Maybe you’re on the fence when it comes to Marijuana legalization – you tried it at a Cranberries concert in the ’90s and didn’t understand all the fuss, but you’re worried your commute to work will be cluttered with one too many drum circles. Perhaps you hate the stuff, but you’re like, sooo anti-Fed you’d rather see states individually address the issue. Whatever silly reason you have for not wholeheartedly throwing your money and support behind the War on Drugs, former Texas (and current Texas Eagle Forum president) GOP Chair Cathie Adams will bring you to your senses with her watertight argument against Marijuana legalization: if you do drugs, you may not be able to memorize lengthy speeches while juggling the most intense workload of any professional in the country!
Speaking before a Grassroots America We the People “Call to Action” meeting, Adams highlighted what we can all expect should laws prohibiting drugs continue to soften:
…if we legalize it, will we empty out our jails and will we be safe for ever more? No. I’m telling you, Barack Hussein Obama has got to have a teleprompter because he fried his brain on drugs.
If we legalize drugs, more and more Americans may require teleprompters to make televised speeches to millions of people after attending nonstop meetings with foreign leaders and military strategists. Beyond needing a teleprompter to sort out his drug-addled brain, Barack Hussein Obama wants you to hit rock bottom so you’ll need a teleprompter too!
I don’t know why we’re not calling him what he is as a Marxist. It’s as if, when the wall fell that communism died; it didn’t. Today, it is green on the outside and red on the inside. It is as red as ever and Barack Obama is implementing his green agenda, which is Marxism, and that is exactly why our economy is hurting as badly as it is and why twenty three million people are still out of work.
That’s right – despite Obama’s Department of Justice and its aggressive and often unprecedented contributions to the War on Drugs, the President has a secret “green agenda” that promotes lax drug policies with the hope that the Feds can one day constantly stream Marxist propaganda to its vulnerable, drug scrambled citizens via government-issue teleprompter.
Suck on that, Colorado.
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George W didn't need a teleprompter. He had Cheney's hand up his ass to make his mouth move.
And that was not the soft option, either.
dubya had them devise that stupid flip-book for his speeches, because he got cross-eyed and hypnotized and stopped talking every time he saw words moving up a screen.
and it was so subtle! you almost couldn't see him turning the pages as he broke for applause lines!
now that guy</> was a masterful speechifier. no drugs in that noggin. no sir.
All that cocaine and booze might explain why W couldn't tell Iran from Iraq.
My own mother repeated this story to me last night. She is now buried in the backyard.
She's better off now.
She is in a better place.
It had to be done.
This is the "respect for the office of the President" we heard so much about from the Neo-cons during Chimpy/Cheney's Reign of Error?
What?….sorry….Wasn't listening….a little trouble paying attention.
The mouth panties still distracting you?
Oh wow man.
Smoke enough reefer and you can become president? Hey, Mitt, over here!
That WOULD explain some of Rmoney's statements…
The trees are just…perfect, man. Like, the same height, like they knew how high to grow. Ha, I said high and grow in the same sentence!
And everything's so GREEN!
Little know fact, but Barry Bamz also blew his mind out in a car.
He didn't notice that the light had changed.
The crowds of people turned, well… out and voted for him a second time.
With ACTUAL votes.
Her writing skills are similar to that of pretty people.
Y'know, I've always found that drugs bring out the best in me. [spit!] But that's because I'm a true American, and not some kind of Kenyan Mooselimb. [spit!] After a hard day's work in the meth lab, I like to sit back and enjoy a little moonshine and a bit of oxycontin. [spit!] In the fine tradition of the Founders, I believe in no niggers, no homos, and no taxes on alcohol.
Strange how the war on drugs isn't as tough on those drugs. Full disclaimer, I personally don't approve of any drug use at all. But hipocracy is sometimes as bad.
I'm glad that the children were here today to hear this fine example of authentic frontier gibberish. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ke5Mr5eCF2U
"…where white lightnin's still the biggest thrill of all." Is it a thrill because it's ILLEGAL, Okies? Whose brains are scrambled now?
I prefer a side of ham with my marijuana eggs.
"Psychedelic Eggs and Ham."
Dr. Suess changed the title because 'Psychedelic' had more than two syllables.
I do not like you Cathie Wingnut
I do not like you on a bus
I do not like you when you fuss
I do not like you when you "think"
Twits like you drive me to drink.
We've found America's next poet laureate!
Is this Cathie Adams from that family down the street with the tall, spooky looking butler?
Do do do do, [finger snap] [finger snap]
Do do do do, [finger snap] [finger snap]
You rang, Mrs. Addams?
Cathie isn't from *that* Adams family… and yet she manages to be both creepy and kooky.
Reading that word salad second blockquote paragraph of hers, I would say she could have used a keyboard-prompter.
Or a little less of the maui-wowie.
keyboard prompter…or at least adult supervision.
Doctors smoke it
Nurses smoke it
Presidents smoke it
Even the wingnuts too
Legalize it – don't criticize it
Word.
Jesusfuck. The Marxist shit again. Blow smoke out yer ass, lady.
Jesusfuck. Prompter shit again!
Elmira Gantry knows her audience.
Someone's on drugs and it ain't the president.
Or alternatively, should be.
That's not my bong.
So pot makes you a commie? I'm confused. Where the fuck is my teleprompter?
I can offer a second data point! I totally smoked pot in college, and then five years after I graduated, plutocratic douchebags and the mainstreaming of hard-right rhetoric turned me into a socialist! If that's not an obvious case of cause and effect, I have no idea what is.
Looks like somebody's car elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
That is totally unfair! I mean, Republicans' Lord and Savior, Ronald Reagan used teleprompters while he was in office, and it's not as though that whole time, he was hiding some sort of neurodegenerative disorder that would have called into question his fitness to-
Oh, um, nevermind.
That teleprompter was not there to help Ronny Raygun remember what to say, no. It was to remind him not to be too awesome!
Relevant yet again.
Is Cathie too ignorant to make an argument that doesn't ignore the past fifty years – or is it simply an unprincipled lust for power?
Someone obviously "intercepted" her ability to think clearly and sensibly.
Drugs make you a Kenyan muslin socialist.
So, is Obama going to get on top of a skyscraper and jump off because he thinks he can fly, just like at the end of Reefer Madness? Or maybe drive too fast and run over someone? Or shoot someone at a party?
Bamz will just toke up, sit down at a piano do some of that devil inspired jazz.
Art Linkletter libel!1!
Jump right from drug policy to the President is a Marxist–true wingnuttery.
Well, she is a "Texas Eagle Forum president and a Grassroots America We the People “Call to Action” person. Really?
His brain may be fried, but his mind is honey-roasted.
It's 4:20 – Do you know where your president is?
I see what you did there.
I was so offended I wanted to go up and just smack his face.
Go ahead! We won't mind. Secret Service will pwn you so hard.
hey, he was being uppitty- when a black man glares at a white man in Texas- he can be shot legally by anyone
Oh – I would pay to see that beatdown!
Where’s my free teleprompter?
There's an app for that on your Obamaphone, dude.
A related aside: I heard an item on NPR yesterday about the Colorado governor signing the document that makes personal use of pot legal in the state. The people there to celebrate where exactly the people you don't want to show up on the TV or radio. Duuuuuude……this is soooo cooool…..it's legal now…..I'm sooooo baked………
I never smoked pot not so much because my parents told me not to (they did) but because it seemed so stupid. The folks I knew who smoked would end up sitting around watching cartoons or some such thing and wasting a whole day or evening giggling. I had no desire to spend hours in a stinking basement eating junk food.
I hear ya, but I'd still feel safer in that crowd than in a crowd that was drunk. My guess is nobody was assaulted afterwards.
Plus fewer assault rifles.
True. They tend to lack energy until the run out of pot or junk food, then are on a bit of a mission.
I don't think pot is necessarily addictive, unless you are prone to addiction, but has made some people waste a good bit of time sometimes years.
True, Terry, but in that respect it's no different from video games, television or our beloved Wonket.
what- is this the internet?
Some of us would toke up and fire up the motorcycle and do 80 mph down Boulevard of the Allies with renewed confidence we could make the turn into the Civic Arena in time for the concert.
"I had no desire to spend hours in a stinking basement eating junk food." But that's a requirement for employment at NRO.
Wait… that requires pot?
Also too: does this explain Dok's Brony proclivities?
"…fried his brain on drugs."
Please proceed Ms Adams.
He also fried bin Laden's brain … with
votesbullets.Wingers have fried their brains on Kochaine.
Numerous wingnut politicians have Kochaine running around in their pockets.
AND kicked your candidate's ass. So, your point is….?
Cathie Adams looks like someone who never got the chance to do drugs because her peer group was busy shunning her for being such an awful person.
Anyone calling Obama a Marxist shows complete ignorance of Marx. And, most likely, everything else.
I have heard that the President is a Marxist- and is especially fond of Harpo
People calling Obama a Marxist must really piss off actual Marxists.
It certainly does. An actual Marxist wouldn't be all with the drones or the market-based health insurance scheme or the keeping Bradley Manning in jail.
Is she on drugs? Because none of that made any sense, especially that 'green on the outside, red on the inside' shit.
It's a watermelon metaphor, because those people.
Beat me to it. Champs!
For Texas ladies, it's not the drugs that damage their brains. It's the Aqua Net haze from the 70s.
Speaking of marijuana, you holding?
What's she talking about, man?
Everyone knows that the Soviet Union was one giant bong party, start to finish. Those dudes were high ALL THE TIME. Just ask Alexandr Solzhenitsyn.
That's why One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich took so long.
Seriously — 172 pages to describe one day? His mind must have been elsewhere.
Musta been some quality shit, man.
It’s 210 in the original Russian, a copy of which I found at Dom Knigi in 1984 but was not allowed to purchase as I was almost out of rubles and black market exchanges were extremely dangerous those days.
It is as red as ever and Barack Obama is implementing his green agenda
So Barry's Santa Claus?
Yup, giving all those "gifts" to the voters so that he could get elected. Per GOP, Mittens, also. too.
that explains all those Obamaphones…
Behind every good man there is a woman, and that woman was Michelle Obama, man, and everyday Barack would come home, she would have a big fat bowl waiting for him, man, when he come in the door, man, she was a hip, hip, hip lady, man.
Cathie Adams is also the president of Texas Abstinence Club.
As well as the Texas Temperance Union, fighting the pernicious influence of the Demon Rum.
Let's hope its the Texas Absinthe Club and encourage heavy use.
Thank [diety] for that!
"I don’t know why we’re not calling him what he is as a Marxist. "
She's right, no one has ever called President Obama a Marxist before.
Certainly no one who knows what the term "Marxist" actually means.
/ snark
About an eighth of the prison population is there for pot violations. Over $1B per year for this freakin' misguided nonsense.
/ snark on
There were three Conservetards, chillin' and sharing a doobie when…
Did you say "eighth"?
"Dude, where is my teleprompter?"
And where has Prommie been?
Today, it is green on the outside and red on the inside.
Jeez, more watermelon jokes.
Teleprompters, according to the nytimes, have been in use for some time Ms Cunt Eagle. In fact, president Dwight Eisenhower was the first US president to use one. He used it for a State of the Union speech. Are we then to take as fact that Ike blew out his brains on drugs while having sex with his biographer when he was stationed in Europe?
I am now going to go fire up the six footer and put on "A Concert for Bangledesh" and jam on some Ravi. Now he jams with George again.
All things must pass, dude. Speaking of which, pass that spliff, bro.
Barack Hussein Obama glared at Mitt Romney in that last debate, I was so offended I wanted to go up and just
smack his face.Possible replacements for redacted phrase:
a) have him ravish me
b) lynch him
You know what's really offensive to me? Knowing Bush couldn't read his teleprompter.
Maybe if they'd've put "My Pet Goat" on it…
Bless her heart.
I've said it before and will probably do so again, but Obama really really needs to grow him out a big ol' Anger-Fro. That would freak these people's shit out.
and start peppering his speaches with the liberal use of "muthafuckkas".
Hey man, Barrack's not here…
Marxist? That word does not mean what you think it means. I think the word you are looking for is "nigger."
"Marxist", like "socialist" apparently does not mean anything more than something Republicans were told to dislike by Fox, hate radio, and bad email forwards in between whining about how everyone else does not "think for themselves".
I thought the talking point was 24 million people out of work?
Oh, right.
I wonder if at the end of Obama's second term if he will remove his mask to reveal that he is indeed Marx.
Chico, Harpo, Groucho or….Zeppo?
Who cares? You just know it's gonna be a hoot either way!
As long as it's not Richard.
Hopefully Gummo.
Better, Engels.
So…all those wind turbines are just drug toys?
Windmills are from Holland, man. And that's where Amsterdam is. Also European socialisms. Connect the dotz!!!!!
Don't forget the maryjewwanna cafes.
The child-like "logic" and "facts" she brings to her case are … uh, like those of all the other silly old fools we hear from on what currently parades itself as "conservative" commentary. I guess we can expect another 4 years of this nonsense.
It's never getting any better dude – sorry.
Canadian Socializm!!
We're all in this together- gotta be socialist.
Of course Obama's stoned. How else are you supposed to watch the Santa Clause movies with your kids?
Marijuana will also increase our interception skills, making football so entertaining that we'll never see the New World Order coming.
I haz hunger for about ah… 1000 tacos, Dude!
I'm in Colorado, where as of Monday (at 4:20) we get a 25% discount on bongs AND teleprompters. Cheetos too.
So, fuck all y'all!
I think the bigger lesson is that if YOU DON'T DO DRUGS you will wind up like that guy who DIDN'T BECOME PRESIDENT, you know that LOSER old what's his name…
So communism is just like Christmas? Awesome.
When I read a wing nutz' piece like this, I always think of "The Chief" – Robert Parrish.
When he was busted for weed he was the oldest player in the N damn BA.
PS: Wing Nutz Lady – When you quote (r)Money you overstate the number of unemployed persons in the US of A by something over 90%.
Anyone else know what's green on the outside and red on the inside???
That one alien chick from Star Trek?
O Please why are not the death panels real. I would so sign her up immediately.
Hmmm, do I want to be more like Obama or Romney… hmmmm….
Who knew Mitt Romney (who?) spent his whole youth stoned out of his freakin' mind.
Guys, they're never going to stop. Did we stop after the 2004 election?
You're right. Let's just make fun of 14-year-olds from now on.
I can't believe any conservative is still making teleprompter comments. Perhaps Cathie is still in denial and didn't notice Romney used a teleprompter on election night when he gave his hastily-written "I lost 'cause I'm a big fucking loser" speech.
No wonder the wingnuts are always so angry- they got their asses handed to them by a stoner whose brains are fried. I'd be a little pissed if Jeff Spicoli bested me too…
haha, that graphic. I used to have it on a t-shirt. I would wear it to parties where many would indulge, and then we'd all go to Denny's.
Clarification: Drugs = just the bad ones. Not like Zoloft, methadone, Bud-Dry, Mexi-Coke, &c
Related: Is Boehner on Restatis? Cuz his tear production is definitely not normal…
OT for Editrix: another autoplay ad, this time for our buddies at the Wall Street Journal: buy.wsj.com
The most disciplined capitalists I knew in college were the Deadheads. They sold weed and some damned fine blow, never gave you a break on the price, and never fronted anything. And they all went to law school after they graduated. To a man.
That explains Romney, Ryan and Rubios problems cuz THEY ALL use TelePrompTers!
Just one look at Cathie Adams, the wild-eyed crazy, puts her delusions in perspective.
Marxist? Is that all they got? Really? Jesus, that's weak. I know the 'Tards and the bigots will buy it, but then they'd believe Bammers is a fucking Martian if Rush Lamebough said it.
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