hahaha 'planned bullyhood'

Fired Wingnut Komen Lady Karen Handel Challenges Planned Parenthood To Bitch-Slap Contest

you have no idea how handy these are for fetusesOh, early 2012, we already miss you. At least in February 2012, we were well rid of Karen Handel, the then-vice president of Susan G. Komen for the Cure. Remember Karen? She’s the delightfully (?!) wingnutty anti-choice zealot that came up with the unbelievably genius plan to strip Planned Parenthood of monies for breast cancer screening, which is kind of an odd thing for an organization dedicated to preventing breast cancer! But you never know! You could go in for a mammogram but come out with an abortion. HAPPENS ALL THE TIME PEOPLE. Now? She is talkin’ some big talk about whoopin’ Planned Parenthood director Cecile Richards’ ass, because “ladylike.”

“Planned Parenthood counted on conservative elected officials to be quiet, and they were silent,” [Handel] said. “But they didn’t count on me. Cecile Richards has absolutely no idea who she’s picked a fight with, folks.”

Oooh, big words from the woman who picked a fight with Planned Parenthood and lost her big fancy job over it. Back then, after the press and every organization under the sun beat Komen about the head for two days, they reversed course and decided that maybe it would be neat to help the poors get breast cancer screening. After the abortionplex forced the noble Komen to buckle, Handel semi-voluntarily left, whining about the great injustice perpetrated upon her all the way.

Karen Handel, the former executive at Susan G. Komen for the Cure who instigated the breast cancer charity’s plan to pull grants from Planned Parenthood, delivered a lecture to the conservative Family Research Council on Thursday that sounded more like a battle cry…

Handel, who is rumored to be considering a run for U.S. Senate in Georgia, has not dropped her fight against Planned Parenthood since a strong public backlash from Planned Parenthood supporters forced her to resign from Komen in February. She wrote a book about the incident, Planned Bullyhood, in which she calls Planned Parenthood “a bunch of schoolyard thugs,” and on Thursday, she set out to further smear the family planning provider.

First of all, “Planned Bullyhood.” This woman is obviously a literary genius.

Second, yes, Planned Parenthood was indeed a nefarious bully to Karen Handel! Horror of horrors, they actually used Komen’s dumbass move to fundraise like crazy and apply some pressure to Komen. Smells like freedom and capitalism to us! Plus, Planned Parenthood did us all a solid by getting rid of someone who gives speeches that sound like this:

“I know sometimes I’m not on the same page as folks about this, but I ask the question, who’s the real enemy?” Handel said. “Is the enemy that individual who agrees with us 99 percent of the time? I think too often in the pro-life movement, we stake out the ground of purity at the expense of really being about to advance the cause. We need to think about these fiscal hardliners. They might not care about the pro-life issue, but they care about dollars and cents … and I want them on our side, folks. We can come after their hearts and their souls tomorrow, but today I want them on our side.”

OK, truth time. Yr Wonkette has read this part approximately 100 times. Are we drunk? Probably! It could be the fact that we don’t have Red Bull in the house because SOMEONE bought some uncaffeinated nature soda instead, but the whole damn thing MAKES NO SENSE AT ALL. Is there some antiabortion nutjob-to-English dictionary we could borrow? We think it might be her new genius plan to get people that only care about fiscal issues to care about abortion, which they will do because they care about fiscal issues! This logic is TIGHT.

Also, she thinks Planned Parenthood stole the color pink.

“They literally co-opted the color pink, and for most people the color pink is associated with the fight against breast cancer. Their website, everything they did was pink, pink, pink, wrapping themselves in what I like to call a cloak of legitimacy.”

Yup, watch your back Cecile Richards! You know you’re gonna need a lot of street-fightin’ savvy to “pick a fight” with someone who thinks she owns pink.

[HuffPo]

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Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • BadKitty904

    Hmm. Ego-centric? Paranoid? Spouts gibberish?

    Could I smell the stench of a new Michelle-Bachmann in the making?

    • el_donaldo

      We'll know when she claims Planned Parenthood is a Muslim conspiracy to abort Christian babies.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      She certainly has formative crazy eyes.

      • not that Dewey

        GAH! She looks uncannily like NM Gov Susana Martinez. Is there some hitherto undisclosed wingnut lady cloning factory?

        • HistoriCat

          It's right next to the secret headquarters under a volcano.

          • not that Dewey

            mmmagma

    • Tundra Grifter

      I just got another email from Ole Crazy Eyes – asking for money. Again.

      I wrote her and said she'd been asking for months and months. Then I read the contributions went to retire her Presidential campaign debt – not mentioned in any of those emails. Those were all about her wealthy opponent and how President Obama and the Democrats didn't like her, etc., etc.

      Haven't heard back yet…

      • thatsitfortheother1

        Before email, at least you could send them a used con dom by return post.

    • FNMA

      I don't know. How gay is her husband?

    • Lascauxcaveman

      And who exactly did she blow to get the job in the first place? Could you imagine being on the Komen hiring committee and trying to explain how this one slipped through the cracks?

      • Lizzietish81

        iirc, there were suggestions that the chairwoman was looking for a way to separate Komen from Planned Parenthood and choose Handel to do that.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          LOL, so Komen starts out as a legit women's health org and morphs into a political operation out to screw those nasty pro-choicers.

          Progress!

  • el_donaldo

    Pink?! If any earrings get ripped out, you're going to see a lot of red. Blood. From the ears, I mean. Bleeding from the ripped earlobes.

  • One_who_wanders

    Never start a fight with someone who buys pink by the barrel.

    • BadKitty904

      Anyone who has to tells others how tuff they are, isn't actually tuff.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Mary Kay libel.

    • PubOption

      Mindy Meyer libel.

  • eggsacklywright

    Handel's Requiem?

    • not that Dewey

      Handel's Messiah Complex?

      • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

        She skipped the Handel and hence the flush.

        • thatsitfortheother1

          OT, does that piggy use an open tuning?

        • eggsacklywright

          Vandals musta took it.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Me thinks someone might be a little bitter they had to quit their cushy, high paying, do nothing job. Cecile Richards, daughter of Ann Richards, could kick Karen Handel's ass in any medium (jello, knife fight, roller blades, laser eye staring contest). Bring it on, Karen!

    • BadKitty904

      WHOA! This is Ann Richards' (whom i LOVE) daughter?!?!?!?

      We want a CAGE MATCH!

      • Texan_Bulldog

        Yeah, she's bad ass. Wiki says she was Nancy Pelosi's deputy chief of staff and her hubby is a labor organizer for SEIU.

      • Tundra Grifter

        Texas Steel Cage Death Match or GTFO.

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          Hell In A Cell, aka Dallas.

  • chicken_thief

    I think someone needs to get laid. Or take a fucking Midol.

    • One_who_wanders

      I'll buy the Midol but if that doesn't work I say we take up a collection to hire someone for the other possibility.

      • BadKitty904

        You're gonna have to sell a LOT o' cupcakes to raise enough cash for THAT…

    • thatsitfortheother1

      How did you know? Oh, somebody other than me…

  • ShiftyParadigm

    I had a pink cloak of legitimacy once, but the moths got to it.

    • SnarkOff

      I have a bedazzled fuchsia leopard print cloak of illegitimacy I like to wear with 6-inch platform f-me stilettos.

      • http://www.wonkette.com/ FlownOver

        Oh, Bevis! And I thought you were so butch!

  • Loch_Nessosaur

    Also, she thinks Planned Parenthood stole the color pink.

    Didn't Susan G… steal the color pink from Mary Kay first?

    • zerosumgame0005

      makes as much sense as Apple trying to patent rectangles…

      • Lascauxcaveman

        When you've got umpity gazillion dollars that sort of thing just starts to appeal to you.

    • thatsitfortheother1

      You mean Pink never got a copyright on that shit?

    • not that Dewey

      Who in turn stole it from Lady Kenmore.

    • Toomush_Infer

      Okay, doesn't pink just mean pussy, exclusively? – 'cause, like it always has, since the dawn of pussy?….

      • thatsitfortheother1

        Pink things
        Make me think things.

      • eggsacklywright

        Surrender the pink! — Carrie Fisher

      • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Rebootably_Joe

        Actually, the color for pussy cancer is teal, go figure.

    • shelwood46

      I'm pretty sure pink was invented by the Color Kittens. I do not recall it existing until I read that book. In other news, contractions were not invented until 1970 because I never saw them in any books before then.

  • cheetojeebus

    Perhaps a pink jello fight is in order. btw, is there a slight resemblance to Lewinski?

    • chicken_thief

      Monica or Norman?

  • Not_So_Much

    Normally, I'd put my money on Cecile Richards all the way. But Karen Handel look so much like Dick Butkus through the shoulder and sneering parts of her physique that it's just hard to say.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    "I think too often in the pro-life movement, we stake out the ground of purity at the expense of really being about to advance the cause."

    Sounds like she knows that she's nuts. That would be a good thing, if she also knew that being nuts is a bad thing.

    • Fukui-sanYesOta

      I read that and wondered "well, what else do you have?"

      What is the cause apart from religious ideological purity? If you leave that bit out then it's surely just "we don't want women to have abortions because, uh, we don't like women"

      • BadKitty904

        "Spite" comes to mind…

    • HistoriCat

      I think she's trying to sell the idea of allying with the "taxes are bad" Republican sect. After all, you don't want anti-abortion purity to interfere with getting a Koch-approved politician elected – even if that pol is a little squishy on the abortion issue.

  • freakishlywrong

    Suck my pink, you authoritarian, bullying wingnut.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Planned Parenthood are a bunch of bullies — I mean, who picks a fight with deranged unemployed people?

  • Terry

    "Oooh, big words from the woman who picked a fight with Planned Parenthood and lost her big fancy job over it. Back then, after the press and every organization under the sun beat Komen about the head for two days, they reversed course and decided that maybe it would be neat to help the poors get breast cancer screening. After the abortionplex forced the noble Komen to buckle, Handel semi-voluntarily left, whining about the great injustice perpetrated upon her all the way."

    A whole bunch of companies switched their affiliation and donations over to other less political charities, as well. Charities that put more of the money toward prevention and research as opposed to big salaries and travel.

    Handel is following the wingnut playbook fairly closely. She took a major crap on a national stage and smeared it all over herself and an organization, left the organization, wrote a quickie book, and is now on a talking tour.

    • BadKitty904

      Beats workin' for a living…

    • One_who_wanders

      "wrote" a book.

    • not that Dewey

      She took a major crap on a national stage and smeared it all over herself

      She's like the GG Allin of Wingnut grifters. Perhaps she'll follow suit and die of her own self-inflicted toxicity.

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    Put her in a cage match with that Gulnara minx, then we'll see who's really earned her colors.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    When people don't shoot me with bullets 99% of the time, I don't mind when the 1% occupies my pre-frontal lobe.

  • PeaceWithHonor

    These people. If Halliburton could profit, abortions would be mandatory.

    • flipdraw

      Wisdoms from my mom: If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Apocryphally, that quote came from a conversation Gloria Steinem had with an NYC cabbie.

  • Barbara_

    I took the twins for a mammogram last night and the whole place looked like a bad marriage between Ikea and the Susan G Komen folks with pink ribbons as far as the eye could see. The reception chick told me that I could keep the pink ribbon pen I signed off with. I just put it back and the desk and left.

    • BadKitty904

      So. Their colors are Blush and Bashful?

      • Barbara_

        Yes, and I got me a slice of bleeding armadillo cake on the way out.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Mrs. weejee did too this week. She said they should re-design the machine so that it's appearance was more honest.

  • http://www.marionstein.net Caradeloca

    While no one ever went broke underestimating the conservative appetite for self-pity, I'm pretty sure this attempt to co-op the bullying, will lead to a backlash (with votes) even bigger than attempts at Republican attempts at voter "reform."

  • not that Dewey

    Was she able to offer any evidence of this "schoolyard thuggery", apart from a life-saving non-profit's struggle to keep their mission alive?

    • BadKitty904

      thuggery = "they didn't do what I told them to do"

  • freakishlywrong

    Oh, and you people are not "pro-life", you're anti-woman.

    • glasspusher

      Yeah, and after the kid is born, they're complaining about sluts having too many babbies.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Karen Handel is probably going to regret that accusation of co-opting the color pink when she finds herself surrounded 24/7 by an army of Code Pink members.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    You could go in for a mammogram but come out with an abortion. HAPPENS ALL THE TIME PEOPLE.

    This exact thing happened to me, one day. I was walking down the street, and saw a radiology clinic, and said, "Gee, maybe I could use a mammogram?"

    Next thing I know, I'm lying drunk in a puddle of my own vomit in the gutter.

    That's the last time I go into "Clancy's Bar and Grill, And Radiology Clinic For Mammograms and Surprise Abortions"

    TRUE STORY!

  • mavenmaven

    What a boob.

    • BadKitty904

      *applauds*

      • thatsitfortheother1

        Had to be said.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    It could be the fact that we don’t have Red Bull in the house because SOMEONE bought some uncaffeinated nature soda instead

    I blame Newell.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Worst version of Handel's (Self proclaimed) Messiah ever.

  • friendlyskies

    I thought the pinko-commie socialists owned the color pink (um, it's right in our name), and Komen stole it from us. I smell a lawsuit.

  • http://kittenbomb.wordpress.com kittenbomb

    Cage match my ass.

    It's a dance off or nothing! Cabbage patch her to death, Cecile.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      No no! Steve "Klan" Crowder has demanded an MMA-style cage match with the union dude who kicked his ass yesterday. This would make a great undercard!

      • BadKitty904

        I wager 300 quatloos on the ol' Union dude!

  • glasspusher

    Classy broad.

  • glasspusher

    Did she take whining lessons from Romney?

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    She's been hanging out with Ginny Thomas waaaay too long.

  • freakishlywrong

    I'm surprised Cecile hasn't noted that Handel was born with a silver zygote in her mouth.

  • flipdraw

    Karen Handel was emblematic of the political scene in Georgia, a big part of the reason I got the hell out. Georgia didn't need a 2010 election to start rolling out the scary. She got to enforcer the photo-ID-to-vote law way back when, and then apparently lost her bid for governor due to not sufficiently hating teh ghey, until she did, but too late, LOLz.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      my 'in-laws' (mr. fuflans and i live in sin of course) are dems in marietta (along with ttommy a rare breed). they festoon all their vehicles with bamz / dem paraphernalia. i cannot count the number of times mr fuflans tiny 65 year old mom has been verbally assaulted for her political views.

      of course, whenever WE go down, we wear ALL our bamz attire. as i noted yesterday on the union thread, i positively relish confrontation.

  • glasspusher

    Translation: "As soon as you get your foot off my face, I'm gonna hurt you, girl!"

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    "Planned Bullyhood"

    That is the real crime here. That a publisher somewhere accepted this title and unleashed it on the marketplace.

    Say, you know who *else* was accused of reckless writing?

    • not that Dewey

      Giordano Bruno?

    • eggsacklywright

      Banksy?

  • TootsStansbury

    "Enemy"?

  • LibertyLover

    Cat Fight!

  • Goonemeritus

    Well I guess she is dropping that whole this isn’t a partisan issue or an attack on Planned Parenthood thing. Turns out it was a partisan issue after all so maybe the takeaway should be if you start a fight and you get your ass kicked maybe you should just STFU.

  • FakaktaSouth

    I cannot say anything about this, because the things I am wishing on this woman are wretched and horrible and sad and terrible and are making me very very happy and I don't want for all y'all to know how evil I am. But boy oh boy am I thinking stuff.

    • BadKitty904

      In re: "things" – you forgot "well-earned"…

      • FakaktaSouth

        Oh hells yeah. ANY bitch who would be so up her own ass as to think her bullshit is more important than one of the best things women (poor and otherwise) have going for them…well, I just wish she could be shown the errors of her ways through personal experience is all.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          "Bless her little heart…"

    • http://sciencekick.blogspot.com valthemus

      It's the thought that counts.

    • woolmyn

      But that's what we love about you!

  • LibertyLover

    Also, she thinks Planned Parenthood stole the color pink.

    “They literally co-opted the color pink, and for most people the color pink is associated with the fight against breast cancer…"

    Someone needs to tell her that the "Right to Life" movement co-opted that saying from the Anti-Death Penalty movement.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Sort of like how Oprah stole The Color Purple. I'm talking Oscar material, here, people.

    • Lizzietish81

      "Choose life"? Actually about over coming drug abuse.

  • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

    "we stake out the ground of purity at the expense of really being about to advance the cause" = "Is it in?"

    This logic is TIGHT!

    • FNMA

      "Just the tip."

      — Sterling Archer

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    Handel, who is rumored to be considering a run for U.S. Senate in Georgia,

    Has anyone else noticed that suddenly "running for the Senate" has become an integral part of any wingut's 12 step program to complete dumbfuckery?

    • thatsitfortheother1

      Not even the decency to run for a lowly House seat first.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        That's for the little people. 100 is a much nicer number than 535.

    • Theywontlisten

      It's right up there with "Planning to attend Community College"

  • southernboyman

    I likes me the pink, not the stink.

    • thatsitfortheother1

      That's what too much evolution will do to you.

  • LibrarianX

    Someone is mistaking the trees for the forest. Shouldn't this be about breast cancer?

  • walterhwhite

    Georg Friedrich Handel is running for the Senate? Music for all!

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    “They literally co-opted the color pink, and for most people the color pink is associated with the fight against breast cancer…"

    Nice try, toots. Except it's more like you're former boss obviousy "co-opted" pink from Funny Face.

    Think pink! think pink! when you shop for summer clothes.
    Think pink! think pink! if you want that quel-que chose.
    Red is dead, blue is through,
    Green's obscene, brown's taboo.
    And there is not the slightest excuse for plum or puce
    —or chartreuse.

  • http://sciencekick.blogspot.com valthemus

    "She wrote a book about the incident, Planned Bullyhood, in which she calls Planned Parenthood 'a bunch of schoolyard thugs'…"

    Are you thinking what I'm thinking? "MEAN GIRLS II: Surrender the Pink"
    Call Tina Fey! Get that gal a-typin'!

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    "She wrote a book about the incident, Planned Bullyhood, in which she calls Planned Parenthood 'a bunch of schoolyard thugs'…"

    Boy, that sets the irony alarum bells to clanging. One of the Heathers calling someone else a schoolyard thug.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    “I know sometimes I’m not on the same page as folks about this, but I ask the question, who’s the real enemy?” Handel said. “Is the enemy that individual who agrees with us 99 percent of the time? I think too often in the pro-life movement, we stake out the ground of purity at the expense of really being about to advance the cause. We need to think about these fiscal hardliners. They might not care about the pro-life issue, but they care about dollars and cents … and I want them on our side, folks. We can come after their hearts and their souls tomorrow, but today I want them on our side.”

    i think the translation you're looking for here is 'the president is black".

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    oh and no, i don't:

    early 2012, we already miss you

    i wouldn't go thru that election campaign again if you gave me a job with nate silver.

  • DahBoner

    If only these women could BULLY poor women into not having abortions, we could have MORE UNWANTED CHILDREN and then 20 years later THE CRIME RATE GOES UP…

  • MrsConclusion

    I like to call it the cloak of legitimacy, too. But I don't, because I'm not an asshole. But that's me! YMMV.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    Well, bully for her!

  • bikerlaureate

    Trix, it's a huge relief that you didn't grok the "real enemy" word soup, because I didn't either – and suddenly hitting a quote that confusing can make me start to wonder if I've had a little stroke.

  • bravo_sierra

    If you're going to get picky about it, lady parts are like 80% pink while breasts are only like 5 to 10% pink.

  • Lizzietish81

    Oh yes Karen, PLEASE try to out bitch the ladies at Planned Parenthood. They got you fired, made a fuck ton of money off of your idiocy and showed the public what a farce Komen is without breaking a sweat.

    They've been fighting this battle for a century, against politicians and anti choice terrorists. You? Are merely a mid afternoon snack.

  • christianmuslin

    Does she have a position, verbal not physical, on the man with the heated screwdriver?

  • Mittaplasia

    Rats! All they have is the 30-count abortion bags and my coupon is for the 120-count. My luck is the worst.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    If only the Koch Brothers would pay Steven Crowder or another Breitbartian to start a fight with some old lady at a Plan Parenthood clinic, we would see their real colors (Red, not Pink, am I right?).

  • jello_mold

    One of the many things I appreciated at the Avon Breast Care Center at SFGH was NO FUCKING PINK.

    Komen is just another grift designed to line the pockets of executives gold brickers who pose and dress up.

  • ttommyunger

    Being a resident of the Great Sovereign State of Dumfuckistan, I know Handel well. She is a First-Class Gold-Plated Cunt.

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Rebootably_Joe

    So which is more ridiculous, someone from the fucking Komen Foundation complaining that somebody else is acting like they practically have a trademark on the color pink, or the fact that in so complaining about someone else using the recognized color associated with breast cancer, said person is literally acting like the fucking Komen Foundation has a trademark on the color pink.

  • drbill0620

    A little cranky, are we, Miss Karen? Just a bit, I'd say.

  • drbill0620

    And one more thing, Karen. Take the trash out to the dumpster on your wait out, will ya?