THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON STUPID  9:16 am December 12, 2012

Wingnut Chick: Do Drugs and You Might End Up Like That Guy Who Became President

by Taylor Huffman

Maybe you’re on the fence when it comes to Marijuana legalization – you tried it at a Cranberries concert in the ’90s and didn’t understand all the fuss, but you’re worried your commute to work will be cluttered with one too many drum circles. Perhaps you hate the stuff, but you’re like, sooo anti-Fed you’d rather see states individually address the issue. Whatever silly reason you have for not wholeheartedly throwing your money and support behind the War on Drugs, former Texas (and current Texas Eagle Forum president) GOP Chair Cathie Adams will bring you to your senses with her watertight argument against Marijuana legalization: if you do drugs, you may not be able to memorize lengthy speeches while juggling the most intense workload of any professional in the country!

Speaking before a Grassroots America We the People “Call to Action” meeting, Adams highlighted what we can all expect should laws prohibiting drugs continue to soften:

…if we legalize it, will we empty out our jails and will we be safe for ever more? No. I’m telling you, Barack Hussein Obama has got to have a teleprompter because he fried his brain on drugs.

If we legalize drugs, more and more Americans may require teleprompters to make televised speeches to millions of people after attending nonstop meetings with foreign leaders and military strategists. Beyond needing a teleprompter to sort out his drug-addled brain, Barack Hussein Obama wants you to hit rock bottom so you’ll need a teleprompter too!

I don’t know why we’re not calling him what he is as a Marxist. It’s as if, when the wall fell that communism died; it didn’t. Today, it is green on the outside and red on the inside. It is as red as ever and Barack Obama is implementing his green agenda, which is Marxism, and that is exactly why our economy is hurting as badly as it is and why twenty three million people are still out of work.

That’s right – despite Obama’s Department of Justice and its aggressive and often unprecedented contributions to the War on Drugs, the President has a secret “green agenda” that promotes lax drug policies with the hope that the Feds can one day constantly stream Marxist propaganda to its vulnerable, drug scrambled citizens via government-issue teleprompter.

Suck on that, Colorado.

[Right Wing Watch]

 

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{ 156 comments }

Barbara_ December 12, 2012 at 9:19 am

George W didn't need a teleprompter. He had Cheney's hand up his ass to make his mouth move.

Dashboard Buddha December 12, 2012 at 9:41 am

And that was not the soft option, either.

local242thug December 12, 2012 at 10:17 am

dubya had them devise that stupid flip-book for his speeches, because he got cross-eyed and hypnotized and stopped talking every time he saw words moving up a screen.

and it was so subtle! you almost couldn't see him turning the pages as he broke for applause lines!

now that guy</> was a masterful speechifier. no drugs in that noggin. no sir.

Vecchiojohn December 12, 2012 at 10:34 am

All that cocaine and booze might explain why W couldn't tell Iran from Iraq.

Beetagger December 12, 2012 at 9:21 am

My own mother repeated this story to me last night. She is now buried in the backyard.

HistoriCat December 12, 2012 at 10:13 am

She's better off now.

Chow Yun Flat December 12, 2012 at 10:43 am

She is in a better place.

BlueMonkeh December 12, 2012 at 3:04 pm

It had to be done.

BadKitty904 December 12, 2012 at 9:22 am

This is the "respect for the office of the President" we heard so much about from the Neo-cons during Chimpy/Cheney's Reign of Error?

Rayn_And December 12, 2012 at 9:22 am

What?….sorry….Wasn't listening….a little trouble paying attention.

Guppy December 12, 2012 at 11:06 am

The mouth panties still distracting you?

BaldarTFlagass December 12, 2012 at 9:23 am

Oh wow man.

mavenmaven December 12, 2012 at 9:23 am

Smoke enough reefer and you can become president? Hey, Mitt, over here!

BadKitty904 December 12, 2012 at 9:24 am

That WOULD explain some of Rmoney's statements…

noodlesalad December 12, 2012 at 9:36 am

The trees are just…perfect, man. Like, the same height, like they knew how high to grow. Ha, I said high and grow in the same sentence!

SuspectedDemocrat December 12, 2012 at 9:57 am

And everything's so GREEN!

Kid_Charlemagne December 12, 2012 at 9:24 am

Little know fact, but Barry Bamz also blew his mind out in a car.

James Michael Curley December 12, 2012 at 9:27 am

He didn't notice that the light had changed.

NDeeeZ December 12, 2012 at 9:31 am

The crowds of people turned, well… out and voted for him a second time.
With ACTUAL votes.

Botlrokit December 12, 2012 at 9:24 am

Her writing skills are similar to that of pretty people.

skoalrebel December 12, 2012 at 9:25 am

Y'know, I've always found that drugs bring out the best in me. [spit!] But that's because I'm a true American, and not some kind of Kenyan Mooselimb. [spit!] After a hard day's work in the meth lab, I like to sit back and enjoy a little moonshine and a bit of oxycontin. [spit!] In the fine tradition of the Founders, I believe in no niggers, no homos, and no taxes on alcohol.

Redgyal December 12, 2012 at 9:55 am

Strange how the war on drugs isn't as tough on those drugs. Full disclaimer, I personally don't approve of any drug use at all. But hipocracy is sometimes as bad.

Vecchiojohn December 12, 2012 at 10:42 am

I'm glad that the children were here today to hear this fine example of authentic frontier gibberish. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ke5Mr5eCF2U

CindynEncinitas December 12, 2012 at 5:26 pm

"…where white lightnin's still the biggest thrill of all." Is it a thrill because it's ILLEGAL, Okies? Whose brains are scrambled now?

Loch_Nessosaur December 12, 2012 at 9:26 am

I prefer a side of ham with my marijuana eggs.

James Michael Curley December 12, 2012 at 9:29 am

"Psychedelic Eggs and Ham."
Dr. Suess changed the title because 'Psychedelic' had more than two syllables.

Dashboard Buddha December 12, 2012 at 9:39 am

I do not like you Cathie Wingnut
I do not like you on a bus
I do not like you when you fuss
I do not like you when you "think"
Twits like you drive me to drink.

Vecchiojohn December 12, 2012 at 10:43 am

We've found America's next poet laureate!

James Michael Curley December 12, 2012 at 9:26 am

Is this Cathie Adams from that family down the street with the tall, spooky looking butler?

Tundra Grifter December 12, 2012 at 11:11 am

Do do do do, [finger snap] [finger snap]

Do do do do, [finger snap] [finger snap]

MosesInvests December 12, 2012 at 11:26 am

You rang, Mrs. Addams?

valthemus December 12, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Cathie isn't from *that* Adams family… and yet she manages to be both creepy and kooky.

BaldarTFlagass December 12, 2012 at 9:26 am

Reading that word salad second blockquote paragraph of hers, I would say she could have used a keyboard-prompter.

James Michael Curley December 12, 2012 at 9:30 am

Or a little less of the maui-wowie.

Dashboard Buddha December 12, 2012 at 9:35 am

keyboard prompter…or at least adult supervision.

noodlesalad December 12, 2012 at 9:26 am

Doctors smoke it
Nurses smoke it
Presidents smoke it
Even the wingnuts too

Legalize it – don't criticize it

Esteev December 12, 2012 at 10:27 am

Word.

freakishlywrong December 12, 2012 at 9:26 am

Jesusfuck. The Marxist shit again. Blow smoke out yer ass, lady.

NDeeeZ December 12, 2012 at 9:34 am

Jesusfuck. Prompter shit again!

bikerlaureate December 12, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Elmira Gantry knows her audience.

lingin December 12, 2012 at 9:27 am

Someone's on drugs and it ain't the president.

Rebootably_Joe December 12, 2012 at 10:10 am

Or alternatively, should be.

Esteev December 12, 2012 at 10:29 am

That's not my bong.

BigSkullF*ckingDog December 12, 2012 at 9:27 am

So pot makes you a commie? I'm confused. Where the fuck is my teleprompter?

Rebootably_Joe December 12, 2012 at 9:48 am

I can offer a second data point! I totally smoked pot in college, and then five years after I graduated, plutocratic douchebags and the mainstreaming of hard-right rhetoric turned me into a socialist! If that's not an obvious case of cause and effect, I have no idea what is.

memzilla December 12, 2012 at 9:27 am

Looks like somebody's car elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.

Rebootably_Joe December 12, 2012 at 9:28 am

That is totally unfair! I mean, Republicans' Lord and Savior, Ronald Reagan used teleprompters while he was in office, and it's not as though that whole time, he was hiding some sort of neurodegenerative disorder that would have called into question his fitness to-

Oh, um, nevermind.

jodyleek December 12, 2012 at 9:48 am

That teleprompter was not there to help Ronny Raygun remember what to say, no. It was to remind him not to be too awesome!

bikerlaureate December 12, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Relevant yet again.

Is Cathie too ignorant to make an argument that doesn't ignore the past fifty years – or is it simply an unprincipled lust for power?

BaldarTFlagass December 12, 2012 at 9:28 am

Someone obviously "intercepted" her ability to think clearly and sensibly.

BigSkullF*ckingDog December 12, 2012 at 9:29 am

Drugs make you a Kenyan muslin socialist.

Estproph December 12, 2012 at 9:29 am

So, is Obama going to get on top of a skyscraper and jump off because he thinks he can fly, just like at the end of Reefer Madness? Or maybe drive too fast and run over someone? Or shoot someone at a party?

James Michael Curley December 12, 2012 at 10:04 am

Bamz will just toke up, sit down at a piano do some of that devil inspired jazz.

zippy_w_pinhead December 12, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Art Linkletter libel!1!

Chow Yun Flat December 12, 2012 at 9:29 am

Jump right from drug policy to the President is a Marxist–true wingnuttery.

freakishlywrong December 12, 2012 at 9:41 am

Well, she is a "Texas Eagle Forum president and a Grassroots America We the People “Call to Action” person. Really?

BaldarTFlagass December 12, 2012 at 9:29 am

His brain may be fried, but his mind is honey-roasted.

Loch_Nessosaur December 12, 2012 at 9:30 am

It's 4:20 – Do you know where your president is?

ZombieForceD December 12, 2012 at 10:19 am

I see what you did there.

Botlrokit December 12, 2012 at 9:30 am

I was so offended I wanted to go up and just smack his face.

Go ahead! We won't mind. Secret Service will pwn you so hard.

finallyhappy December 12, 2012 at 10:17 am

hey, he was being uppitty- when a black man glares at a white man in Texas- he can be shot legally by anyone

HistoriCat December 12, 2012 at 10:20 am

Oh – I would pay to see that beatdown!

Monsieur_Grumpe December 12, 2012 at 9:30 am

Where’s my free teleprompter?

jodyleek December 12, 2012 at 9:41 am

There's an app for that on your Obamaphone, dude.

Terry December 12, 2012 at 9:31 am

A related aside: I heard an item on NPR yesterday about the Colorado governor signing the document that makes personal use of pot legal in the state. The people there to celebrate where exactly the people you don't want to show up on the TV or radio. Duuuuuude……this is soooo cooool…..it's legal now…..I'm sooooo baked………

I never smoked pot not so much because my parents told me not to (they did) but because it seemed so stupid. The folks I knew who smoked would end up sitting around watching cartoons or some such thing and wasting a whole day or evening giggling. I had no desire to spend hours in a stinking basement eating junk food.

noodlesalad December 12, 2012 at 9:35 am

I hear ya, but I'd still feel safer in that crowd than in a crowd that was drunk. My guess is nobody was assaulted afterwards.

BadKitty904 December 12, 2012 at 9:50 am

Plus fewer assault rifles.

Terry December 12, 2012 at 9:59 am

True. They tend to lack energy until the run out of pot or junk food, then are on a bit of a mission.

I don't think pot is necessarily addictive, unless you are prone to addiction, but has made some people waste a good bit of time sometimes years.

noodlesalad December 12, 2012 at 10:04 am

True, Terry, but in that respect it's no different from video games, television or our beloved Wonket.

finallyhappy December 12, 2012 at 10:18 am

what- is this the internet?

James Michael Curley December 12, 2012 at 10:08 am

Some of us would toke up and fire up the motorcycle and do 80 mph down Boulevard of the Allies with renewed confidence we could make the turn into the Civic Arena in time for the concert.

ZombieForceD December 12, 2012 at 10:23 am

"I had no desire to spend hours in a stinking basement eating junk food." But that's a requirement for employment at NRO.

Guppy December 12, 2012 at 11:09 am

The folks I knew who smoked would end up sitting around watching cartoons or some such thing

Wait… that requires pot?

Also too: does this explain Dok's Brony proclivities?

JustPixelz December 12, 2012 at 9:31 am

"…fried his brain on drugs."

Please proceed Ms Adams.

He also fried bin Laden's brain … with votes bullets.

Wingers have fried their brains on Kochaine.

PubOption December 12, 2012 at 9:36 am

Numerous wingnut politicians have Kochaine running around in their pockets.

BadKitty904 December 12, 2012 at 9:44 am

AND kicked your candidate's ass. So, your point is….?

BigSkullF*ckingDog December 12, 2012 at 9:32 am

Cathie Adams looks like someone who never got the chance to do drugs because her peer group was busy shunning her for being such an awful person.

Chow Yun Flat December 12, 2012 at 9:32 am

Anyone calling Obama a Marxist shows complete ignorance of Marx. And, most likely, everything else.

finallyhappy December 12, 2012 at 10:19 am

I have heard that the President is a Marxist- and is especially fond of Harpo

TheGyrus December 12, 2012 at 10:57 am

People calling Obama a Marxist must really piss off actual Marxists.

doloras December 12, 2012 at 2:16 pm

It certainly does. An actual Marxist wouldn't be all with the drones or the market-based health insurance scheme or the keeping Bradley Manning in jail.

Dr_Zoidberg December 12, 2012 at 9:33 am

Is she on drugs? Because none of that made any sense, especially that 'green on the outside, red on the inside' shit.

LesBontemps December 12, 2012 at 9:52 am

It's a watermelon metaphor, because those people.

James Michael Curley December 12, 2012 at 10:10 am

Beat me to it. Champs!

Texan_Bulldog December 12, 2012 at 9:33 am

For Texas ladies, it's not the drugs that damage their brains. It's the Aqua Net haze from the 70s.

BaldarTFlagass December 12, 2012 at 9:34 am

Speaking of marijuana, you holding?

AlterNewt December 12, 2012 at 9:35 am

What's she talking about, man?

not that Dewey December 12, 2012 at 9:35 am

Everyone knows that the Soviet Union was one giant bong party, start to finish. Those dudes were high ALL THE TIME. Just ask Alexandr Solzhenitsyn.

James Michael Curley December 12, 2012 at 10:12 am

That's why One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich took so long.

not that Dewey December 12, 2012 at 10:18 am

Seriously — 172 pages to describe one day? His mind must have been elsewhere.

Esteev December 12, 2012 at 10:25 am

Musta been some quality shit, man.

James Michael Curley December 12, 2012 at 12:39 pm

It’s 210 in the original Russian, a copy of which I found at Dom Knigi in 1984 but was not allowed to purchase as I was almost out of rubles and black market exchanges were extremely dangerous those days.

ManchuCandidate December 12, 2012 at 9:36 am

It is as red as ever and Barack Obama is implementing his green agenda

So Barry's Santa Claus?

Rosie_Scenario December 12, 2012 at 10:11 am

Yup, giving all those "gifts" to the voters so that he could get elected. Per GOP, Mittens, also. too.

zippy_w_pinhead December 12, 2012 at 1:50 pm

that explains all those Obamaphones…

BaldarTFlagass December 12, 2012 at 9:39 am

Behind every good man there is a woman, and that woman was Michelle Obama, man, and everyday Barack would come home, she would have a big fat bowl waiting for him, man, when he come in the door, man, she was a hip, hip, hip lady, man.

ChillBill December 12, 2012 at 9:41 am

Cathie Adams is also the president of Texas Abstinence Club.

BadKitty904 December 12, 2012 at 9:52 am

As well as the Texas Temperance Union, fighting the pernicious influence of the Demon Rum.

James Michael Curley December 12, 2012 at 10:17 am

Let's hope its the Texas Absinthe Club and encourage heavy use.

pepperpat December 12, 2012 at 10:59 am

Thank [diety] for that!

Stevola December 12, 2012 at 9:41 am

"I don’t know why we’re not calling him what he is as a Marxist. "

She's right, no one has ever called President Obama a Marxist before.

BadKitty904 December 12, 2012 at 9:52 am

Certainly no one who knows what the term "Marxist" actually means.

weejee December 12, 2012 at 9:42 am

/ snark

About an eighth of the prison population is there for pot violations. Over $1B per year for this freakin' misguided nonsense.

/ snark on

There were three Conservetards, chillin' and sharing a doobie when…

Esteev December 12, 2012 at 10:31 am

Did you say "eighth"?

ChillBill December 12, 2012 at 9:43 am

"Dude, where is my teleprompter?"

CindynEncinitas December 12, 2012 at 5:30 pm

And where has Prommie been?

Mahousu December 12, 2012 at 9:43 am

Today, it is green on the outside and red on the inside.

Jeez, more watermelon jokes.

christianmuslin December 12, 2012 at 9:43 am

Teleprompters, according to the nytimes, have been in use for some time Ms Cunt Eagle. In fact, president Dwight Eisenhower was the first US president to use one. He used it for a State of the Union speech. Are we then to take as fact that Ike blew out his brains on drugs while having sex with his biographer when he was stationed in Europe?

EatsBabyDingos December 12, 2012 at 9:44 am

I am now going to go fire up the six footer and put on "A Concert for Bangledesh" and jam on some Ravi. Now he jams with George again.

LesBontemps December 12, 2012 at 10:14 am

All things must pass, dude. Speaking of which, pass that spliff, bro.

Chow Yun Flat December 12, 2012 at 9:44 am

Barack Hussein Obama glared at Mitt Romney in that last debate, I was so offended I wanted to go up and just smack his face.

Possible replacements for redacted phrase:

a) have him ravish me
b) lynch him

Botlrokit December 12, 2012 at 9:46 am

You know what's really offensive to me? Knowing Bush couldn't read his teleprompter.

BadKitty904 December 12, 2012 at 9:54 am

Maybe if they'd've put "My Pet Goat" on it…

BadKitty904 December 12, 2012 at 9:46 am

Bless her heart.

BaldarTFlagass December 12, 2012 at 9:46 am

I've said it before and will probably do so again, but Obama really really needs to grow him out a big ol' Anger-Fro. That would freak these people's shit out.

CleverSobriquet December 12, 2012 at 10:20 am

and start peppering his speaches with the liberal use of "muthafuckkas".

Chow Yun Flat December 12, 2012 at 9:47 am

Hey man, Barrack's not here…

LesBontemps December 12, 2012 at 9:50 am

Marxist? That word does not mean what you think it means. I think the word you are looking for is "nigger."

glamourdammerung December 12, 2012 at 1:36 pm

"Marxist", like "socialist" apparently does not mean anything more than something Republicans were told to dislike by Fox, hate radio, and bad email forwards in between whining about how everyone else does not "think for themselves".

BornInATrailer December 12, 2012 at 9:55 am

I thought the talking point was 24 million people out of work?

Oh, right.

Esteev December 12, 2012 at 10:03 am

I wonder if at the end of Obama's second term if he will remove his mask to reveal that he is indeed Marx.

finallyhappy December 12, 2012 at 10:21 am

Chico, Harpo, Groucho or….Zeppo?

Esteev December 12, 2012 at 10:23 am

Who cares? You just know it's gonna be a hoot either way!

HistoriCat December 12, 2012 at 10:27 am

As long as it's not Richard.

Pat_Pending December 12, 2012 at 10:22 am

Hopefully Gummo.

kakotechnia December 12, 2012 at 10:34 am

Better, Engels.

Tio_Doidinho December 12, 2012 at 10:05 am

So…all those wind turbines are just drug toys?

LesBontemps December 12, 2012 at 10:10 am

Windmills are from Holland, man. And that's where Amsterdam is. Also European socialisms. Connect the dotz!!!!!

James Michael Curley December 12, 2012 at 10:22 am

Don't forget the maryjewwanna cafes.

qwerty42 December 12, 2012 at 10:20 am

The child-like "logic" and "facts" she brings to her case are … uh, like those of all the other silly old fools we hear from on what currently parades itself as "conservative" commentary. I guess we can expect another 4 years of this nonsense.

HistoriCat December 12, 2012 at 10:27 am

It's never getting any better dude – sorry.

HistoriCat December 12, 2012 at 10:22 am

Canadian Socializm!!

viennawoods13 December 12, 2012 at 11:26 am

We're all in this together- gotta be socialist.

kyeshinka December 12, 2012 at 10:28 am

Of course Obama's stoned. How else are you supposed to watch the Santa Clause movies with your kids?

kakotechnia December 12, 2012 at 10:28 am

Marijuana will also increase our interception skills, making football so entertaining that we'll never see the New World Order coming.

LibertyLover December 12, 2012 at 10:49 am

I haz hunger for about ah… 1000 tacos, Dude!

smellypossum December 12, 2012 at 10:50 am

I'm in Colorado, where as of Monday (at 4:20) we get a 25% discount on bongs AND teleprompters. Cheetos too.

So, fuck all y'all!

DahBoner December 12, 2012 at 10:56 am

I think the bigger lesson is that if YOU DON'T DO DRUGS you will wind up like that guy who DIDN'T BECOME PRESIDENT, you know that LOSER old what's his name…

pepperpat December 12, 2012 at 10:57 am

So communism is just like Christmas? Awesome.

Tundra Grifter December 12, 2012 at 11:15 am

When I read a wing nutz' piece like this, I always think of "The Chief" – Robert Parrish.

When he was busted for weed he was the oldest player in the N damn BA.

PS: Wing Nutz Lady – When you quote (r)Money you overstate the number of unemployed persons in the US of A by something over 90%.

DahBoner December 12, 2012 at 11:35 am

Anyone else know what's green on the outside and red on the inside???

#tcot December 12, 2012 at 1:07 pm

That one alien chick from Star Trek?

Amanwithnoplan December 12, 2012 at 11:43 am

O Please why are not the death panels real. I would so sign her up immediately.

iburl December 12, 2012 at 12:02 pm

Hmmm, do I want to be more like Obama or Romney… hmmmm….

sullivanst December 12, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Who knew Mitt Romney (who?) spent his whole youth stoned out of his freakin' mind.

Chet Kincaid_ December 12, 2012 at 12:30 pm

Guys, they're never going to stop. Did we stop after the 2004 election?

not that Dewey December 12, 2012 at 2:05 pm

You're right. Let's just make fun of 14-year-olds from now on.

valthemus December 12, 2012 at 1:26 pm

I can't believe any conservative is still making teleprompter comments. Perhaps Cathie is still in denial and didn't notice Romney used a teleprompter on election night when he gave his hastily-written "I lost 'cause I'm a big fucking loser" speech.

zippy_w_pinhead December 12, 2012 at 1:55 pm

No wonder the wingnuts are always so angry- they got their asses handed to them by a stoner whose brains are fried. I'd be a little pissed if Jeff Spicoli bested me too…

GoodDogThor December 12, 2012 at 1:56 pm

haha, that graphic. I used to have it on a t-shirt. I would wear it to parties where many would indulge, and then we'd all go to Denny's.

GoodDogThor December 12, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Clarification: Drugs = just the bad ones. Not like Zoloft, methadone, Bud-Dry, Mexi-Coke, &c

Related: Is Boehner on Restatis? Cuz his tear production is definitely not normal…

GoodDogThor December 12, 2012 at 2:17 pm

OT for Editrix: another autoplay ad, this time for our buddies at the Wall Street Journal: buy.wsj.com

CindynEncinitas December 12, 2012 at 5:29 pm

The most disciplined capitalists I knew in college were the Deadheads. They sold weed and some damned fine blow, never gave you a break on the price, and never fronted anything. And they all went to law school after they graduated. To a man.

lochnessmonster December 12, 2012 at 5:40 pm

That explains Romney, Ryan and Rubios problems cuz THEY ALL use TelePrompTers!

BZ1 December 12, 2012 at 10:01 pm

Just one look at Cathie Adams, the wild-eyed crazy, puts her delusions in perspective.

ttommyunger December 13, 2012 at 8:14 am

Marxist? Is that all they got? Really? Jesus, that's weak. I know the 'Tards and the bigots will buy it, but then they'd believe Bammers is a fucking Martian if Rush Lamebough said it.

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