JUST ANOTHER LOST CAUSE  2:39 pm December 12, 2012

Heritage Foundation Very Proud Of Its Incoherent Bondage Porn Filibuster Tumblr Message

by Doktor Zoom

We do not think this movie means what you think it means
Hey, movie fans! Remember that Robert Frank Capra classic where Jimmy Stewart saves the day by standing up and filibustering a bill he knows in his heart to be bad? Pretty dramatic stuff, and an iconic bit of Authentic American Cornball Political Sincerity. Of course, as we all sorta-kinda know, the rules for filibusters have changed, so instead of One Brave Senator standing up and reading Collected Poems of Leonard Nimoy into the record, the minority party just says “We filibuster thee” and spits three times, and that counts. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, seeing all the stalled legislation and spit covering the Senate floor, hopes to bring back Old School filibusters: You want to stop a bill, you gotta stand up and talk.

So above is the Heritage Foundation’s invocation of Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, aimed at Harry Reid’s proposal to change how filibusters work. We will now pause, class, for you to ponder what is wrong with this picture.

Oh, yeah, right. Requiring future “Mr. Smiths” to stand up and talk like in the movie will actually, uh, silence “Mr. Smith” because then he can’t bring the Senate to a halt silently anymore! Harry Reid hates free speech and wants to duct tape Jimmy Stewart’s affable corpse!

The Heritage Foundation is so proud of this image that when a reader suggested it was maybe just a little meaningless, they reblogged the comment with a smart answer:

jasencomstock: “We don’t have a case so look, a movie.”

theheritagefoundation: Sometimes the simplest examples make the best points.

Yes, especially when anyone who’s seen the movie knows that image makes no sense! We guess that the Nino Scalia School of Rhetoric is more influential than we thought!

We look forward to the Heritage Foundation’s next Tumblr post, featuring a still from the movie Bulworth to argue that Loving v. Virginia was an example of judicial overreach.

[Tumblr]

Check out Wonkette on Facebook and Twitter, and did you know that Your Wonkette has a tumblr account? Oh, and, Doktor Zoom is on Twitter, also, too.

 
Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 126 comments }

PuckStopsHere December 12, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Filibuster=silence and Rick Snyder says Right to Work is "good for workers." I am beginning to understand, now.

An Asexual Ungulate December 12, 2012 at 6:55 pm

But it's still the libruls who are fascists and who want to take us into a 1984-esque world of total repression.

Negropolis December 13, 2012 at 1:50 am

Silly, it's not called Right to Work, anymore. It's Freedom to Work, 'cause, you know, FREEDUMB!

Orwell is offering a golfclap from the Great Beyond.

BaldarTFlagass December 12, 2012 at 2:43 pm

"Sometimes the simplest examples make the best points."

Or no point at all!

Terry December 12, 2012 at 2:50 pm

The Heritage Foundation is staffed with graduates of fine institutions such as Regents University. What can you honestly expect from them?

elviouslyqueer December 12, 2012 at 3:00 pm
ManchuCandidate December 12, 2012 at 2:43 pm

But in the movie Mr Smith wasn't a fat doofus who had a Koch brothers hand up his smelly ass, wore a 3 corner hat and yell out stupid shit about Kenyans, low taxes and fluoride.

BigSkullF*ckingDog December 12, 2012 at 2:56 pm

YOU LIE!

Esteev December 12, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Real Americans Libel!

MrsConclusion December 12, 2012 at 5:43 pm

Haven't you seen the director's cut?

Negropolis December 13, 2012 at 1:53 am

It's really kind of ironic that Jimmy turned out to be a proto teabagger.

Preferred Customer December 12, 2012 at 2:43 pm

"[s]till from the movie Bulworth." Never expected to read those words.

BaldarTFlagass December 12, 2012 at 2:44 pm

What, couldn't find a pic of a bound and gagged cartoon pony, Dok?

bikerlaureate December 12, 2012 at 2:46 pm

I can't believe I'm doing this, but…

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 12, 2012 at 2:52 pm

The miracle of the Internets.

imissopus December 12, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Is there nothing it can't do?

Jus_Wonderin December 12, 2012 at 2:59 pm

It can't kill the folks that produced that "art"?

LesBontemps December 12, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Rule 34. That is all.

Caradeloca December 12, 2012 at 2:57 pm

once seen, can't be unseen.
Damn you.

bikerlaureate December 12, 2012 at 4:01 pm

bwah hah hah

Mahousu December 12, 2012 at 3:01 pm

"Found 354 relevant deviations"

I am genuinely surprised there wasn't another digit or two in that.

Doktor Zoom December 12, 2012 at 3:04 pm

I can't clop to this.

emmelemm December 12, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Neeeeiggghhhh!

gullywompr December 12, 2012 at 3:20 pm

/brohoof

BoatOfVelociraptors December 13, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Rule 34 is hard to escape.

memzilla December 12, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Oh, now it's on.

actor212 December 12, 2012 at 3:12 pm

*standing ovation*

Well done, sir!

Guppy December 12, 2012 at 3:12 pm
HogeyeGrex December 12, 2012 at 2:44 pm

The Heritage Foundation? A bunch of lying sacks of shit? Who knew?

cousinitt December 12, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Always simpletons make stupid excuses for being simple. And stupid, also and too.

DahBoner December 12, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Yes, but on the other hand, Loving v. Vagina was a bit of judicial under reach…

zippy_w_pinhead December 12, 2012 at 3:16 pm

needs moar judicial reach around…

smashedinhat December 12, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Reality? We don't need no stinking reality!

starfanglednut December 12, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Needz moar leather mask and ball gag.

LesBontemps December 12, 2012 at 2:58 pm

That's what is wrong with this picture.

zippy_w_pinhead December 12, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Mr Smith goes medieval on Washington…

calliecallie December 12, 2012 at 4:16 pm

I wish somebody would!

Negropolis December 13, 2012 at 1:58 am

The British did, once. Maybe we can call them back in.

SorosBot December 12, 2012 at 2:45 pm

I'm sure the Heritage Foundation's support for the indefensible filibuster is totally based on principal and not politics, and that if the Republicans had the Senate majority with the Democrats constantly filibustering everything they would still oppose a Republican effort to reform the filibuster rules. Right?

HogeyeGrex December 12, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Which is why Republicans never, ever threatened to break Senate rules with the "nuclear option" when Democrats had the audacity to filibuster say, a tenth of the number of judicial appointees that the current Republicans have.

SorosBot December 12, 2012 at 3:07 pm

And it's not like the media treated the filibusters by Democrats then as a horrible assault on the functioning of the Senate, but then as soon as the Dems took over the Republican filibusters didn't even get called filibusters, but just "a routine procedure requiring 60 votes", as if that was totally normal for everything.

HogeyeGrex December 12, 2012 at 3:17 pm

UPPERDOWN!!!

Rebootably_Joe December 12, 2012 at 3:37 pm

IT'S TOTALLY DEMOCRATS FAULT FOR FILIBUSTERING ROBERT BORK FOR THINGS THAT WERE TOTALLY NOT HIS JUDICIAL TEMPERMENT OR ARGUMENTS THAT WOMEN DON'T DESERVE CIVIL RIGHTS.

What ever happened to that guy, anyway?

smellypossum December 12, 2012 at 2:45 pm

"Sometimes the simplest examples make the best points."

And sometimes simpletons make no points.

Baconzgood December 12, 2012 at 2:45 pm

How about an immage from Vertigo to show what a healthy relationship is?

noodlesalad December 12, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Republicans are scared of the old "reading the phone book" filibuster technique because there's so many "ethnic" names in there now. "Abad" "Abadiano" "Abadin" "Abajo"

WHEN DO WE GET TO ADAMS?!?!?!?! AHH I GIVE UP YOUR BILL WINS!!!!!

BaldarTFlagass December 12, 2012 at 2:46 pm

And if they say "We filibuster thee" three times, the Senate goes into recess.

LesBontemps December 12, 2012 at 3:05 pm

And if they say it three times in a darkened bathroom, Larry Craig appears.

Oh all right, Larry Craig would appear in a darkened bathroom regardless.

ManchuCandidate December 12, 2012 at 2:46 pm

It's funny that these guys identify themselves as Mr Smith when they're really Mr Potter.

Botlrokit December 12, 2012 at 2:47 pm

I thought it was Smith who shut Neo up.

BaldarTFlagass December 12, 2012 at 2:57 pm

"You can't scare me with this Gestapo crap. I know my rights. I want my phone call."

"Tell me, Mr. Anderson… what good is a phone call… if you're unable to speak?"

Loch_Nessosaur December 12, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Once Jim DeMint takes over at the Heritage Foundation we won't see this level of teh stupidz anymore.

Terry December 12, 2012 at 2:51 pm

No, it will be even worse.

Esteev December 12, 2012 at 3:00 pm

I just knew you were real!

CrunchyKnee December 12, 2012 at 2:47 pm

It is rather cute that the fucktards at Heritage Foundation found an intern to run a bit of Photoshop for them, tho, too.

sullivanst December 12, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Oh look, the Heritage Foundation is saying the exact opposite of the truth again.

In other news, the sun rose in the East today.

el_donaldo December 12, 2012 at 2:48 pm

O.K. Heritage, that's a start, but if you could somehow photoshop Julie Newmar as Catwoman into that picture, then I'll be completely good.

BornInATrailer December 12, 2012 at 2:48 pm

I bet I have whined about the neutered filibuster a dozen times on these comments. I cannot wait for this to get rolled back. And I've got to imagine some Heritage Foundation members are quite embarrassed to see that BS. I mean, the right is supposed to the party of real (old white) men. To whine about actually having to, you know, filibuster when you filibuster must really shrink their nuts. Little bitty baby balls.

The silent filibuster is basically the New Coke of senate rules.

memzilla December 12, 2012 at 2:48 pm

If I want to get my political memes from movies, Heritage Foundation, I'll download Nailin' Palin.

Fred_Wertham_Jr December 12, 2012 at 2:49 pm

At least they put gaffer's tape over Jimmy's mouth instead of duck tape. That's worth half a style point.

bikerlaureate December 12, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Now they're just yanking the chain of their sycophants.

Silencing someone is accomplished by making them speak, instead of silently blocking legislation?
There's no way they can make this case, and subsequently defend it, unless they're mocking the feebleminded. Compassionately-conservatively.

HeadsIWin December 12, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Now I totally get the Jimmy Stewart appeal.

prommie December 12, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Coherence is way overrated. Why, in fact, I owe everything I have today to my incoherent ranting.

EatsBabyDingos December 12, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Heritage, where bad ideas go to be exuberantly fertilized with Koch shit.

BaldarTFlagass December 12, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Needz moar giant invisible rabbits.

Geminisunmars December 12, 2012 at 3:09 pm

So that would be "Harvey Goes to Washington"?

Lizzietish81 December 12, 2012 at 3:11 pm

How are you Mr. Wilson?

SexySmurf December 12, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Speaking of Hollywood Senators I'd like to see in bondage:

Ashley Judd Runs 4 Points Behind Mitch McConnell In Kentucky Senate Poll .

Isn't this the part of the movie where she starts getting stalked by the psychopath (in this case, played by Rand Paul).

el_donaldo December 12, 2012 at 2:53 pm

played by Rand Paul and supported by a band of his Nazi curb-stomping followers. I think you have yourself an S&M prison exploitation flick in the making, sir.

frostbitefalls December 12, 2012 at 2:51 pm

What's the safe word?

iburl December 12, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Christofascism

emmelemm December 12, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Green balloons.

Tundra Grifter December 12, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Withskey!

Lizzietish81 December 12, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Fillibuster!

HogeyeGrex December 12, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Same as always. "Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch."

mavenmaven December 12, 2012 at 3:43 pm

"no taxes", just read my lips, oh wait…

Gleem McShineys December 12, 2012 at 4:09 pm

#tcot

bikerlaureate December 12, 2012 at 8:57 pm

Gipper.

actor212 December 12, 2012 at 2:51 pm

I actually agree with Heritage, the filibuster is useful, but, um, Heritage? If you want to filibuster, put in the fucking effort, bitches.

asterixaverni December 12, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Down is up, red is purple, under is over, grass is orange, or whatever other bullshit the conservatards declare to be reality today.

actor212 December 12, 2012 at 2:52 pm

And here I was, expecting Pony Porn…

kittensdontlie December 12, 2012 at 2:52 pm

For the Heritage Foundation's next nonsensical Tumblr message, a duct-tapped Clarence Thomas could be used to represent….???

actor212 December 12, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Food safety from pubes?

Lizzietish81 December 12, 2012 at 3:13 pm

The insidious threat of feminism is marking it harder to be a successful man who wants to treat his female colleagues like his personal Barbie Dolls?

valthemus December 12, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Makes you wonder why people refer to Heritage Foundation as a *think* tank.

actor212 December 12, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Well, the "tanked" part makes sense…

Geminisunmars December 12, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Oh, I kept reading that as *stink* tank. It made sense then.

JackDempsey1 December 12, 2012 at 2:53 pm

This is confusing.
Any time there is a picture of a bound-and-gagged individual, we Americans expect a grinning Lindy England showing us where to look.
What's yer point?

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 12, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Not exactly my kind of fap material, but, hey, I can see why that works for people at Heritage.

sullivanst December 12, 2012 at 3:00 pm

It's a dude, so that was a good place for them to start.

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 12, 2012 at 2:53 pm

So, how long does it take until we find out that Heritage was all in favor of the same reforms until the Democrats decided to back them?

noodlesalad December 12, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Ask and ye shall receive.

"Some lawmakers may not realize it, but there's a fine line between raising legitimate objections and simply obstructing business.

"In the Senate, a minority of senators is using the filibuster as a tool to prevent a vote on judicial nominees they dislike. We'll learn soon if the Senate's rules really allow that."

- Edwin J. Feulner, Ph.D., President of Heritage Foundation in 2005

BaldarTFlagass December 12, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Heritage Foundation should be watching Bob Roberts, not Mr Smith.

commiegirl99 December 12, 2012 at 5:09 pm

Don't do crack. It's a ghetto drug.

orygoon December 12, 2012 at 2:54 pm

The reply should be to shift to a different movie, where Jimmy Stewart guns down the bad guy in the street in order to defend the warmhearted ladies in the bawdyhouse that he inherited, and Henry Fonda drawls "On-lee man I ever knowed who was killed by a pee-can". And we all know what side that bad guy was on, do we not?

sullivanst December 12, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Sometimes the simplest examples make the best points.

Well yes, this is true, the point here being: never believe anything the Heritage Foundation says, they're liars and/or idiots.

OneYieldRegular December 12, 2012 at 2:58 pm

I can't wait to see what they do with "It's a Wonderful Life."

FNMA December 12, 2012 at 3:07 pm

I don't know, but whenever I watch that movie, I always think that Pottersville would be a fuck-ton more fun than Bedford Falls.

SuspectedDemocrat December 12, 2012 at 3:20 pm

That's happening in the fiscal cliff negotiations. Boehner is offering fifty cents on the dollar for all your shares.

Pat_Pending December 12, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Zuzu dies of malnutrition because all she has to eat is petals.

SorosBot December 12, 2012 at 3:26 pm

I prefer the original lost ending:
http://www.hulu.com/watch/4267

BaldarTFlagass December 12, 2012 at 3:00 pm

When I was in the service and we were doing training for shit like damage control and fire fighting and such, we would always get to the point where we had to "simulate" whatever. I guess the Senate has been at "simulated filibuster" for quite a while now.

SexySmurf December 12, 2012 at 3:04 pm

If he succeeds, I hope the Heritage Foundation goes with "Harry Reid Shot Liberty (Valance)."

Lizzietish81 December 12, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Of course the Heritage Foundation is banking on people having never actually seen Mr. Smith, but just know it by reputation, and aren't curious enough to find out for themselves what the movie was about.

Which was their secure base anyways.

calliecallie December 12, 2012 at 4:19 pm

I actually would be willing to bet that more people are aware of the movie than are aware of the Heritage Foundation. Suck on that, Heritage.

Callyson December 12, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Oh FFS…

/assholes

Pragmatist2 December 12, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Sometimes the only rational response to these people is to spit and say "F*ck you!"

Tundra Grifter December 12, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Is that the same Heritage Foundation who thought it was a great idea to make all those free-loaders purchase health insurance so they wouldn't be feeding at the public trough? Only now that we have a Blah President that's a terrible idea, of course.

Is that the same Heritgage Foundation that purchases "editorial advertising" on Sheer InSannity's and Off-the-Mark's dumb radio shows? They pay money to have positive opinions about them worked into the rants.

decentcitizen December 12, 2012 at 3:14 pm

I look forward to the day when elderly men with prostate problems are forced to read phone books for hours to prevent legislation from being voted on. There opposition to this reform indicates they know they couldn't have pulled of the last four years if this had been the prevailing procedural practice.

actor212 December 12, 2012 at 3:16 pm

This is what has Republicans pissed…pardon the pun…off. If they actually have to stand in there and show the American people their obstuctionism, they'll start losing followers.

bikerlaureate December 12, 2012 at 8:55 pm

That's giving their followers too much credit. The children of their followers, however, might yet be salvaged.

christianmuslin December 12, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Meanwhile back to reality: while the republicans in the Senate focus on how to maintain a minority rule filibuster North Korea launches a missle capable of reaching the coast of California while carrying a nuclear warhead. Not to be outdone, House republicans try to make democrats in general and the president in particular share some of the blame when entitlements are reduced in the name of deficit reduction to keep the cuntry from falling over the fiscal cliff.

I have a question: can the democrats win the white house if there is no California?

bikerlaureate December 12, 2012 at 4:00 pm

The lurkers among us could easily find out the 2012 final score – Obama 332, Moroni 206.

And hey, 332 minus California's 55 electoral votes is dang near 270!
No… wait… it's over 270!

Your Concern is… odd.

Negropolis December 13, 2012 at 2:18 am

I'm honestly not sure if this is supposed to be snark or serious…

LibertyLover December 12, 2012 at 3:18 pm

To be fair, that spit on the Senate floor was pretty slippery and old man McCain kept slipping and crashing into desks…. like 5 times he crashed into the Senate desks. Reid was afraid McCain would bust a hip or sumpthin'.

Allmighty_Manos December 12, 2012 at 3:20 pm

If the filibuster is so anti-democratic, why did every other democracy make their system work just like our Senate. Oh wait…

christianmuslin December 12, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Meanwhile back to reality: while the republicans in the Senate focus on how to maintain a minority rule filibuster North Korea launches a missle capable of reaching the coast of California while carrying a nuclear warhead. Not to be outdone, House republicans try to make democrats in general and the president in particular share some of the blame when entitlements are reduced in the name of deficit reduction to keep the country from falling over the fiscal cliff.

JustPixelz December 12, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Here's the thing.

In Republican World, they don't have a majority in the Senate so want the rules preserved so minority rules.

In Republican World, Obama won the popular vote so they want to change the rules to appoint Electors by Congressional district instead. If that had been done in the last election and Electoral College matched Congressional races, it's President Romney with — wait for it — 47% of popular vote.

In Republican World, 249 Democrats "rammed Obamacare down our throats" but 239 Republicans is "the people have spoken".

Sassomatic December 12, 2012 at 3:45 pm

We must silence them in order to hear them.

qwerty42 December 12, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Hey, the Heritage Foundation has a lot of old white guys in it; they probably all received the same forwarded piece of something (probably something from The Onion or WND) and now they are nearly incontinent over it. So the thing is, they believe this stuff. Cut them some slack; they're olds and this here "internet thing" is a mystery. Except they know that piece of forwarded email they received has to be true. I mean "you can't say it if it isn't true".

Doktor Zoom December 12, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Also, too, sorry for the error. Someday I hope to stop confusing the director Frank Capra with the photographer Robert Capa.

Also Jon and Jimmy Stewart.

And Martha and Lindsey Graham.

ffredpalakon December 12, 2012 at 6:29 pm

My completely inoffensive first thought to this was:

"Harry Reid Wants To Silence Mr. Smith…and Lindsay Graham Wants To Fuck Him In The Ass."

So hot now.

BZ1 December 12, 2012 at 10:54 pm

Filibluster is the silliest part of the U.S. system (FYI spelled correctly)

Negropolis December 13, 2012 at 1:48 am

If I ever have a chance to filibuster, it will be to spoken word by Bill Shatner.

ttommyunger December 13, 2012 at 7:32 am

So, the Tea Party succeeds in fucking the R's out of the Presidency and several Congressional Seats by virtue of it's bat-shit crazy rhetoric and the Heritage Foundation doubles down by hiring the Senior Tea Party Senator to run it. I'm beginning to grasp a whole new understanding of the term: Think Tank. I'm liking it…

bikerlaureate December 12, 2012 at 4:04 pm

You really need to consider what "art" they'd be making instead.

deviantART and a dozen imitators are making the world safer…

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: