FEAR OF A BLACK PLANET  2:40 pm December 10, 2012

Barack Obama Way Worse Slaveholder Than Actual Slaveholders, Obviously

by snipy

"Propinquity"Oh hi there readers. Whatcha doing? Stuff? Work stuff? Fun stuff? Sexytime stuff? Are you in the Midwest and digging yourself out of a million inches of snow? Why not take a break and go read this delightful 2388-word (YES WE COUNTED THEM. ok, actually, we just cut and pasted them into Word, which counted them for us) article over at American Thinker? It starts out in a really promising fashion:

Thomas Jefferson owned about six hundred slaves over the course of his life. That is to say, he was involved in denying individual sovereignty to six hundred people. Barack Obama, by comparison, wishes to deny individual sovereignty to over three hundred million people. And yet according to the left, Jefferson should be dismissed as a hypocrite, and one of the noblest documents ever written reduced to the status of mere “politics,” whereas Obama, who seeks to destroy that document, ought to be seen as a champion of equality and fairness.

Hmmmm…sounds compelling and innovative. Obama is way more slaveholdery than actual slaveholders. Let’s see how this argument fleshes out, shall we? This being American Thinker, it is sure to be incredibly well-reasoned and coherent. There is no doubt that by the end of this article, we will totally understand how Obama is all slave-y and how owning actual people does NOT make you slave-y:

Property is a derivation from what Jefferson, following Locke and others, termed the right to life. A human being, as an animal, has a natural inclination to self-preservation; however, as a rational being, this inclination is not simply an instinct, but initiates a moral imperative, i.e., it becomes a matter of choosing to live in accordance with his nature, first and foremost by preserving himself.

Um, OK. So Locke and Jefferson invented property, and humans are animals (DO NOT TELL DENNIS PRAEGER THIS). We’re still not getting to the part where Obummer enslaves us all with healthcare or debt or something. Let’s keep going. (Readers, we’re doing you a solid here and skipping over the approximately one million paragraphs that wouldn’t be out of place in a sophomore philosophy class. Sample sentence: “Slavery is self-refuting, as it contradicts the foundation of property rights, namely that a human being owns himself.” Thank us later.) After the “reading Locke while high and then writing about it” portion of the article passes, we get to the super-duper well-reasoned conclusion:

Jefferson was a man who opposed slavery at its root — its incompatibility with the basis of private property, namely individual sovereignty — but who found himself unable to undo the societal wrong in his lifetime, or even to extricate his own life from its taint. His ideas and his words paved the way for many great developments, not least of which was the end of slavery in America. His principled hope was achieved, albeit belatedly.

Obama, on the contrary, is a man who embraces the core principle of slavery — the denial of individual sovereignty, i.e., self-ownership. His main difference on this score from the slave owners of the past is that, rather than pursuing the contradiction of defending private property while simultaneously defiling it, Obama merely wishes to undo property itself, thus rendering enslavement a universal principle of government.

Jefferson actually owned people, but later on some people read some Jefferson and thought that owning people might not be cool, so, ipso facto ergo, Jefferson freed all the slaves, including his own retroactively like magic. The Kenyan socialist pretender will take your monies and give them to other people via a scary thing called “taxes” so, also, too, Obama wants to own all the people in America. THAT IS AN AIRTIGHT SYLLOGISM GODDAMMIT.  To sum up: war is peace, ignorance is strength (which makes those motherfuckers at American Thinker incredibly strong) and freedom is slavery. The end.

[American Thinker]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 194 comments }

Lucidamente1 December 10, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Ok, so who's Obama's Sally Hemings?

chicken_thief December 10, 2012 at 2:51 pm

So in a few years we'll have half a dozen "Obama's" in the NBA?

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 10, 2012 at 2:55 pm

All of us, Katie?

gingerland62 December 10, 2012 at 3:02 pm

Orly Taitz

Toomush_Infer December 10, 2012 at 3:04 pm

I so hope it's John Boehner…. oh let it be, my unstill heart….

I_P December 10, 2012 at 3:05 pm

My wife would be if I'd let her…

rmjagg December 10, 2012 at 4:27 pm

sarah palin , if he'd let her

Shannon Hubbell December 10, 2012 at 8:02 pm

A Muslim gay guy Obama had knocked off, of course!

natl_[redacted]_cmdr December 10, 2012 at 8:11 pm

Hillary.

Redgyal December 10, 2012 at 11:02 pm

Jan brewer

Negropolis December 11, 2012 at 1:46 am

Scarlet Johansson? Dear god, let it be Scarlet.

EnnuiThereYet? December 11, 2012 at 5:17 am

Tucker Carlson

BaldarTFlagass December 10, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Well, at least Obama hasn't come around and checked my teeth for soundness or said "Yes, that's a good strong buck that will do well in the fields."

mookwrthwilson December 10, 2012 at 2:45 pm

He will…he did it to me the Friday after Thanksgiving…not pleasant at all..

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 10, 2012 at 2:59 pm

It was the branding that I didn't like.

actor212 December 10, 2012 at 3:06 pm

*shudder*

I hope he makes it around here soon…

Toomush_Infer December 10, 2012 at 3:05 pm

Is tooth checking included in Obamacare?…

Veritas78 December 10, 2012 at 5:12 pm

Only for big bucks.

Guppy December 10, 2012 at 6:34 pm

No, just vaccinations, some blood work, annual check-ups and the like. Only Betty Windsor is socialist enough to do that to her slaves.

rmjagg December 10, 2012 at 4:29 pm

you forgot ' and well-hung , will provide good baby slaves '

Come here a minute December 10, 2012 at 2:42 pm

The writer of this article finds himself unable to extricate his head from his taint.

Nibbler of Niblonia December 10, 2012 at 3:47 pm

what do you expect from somebody who resorts to use of the phrase "that is to say" in the second sentence?

don't "that is to say" it, just "say it."

rmjagg December 10, 2012 at 4:29 pm

they are one and the same

PeaceWithHonor December 10, 2012 at 2:44 pm

But what does this have to do with human/animal hybrids?

snowpointsecret December 10, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Obama is taking your money, so that's slavery! Money is people too!

But wait, the person who wrote this article owns money.

And so do we, I'm sure.

OH MY GOD WE'RE ALL SLAVE OWNERS YOU GUYS!

actor212 December 10, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Dibs on Editrix!

Lucidamente1 December 10, 2012 at 2:50 pm

As slave or mistress?

Boojum December 10, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Wait, there's a difference?

Toomush_Infer December 10, 2012 at 3:07 pm

But I don't own any money – my wife only lets me hold onto some once in a while so I can remember what it feels like….

RedneckMuslin December 10, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Um, sorry, someone has to be the slave.

BlueMonkeh December 10, 2012 at 2:45 pm

lol…"taint"

Callyson December 10, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Property is a derivation from what Jefferson, following Locke and others, termed the right to life.

Then how on earth are all the poorz still among us?

PubOption December 10, 2012 at 2:51 pm

The right to life includes the right to live in poverty.

Toomush_Infer December 10, 2012 at 3:07 pm

They're hanging around, waiting to inherit….

rickmaci December 10, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Property are people too my friend.

Nibbler of Niblonia December 10, 2012 at 3:49 pm

the poor in America actually have it pretty good. many of them own cell phones, large-screen TVs, and themselves.

malsperanza December 10, 2012 at 5:11 pm

Themselves is a very valuable asset. If they only had the good sense to get a mortgage on themselves, or maybe a self-equity loan with a floating rate, they could pay off the house and the car and send their kids to college, without being dependent on the government for all that.

Better yet, they could mortgage the kids. There's good collateral in a kid.

Oblios_Cap December 10, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Jefferson was a man … who found himself unable to … extricate his own life from its taint.

What a deep and complex individual Jefferson was. Fascinating!

rickmaci December 10, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Translation into English. Jefferson had his head up his ass on the issue of slavery.

SexySmurf December 10, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Won't it get confusing when Obama makes us all change our names to Toby?

Veritas78 December 10, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Well, it would answer the age-old question: Toby or not Toby.

oenspiek December 10, 2012 at 5:35 pm

That's bound to be a bit confusing — best call us all Bruce, till things sort themselves out.

Guppy December 10, 2012 at 6:36 pm

Half the women here would probably like Barry to break out the whip, or at least a riding crop.

(And no, not just in the "whip this out" sense either.)

Stevola December 11, 2012 at 2:26 am

Is there a red room in the White House?

Yeah, I read that crap.

BaldarTFlagass December 10, 2012 at 2:46 pm

"His principled hope was achieved, albeit belatedly."

And with some resistance, if I recall my history.

SorosBot December 10, 2012 at 2:58 pm

I remember some of the biggest resistance to Thomas Jefferson's principal hope came from a hardcore supporter of slavery named Thomas Jefferson.

Oblios_Cap December 10, 2012 at 2:58 pm

History is always written by the victor and is therefore unreliable.

glamourdammerung December 10, 2012 at 3:04 pm

And with some resistance, if I recall my history.

Damned Americans, stopping the Southern traitors from peacefully freeing their slaves.

BigSkullF*ckingDog December 10, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Are they hiring writers from The Onion again?

sewollef December 10, 2012 at 4:46 pm

When did they stop?

Guppy December 10, 2012 at 6:37 pm

The folks at The Onion are self-aware enough to ask for more money than these guys are willing to pay.

BadKitty904 December 10, 2012 at 2:46 pm

And why does Sam Neill have a coal-scuttle on his head?

PubOption December 10, 2012 at 2:52 pm

And a suit made from Indian-restaurant wallpaper?

natl_[redacted]_cmdr December 10, 2012 at 8:23 pm

Where do you want him to wear it?

BadKitty904 December 10, 2012 at 8:38 pm

Perhaps stylishly tucked under one under arm, like a chapeau-de-bras…

snowpointsecret December 10, 2012 at 2:47 pm

I'm not sure calling a black man a slave owner is going to help race relations much. Just a thought.

actor212 December 10, 2012 at 2:47 pm

So lemme get this straight: because Obama wants to….um, what, precisely?….somehow he's enslaving people who make money hand over fist compared to even the middle class of colonial times?

Got it. Good to know. I for one welcome my benevolent Simon Legree.

chicken_thief December 10, 2012 at 2:47 pm

If TJ was so freakin cool, why'd he steal all his good idears from Locke?

Nibbler of Niblonia December 10, 2012 at 3:52 pm

it goes even deeper than that. there are buildings at the University that are total rip-offs of some dude's designs from ancient greece

SorosBot December 10, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Wait, I've missed something; what exactly has Obama done that they think shows he "wishes to undo property itself, thus rendering enslavement a universal principle of government"? I need some concrete examples here people.

BerkeleyBear December 10, 2012 at 3:05 pm

How dare you require empiricism to prove an article of faith. Have you learned nothing from Dok's weekend reviews of how Christian education works?

SorosBot December 10, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Yeah, I keep forgetting that faith and what you want to be true trumps actual facts and evidence; must be why I'm a filthy godless atheist.

DCBloom December 10, 2012 at 3:05 pm

Don't try to understand the wingnuttery. Just enjoy the humor.

glamourdammerung December 10, 2012 at 3:08 pm

1. He is black.

2. See #1.

pdiddycornchips December 10, 2012 at 3:20 pm

He holds that truth to be self evident. It's in the CONSTITUTION DAMMIT!!!

Tangled sin tax December 10, 2012 at 5:02 pm

The fiend wants 3 dollars more of every 100 dollars you make beyond 250k of them…the mind reels in horror. And if that's not enough, he wants to use them for health care and roads and bridges and other unspeakable atrocities! Wake up, sheeple!%^&?>

Guppy December 10, 2012 at 6:38 pm

He wants to deny you your God-given write to self-sufficiently drive a Medicare-funded Hovaround, by giving free weight loss counseling.

BaldarTFlagass December 10, 2012 at 2:48 pm

I like that last paragraph of the blockquote. Apparently Obama is both a cruel cunning Czar AND a Stalinesque commie monster.

fuflans December 10, 2012 at 4:48 pm

if unclear on the concept, cover all your bases.

BadKitty904 December 10, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Can we sue "American Thinker" for false advertising?

Chet Kincaid_ December 10, 2012 at 2:59 pm

It's doubtful the dude's an American, let alone a thinker.

glamourdammerung December 10, 2012 at 3:09 pm

You would have to specify whether you meant the first or second part of their name (or both).

Botlrokit December 10, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Jefferson was a man who opposed slavery at its root

and rooted his slaves.

Nibbler of Niblonia December 10, 2012 at 3:54 pm

barring further clarification from the author, I'm going to assume this means he refused to eat Sally's famous hemp smoked parsnips during the winter months at the plantation.

whiskeybaby December 10, 2012 at 4:33 pm

I LOL'd. Because I'm Australian and I understand this reference to rooting.

Stevola December 11, 2012 at 2:30 am

He was just looking for Sally's taint

Edit:There aren't enough taint jokes on here

cousinitt December 10, 2012 at 2:49 pm

But I WANT Obama to own me. There's something special about the relationship between a man and an itt. As long as progressive Marxists™ keep me in shampoo, creme rinse, and a decent brush, I'm good.

Oblios_Cap December 10, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Thomas Jefferson owned about six hundred slaves over the course of his life.

599 of them worked while Jefferson was banging the 600th.

His principled hope was achieved, albeit belatedly.

Yes. The Founding Fathers' inability to address the issue resulted in his hope being achieved, albeit belatedly, after a particularly vicous war between the states. Bravo, Founders!

actor212 December 10, 2012 at 3:05 pm

599 of them worked while Jefferson was banging the 600th.

Hemings worked too. TJ sucked in bed.

Nibbler of Niblonia December 10, 2012 at 3:56 pm

he may have lacked stamina but he was very inventive. on the special tours of monticello they describe in detail, how the original prototype of the Lazy Susan was actually a marital aide.

Negropolis December 11, 2012 at 1:52 am

That's what she said.

finallyhappy December 10, 2012 at 6:23 pm

Jefferson wrote a lot of good stuff but he was a pretty standard slave owner- meaning a bastard

Guppy December 10, 2012 at 6:39 pm

599 of them worked while Jefferson was banging the 600th.

You'd think all that time in Paris would inspire him to at least try two at once.

chicken_thief December 10, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Locke? Sandra Locke? Didn't Clint used to pork her back before the days he stood around talking to chairs?

EatsBabyDingos December 10, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Does the word salad come with ranch dressing?

Botlrokit December 10, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Reagan ranch.

elviouslyqueer December 10, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Plus croutons so stale they'd shatter the incisors of a hammerhead shark.

Nibbler of Niblonia December 10, 2012 at 3:57 pm

you can get it with sally's famous plantation fried chicken for a $3 upcharge

christianmuslin December 10, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Blue (blood) cheese

Negropolis December 11, 2012 at 1:54 am

Ranch dressage.

Gratuitous World December 10, 2012 at 2:50 pm

So the American Thinker is no longer pro-slavery?

actor212 December 10, 2012 at 2:50 pm

“Slavery is self-refuting, as it contradicts the foundation of property rights, namely that a human being owns himself.”

Really?

Because, you know, in a monarchy, all property devolves to the king by Divine Right and all people swear fealty to the Crown, so slavery in colonial America was perfectly understood to mean that even people could be owned.

You know, indentured servitude, also, too. Plus.

weejee December 10, 2012 at 3:05 pm

“Slavery is self-refuting, as it contradicts the foundation of property rights, namely that a human being owns himself.”

So actor I guess slavery is a self-referential oxymaroon, according to the author who is reduced to just being a moran. With all that oxy & reduction it's turning into a chemistry class.

BerkeleyBear December 10, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Enlightenment thinkers actually largely took the idea that the problem with slavery and self-enslavement isn't some inconsistency with property generally (because of course you can sell anything) but the negation of self-determination it represented.

actor212 December 10, 2012 at 3:18 pm

The whole justification for slavery was that these were sub-human beings, tho. Self-determination was reserved for human beings (e.g. white property owners).

BerkeleyBear December 10, 2012 at 6:10 pm

That was the out clause, sure, but one that only got put in after social contract thinkers first proclaimed all that bunk about self-evident truths and rights in the state of nature (that only applied to white property owning males somehow when push came to shove).

HarryButtle December 10, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Oh, king eh? Very nice. And how'd you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers. By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society.

doloras December 10, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Oh there you go bringing class into it again.

sullivanst December 10, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

Botlrokit December 10, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Be quiet!

Tangled sin tax December 10, 2012 at 5:09 pm

I was just going to go look for that clip, but as usual I was outdone by the Wonkeratti.

Chet Kincaid_ December 10, 2012 at 2:50 pm

What the fuck? In all that word salad, the idiot didn't even make a half-assed attempt to mention an Obama policy that even smelled like slavery. I expected the individual mandate, at least.

cousinitt December 10, 2012 at 3:00 pm

And that putrid air of smug self-satisfaction these geniuses produce is all over this piece. What is it with these folks? I'm becoming convinced they write these turds to see who among them is the more accomplished intellectual fapper.

SuspectedDemocrat December 10, 2012 at 3:10 pm

For his intended audience, those policies are a given, and need not be mentioned.

bobbert December 10, 2012 at 8:50 pm

Melanin doesn't have to be explicitly mentioned.

SorosBot December 10, 2012 at 2:50 pm

You know what actually is "the denial of individual sovereignty"? Forcing women to undergo pregnancy against their will, forbidding some couples from marrying because of their genitals, or telling people what consensual sex acts and with whom they are allowed to engage in. And yet I recall the American "Thinker" supporting all these actual assaults on liberty.

AlterNewt December 10, 2012 at 2:50 pm

American Thinker

That's adorable.

Beowoof December 10, 2012 at 6:56 pm

Clearly a misnomer.

HRH_Maddie December 10, 2012 at 2:51 pm

For my money, no one beats Juggs monthly at fleshing out a story.

BaldarTFlagass December 10, 2012 at 2:51 pm

So, if I'm to be Obama's slave, does that mean I have to learn spiritual songs to sing whilst I toil in the fields? Or can I be one of the house slaves?

BadKitty904 December 10, 2012 at 2:54 pm

♫ "I get no kick from champaaagne…" ♪

Chet Kincaid_ December 10, 2012 at 3:06 pm

I love hearing you people's wonderful old-timey harmonizing on "While Strolling Through The Park One Day" while you mow my lawn and do my laundry!

BadKitty904 December 10, 2012 at 3:12 pm

The soft, sweet crooning of "Sweet Adeline" and "The Whiffenpoof Song"…

Chet Kincaid_ December 10, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Ho-ho-ho! Me and Cedric and Malik dressed up in whiteface and straw boaters and belted out "When I'm Calling You" for Halloween!

MosesInvests December 10, 2012 at 3:11 pm

De Camptown Ladies? Doo-dah, doo-dah?

DCBloom December 10, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Personally, I would volunteer to be Barry's Sally

Hammiepants December 10, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Jon McNaughton, is that you??? http://www.jonmcnaughton.com/runaway-slave/

gingerland62 December 10, 2012 at 3:08 pm
snowpointsecret December 10, 2012 at 2:51 pm

This is less circular logic and more logic that tries to circle around but just ends up wandering aimlessly and ending up far to the right of where it started. Drunk logic, if you will.

Botlrokit December 10, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Pretzel logic.

snowpointsecret December 10, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Pretzels and beer, basically. It's Oktoberfest in wingnut form!

MosesInvests December 10, 2012 at 3:12 pm

I would love to tour the Southland in a traveling minstrel show.

gullywompr December 10, 2012 at 2:52 pm

It seems American Thinker embraces self-pwnership.

noodlesalad December 10, 2012 at 2:54 pm

I can never make up my mind what I hate more, the plain dumbfuckery of straight-up teabag scribblings with their capital letters and misspelled words and hate, or their thinly disguised pseudo-intellectual cousins which make all the same points but with more tortured grammar and thesaurus abuse.

Then I remember–you can hate all of them, Katie. All of them.

rickmaci December 10, 2012 at 3:16 pm

"dumbfuckery"

Must add that to my spell check vocabulary. Great word.

Negropolis December 11, 2012 at 1:57 am

The thinking man's racist is the worst racist, by far, in my opinion.

rickmaci December 10, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Another example of how the American right wing Idiocracy lives in a world somewhere between bullshit and total nonsense.

gullywompr December 10, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Fresno?

EatsBabyDingos December 10, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Well, we are now all beholden to the olds like the Kochs and Adelson, so we are all suffering from dentured servitude.

sullivanst December 10, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Dentures not covered by Obamacare.

Chet Kincaid_ December 10, 2012 at 2:56 pm

This dope is apparently some Eastern European educated in Canada and teaching in South Korea, who nevertheless spends all his time writing goddamned stupid articles on American wingnut blogs:

"Daren Jonescu has a Ph.D. in Philosophy from McMaster University in Hamilton, Ontario. He currently teaches English language and philosophy at Changwon National University in South Korea."
http://www.canadafreepress.com/index.php/members/

Oblios_Cap December 10, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Those poor Koreans. One can only imagine what sort of English this wordsmith is teaching them.

Stevola December 11, 2012 at 2:39 am

"Frank Burns eats worms"

BerkeleyBear December 10, 2012 at 3:12 pm

The Romanian name was a pretty big clue that this guy is a wing nut with Randian pretensions. They aren't all crazy, but Eastern Euros do tend to see property rights in absolutist terms, all historical evidence notwithstanding. Something about surviving Communism from what I can tell.

pdiddycornchips December 10, 2012 at 3:16 pm

He is also well known as the McMaster debater but that had nothing to do with his reasoning skills.

vulpes82 December 10, 2012 at 3:20 pm

So he's Romanian? Well, that's practically Moldavian, and you know ELSE is from Moldavia? That's right, Orly Taitz!

sullivanst December 10, 2012 at 3:21 pm

He teaches philosophy?!! His students are doomed.

ETA: So also, not only not a Thinker, but also not American. Oh and BTW? McMaster University is a public school. Changwon National University too, as its name would suggest. Jonescu is personally enslaving entire nations by causing them to be taxed so he can get paid.

BaldarTFlagass December 10, 2012 at 3:40 pm

South Korea? I'm surprised he didn't accuse Obama holding slaves in the Gangnam Style.

Negropolis December 11, 2012 at 2:00 am

A Romanian, eh? So, this is another case of "I lived behind the Iron Curtain so now I'm going to overcompensate by becoming a super capitalist"?

ChillBill December 10, 2012 at 2:57 pm

I laugh everytime I read "American Thinker."

ManchuCandidate December 10, 2012 at 2:57 pm

The white male privledge temper tantrum of 2012 continues. It continues to warm my evil satanist heart.

chicken_thief December 10, 2012 at 2:57 pm

That's a whole lot of horseshit and nonsense rolled into one article to essentially say "us poor middle aged white men are the real victims".

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 10, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Stupid American Thinker! Obama doesn't want to enslave us, he wants to send us off to concentration camps and kill us with death panels. Get your political metaphors straight.

el_donaldo December 10, 2012 at 3:02 pm

Next American Thinker article: George Washington led the troops, starving and shoeless, out of Valley Forge into victory. But Obama is leading us right into the FEMA camps. THE CONNECTION IS UNMISTAKABLE.

ttommyunger December 10, 2012 at 3:04 pm

C'mon, American (Hee, hee)Thinker, that piece had to be ghost written by Dana Perino, amirite?

BadKitty904 December 10, 2012 at 3:13 pm

On acid.

imissopus December 10, 2012 at 3:05 pm

This is the funniest thing I've read all weekend. And Snipy's piece is pretty funny too.

corthylio December 10, 2012 at 3:06 pm

I'm so confused. Ignorance is strength? I thought it was bliss. So strength = bliss = ignorance? This philosophy stuff makes my head hurt.

elviouslyqueer December 10, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Man, Lisa Bonet looks like absolute shit in florals.

That's all I got.

Chet Kincaid_ December 10, 2012 at 3:12 pm

That's Carmen Ejogo, Whitey.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0206951/fullcredits#c

DeathOfIrony December 10, 2012 at 3:09 pm

All I got out of this is Jefferson was pulling stuff out of his taint….

iburl December 10, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Last time I checked, slaves were not allowed to vote, carry weapons, have their own radio and TV stations, marry who they want, wear what they want, go where they want, work for whoever they want, etc., etc., etc., .

I'm beginning to suspect that right wingers might be a teensy bit out of touch with the Black experience in America.

Negropolis December 11, 2012 at 2:03 am

Don't forget read. Reading was dangerous. The might get some kind of idea that they were equal, or something, if they read the nation's founding documents.

Disassembly December 10, 2012 at 3:10 pm

If slavery is merely the denial of individual sovereignty then stop lights, speed limits and gravity are all slave owners. In fact, because slave owners of yore were compelled to feed and house their slaves, the slave owners were themselves the slaves of the slaves. It seems that someone owes me some land and a mule.

bobbert December 10, 2012 at 8:55 pm

TRAFFIC STOP SLAVERY!!!!one111@@@!!!!!!!

SayItWithWookies December 10, 2012 at 3:11 pm

His main difference on this score from the slave owners of the past is that, rather than pursuing the contradiction of defending private property while simultaneously defiling it, Obama merely wishes to undo property itself, thus rendering enslavement a universal principle of government.

Wow – Mr. Dumbass has really gotten himself turned around on this one. Where he correctly noted that slavery mixes the notions of humanity and private property, it's not the idea of private property that's defiled here, it's humanity. Slavery is in fact entirely in accordance with the idea of owning things. It's typical of the conservative money-is-everything mentality that they're sure President Obama is defiling something, and then naturally think our core value as a society is property rather than, say, our humanity. And I'm not really sure there's a way to overstate the moral failing of this argument — it's really quite appalling when you think about it.

pdiddycornchips December 10, 2012 at 3:27 pm

And just think, this man is educating bright young minds in South Korea. No wonder they want us out.

mrblifil December 10, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Ha! Take THAT President Uppity! And all the rest of y'all who used to call Dubya "Chimpy" and the like. Y'all were being so MEAN!

pdiddycornchips December 10, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Does the author get paid by the word or by the dumb?

jodyleek December 10, 2012 at 3:14 pm

Property rights, huh? American Stinker, how about you talk to an American Indian and then get back to me about your high minded white man's notion of "property rights".

outragedcitizen December 10, 2012 at 3:15 pm

I'm sure this argument sounded a lot more coherent in the writer's head then it did when I read it.

I mean, WTF?

BadKitty904 December 10, 2012 at 3:20 pm

It may have made more sense in the language in which it was originally written, which pretty obviously wasn't English…

Abernathy December 10, 2012 at 3:15 pm

If only there had been some way he could have refused to own slaves. But what could he do? He was stuck with those slaves. It's almost like TJ was slavery's first and most tragic victim.

Negropolis December 11, 2012 at 2:04 am

Won't someone think of the slaveowner? Won't anyone think of the slaveowner?!

SuspectedDemocrat December 10, 2012 at 3:16 pm

In other words, he's saying that by electing our first black President, we've taken a step backwards from the days of slavery.

Is it too early to start talking about the Republican 2016 Presidential ticket?

x111e7thst December 10, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Needs more death panels

sullivanst December 10, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Sigh. These idiots declare that property rights are self-evident, and consider that proof. It's perfectly consistent not to include property as a basic right, and wind up with Left-Libertarianism ("Anarchism") or Utopian Socialism. While these philosophies have not been successful in creating successful governments, neither has Right-Libertarianism as practiced at American "Thinker" (more like Verbose Waffler, amiright?). And their particular interpretation of property rights – especially inheritance rights and unlimited right of acquisition – really isn't self-evident.

TootsStansbury December 10, 2012 at 3:22 pm

I have cut farts that are more articulate.

GhostBuggy December 10, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Holy shit, even with the helpful Wonkette snark, I have no idea what the fuck I just read.

HarryButtle December 10, 2012 at 3:25 pm

American Thinker

I can think of at least two things wrong with the name of this site.

BlueStateLibel December 10, 2012 at 3:25 pm

And yet…Mitt Rmoney still lost the election! …keep crying your bitter, bitter tears, American "Thinker" writers.

DahBoner December 10, 2012 at 3:26 pm

American Stinker get away from me,..

TheGrandInquisitor December 10, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Man, that article is really hard to fap to.

sullivanst December 10, 2012 at 3:41 pm

You'd think with all those words there'd be something in there you could use, but no.

And I mean that in the most general sense possible.

Mittens Howell, III December 10, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Out of Obama's 300 million slaves approximately 212 million are exclusively dedicated to supporting the weight of his enormous pair of constitution-cutting scissors.

bobbert December 10, 2012 at 8:59 pm

Obama's scissors so big …..

Barrelhse December 10, 2012 at 3:49 pm

You don't really need to say anything at all to be a right-wing propagandist. Anyone who can make sense out of this drivel is obviously a drooling mouth-breather with his hand in his pants- i.e., the Republican base.

James Michael Curley December 10, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Jefferson owned only five slaves. The rest were owned by his wife's family which she inherited and could not 'free' due to estate requirements.

Negropolis December 11, 2012 at 2:09 am

He inherited both slaves from his father and his father-in-law. He eventually owned far more than five slaves. I bet you he surpassed that number very early in his adult life. He also ended up selling dozens of them because of the debt he incurred often.

Slavery was not something Jefferson dabbled in, and he was master of his domain. This was not a man handcuffed. Monticello was a vertible Jefferson slave village, this much is not an opinion but a fact, let us not get it twisted.

James Michael Curley December 11, 2012 at 5:40 am

Interesting, as I’m going on memory from years ago. But I should have been clearer in that he ‘owned’ hundreds of slaves and Monticello was a slave labor enterprise. But I seem to recall that, with or without his acquiescence, the process of ‘freeing’ his slaves was complicated by Virginia law and its law of inheritance. Even in NJ – Supposedly a non-slave state at the Revolution state records show the last of its slaves were not freed until the 1840s. There are always loopholes (and assholes) however well intentioned a law is.

Negropolis December 11, 2012 at 7:15 am

George Washingotn, who also owned slaves in Virginia, freed his estate's slaves in his will. In VA, you could emancipate slaves in your will or in a deed, this law having come into effect long before either's death. Upon Jefferson's death, he only emancipated five of the 130 existing slaves – the five being Hemings, but surprisingly not Sally, herself. He willed all the rest to be sold off to help pay off his debts. Curiosly, along with not formally freeing Sally, he freed one of her nephews, but not the wife of the nephew nor their eight children who all ended up getting sold to four different people.

No, there was nothing of any real legal/codified consequence to stop him from doing exactly what Washington did. Jefferson made a business decision. For all his supposed business acumen, Jefferson lived above his means for most of his life.

Jefferson was brilliant when it came to ideas for starting and improving our fledgling democracy, but much the rest of his life is hype.

Rebootably_Joe December 11, 2012 at 9:11 am

Honestly, it's even worse than that; the easy explanation is that Jefferson's financial mismanagement and debts pressured him to make the "business" choice to retain his slaves against principal is complicated by the fact that he opposed his friends' and collegues' decisions to free their own slaves, and furthermore, refused to execute another friends will, which called for his estate to be used to purchase slaves and free them en masse.

Those weren't business decisions on his part.

James Michael Curley December 12, 2012 at 6:19 am

My intent is not to defend or mitigate Jefferson or Washington but to promote the issue that slave ownership was such a securely protected part of too much of the US even after the signing of the Declaration of Independence and the adoption of the Constitution and that even in ‘non-slave’ states those who were privileged got to keep their slaves. Dred Scott and all that. And folks we’re only 175 some years from then with a growing belief by many that they have predestined status above others.

GoodDogThor December 10, 2012 at 4:15 pm

And yet according to the left, Jefferson should be dismissed as a hypocrite, and one of the noblest documents ever written reduced to the status of mere politics

Hmmm… did I miss a memo?

His principled hope was achieved, albeit belatedly.

He means that whole 3/5's thing, right?

christianmuslin December 10, 2012 at 5:17 pm

The wingnuts spent the last '5 & 1/2 years Alan' trying to prove the President was not U.S. born but instead was from Indonesia off the coast of Kenya in Afreeka. Having failed, they will now attempt to convince us that because his mother's ancestors, and some of Michelle's ancestors owned slaves, so will he, and they are us. Is this before or after the UN invades and takes all of our guns?

proudgrampa December 10, 2012 at 5:26 pm

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Someone said, "American Thinker."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

GeneralLerong December 10, 2012 at 7:20 pm

Jesus – the crew at Jacobin is struggling for bucks, yet someone at American Stinker actually got paid to write crap worth less than stale gum on a shoe bottom.

Where are the liberal, progressive sugar mommies and daddies that distribute author chow with the liberality of the Kochs et al?

docterry6973 December 10, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Does the Sage cite any evidence of Obama's attempts to abolish private property? Didn't think so.

Though I do think it was pretty nasty of Obama to invent this 'tax' thing.

BZ1 December 10, 2012 at 11:55 pm

American Thinker, seriously??

sati_demise December 11, 2012 at 12:01 am

Ouch.

ow
Ouch again.

lulzmonger December 11, 2012 at 12:58 am

If genealogy & nomenclature are any clue, Thomas Jefferson was extricating himself from A LOT of taints in his day.

Negropolis December 11, 2012 at 1:32 am

And yet according to the left, Jefferson should be dismissed as a hypocrite

You know, everyone already knows this, but thinkers don't dismiss anyone outright. Jefferson was a multi-faceted individual…and that's how any thinking person views him. I know that nuance is hard for conservatives, but that doesn't mean it's a difficulty for us all. We can, in fact, walk and chew gum at the same time.

BTW, they are right about Jefferson in that his words eventually paved the way for what his actions could never do. He was set all aflame earlier in his life against slavery, and that quickly turned when he found out how much money he could make off of it.

HistoriCat December 10, 2012 at 3:39 pm

That's not racial transcendence! You're supposed to be lifting those white people up – civilizing them!

Take up the Black Man's burden.

Negropolis December 11, 2012 at 10:01 pm

You are right, I was trying to be magnanimous even in tearing down the veil. Truth is that Jefferson hadn't been abolition-minded since his youth.

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