movin' on up

In Bout Of Not-Affirmative Action, GOP To Promote Party’s Lone Remaining Black Representative

as close as the gop will ever get to a black pantherRep. Tim Scott (R-SC), who is the Other Black House Republican Besides Allen West, is your newest Senator from South Carolina, after Jim Demint left to grift money at the Heritage Foundation!  YAY!!!

Many people think that Tim Scott is somehow better because he is more moderate than Allen West, which is sort of like a fried Snickers bar being healthier than a fried Twinkie because it is covered in slightly less batter.  Also because, much like a Twinkie, Allen West was defeated and therefore no longer really exists.

As it turns out, Tim Scott is fucking crazy, but he has that sexy Michael Jordan head rather than Allen West’s weird graying Kendall Gill flattop, so all is forgiven.

As it turns out, Scott has floated impeaching Barack Obama over the debt limit, wanted to pay infinity money to put the Ten Commandments on state property, and wanted to kick people off food stamps if a working member of the family went on strike, among other things.

Granted, he never tortured an Iraqi prisoner like Allen West did, but it’s unfair to compare an apprentice to the master.

Congrats again to Tim Scott, who now has a guaranteed spot as the Black Friend to every Senate Republican from now until Barack Obama leaves office by stealing all the silverware. Well, unless they confuse him for Barack Obama, which they will do roughly three times a week until Joe Biden corrects them.

[Think Progress]

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    1. snowpointsecret

      Hm, for a guy wanting to pay infinite money for a lack of anything important? Probably the New York Yankees.

  1. Lascauxcaveman

    Yeah that whole "never tortured an Iraqi prisoner" thing is kind of a dealbreaker for me. Timmah here seems to only be interested in harming people administratively, using the tools of government, rather than actually, physically torturing them, with garrotes and electric prods and suchlike. Genghis Khan beats Ebeneezer Scrooge any day, in my book.

    Tim, you're no Allen West.

  2. taylormattd

    I knew those republicans totally weren't racist.

    But the real question remains: why have we not heard anything else about how Nicki Haley bangs bloggers all the time?

      1. Lizzietish81

        Wait…evil Spock had a goatee….Capt Sisko was black AND HAD A GOATEE!

        Sisko was the Bizarro Obama!

  3. Lizzietish81

    Doesn't he have his own sob story about growing up poor or something? Raised by a single mother?

    I love it when people who managed to get out of poverty act like they did it all through gumption and hard work…because that's simply not true.

    I was born poor. I went to public school, my dad was a union man, my college tuition was government subsidized and I was able to attend via public transportation.

    Unless you were raised on your own compound, paid for your education with nothing more than the pennies you saved from giving blood, then shut up, you had help.

      1. Lizzietish81

        I'd say hookers and blow, but that gives me a mental image of my father doing things that are at once horrible and also hysterically unlikely.

  4. BaldarTFlagass

    There is no doubt that this move by the GOP will bring dozens of black voters nationwide in to the Republican fold.

  5. TootsStansbury

    "We just need better optics and a more betterer means of delivering our message ro the American People!"

    1. Lizzietish81

      Alan Keyes may be one of those rare people too crazy for the Republicans.

      First time I heard of him he was talking to a bunch of grade school kids about abortion by equating it with murdering one of them.

  6. Lizzietish81

    If he runs against Obama wouldn't all the blahs be confused?

    eta; I mean isn't that what happened when Obama ran against Alan Keyes? Mass confusion as the blahs tried to figure out which one they should vote for.

    1. Tundra Grifter

      When George Norris was a progressive Senator from Nebraska he pushed through a law that senatorial candidates would not be identified by party.

      His opponents promptly found a grocery store owner named George Norris to run against him.

    2. Wile E. Quixote

      Actually that's what happened in the 2008 and 2012 elections as well. Millions of people turned out and voted for Barack Obama because they thought he was Alan Keyes, because they all look alike you know.

  7. Lucidamente1

    Well, unless they confuse him for Barack Obama, which they will do roughly three times a week until Joe Biden corrects them.

    Well, Ronald Reagan did once greet his own HUD Secretary with “How are you, Mr. Mayor? I’m glad to meet you. How are things in your city?”

  8. Oblios_Cap

    So he's a Charleston Southern grad? As batshit crazy as he is, I was thinking he had to be a Citadel alum.

  9. mormos

    So in the past election cycle the GOP reduced the number of elected minorities & women (at least in congress), how many years do you think until the party consists entirely of old white men?

    1. Wile E. Quixote

      I don't know, but it would be interesting to make a graph of peak white guy versus peak wingnut to see where the two curves intersect.

  10. Goonemeritus

    For all you artiest Wonketteers that fretted that Representative Allen West’s defeat would mean an end to snarking, the Lord has provided.

  11. An_Outhouse

    OT: Share this with your wing nut friends and relatives to reduce the number of gifts you'll have to buy this year:

    "Santa Passes Out Clean Needles for Christmas " Its got everything, dancing elves, contraceptives, blah people, yuou name it. Guaranteed to cause exploding heads.

  12. Severen13

    So, has Tim Scott said something crass about legitimate rape and God's gift of rape babies to women yet?

  13. SayItWithWookies

    How gross to say the Senate Republicans will be confusing this guy for Barack Obama. Really, that's so gauche and insensitive. They'll be confusing him for that guy from The Green Mile.

  14. MacRaith

    "Rep. Tim Scott (R-NC)"

    Ahem. I'd like to point out that Tim Scott is actually from South Carolina. North Carolina has it's share of wingnuts (see: Virginia Foxx), but they shouldn't have to have to take credit for South Carolina's share too.

  15. Lizzietish81

    I checked the yahoo story on this, cause I'm a masochist and yep, the tea baggers are already declaring that this means they are not racist, its the democrats who are racist because they're pointing out the racism of the Tea Party, which totally cannot be because they have a black guy.

  16. glasspusher

    Slightly OT: I just ordered an 8×8 pixel infrared sensor so I can make my own do-it yourself poor man's thermal imager, for fun and to see where I need to insulate my home. I got an email from the supplier saying I had to fill out a form and fax it back stating that I'm not going to use it for weapons of mass destruction, making drugs or what all.

    AND YET I can buy a gun from a private dealer or at a gun show without a background check?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?

    1. cousinitt

      Thermal imager, eh? Sure, that's what you say NOW. But within a few years you'll be into the harder stuff like sticking your thermocouple into places it ought not be. And after that, it's a short slippery slope to full-on thermo nuking.

    2. Guppy

      For all the right-wing whining about how anything could be used as a weapon, the NRA makes sure that guns really are special.

  17. vulpes82

    As cynical as this pick obviously is, this is still the first black Senator from the South since Reconstruction. That's a big deal. Who knew racism could end up being racially progressive, whilst continuing to be incredibly racist! My mind is twisting just thinking about it.

  18. Negropolis

    Different package, same shit. The Republicans just don't get it. You don't pick a different color of the same car and then try to present it as a different car, altogether. Though, I will say, this gives a lot of racist Republicans in South Carolina (almost all of them, Katie) a good reason to stay home during the special election to fill the rest of the term. Dems actually have a serious shot at a senate seat in the South, now. He will either be defeated in a primary, or defeated by a white, Southern Dem.

    They will do his ass just like they did Michael Steel.

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