REMEMBER THE ALLAH-MO!  10:50 am December 14, 2012

Investigation Looks for ‘Muslim Bias’ in Texas Schools, Finds Christian Bias Instead (So It’s Not Biased, Of Course)

by Doktor Zoom

First the Muslims started taking over our schools...and now...they're bringing their little Ponies!Anyone who thinks that school districts aren’t responsive to community concerns should talk to district and school board members of the Irving, Texas, Independent School District. When they received a clearly insane chain email claiming that a curriculum used in the schools was “INDOCTRINATING ISLAM,” they didn’t just delete it and go back to looking at porn and forwarding jokes about Barack Obama, no siree — they promptly demanded an investigation to see if their textbooks really were packed full of Islamist propaganda. You will be relieved to know that a 72-page report by the organization that provides the curriculum to the schools found that, instead of Muslim bias, the curriculum is actually far more biased toward Christianity, just the way Jesus and Thomas Jefferson wanted it to be.

For some reason, administrators were deeply concerned by a late-November email rant from some loon named Ginger Russell, so they wanted to look into whether the district’s online social studies curriculum, CSCOPE, is full of communist pro-Muslim anti-American propaganda. And you can see why the email was credible — it even linked to this very convincing Tea Party webpage, which doesn’t appear the least bit unhinged.

Texislam Panic

In addition to suggesting that CSCOPE claimed that Clara Barton founded the Red Crescent as well as the Red Cross, the email (a version of which has made it to Facebook) also accused Texas teachers of telling students that the Boston Tea Party was a “terrorist act.” (Here’s the offending lesson, from 2010 — it actually suggests that the British would have seen the Tea Party as terrorism, while the colonists would have seen it as civil disobediance. Nuance is scary!)

After reassurances from the group that administers CSCOPE failed to quell the fears of an Irving school trustee, the superintendent asked them to address the board at its December 10 meeting. As the Dallas Morning News explains, the group’s director went out of her way to subject the curriculum to the toughest available inquisitor:

The director, Jan Moberly, said she hired a “very socially and fiscally conservative” former social studies teacher who “watches Glenn Beck on a regular basis” to seek out any Islamic bias in CSCOPE.

“I asked her to look for anything she would consider the least bit controversial,” Moberly told the board. That entailed reading through every textbook and cross referencing each religious reference with the CSCOPE guidelines.

Talk about your buried ledes! They found a Glenn Beck fan who could type a report without USING ALL CAPS!!!! And so, after the board opened its meeting with a prayer “in Jesus’ name” (take that, ACLU!), Moberly gave a 30-minute report accompanied by a 72-page handout, which listed “every religious reference in the CSCOPE curriculum, from kindergarten to high school.” How’s this for some surprise results?

Christianity got twice as much attention in the curriculum as any other religion. Islam was a distant second.

- The Red Crescent and Boston Tea Party reference mentioned in the email were nowhere in CSCOPE’s curriculum, although they may have been in the past. [2010, as we noted above -- Dok Z]

- If there was any Islamic bias in CSCOPE it was “bias against radical Islam.”

So sorry, Texas! Looks like maybe the government schools aren’t pushing radical Islam after all. But then again, how do we know that the curriculum is biased enough against Islam?

[ThinkProgress / Dallas Morning News]

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{ 161 comments }

Barbara_ December 14, 2012 at 10:51 am

Ginger's a bimbo.

Oblios_Cap December 14, 2012 at 10:56 am

Newell?

actor212 December 14, 2012 at 11:03 am

Got her number?

Beowoof December 14, 2012 at 11:24 am

With the brain of dildo.

LibertyLover December 14, 2012 at 10:53 am

I never got to bring a pink cartoon pony or a real pony to class when I went to school in Texas a million years ago. On the other hand, I didn't have a pony.

chascates December 14, 2012 at 10:55 am

The few times I've traveled to the east from Texas people asked me if I have a horse. I had to reply no, but I've both snorted and shot up some on occasion.

Bad idea, folks. I got Hep C but finally cleared the virus. Kids, stick with pot, mushrooms, and quality alcohol.

freakishlywrong December 14, 2012 at 10:57 am

I'm still not taking my flying car to work either. Sucks.

TootsStansbury December 14, 2012 at 11:02 am

I think in this case it would be your flying carpet.

LibertyLover December 14, 2012 at 11:04 am

I know, right? I always wanted to walk the dog on a space-age conveyer belt, too.

actor212 December 14, 2012 at 11:04 am

A few of us were drug mules, so I claim an exception

Pat_Pending December 14, 2012 at 2:12 pm

I was a drag mule once. It's hard to find a big hat that'll fit over the ears.

Mittaplasia December 14, 2012 at 11:27 am

No ponies for me as a child either, but my pet name for my sweetie is Mister Ed.

LibertyLover December 14, 2012 at 11:48 am

I loved that show!

Doktor Zoom December 14, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Funny, I had a girlfriend who used the same phrase, but just for part of me.

Mittaplasia December 14, 2012 at 12:37 pm

Good horse sense, eh?

LibertyLover December 14, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Why the long face, then? ;-)

elgin_pelican December 14, 2012 at 11:31 am

"I hate anyone who had a pony." – Jerry Seinfeld

HistoriCat December 14, 2012 at 12:02 pm

I didn't have a pony

Obviously your parents just didn't love you.

Biff December 14, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Glocks are the new pink ponies, apparently.

LibertyLover December 14, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Sad, but true.

chascates December 14, 2012 at 10:53 am

Well, it's always because of someone from the Middle East.

kittensdontlie December 14, 2012 at 11:33 am

It is lucky that the US of America only has a Middle West, otherwise the Wingtards would get so confused.

hagajim December 14, 2012 at 10:54 am

I can't believe they wasted perfectly good taxpayer money on this. Didn't someone from the district already look through the fucking curriculum. Talk about wasteful.

deanbooth December 14, 2012 at 10:55 am

"REMEMBER THE ALLAH-MO!" is comedy gold!

LibertyLover December 14, 2012 at 10:59 am

I see what you did there. ;-)

noodlesalad December 14, 2012 at 11:00 am

Our martyrs Daud Bin Crockett and Dan El Boon shall never be forgotten.

actor212 December 14, 2012 at 11:07 am

JAYMES bin BO HEE LIBEL!

HistoriCat December 14, 2012 at 12:03 pm

I prefer to remember the ala mode. With delicious pie mmmm.

freakishlywrong December 14, 2012 at 10:55 am

Jesus Christ on a velociraptor, Texas.

LibertyLover December 14, 2012 at 10:58 am

Wait, What? I thought he was on a cracker.

FakaktaSouth December 14, 2012 at 11:10 am

What about Jesus Christ on crutches?
I don't know how that became a thing I say or even how that would work, with the (blasphemy blasphemy blasphemy) stigmatic injuries to his crutch holders, but it still makes me laugh. I am going to hell. Today. I can feel it.

LibertyLover December 14, 2012 at 11:17 am

You'll be in good company. Everyone here at Wonkette is going there. It will be a blast.

Toomush_Infer December 14, 2012 at 12:43 pm

Not me….I'm not goin' anywhere….I'm tired of all this goin' somewhere stuff…

CommieLibunatic December 14, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Liberals don't die. We just go to Hell and regroup… or am I thinking of Spartan-II cyborgs? Eh, whatever.

TootsStansbury December 14, 2012 at 11:24 am

I have it on good authority that Jesus is on a tortilla.

Mittaplasia December 14, 2012 at 12:41 pm

He also graced a grilled cheese sandwich with his presence and it sold on ebay for about 15K . It must have been that cheese I really like.

Blueb4sinrise December 14, 2012 at 11:03 am

I see a sectarian brouhaha in the making.

Lot_49 December 14, 2012 at 11:18 am

"Brouhaha"—isn't that an Arabic word?

Oblios_Cap December 14, 2012 at 10:56 am

The director, Jan Moberly, said she hired a “very socially and fiscally conservative” former social studies teacher who “watches Glenn Beck on a regular basis” to seek out any Islamic bias in CSCOPE.

There is just so much wrong in that sentence. The mind boggles.

One_who_wanders December 14, 2012 at 11:06 am

I am stunned that this person didn't manage to find pro-Islam bias.

CommieLibunatic December 14, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Word, considering they seem able to find Jihad Crescents in everything from 9/11 memorials to passing clouds.

SayItWithWookies December 14, 2012 at 10:56 am

Irving? Isn't that the home of the Irving Cowboys? No wonder they choked in the clutch.

PubOption December 14, 2012 at 12:46 pm

They still have a practice facility in Irving. The stadium has been moved to Arlington (a bit further west), in part because the citizens of Irving were not willing to shut down public transit in the city, and divert the transit tax to building a new monument to Jerry Jones' ego. As an aside, the site in Irving which Jerry was hoping to use was previously used to make concrete sewer pipes.

bureaucrap December 14, 2012 at 10:56 am

And don't forget the explicit endorsement of the Flying Spaghetti Monster in the sentence "Colonists had a wide-ranging diet."

Mittaplasia December 14, 2012 at 12:43 pm

That's aPASTAsy!

flipdraw December 14, 2012 at 10:56 am

Shutterfly sadz for her amiga Applejack's Tex-ucation.

noodlesalad December 14, 2012 at 10:58 am

Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Mujahideen…

JustPixelz December 14, 2012 at 10:58 am

If Texas wants to investigate what people say in emails, they should start with why Dubya's penis enlargement didn't work. The consequences of that to America are incalculable.

ChillBill December 14, 2012 at 10:59 am

"Tea Party Command Center"

WHAT
THE
FUCK.

Mumbletypeg December 14, 2012 at 11:26 am

Oh that was my first thought, too.

I still don't know what to think.

valgal2342 December 14, 2012 at 11:32 am

Oh you know, the one made from KKK white sheets and tacky living room furniture out there behind the Walmart.

billy_reuben December 17, 2012 at 8:42 am

I was picturing a fort made out of the cushions from the sofa

bikerlaureate December 14, 2012 at 11:55 am

Dick Armey's usually more subtle.

Not unlike a deadly snake.

fuflans December 14, 2012 at 4:53 pm

tea party command center just got pwnd by barack obama's dashboard.

nounverb911 December 14, 2012 at 10:59 am

Irving Texas? I thought he was Jewish.

LibertyLover December 14, 2012 at 11:09 am

And I thought he lived in Berlin.

GoodDogThor December 14, 2012 at 11:20 am

They called him Irving. Big Irving. Big, short Irving. Big, short, fat Irving. The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the West.

hat tip to Dr. Demento

swordfis December 14, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Oiving alreddy paid his texas, the schlammazl!

SoBeach December 14, 2012 at 10:59 am

No other state is prouder of their ignorance and stupidity. Don't mess with Texas.

kittensdontlie December 14, 2012 at 11:27 am

Texas is a hot mess, which is not meant in any good way.

freakishlywrong December 14, 2012 at 11:00 am

The "Tea Party Command Center" is just where they park all their Rascals.

TootsStansbury December 14, 2012 at 11:05 am

And the stockpile of weapons and Cheetos.

TootsStansbury December 14, 2012 at 11:22 am

I can't stop laughing at the fact that my iPad recognized the word "Cheetos" and capitalized it. But then again I have some cruddy flu thing so everything is silly right now.

actor212 December 14, 2012 at 11:08 am

The Denny's parking lot?

Goonemeritus December 14, 2012 at 11:01 am

On a similar note I am very concerned that my local butcher is promoting radical Veganism.

kittensdontlie December 14, 2012 at 11:23 am

My garbage man is promoting recycling, which is an afront to consumptive capitalism and all things US America.

shelwood46 December 14, 2012 at 1:03 pm

You laugh, but our garbage guy is a real stickler for this. He hand empties our dumpster, and if he even suspects there are cans, bottles or paper in a bag he won't take it. Also, he leaves a snippy note. We don't make that mistake anymore.

deanbooth December 14, 2012 at 11:01 am

Can we call this scandal Investi-gate?

HistoriCat December 14, 2012 at 12:06 pm

Get with the times – it should be Investigate-ghazi.

Wilcoxyz December 14, 2012 at 11:01 am

If these Texas Teatards want to move to Louisiana, we have voucher-funded charter schools that promise not to teach science and have cute pictures of dinosaurs playing outside the Garden of Eden. Ask Bobby Jindal for a free brochure.

JohnyEdge December 14, 2012 at 11:38 am

From your mouth to God's ears. If the 10 or 15 million Texas Teatards just took you up on that, this place would almost be livable.

–a sad exiled liberal ministering to the lost minds of Texas.

HistoriCat December 14, 2012 at 12:07 pm

That would raise the IQ of both states.

CindynEncinitas December 14, 2012 at 12:54 pm

I have perfectly sane, educated cousins in Texas who are actually totally down with the ideas in that email. I don't know what they're drinking over there, but I cannot even be their Facebook friend because of the ugly arguments I got in within, oh, 10 minutes of friending them.

JustPixelz December 14, 2012 at 11:01 am

When I get emails with lots of capitalization, questions marks and exclamation points, i say "that's outrageous … if it's true". Then I time myself to see how long it takes to debunk using The Google Machine. Usually it's one minute.

WING NUTS REFUSE TO SPEND ONE MINUTE TO FIND OUT IF THEIR CRAP IS TRUE!!!!! DO THEY HATE AMERICA????

Tundra Grifter December 14, 2012 at 11:24 am

Has anyone here ever – EVER ? – gotten a left-wing crazy chain Internets email?

Oblios_Cap December 14, 2012 at 11:02 am

It appears there was nothing about gubernatorial candidate Kinky Freidman in the course, since only christian and mooslim references were found.

The persecution of the Jooz continues!

kakotechnia December 14, 2012 at 11:18 am

Will we never recognize the crucial cultural contributions of the jewboy?

Toomush_Infer December 14, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Hey, I'm tired of jewboys being more important than swedes – we're just as egotistically self-indulgent!….

SayItWithWookies December 14, 2012 at 11:02 am

“I asked her to look for anything she would consider the least bit controversial,” Moberly told the board. That entailed reading through every textbook and cross referencing each religious reference with the CSCOPE guidelines.

See, the fact that there are textbooks would've tipped me off that the WHY ARE THERE NO TEXTBOOKS? issue might've been poorly researched, obviating the need for further study.

Lot_49 December 14, 2012 at 11:15 am

Everybody knows textbooks, like homework, are inimical to real learning. It's okay if the school system just buys one copy of the book and has the teachers hand out photocopied pages from it, though.

Lascauxcaveman December 14, 2012 at 11:02 am

the British would have seen the Tea Party as terrorism, while the colonists would have seen it as civil disobediance.

When I use the bathroom before my wife, she considers it a terrorism; I consider it civil disobedience.

Rayn_And December 14, 2012 at 11:03 am

Well…Now that that's taken care of, Texas education should be just about back to its usually high standard.

WhatTheHolyHeck December 14, 2012 at 11:03 am

Next on their agenda is a critically important email from Nigeria about a potential windfall in the millions.

Oblios_Cap December 14, 2012 at 11:13 am

I've already received mine from Ghaddafi's widow!

Biel_ze_Bubba December 14, 2012 at 11:03 am

"The director, Jan Moberly, said she hired a “very socially and fiscally conservative” former social studies teacher who “watches Glenn Beck on a regular basis” to seek out any Islamic bias in CSCOPE. "

Nice to know that Texas school boards insist on this strict set of qualifications.

bikerlaureate December 14, 2012 at 11:57 am

I have a wild hunch that the very socially and fiscally conservative former social studies teacher was not blah or brown, so of course they were credible.

Toomush_Infer December 14, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Nice to see edumacation dollars going where they sposed to…

actor212 December 14, 2012 at 11:03 am

Ponies in school?

I AM OUTRAGEDGED!

nounverb911 December 14, 2012 at 11:09 am

Just think of them as NY subway rats on steroids.

actor212 December 14, 2012 at 11:20 am

You mean more steroids? Or better steroids? We talking Lance Armstrong steroids or the Dallas Cowboys defensive line?

criticaldragon December 15, 2012 at 12:49 am

They're not just ponies, they're secret Muslim Al Qaeda operatives, here to subvert America and replace our school lunches with halal sharia salt licks! LOL!

; )

ManchuCandidate December 14, 2012 at 11:03 am

I always find it amusing that those who never read history books are the ones who condemn them repeatedly.

Lot_49 December 14, 2012 at 11:14 am

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. Those who never learned about it are ignorant fuckwads.

ButthurtWingers2012 December 14, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Oh, I know what you mean…what really bothers me is the stupid shits deliberately misread history texts because they cannot cope with ya know…nuance. They think everything in history (and life) should be divided into Manichean categories of good vs. evil and anytime a white man who isn't a socialist or a member of the Communist Party or a trade unionist….or is educated and has a family tree which forks is portrayed in a less than heroic light that's evidence of "bias" and "hatred for 'Merika"! which carries unfortunate implications and then some; especially considering those same tea tards are less than how do you say…Manichean about whether the KKK or the South in the Civil War was bad or good. Of course I've long suspected (often confirmed) that if you take one of these right wing dildos outside of places where "they" (us) might hear them, they are perfectly happy to talk about how good the KKK was and how fighting to preseve slavery was right…

Terry December 14, 2012 at 11:04 am

I have to say that the comments on that Dallas Morning News article are truly fabulous.

Oblios_Cap December 14, 2012 at 11:20 am

I agree.

Loch_Nessosaur December 14, 2012 at 11:04 am

Everything is bigger in Texas including teh stupidz.

TootsStansbury December 14, 2012 at 11:05 am

Muslim bias. In Texas schools. My brain hurts.

EatsBabyDingos December 14, 2012 at 11:05 am

Two big signs on the office door:

TEA PARTY COMMAND CENTER and underneath

If you sprinkle when you tinkle
Please be neat and wipe the seat.

Mittaplasia December 14, 2012 at 11:23 am

The tea party colonel of the urinal gets one of the double-wide stalls. Rank has its privileges.

HistoriCat December 14, 2012 at 12:09 pm

What – no "Mom – I'm busy. Please keep out!"?

EatsBabyDingos December 14, 2012 at 12:24 pm

I was going to put a third that said if you poop, you would need to note the date and time on a form for the Log Log, like the guy on Capitol Hill a few years back, but that would have been obscure.

HistoriCat December 14, 2012 at 12:42 pm

Insider Wonkette references are ALWAYS welcome!

Blueb4sinrise December 14, 2012 at 11:07 am
Chet Kincaid_ December 14, 2012 at 11:08 am

What kind of animal is that drawing, anyway? Horses don't sit down like cats! There is no pony with a cute pug mug, either.

James Michael Curley December 14, 2012 at 11:31 am

But donkeys and mules do.
How long has this "My Little Pony (sic)" scam been going on?

Doktor Zoom December 14, 2012 at 11:35 am

When Lauren Faust rebooted the TV series, the ponies became far more stylized, anthropomorphic, and cartoony — with far less worries about the characters looking like actual horses, or for that matter, even hewing too closely to the toy line. (This is a huge improvement over previous iterations of the MLP cartoon, which are pretty much unwatchable — like so many product-based cartoons, they're little more than 20-minute toy ads where the main goal was to get as much product onscreen as possible). The current series works because it was made by people who give a damn about cartoons, and it shows.

"My Little Anthropomorphic, Highly-Stylized, Only-Vaguely-Horselike Pony" didn't test so well as a title, however.

I think Fluttershy looks confused because she has no idea what that long-nosed thing over there is.

Chet Kincaid_ December 14, 2012 at 12:45 pm

So Lauren Faust is the Frank Miller of Ponydom? You're in too deep, Dok!

PubOption December 14, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Lauren Faust? If I believed in Satan, my prejudices would be confirmed.

GeorgiaBurning December 14, 2012 at 11:10 am

Anything to get out of Al Gebra class

Beowoof December 14, 2012 at 11:33 am

There is the problem they didn't check the math class, Algebra is a Muslim plot to make Texan's brains hurt.
http://fourriverscharter.org/projects/Inventions/

Lot_49 December 14, 2012 at 11:13 am

Have to complain about abuse of the word "terrorism." When activists burn down an under-construction exurban apartment complex to protest urban sprawl, no one is "terrorized," so the crime is arson, not "eco-terrorism." Likewise, when the fake Indians dumped a few crates of tea in Boston Harbor, no one experienced terror. So let's stop using "terrorism" as a synonym for "shit we don't like."

kakotechnia December 14, 2012 at 11:14 am

And in all cases, atheists are shit out of luck.

DixvilleCrotch December 14, 2012 at 11:15 am

Is there really a pony for every occasion?

Anyway, creeping sharia is a real thing, my neighbor is growing some on his trellis.

kittensdontlie December 14, 2012 at 11:52 am

Emm..that's a pony skirt for every occasion…and can you get me a starter from that vine? I want to take a try at making muslin.

flipdraw December 14, 2012 at 11:15 am

And my own sadz, sorry Fluttershy.

Mittaplasia December 14, 2012 at 11:16 am

I remember the Texas tourism commercial from the 1970's…"It's a whole 'nother country." It scared the living shit out of me and my friends; what a buzz-kill!

Mumbletypeg December 14, 2012 at 11:17 am

If these Christians relaxed a little, re-evaluated their priorities
and invested a fraction of the time they've been identifying specks in bogeymens' eyes
into refining their own ministry and foot-washing whatnot and self-humbling
(as their savior invoked them to be),
perhaps they'd have less trouble distinguishing problems with other faiths from problems with their own.

BaldarTFlagass December 14, 2012 at 11:18 am

I notice no mention of the Jews, but I guess that's to be expected, since they run the world and would prefer you didn't know that. Kinky Friedman is an outlier.

Rufus T. Firefly December 14, 2012 at 11:18 am

If I ever decide to move to Texas, someone please shoot me.

calliecallie December 14, 2012 at 11:34 am

I contemplated spending my college Junior year in Texas, years ago, but instead chose Michigan.

In hindsight, maybe I just should have done the Europe thing like everybody else.

SuspectedDemocrat December 14, 2012 at 12:23 pm

It's Texas, you don't have to ask twice.

Rufus T. Firefly December 14, 2012 at 4:10 pm

It's a legitimate murder defense in Texas that "he needed killin'."

smokefilledroommate December 14, 2012 at 11:19 am

Does this school district wire a lot of money to Nigeria?

dadanarchistmk2 December 14, 2012 at 11:20 am

Totally off topic (well, I guess it also includes Idiots v. Reality) but this promises to be full of win:

Prof. Michael Mann sues the National Review

Basically, noted comedian Mark Steyn compared climate scientist Michael Mann to Jerry Sandusky, and now Mann is suing him for defamation.

actor212 December 14, 2012 at 11:37 am

The writer of the Kos article did a bad job of showing how Mann was linked to Sandusky. At first, I was all like "WTF?" but then I clicked over.

Wow. I mean, wow. Steyn (On Humanity) starts the article out talking about Sandusky, then laterally arabesques to Mann's "hockey stick" graph.

Fucking Steyn (On Humanity)

Oblios_Cap December 14, 2012 at 12:17 pm

Mark "Shit" Steyn?

DocChaos December 14, 2012 at 12:44 pm

I didn't know directing a movie called "Heat" made you a climate scientist.

mavenmaven December 14, 2012 at 11:20 am

And before you know it, the kids will be demanding felafel for lunch.

calliecallie December 14, 2012 at 11:33 am

well known gateway food.

LibrarianX December 14, 2012 at 11:20 am

Christian reality is the only baseline they know – how can it be biased…? {insert sarcasm emoticon here}

BaldarTFlagass December 14, 2012 at 11:21 am

I like how in their webpage they are trying to generate fear of both a Muslim and Marxist takeover; apparently they know nothing of either. What's it gonna be? These people are really fucking stupid.

actor212 December 14, 2012 at 11:27 am

"OK, look, I don't know either, just keep an eye out for a guy with a shoe polish mustache wearing cheesecloth. That's the best I've been able to figure out."

actor212 December 14, 2012 at 11:22 am
actor212 December 14, 2012 at 11:22 am

I caught this shit from YOU??????

TootsStansbury December 14, 2012 at 11:25 am

Waaaaaah! I hate being branded the Typhoid Mary!

freakishlywrong December 14, 2012 at 11:27 am

The Typhoid Toots.

jqheywood December 14, 2012 at 11:45 am

I had Typhoon Toots once, but it passed . . .

[ducks]

Mumbletypeg December 14, 2012 at 11:24 am

Here endeth the lesson'd.

Baconzgood December 14, 2012 at 11:25 am

Unrelated to this post.

I put the spawns Christmas gifts in the trunk of the lil' lady's car last night. Leaving this morning to catch the trolly to work I saw broken glass by her car and an open trunk….. someone stole my kids Christmas!!!.

Baconz has fire shooting out of his eyes.

calliecallie December 14, 2012 at 11:36 am

Oh no! So sorry this happened.

CindynEncinitas December 14, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Who does that shit?

Baconzgood December 14, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Poopie heads.

Spider-Jerk December 14, 2012 at 11:31 am

Texan secession is looking more like a great idea with every passing news cycle.

Mittaplasia December 14, 2012 at 12:31 pm

No sneaking across our border for healthcare and no dual citizenship either, suckaz!

How can we miss 'em if they never leave?

calliecallie December 14, 2012 at 11:37 am

Your taxpayer dollars at work, Irving.

not that Dewey December 14, 2012 at 11:41 am

the British would have seen the Tea Party as terrorism, while the colonists would have seen it as civil disobediance

That's not nuance, Dok. That's Grade A Cultural Relativism. No wonder they wanted it struck from the non-existent textbook.

SuspectedDemocrat December 14, 2012 at 12:17 pm

I'm surprised an avid Glen Beck fan failed to ask the important question: Why would the British consider it terrorism? Did they learn nothing from the London subway bombings?

DahBoner December 14, 2012 at 12:05 pm

Texans are on a CCOCK diet.

They C Cock. And then…

a_pink_poodle December 14, 2012 at 12:19 pm

“bias against radical Islam”

Why that's the best kind of bias!

Mittaplasia December 14, 2012 at 12:27 pm

It started innocently enough. Kebabs on the grill, trying "hummus" because french onion dip is so, well, FRENCH, not noticing all the muslin architecture on your Camel cigarette pack, thinking the guy down the street named "Al" is one of "us" as you gaze, hypnoticed by the patterns on your Persian rug. Wake up, people!

christianmuslin December 14, 2012 at 12:31 pm

There is no god.

MrsConclusion December 14, 2012 at 12:33 pm

"Nuance is scary!"

And French!

sundaytrucker December 14, 2012 at 12:36 pm

And another thing….why does every outhouse have a half-moon on the door? Clearly this is the work of creeping sharia law.

CindynEncinitas December 14, 2012 at 12:48 pm

I wonder what they think about Timothy McVeigh? Anti-big government warrior?

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 14, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Glenn Beck must be weeping at such incompetent research.

For, if you use the Fibonacci sequence, and put each word of the text book the coresponds to a Fibonacci number into a sentence, you get:

"Islam is really really cool. Obama smokes pot and does coke with them all the time. Death to the USA, Death to the Infidels. Texas will be the seat of the new Caliphate! Be sure to drink your Ovaltine."

Pure Radical Islamic Bias!!! WHY IS THE LAME STREAM MEDIA NOT REPORTING THIS!!! Why must we get our real news from Sarah Palin's Facebook posts!

docterry6973 December 14, 2012 at 1:29 pm

You mean to tell me that school textbooks MENTION MUSLINS??!!???! If I wanted my precious snowflake to know that Muslins existed I would have told him myself. This is an outrage!

Biel_ze_Bubba December 14, 2012 at 3:43 pm

When a “very socially and fiscally conservative” former social studies teacher who “watches Glenn Beck on a regular basis” can't find any pro-Muslin bias, you know that there ain't no bias!

NinjaCat_Baba December 14, 2012 at 8:35 pm

I liked the line, "Why can't parents see the curriculum? Why are there are no textbook?"
First, teabaggers don't usually read the material because there just too dumb. Second, Texas use textbooks in thier public school???

ttommyunger December 14, 2012 at 11:35 pm

I attended elementary school in Texas in the early 50's. I don't think I've ever really gotten over it.

criticaldragon December 15, 2012 at 12:46 am

Anyone who was actually surprised by this needs to stop spending so much time at those stupid "counter Jihad" blogs.

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