OUR NATIONAL PRIORITIES AT THIS TIME  6:36 pm December 17, 2012

New Victims Of Newtown Identified: NFL Fans Whose Games Were Pre-Empted By Villain President

by Doktor Zoom

People Who Know Their Priorities[Updated at 6:50 PM] At a prayer vigil for the victims of the massacre in Newtown, Connecticut, President Barack Obama, citing Paul’s Letter to the Corinthians, urged a grieving nation,

“Do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, inwardly, we are being renewed day by day.

“For light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all, so we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

Unfortunately, for some idiot NFL fans, what was unseen was a bunch of large men trying to give each other head injuries, and what was seen was a black man interrupting their sacred blood sport. Happily, they had the chance to share these thoughts on Twitter, and some 41 of their heartfelt cries of butthurt were collected by the sportsgawking blog Deadspin.

In addition to the people angered by the interruption of f’ball, at least three people were seriously angered that the commemoration of the deaths of 20 children and six school staff caused them to miss a substantial portion of a Fox Network cartoon sitcom:

Even clearer priorities

And another gentleman took the opportunity of his notoriety to turn his Twitter feed into a clearinghouse for wingnut insanity, including re-tweeting Pam Geller’s declaration that reading the names of the 20 murdered children was somehow hypocritical, since Obama didn’t read the names of the dead at Ft. Hood on national TV:

How dare Obama politicize this tragedy!

Of the 40 accounts listed in the Deadspin piece, 21 of them were closed or set to “private” by late this afternoon. A few of the geniuses from the piece seemed genuinely pleased, or at least not at all embarrassed, to have their idiocy picked up by a widely read aggregator:

Why is everyone making such a big deal about this?

We await the breathless announcement from Breitbart.com that all of the tweets calling the President a nigger were actually sent by Democratic Party operatives trying to make opponents of the President look bad.

Here, by the way, is the speech that interrupted the sacred NFL game:

UPDATE: Somehow we missed this: the guy who posted the first message in the Deadspin article was a walk-on kicker for the University of North Alabama f’ball team. He has been kicked off the team for exercising his right to be an idiot in public.

[Deadspin]

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{ 434 comments }

Cleopatriot December 17, 2012 at 6:38 pm

This is another good reason to hate football–its fans are racists.

Jukesgrrl December 17, 2012 at 6:56 pm

Please don't make such a sweeping statement. We're fans of several sports in my house and I don't think we're racists. Whether or not you like football, millions of Americans do. We aren't all racists and many of us favor strict gun control. In fact, both NBA and NFL players themselves had some moving tributes for the victims prior to their games. Some of them included their own children (usually shielded from public view) in the ceremonies. Many players and fans (and even one team owner I can think of) are strong supporters of the president.

ButthurtWingers2012 December 17, 2012 at 7:07 pm

Totally true…my zeal toward pro-football has declined severely since 2006 (a severe injury somehow killed it…well, I used to be a major sports guy anyway) but all of my friends backhome were football fans, most were liberal (in Utah!) and not a single racist in the group. It's actually an anachronism to have many racist idiot football fans since over 50% of the players are black. Not to mention but Rush did get ran within days of the bullshit he said about Donovan McNabb (even his godawful teevee show lasted longer)…say what you will about the need for professional football or what people get paid to play it but it's a bastion of inclusion; much more than say…most University faculties for instance.

Callyson December 17, 2012 at 8:22 pm

Now that you mention it, I hope things are going well with Dan Rooney.

Lascauxcaveman December 18, 2012 at 12:48 am

They had a brief but touching moment of the Seahawks and the Bills honoring the Newtown victims before the 'hawks kicked the Bills asses in some stadium up in Canada City of all places. (Seahawks 50, Bills 17)

The brief memorial may have been a bit awkward, but it was clearly heartfelt. I don't follow twits, but none of the comments I read on the internet forums that I do read after sports events had anything negative to say about the whole thing. (Well, except maybe about the Bills offense. And their defense.)

ugodOH December 17, 2012 at 7:52 pm

I know, it's like why I hate the Irish, because they're all a bunch of drunks . . . or maybe we can leave the defamatory stereotyping to the FOX News message boards.

VodkaGoGo December 17, 2012 at 7:54 pm

This wonkette community works really well because I think every commenter holds a certain amount of respect for eachother. It is a nice, peaceful corner of the internet where we don't flame eachother. Football fans are not inherently racsist. Don't paint us all with that brush.

NYNYNYjr December 17, 2012 at 8:04 pm

Racist

VodkaGoGo December 17, 2012 at 8:40 pm

Dude, I want to flame you now for such a simple response but that would contradict the intent of my earlier post so I won't.

NYNYNYjr December 17, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Typical racist response. I can't believe this is the 21st century.

BerkeleyBear December 17, 2012 at 8:07 pm

In all seriousness, that's just ridiculous. Football is one of the few true meritocracies in our society – either you can play, or you can't. Most NFL fans get that, and are if anything less apt to be racists (although the morons who turn the success of African Americans on the field as fodder for racist views about mental v. physical superiority (aka Rush Limbaugh) do exist). The fact that a few dozen idiots used a racial epithet out of millions of fans (most of whom, like me, didn't mind the interruption) is no more a cause to indict those millions than your sweeping generalization is a reason for me to assume you always fail to engage in analysis before commenting and as a result disregard everything you ever post from here on out.

BloviateMe December 17, 2012 at 8:56 pm

As an avid football fan, I absolutely agree, especially the part where football fans are more apt to be less racist than the general population of any given state. On the gridiron, winning is more important than cultural bigotry.

Lascauxcaveman December 18, 2012 at 12:53 am

So, the football fan in me wants to say "RG3: great rookie quarterback – or greatest rookie quarterback?" But as a Seahawks fan I'm also following Russell Wilson very closely so I will withhold judgement for now.

BloviateMe December 18, 2012 at 1:08 am

OK. Since we're going to go full football: RG3, obvious great pick….but Russell Wilson? That short little bastard who is "too short to be a QB in the league" is the ABSOLUTE steal of the draft. As a Vikes fan, I'm forced to watch scruffy ass Ponder week after week and hope he doesn't throw a game away…while Wilson takes over games and wills victories. Seriously Lascaux, he is one of the most impressive rookies I have seen in awhile, especially considering where he was drafted.

BloviateMe December 18, 2012 at 12:18 am

Oh, as a secondary observation, Berkeley, you should maybe go a little easier on Cleopatriot. If you don't watch football, and aren't a fan of the game, it's easy to pigeonhole it as an exercise in steroid idiots beating the shit out of each other for the idiot masses. I would do the same with NASCAR. To me, it's a bunch of guys taking left turns all the live long day. I seriously don't get it. Maybe somebody could tell me why it's worth watching, but I could easily take the whole sport and take a big shit on it, as I'm unaware of any nuance to the sport

BerkeleyBear December 18, 2012 at 6:31 am

Shitting on any sport's (assuming NASCAR is a sport and not a competition, an active debate) fan base (not the sport itself which is a matter of taste) based on such a small sample is stupid. Watching NASCAR is a largely a past time of white Southerners (as is pro bass fishing) but to assume they are all redneck idiots because a few Yahoos booed Jill Biden and Michelle Obama is to take the sort of narrow tunnel vision that helps reinforce polarization in this society.

I actually thought I was rather measured, but I'm also a rat bastard who is tired of hearing football attacked recently (even as I shudder to think what I may have done to my brain given how many things I hit with my head when I played).

Callyson December 17, 2012 at 8:20 pm

Just want to support what others are saying here: a few assholes do not represent the totality of NFL fans.

smokefilledroommate December 17, 2012 at 11:04 pm

HEY! I bleed Eagles green and resent that comment.

LesBontemps December 18, 2012 at 9:13 am

With this year's record you must need a tourniquet.

smokefilledroommate December 18, 2012 at 5:08 pm

Yes. yes I do.

Tangled sin tax December 18, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Oh, not necessarily – just easily amused.

Theywontlisten December 18, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Stop it or go work for Fucks News.

Cleopatriot December 18, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Die.

Come here a minute December 17, 2012 at 6:40 pm

It's okay, President Obama wasn't speaking to those assholes.

Dudleydidwrong December 17, 2012 at 10:01 pm

I think that he was, but you can't make them listen.

ibwilliamsi December 17, 2012 at 10:08 pm

Sadly, they weren't listening, either.

OzoneTom December 17, 2012 at 6:40 pm

Bradley Patterson was doubly-victimized since he was kicked off University of North Alabama's football team after his insane twatting became an embarrassment for the school. Good times.

stopthemovie December 17, 2012 at 6:53 pm

Should have left him on the team bet that would be a hoot in the locker room with some of his teamates!

ButthurtWingers2012 December 17, 2012 at 7:10 pm

Not to mention…but I'm sure the Jaguars (yes I know who the team is) probably have some rather large black atheletes who would love for a walk-on kicker to drop n-bombs on them. Even if he doesn't get beaten up for such stupidity he is now an embarassment to the entire institution…good luck finding professors who'll give you an easy time of it now, Bradley.

BerkeleyBear December 17, 2012 at 8:13 pm

Lions, not Jags (that's both Southern U and the University of South Alabama). Still, your comment rings true based on the cover of the media guide: http://issuu.com/unalionathletics/docs/2012footba

Ironically enough, the document is titled "House United".

docterry6973 December 17, 2012 at 7:32 pm

Surely Bradley Patterson is the real victim here. I'm pretty sure he will find a way to tell us all about it.

Sparky McGruff December 18, 2012 at 8:37 am

I bet he's got a deal in the works for a Newsmax column and a slot as guest host on Hannity.

JohnnyQuick December 17, 2012 at 9:58 pm

However, he did manage to embarrass North Alabama, which is some sort of achievement.

Negropolis December 18, 2012 at 8:46 am

Wait. Stop. Northern Alabama has a university?!

I know, I know "Huntsville libel!"

Tangled sin tax December 18, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Where do you think Huck got his squirrel recipe?

FlownOver December 17, 2012 at 6:42 pm

Paging Mike Huckabee – we've found just the folks you need to get God back into public schools.

Not_So_Much December 17, 2012 at 6:42 pm

I hope they all meet the men of their dreams so they can stop projecting all that frustration.

On the other hand, fuck 'em (with votes?).

LesBontemps December 18, 2012 at 9:15 am

With rusty chainsaws, sideways.

Crank_Tango December 17, 2012 at 6:42 pm

I've already seen all these fucking tweets, and what I really want to talk about is whose cameltoe that was this morning? It would be irresponsible of me NOT to speculate…

ButthurtWingers2012 December 17, 2012 at 7:13 pm

I'll go out on a limb and say not Rebecca…not because her cameltoe isn't lovely (I'm sure it is) but just that Wonkette has tenuous dignity as it is (good for a warblog) but having the dommie blogatrix showing off her cameltoe in such a way…eh, she doesn't strike me as that kind of chick. Chances are it's some hot friend of hers because running wonkette does not equip one with the means to hire models…that's my speculation anyway.

PubOption December 17, 2012 at 7:45 pm

KBJ was the original t-shirt model, maybe she also did the panties.

Aridzona December 17, 2012 at 8:29 pm

I dunno but every time I see it I hear Maria Muldair singing Midnight at the Oasis.

Steverino247 December 17, 2012 at 8:56 pm

It's KBJ, but don't ask me how I know.

chascates December 17, 2012 at 10:04 pm

How do you know?

Barbara_ December 17, 2012 at 6:43 pm

I'd like to visit these people and connect my foot to their balls as hard as I possibly can.

redarmyzombie December 17, 2012 at 6:52 pm

If you like, I have a length of splintered 2X4 I could lend.

petforest December 17, 2012 at 6:56 pm

More to the point, will they get a visit from the Secret Service?

JustPixelz December 17, 2012 at 7:06 pm

You're being too nice to them. But you're such a nice person.

ButthurtWingers2012 December 17, 2012 at 7:15 pm

just remind them most of the players on their favorite teams are black…that probably gets them REALLY angry like the time I reminded my grandfather (he was sick with cancer and bitter as all hell at this point) that Notre Dame's (my grandfather was a fightin' Irishman) football team was almost exclusively black which I thought was cool…big mistake haha

Steverino247 December 17, 2012 at 8:59 pm

OT, but we made it home okay about an hour ago. And let me kick them in the balls. My size 15's are made for such work.

Barbara_ December 17, 2012 at 10:04 pm

I am so glad you got home safely.

iburl December 17, 2012 at 6:43 pm

Their IQs are flying at half-mast.

unclejeems December 17, 2012 at 9:03 pm

No, I think that's about as far up their, er, poles as their IQs can reach.

Callyson December 17, 2012 at 6:44 pm

Assholes like this make me ashamed to be a football fan.

/FFS

ButthurtWingers2012 December 17, 2012 at 7:16 pm

I don't mind them so much because you know they have some serious identity problems when a black player on their team is the leader…the ones that bother me are the assholes who exploit such racism by making them feel it's correct….fucking GOP.

Tequila Mockingbird December 17, 2012 at 6:45 pm

I'm going to do a shot every time one of them responds with "I'm not racist, I have black friends" or some such variant.

emmelemm December 17, 2012 at 6:48 pm

And you'll be dead inside of half an hour.

Callyson December 17, 2012 at 6:48 pm

Jesus, be careful–don't die of alcohol poisoning, now…

Crank_Tango December 17, 2012 at 6:56 pm

Lemme know if you need someone to keep an eye on you ; )

ButthurtWingers2012 December 17, 2012 at 7:22 pm

Not only that but these kinds of jagoffs I'm sure are just the type who got mad of people making fun of Bush's childlike intellect because we "weren't respectin' the office" (sort of the easy slam against ALL rightwing pundits).

If you make a drinking game of that you'll be drunker than your avatar and Lohan are on a daily basis…stomach pump city for you! Just make one promise, no funny drunken switching of your avatar to be that pic of her when her badly maimed tit fell out at that award show…it's the only time I've seen the tits on an at least nominally attractive woman and felt worse for it afterwards…

tessiee December 17, 2012 at 10:25 pm

"If you make a drinking game of that you'll be drunker than your avatar"

Wait… her avatar isn't her picture?

Biff December 17, 2012 at 7:26 pm

I'll hold your hair when you need to barf!

finallyhappy December 17, 2012 at 6:45 pm

Remember the good old days when stupid racists could not get their message out except over certain limited radio stations. Now we are all part of their audience.

ButthurtWingers2012 December 17, 2012 at 7:23 pm

that's the joys of Limbaugh for you…not only did he give them a forum for their ugh…ideas but his assumed popularity makes them think they're totally mainstream.

cousinitt December 17, 2012 at 6:45 pm

Stay classy, America!

gullywompr December 17, 2012 at 6:45 pm

The person that made that very first tweet on the list was kicked off his own foortball team at the University of Northern Alabama for doing so,

“Thx 2 everyone who brought the inappropriate tweet to our attention,” UNA Athletic Director Mark Linder tweeted later that evening. “@UNAAthletics does not condone. He is no longer a member of the team.”

Wile E. Quixote December 17, 2012 at 6:52 pm

He was a walk-on player, now I guess he's a walk-off player.

Guppy December 17, 2012 at 7:26 pm

Yet another upstanding young man with his life ruined by B. Hussein!

Veritas78 December 17, 2012 at 8:12 pm

Well, it was his one chance at anything bigger than being night manager of a Taco Bell.

Imagine how bitter he'll be in 20 years: fat, bald, drunk, and unarmed—if we do our job.

Monsieur_Grumpe December 17, 2012 at 6:46 pm

Stay Classy America.

a_pink_poodle December 17, 2012 at 6:47 pm

You're all taking these football fan's comments entirely out of context! If anyone is the real racist here, it's you liberals.

NYNYNYjr December 17, 2012 at 8:06 pm

These liberals are the real racists. Because they support aborting black people. Why won't Obama read a list of all the names of the babies who have been aborted by liberals?

greenloner December 18, 2012 at 12:12 am

Please do your commenting where your "thinking" is appreciated. Here is no place for you.

mmeetoilenoir December 18, 2012 at 12:29 am

You really, really need a snark tune-up.

sullivanst December 18, 2012 at 8:47 am

Annnnnnnnd Poe's Law claims another victim.

NYNYNYjr December 18, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Choke on a vegan waffle. With votes.

Blunderthing December 17, 2012 at 6:47 pm

America has some flaming assholes. Film at eleven.

redarmyzombie December 17, 2012 at 6:54 pm

"Breaking News: Man's Posterior Spontaneously Combusts!"

TribecaMike December 18, 2012 at 1:00 am

Tomorrow's weather: tight sweaters and blond wing hats.

DerrickWildcat December 17, 2012 at 6:47 pm

I screw around on the Yahoo articles and from what I've seen, the nuts have gotten even worse after the election. It's really bad.

gullywompr December 17, 2012 at 6:57 pm

Shocking, ain't it?

Redgyal December 17, 2012 at 10:23 pm

No. Par for course. This is America.

Butch_Wagstaff December 17, 2012 at 7:02 pm

No shit. I thought that they had really lost their minds back in 2008. I could never imagine that they could become crazier. But they have.

Vecchiojohn December 17, 2012 at 7:12 pm

Good! It's a sign that their butts hurt worse than ever.

Callyson December 17, 2012 at 8:25 pm

Yeah, I had to give up on Yahoo! Shine articles because of them. Damn wingnuts can't even read an article about fashion or beauty without coming up with a trumped up complaint against liberals…

/assholes

ButthurtWingers2012 December 17, 2012 at 8:51 pm

Of course….really it's a simple reason. Imagine a bully who gets beaten up or showed up by someone they are SURE is inferior to them. Now imagine that supposed inferior doing it a second time almost as emphatically as the first time after the bully has spent four years pissing in his cheerios and poisoning his wells. Now imagine the bully is white conservatism and the 'inferior' is Barack Hussein Obama….see why these little bitches are so mad and whiney?

Redgyal December 17, 2012 at 10:25 pm

Last sentence, yes that.

BarackMyWorld December 17, 2012 at 6:48 pm

I guess four adults killed three months ago is more newsworthy than 20 children and some school teachers killed three days ago. Way to prioritize, wingnuts.

SorosBot December 17, 2012 at 7:18 pm

Plus I seem to recall him talking about those killings at the time. What, is he supposed to keep bringing that up, over and over again, like a broken record? Because for someone to do that, unless they were family or friends with one of the victims, would be pointless and pathetic.

MissTaken December 17, 2012 at 7:23 pm

Yes, duh,…..BENGHAZI1!

ButthurtWingers2012 December 17, 2012 at 8:58 pm

Nahh…he just has to admit that he deliberately failed to do anything to prevent Benghazi and wingnuts will be happy…to impeach and assassinate him. What's so pathetic about it is they used to (probably still do) bristle like a fucking porcupine if people even alluded to the Bush Admin not exactly doing much to prevent 9/11 from occuring. It's the ambient hypocrisy of the modern right that anything bad that happens on their watch (at home, mind you) cannot have been forseen but if something tragic happens in another country on the other side of the world with a Democratic president…you better believe incompetence/treason is at the heart of it.

TribecaMike December 17, 2012 at 11:08 pm

Oh, those blahs and their constant refrains.

tessiee December 17, 2012 at 10:17 pm

'What, is he supposed to keep bringing that up, over and over again, like a broken record?"

Yeah, that's THEIR job.

ButthurtWingers2012 December 17, 2012 at 8:54 pm

There is never an instant inside Pam Gellar's world where Obama didn't kill those people himself to advance his Muslin Brotherhood friends. The fact that he does not begin EVERY public appearance reading the names and begging for forgiveness is to that racist psycho twatbag just more reason to think he is guilty or killing them. I seem to remember Dubya never read the names of any 9/11 casualties and his administration was so fucking bereft of human decency Rumsfeld used to auto-pen soldier death notices…were wingnuts ever upset about any of it? Of course not…Bush was white!

tessiee December 17, 2012 at 10:18 pm

Dubya never read the names of any 9/11 casualties and his administration was so fucking bereft of human decency that he laughed and giggled like the brain-damaged idiot that he was, while crawling around on his hands and knees pretending to look for weapons of mass destruction under his desk.

gullywompr December 17, 2012 at 10:39 pm

"Nope, no WMD's under there!" was incredibly offensive.

Monsieur_Grumpe December 17, 2012 at 6:50 pm

I wonder if Americans have always been this crude and vulgar or is it just the anonymity of the internet brings it out into the light.

I am disgusted.

docterry6973 December 17, 2012 at 7:43 pm

In my experience we have always been this crude and vulgar. The Internet just adds range. We hear the assholes at much greater distances than we once did.

sullivanst December 18, 2012 at 8:43 am

I'd rather they express their racism by twatting than lynching.

sewollef December 18, 2012 at 8:44 am

Ok, I'm a foreigner and although I've lived here [NYC] for nearly 10 years, I've clearly been living in my own quiet, very liberal corner of Brooklyn, hanging out with all my leftist friends.

However, I don't know what a "sand nigger" is. Anyone?

sullivanst December 18, 2012 at 8:59 am

Anyone in the approximate color region populated by them Ay-rabs, which is clear proof of being a turrrurst.

Chet Kincaid_ December 18, 2012 at 8:57 am

"Yes" to both questions, which is why I find it less and less interesting, entertaining or profitable to spend so much time and so many Wonkette posts staring into the commonplace and uninteresting sewer of Twitter posts and Web comments.

Tequila Mockingbird December 17, 2012 at 6:50 pm

I'm sure they all just meant "nigga," y'know, like rappers.

iburl December 17, 2012 at 11:28 pm

Yeah, how come black people are allowed to ….. duh blah blah blah duh blah blah blah duh.

Hera Sent Me December 17, 2012 at 6:50 pm

The irony of white racists being outraged by unexpectedly hearing a black man speak, rather than watching (mostly) black men give one another concussions for money, is just too obvious to comment on further.

ButthurtWingers2012 December 17, 2012 at 9:02 pm

Which is part of their built-in defense mechanism when someone accuses them of racism. It's like the old days when virulent racist assholes would contest being called as such because they once saw Cab Calloway or Little Richard play and didn't try to assassinate them. Of course that it's Obama and not someone respectable like Mittens of Romney taking up their time enhances the anger…he's only a twice elected President and the most popular Democratic President since FDR…it's clear there should be no respect given…nope, piss on his head.

Redgyal December 17, 2012 at 10:22 pm

Well short explanation ….. One is a fantasy for them the other is a nightmare. Understand?

NYNYNYjr December 18, 2012 at 3:03 pm

….by hearing a black man speak about the deaths of white children instead of seeing black millionaires wrestle over a ball….. I don't know if its obvious… but its weird. I remember these white supremecist teenagers I ran into liked listening to black rap… I wondered if it was all about black people killing each other; similar to concussing each other? I think there's a doctorate in sociology thesis there somewhere.

Callyson December 17, 2012 at 6:50 pm

Also–have these morons never heard of TiVo?

CivicHoliday December 17, 2012 at 6:50 pm

How bout you turn on the goddamn radio or watch the beginning streamed on your computer if you are so fucking impatient? My GOD these people…

TootsStansbury December 17, 2012 at 6:51 pm

Fucking Hell. I wish I could think this was the dregs of our populous. Just fuck. Fuck this noise.

Doktor Zoom December 17, 2012 at 6:55 pm

You can safely assume that they are.

gullywompr December 17, 2012 at 7:02 pm

Assume racists dregs.

AlterNewt December 17, 2012 at 6:51 pm

But who won the game?

Callyson December 17, 2012 at 8:27 pm

That's the irony: it was the *second* half that was the exciting part!

Oh, in case that was a serious question:

San Francisco41
New England34

AlterNewt December 17, 2012 at 9:26 pm

You are so lovable.

Callyson December 17, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Aww, people are being so sweet tonight. Glad some people have the holiday spirit. :-)

redarmyzombie December 17, 2012 at 6:51 pm

Miss (Mrs?) Editrix,

Do I HAVE to end all my sentences with votes today? They're starting to wear kinda thin…

Hammiepants December 17, 2012 at 6:51 pm

Also, if these geniuses could actually read above a second grade level, they would have seen the notice on the crawl that the game was available on the NBC Sports Network. However, being cracker douchecopters who live in places where shoes are largely optional, they probably don't have cable.

Dudleydidwrong December 17, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Or can't read the crawls…

tessiee December 17, 2012 at 10:21 pm

"cracker douchecopters who live in places where shoes are largely optional"

They'll wish they had those shoes next year, when they get bell-bottoms.

sullivanst December 18, 2012 at 8:41 am

They'll probably get the Bell Bottom Blues.

TavariousChinaSmith December 17, 2012 at 11:30 pm

Antenna Libel!

MonkeyHamlet December 17, 2012 at 6:51 pm

Can Washington contemplate asshole control as well as gun control?

sullivanst December 18, 2012 at 8:40 am

No, our Government has a constitutionally protected right to meet there, unfortunately.

sewollef December 18, 2012 at 8:51 am

I thought that was called sphincter control. You know, when you're desperate to go but are nowhere near a bathroom.

BarackMyWorld December 17, 2012 at 6:52 pm

OBAMA JUST CAPTURED LEX LUTHOR AND DESTROYED THE DEATHSTAR…WHY WONT HE TALK ABOUT LIBYA????

imissopus December 17, 2012 at 8:15 pm

You jest, but I got into it last night on Twitter with that nutbag who writes Protein Wisdom, and he did apropos of nothing actually pull Benghazi out of his ass.

sewollef December 18, 2012 at 8:52 am

Benghazi is a pretty big town, this douche must have a giant asshole. Sorry, I meant must be a giant asshole.

tessiee December 17, 2012 at 10:22 pm

ALSO WEHREZ TEH BIRF SERFITICKET???

Hedley_Lamarr December 17, 2012 at 6:52 pm

Ladies and Gentlemen, your Republican Party.

DesertTed December 17, 2012 at 6:54 pm

We don't need the President quoting Scripture because the NFL has Tim Tebow.

rocktonsam December 17, 2012 at 6:55 pm

so their logic is to get one n-word off the teevee so they can cuss a whole bunch of them. More hate for the buck.

NFL= no fun league

mavenmaven December 17, 2012 at 6:57 pm

Guns, Football and Racism. Welcome to today's GOP.

RadioBitchFace December 17, 2012 at 9:57 pm

Yes, but don't ever forget tax breaks for the rich.

redarmyzombie December 17, 2012 at 6:57 pm

You know, reading the comments of certain NFL fans gives one a newfound appreciation for how truly enlightened Honey Boo-Boo really is…

Blueb4sinrise December 17, 2012 at 6:59 pm

HEY PEOPLE!!! PEOPLE!!!! ENOUGH OF THAT!!!
Electors in ARIZONA are dealing with SERIOUS STUFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Like BIRFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFCERTIFICATESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
http://livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/entry/az-el

Guppy December 17, 2012 at 7:28 pm

What, no votes for Ron Paul?

Huckabee was right: God really has abandoned us.

Biff December 17, 2012 at 7:31 pm

Yay!

Callyson December 17, 2012 at 8:29 pm

Must stop saying it…can't stop saying it…

Oh, for fuck's sake.

Blueb4sinrise December 17, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Don't sweat it. You perform a valuable service. I'm not the only one who reads a post and often the first thought is : Where's Callyson.

Callyson December 17, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Aww, I'm blushing…

Negropolis December 18, 2012 at 12:12 am

The electors here in Michigan did an awesome takedown of Governor Right-to-Work-(for-Less) bill. lol

TribecaMike December 18, 2012 at 2:05 am

Since Mitt won the majority of AZ votes, it doesn't really matter what this nutter thinks, except in the grand scheme of things, i.e., his dreams of an eternal white bread majority are numbered. Viva la raza!

barto December 17, 2012 at 6:59 pm

Imagine if he'd pre-empted Honey Boo Boo!

johnnyzhivago December 17, 2012 at 7:00 pm

What's this N****** doing on my screen, I just wanna watch football???

Has this nitwit ever seen who's PLAYING FOOTBALL????????????????

There's like 20 or 30 N******* on the field the whole game. Everyone except the Quarterback who has to be a honkey due to some sort of union rule.

Jeebus, Mary and Joseph, this makes me so fucking sick. I'm moving back to Czechoslovakia!

Wile E. Quixote December 17, 2012 at 7:20 pm

It would be really nice if the NFL did some outreach by sending 20 or 30 of its larger and blacker players to go have a heart to heart talk with some of these guys.

Dashboard Buddha December 17, 2012 at 9:06 pm

Now, that would be must see football.

:"Hello little white man…please illuminate us on your views of niggers"

chascates December 17, 2012 at 9:39 pm

There's a scene in the movie Silver Streak where Richard Pryor's character (playing a train porter) is insulted and whips out a large revolver, shoving it in the racist's (British master criminal) face and demanding "Who you callin' nigger, mother fucker!!!!!"

emmelemm December 17, 2012 at 10:29 pm

"Dead honkey!"

NYNYNYjr December 17, 2012 at 8:10 pm

They want to see N****s hurting each other, not reading from the bible.

P.S. I noticed the Bob's Burgers idiots did not use the N word. Congratulations idiots, you know how to hide your racism! PPS: I now hate this show, which I have never seen.

Redgyal December 17, 2012 at 10:30 pm

Silly show. Comes after Simpsons. That is your answer there.

BerkeleyBear December 17, 2012 at 8:27 pm

If that's the rule, it is getting broken in both direction (white guys at WR and RB for the Patriots, Denver, Indy, Miami,etc. and dusky hued gents starting for Carolina, Seattle, Washington, Philly, Tampa, SF along with backups in various spots). I'm enjoying the slow breakdown of the assumptions in the game that one group or another was more cerebral and the other more athletic, along with the sprinkling of other minorities (asians and hispanics) finally showing up.

sullivanst December 18, 2012 at 8:35 am

the assumptions in the game that one group or another was more cerebral and the other more athletic

Around here, I think we usually call that "racism". Especially those of us familiar with the fact that the European white supremecists justifying the rape and pillage of an entire continent used exactly those descriptions to claim that this proved that white people were more developed (later, "evolved") than black people, and therefore it was only right that we got to take all their stuff [ETA: including, of course, their selves].

Jennyjen798 December 17, 2012 at 8:53 pm

May I tag along in your suitcase please? Czechoslovakia is sounding pretty nice right now…

johnnyzhivago December 17, 2012 at 9:06 pm

Only problem is home country is cell phone service, but if you hold onto an iron pipe with your foot in a bucket of water it's not so bad.  Oh wait, that's New York City.

Jennyjen798 December 17, 2012 at 9:22 pm

I hear CR has a pretty good internet set up. The internet is all I need!

tessiee December 17, 2012 at 10:31 pm

'if you hold onto an iron pipe with your foot in a bucket of water it's not so bad"

OK, I've got my foot in a bucket of water…
And I'm holding onto an iron pipe…
Now, if I just…
[remembers tenth grade physics class, specifically the chapter about electricity]
Aha-ha-ha, I see what you did there! You mischief maker! Not gonna fool ME with that! My hair is curly enough, thank you!

Steverino247 December 17, 2012 at 9:03 pm

You'll need a time machine to get to Czechoslovakia as that split into the Czech Republic and Slovak Republic in 1993.

johnnyzhivago December 17, 2012 at 9:07 pm

I hear they're getting back together.

tessiee December 17, 2012 at 10:32 pm

Their Facebook status is "it's complicated".

sewollef December 18, 2012 at 9:08 am

As an EU citizen, I could live there too.

I love Prague…. and then, the Czech Republic ranks in the top 10 countries worldwide with the fastest average internet speed.

Jennyjen798 December 17, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Too bad I damaged the Flux Capacitor on my last time travel trip. Repairs are such a bitch! ;)

MosesInvests December 17, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Me and my brother Yorgi, we would go to the swinging singles bars….

Biff December 17, 2012 at 10:05 pm

FOXES!

MosesInvests December 17, 2012 at 10:52 pm

We are two wild and crazy guys!

chascates December 17, 2012 at 10:11 pm

What are the pot laws in the old country? And I'm hoping there are shitloads of great breweries, charcutiers, and bakeries you can walk to?

sundaytrucker December 17, 2012 at 7:02 pm

Wow, imagine how bad it would've been if the president had interrupted nascar.

johnnyzhivago December 17, 2012 at 7:02 pm

Are you ready for some ASSHOLES???????????????

Tundra Grifter December 17, 2012 at 7:04 pm

I read those comments and My, that sure was a buzzkill.

Tundra Grifter December 17, 2012 at 7:05 pm

Today we all aren't Bradley Patterson, and that's a good thing…

BlueStateLibel December 17, 2012 at 7:11 pm

…and the worms come slithering from out under the rocks.

sufferinsuccotash December 17, 2012 at 8:19 pm

I resent that — Worm

emmelemm December 17, 2012 at 10:15 pm

Worms are useful.

Dudleydidwrong December 17, 2012 at 10:16 pm

More like creeping shit.

Beowoof December 17, 2012 at 7:12 pm

After years of working with the public in an open enrollment institution, I would expect nothing less. And does Fox realize their audience turns over to football at 8:30 on Sunday nights.

BaldarTFlagass December 17, 2012 at 7:15 pm

The game was on NBC Sports satellite channel and CNBC. Just because Bob Costas told you doesn't mean it wasn't true.

SorosBot December 17, 2012 at 7:15 pm

Psst, no one remind these racist football fans what color most of their favorite teams' players are.

Biff December 17, 2012 at 7:34 pm

Pointed that out to a former co-worker one time. He responded "well, my niggers can beat your niggers…"

sullivanst December 18, 2012 at 8:31 am

Ah, they must be the "good" kind, then.

Troglodeity December 17, 2012 at 7:15 pm

I think these people really should blame the organizers of the Newtown prayer vigil, who obviously had no sense of proportion in scheduling it to take place the same time as a football game.

PuglyDoRight December 17, 2012 at 7:16 pm

I'm confused…I thought one or two of the players were dark-skinned also.

MissNancyPriss December 17, 2012 at 7:17 pm

The most shocking news here is that anyone watches "Bob's Burgers".

shelwood46 December 17, 2012 at 7:55 pm

Aw, I just started watching it on Hulu, and it's actually quite amusing. Terrible name, though.

MissNancyPriss December 17, 2012 at 9:08 pm

It looks like crap though, no?

Biff December 17, 2012 at 10:09 pm

It's pretty funny. "Bob" is voiced by Jon Benjamin, same guy who does Sterling Archer, my other favorite cartoon character…

tessiee December 17, 2012 at 10:34 pm

He's also the voice of Coach McGurk on "Home Movies".

Biff December 17, 2012 at 10:49 pm

Now I'll have to find that show, too!

Negropolis December 18, 2012 at 12:14 am

I can get into most animated sit-coms, but I can't do Bob's Burgers, at least not yet. Maybe, though, it'll be like King of the Hill or American Dad, the former which took me until almost the end of its run to finally get it.

criticaldragon December 18, 2012 at 1:20 am

I watch Bobs Burgers. Its funny, but I don't like enough, or any other show enough be anywhere near as insensitive as these people are being. I'm not going to go on twitter and complain because the show was per-empted (or any other show I like) so they could show a speech by president Obama at what amounts to a funeral for the young victims of the Sandy Hook shooting. Not to mention, I'm not a racist, so I wouldn't use the "N word" unlike many of these sick people. Even when I didn't like Obama, I'd never do anything as stupid or insensitive as these clowns!

Rebootably_Joe December 17, 2012 at 7:17 pm

I'm actually most offended at Jarred Faul, who can't even seem to get his ethnic slurs straight. No, Jarred, you mean the regular kind.

In a pageant of dipshits, Jarred still comes out looking like a relative moron. Pretty impressive.

NYNYNYjr December 17, 2012 at 8:12 pm

I think Jared is using that term to refer to Obama's Radical Muslim faith, not his ethnicity.

emmelemm December 17, 2012 at 8:14 pm

You may be giving him too much credit. Still, it's possible.

Rebootably_Joe December 17, 2012 at 8:47 pm

C'est possible, but my understanding has always been that it was an anti-arab slur, not an anti-muslim one per se. After all, there are plenty of African, Southeast Asian, and European Muslims, and there are typically more, err, "apt" slurs, if you will, for those groups. Not to mention a non-trivial number of non-Muslim Arabs who generally get included, if any discussion of Palestine in the wrong corners of the internet is any indication.

But then, my big mistake here is trying to read an unwarranted level of nuance into racist fuckers. These are the sorts of people who shoot up Sikh temples because Muslims.

tessiee December 17, 2012 at 10:37 pm

"C'est possible, but my understanding has always been that it was an anti-arab slur, not an anti-muslim one per se."

You are correct. Forgive the language, but "sand n*ggers" are Ay-rabs, and "green n*ggers" are the kind of Irish guys like in the House of Pain videos. In addition to all the vast multitude of other things that are wrong with him, Jared's command of the terminology is also wrong.

Tangled sin tax December 18, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Back in more genteel days it was "Wily Oriental Gentleman"

JustPixelz December 17, 2012 at 7:18 pm

Mr. Rogers taught us when something bad happens we should watch for the helpers. There are always helpers.

Dr. Zoom teaches when something bad happens we should watch for the assholes. There are always assholes.

MissTaken December 17, 2012 at 7:19 pm

Brandon Ortiz's shirtless bathroom mirror self-pic lets us known he's very smart and we should pay attention to his well-executed tweets.

SorosBot December 17, 2012 at 7:31 pm

He should have used a dick pic instead.

Biel_ze_Bubba December 18, 2012 at 1:37 am

That was a dick pic, if ever I saw one.

Negropolis December 18, 2012 at 12:16 am

Every dude that has a shirtless pic of himself as his avatar anywhere on the net should be sent to a FEMA camp, immediately. I'm so damned tired of this narcissism and attention-whoring.

Biff December 18, 2012 at 12:35 am

I was none too happy with Roger Daltry at the 121212 concert, either.

Rebootably_Joe December 18, 2012 at 8:21 am

"When 900 years you reach, look so good, you will not, hmm."
-Roger Daltry

Biff December 17, 2012 at 7:19 pm

If there was ever a "for fuck's sake" moment…

ingloriousbytch December 17, 2012 at 7:21 pm

But it's his POLICIES that they hate.

Rasist fuckers.

hollywooddood December 17, 2012 at 7:23 pm

I keep hearing that the idiot racists are dying off. I guess not.

Now I'm heartsick all over again.

Rebootably_Joe December 17, 2012 at 7:25 pm

Geez, I guess nobody told these guys to begin their tweets with, "I'm not a racist, but:"

Biff December 17, 2012 at 7:45 pm

I am not aware of twitter traditions, but wouldn't that count against their 140-character limit? Likewise, wtf is with those #hashtags? Do characters after the # not count?

Rebootably_Joe December 17, 2012 at 7:51 pm

I do see your point, on the other hand, these guys already wasted a letter writing "N****r" instead of using the president's name, so I'm sure they could have spared a few extra characters without going Full Grassley.

shelwood46 December 17, 2012 at 8:28 pm

Perhaps INARB should become a thing?

Biff December 17, 2012 at 9:35 pm

#INARB it is, then!

drbill0620 December 17, 2012 at 7:25 pm

Corn-holed nitwits…

johnnyzhivago December 17, 2012 at 7:25 pm

Hey guess who owns BUSHMASTER???? Well – Dan Qualye for starters!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cerberus_Capital_Man

Hopefully these scumbags will get their faces dragged in the mud over this.

docterry6973 December 17, 2012 at 7:46 pm

Owns one hell, he's on the board of the whole damn company! I always believed that the little tyke would make good somehow.

CthuNHu December 17, 2012 at 8:07 pm

Charmingly evocative choice of a corporate name. Also, good call on using the specific name "Cerberus" instead of going generic and calling it "Monster Dog From Hell Capital Management."

chascates December 17, 2012 at 9:29 pm

As a rural hick I'm pretty up on gun culture and a big thing now is ZOMBIES! Several companies make various zombie targets, ammo marketed as 'zombie' loads, and the like.
Zombie America would be an awesome name for a lot of things and not just rock bands.

bobbert December 17, 2012 at 9:47 pm

There is a "Zombie Apocalypse Store" in Vegas.

tessiee December 17, 2012 at 10:44 pm

"Monster Dog From Hell Capital Management."

There was a cheesy 70s horror movie called "Monster Dog". One critic pointed out that the title also served as a review.

Pithaughn December 17, 2012 at 7:29 pm

Ok true confession, I once or twice ( at least ) lamented that Chimp had pre empted something I wanted to watch. Does that make me a shallow person?

Rebootably_Joe December 17, 2012 at 7:46 pm

I think he pre-empted something I was watching to go to war with Iraq based on faked intel, so I was sorta doubly pissed that one time.

SorosBot December 17, 2012 at 7:50 pm

I was once pissed off when Buffy was preempted for news coverage thanks to Bush; but pissed at the news itself, that he actually had gone through with invading Iraq just for the hell of it, not so much for the preemption.

Rebootably_Joe December 17, 2012 at 7:53 pm

That was it, you have a much better memory than I, Mr. Bot.

BaldarTFlagass December 18, 2012 at 8:17 am

I don't even know if Twitter was around back then, but if it had been, I doubt if there would have been such an assload of "That fucking honky pre-empted my show!" tweets.

Jerri December 17, 2012 at 10:54 pm

I was always pissed when that smirking frat boy came on tv for any reason, especially if words were coming out of his main face hole.

Negropolis December 18, 2012 at 12:18 am

If only the issue here was being mad that a president pre-empted a sporting event…

stopthemovie December 17, 2012 at 7:29 pm

I'am starting to hope the Mayans are right!

Rebootably_Joe December 17, 2012 at 7:31 pm

Also, KR3W69-CEO's biggest sin is being a Patriots fan. Follow closely by that twitter handle. The rest of the assheadedness falls at a distant third.

glesslib December 17, 2012 at 7:31 pm

It's always nice to see a bunch of guys with really little ones (and I don't mean children) throwing the N word around. Compensate much, macho guys?

As my dad used to say, "Stop showing off for your friends. You look like a fool".

Chow Yun Flat December 17, 2012 at 7:37 pm

"Hey, what the hell–there is a black man on TeeVee during an NFL game."

TribecaMike December 17, 2012 at 9:39 pm

"Look at that little monkey run!" — Howard Cosell

Biff December 17, 2012 at 7:40 pm

Somehow, I managed to watch both Obama and Bob's Burgers.

pjcaper December 17, 2012 at 7:43 pm

Pamela Geller, forever wrong:

"One by one, President Barack Obama spoke the names and told the stories Tuesday of the 13 people slain in the Fort Hood shooting rampage, honoring their memories…"

Biff December 17, 2012 at 7:46 pm

Tuesday already?

weejee December 17, 2012 at 7:55 pm

May Ms. Geller's hoo haa become infested with….nah.

May all of Ms. Geller's kiddies find true happiness gay-married to previous Sharia observers.

Rebootably_Joe December 17, 2012 at 8:50 pm

I'm pretty sure Ms. Geller's main problem with Sharia law is the whole thing about their views on the drinky-passouty.

RadioBitchFace December 17, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Votes? Of the hanging herpetic chad nature.

Biel_ze_Bubba December 18, 2012 at 1:43 am

Parasitic arthropods, and HSV virions, deserve better.

Doktor Zoom December 17, 2012 at 8:56 pm

It was not nationally televised during prime time, so he is still a hypocrite.

Wile E. Quixote December 17, 2012 at 10:48 pm

And if it had been a bunch of racist fuckheads would have been bitching on Twitter about how they couldn't watch Two and a Half Men because Obama had pre-empted it.

Swampgas_Man December 17, 2012 at 7:45 pm

While everybody here's complaining about the Fooball fans, I'd just like to take a minute to apologize for the Bob's Burger crowd. Saw those stupid shits complaining on AVClub this morning, and I rolled my eyes so hard I hurt myself.

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 17, 2012 at 7:46 pm

But FOX News assures me that there is no racism in the Tea Party or Republican Party.

weejee December 17, 2012 at 7:59 pm

Likewise, today's Klan has given-up on the hate.

OFFS^∞

Callyson December 17, 2012 at 8:39 pm

“All we wanna do is adopt a highway,” said April Chambers, secretary of the North Georgia chapter of the Ku Klux Klan. “We're not doing it for publicity. We're doing it to keep the mountains beautiful. People throwing trash out on the side of the road … that ain't right."

1. FFS.

2. You know what else isn't right? Treating people like trash because of their skin color.

3. FFS again…

Biel_ze_Bubba December 18, 2012 at 1:46 am

I'm imagining a stretch of highway were a lot of people are going to go out of their way to throw trash out the car window. Especially if there's a Kleanup Krew on hand.

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 17, 2012 at 8:40 pm

You can' t go wrong with the new Klan

weejee December 17, 2012 at 8:52 pm

Seattle is then to become the new Slacker capital?

Tangled sin tax December 18, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Meet the new capital…same as the old capital.

Mandorlin December 17, 2012 at 7:54 pm

Geez, Jared, at least get your racial slurs right! "Sand" is the prefix for Arabs (like "prairie" = Native American).

You're giving all the other racists a bad name.

Blueb4sinrise December 17, 2012 at 7:57 pm

ABL and John Cole re: McCardle
YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.balloon-juice.com/

SayItWithWookies December 17, 2012 at 8:17 pm

I’d also like us to encourage people to gang rush shooters, rather than following their instincts to hide; if we drilled it into young people that the correct thing to do is for everyone to instantly run at the guy with the gun, these sorts of mass shootings would be less deadly, because even a guy with a very powerful weapon can be brought down by 8-12 unarmed bodies piling on him at once.

Great idea, Ms. McCardle — you go first.

BerkeleyBear December 17, 2012 at 8:30 pm

Never mind that the principle did apparently rush the shooter . . . and got shot.

Callyson December 17, 2012 at 8:41 pm

"Ah, but that just shows that she should have been armed."

No, really, that's what the wingnuts are saying.

(Heading out the door to get more liquor…)

AlterNewt December 17, 2012 at 10:28 pm

Easy, now. Here's some music.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UTQprlBAmKQ

SayItWithWookies December 17, 2012 at 7:59 pm

Well — I'd say something mean, but I was just reminded that today is Beethoven's birthday so in the spirit of his love for humanity I'm gonna give these violent racist acephalic 18th century thowback cracker motherfuckin' freaks a pass — d'oh.

MosesInvests December 17, 2012 at 10:03 pm

Schroeder libel!

chascates December 17, 2012 at 8:10 pm

The whole idea of a national conversation on gun violence is going to be pretty one-sided: http://floppingaces.net/2012/12/17/liberals-comin

Negropolis December 18, 2012 at 6:06 am

Fine with me, so long as the shoe is finally on the other foot and we get to roll these fuckers for once. So, we're coming after your guns, eh? And? They can't just keep screaming that as a defense and expect as many people to rally around them as before. Shit is different now, because some of us are going to make sure it's different.

So, you guys believe that we're coming to pry your guns out of your cold, dead hands? Hell, might as well since you seem to think a legitimate defense is to roll back into your inane talking points…and we'll do it with actual votes. If they want to boycott the discussion, we'll pass something with out them, and it'll be something far less favorable to them than if they'd have come to the table.

Welcome to the New America and the New Liberal; we actually fight back, now. The day of reckoning is now upon us.

imissopus December 17, 2012 at 8:16 pm

Totally OT, but if no one has posted this on the Wonkette today I would like to call your attention to the next-to-last paragraph of Megan McArdle's "think" piece about solutions to this country's mass-shooting problem. It may be one of the dumbest ideas ever expressed by anyone with an IQ above, presumably, her shoe size:
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/12/17/

Sharkey December 17, 2012 at 8:32 pm

I just skimmed it 'cause it's clearly full of bullhockey at every turn.

What Lanza shows us is the limits of the obvious policy responses. He had all the mental health resources he needed–and he did it anyway. The law stopped him from buying a gun–and he did it anyway. The school had an intercom system aimed at stopping unauthorized entry–and he did it anyway. Any practical, easy-to-implement solution to school shootings that you could propose, along with several that were not at all easy to implement, was already in place. Somehow, Lanza blew through them all.

That's right – there was nothing anyone, or any organization at any level of society, could have done to stop this.

facepalm.

Sharkey December 17, 2012 at 8:43 pm

I'd also like us to encourage people to gang rush shooters, rather than following their instincts to hide; if we drilled it into young people that the correct thing to do is for everyone to instantly run at the guy with the gun, these sorts of mass shootings would be less deadly, because even a guy with a very powerful weapon can be brought down by 8-12 unarmed bodies piling on him at once. Would it work?
No.
Would people do it?
No.
I have no idea;
Yes.
… all I can say is that both these things would be more effective than banning rifles with pistol grips.

Zombie apocalypse much? Featuring schoolkids as the "survivors"?

chascates December 17, 2012 at 8:45 pm

I don't even think ancient Sparta could raise 6- & 7-year-olds who could run straight into a blazing weapon in a suicide mission.

Sharkey December 17, 2012 at 8:55 pm

We need to give it a try, sez Megan. It's a LOT less scary than say, "changing policy" to give the Oblamablama what he wants.

emmelemm December 17, 2012 at 10:08 pm

Obama-llama? Ding-dong?

Jennyjen798 December 17, 2012 at 9:08 pm

I see what she's doing! She's starting the meat sheild training early. That way as young adults the idea of running off to invade a country of browns sounds a whole lot less scary…Brilliant! -_-

SayItWithWookies December 17, 2012 at 10:12 pm

I think the Ayatollah Khomeini championed that tactic during his ten-year war with Iraq. That's why Iran now has the youngest population in the Middle East — because he threw an entire generation of young men across minefields and open land against artillery and entrenched infantry, WWI-style.

imissopus December 17, 2012 at 9:12 pm

That was the passage that had smacked my gob. Megs seems to have missed the part in Newtown where two staffers were shot while rushing at Lanza, and she seems to be suggesting that if only six or eight more had joined them, surely the kid could not have shot them all. Or maybe if all the first-graders had known to rush him when he burst into their classroom and started shooting…Just remarkable that this woman gets paid to write for major publications. She is by far one of the dumber pundits around, and that's saying something.

chascates December 17, 2012 at 9:57 pm

Brit Hume's reaction Sunday was HUME: The hard thing to do in commenting and reacting to this is, so much of the information we have gotten so far turned out to be off base, that one hesitates to draw any conclusions, based on what we think we know, because there is so much we thought we knew and turned out to be not true and, we are remarkably early in the process, finding out what really happened and will be a while before we can make intelligent observations. -HuffPo Jason Linkins

If we can't make something of Benghazi at least we could use a national tragedy to make people despise and fear the MSM & government sources more.

SayItWithWookies December 17, 2012 at 10:14 pm

It's gonna take more than knowledge and facts to get Brit Hume to start making intelligent observations.

BerkeleyBear December 18, 2012 at 6:38 am

Can't we just take that reaction and play it over and over every time a Fox commentator tries to say something about Benghazi? Shit, this was an arguably much more easy to assess situation for the media and law enforcement than events at night in a foreign country, and almost every single initial detail was wrong. Could Fox maybe now acknowledge that caution on Sunday talk shows by a UN ambassador isn't the worst thing in the world?

Callyson December 17, 2012 at 8:44 pm

In this case, there probably is a policy which could stop mass shootings. But we are not going to implement that policy. And since nothing else is going to work, we are not going to pass a law that will stop these sorts of mass shootings. We may pass a law, mind you. But whatever we do pass, we will have more of these evil happenings ahead of us.

Is that crap *supposed* to make sense?

/sorry if people are getting tired of me saying this, but for fuck's sake…

emmelemm December 17, 2012 at 10:10 pm

We'll never get tired of hearing it as long as it keeps being necessary.

Doktor Zoom December 17, 2012 at 8:57 pm

You'll be delighted to know that Jesse Taylor is already working on that one for tomorrow.

Blueb4sinrise December 17, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Children's Crusade!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sharkey December 17, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Pls let Jesse know of the potential relevance of this: http://www.vice.com/read/the-acceptable-cost-of-t

Especially the latter part where no policy can completely prevent violent insanity, just bring it down to less-than-outrageous levels.

imissopus December 18, 2012 at 12:19 am

Perhaps Jesse will like knowing that this is apparently not even an original McArdle idea:
http://cumberlink.com/news/opinion/columnists/fra

MissNancyPriss December 17, 2012 at 9:22 pm

holy smokes. thanks for sharing, i guess.

Blueb4sinrise December 17, 2012 at 9:58 pm

Also, to be fair……..no really……..[all this thinking is ruining me] The context of McCardle's article is what makes it sound extra koo koo .

Some of the true USian heroes of 9/11 were the ones who rushed the hijackers on Flight 93. Different in many respects I know; like they had some time to think about what to do; AND THEY WEREN'T SIX YEAR-OLDS!!!!!!11

It may not be a common, or advisable strategy, or even something that lends itself to training……….

edit: nah, never mind.

Mandorlin December 17, 2012 at 10:23 pm

And the hijackers weren't armed with semi-automatic weapons…
And the plane provided a closed environment where the hijackers didn't have a workable escape route…
And the passengers were already convinced they going to die, so they had nothing to lose…

And, yeah, they weren't children.

SayItWithWookies December 17, 2012 at 10:35 pm

Said adults were also told by the loved ones they called that three other airplanes had crashed into buildings, so they could reasonably expect their chances of survival to be zero if they did nothing. While their attack was a forlorn hope, they knew they were dead if they did nothing, and at the very least they could save some lives if they took action successfully.

McCardle's brilliant plan brings to mind the image of Japanese boys and girls drilling with pointed bamboo sticks at the end of WWII to fight off the allies once they hit the mainland. If she thinks gun control is an exteme response to the problem of weekly mass murder, she should read her essay again.

not that Dewey December 17, 2012 at 10:31 pm

Will Tina Brown ever run out of ways to pay people to be stupid?

greenloner December 18, 2012 at 8:20 am

Tina Brown is, well, words fail me. No, wait . . . she's so shallow she's two-dimensional.

Wile E. Quixote December 17, 2012 at 10:53 pm

So, does anyone want to take bets on how long it's going to be before McMegan McArdle is McFired from the Daily Beast.

Wile E. Quixote December 18, 2012 at 12:11 am

How many miles of cock do you think McMegan McArdle has sucked to get where she is? Now let's see, assuming that the average male penis is six inches long when erect (this may or may not be the case but it makes the math easier) then that would be two dicks per foot, or 10,560 dicks per statute mile (12,152 dicks per nautical mile). I'm guessing somewhere between five and seven miles of dick myself.

greenloner December 18, 2012 at 8:22 am

She has no need for that. Her daddy can get her any job she wants. (Another site linked to an expose of her on SHAME.)

Tundra Grifter December 17, 2012 at 8:23 pm

Speaking of the tragedy at Ft. Hood. Last week Ann Falter couldn't wait to quote a bunch of made-up stuff about guns making us all so much safer. And how these mass killers never operate in places with firearms – always in "gun free" zones.

What could be more heavily armed than the middle of a US Military base?

Doktor Zoom December 17, 2012 at 9:00 pm

Yeah, but the radical pacifist Marxists who run the U.S. Army don't allow open carry in the cafeterias.

FrankFuror December 17, 2012 at 10:24 pm

Actually there are strict rules about carrying a firearm on a military base. You don't keep a privately owned firearm in your home or on your person. This isn't that out of character, because amusingly, military bases are some of the most socialist places in america. Not Kidding. Where else do you have no private land ownership and free healthcare? It kinda blows my mind sometime.

Wile E. Quixote December 17, 2012 at 10:38 pm

The Lakewood police killings, courtesy of Mike Huckabee's granting clemency to Maurice Clemmons show that the whole "if they'd only had guns" thing is so much bullshit.

Sassomatic December 17, 2012 at 8:34 pm

The world is full of asswaffles.

BerkeleyBear December 17, 2012 at 8:36 pm

Weird Al had a song for these guys:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHRGqJDA1zk

Biff December 17, 2012 at 11:00 pm

Perfect!

Sharkey December 17, 2012 at 8:38 pm

BTW, Obama also delayed the season finale of Survivor, to which I had been looking forward. They aired the full thing post-Obama, so no harm no foul.

Point is, I'm not on twitter and never will be.

ElPinche December 17, 2012 at 8:45 pm

This Jarred fella has alot of accounts laying around online <a href="http://(http://www.pingram.me/jard212)” target=”_blank”>(http://www.pingram.me/jard212). Tsk tsk tsk. Not a good idea.
Hey look! I don't think the beautiful bride and groom at this wedding would like this publicity: http://www.missfourteenphotography.com/page/4

chascates December 17, 2012 at 8:48 pm

Bushmaster Rifle Ad Reminds Us To Ask More About Masculinity And Gun Violence (PHOTO) http://www.huffingtonpost.com/emma-gray/bushmaste

orygoon December 17, 2012 at 8:52 pm

And then that gay, gay San Francisco team won, suckers.

emmelemm December 17, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Against the "Patriots", of all the ironies.

Blendergoathead December 17, 2012 at 8:52 pm

Wow. Just imagine what would've happened if a bunch of kids got shot up a day before a NASCAR event. Fuckwits.

FrankFuror December 17, 2012 at 8:54 pm

Reading these, I am ashamed to be a football fan.

Fortunately, as a fan of the Miami Dolphins, I am used to the feeling.

Dashboard Buddha December 17, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Go 'fins! One of my cube mates is a Dolphin's fan…has the cube decorated with stuff. We had a nice lunch reminiscing about when they didn't play at the highschool level.

johnnyzhivago December 17, 2012 at 8:57 pm

The Right to Be An Idiot in Public – that's the 11th Amendment, isn't it?

Sharkey December 17, 2012 at 9:00 pm

It feels like Friday was just a few hours ago. Instead it was three days ago.

There is no Christian Deity, dammit!

Steverino247 December 17, 2012 at 9:08 pm

OT, but if you need to read about a human being worthy of respect…

SECOND LIEUTENANT DANIEL K. INOUYE, UNITED STATES ARMY, for conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of his life above and beyond the call of duty:

Second Lieutenant Daniel K. Inouye distinguished himself by extraordinary heroism in action on 21 April 1945, in the vicinity of San Terenzo, Italy. While attacking a defended ridge guarding an important road junction, Second Lieutenant Inouye skillfully directed his platoon through a hail of automatic weapon and small arms fire, in a swift enveloping movement that resulted in the capture of an artillery and mortar post and brought his men to within 40 yards of the hostile force. Emplaced in bunkers and rock formations, the enemy halted the advance with crossfire from three machine guns. With complete disregard for his personal safety, Second Lieutenant Inouye crawled up the treacherous slope to within five yards of the nearest machine gun and hurled two grenades, destroying the emplacement. Before the enemy could retaliate, he stood up and neutralized a second machine gun nest. Although wounded by a sniper’s bullet, he continued to engage other hostile positions at close range until an exploding grenade shattered his right arm. Despite the intense pain, he refused evacuation and continued to direct his platoon until enemy resistance was broken and his men were again deployed in defensive positions. In the attack, 25 enemy soldiers were killed and eight others captured. By his gallant, aggressive tactics and by his indomitable leadership, Second Lieutenant Inouye enabled his platoon to advance through formidable resistance, and was instrumental in the capture of the ridge. Second Lieutenant Inouye’s extraordinary heroism and devotion to duty are in keeping with the highest traditions of military service and reflect great credit on him, his unit, and the United States Army.

chascates December 17, 2012 at 9:20 pm

I've seen some documentaries on the unit (442 Regimental Combat Team?) and they overcame racism, IMPRISONMENT, shitty generalship (in Italy), and overcame incredible odds.

SexySmurf December 17, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Great, now the nigger is on YouTube! I wanna watch a grainy, dark video of drunk douche bags doing the Gangnam Style dance while 2 Chainz plays muffled and inaudible in the background.

mosjef December 17, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Not exactly the Algonquin round table, is it?

tessiee December 17, 2012 at 11:16 pm

It's not even the urinal at Hooters.

fuflans December 18, 2012 at 12:58 am

nice

miss_grundy December 17, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Land of the free and home of the asshats.

TribecaMike December 17, 2012 at 9:42 pm

Long may it do the wave.

TribecaMike December 17, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Jerry Lee Snyder won't talk about LIBERACE!

Sharkey December 17, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Shame on Obama for silencing black athletes!

Rufus T. Firefly December 17, 2012 at 9:49 pm

How unusual–seeing a black man during a football game.

TribecaMike December 17, 2012 at 9:52 pm

Peckerwoods get awfully lonely when winter comes and the last fly dies.

LibertyLover December 17, 2012 at 9:52 pm

The most dangerous drug in the world: testosterone.

It impairs men's judgement something awful.

Sharkey December 17, 2012 at 9:56 pm

Can anyone recommend a violent video game that might help distract me from the atrocities being committed on Twitter?

iburl December 17, 2012 at 11:34 pm

Left Behind: Eternal Forces ?
http://www.alternet.org/story/38873/kids_kill_in_

cybermoe December 17, 2012 at 9:58 pm
TribecaMike December 17, 2012 at 10:04 pm

That's up there with Merle Haggard's "You're Walkin' On The Fightin' Side of Me" in the Great department.

As much as I despise these morons, I hope they never have to feel the pain Warren went through. Well, at least for more than a few hours.

weejee December 17, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Over the weekend we were with some Canadian friends and had a brief discussion about racism still present down here south of the border. My friend thought that with Obama in the White House we had moved past that. Ha!

Thanks for the twats Dr. Z, I'll be sending him an email with a Wonkette post clickie.

chascates December 17, 2012 at 10:19 pm

Do Canadians kind of pity us? If I lived there I think I would. I'm very willing to emigrate there just to try to investigate that issue.

viennawoods13 December 17, 2012 at 10:39 pm

We can't wrap our heads around the gun culture. It escapes us. In the lunch room today one man said a nail gun would be his weapon of choice if someone broke into his home.
On the other hand, I experienced a school shooting here in Ontario in 1975. And today I showed my students a video about the Montreal Polytechnique Massacre of 1989. We are not immune.

Biff December 18, 2012 at 12:45 am

I was given my first rifle in Victoria BC in 1963. My mother wouldn't let me keep it though, so I could only use it when I visited my uncle. Eventually, it kinda disappeared…

ibwilliamsi December 17, 2012 at 10:12 pm

"…an uninvited an walk-on long snapper, joined the team in the fourth week of the season" lost his spot on the team because of his racist tweets. Sorry, but this wasn't much of a spot on the team to start with. No brainer kicking him off.

TribecaMike December 17, 2012 at 10:17 pm

Ha hah, Tebow's choking again, losers.

tessiee December 17, 2012 at 11:19 pm

His chicken?

TribecaMike December 17, 2012 at 11:27 pm

"There is a path which no fowl knoweth…" — Book of Job

Blendergoathead December 17, 2012 at 10:17 pm

They probably kicked that idiot off the football team out of concern for his own safety.

RadioBitchFace December 17, 2012 at 10:19 pm

I'm still not over when them ragheads caused the cancellation of the NFL the weekend after 9/11 —
Pusha B

TribecaMike December 17, 2012 at 10:38 pm

What, Romney didn't step in and save that?

Pat_Pending December 17, 2012 at 10:47 pm

Ever since last week, I can't look at that dog asshole avatar of yours without seeing a floating image of Jesus in white robes. Is this intentional, or is my Monday tequila hangover worse than usual?

RadioBitchFace December 17, 2012 at 11:01 pm

It's an anal wink blot.
BTW, your's is kind of Georgia O'Queefish.
God, I miss Extemporanus.

Pat_Pending December 17, 2012 at 11:28 pm

Georgia O'Queefish? It's Daffy Fucking Duck!!!I too miss Extemporanus…

RadioBitchFace December 18, 2012 at 12:16 am

When I squint, it's often misinterpreted as using-a-scowl, or as these kids say nowadays, Bitch Face.

not that Dewey December 17, 2012 at 11:54 pm

Look upon this, and remember him.

RadioBitchFace December 18, 2012 at 12:23 am

Thanks for that trip down memory lane. I was in an Obamacare FEMA death camp at the time — no, no, Not that Death Camp.

Redgyal December 17, 2012 at 10:36 pm

Tweeters need to sit down and shut up.

An_Outhouse December 17, 2012 at 10:36 pm

wonkette is the real racist for pointing out the racism. i'm embarassed to be associated with wonkette.

Fox n Fiends December 17, 2012 at 10:40 pm

If it wasn't for the internet we'd never get to be so proud of America

Pat_Pending December 17, 2012 at 10:46 pm

As always, there's a very competitive race to the bottom in this great nation of ours. USA! USA!!!1!1!

TribecaMike December 17, 2012 at 10:48 pm

You wanna see sick? Check out the Oath Keeper's not surprisingly imbecilic take on this tragedy. And, naturally, the equally moronic commenters are lapping it up like rats in a Dairy Queen dumpster.
http://oathkeepers.org/oath/2012/12/14/the-federa

Pat_Pending December 17, 2012 at 10:51 pm

Oaf Keepers, more like…

TribecaMike December 17, 2012 at 11:12 pm

The lack of Oaf Keepers kept Peter Jackson's The Hobbit from being a masterpiece. But maybe he was saving them for the extended director's Walmart cut.

gullywompr December 17, 2012 at 10:49 pm

OT: John Bolton is on Fox saying Hillary Clinton's concussion is a "what we call a 'diplomatic illness'. And this is a 'diplomatic illness' to beat the band". And if she wants to be president some day, she'd better come clean. Damn dems keep stalling this Benghazi thing…

TribecaMike December 17, 2012 at 10:58 pm

The average Fox viewer saw that and muttered "That's exactly why I'm against joining the League of Nations."

tessiee December 17, 2012 at 11:30 pm

John Bolton has lost every threatening quality he ever had and become a source of endless amusement to me, ever since I read a cranky old guy's blog that referred to Bolton as, "Mustache on His Ass".

Negropolis December 18, 2012 at 12:23 am

How long before they accuse Obama of actually and physically giving Hillary the concussion?

chascates December 17, 2012 at 10:59 pm

I didn't realize post-racial America meant being blatantly racist was now old school chic.

Biel_ze_Bubba December 18, 2012 at 1:35 am

It's the new bla… umm, on second thought, never mind.

RadioBitchFace December 17, 2012 at 11:05 pm

I missing the Tebow on MNF because of Doktor Zoom.

not that Dewey December 17, 2012 at 11:51 pm

GET THAT IDAHOAN OFF MY INTERNETS

Negropolis December 17, 2012 at 11:24 pm

What I find particularly maddening about this is that clearly became a "thing" and even had people who aren't racist playing along with the meme. IT'S NOT FUNNY.

TribecaMike December 17, 2012 at 11:39 pm

Well and truly said.

Negropolis December 18, 2012 at 12:24 am

Seriously, the idiot black kid in there thinking he's being funny just burns me up. He's aiding and abetting this bullshit. It's why I hate the internet at times. People believe that there aren't consequences to things said, anymore.

TribecaMike December 18, 2012 at 12:27 am

If he really is Black, or is just using a found image. Either way, he's a moron.

ttommyunger December 17, 2012 at 11:33 pm

Think of it this way, if these sick fucks couldn't vent on twitter, they would no doubt be torturing animals or bullying their children and family members. It's nice for them to have a harmless way to vent their filth and also serves as a continuous warning to me that there are plenty of ignorant, potentially dangerous degenerates out there walking among us. I need to be reminded of that just to keep my reflexes up.

Mojopo December 18, 2012 at 12:48 am

What do you suppose they're like in real life? Exact replicas of their grimy words, or a do-nothing lot of pussies? Imma vote pussy gas bags full of varts who will never amount to jack or shit.

ttommyunger December 18, 2012 at 5:46 am

Shitty, dead-end jobs; ugly, unfaithful wives, unruly children and an early date with Diabetes/Heart Disease. That would be my best guess.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

jello_mold December 17, 2012 at 11:42 pm

Sure makes you look at football fans in a totally new way. They can spell "Obama."

steamynachos December 18, 2012 at 12:00 am

I can understand bigoted Twitter comments, but *non-anonymous* bigoted Twitter comments? Are they insane?

Biel_ze_Bubba December 18, 2012 at 1:30 am

Yes.

valthemus December 18, 2012 at 12:06 am

Trying not to think about all the people who were thinking the same thing but were too ignorant to operate a computing box with all the internets in it.

TribecaMike December 18, 2012 at 12:14 am

I used to describe these kinds of people as "childish," until I started hanging out more often with children. Forgive me, kids, grown ups should know better.

Negropolis December 18, 2012 at 12:26 am

To see the looks on their faces and the faces of their bastard, mouth-breathing progeny when this "nigger's" head is carved into Mount Rushmore and/or he's given a monument on the Mall…

It'll be a beautiful day. Well, that's just before we immediately and subsequently blow the thing up and give it back to the Native Americans, but that's a whole other story.

Mojopo December 18, 2012 at 12:50 am

Here at home we entertain ourselves thinking of the BHO airports and expressways. We want them to carve through great swaths of a red state, from east to west.

TribecaMike December 18, 2012 at 12:55 am

Excellent job of deflecting attention from the NAFTA Super Highway. I doff my collapsible Masonic stove pipe hat to you, and raise my apron to the four winds.

Negropolis December 18, 2012 at 1:20 am

Quick, what's the freeway that runs east-west through the Deep South?

Biel_ze_Bubba December 18, 2012 at 1:31 am

The Trail of Tears. They just never got around to paving it.

BaldarTFlagass December 18, 2012 at 8:42 am

They've already renamed the Delmar Loop (home of many cool bars) in St Louis. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delmar_Loop#Streets

BerkeleyBear December 18, 2012 at 6:45 am

As long as they don't go the MLK route and only name stuff after him in "urban" neighborhoods.

And having seen Mt. Rushmore, and more importantly the economy in the middle of nowhere it supports, I wouldn't blow it up – just give it back and let the natives manage it. Can't make up for the initial sacrilege, but it is a way to hoover money out of white people wallets.

Negropolis December 18, 2012 at 8:57 am

You'd have to ask them. But, I'd venture a guess that running a tourist attraction dedicated mostly to the men that headed up the government which eventually tried to exterminate them is a bit like a German Jews managing a shrine to prominent figures in Nazi Germany. You know, a bridge too far and every society must have a line. Jus' sayin'. That's not even to mention the guy that sculpted this thing was an honsest-to-goodness member of the KKK to add insult to injury.

If they ever get the Crazy Horse thing up running – which, BTW, is more badass than anything at or on Rushmore – it'll more than make up for it. If America needs monuments and memorials to the presidents depicted, there is Washington and a plethora of presidential libraries to honor them, anyway.

I guess what I'm saying is that I wouldn't miss Mount Rushmore.

Steverino247 December 18, 2012 at 12:53 pm

But where would we film the re-make of North by Northwest?

leaknoil December 18, 2012 at 12:53 am

Funny they were smart enough to figure out how twitter worked but, not enough to figure out how the internet did. NBC was streaming the game live for free on their website. Uninterrupted.

It worked great for me. I could mute the game and switch to the speech when Patriots were moving the ball and I didn't like what I was seeing. I could also mute the President and switch to the game when he was getting all religious and I didn't like what I was hearing.

fuflans December 18, 2012 at 1:00 am

meh. twitter.

fuck that shit.

criticaldragon December 18, 2012 at 1:13 am

Doktor Zoom,

Wow these people are messed up!

Negropolis December 18, 2012 at 1:21 am

Really?!

criticaldragon December 18, 2012 at 1:28 am

I'm talking about the people who made the incredibly offensive tweets, not the people commenting here, in case you're confused, but yeah, the people leaving the tweets are really messed up. Just look what they're saying.

Biel_ze_Bubba December 18, 2012 at 1:27 am

Kicked off an Alabammy football team for being a racist goober? What is this world coming to? Then again, it is Northern Alabammy; maybe they're under the pernicious influence of the liberals in southern Tennessee.

Mojopo December 18, 2012 at 1:32 am

On election night this year, when Pres. Obama was reelected, "relief" is such a puny word but I was that and crying. It mattered even more to me this time, because it meant that the last four years were not a fluke. It was for real.

I do pray for his safety, because of things like those Twitter posts. I worry about the way they make evil people think they're right.

Biel_ze_Bubba December 18, 2012 at 1:36 am

Laydeez and Gennelmen, may I present your Exceptional Americans™.

GeorgiaBurning December 18, 2012 at 2:27 am

the sort of people who wouldn't be excepted anyplace else

arihaya December 18, 2012 at 1:45 am

So I guess they are heading to FEMA death camp anytime now right?

TribecaMike December 18, 2012 at 1:51 am

At the pace the federal gummint moves, they'll probably croak from the sugarbetes before being interred. But it all works out in the end. (Actually, historically speaking most times it doesn't, but just wanted to log out on a positive note.)

proudgrampa December 18, 2012 at 3:42 am

Well, this story just reinforces my belief that there are a lot of sick puppies out there.

jamsie25 December 18, 2012 at 4:08 am

I've always known that many football fans are subhuman jerk offs (I'm referring to my older brothers and brothers-in-law who insisted on having a football game on during my poor mother's wake and cheered, stomped their feet, hollered etc like they were in a god damned parking lot at Penn State. That's true, I'm not kidding – I wish I were. I had to pick up the TV and throw it out the back door, which I was later charged for), but after reading those tweets I feel so sick, so disheartened, so disgusted I have no words.

BaldarTFlagass December 18, 2012 at 8:47 am

"which I was later charged for"
Just curious, but do you mean criminal charges or that you had to pay for the TV?

Negropolis December 18, 2012 at 6:15 am

OT: The Detroit News is reporting today that Governor Snyder has recounted a story about how he was a personal witness to a deadly University of Michigan shooting and firebombing in a dorm as a resident advisor in 1981. It really seems like he's laying the groundwork to veto the insane gun expansion bill that sits on his desk which would include destroying most of the last gun-free zones we still have (i.e. daycares, schools, etc…). This could be one our first victories on this issue since that horrible shooting. So, here's to hoping we can first stop the expansion, and then bringing us back to more san policies.

dennis1943 December 18, 2012 at 6:21 am

Results are in…..the NFL is a cult……….

not that Dewey December 18, 2012 at 8:28 am

I was challenged yesterday at work by some libertarian idiot who came at me with the full arsenal of empty, abstract bullshit libertarian talking points about gun control. It was almost laughably cliched, if it weren't about guns. (he could have used a knife, what about grenades and bombs, treat mental illness, but not at the federal level, Hollywood and its converse — CENSORSHIP!, stand up against tyrannical gov't, pretty much Rich Abdill's entire list, plus half a dozen more that various of you have encountered and mentioned)

Now, normally at work, I would not bother engaging such bullshit. But thanks to the excellent discussions we've been having here over the last few days, and the urgency of the subject, and the sheer inappropriateness of his abstract talking points, I was able to pull out just about every cogent argument we've developed here over the weekend and evaporate his entire position within minutes. His last stand was "well, I'm a citizen of the state first, and the US second" which was new to me; I had never heard this particular reductio ad absurdum of the libertarian position before. Why are they so enamored of State governments? I thought they hated governments? Seems kind of arbitrary. Anyway, he's lived in at least 3 or 4 different states, all within the US. I remarked that I thought his primary loyalty was rather fickle and that his secondary loyalty seemed much stronger.

So thank you all. I felt well-prepared going into this one. He stammered a bit but ultimately could not counter the collective strength of our arguments.

thatsitfortheother1 December 18, 2012 at 8:52 am

Libertarianism might have been fine in America in the 1800s. Forty acres and a mule and all that.

Except that it was the government that gave them the forty acres.

And the mule.

sullivanst December 18, 2012 at 9:07 am

His last stand was "well, I'm a citizen of the state first, and the US second" which was new to me

I don't think it's entirely new to me, but you don't see it very often because it's such transparent bullshit. Thanks to the 14th Amendment, one's US citizenship is enduring; being a "citizen" of a State means that (a) you're a US citizen, and (b) you live in that State – it's transient. What's more, it's perfectly possible to be a US citizen without being a citizen of any particular State, in that you can be born and raised overseas to a qualifying US citizen parent.

Yet another "get back to what's in the Consichooshun" moron who doesn't know the Constitution. Yeah, yeah, I assumed that about your coworker, but tell me I'm wrong…

thatsitfortheother1 December 18, 2012 at 9:17 am

Maybe things have changed since I left the USA in 1990, but I always thought I was a resident of a state, and a citizen of a country.

But I understand that the rule of law and the written word are no longer held in high esteem in Baggerville.

sullivanst December 18, 2012 at 9:20 am

All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside.

Start of the 14th Amendment.

thatsitfortheother1 December 18, 2012 at 9:27 am

Boy do I feel stupid.

not that Dewey December 18, 2012 at 11:57 am

He may be one of those "academic libertarians" or "libertarians for sport", who thinks it's a cool ideology because it's unpopular and it seems so internally consistent — "the only truly logical political philosophy" I've heard it called. But someone's bullshit ideology has to go away when it is proven to be utterly useless at solving any actual problems, whether he believes it or not.

sullivanst December 18, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Libertarianism seems internally consistent until you come to the realization that there is more than one person in the universe, and as a political philosophy it completely fails to deal with the inevitable conflicts in rights that exist in a plural population.

The other thing that bothers me about most libertarians I've encountered is the way they believe their enshrinement of property rights as being as sacred as the right to life is natural, self-evident and inevitable, when it is none of those things.

Jerri December 18, 2012 at 9:16 am

I've had more or less the same experience with some of my friends. Did you know, for instance, that most of the mass shootings of recent years happened in places that do not allow citizens to carry guns? That is relevant because…??? Also, it's too bad the mother didn't have access to guns or training to use them in self-defense when her son shot her in her home. OH WAIT.

Anyway, I agree. Thanks Wonkette. You all make things bearable.

thatsitfortheother1 December 18, 2012 at 9:25 am

I had somebody today tell me that there are still more people dying violent deaths in the UK and Australia than in the USA.

Which passes neither the sniff nor the Google test.

Negropolis December 18, 2012 at 9:41 am

I can't believe people are this stupid.

There are nearly as many homicides in Chicago (~2.5 million) in a year as there is in the entire UK (~63 million) in any given year. You break down homicides committed with guns, and the comparison is even more stark.

I know, apples to oranges, but you even take the two nations as a whole and the rates aren't even close to comparable.

thatsitfortheother1 December 18, 2012 at 9:44 am

They just don't care. If it sounds like it could maybe be true, that's close enough.

sullivanst December 18, 2012 at 10:28 am

Actually I've seen it repeated multiple times that not just "most" of the mass shootings of "recent years", but every single one in the past 30 years, happened where guns were banned. A perfunctory browse of MoJo's list of the 62 shootings in the last 30 years says no way that's true in that form.

Dudleydidwrong December 18, 2012 at 9:32 am

It's a throwback to two things from our history. One is the old Articles of Confederation, our first government, in which the states were joined in a "firm league of friendship" rather than in a federal union in which the US Constitution trumps the state constitutions and charters.

The other is the southern position in the Civil War. Southern "patriots" considered themselves citizens of the state first and the US second. This is made manifest in the doctrines of interposition–a state interposes itself between its citizens and the tyranny of the federal government, and nullification–the state's right to nullify a federal law if it disagrees with it.

All of this was shot down (literally) in the Civil War and the aftermath. But some of the true wingnuts still cling to the old ways, like poor Miniver Cheevy in the Edward Arlington Robinson poem. Disillusions die hard. (http://www.poemtree.com/poems/MiniverCheevy.htm)

not that Dewey December 18, 2012 at 11:54 am

See, I'm ignorant about certain subtleties of the Constitution, and I FREELY ADMIT IT. And then I learn something. Stupid-ass libertarians.

smokefilledroommate December 18, 2012 at 7:23 pm

You should have told him you have an extra ticket to the Little House on the Prairie Museum and watch him run out the door.

not that Dewey December 18, 2012 at 7:30 pm

Is that the one where real locusts devour your face?

smokefilledroommate December 18, 2012 at 7:41 pm

yes– that one. How did you know?

not that Dewey December 18, 2012 at 7:56 pm

There was a brochure in the hotel lobby.

sullivanst December 18, 2012 at 8:28 am

But they each have a black friend, so none of them is racist.

Monsieur_Grumpe December 18, 2012 at 8:38 am

That first tweeter on theWonkette list just got canned from the team.
http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/12/17/alabama-foo

Tommy1733 December 18, 2012 at 8:39 am

Where indeed are we heading?

freakishlywrong December 18, 2012 at 8:46 am

I have very little (no) faith in my fellow citizens any more. There's too much hate and awful rhetoric. Too much propaganda and "freedom". We're too stupid and to make it.

thatsitfortheother1 December 18, 2012 at 8:55 am

No more shared obligation to the nation. Get what you can and skroo everybody else.

Dudleydidwrong December 18, 2012 at 9:35 am

Just like Ayn (rhymes with "swine") Rand has taught them; it's the new gospel.

thatsitfortheother1 December 18, 2012 at 9:37 am

My parents were part of the Greatest Generation. They've been pretty much replaced by the Greediest Generation.

DahBoner December 18, 2012 at 9:08 am

How do these guys do it?

I mean the sauce from those 3000 Calorie 128 pack Microwaveable Hot Wings Chikken gets all over your fingers.

HOW DO THEY DO IT

thatsitfortheother1 December 18, 2012 at 9:19 am

Chicken goes in. Chickenshit comes out. You can't explain it.

NinjaCat_Baba December 18, 2012 at 9:16 am

I'm surprise these trailer trash can write, let alone how to use a computer. As you know, the typical IQ is less than the total amount of NFL teams in the country.

kullervo December 18, 2012 at 10:01 am

They moved the game to NBCSP. Changing the channel is that big an intellectual challenge? Yeah, I guess it is.

HarryButtle December 18, 2012 at 10:45 am

Lovely people…what do they call the act?

The Aristocrats!

Benny December 18, 2012 at 11:01 am

You gotta love the irony…those racist fucks are complaining that their "nigger" President is cutting their time of…..watching a bunch of mostly "niggers" fighting for a football.

I'm just sayin….fucking stupid people are fucking funny.

*drink*

Steverino247 December 18, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Same tummy as her in the t-shirt.

chascates December 18, 2012 at 2:07 pm

I want to figure out how to be staff/store photographer.

mustangsavvy December 18, 2012 at 3:58 pm

I will bet you dollars to donuts that the same people screaming about a PRAYER VIGIL interrupting their football are the same people who Liked Huckabee's "Where was God in CT?!?!? Nowhere – we KICKED HIM OUT and then Kids Got Shot" video classic on Facebook.

VodkaGoGo December 17, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Obvious troll is obvious and transparently stupid also too.

tessiee December 17, 2012 at 10:50 pm

Who was that man? I'd like to shake his hand.

NYNYNYjr December 17, 2012 at 11:40 pm

Troll is what the white people used to call my grandfather when he first came to this country. I am not a troll. I am a MAN.

Negropolis December 17, 2012 at 11:48 pm

Are you not seeing the snark?

not that Dewey December 18, 2012 at 1:12 am

Hey, yeah! I didn't notice the date. Funny, that.

Your link surprised me, because it was not what it seemed.

BerkeleyBear December 18, 2012 at 6:25 am

Wilson isn't just an athlete, he shares with RGIII and Luck a track record of leadership and work ethic that somehow most teams threw out when they saw he was short. The biggest thing for any sort of unique player is having a coach willing to embrace their talents. I hate Pete Carroll for his days at USC, but one thing he has always done is showcase his best players' attributes. Too many football coaches are conservative and coach not to lose – so if everyone says your QB has to be 6 foot 3, then you draft the 6 foot 3 guy first every time. Hence the Niners losing nearly a decade after Steve Young and Joe Montana (a washout in Tampa and a 3rd round draft pick respectively) chasing big "prototypical" QBs like Jim Druckenmiller and Alex Smith. Now they finally have a guy who helps them win and just not lose – and he's a 2d round pick from Nevada with a track record of leadership, major elusiveness and play-making ability.

Jimmyone December 18, 2012 at 10:12 am

And the Broncos are winning without Tebow

Negropolis December 18, 2012 at 9:46 am

I don't even think it sounds like it could be true, whether they are talking raw numbers or rates. I mean, it'd take a special kind of stupid for that not to set off one's alarm. I think even most Republicans know instinctively that this nation is violent, because many of them when left with no real defense of the obvious violence fall back on "well, this is the cost of freedom."

sullivanst December 18, 2012 at 10:21 am

I'm pretty sure I still trust you more to know the difference between a Federation and a Confederation, which is apparently still stumping Baggers.

sullivanst December 18, 2012 at 10:23 am

Yeah, it's nowhere near true and much everyone who's ever paid the slightest attention to the issue immediately knows it's nowhere near true. Whoever pulled that out of their ass knew full well they were pulling it out of their ass, and depended on ignorance and confirmation bias to have it accepted.

smokefilledroommate December 18, 2012 at 8:03 pm

Other themes include statehood, guns, telling people to get off your propertay, and dirt.

not that Dewey December 18, 2012 at 8:07 pm

And death from preventable childhood diseases.

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