Just Another Lost Cause

Heritage Foundation Very Proud Of Its Incoherent Bondage Porn Filibuster Tumblr Message

We do not think this movie means what you think it means
Hey, movie fans! Remember that Robert Frank Capra classic where Jimmy Stewart saves the day by standing up and filibustering a bill he knows in his heart to be bad? Pretty dramatic stuff, and an iconic bit of Authentic American Cornball Political Sincerity. Of course, as we all sorta-kinda know, the rules for filibusters have changed, so instead of One Brave Senator standing up and reading Collected Poems of Leonard Nimoy into the record, the minority party just says “We filibuster thee” and spits three times, and that counts. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, seeing all the stalled legislation and spit covering the Senate floor, hopes to bring back Old School filibusters: You want to stop a bill, you gotta stand up and talk.

So above is the Heritage Foundation’s invocation of Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, aimed at Harry Reid’s proposal to change how filibusters work. We will now pause, class, for you to ponder what is wrong with this picture.

Oh, yeah, right. Requiring future “Mr. Smiths” to stand up and talk like in the movie will actually, uh, silence “Mr. Smith” because then he can’t bring the Senate to a halt silently anymore! Harry Reid hates free speech and wants to duct tape Jimmy Stewart’s affable corpse!

The Heritage Foundation is so proud of this image that when a reader suggested it was maybe just a little meaningless, they reblogged the comment with a smart answer:

Related video

jasencomstock: “We don’t have a case so look, a movie.”

theheritagefoundation: Sometimes the simplest examples make the best points.

Yes, especially when anyone who’s seen the movie knows that image makes no sense! We guess that the Nino Scalia School of Rhetoric is more influential than we thought!

We look forward to the Heritage Foundation’s next Tumblr post, featuring a still from the movie Bulworth to argue that Loving v. Virginia was an example of judicial overreach.

[Tumblr]

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About the author

Doktor Zoom lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his pseudonym after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition).

View all articles by Doktor Zoom

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126 comments

  1. PuckStopsHere

    Filibuster=silence and Rick Snyder says Right to Work is "good for workers." I am beginning to understand, now.

    1. An Asexual Ungulate

      But it's still the libruls who are fascists and who want to take us into a 1984-esque world of total repression.

    2. Negropolis

      Silly, it's not called Right to Work, anymore. It's Freedom to Work, 'cause, you know, FREEDUMB!

      Orwell is offering a golfclap from the Great Beyond.

    1. Terry

      The Heritage Foundation is staffed with graduates of fine institutions such as Regents University. What can you honestly expect from them?

  2. ManchuCandidate

    But in the movie Mr Smith wasn't a fat doofus who had a Koch brothers hand up his smelly ass, wore a 3 corner hat and yell out stupid shit about Kenyans, low taxes and fluoride.

          1. bikerlaureate

            You really need to consider what "art" they'd be making instead.

            deviantART and a dozen imitators are making the world safer…

  3. SorosBot

    I'm sure the Heritage Foundation's support for the indefensible filibuster is totally based on principal and not politics, and that if the Republicans had the Senate majority with the Democrats constantly filibustering everything they would still oppose a Republican effort to reform the filibuster rules. Right?

    1. HogeyeGrex

      Which is why Republicans never, ever threatened to break Senate rules with the "nuclear option" when Democrats had the audacity to filibuster say, a tenth of the number of judicial appointees that the current Republicans have.

      1. SorosBot

        And it's not like the media treated the filibusters by Democrats then as a horrible assault on the functioning of the Senate, but then as soon as the Dems took over the Republican filibusters didn't even get called filibusters, but just "a routine procedure requiring 60 votes", as if that was totally normal for everything.

      2. Rebootably_Joe

        IT'S TOTALLY DEMOCRATS FAULT FOR FILIBUSTERING ROBERT BORK FOR THINGS THAT WERE TOTALLY NOT HIS JUDICIAL TEMPERMENT OR ARGUMENTS THAT WOMEN DON'T DESERVE CIVIL RIGHTS.

        What ever happened to that guy, anyway?

  4. noodlesalad

    Republicans are scared of the old "reading the phone book" filibuster technique because there's so many "ethnic" names in there now. "Abad" "Abadiano" "Abadin" "Abajo"

    WHEN DO WE GET TO ADAMS?!?!?!?! AHH I GIVE UP YOUR BILL WINS!!!!!

    1. LesBontemps

      And if they say it three times in a darkened bathroom, Larry Craig appears.

      Oh all right, Larry Craig would appear in a darkened bathroom regardless.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      "You can't scare me with this Gestapo crap. I know my rights. I want my phone call."

      "Tell me, Mr. Anderson… what good is a phone call… if you're unable to speak?"

  5. Loch_Nessosaur

    Once Jim DeMint takes over at the Heritage Foundation we won't see this level of teh stupidz anymore.

  6. CrunchyKnee

    It is rather cute that the fucktards at Heritage Foundation found an intern to run a bit of Photoshop for them, tho, too.

  7. sullivanst

    Oh look, the Heritage Foundation is saying the exact opposite of the truth again.

    In other news, the sun rose in the East today.

  8. el_donaldo

    O.K. Heritage, that's a start, but if you could somehow photoshop Julie Newmar as Catwoman into that picture, then I'll be completely good.

  9. BornInATrailer

    I bet I have whined about the neutered filibuster a dozen times on these comments. I cannot wait for this to get rolled back. And I've got to imagine some Heritage Foundation members are quite embarrassed to see that BS. I mean, the right is supposed to the party of real (old white) men. To whine about actually having to, you know, filibuster when you filibuster must really shrink their nuts. Little bitty baby balls.

    The silent filibuster is basically the New Coke of senate rules.

  10. bikerlaureate

    Now they're just yanking the chain of their sycophants.

    Silencing someone is accomplished by making them speak, instead of silently blocking legislation?
    There's no way they can make this case, and subsequently defend it, unless they're mocking the feebleminded. Compassionately-conservatively.

    1. el_donaldo

      played by Rand Paul and supported by a band of his Nazi curb-stomping followers. I think you have yourself an S&M prison exploitation flick in the making, sir.

  11. asterixaverni

    Down is up, red is purple, under is over, grass is orange, or whatever other bullshit the conservatards declare to be reality today.

  12. kittensdontlie

    For the Heritage Foundation's next nonsensical Tumblr message, a duct-tapped Clarence Thomas could be used to represent….???

    1. Lizzietish81

      The insidious threat of feminism is marking it harder to be a successful man who wants to treat his female colleagues like his personal Barbie Dolls?

  13. JackDempsey1

    This is confusing.
    Any time there is a picture of a bound-and-gagged individual, we Americans expect a grinning Lindy England showing us where to look.
    What's yer point?

    1. noodlesalad

      Ask and ye shall receive.

      "Some lawmakers may not realize it, but there's a fine line between raising legitimate objections and simply obstructing business.

      "In the Senate, a minority of senators is using the filibuster as a tool to prevent a vote on judicial nominees they dislike. We'll learn soon if the Senate's rules really allow that."

      - Edwin J. Feulner, Ph.D., President of Heritage Foundation in 2005

  14. orygoon

    The reply should be to shift to a different movie, where Jimmy Stewart guns down the bad guy in the street in order to defend the warmhearted ladies in the bawdyhouse that he inherited, and Henry Fonda drawls "On-lee man I ever knowed who was killed by a pee-can". And we all know what side that bad guy was on, do we not?

  15. sullivanst

    Sometimes the simplest examples make the best points.

    Well yes, this is true, the point here being: never believe anything the Heritage Foundation says, they're liars and/or idiots.

    1. FNMA

      I don't know, but whenever I watch that movie, I always think that Pottersville would be a fuck-ton more fun than Bedford Falls.

    2. SuspectedDemocrat

      That's happening in the fiscal cliff negotiations. Boehner is offering fifty cents on the dollar for all your shares.

  16. BaldarTFlagass

    When I was in the service and we were doing training for shit like damage control and fire fighting and such, we would always get to the point where we had to "simulate" whatever. I guess the Senate has been at "simulated filibuster" for quite a while now.

  17. Lizzietish81

    Of course the Heritage Foundation is banking on people having never actually seen Mr. Smith, but just know it by reputation, and aren't curious enough to find out for themselves what the movie was about.

    Which was their secure base anyways.

    1. calliecallie

      I actually would be willing to bet that more people are aware of the movie than are aware of the Heritage Foundation. Suck on that, Heritage.

  18. Tundra Grifter

    Is that the same Heritage Foundation who thought it was a great idea to make all those free-loaders purchase health insurance so they wouldn't be feeding at the public trough? Only now that we have a Blah President that's a terrible idea, of course.

    Is that the same Heritgage Foundation that purchases "editorial advertising" on Sheer InSannity's and Off-the-Mark's dumb radio shows? They pay money to have positive opinions about them worked into the rants.

  19. decentcitizen

    I look forward to the day when elderly men with prostate problems are forced to read phone books for hours to prevent legislation from being voted on. There opposition to this reform indicates they know they couldn't have pulled of the last four years if this had been the prevailing procedural practice.

    1. actor212

      This is what has Republicans pissed…pardon the pun…off. If they actually have to stand in there and show the American people their obstuctionism, they'll start losing followers.

      1. bikerlaureate

        That's giving their followers too much credit. The children of their followers, however, might yet be salvaged.

  20. christianmuslin

    Meanwhile back to reality: while the republicans in the Senate focus on how to maintain a minority rule filibuster North Korea launches a missle capable of reaching the coast of California while carrying a nuclear warhead. Not to be outdone, House republicans try to make democrats in general and the president in particular share some of the blame when entitlements are reduced in the name of deficit reduction to keep the cuntry from falling over the fiscal cliff.

    I have a question: can the democrats win the white house if there is no California?

    1. bikerlaureate

      The lurkers among us could easily find out the 2012 final score – Obama 332, Moroni 206.

      And hey, 332 minus California's 55 electoral votes is dang near 270!
      No… wait… it's over 270!

      Your Concern is… odd.

  21. LibertyLover

    To be fair, that spit on the Senate floor was pretty slippery and old man McCain kept slipping and crashing into desks…. like 5 times he crashed into the Senate desks. Reid was afraid McCain would bust a hip or sumpthin'.

  22. Allmighty_Manos

    If the filibuster is so anti-democratic, why did every other democracy make their system work just like our Senate. Oh wait…

  23. christianmuslin

    Meanwhile back to reality: while the republicans in the Senate focus on how to maintain a minority rule filibuster North Korea launches a missle capable of reaching the coast of California while carrying a nuclear warhead. Not to be outdone, House republicans try to make democrats in general and the president in particular share some of the blame when entitlements are reduced in the name of deficit reduction to keep the country from falling over the fiscal cliff.

  24. JustPixelz

    Here's the thing.

    In Republican World, they don't have a majority in the Senate so want the rules preserved so minority rules.

    In Republican World, Obama won the popular vote so they want to change the rules to appoint Electors by Congressional district instead. If that had been done in the last election and Electoral College matched Congressional races, it's President Romney with — wait for it — 47% of popular vote.

    In Republican World, 249 Democrats "rammed Obamacare down our throats" but 239 Republicans is "the people have spoken".

  25. qwerty42

    Hey, the Heritage Foundation has a lot of old white guys in it; they probably all received the same forwarded piece of something (probably something from The Onion or WND) and now they are nearly incontinent over it. So the thing is, they believe this stuff. Cut them some slack; they're olds and this here "internet thing" is a mystery. Except they know that piece of forwarded email they received has to be true. I mean "you can't say it if it isn't true".

  26. Doktor Zoom

    Also, too, sorry for the error. Someday I hope to stop confusing the director Frank Capra with the photographer Robert Capa.

    Also Jon and Jimmy Stewart.

    And Martha and Lindsey Graham.

  27. ttommyunger

    So, the Tea Party succeeds in fucking the R's out of the Presidency and several Congressional Seats by virtue of it's bat-shit crazy rhetoric and the Heritage Foundation doubles down by hiring the Senior Tea Party Senator to run it. I'm beginning to grasp a whole new understanding of the term: Think Tank. I'm liking it…

Comments are closed.