MOVING ON  4:10 pm December 11, 2012

Charlie Crist With New Party After Two Years Single

by Taylor Huffman

That's right, Editrix had to hold her jaw on with her handCharlie Crist used the Twitter to announce he’s switching his political affiliation to Democrat late last week, but you were probably just fine even if you forgot to take your heart meds because the news was about as surprising as, well, Charlie Crist announcing he’s a Democrat.

Crist, a former wax figurine of Steve Martin at Madame Tussauds London, entered politics after a stray bolt of lightning animated him, charring his edges and rendering him incapable of portraying Steve Martin in wax. His time as Governor of Florida was littered with distinct clues predicting his recent defection, like his radical leftist position on the amount of poison people should pump in the air and that time he visited the Florida NAACP.

Recently, Crist has been a teensy bit more obvious about his “strictly platonic” lovefest with the Democratic party, not only speaking at the Democratic National Convention in Charlotte but openly cavorting with heathens in attendance who definitely don’t look like they’re trying really hard to hold their face together (pictured above). And just look at how much he loves the Obama pizza guy that gives those wicked hugs! Still, the Florida GOP isn’t happy about Crist’s triumph over his fear of “official labels”; after Crist’s announcement, the state party shot back with this character attack:

“Charlie Crist has the ability to meld into any character — from ‘Chain Gang Charlie’ to sympathetic ‘Man of the People’ — there is seemingly no role that he can’t play…”

And this!

“The truth is that this self-professed, Ronald-Reagan Republican only abandoned his pro-life, pro-gun, conservative principles in 2010 after he realized that Republicans didn’t want to send him to Washington D.C. as a senator, especially after he proved he couldn’t do the job as governor.”

So, take that, Charlie. Yeah, sure, you guys broke up in 2010 and it hurt at the time, but Florida Republicans want you to know they are SO OVER you. They don’t care who you’re with now. (By the way, is he still with that lady he got engaged to so he could be John McCain’s VP? There is simply no way we can ever know.)

[Salon/Miami Herald]

 
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{ 136 comments }

el_donaldo December 11, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Does his Facebook relationship status still say "It's complicated"?

BaldarTFlagass December 11, 2012 at 4:16 pm

"You cannot be in a relationship with yourself."

BadKitty904 December 11, 2012 at 4:17 pm

You can try.

BaldarTFlagass December 11, 2012 at 4:24 pm

No. My quote is what FB will tell you if you try.

widestanceromance December 11, 2012 at 4:25 pm

But, in the end, you're going to be doing all the work to keep yourself together.

Tundra Grifter December 11, 2012 at 4:25 pm

You mean I've been wrong all these years?

I thought that's what people ment when they said "You're dating yourself."

viennawoods13 December 11, 2012 at 7:40 pm

I told a work colleague of mine (NOT a friend) that he is "autosexual". He actually thought that was probably correct.

el_donaldo December 11, 2012 at 4:28 pm

I've been to paradise.
But I've never been to me.

BadKitty904 December 11, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Damned Apple Maps…

sullivanst December 11, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Hopefully "Me" is nowhere near "Mildura".

HogeyeGrex December 11, 2012 at 5:30 pm

Well, Paradise is about KY, not ME.

Lascauxcaveman December 11, 2012 at 5:35 pm

I've actually been to Paradise, MT, on a motorcycle trip out to Flathead Lake.

Now, Paradise is nice enough little hamlet, and close to Flathead Lake, but I'd have to say Flathead Lake is closer to paradise than Paradise is.

Blueb4sinrise December 11, 2012 at 4:15 pm

So, you're suggesting that 'Becca got him to switch teams?

sullivanst December 11, 2012 at 4:19 pm

That was also the trip where she got Newell to switch teams to "now a… what is it now?… oh, NY Observer columnist"

VodkaGoGo December 11, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Just don't ever refer to her as 'Ripped Rebecca' or SHIT WILL GET REAL UP IN HERE.

sullivanst December 11, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Is 'Tripped Trix' similarly unsafe?

VodkaGoGo December 11, 2012 at 4:48 pm

That one I'm not sure about, you'll have to consult DC Fishbowls archives.

Tundra Grifter December 11, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Or just to start hitting from the other side of the plate.

Now that's he a Democrat and all…

Weedlord BonerHitler December 11, 2012 at 7:05 pm

She has that effect on a lot of people. Or so I hear.

Schmannnity December 11, 2012 at 4:15 pm

2014 Florida Governor's Race: Voldemort vs. Bob Barker.

sullivanst December 11, 2012 at 4:15 pm

This is almost as surprising a party defection as Arlen Specter's.

Almost.

OneDollarJuana December 11, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Charlise Christ is about as Democrat as the two Washington State Dems who are caucusing with the Republican party. FOAD, Charlie. With votes.

emmelemm December 11, 2012 at 4:34 pm

I would like to see those guys skullfucked with rusty chainsaws. NOT VOTES.

ETA: Hypothetically.

BigSkullF*ckingDog December 11, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Those guys need to be done Washington style.*

*Sodomized with a geoduck and then thrown naked from the top of the Space Needle.

… with votes?

emmelemm December 11, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Damn, girl! I like the way you think.

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 11, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Just get Sheldon and Tom to gay marry each other, then they will see the light.

OneDollarJuana December 11, 2012 at 5:33 pm

It's legal now!

Lascauxcaveman December 11, 2012 at 5:46 pm

Jeesz, those two dicks. Don't their D constituents know they're never supposed to vote for guys with two first names? One from the only exclusively 1%er enclave in the state, and the other from the inbred Ozarks on the Olympic Peninsula. Fuck 'em.

Weedlord BonerHitler December 11, 2012 at 7:59 pm

Or you could sodomize them with the Space Needle and throw them off a geoduck.

Wut? You *could.*

Guppy December 11, 2012 at 5:12 pm

He's a Democrat with respect to the RPOF.

It's all relative.

BaldarTFlagass December 11, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Who's that hottie he's hangin' with? Hubba hubba!

gullywompr December 11, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Wish I had the chance to make Trix make that face. Charlie Crist is a golden god.

sullivanst December 11, 2012 at 4:26 pm

True fact: the camera was in perfect focus, it was the acid Trix was tripping out on made the picture blurry.

Weedlord BonerHitler December 11, 2012 at 8:00 pm

Sounds to me like half of y'all have a major crush on BeccaLou. (hides Editrix' photo, zips up pants)

Buncha wankers.

Schmannnity December 11, 2012 at 4:19 pm

The beard/wife.

BadKitty904 December 11, 2012 at 4:27 pm

That IS a mighty cute pic!

kittensdontlie December 11, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Whoever you are, I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.–Trixy

HRH_Maddie December 11, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Charlie Christ Finally Comes Out *As A Democrat* is not how I expected that headline to end.

Weedlord BonerHitler December 11, 2012 at 8:00 pm

Me either. Very disappointed.

Lot_49 December 11, 2012 at 4:16 pm

One quality more important than sexual or party affiliation, career advancement or accumulated net worth, always seems to emerge in people like Crist: the desire to be talked about.

And if the goobernor of NJ crosses over, we can start chanting: Chris Christie/Crist 2016!

BadKitty904 December 11, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Speaking o' which, whatever happened to Mark Foley, anyways?

Callyson December 11, 2012 at 4:35 pm

I got curious–from Wiki:

After leaving Congress, Foley entered the real estate business in Palm Beach, Florida. He also came out publicly, and as of 2007 was in a relationship with a Palm Beach dermatologist, Layne Nisenbaum. On September 22, 2009, Foley debuted as host in his own radio show, "Foley on Politics," on Seaview AM 960 in North Palm Beach, Florida.

So in other words, he did the same thing every other Republican does upon leaving office.

Lot_49 December 11, 2012 at 4:40 pm

Dr Nisenbaum changed his name from "Lance Fairskin" as it was just too gay.

BaldarTFlagass December 11, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Shoulda gone with "Lanced Foreskin."

Baconzgood December 11, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Jeeze GOP. Sour grapes much?

RedStatePinko December 11, 2012 at 4:18 pm

RINO the DINO!

edgydrifter December 11, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Charlie looked at Miss Lindsey and he looked at the Log Cabin Republicans, and he finally decided that life is too short to be self-loathing.

BadKitty904 December 11, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Plus Dems are *way* cuter.

BaldarTFlagass December 11, 2012 at 4:18 pm

"Florida Republicans want you to know they are SO OVER you."

Yeah, that guy they got now is quite an improvement. At least for the beaten-wife-syndrome wing of the party.

Crank_Tango December 11, 2012 at 4:18 pm

…Not so fast, ham biscuits.

Monsieur_Grumpe December 11, 2012 at 4:20 pm

The Democrat party just a little gayer and a lot more orange.

HRH_Maddie December 11, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Only slightly. Boehner is still a registered Republican.

Guppy December 11, 2012 at 5:14 pm

I'm picturing him and Boehner squaring off with orange-tinted chakras, Dragonball Z-style.

(There's your homoeroticism!)

Negropolis December 11, 2012 at 10:45 pm

"Democrat" party? Let's not even do that in jest. lol

jello_mold December 11, 2012 at 4:20 pm

His neocortex is acting up.

SorosBot December 11, 2012 at 4:24 pm

And here I thought Charlie was a bipartisan; but I guess that was just a phase while he was not quite ready to out himself and admit he was a full-on closet Democrat.

SayItWithWookies December 11, 2012 at 4:25 pm

I think the last straw was when Mitt Romney showed up to the Telemundo debate with the obviously gratuitous spray-tan — as a legitimate Tangelo-American, Charlie just couldn't handle the pandering.

BaldarTFlagass December 11, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Well, he certainly is one wild and crazy guy.

BaldarTFlagass December 11, 2012 at 4:26 pm

So, I guess the Florida GOP must have un-friended him on the facebook.

BadKitty904 December 11, 2012 at 4:30 pm

I bet they didn't send him a Christmas card, EITHER!

Toomush_Infer December 11, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Maybe a Holiday Greeting…

elviouslyqueer December 11, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Well, this connection between butthurt and Charlie Crist wasn't exactly what I expected.

BadKitty904 December 11, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Ew. I mean, I have no prob with daddies, but…ew.

DahBoner December 11, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Wonkette meets the nicest guys next to the PARKING IN REAR signs…

JackDempsey1 December 11, 2012 at 4:30 pm

I bet this guy's life is just one partially-unzipped lanyard after another.

Callyson December 11, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Um, is Crist shaking out editrix' hand or trying to feel her up?

Blueb4sinrise December 11, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Send C.C. a complimentary pair of panties!!!

#tcot December 11, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Manties!

Rebootably_Joe December 11, 2012 at 4:31 pm

pro-life, pro-gun conservative principles

.

Callyson December 11, 2012 at 4:32 pm

“Charlie Crist has the ability to meld into any character — from ‘Chain Gang Charlie’ to sympathetic ‘Man of the People’ — there is seemingly no role that he can’t play…”

Hmmm, who does that remind me of? Didn't some guy just like that run for President or something?

BadKitty904 December 11, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Who *also* had a weird-ass tan…

BaldarTFlagass December 11, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Total win.

VodkaGoGo December 11, 2012 at 4:44 pm

It's Reagan right? Tell me It's Reagan. It's totally Reagan.

Callyson December 11, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Also, too…

HogeyeGrex December 11, 2012 at 5:38 pm

Except that with him, there was seemingly no role he could play, convincingly at least.

bikerlaureate December 11, 2012 at 7:29 pm

It's a public statement from Republicans, so every electron is swimming in projection.

Baconzgood December 11, 2012 at 4:33 pm

I guess his GOP girlfriend just got to psyco for him.

Ground Zero Mostel December 11, 2012 at 4:36 pm

What is this snide-remarks about closeted gays day?

elviouslyqueer December 11, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Scalia's closested?

widestanceromance December 11, 2012 at 5:11 pm

He's still keeping the seat warm for Mehlman. Wait, ew.

#tcot December 11, 2012 at 4:58 pm

In other words, "Tuesday."

Negropolis December 11, 2012 at 10:46 pm

Day?

Joshua Norton December 11, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Florida Republicans want you to know they are SO OVER you.

Technical term is "douch-bag remorse".

TootsStansbury December 11, 2012 at 4:39 pm

OT and I know I am way late to the party, but ladies, if we are wearing the Wonkette panties and get in an accident, the EMTs will laff so hard they might drop us!

shelwood46 December 11, 2012 at 6:32 pm

Yeah, and don't delude yourself into thinking they are too mature to talk about that stuff. It would come up at their holiday party every year until the end of time.

BaldarTFlagass December 11, 2012 at 4:40 pm

Also, that alt text kills!

BaldarTFlagass December 11, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Naked… and stoned!!

Dr. Matt December 11, 2012 at 4:47 pm

He's still joining the Democrat Party even though OBummer is taxing his addiction to tanning beds?! Wowzer!

BarackMyWorld December 11, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Wow…Rebecca looks thrilled as fuck to be posing with the former governor….what's the bad man got on you, fearless leader?

TootsStansbury December 11, 2012 at 5:06 pm

I think at that point she thought she was meeting a giant purple rabbit in a Batman suit. Who was speaking French and smelled llike d minor.

HogeyeGrex December 11, 2012 at 5:41 pm

Fear and Loathing in Fort Lauderdale?

An_Outhouse December 11, 2012 at 8:05 pm

acid.

christianmuslin December 11, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Boner will cry now that Dems have their own shade of orange.

Does this mean both Cuomo and Crist will be on the cold fried chicken circuit for the presidential election in 2016?

Hilary, you must run. Crist cannot be both vice-president and First Lady.

sullivanst December 11, 2012 at 5:05 pm

Oh grief. If Cuomo's the nominee, I'll go bankrupt when the credit cards I use to buy scotch come due.

Stevola December 12, 2012 at 1:09 am

Boner will cry anyway

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 11, 2012 at 4:55 pm

So, after the 'baggers go after Miss Lindsey, is he going to come out, as a Democrat, too?

el_donaldo December 11, 2012 at 5:11 pm

Once you've gone the out-'bagging the 'baggers route, it's pretty hard to come around to the other side.

Goonemeritus December 11, 2012 at 4:57 pm

Welcome Charlie you’ll love being a Democrat. We are so big tent that none of my precinct bosses has ever given me shit about my “I Like Ike” Button.

VodkaGoGo December 11, 2012 at 5:05 pm

Enough about Charlie Crist, tell me more about this device the power companies don't want me to know about?

cousinitt December 11, 2012 at 5:12 pm

The OFF switch.

Guppy December 11, 2012 at 5:17 pm
VodkaGoGo December 11, 2012 at 5:42 pm

This be witchcraft!!!

Stevola December 12, 2012 at 1:16 am

Trippy

Guppy December 11, 2012 at 5:06 pm

In the picture, which one is the hot mess again?

elviouslyqueer December 11, 2012 at 5:50 pm

Both of them, Katie.

*air kisses Becks*

OneYieldRegular December 11, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Thanks to the Florida GOP, I'm unlikely ever again to use the name "Ronald-Reagan" without hyphenating it.

Yellerdawg December 11, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Yay! Now we got our own orange-ish dude!

JackDempsey1 December 11, 2012 at 5:17 pm

The daily upkeep is not worth the cost.
He orders neatsfoot oil by the barrel.

sewollef December 11, 2012 at 5:07 pm

"Image 20120905_235542"

Is that all you got for us Taylor…. particular with that lovely lady in the photograph?

natl_[redacted]_cmdr December 11, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Charlie Crist: It gets better.

BadKitty904 December 11, 2012 at 5:58 pm

*applauds*

natl_[redacted]_cmdr December 11, 2012 at 6:22 pm

*bows, scratches badkitty behind ear*

BadKitty904 December 11, 2012 at 6:34 pm

*purrs*

natl_[redacted]_cmdr December 11, 2012 at 6:44 pm

Success!

pdiddycornchips December 11, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Where is he taking 'Becca and why does she look like she's about to faint?

#tcot December 11, 2012 at 5:38 pm

Roofies have that effect. Or so I've heard.

Jukesgrrl December 11, 2012 at 6:17 pm

It was HOT in Charlotte and he wouldn't share his orange-tinted sun blocker?

BadKitty904 December 11, 2012 at 10:04 pm

So. Much. Orange.

Lazy Media December 11, 2012 at 5:54 pm

Who invited HER?

Botlrokit December 11, 2012 at 5:59 pm

Now he should convince Lindsey Graham to come out and switch sides, and quit his stupid little pantomime.

BadKitty904 December 11, 2012 at 6:09 pm

I think Miss Lindsey would be happier coming out, but I'm not certain we necessarily want her on our side…

bitchincamaro2 December 11, 2012 at 6:06 pm

Who among us, has not "…littered with distinct clues predicting his recent defecation…"?

I ax you!

Jukesgrrl December 11, 2012 at 6:10 pm

You can learn to play a lot of parts spending a lifetime in the costume closet.

As for the former governor's current marital status, all ya gotta do is Google "Charlie Crist's wedding," Mr. or Ms. Taylor Huffman. When you wait until age 52 to be wed (the first marriage that lasted less than a year doesn't count apparently), you do it quite formally, so there are lots of pix, including nice ones of the protesters outside. Apparently teh gheys take offense when you have a lavish wedding after telling them they aren't allowed. Teh blahs also gathered to shout and I suspect they had more than one reason.
http://www.tampabay.com/blogs/the-buzz-florida-po

rickmaci December 11, 2012 at 6:51 pm

Charlie has a nice looking beard.

BlueStateLibel December 11, 2012 at 6:20 pm

I see his pastime is sneaking up on people in parking garages and startling the crap out of them.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr December 11, 2012 at 6:23 pm
Negropolis December 11, 2012 at 10:57 pm

I still can't figure out if his moves through the political spectrum are more cynical or more pragmatic, but he doesn't seem harmful, so I welcome him warily, but welcome, nonetheless.

BZ1 December 11, 2012 at 11:25 pm

Apparently the wife is still there, whether it is a cardboard cutout, no one is sure.

Stevola December 12, 2012 at 1:21 am

Crist and the GOOP: They will never, ever, get back together.

There sure are a lot of Taylors around here lately.

ttommyunger December 13, 2012 at 8:23 am

Seeing that pix proves he's got teh ghey; otherwise that left hand would be groping 'Becca's fine ass.

sullivanst December 11, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Good grief Betsy Rothstein seems totes catty, in a way that suggests to me the possibility of raging jealousy. Also, she quite clearly has a severe lack of reading comprehension, which makes one wonder how she apparently got a job writing about what other people have written.

Lascauxcaveman December 11, 2012 at 5:49 pm

Hey, what these people do in the privacy of their own operating rooms is their own business.

Weedlord BonerHitler December 11, 2012 at 7:12 pm

I was going to say, "Sully, my good fellow, you slime the charming young lady," but having finally read through her dreck to the end I suspect you're right. Although she did uncat a bit later on, din't she?

sullivanst December 11, 2012 at 7:30 pm

Maybe at the very very end when she uses a fairly neutral tone to basically call Our Beccs a liar and a drunk, that was less catty than the rest of it, but that came immediately after the paragraph where she said that Trix should be sent on a remedial writing course. Reowr!

Note to Betsy: Just because you don't understand, doesn't mean it doesn't make sense.

Weedlord BonerHitler December 11, 2012 at 7:51 pm

Oh, that was sheer twaddle. I think she was trying to be oh-so-very-very, and failing miserably, but that's just an opinion. In the event, she is not worthy to polish BeccaLou's tootsies, not even with her tongue a la Dick Morris and his ladies of a different profession.

And yes, you're quite right. She should've kept her gob shut and not revealed her inability to understand BeccaLou's Best, the dolt.

Negropolis December 11, 2012 at 10:42 pm

We have autosexuals here in Michigan. Human-automobile sex and marriage is still outlawed, but hell if that stops them from trying.

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