This is Your Brain on Stupid

Wingnut Chick: Do Drugs and You Might End Up Like That Guy Who Became President

Maybe you’re on the fence when it comes to Marijuana legalization – you tried it at a Cranberries concert in the ’90s and didn’t understand all the fuss, but you’re worried your commute to work will be cluttered with one too many drum circles. Perhaps you hate the stuff, but you’re like, sooo anti-Fed you’d rather see states individually address the issue. Whatever silly reason you have for not wholeheartedly throwing your money and support behind the War on Drugs, former Texas (and current Texas Eagle Forum president) GOP Chair Cathie Adams will bring you to your senses with her watertight argument against Marijuana legalization: if you do drugs, you may not be able to memorize lengthy speeches while juggling the most intense workload of any professional in the country!

Speaking before a Grassroots America We the People “Call to Action” meeting, Adams highlighted what we can all expect should laws prohibiting drugs continue to soften:

…if we legalize it, will we empty out our jails and will we be safe for ever more? No. I’m telling you, Barack Hussein Obama has got to have a teleprompter because he fried his brain on drugs.

If we legalize drugs, more and more Americans may require teleprompters to make televised speeches to millions of people after attending nonstop meetings with foreign leaders and military strategists. Beyond needing a teleprompter to sort out his drug-addled brain, Barack Hussein Obama wants you to hit rock bottom so you’ll need a teleprompter too!

I don’t know why we’re not calling him what he is as a Marxist. It’s as if, when the wall fell that communism died; it didn’t. Today, it is green on the outside and red on the inside. It is as red as ever and Barack Obama is implementing his green agenda, which is Marxism, and that is exactly why our economy is hurting as badly as it is and why twenty three million people are still out of work.

That’s right – despite Obama’s Department of Justice and its aggressive and often unprecedented contributions to the War on Drugs, the President has a secret “green agenda” that promotes lax drug policies with the hope that the Feds can one day constantly stream Marxist propaganda to its vulnerable, drug scrambled citizens via government-issue teleprompter.

Suck on that, Colorado.

[Right Wing Watch]

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    1. local242thug

      dubya had them devise that stupid flip-book for his speeches, because he got cross-eyed and hypnotized and stopped talking every time he saw words moving up a screen.

      and it was so subtle! you almost couldn't see him turning the pages as he broke for applause lines!

      now that guy</> was a masterful speechifier. no drugs in that noggin. no sir.

  1. BadKitty904

    This is the "respect for the office of the President" we heard so much about from the Neo-cons during Chimpy/Cheney's Reign of Error?

      1. noodlesalad

        The trees are just…perfect, man. Like, the same height, like they knew how high to grow. Ha, I said high and grow in the same sentence!

  2. skoalrebel

    Y'know, I've always found that drugs bring out the best in me. [spit!] But that's because I'm a true American, and not some kind of Kenyan Mooselimb. [spit!] After a hard day's work in the meth lab, I like to sit back and enjoy a little moonshine and a bit of oxycontin. [spit!] In the fine tradition of the Founders, I believe in no niggers, no homos, and no taxes on alcohol.

    1. Redgyal

      Strange how the war on drugs isn't as tough on those drugs. Full disclaimer, I personally don't approve of any drug use at all. But hipocracy is sometimes as bad.

    2. CindynEncinitas

      "…where white lightnin's still the biggest thrill of all." Is it a thrill because it's ILLEGAL, Okies? Whose brains are scrambled now?

    1. James Michael Curley

      "Psychedelic Eggs and Ham."
      Dr. Suess changed the title because 'Psychedelic' had more than two syllables.

      1. Dashboard Buddha

        I do not like you Cathie Wingnut
        I do not like you on a bus
        I do not like you when you fuss
        I do not like you when you "think"
        Twits like you drive me to drink.

  3. James Michael Curley

    Is this Cathie Adams from that family down the street with the tall, spooky looking butler?

  4. BaldarTFlagass

    Reading that word salad second blockquote paragraph of hers, I would say she could have used a keyboard-prompter.

  5. noodlesalad

    Doctors smoke it
    Nurses smoke it
    Presidents smoke it
    Even the wingnuts too

    Legalize it – don't criticize it

    1. Rebootably_Joe

      I can offer a second data point! I totally smoked pot in college, and then five years after I graduated, plutocratic douchebags and the mainstreaming of hard-right rhetoric turned me into a socialist! If that's not an obvious case of cause and effect, I have no idea what is.

  6. Rebootably_Joe

    That is totally unfair! I mean, Republicans' Lord and Savior, Ronald Reagan used teleprompters while he was in office, and it's not as though that whole time, he was hiding some sort of neurodegenerative disorder that would have called into question his fitness to-

    Oh, um, nevermind.

    1. jodyleek

      That teleprompter was not there to help Ronny Raygun remember what to say, no. It was to remind him not to be too awesome!

  7. Estproph

    So, is Obama going to get on top of a skyscraper and jump off because he thinks he can fly, just like at the end of Reefer Madness? Or maybe drive too fast and run over someone? Or shoot someone at a party?

    1. freakishlywrong

      Well, she is a "Texas Eagle Forum president and a Grassroots America We the People “Call to Action” person. Really?

  8. Botlrokit

    I was so offended I wanted to go up and just smack his face.

    Go ahead! We won't mind. Secret Service will pwn you so hard.

    1. finallyhappy

      hey, he was being uppitty- when a black man glares at a white man in Texas- he can be shot legally by anyone

  9. Terry

    A related aside: I heard an item on NPR yesterday about the Colorado governor signing the document that makes personal use of pot legal in the state. The people there to celebrate where exactly the people you don't want to show up on the TV or radio. Duuuuuude……this is soooo cooool…'s legal now…..I'm sooooo baked………

    I never smoked pot not so much because my parents told me not to (they did) but because it seemed so stupid. The folks I knew who smoked would end up sitting around watching cartoons or some such thing and wasting a whole day or evening giggling. I had no desire to spend hours in a stinking basement eating junk food.

    1. noodlesalad

      I hear ya, but I'd still feel safer in that crowd than in a crowd that was drunk. My guess is nobody was assaulted afterwards.

      1. Terry

        True. They tend to lack energy until the run out of pot or junk food, then are on a bit of a mission.

        I don't think pot is necessarily addictive, unless you are prone to addiction, but has made some people waste a good bit of time sometimes years.

        1. noodlesalad

          True, Terry, but in that respect it's no different from video games, television or our beloved Wonket.

    2. James Michael Curley

      Some of us would toke up and fire up the motorcycle and do 80 mph down Boulevard of the Allies with renewed confidence we could make the turn into the Civic Arena in time for the concert.

    3. ZombieForceD

      "I had no desire to spend hours in a stinking basement eating junk food." But that's a requirement for employment at NRO.

    4. Guppy

      The folks I knew who smoked would end up sitting around watching cartoons or some such thing

      Wait… that requires pot?

      Also too: does this explain Dok's Brony proclivities?

  10. JustPixelz

    "…fried his brain on drugs."

    Please proceed Ms Adams.

    He also fried bin Laden's brain … with votes bullets.

    Wingers have fried their brains on Kochaine.

  11. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Cathie Adams looks like someone who never got the chance to do drugs because her peer group was busy shunning her for being such an awful person.

      1. doloras

        It certainly does. An actual Marxist wouldn't be all with the drones or the market-based health insurance scheme or the keeping Bradley Manning in jail.

  12. Dr_Zoidberg

    Is she on drugs? Because none of that made any sense, especially that 'green on the outside, red on the inside' shit.

  13. Texan_Bulldog

    For Texas ladies, it's not the drugs that damage their brains. It's the Aqua Net haze from the 70s.

  14. not that Dewey

    Everyone knows that the Soviet Union was one giant bong party, start to finish. Those dudes were high ALL THE TIME. Just ask Alexandr Solzhenitsyn.

        1. James Michael Curley

          It’s 210 in the original Russian, a copy of which I found at Dom Knigi in 1984 but was not allowed to purchase as I was almost out of rubles and black market exchanges were extremely dangerous those days.

    1. Rosie_Scenario

      Yup, giving all those "gifts" to the voters so that he could get elected. Per GOP, Mittens, also. too.

  15. BaldarTFlagass

    Behind every good man there is a woman, and that woman was Michelle Obama, man, and everyday Barack would come home, she would have a big fat bowl waiting for him, man, when he come in the door, man, she was a hip, hip, hip lady, man.

  16. Stevola

    "I don’t know why we’re not calling him what he is as a Marxist. "

    She's right, no one has ever called President Obama a Marxist before.

  17. weejee

    / snark

    About an eighth of the prison population is there for pot violations. Over $1B per year for this freakin' misguided nonsense.

    / snark on

    There were three Conservetards, chillin' and sharing a doobie when…

  18. christianmuslin

    Teleprompters, according to the nytimes, have been in use for some time Ms Cunt Eagle. In fact, president Dwight Eisenhower was the first US president to use one. He used it for a State of the Union speech. Are we then to take as fact that Ike blew out his brains on drugs while having sex with his biographer when he was stationed in Europe?

  19. EatsBabyDingos

    I am now going to go fire up the six footer and put on "A Concert for Bangledesh" and jam on some Ravi. Now he jams with George again.

  20. Chow Yun Flat

    Barack Hussein Obama glared at Mitt Romney in that last debate, I was so offended I wanted to go up and just smack his face.

    Possible replacements for redacted phrase:

    a) have him ravish me
    b) lynch him

  21. BaldarTFlagass

    I've said it before and will probably do so again, but Obama really really needs to grow him out a big ol' Anger-Fro. That would freak these people's shit out.

  22. LesBontemps

    Marxist? That word does not mean what you think it means. I think the word you are looking for is "nigger."

    1. glamourdammerung

      "Marxist", like "socialist" apparently does not mean anything more than something Republicans were told to dislike by Fox, hate radio, and bad email forwards in between whining about how everyone else does not "think for themselves".

    1. LesBontemps

      Windmills are from Holland, man. And that's where Amsterdam is. Also European socialisms. Connect the dotz!!!!!

  23. qwerty42

    The child-like "logic" and "facts" she brings to her case are … uh, like those of all the other silly old fools we hear from on what currently parades itself as "conservative" commentary. I guess we can expect another 4 years of this nonsense.

  24. kakotechnia

    Marijuana will also increase our interception skills, making football so entertaining that we'll never see the New World Order coming.

  25. smellypossum

    I'm in Colorado, where as of Monday (at 4:20) we get a 25% discount on bongs AND teleprompters. Cheetos too.

    So, fuck all y'all!

  26. DahBoner

    I think the bigger lesson is that if YOU DON'T DO DRUGS you will wind up like that guy who DIDN'T BECOME PRESIDENT, you know that LOSER old what's his name…

  27. Tundra Grifter

    When I read a wing nutz' piece like this, I always think of "The Chief" – Robert Parrish.

    When he was busted for weed he was the oldest player in the N damn BA.

    PS: Wing Nutz Lady – When you quote (r)Money you overstate the number of unemployed persons in the US of A by something over 90%.

  28. valthemus

    I can't believe any conservative is still making teleprompter comments. Perhaps Cathie is still in denial and didn't notice Romney used a teleprompter on election night when he gave his hastily-written "I lost 'cause I'm a big fucking loser" speech.

  29. zippy_w_pinhead

    No wonder the wingnuts are always so angry- they got their asses handed to them by a stoner whose brains are fried. I'd be a little pissed if Jeff Spicoli bested me too…

  30. GoodDogThor

    haha, that graphic. I used to have it on a t-shirt. I would wear it to parties where many would indulge, and then we'd all go to Denny's.

  31. GoodDogThor

    Clarification: Drugs = just the bad ones. Not like Zoloft, methadone, Bud-Dry, Mexi-Coke, &c

    Related: Is Boehner on Restatis? Cuz his tear production is definitely not normal…

  32. GoodDogThor

    OT for Editrix: another autoplay ad, this time for our buddies at the Wall Street Journal:

  33. CindynEncinitas

    The most disciplined capitalists I knew in college were the Deadheads. They sold weed and some damned fine blow, never gave you a break on the price, and never fronted anything. And they all went to law school after they graduated. To a man.

  34. ttommyunger

    Marxist? Is that all they got? Really? Jesus, that's weak. I know the 'Tards and the bigots will buy it, but then they'd believe Bammers is a fucking Martian if Rush Lamebough said it.

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