PS GO FUCK YOURSELF  7:00 pm December 14, 2012

Internet Welcomes New Stupidest Man

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

KITTEHSSorry, “Gateway Pundit” Jim Hoft, you have lost your crown and all your glory. All you need to read in this most brilliant piece from new Stupidest Man on the Internet “ProteinWisdom” (Jeff Goldstein) is the headline:

“Obama, silent about union violence in Michigan, immediately reacts to Connecticut school shooting.”

That is all.

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 250 comments }

chascates December 14, 2012 at 7:02 pm

*sigh*

actor212 December 15, 2012 at 6:38 am

This is why we can't have nice things.

Nothingisamiss December 14, 2012 at 7:02 pm

Motherfucker.

miss_grundy December 14, 2012 at 7:06 pm

"Hijo de puta" is better, though.

Texan_Bulldog December 14, 2012 at 7:04 pm

Yes! Didn't you know a guy getting punched in the face is equal to 20 children (plus 6 adults) being gunned down in cold blood?

zerosumgame0005 December 14, 2012 at 9:38 pm

a guy getting punched in a fight he started is so much more important!

MisterCanoehead December 15, 2012 at 10:15 am

Because fighting back is the worst form of fighting.

Rebootably_Joe December 15, 2012 at 10:41 am

That is, like, the main message of the conservative movement, isn't it?

Dimitrios_M December 14, 2012 at 11:08 pm

Straining at a gnat while swallowing an elephant is basic training for Tea Pottyheads and their enablers.

Toomush_Infer December 15, 2012 at 8:43 am

and by "guy", you mean provacative asshole, right?…

Loch_Nessosaur December 14, 2012 at 7:04 pm

Jeff Goldstein, too amazingly stupid to realize just how fucking stupid he really is. I bet he sleeps easily at night.

ProgressiveInga December 14, 2012 at 7:29 pm

Amoebas sleep?

gingerland62 December 14, 2012 at 9:07 pm

If I had only become a complete and utter imbecile douche, i wouldn't have to have an Ambien scrip.

Slim_Pickins December 14, 2012 at 11:16 pm

Dunning-Krueger

Mandorlin December 14, 2012 at 11:18 pm

There's a scientific name for that: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Krug….

Toomush_Infer December 15, 2012 at 8:44 am

He takes Stupida…

glamourdammerung December 14, 2012 at 7:04 pm

Fox "news" comedians have a union?

Cleopatriot December 14, 2012 at 7:04 pm

What union violence? Did the AFSCME shoot anyone, much less kindergartners?

finallyhappy December 14, 2012 at 7:09 pm

I worked for AFSCME briefly- finding news articles that referred to their projects. We were an evil PR office

Lot_49 December 14, 2012 at 7:04 pm

"The idea that doing away with firearms or particular types of firearms will somehow magically restrain violent outbursts has been disproven in countries where strict gun laws are in effect."

Uh, not quite.

And those kittehs are an excellent example. Violent as hell, they fight each other all the time, and never kill each other. They eat whatever they do kill (or bring it in the cat door for you to finish off), and they kill it with their teeth and claws.

MadBrahms December 14, 2012 at 7:21 pm

[citation needed] on that paragraph of his, for sure. Probably "stuff I wrote on the back of a napkin",

Pat_Pending December 14, 2012 at 7:05 pm

If I rolled my eyes any harder I'd sustain permanent brain damage.

Monsieur_Grumpe December 15, 2012 at 7:31 am

Mine are making a rattling sound.

kingofmeh December 14, 2012 at 7:06 pm

yes, the president should totes comment on every fistfight in america and become the concerner-in-chief. he can do nothing but express concern and sadness for all the shoving matches that break out amid 310 million people.

CommieLibunatic December 14, 2012 at 7:46 pm

And you can bet your bottom Amero that if he actually did that, some fuckass would bellow something about nanny states.

noodlesalad December 14, 2012 at 7:07 pm

I won't give this fartmunching asshat the pleasure of a click through.

I will happily drink a toast to him getting fucked sideways with a chainsaw, with votes, right now.

fuflans December 14, 2012 at 7:09 pm

dude you must be in FINE shape by now.

noodlesalad December 14, 2012 at 7:47 pm

I can still think, so not quite.

memzilla December 14, 2012 at 7:14 pm

Garçon! I'll have what he's having, but hold the votes, s'il vous plaît.

NellCote71 December 14, 2012 at 7:19 pm

Let's suspend the niceties of "with votes."

RadioBitchFace December 14, 2012 at 7:23 pm

I second amendment that.

commiegirl99 December 14, 2012 at 7:25 pm

Permitted. This post only.

Will_Panic December 14, 2012 at 8:01 pm

Not fair, Rebecca. Not fair.

>crushing<

bikerlaureate December 14, 2012 at 8:17 pm

I'd settle for Goldstein being locked in a padded room, listening to an endless loop of his post being recited 24/7 for a month straight.

rmjagg December 14, 2012 at 8:51 pm

the chainsaw is ' on ' during the * voting * , right ? then I'm voting yes

miss_grundy December 14, 2012 at 9:13 pm

I was thinking of being kicked like a soccer ball, if you're an American, or being kicked like a football if you're English. (But it doesn't include votes.)

edgydrifter December 14, 2012 at 7:07 pm

No, he's not stupid. He's evil.

woolmyn December 14, 2012 at 7:48 pm

One can be stupid AND evil. Certainly this one is.

Dashboard Buddha December 14, 2012 at 8:32 pm

The banality of evil.

smokefilledroommate December 14, 2012 at 7:08 pm

Protein Wisdom… because not just anybody can summarize the news like a conservative jizzrag.

rickmaci December 14, 2012 at 7:13 pm

"Conservative jizzrag." Ouch. And very good.

dadanarchistmk2 December 14, 2012 at 7:20 pm

His name is "Protein Wisdom," which I assume is a euphemism for shamefully, sobbingly, sucking off dudes at the bus station.

stefanbc December 15, 2012 at 10:40 am

Bravo.

memzilla December 14, 2012 at 7:08 pm

Ya know, I see stupid s**t like this, and part of me wants to click through and read it, and part of me says No Clickeys For You, Revenue Hungry Butt Brain.

Someone needs to code a site that you could filter trash like this asshat writes through, so it would actually subtract clicks from his site.

Get me Neo and Morpheus on Line Two!

ingloriousbytch December 14, 2012 at 7:08 pm

Something tells me Hoft won't hold the title for very long.

Can we get some baby hedgehogs in the next post? I need hedgehogs.

montreal_bruin December 14, 2012 at 7:46 pm

Dinsdale, is that you?

CommieLibunatic December 14, 2012 at 7:49 pm

If not, there's a place you can go. In fact, look at that most recent post!

Biff December 14, 2012 at 8:45 pm

Will you settle for an echidna?

winnyfranfran December 14, 2012 at 10:10 pm

My cat brings me a stuffed hedgehog when I am sleeping or trying to sleep. He is very nice.

Crank_Tango December 14, 2012 at 7:09 pm

Fuck this guy with a soldering iron, of votes.

BigSkullF*ckingDog December 14, 2012 at 7:09 pm

Off to take a shower after reading some of the comments after his screed.

midnighttoker69 December 14, 2012 at 7:10 pm

Y'know, considering that we live in a country where you can't buy a bottle of sudafed without the government knowing about it, or walk through an airport without taking your shoes off, it is absurdly easy to walk into a school with an assault rifle.

Mojopo December 14, 2012 at 9:54 pm

I was thinking the same thing. This year I have walked through rape scanners at airports several times, had to give my address when I went to the pharm to buy my girlfriend cold medicine, presented ID to vote and was checked by security camera jockeys at department stores every time I adjusted my bra strap while wearing a winter coat. And some insane fucker from Hell walked right in and shot little kids.

Negropolis December 14, 2012 at 10:19 pm

And, it's even easier to purchase that assault rifle in the first place.

MUHAMMED_PBUH December 14, 2012 at 11:36 pm

i hate to be THAT GUY but as of now it looks like the shootings were done with handguns, not a rifle

Negropolis December 15, 2012 at 2:16 am

But, he had the rifle on him, which is a pretty good indicator that he either meant to use it or that it was an option. That he happened on a whim to use the handguns is irrelevant; the motive doesn't change.

sewollef December 15, 2012 at 6:28 pm

He used all three weapons, a Sig Sauer and Glock handgun and a .223 Bushmaster semi-automatic assault rifle. All the guns belonged [legally] to his mother, who was an "avid" gun nut.

Recent reports coming in [at 16:00/Saturday] are that the kids were shot 'multiple times' — each.

redarmyzombie December 16, 2012 at 1:58 am

"If his mother only had more guns, this whole tragedy could have been avHUUURK! HUUUUUUUURRRRRRRK!!!!!!"

(Sorry…I just made myself throw up a little…)

Jennyjen798 December 15, 2012 at 9:54 am

My school had/still has metal detectors but then again my school was/is full of browns and blahs.

PuckStopsHere December 14, 2012 at 7:13 pm

Yes. Because smacking some Fox News asshole who was begging for it in the face is exactly the same thing as what happened today to those children.

HRH_Maddie December 14, 2012 at 7:13 pm

I don't know, Mike Huckabee is giving this guy a good run for his money for the title of "Stupidest Man" on the internet or otherwise.

commiegirl99 December 14, 2012 at 7:26 pm

Nah, Huckabee's sanctimony is so predictable it doesn't even garner a post. This one, this is something special.

An_Outhouse December 14, 2012 at 9:26 pm

he's not anything special. he'd been posting stupid shit for years. i didn't realize he still existed.

emmelemm December 14, 2012 at 7:34 pm

Huckabee was beaten to his punch by Bryan Fischer, anyway.

HRH_Maddie December 14, 2012 at 7:38 pm

It almost feels like you guys don't want to hate Huck more than you already do. Like, just when you thought he couldn't be any more of a bible-thumping fat man, BOOM! he goes and says something that makes me give my laptop the middle finger.

Full disclosure: I am a bottle deep into Sauv blanc. It's been a rough day.

emmelemm December 14, 2012 at 7:54 pm

You are entitled and correct. Bless you and don't forget to hydrate lest you have a hangover.

HRH_Maddie December 14, 2012 at 8:00 pm

Thanks for the reminder. I've poured a tall glass of water and a taller glass of wine.

commiegirl99 December 14, 2012 at 8:19 pm

Three quarters of the way through a bottle of a very nice Viognier myself. Started at 2 my time. Which was quite late, actually.

Wile E. Quixote December 14, 2012 at 7:44 pm

Bryan J. Fischer of the American Family Association also threw his hat into the ring this morning with a post on Twitter lamenting the fact that this school was in a gun-free zone which just made the children targets.

bikerlaureate December 14, 2012 at 8:14 pm

He's gotta be doing it maliciously, though. No one is that unaware of the harm he's doing.

miss_grundy December 14, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Oh believe me, these people are that unaware. Have you already forgotten everything they said during the election? Of course, now they will blame the children and the teachers who were killed this morning, instead of blaming this country's continued romance with guns, because of freedom. This constant need for white men to fix their problems by killing strangers is their idea of what America is all about.

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 14, 2012 at 9:02 pm

When are we going to finally fully arm our five-year olds? Would this fuck even had tried if he knew he was facing a well armed force of elementary kids? Why has Obama done nothing about this!

HRH_Maddie December 14, 2012 at 9:35 pm

I've already started a We The People petition to arm five-year olds.

viennawoods13 December 14, 2012 at 9:49 pm

I just read what he had to say. What a fucking moran. Because those 5 year old children had it coming to them for their godless ways. FUCK YOU Mike Huckabee, and the god you rode in on.

And I'm drinking Slivovitz.

kingofmeh December 14, 2012 at 7:17 pm

also, since nbc is reporting that the guns involved were owned by the shooter's mother – a teacher – maybe the knee-jerk response that we should get all the teachers more guns isn't correct?

PubOption December 14, 2012 at 7:35 pm

And, apparently, she was killed at home with her own gun before her son went on to shoot the children. Over to you, Mr. LaPierre.

Callyson December 14, 2012 at 8:47 pm

"Well, the problem was, she only had *one* gun. A person really needs several of them so that they can access one at any time and defend themselves before the shooter has a chance to kill them."

- Wayne LaPierre

/FFS

rickmaci December 14, 2012 at 7:17 pm

Only the first ripple of the tidal wave that will be coming from the NRA owned mediagunwhores in the the next 48 hours.

FeloniousMonk December 14, 2012 at 7:44 pm

"Gun laws didn't stop Dunblane" in 3..2..1.. The fact that they have to go back to 1996 won't faze them.

miss_grundy December 14, 2012 at 9:27 pm

How many more rampages have we had in England since Dunblane? Because here in Amercia, it seems we have at least one rampage per week, if not more. We already had one rampage at the mall in Oregon just a couple of days ago and now we have a school killing. And these gun morons want people to carry guns in church and the library.

FeloniousMonk December 14, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Right. Pretty soon the headline will be "Small Massacre. Not Many Dead."

woolmyn December 14, 2012 at 7:50 pm

I think you mean tsunami.

PubOption December 14, 2012 at 10:12 pm

"If guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns." Tell me, Mr. Gun Nut, how many bank robbers have gone on to massacre schoolchildren? How many muggers? Did Doc Holliday or Jesse James ever blast away at a schoolhouse?

I would love to see a Gun Nut doing the fish-mouth thing..

fuflans December 14, 2012 at 11:39 pm

oh yeah it's gonna be gross. but me personally, i'm done. this one has finally gotten me off my ass and involved.

and i'm pretty sure i'm not the only one.

time to actually say out loud 'fuck you NRA, and yeah, you killed 20 children two weeks before christmas'.

el_donaldo December 14, 2012 at 7:19 pm

In all fairness, Goldstein is seriously mentally unbalanced. Seriously meaning I'm actually serious. Goldstein is not a well person.

Dudleydidwrong December 14, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Then someone get the dumb fuck the help he needs–but get him off the Intertubez as he's doing harm–he's making Huckabee-bee-brain and some others look a tiny bit better by comparison.

Biel_ze_Bubba December 15, 2012 at 8:09 am

Unfortunately, that won't prevent him from getting all the guns he wants.

chascates December 14, 2012 at 7:19 pm

Another Freeper chimes in:

Twelve facts about guns and mass shootings in the United States (here we go again)
I'm not going to quote from this article because I don't want to make anyone ill. However, I will tell you that one of the author's sources is Mother Jones. I'm not joking. Click on the link and read at your own risk.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/wonkblog/wp/2

And it turns out it's that crazy Ezra Klein and his factual charts again.

editor December 14, 2012 at 7:20 pm

wow. nice to see *someone* has their priorities straight… what a genius. hand him a pulitzer now.

rmjagg December 14, 2012 at 8:57 pm

I'd hand him his pulitzer on the end of a sledgehammer

snowpointsecret December 14, 2012 at 7:21 pm

Translation: Tents are more important than children.

What the fuck.

cousinitt December 14, 2012 at 7:23 pm

Go watch The Hobbit. You'll see Jeff there. Here he is http://lotr.wikia.com/wiki/Great_Goblin?file=The_

dadanarchistmk2 December 14, 2012 at 7:24 pm

What did those poor, adorable kittehs ever do to deserve association with noted fuckstick Jeff Goldstein?

CommieLibunatic December 14, 2012 at 7:52 pm

They'll grow up into anti-social little turds?

corthylio December 14, 2012 at 7:25 pm

This guy gives false equivalency a bad name.

poorgradstudent December 14, 2012 at 7:26 pm

I've been following the moronic achievements of Protein Wisdom for a good long while now. Seeing him finally get "picked up" by Wonkette makes me feel proud, like the parent of a child winning a scholarship.

anniegetyerfun December 14, 2012 at 7:48 pm

A very special child, though.

dr_giraud December 15, 2012 at 1:17 pm

JG, age 4: "I finally shit my pants, mommy!"

Callyson December 15, 2012 at 1:49 am

Can't force myself to go away from this story, so I just clicked on the link. Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

RadioBitchFace December 14, 2012 at 7:29 pm

Wait, I thought Obama was talking about the union thug teachers.

eekahil December 14, 2012 at 7:30 pm

#eatadickJimHoft

rocktonsam December 14, 2012 at 7:30 pm

CRIPES,

ENOUGH ALREADY. CAN'T THESE PEOPLE JUST NOT BE ASSHOLES FOR JUST ONE TRAGIC SHITTY DAY?!!!!111!!

CRIPES

snowpointsecret December 14, 2012 at 7:30 pm

Seriously though, I know the cries of "we're politicizing a tragedy" will come even stronger, isn't something like this the right time to talk about gun legislation? Seriously, if we don't now they'll brush things like this off as "isolated incidents" even though they aren't anymore.

I wish some people in congress would have the guts to really push this issue while people are paying attention to how truly fucked up things are in this country.

CommieLibunatic December 14, 2012 at 7:55 pm

It's going to happen regardless, so no time like the present. It reminds me of everyone talking about Post-Racial America after Obama got elected, right as the tide of racism was beginning to swell again.

woolmyn December 14, 2012 at 8:04 pm

It's getting hard to find the time between all these incidents lately.

SayItWithWookies December 14, 2012 at 8:24 pm

Oh, dear no — rushing to judgment is strictly for stopping liberal plots that would destroy America — you know, like defunding ACORN over a doctored videotape.

NellCote71 December 14, 2012 at 9:08 pm

And how soon we have apparently forgotten about Benghazzziiii!

MonkeyMotion December 14, 2012 at 7:31 pm

Yep Goldilocks, that union tent violence has got to stop.

Then, MAYBE, you'll consider the silly issue of gun violence…fkface.

CommieLibunatic December 14, 2012 at 7:33 pm

All the rage. ALL of it.

docterry6973 December 14, 2012 at 7:34 pm

Clearly union 'violence' is a greater problem because…I got nothin'.

This person is needs a severe talking-to.

mrblifil December 14, 2012 at 7:37 pm

Benghazi = 4, Kindergartners = 20

Your move Senator McCain, and your kid fucker sidekick.

woolmyn December 14, 2012 at 7:52 pm

When the first news bulletins came out the station I was watching interviewed some law enforcement official who cautioned that usually the first information that comes out in these kind of tragic situations is often incorrect. I thought of Benghazi, of course.

commiegirl99 December 14, 2012 at 8:22 pm

I can see McCain introducing a gun-control bill to try to rescue his legacy. Hope he does. Otherwise he can GO FUCK HIMSELF.

Biff December 14, 2012 at 10:32 pm

He could probably use a good Rogering. From Ailes, of course.

BoatOfVelociraptors December 15, 2012 at 5:47 am

We got McCain-Feingold out of the Keating scandal. Perhaps a McCain-Giffords bill?

That would be one f-d up legacy.

chascates December 14, 2012 at 7:37 pm

David Frum tweets a snarky: Shooting at CT elementary school. Obviously, we need to lower the age limit for concealed carry so toddlers can defend themselves.

But a Daily Caller reader sees right through this:
Liberals have always been impervious to evidence and common sense. They operate on emotions and feelings. The most dangerous places in America are gun free zones – every massacre has taken place in a gun free zone. The safest places in America are where gun owners hang out. Sigh! What about this is so hard to understand? The evidence is all around us.
School teachers and school custodians should all be trained CCW permit holders – and allowed to pack heat in the school – FOR THE SAKE OF THE CHILDREN!

docterry6973 December 14, 2012 at 7:45 pm

'Pack heat'

As your read that sentence you can see the cum dripping down his leg.

Dashboard Buddha December 14, 2012 at 8:29 pm

urp….I'd rather not.

not that Dewey December 14, 2012 at 7:46 pm

Answer: conduct all preschool classes at pistol ranges.

A B C D *BANG* E F G H I *BANG* J K …

ManchuCandidate December 14, 2012 at 8:07 pm

Of course. Those teachers will shoot like Delta Force or DevGroup Operators because they'll spend 4 hours a day on the range instead of teaching kids.

Numbfuck doesn't get that teachers aren't happy with Kochblocking either. Do you think he'd be happy if those uppity teachers started using their skills on others? Hint hint? Probably not.

What a complete Fucking idiot.

viennawoods13 December 14, 2012 at 8:23 pm

As a teacher I say OH FOR FUCKS SAKE.

PopeEdgardo December 14, 2012 at 7:37 pm

Jesus, these selfish pigs. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!!!

editor December 14, 2012 at 7:37 pm

eeeww. i have dredged through some protein wisdom and now i feel so soiled. mr. goldstein actually refers to obamacare as "the free exercise of libertinism / uterus scraping." he is grotesque.

Blueb4sinrise December 14, 2012 at 7:37 pm
docterry6973 December 14, 2012 at 7:46 pm

So do I. Bigger than I need, if you get my drift.

Blueb4sinrise December 14, 2012 at 7:55 pm

Pics . This place needs a laugh.

PopeEdgardo December 14, 2012 at 7:50 pm

And you know what they say about men with big hands, don't you?

shelwood46 December 14, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Big… feet?

NellCote71 December 14, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Thanks. We needed that.

snowpointsecret December 14, 2012 at 7:38 pm

Clearly, the streets in West Dayton where lots of shootings happen is a gun-free zone.

Oh, wait…

miss_grundy December 14, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Or the south side of Chicago, or the northwest side of Chicago, or the east side of Detroit, or the west side of Detroit, etc……

corthylio December 14, 2012 at 7:40 pm

If anyone needs a break from bad news, I saw that someone may have sighted a couple of Ivory-billed Woodpeckers near the SC/GA border in the Savannah NWR. No news reports and I don't know how credible the sighting is, but it's nice to think they're still out there… http://ebird.org/ebird/ett/view/checklist?subID=S

Blueb4sinrise December 14, 2012 at 7:46 pm

8-10 years ago maybe one in Arkansas I think it was. Or Louisiana.

Tundra Grifter December 14, 2012 at 10:18 pm

I highly recommend "The Grail Bird" book.

And I highly recommend Wonkette work up a book section.

corthylio December 14, 2012 at 10:49 pm

The book looks interesting. I also found this earlier today: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/04/1104

anniegetyerfun December 14, 2012 at 7:41 pm

…as an opportunity restrict a basic human right, the right to defend oneself (a right disallowed, incidentally, by the law-abiding players in many of these tragedies, thanks to gun-free school zones, or gun-free movie theaters, etc.).

Seriously, those fucking gun-free school zones! Would that every area near a school was TEEMING with unbridled fire power!

anniegetyerfun December 14, 2012 at 7:46 pm

It's like when a hurricane happens, and that goddamn Red Fucking Cross politicizes everything and asks for donations. I HATE that. Why can they wait until everyone has forgotten about the hurricane?

shelwood46 December 14, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Congress is doing their part by withholding disaster relief fund for Hurricane Sandy. They just get it, you know?

BerkeleyBear December 14, 2012 at 11:56 pm

Let's be clear – not Congress, but the fucknut GOP House which no longer represents the views of a majority of Americans on just about anything.

Wile E. Quixote December 15, 2012 at 12:24 pm

I know, the Demonrats are always do that sort of thing, like remember how after the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor that FDR went out and politicized the tragedy by making that "Day of Infamy" speech and asking Congress for a declaration of war on Japan? And really, isn't it obvious in hindsight that it was the failed liberal policies of the New Deal that caused the tragedy? After all, if the Army, Navy and Marine Corps had had guns at Pearl Harbor they could have defended themselves against the Imperial Japanese Navy.

James Michael Curley December 14, 2012 at 7:49 pm

"As a country, we have been through this too many times. Whether it's an elementary school in Newtown, or a shopping mall in Oregon, or a temple in Wisconsin, or a movie theater in Aurora, or a street corner in Chicago — these neighborhoods are our neighborhoods, and these children are our children. And we're going to have to come together and take meaningful action to prevent more tragedies like this, regardless of the politics"
Obama – today

Weedlord BonerHitler December 14, 2012 at 7:53 pm

The RWNJs ar going nuts pounding him on this.

Dashboard Buddha December 14, 2012 at 8:31 pm

That's just crazy talk.

Weedlord BonerHitler December 14, 2012 at 7:52 pm

Is there a way for the rest of us to change this idiot's name? I'm thinking "Protein Idiocy" would be a great start.

johnnyzhivago December 14, 2012 at 7:55 pm

It's shocking!

If you're a highly paid Fox News reporter or a lobbyist for the Koch Brothers, this president doesn't give a plug nickle for your life!

Weedlord BonerHitler December 14, 2012 at 7:57 pm

BeccaLou, I'm worried about you. You OK, baby? A 7 pm piece?

Srsly, snark off. Go home and beat up a punching bag, or drink a barrel, baby.

ManchuCandidate December 14, 2012 at 8:04 pm

Equivalency fail.

BarackMyWorld December 14, 2012 at 8:04 pm

Wowwwwwwwwwwwww.

Barrelhse December 14, 2012 at 8:07 pm

Even as I hope people would have had enough of this kind of idiocy, the Base feeds on it and grows more ugly by the day.

corthylio December 14, 2012 at 8:07 pm

For some reason, this seems appropriate:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cflReZ1nZDA

"…This was my country
This was my song
Somewhere in the middle there
Though it started badly and it's ending wrong

This was my country
This frightful and this angry land
But it's my right if the worst of it might
Still somehow make me a better man…"

Blueb4sinrise December 14, 2012 at 8:08 pm
Maman December 14, 2012 at 8:12 pm

I saw my Congressman post on Facebook about he will pray for the victims, blah, blah…. My response, "Do something about it"

Mojopo December 14, 2012 at 10:07 pm

My Congressman, Danny Davis, hasn't said anything because he doesn't know how to use the Internet.

Spider-Jerk December 15, 2012 at 10:49 am

"I'm gonna sit on my ass and think _real hard_ about somebody else doing something about this terrible incident, and the traumatized survivors and communities it left behind. Ain't I the best Congressman EVER?"

Seriously, fuck that noise.

Lot_49 December 14, 2012 at 8:14 pm

Let's nominate Jeff Goldstein for the Ward Churchill Tin Ear award.

imissopus December 14, 2012 at 8:25 pm

Dumber than Jim Hoft? Dumber than Matthew Boyle even? I don't know, Editrix…

Clicks link

AH GOD MY BRAIN!

Callyson December 14, 2012 at 8:30 pm

Thank God I am back home and do not have to drive anymore, so I can drink…

…then again, I'm not sure I have enough liquor in the house after today. BRB…

Barrelhse December 14, 2012 at 8:43 pm

I think we all know that Obama had this staged so he can take away all the guns.

NellCote71 December 14, 2012 at 9:17 pm

I am sure that has been floated out there.

fuflans December 14, 2012 at 11:44 pm

it's time to take away their guns

LetUsBray December 15, 2012 at 12:09 am

Could he hurry up and get on that, please?

LibrarianX December 14, 2012 at 8:44 pm

too numb to snark

orygoon December 14, 2012 at 8:49 pm

Too hurt to snark.

ProgressiveInga December 14, 2012 at 10:51 pm

Too disgusted to snark….

rmjagg December 14, 2012 at 8:46 pm

what a vulgar little cunt

Guppy December 14, 2012 at 8:57 pm

If they want to argue moral equivalence, make it equivalent.

Are there not enough brick walls to line them up against?

Beowoof December 14, 2012 at 8:57 pm

It appears that the right wing Xtianist are have a contest of stupid today. Here is my entry:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=is2x7QTZ8AI

Blueb4sinrise December 14, 2012 at 9:00 pm

Ya know, I was looking around the internets………and Imma guess Goldstein isn't even in the top ten by noon tomorrow.

kingofmeh December 14, 2012 at 9:00 pm

to the editrix: if someone asks what would have happened if hitler allowed the jews to have guns, feel free to point out that hitler spent several years tromping all over people who not only had guns, but tanks, airplanes, whole armies, etc.

the poles in warsaw weren't able to maintain a hold on the city in the 1944 uprising, even after the wehrmacht was exhausted and suffering defeats on all sides. the notion that thousands of jews carrying small arms would have even registered as a blip in the context of a conflict with tens of millions of people fighting for one side or another is laughable.

Tundra Grifter December 14, 2012 at 10:22 pm

How about the SLA down in LA? Didn't work out for them.

Ruby Ridge. The Wackos in Waco.

This meme about an armed citizenry vs. either a fully armed police force or its para-military equivalent doesn't cut it.

Heck – John Brown at Harper's Ferry. Bobby Lee still got him out of the Engine House.

poorgradstudent December 14, 2012 at 11:48 pm

Or Syria, where even with large armed militias acting against the government the regime is still in power (if only in a broad sense of the word) with no end in sight.

Governments don't topple from internal resistance without more than a few factors working against them and usually only after they've been worn down by many years of steady decline and failures. Hell, one of the first major events of post-independence American history, the Whiskey Rebellion, shows why the myth of the independent yeoman farmer who can take down his government whenever it gets annoying is bullshit.

BerkeleyBear December 15, 2012 at 12:06 am

A single M1-A1 tank tends to ruin the day of a whole host of people with small arms. Which is, of course, why the NRA is supporting the private ownership of RPGs and Stingers as part of their views of what is appropriate for self-defense.

And by the way, it isn't like this imbalance didn't exist all the way back to the Constitution or something. While the 2d Amendment is tied to an idea of citizen militias and resistance at the margins, the Revolutionary War wasn't won until the Americans learned how to fight as soldiers and got their hands on heavy weapons, naval support and engineered fortifications. Yet there was never support for the 2d Amendment to be read as covering private possession of cannons and rockets.

So since the imbalance will always exist why, again, should it be that big of a deal to make it harder for the unbalanced angry loner to wipe out a whole class by banning assault weapons and limiting clip sizes? (Crickets).

Tundra Grifter December 16, 2012 at 12:09 pm

BB:

Like in Hungary vs. the Soviet Union? Also Czechoslovakia.

Jennyjen798 December 15, 2012 at 10:13 am

No Shit. I've already seen the nazi argument once since the shooting.

I am so sick of hearing about how the 2nd amendment prevents government tyranny from the same people screaming about Obama's oppressive government tyranny!

Aridzona December 14, 2012 at 9:01 pm

Clicked on the link provided. Read article and a handful of posts. Now I need a bath. Ugh!

Blueb4sinrise December 14, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Playing For Change

Gimme Shelter

gullywompr December 14, 2012 at 10:15 pm

Rape, murder!
It's just a shot away
It's just a shot away …

Monsieur_Grumpe December 15, 2012 at 8:38 am

Nice.
Thanks you.

BoatOfVelociraptors December 14, 2012 at 9:47 pm

Godchrist McFuckballs. By the asparagus scented stream pissed forth by Judas in the maw of satan himself, not again.

Life is Hobbesian enough without the need for people whip out their N.R.A. stamped dicks to make a point.

FeloniousMonk December 14, 2012 at 10:47 pm

That was inspired.

BoatOfVelociraptors December 15, 2012 at 5:38 am

Sadly, it was.Thanks

Negropolis December 14, 2012 at 9:55 pm

I'm so damned man. I'm tired or being tired. I was just discussing with someone earlier this week or being tired of having these motherfucking shootings in this motherfucking plane of a country. Twenty dead elementary-aged children and we can't do anything about it?! And, after all the right-wing shit that's happened to where I live locally, this week, this has just been a VERY bad week.

We need a revolution, a revolution of the American soul. We need to make an unholy push. We must make it impossible for good peple to aid and abet people and ideas that make already vulnerable populations more vulnerable in every aspect of American life. We've already cried too many tears. It's time to shame to hell the people that seek to make us less safe through rank selfishness. They don't understand anything else.

gullywompr December 14, 2012 at 10:18 pm

No quarter.

Steverino247 December 14, 2012 at 11:00 pm

Drawn and quartered, with votes.

BerkeleyBear December 15, 2012 at 12:08 am

Half-hung, drawn and quartered – for historical completeness and accuracy, of course.

orygoon December 14, 2012 at 11:48 pm

Amen, and pass the pitchfork. (I already wrote Sens. Merkley and Wyden and my congressman.)

sati_demise December 15, 2012 at 12:01 am

Righteous rant.

BoatOfVelociraptors December 15, 2012 at 6:05 am

We just need to teach people that if the government controlling their guns is an untenable concept, then government control of money is even worse. Imagine what a government could do with dollars of mass destruction. They might buy a nuke or two.

Monsieur_Grumpe December 15, 2012 at 8:41 am

Well said. I think it is time to stay mad.

Troubledog December 14, 2012 at 10:01 pm

False equivalency is like their zone defense.

FeloniousMonk December 14, 2012 at 10:06 pm

Hopelessly off-topic, but I've got to share this with someone:

On this miserable day, one good thing happened to me. On the porch of a bar in Baton Rouge I met three young men who are canoeing the length of the Mississippi. They've made it 2000+ miles from the headwaters to here. They've got a dog with them, and they'd never even heard of Jerome K. Jerome. They don't know it, but with them go my hopes, not just for their safe arrival, but for the future of our branch of the primates.

viennawoods13 December 14, 2012 at 10:15 pm

I think I heard one of those guys interviewed by Michael Feldman a few weeks ago.

Mojopo December 14, 2012 at 10:35 pm

Thank you for that. It matters.

fuflans December 14, 2012 at 11:50 pm

that's so lovely. thanks

and also: funniest goddamn book. finished it recently. you should buy a copy for them when they fly back to MN with their canoe.

BadKitty904 December 15, 2012 at 1:29 am

For what it may be worth on this sad, sorry day, "Three Men in a Boat (To Say Nothing of the Dog)" is one of the funniest books I've ever read.

ChickTract_Fil_A December 14, 2012 at 10:07 pm

What an incredible experience. I TRY to read this salad, but my eyes just keep BOUNCING OFF IT. Like a coin off a balloon or a babe on a trampoline. Seriously, I swear I look like Marty Feldman right now.

mosjef December 14, 2012 at 10:29 pm

In other words, if more kindergarten children carried automatic weapons, this never would have happened.

al2o3cr December 14, 2012 at 10:30 pm

Via (no surprise) Fox News, A CHALLENGER APPEARS:
http://blog.seattlepi.com/seattlepolitics/2012/12

Yes, that *is* former GOP almost-nominee Mike Huckabee. Yes, he did just blame a school shooting on Sky Jeebus being pissed that we aren't sucking up enough.

Ol' Huckster is really going to have a hell of a time keeping this level of utterly clueless assclownery up until the 2016 primary…

richmx2 December 15, 2012 at 7:24 pm

So, church shootings are caused by taking Algebra out of the Bible?

Negropolis December 14, 2012 at 10:49 pm

I'm watching the MSNBC coverage – I really have to change, soon – and there is some bullshit artist "expert" on whose basic commentary is that we can't ever know or predict anything, so there are no solutions to this problem, the end. I really hate this disingenuous bullshit, because, guess what? This is normal in much of the rest of the world, developed or not.

I'm weary, just plain boned-tired, of this conveniently defeatist idea that the only thing we can do is "pray" that these things don't happen, and then when they do that the only thing we can do is "pray" for the souls of the deceased. Can this nation do nothing about anything, anymore? Does no one else see how conveniently defeatist we've all become, or how helpless the powers-that-be make us feel?

The NRA needs to be thoroughly laid to waste as a cultural institution. There is no way out of this insanity but through them. There is no good left that they can do to redeem all of the bad that they do.

You know, literally a few hours before this happened, the Michigan legislature – in the ead of the arly morning – passed a bill allowing guns into more places, inclyding daycare centers. To his credit, after what happened today, Snyder is hinting that he may not sign this bill among others, but the crafters of this had the nerve to say that this wouldn't have happened if the teachers had had guns. We need to make it so that people are embarrassed to say this.

BerkeleyBear December 15, 2012 at 12:16 am

Snyder will sign it – in a week or so, when he thinks no one is looking. This whole attitude that America=packing heat everywhere is so unhinged and lacking in factual basis that it is laughable, but it is so ridiculously entrenched that I just don't see how we pass the revisions and or repeal of the 2d Amendment we really need. This is exacerbated by the Fox News cycle convincing over 40 percent of this nation that we are in decline and doomed because the "other" is now in charge. Which is also fucking ludicrous, but will at least provide me with some fodder for academic writing.

Maybe in 4-5 generations, when almost all of the children in the world are some beautiful mix of gene pools to a point where we can't say who the "other" is then we will be able to have a sane conversation about this and similar topics.

Oh, who am I kidding – we will be worse than Dr. Seuss' Sneetches and find some lame ass distinction to use to keep killing each other.

Negropolis December 15, 2012 at 2:22 am

You know, Rachel's show tonight brought up a lot of great data. I think she brought up that when polled, even 70-something percent of NRA members said that ALL firearms purchased should come with a background check, something that doesn't happen, but when obviously something alot of Americans believe happens.

How we are unable to convert this to policy wins is beyond me. Somebody needs to find out how to convert this to wins, and quickly, because lives are literally on the line everyday because of our failures.

Hell, if the Republicans can begin to drown Grover in a bathtub (with votes), they can sure as hell skirt around the edges of the completely insane NRA. I want to see the president DEMAND that gun control be put on his desk – ANY kind of gun control legislation – and then have Pelosi totally make a scene in the House to get Boehner to deliver her some votes for such legislation. This needs to be public and it needs to be soon. We have to at least show that it can be done and take the stigma away.

You know, you often here folks when these things happen ask "how would this have affected this particular situation?" And, you know, sometimes it's a fair question, but what remains true is that fewer firearms, period, would cut down on gun deaths. I know this even makes some conservative Dems feel uneasy but I personally DO want to see fewer guns, and if gun controls are hard enough to make people take a step back and decide it's not worth the hassle, that's good enough for me.

fatbob54 December 15, 2012 at 9:19 am

The 2nd Amendment talks about a "Well Regulated Militia". These assholes are regulated at all.

BerkeleyBear December 15, 2012 at 10:47 am

Well Scalia and co. read that right out of the bill. They did at the same time say there were all sorts of things that maybe could be done, but without talking about specifics. So very helpful, pricks.

fatbob54 December 15, 2012 at 12:05 pm

that should read "not regulated".

Steverino247 December 14, 2012 at 11:02 pm

I hate Jeff Goldstein even more than I hate his brother, Emmanuel Goldstein. Three minutes hate instead of the usual two.

ttommyunger December 14, 2012 at 11:04 pm

Puppies have always barked at trains. Trains have always just kept rolling on down the tracks…..

Biff December 14, 2012 at 11:24 pm

Shit's not new…

OFFS, now this fucking guy pipes up!

Front Sight is out here where I live. It's not an inherently bad thing/place, but it's operated by morans…

Dudleydidwrong December 15, 2012 at 10:45 am

Now this isn't opportunism, is it? I mean, suggesting that everyone sign up with this organization to teach us how to perform gun battles in a classroom full of (possibly armed) children isn't trying to make money from this horror in Connecticut, by any chance?

And the wingnut fuckheads blame Obama for speaking up about doing something about gun violence.

not that Dewey December 15, 2012 at 11:07 am
Biff December 15, 2012 at 11:51 am

I was there! Before I took on the Joe Cool persona:

Jim89048 July 31, 2009 at 11:15 pm

“Piazza was previously granted a special deputyship by the Nye County, Nevada sheriff”.
That former sheriff was Wade Lieseke Jr., implicated (but never substantiated) in Teddie Binion’s missing hoarde of silver. He had a habit of taking care of people who could damage his career.

Sucks to be me, I live near the Front Sight compound. I’m hopelessly outgunned.

not that Dewey December 15, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Awesome. Every time i see that Newsmax link → off to the side there, I think "Whoa, Newsmax". I laugh about this every day.

Good times.

Troglodeity December 14, 2012 at 11:44 pm

Interesting … no one has as yet simply told Jeff Goldstein the obvious: to go fuck himself.

Consider this lapse corrected. Jeff Goldstein: Go fuck yourself.

Oh, and also: You miserable little piece of shit cocksucker douche bag. How dare you. I pray you don't have any kindergarten-age kids, you abominable fuckwad. If I ever have the misfortune of seeing you in public, I will hawk up the biggest loogie I can possibly find and let it fly in your direction. And that loogie, disgusting as it is, will still be ten thousand times more righteous than your pitiful soul.

fuflans December 14, 2012 at 11:52 pm

i think ole (fat again) huckabee may, in fact, be stupider.

but it's going be a close fight.

mayor_quimby December 15, 2012 at 1:27 am

Yeah, what happened to him? Did jeebus tell him he was never gonna be potus, so he took up Big Macs again?
Morally Weak!!!

sati_demise December 14, 2012 at 11:57 pm

ABC' journalist' vampire gets a bag of dicks:

http://i.imgur.com/zanjK.jpg

sati_demise December 14, 2012 at 11:58 pm

As always, the master said it best:

"There is NO connection between having a gun and shooting someone with it, and not having a gun and not shooting someone." – Bill Hicks

arihaya December 15, 2012 at 12:13 am

seriously, compared to labor demos in Asia, Michigan too peaceful it is like French ballet

cousinitt December 15, 2012 at 12:27 am

The next Wonkette bombshell post should be about the home-spun banality that is Huckabee http://livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/entry/hucka… Why does this motherfucker get a pass just because he is allowed to slime his way onto The Daily Show and taken seriously?

The fucking shooter was not even a student at the school. God damn fucking dammit.

viennawoods13 December 15, 2012 at 10:05 am

And now Jon is off til after Xmas, so there is no chance of him skewering Huckabee in a timely fashion.

Biff December 15, 2012 at 12:37 am

Shots fired@Excalibur…

Warpde December 15, 2012 at 12:37 am

As if this day wasn't fucked up enough.

Biff December 15, 2012 at 1:03 am

So far 1 man dead, 1 woman critical at UMC. No further details. Amateurs.

corthylio December 15, 2012 at 1:47 am

Possibly posted earlier, but it bears repeating, if so: http://www.bradycampaign.org/

Joshua Norton December 15, 2012 at 2:06 am

Puts me in mind of the Oscar Wilde quote: "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends".

BTWBFDIMHO December 15, 2012 at 2:32 am

Andre Gide wrote that the suffering of a child is proof enough of the non-existence of a good God.
Well, multiply this idea by how many?

EvanHurst December 15, 2012 at 3:50 am

Wow. Okay. Every time I think we've reached a new low of America's Stupidest American — and yeah, it is always Jim Hoft, outdoing himself — we somehow find a lower rung on the evolutionary ladder. We shall not worry, though, because Jim Hoft will outdo this in the next few days and we will all feel safe and sound again.

not that Dewey December 15, 2012 at 10:32 am

Order has already been restored to the Universe. See chascates's links.

Fukui-sanYesOta December 15, 2012 at 5:10 am

A challenger appears! And it's, er, Jim Hoft.

"Many pundits today may be wondering what it is about Barack Obama that is causing all of these mass shootings.

That’s a topic for another day."

chascates December 15, 2012 at 7:44 am

Another candidate, head of Gun Owners of America:

“Gun-control supporters have the blood of little children on their hands,” Larry Pratt, the group’s executive director, said. “Federal and state laws combined to insure that no teacher, no administrator, no adult had a gun at the Newtown school where the children were murdered.

viennawoods13 December 15, 2012 at 10:03 am

This, apparently from someone on Facebook:
"These students could also be trained in the use of .22 and .25 handguns at the very least. Rather than being sent to cower in a corner, they could establish a firing line. One bullet might not do much, but dozens of them would."

Biff December 15, 2012 at 10:16 am

So apparently, that "well-regulated militia" begins in kindergarten, then? Good to know.

These same asshats have teachers and parents holding bake sales to buy supplies for the classrooms. Just who is gonna pay for all the guns, ammunition and (probably!) bibles?

not that Dewey December 15, 2012 at 10:26 am

If these moron gun nuts can't prevent 20-year-olds from having temper tantrums with guns, what are they gonna do when an armed 5-year-old doesn't get his way?

chascates December 15, 2012 at 7:58 am

Jim Hoft fights to regain his crown. From last night:
What is clear, is that decades of failed liberal policy have made it difficult to force people with severe mental diseases to be treated or institutionalized. And, then we are all shocked when these same dysfunctional individuals go on a shooting rampage like we witnessed today in Newtown.

Critics will focus on gun control after today’s school massacre.
The focus should be on failed liberal policies that excuse rather than assist extremely dysfunctional individuals.

kakotechnia December 15, 2012 at 9:10 am

And what's crazy is that when someone points out that St. Reagan infamously deinstitutionalized the mentally ill, Hoft will not feel a bit embarrassed.

Wile E. Quixote December 15, 2012 at 12:17 pm

Of course not, Jim Hoft is garbage, he's shit wrapped in human skin.

Wile E. Quixote December 15, 2012 at 12:16 pm

Critics will focus on gun control after today’s school massacre.
The focus should be on failed liberal policies that excuse rather than assist extremely dysfunctional individuals.

Yes, we should stop excusing extremely dysfunctional individuals like Jim Hoft and instead lock those drooling nutcases up in a psych ward and medicate the Hell out of them.

Monsieur_Grumpe December 15, 2012 at 8:29 am
DahBoner December 15, 2012 at 8:44 am

ProteinWisdom?

Inappropriate.

How about "Coocoo for Cocoa Puffs"?

Mahousu December 15, 2012 at 9:09 am

This seems to be an attempt at a new meme: “Just after the shooting spree, they try to take the guns away from everybody who didn’t do it.”

Yes, that is so unfair. Everyone should be allowed at least one free shooting spree before their guns are taken away.

proudgrampa December 15, 2012 at 10:28 am

When I see my grandchildren this weekend, I am going to hold them very close and be grateful for the opportunity to do so.

My chest literally aches, thinking about those folks in CT who will no longer be able to do this.

Something has to change.

cletar December 15, 2012 at 10:32 am

There's a new Stupidest Person? How can this be? Did George W Bush die?

not that Dewey December 15, 2012 at 10:33 am

I thought Jeff Goldblum was pretty good in The Fly

Rebootably_Joe December 15, 2012 at 10:44 am

Well shit guys, now it's too late to talk about gun violence.

Wile E. Quixote December 15, 2012 at 12:12 pm

Mike Huckabee is proof positive that conservative Christians are worthless human garbage. As governor of Arkansas Huckabee granted clemency to convicted rapist Wayne Dumond, who then went out and raped and killed a woman. Then he granted clemency to Maurice Clemmons, a violent nutjob who years later gunned down four police officers in Washington State. The fact that this walking tub of goo whose arrogance, stupidity and bad judgment caused the deaths of five people still has a show on Fox is just one more piece of evidence that conservatives are lying, hypocritical pieces of shit and that everything they say is lies and shit as well.

sullivanst December 15, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Barf.

pdiddycornchips December 15, 2012 at 3:11 pm

When I'm elected Dictator For Life, I'll force all of the gun nutz to move to Gunlandia, a region combining Texas and Oklahoma. Guns and bullets will be free and all internet and TV will be blocked except for FoxNews and RedState.com. They can blow each other to smithereens while the rest of us point and laugh.

TribecaMike December 16, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Just give the intertubes back to the scientists already!

Spider-Jerk December 15, 2012 at 10:36 am

Make that listening to the uncensored responses of people who read his post and I'm in.

fatbob54 December 15, 2012 at 12:05 pm

These people need to suffer. Really suffer. And not with votes. Since they are incapable of empathy, they need to feel the hopeless pain of losing a child to constitutionally protected stupidity.

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