Wonkette Letters To The Editor

  point counterpoint

Today’s Wonkette Letter to the Editor comes courtesy of “Luke Pretty,” at luke0606@hotmail.com, in response to Judge Smacked Down Just For Talking Sense About Your ‘Technical’ Violent Rape:

I just read your article on your incompetent Judge Derek Johnson, and I wanted you to know you should kill yourself. Or maybe die attempting unsuccessfully to prevent yourself being raped. People like you, Nancy Grace, Judge D. Johnson are the real reasons the world hates your country and backwards people like you don’t deserve the air you breath, you fucking waste of skin.

Thanks for writing in!

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About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

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147 comments

    1. Monsieur_Grumpe

      Yeah, I'm not in a good mood either. Just remember, the assholes are still a minority. Let’s hope it stays that way.

  1. SorosBot

    So wait, did this guy think you supported the pro-rape judge? Reading comprehension: try learning it, moran.

  2. poorgradstudent

    I can't get past the Nancy Grace thing. If you hate Nancy Grace, then we're on the same side!!!

    1. Guppy

      Hotmail asks for the least information to open an account, making it preferable to Gmail or Yahoo when looking to start an anonymous/pseudonymous account.

      Or so I've heard.

    2. vulpes82

      *sheepishly raises hand* In my defense, I do have a Gmail, I just don't use it much. I've had the Hotmail account for 15 years and everything's linked to it, and I'm just can't make myself go through the bother of changing that.

      1. Swampgas_Man

        Same here. I was on Hotmail before I even had a computer in my home, it was the only real way you could get an email account from a cybercafe.

    1. PugglesRule

      He's not bad looking for someone who might be 16 or 17, but his cranium seems to be filled with dog turds.

  3. pinstripebindi

    Someone is unfamiliar with the concept of "sarcasm". Do they not have it in whatever magical fairyland that "Luke Pretty" (pretty stupid, AMIRITE??) inhabits?

    1. dinkybossetti

      Courtesy of my company's holiday luncheon today, I am enjoying some red wine at my desk. It really is helping me cope.

    2. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Started an hour ago. Villacreces Pruno 2010. Keeps me from trying to go out and find Wayne Fuckhead LaPierre.

      I'll break out the bourbon after dinner.

    3. mayor_quimby

      The sex, don't forget the sexytime. Today is a great day for drunken sex with whoever will have you, let's get out there and make some bad decisions, people! Plus, that seems to be the only way to keep up the population if this shit keeps happening. (I'm only halfway joking, sadly)

    4. GoodDogThor

      If you were contemplating stopping, yet another excuse to continue on unabated. Edmund Fitzgerald Porter for me, humming the song in my head…

  4. JackDempsey1

    Surely, this man deserves a parting gift for his incisive letter.
    Howsabout a pair of bitey panties?

    1. IncenseDebate

      Hey, you are back. Didn't you leave? Or was it someone else? I left too for a while. I'm ok now. Maybe not. This is a bad day/year/decade.

      1. Baconzgood

        You can never leave the wonkette. Its like herpies. It will go away for a bit but it always flares up from time to time.

      1. SexySmurf

        I was actually thinking of Nancy Grace. My apologies to the Jones family for the unfortunate comparison.

  5. janinedm

    If that's the same luke606 I found on twitter, then watch out. Those Brits will glass you in a second.

    1. PubOption

      I was told that, in Glasgow, it was necessary to break the glass on the upstroke. If you broke the glass against the table on the downward stroke, you would be too slow.

  6. Joshua Norton

    People like you, Nancy Grace, Judge D. Johnson

    One of these things is not like the others……

    If he/she/it is trying to make a point, it's left me as lost as Atlantis.

  7. mormos

    What a thoughtful, articulate, and well reasoned letter. It is encouraging to see that in this modern world that can often seem so divided, it is still possible to have a productive, open, and respectful discourse.

  8. sundaytrucker

    Come on, go easy on him. His heart was in the right place and that's probably the funniest thing on wonkette all week.

  9. Baconzgood

    Dear Fuck,

    Fuck you up the fucking ass with a fucking rusty as shit slege hammer that has a splintery handle. You are a cock sucking fuck that fucking pisses me off with you cunty bitching.

    Now THAT'S how you write to the editor bitchez!

  10. Mumbletypeg

    This reminds me, Editrix: aren't we overdue for an Honorary Bag of Lightly Salted Rat Dicks award? "Dear Shit fer Brains" seems almost wasted on this guy.

  11. Disassembly

    http://www.facebook.com/luke.pretty
    "I can be the ultimate first impression. You either think I'm funny and friendly or you can't stand my company, usually within the first two minutes. Which is good, because I've already judged you in that first two minutes as well. That being said, some of my closest friends I hated when I met them. Just goes to show good people are where you least expect it."

    1. Close_Read

      On Facebook, in his "Other" section, he's liked the "Remove Judge Derek Johnson" page. and on THAT page he left an anti-Johnson comment that is as colorful and insightful as his letter to our Editrix.

  12. fartknocker

    If Luke would go to the Wonkette store and look at the ladies he would realize that liberal, smart women are also really very easy on the eyes and very compassionate. But alas, Luke is in-bred goat fucker from Texas and I can reach this conclusion by the fact that I heard a similar loud mouth asshole at my local taco shack here in Austin bloviating about Christmas.

    The holidays seems to bring the worst out in these fucktard asshats.

  13. LibertyLover

    We should probably give him a pass after all, he thought Judge Johnson was stupid for his comments about rape. OTOH, the then turns around and so helpfully wishes that our beloved editrix get raped and/or killed herself.

    Can you say disconnected?

    Oh, Canada! You had me at f*cking waste of skin.

  14. Veritas78

    Sheesh!

    Well, now I don't feel so bad about calling you a drunken slut, Rebecca. Compared to this, I'm writing love letters.

    Suggestion? Set up your email so one has to buy something before one's email gets sent. It would be much more fun reading such vile things knowing the doofus just paid for a Commie Girl t-shirt.

  15. Tundra Grifter

    First of all, Editrix, I've seen your photo and waste of skin you're not!

    Then – have you also heard from Matthew, Mark and John?

  16. valthemus

    And here I was thinking all Wonketteers were people of tremendous wit and charm… the sort of people who always have a good Chesterton quote handy and can laugh at Molière (even in French) and can type 50 wpm even while holding a martini glass. Luke has shattered my conception of the typical Wonkette reader as a divine cross between Noel Coward, Dorothy Parker and Mistress Spanksalot. I'd say he should be punished, but if he actually sat through an episode of Nancy Grace's show, clearly he's into punishment.

  17. GoodDogThor

    Dear Luke,

    Thanks for playing the Email Flame game! Unfortunately for you, reading comprehension is in the license agreement, so you've been disqualified. We suggest Twitter, particularly Chuck (G)Assley's feed might be more your speed.

    Good luck,
    Wonketterati

  18. docterry6973

    Our not-a-waste-of-skin Editrix, Nancy Grace, and Judge Johnson?

    Let's all sing along: One of these things is not like the others…

  19. chascates

    In one of his books Al Franken said he replied to email like this with a stock response such as:

    Thanks for your kind email. I appreciate your opinion and wish I could make a more personal response but my busy schedule doesn't allow it…"

    When the asswad emailed again he just replied with the same response.

  20. Benny

    It always fascinates me to see people who don't possess the Sarcasm Gene…unless,you know,it's a choice maybe…like being gay!

Comments are closed.