination of ONE SIGNATURE, evidently on a computer screen. Now there is some useful analysis, bucko!
Taylor 'Dickler' Bigler acts like a dick when reporting the news and the Daily Caller is a dick for editing President Obama's signature. Basically the employees at the Daily Caller are bunch of dicks.
Erm. I thought we all noticed this in junior high. Which we attended with Barry.
"Yeah, and it's deep, too."
I've got your signature right here, Taylor.
Comments on this entry are closed.