how a bill becomes a law

Tennessee Sen. Bob Corker: Let Them Eat Catfood

Bob "your retirement is not MY problem" CorkerThere are a lot of rich white men who are representing you in our nation’s most deliberative body, and sometimes they set themselves apart by being INSANELY CRAZY. But sometimes they are just run-of-the-mill crazy, in which case it is hard to tell them apart. This is why you don’t yet know very much about Republican Senator Bob Corker probably — it is because so far he has been able to blend in, chameleonlike, with all of these other moderately crazy rich white male Republican Senators and stay just below the radar. JUST CRAZY ENOUGH to be a Republican; NOT CRAZY ENOUGH to be a particularly noteworthy Republican. But today may be the day that the tide turns for Bob Corker, because it is the day that we learned of his brilliant suggestion vis a vis the debt ceiling and impoverishing our future seniors:


What is this brilliant suggestion? Well, see, he explained it on Fox News Sunday, and basically, what Republicans should do is vote to increase taxes on the top 2%, then that will give them leverage to hold the debt ceiling hostage so they can REALLY give the shaft to seniors and Poors:

CORKER: The Republicans know they have the debt ceiling, that is coming up around the corner, and, the leverage is going to shift, as soon as we get beyond this issue. The leverage is going to shift, to our side where hopefully we’ll do the same thing we did last time and that is if the president wants to raise the debt limit by $2 trillion we get $2 trillion in spending reduction and, hopefully, this time, it is mostly oriented towards entitlement and with no process. [...]

[Obama] has the upper hand on taxes and you have to pass something to keep it from happening. We only have one body. If we were to pass, for instance, raising the top 2 rates, and that’s it, all of a sudden we do have the leverage of the debt ceiling and we haven’t given that up so the only way the debt ceiling.

If this doesn’t sound EXTRA crazy it is because he has wrapped it in the language of Boring, using words like Percent and Rates and Leverage and stuff. SNOOZEVILLE! But let us translate it for you, and then you will come to appreciate the dangerousness of this statement, and also, the fact that it doesn’t even make mathematical sense. ALL OF THEM KATIE.

See, the debt ceiling represents money that HAS ALREADY BEEN SPENT. It is not NEW MONEY that we are thinking about maybe spending if we can afford it; it is money that WE SPENT. So since we already SPENT THIS MONEY we have to PAY for it, which you’d think the party of personal responsibility would be very enthusiastic about.

But they are not enthusiastic about it, they want to NOT pay for it so they can have an excuse to privatize Medicare. What does paying our bills have to do with privatizing Medicare, particularly during an ongoing period of high underemployment and unprecedented income inequality? Oh, nothing. Nothing at all, but that doesn’t mean that Republicans might not do it because they DID do it, in 2011, when Republican disinterest in paying our bills almost led to a credit default and ultimately cost taxpayers $18.9 billion over 10 years, due to elevated interest rates between January and August 2011 as well as a drop in our credit rating for the first time EVER.

No but let’s totally do that again so that our future seniors will have to work till they are possibly dead anyway, this will make up the extra billions of dollars that it will cost us when we risk our credit rating again. And then we can REALLY stick it to seniors and (future) Poors.

[ThinkProgress]

About the author

Kris E. Benson writes about politics for Wonkette and is pursuing a doctorate in philosophy. This will come in handy for when they finally open that philosophy factory in the next town over. @Kris_E_Benson

View all articles by Kris E. Benson
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191 comments

    1. miss_grundy

      Yep, you could release your inner wire-fu demon and mess him up doing every kick, chop and punch that is used in martial arts films.

    2. Spider-Jerk

      It's freaky just how much he resembles the father of one of the biggest assholes/bullies I had the displeasure of dealing with in school.

      Corker is from Tennessee though, and they did have lots of family in those parts…

  1. MaxNeanderthal

    His left hand appears to be making a gesture well known in the UK- and no, it's not the way Churchill did it (note which way the palm faces). What an appropriate signal to emphasise his words…

    1. sewollef

      That would be true if he was displaying the right two fingers. The cute expression for go fuck yourself, normally uses the index and middle finger.

      Historical moment: For those that don't know [and I suspect that ain't many on the Wonkettes, but still], it is alleged the reason for the two-finger salute was to show the French at the battle of Agincourt that the highly-feared English longbow men still had their fingers to pull back their bows.

      Massed ranks of bowmen was a newish tactic used by the English armies to scare the bejessus out of the enemy, as thousands of arrows rained down on them. [OK, we know the Romans used this tactic, but what did the Romans ever do for us, eh?]

      When capturing English bowmen, the French army would cut off their index and middle fingers and send them back to the English lines to put the fear of god into the remaining bowmen.

      This could all be made up shit, but no one knows definitively and this seems likely.

  2. SexySmurf

    Republicans are trying to turn us into Europe by pushing austerity. Sure, eleven months of vacation a year sounds awesome, but we'll also have to drink warm beer and eat our french fries with mayonnaise.

        1. weejee

          1 egg yolk (absolutely none white, sorry Repugs)
          1 cup olive oil
          1 tbls dry mustard
          let the whip, er wisk come down on the egg yolk & olive oil 'til it stiffens
          slowly blend-in the mustard
          for a bit extra snap, run some cornichons (baby gherkins with serious attitude) and capers through a blender then add to the mustard for a bit of ooh la la

    1. Negropolis

      I remember eating at some touristy fish-n-chips joint near the Thames back in
      '03 in London and asking for iced tea, and they looked at me like I had two heads. I know, Ugly American, but I've had a good laugh out of it since.

    1. ButthurtWingers2012

      Okay sure, first it's 1+1= 2 So you have 1 Southern white guy 5 decade long shit fit at the government for giving black people the right to vote (amazing how this happened, a strong part of the New Deal coalition becomes totally anti-government shortly after the '64 Civil Rights Act passed) + 1 rich white guy animosity toward anyone who has less money than them and you have= 2 GOP houses, the senate and the reps. Simple enough, and did I mention they are complete reetards for letting the ideas of a 13 year old Randite become their central governing philosophy.

  3. snowpointsecret

    He wants us to eat cat food because he doesn't have teeth and that's all he's capable of eating. The Republican Party, on average, is that old.

    1. miss_grundy

      Is it progress if the GOP expects the olds and the poors to eat cat food because during the Reagan years, the olds and poors were eating dog food.

  4. Sassomatic

    Is it me or is he just straight up admitting that they plan to be total dicks, because they did that the last time.

    1. Dudleydidwrong

      They're total dicks whether or not they did it the last time, but this time they are like total dick/slugs because they leave a slimy trail wherever they wander. I wish they would wander off of the planet.

      "Rocket leaving for Kolob on launch pad three in five minutes!"

  5. SorosBot

    Threatening to crash the world economy just to get the chance to fuck over the poor and olds is totally endearing and not at all petulant and childish.

    1. bikerlaureate

      Sen. Corker was an entrepreneur, which in this case apparently means snatching Hot Pockets from the hands of hungry orphans and kicking frail octogenarians in the shins.

  6. smellypossum

    The photo looks like he's offering free prostate checkups… ungloved, like back in the old days.

    1. SorosBot

      And hey, since we lost going to the extreme right this year, next time let's move even further to the right, then we're sure to win!

        1. Beowoof

          Oh yeah like science means anything to these guys. They view science as facts, liberal voodoo to trick Americans.

      1. glamourdammerung

        And hey, since we lost going to the extreme right this year, next time let's move even further to the right, then we're sure to win!

        I am still wondering how they are going to be to the right of the Taliban, even if Chairman Limbaugh trying to slut shame women that do not wear burqas is going to be kind of hilarious.

      2. Negropolis

        I think some of them are starting to realize how hard it is to argue for going over the fiscal cliff when you've already fallen off the electoral cliff. Not a great place to negotiate from. They might hang onto the House from time to time, but they keep on doing what they are doing, and they won't see the inside of the Oval Office for another generation but as visitors. Sure, they'll be able to fuck up domestic policy, but they won't be able to start any more foreign wars, and that's a Big Fucking Deal, if you ask me.

    2. bikerlaureate

      Not enough of us thought they were serious.

      Coming soon – on-the-spot euthanasia for anyone caught without an AmEx card or a GOP lapel pin…

  7. Lot_49

    Yes, Republicans, please try another debt-ceiling showdown. Hopey's not going to play again, though, just like he's not going to extend the Bush Brand© Tax Cuts again.

    A black man's in charge and he's got nothing to lose, as Sully put it.

    1. gullywompr

      I really don't think he played last time either. He got a deal that totally put the onus on Congress, forcing them the take the hit for not figuring it out, made sure Social Security wasn't touched, and miraculously, getting cuts to DoD. He's in the fucking catbird seat.

    2. AncienReggie

      Yeah, but we have something to lose. Bet you the price of a Little Friskies the White House is going to trade a jacked-up Social Security and Medicare age with the GOP — in return for making rich peoples' accountants shuffle more of their income into the "non-income" categories.

      1. Negropolis

        I so don't want to believe this is what will happen, but it's probably the more likely scenario in how this eventually plays out.

      2. HateMachine

        The Republican negotiators (assuming they keep the True Believers away from the table) think about politics in terms of personal political expediency, though. That means that whether or not Barry intends to let it go over the edge, brinksmanship from him is suddenly a very, very credible threat (in their eyes). After all, he's not jockeying for re-election ever again (and this is all someone like Boehner thinks in terms of).

  8. snowpointsecret

    Wow, we just went from the glass ceiling to the debt ceiling. Republicans are for screwing people over on both.

  9. Callyson

    since we already SPENT THIS MONEY we have to PAY for it, which you’d think the party of personal responsibility would be very enthusiastic about.

    Aaaaand I won't be needing to watch Comedy Central tonight…

    (gasping for air)

  10. MaxNeanderthal

    Bob Corker- Cork Bobber- one is likely to be an obscure perversion that takes place in airport toilets, and the other's a type of fishing….

  11. edgydrifter

    Just keep repeating "this is all the black guy's fault" while you pull your own rotten teeth with an old set of pliers and wrap yourself in extra plastic bags to ward off the evening chill behind the grocery store dumpster. This is all the black guy's fault. Say it enough and it almost sounds reasonable.

  12. qwerty42

    I dunno … they have behaved like children for 4 years, what if that is coming to an end as OBAMANAZI crushes what little freedom the struggling Republicans have managed to preserve. By doing things like, oh I don't know … not funding partial Mediaid expansion for those states that do not sign up.

  13. SayItWithWookies

    Isn't what everyone's calling the fiscal cliff a result of the agreement to settle the last debt ceiling deal? And wasn't it so horrible because it resulted in defense cuts that all the Republicans who voted for the initial showdown are now saying it's frightfully irresponsible and should be headed off at all costs? Sounds like a great thing to be doing again.

    Hey, I've got an idea — let's just rescind all government funding for Tennessee — I'm sure Bob Corker would be thrilled at the fiscal responsibility that shows, not to mention how his state will be leading the way.

        1. HateMachine

          I'm sure there's some sort of royalties for some awful book somewhere. I don't want or need to google that, it's usually a safe assumption these guest pundits, 'experts' and 'insiders' have at least three books floating around that got written somehow.

    1. LibrarianX

      You saved me having to look up the foul deed that made his name familiar. It was worse than I remembered.

    2. HateMachine

      Oh god, is that Mark Goodfellow in that? Given his own business' output, I guess I shouldn't be surprised to see him in a shit commercial. I'm only shocked that they didn't hire the Mo' Money Taxes dudes as well.

  14. Toomush_Infer

    You're just being difficult….Corker's point is easy to understand: if Republicans have to do something they don't want to, everybody else owes them….bigtime!….so, now they can use whatever they want for leverage….debt ceiling, calling mom, whatever….it's basic pre-kindergarten math….

  15. Jus_Wonderin

    Shhhh. This is just for us. What we need to do is run for higher office. Then, while in office we play the system just like Corker and Co. do. We get influential contracts, we take any kind of money we can get for passing the "right" legislation. We get a slick lobbing job promised and just all around make out like bandits. Shabam! Retirement Solved.

    Well, okay, you guys try it. I have skeletons in my….uh, closet.

    1. Dudleydidwrong

      First cat food for my meals and now the prospect of no help with Alzheimer's treatment for a rising number of folks. These Republicans are really warm and fuzzy folks–like a just-coughed-up hair ball.

    2. shelwood46

      That's kind of a strawman, though. Anyone with diagnosed Alzheimer's would be eligible for SSDI and Medicare just like anyone else with a disabling disease and SS eligibility, regardless of age. SSDI has no minimum age, though you do have to have your 10 years in (and if you are under 50, you will almost certainly be denied and have to appeal). The bigger problem is the two year lag for Medicare to kick in after you get SSDI approval. People with diseases acknowledged by Social Security that make them too sick to work often go 6-24 months (depending on whether they can afford COBRA) with absolutely no health insurance because of that. It's stupid, and near criminal. There are exceptions for ALS and certain kidney problems, but that's it. It's a truly evil policy.

    1. snowpointsecret

      Yes, we really do lose money to pay for him, and if you're not in Tennessee there's no way to get rid of him. Sickening, isn't it?

      1. Negropolis

        Belle Meade. How fey.

        Why does every Southern senator look like he just stepped out on the veranda of his plantation? Hell, our senior senator up here in Michigan, Carl Levin, is a Jew who lives in an apartment in downtown Detroit.

    2. Jus_Wonderin

      Regardless of district we should be allowed to vote for these assholes so we can vote them out. The fact is that one asshole from some fuckwad state can stalemate any progress.

      1. Biff

        I think each state should have to pay for their own senators and representatives. Maybe then they'd stop sending assholes…

  16. Rotundo_

    How many times are they going to play chicken with the economic future of the country until the known world calls them on it? The "Lucy and the Football" schtick was stupid the first few times, but it is getting old, and even the more stupid folks in the citizenry are going to notice their checks not coming and stuff.

    1. sewollef

      I have this vague recollection that Harold Ford was one of the good guys, am I right?

      Damn, it seems so long ago now. Memory's fading, hair's thinner, need glasses now, vision is hazy, lights are getting dim…..

      Has that Selma march finished yet…?

  17. SayItWithWookies

    I'm not really sure what President Obama's strategy through these two negotiations is, but after looking at Corker's assessment I'm guessing it's something like this: don't make a deal on the automatic cuts (i.e. fiscal cliff) at all — since the Dubya tax cuts are mandated to expire entirely separately from the fiscal cliff stuff, just let all that shit happen, and use the debt ceiling negotiations to restore the cuts for all but the highest tax bracket. That way the leverage Corker was talking about doesn't go away, and the GOP is screwed for those negotiations too.

    Not sure if that'll work out, since I've been avoiding the issues due to all the hysteria, but it seems feasible.

  18. Wilcoxyz

    It's like the GOP just figured out how to pass a bad check – write the big fake check, but keep the goods. To them, this is fiscal genius.

    For their next trick: dine and dash.

  19. christianmuslin

    For those that tried to convince everyone that Barry was nothing more than a spear chucker, he took names and is getting ready to chuck you with real spears.

    That smirk will quickly fade when the white house puts into play all their recently mined data from the election and we get emails etc from Bams of I need your help to bury these turkeys with their dumbass plan to ruin your retirement. Call their offices today and remInd them you will be watching how they vote.

    1. sewollef

      He's not holding them, they're self-supporting appendages, attached to a hydraulic pump and activated by electrical stimuli sent from a controlling CPU powered by a fracking coal-fired generator.

      The generator was made in China and is last-year's model, but is about to be replaced with a cheaper and more toxically-made version assembled in Bangladesh by barefoot 10-year-olds, dodging whips from supervisors and staying awake during their 14-hour shifts, while the Bangladeshi government turns a blind eye to massive factory code violations. The factory also produces super cute winter shirts for The Gap and 85" Plasma teevees made from cadmium and perfectly safe heavy metals for Wal-Mart.

      So yes. He's a perfectly normal republican, circa 2012.

  20. Goonemeritus

    Thanks to all the opportunities to comment on Republicans my auto complete jumps straight to Nazi as soon as I type a capital letter “N”.

  21. Monsieur_Grumpe

    Corker has this republican dickhead thing really down. He's got the look, the talk and that hand action is just the icing on the cake. Well done dickhead, well done.

  22. Dashboard Buddha

    His hand gesture looks like a GOP Shocker – 2 in the pink, 1 in your elderly mom's grocery budget.

  23. Abernathy

    Oh, I see. Fox is all up in arms when a black comedian makes a joke about white guys, but when white guys act like a fucking joke, that's cool.

  24. TootsStansbury

    The Birchers are trying to grab the country; take us back to the days of the robber barons (we're just about there). They've already made people afraid to be "liberal". They're poised to steal that whole brass ring. Boot their asses out in 2014!

    They need to be served a cold dish of lightly salted rat dicks. Fuck them.

    Sorry, almost forgot: buttsechs dicks and poop. Forevar!

  25. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    You sillies, the Republicans are way ahead of you. That is why with any increase of the Debt Ceiling, there will be a companion bill that will outsource all of our poor to India.

    It is what the free market demands!

  26. Butch_Wagstaff

    When I first read about Corker's statements, I have become convinced that he's actually an secretive operative for the Democratic Party who's trying to undermine the GOP.

    1. BadKitty904

      If I thought the Dems were clever and organized enough to pull off such a strategy, I'd be inclined to agree. This guy is a caricature of the standard-issue vicious, amoral, selfish Repug…

          1. commiegirl99

            You have to scroll all the way down, and then click on your size, and then you can ADD TO CART ALL THE PANTieS!!!

          2. commiegirl99

            In fact, you are NOT crazy, and because of your comment I went back and was all THE FUCK? And now it is fixed. BUY ALL THE PANTIES PLS.

          3. emmelemm

            Any suggestions on sizing? Is the X-L realllly X-L, or is it just "might fit someone who wears over a size 6-8 in pants"?

    1. jello_mold

      If the enthusiasm with which the underwear image has been greeted is to be believed, I have completely misunderstood men, because that pic is totes creeping me out.

  27. snowpointsecret

    OT: Donald Trump calls Bill Belichick "Bob" on Twitter, proves himself to be as useless as we thought.

    Just thought we should have another laugh at Donald Trump's expense if he's going to give us such amazing things to make fun of.

  28. Tommmcatt_Again

    Dicks gotta be dickin', I guess.

    Dick it up, Corker. I give your party 10 years to rump status at the outside.

  29. Warpde

    Eh!, Cat foods not bad.
    "ESPECIALLY" the "KIND" you "DON'T need a fucking "CAN OPENER" for.

    Damn I'm hungry.
    Anyone have an opener ::((((

  30. kittensdontlie

    What did we learn today:
    1) Find a responsible person to be your co-debtor.
    2) Go on and splurge! The sky is the limit! No,…there is no limit!!
    3) When the bill arrives, extract favors from your co-debtor in exchange for promise of your payment(do it classy-like, no smirking…smile!).
    4) Use this leverage wisely! (Payoff Suggestion: sexy-time Wonkette panties)

    1. corthylio

      I am interested in your ideas, and would like to learn more. Do you have a newsletter I can subscribe to?

  31. decentcitizen

    Repugs are going to have to do better. They've got nothing Obama wants and I think he's fine going over the fiscal cliff. The it will be them scrambling to make a deal as their corporate masters will not be happy.

  32. rocktonsam

    Bob Corker leaving the Senate for one of the K street jobs so he can" continue the fight!" in 5,4,3, ..

  33. emmelemm

    Good to know. I wouldn't quite say I'm hefty {not that there's anything wrong with that!}, but I've got a few pounds on the lovely model…

    What? I LIKE CAKE. TOO MUCH.

  34. Chow Yun Flat

    I hope the President will decide that he is sick of being blackmailed by a bunch of punks and jerks–tell Corker and the rest of them that if they want to shut down the government by refusing to raise the debt ceiling they should do it and reap the consequences.

    It would make sequestration seem mild in comparison.

  35. Negropolis

    Oh, Michiganders know more about Bob Corker than we'd like to. During the auto loans debate, this guy had the balls to come up to the international auto show and repeat his "let Detroit go bankrupt" schtick and shit. The UAW members protesting him almost kicked his little ass…and not with votes.

    That said, though, to this day, I'm still on the fence about who is more arrogant between Bob Corker and Harold Ford the Younger.

  36. sundaytrucker

    Sorry I got here late…Go Pats!!…Is "let them eat cat food as long as the gubmint doesn't have to pay for it" taken? Thx

  37. cousinitt

    No worries about getting here late. I took one look at this page and right away I saw "cat food" and a panty-covered crotch giving me tongue. I have been glued to this page for several hours now.

  38. ElPinche

    That pic….lord I'm trying to restrain myself. Let me channel Herman "Khaaaann!" Melville.

    "…to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee…with votes. "

  39. Negropolis

    OT: It's going to be a long day in Lansing, today:

    LANSING — Riot gear was stockpiled in a back room at the Capitol on Monday as State Police prepared for what's expected to be one of the largest demonstrations in Lansing history today, as the House takes up right-to-work legislation.

    Officials were also seen Monday briefing more than a dozen undercover officers — dressed as working people in jeans and ball caps — on how to blend in with the crowd today and respond to any trouble or suspicious activity.

    "Because of lessons learned in Wisconsin and Ohio, we are taking precautions," including riot gear that will only be used if needed, said Inspector Gene Adamczyk. "The State Police have come here prepared."

    What Mr. Adamczyk means is that he and his goons are ready to the busts some Dirty Fucking Hippie heads.

    Dawn Kettinger, a spokeswoman for the Michigan Nurses Association, said her members and others she has spoken to are planning peaceful demonstrations and the overwhelming police presence is "worrisome."

    "We have tremendous respect for the police who are doing their jobs," Kettinger said. "At the same time, it's hard not to see that build-up of police presence, that's been constantly escalating, might not be a tool to silence citizens."

    She's being kind. That's exactly what they are here for. It's getting crazy around here. 30,000 – 50,000 people expected down there in a few hours.

      1. Negropolis

        Yep. Everyone has been told to dress in red to make it easier…

        It'll be interesting to see how many of the undercovers got the memo.

        BTW, here is the live blog of what's taking place in downtown Lansing for anyone interested in following through-out the day. There are already thousands of people at the capitol, choppers already overhead, state police as thick as bees.

  40. freakishlywrong

    We the people, are under no obligation to give Boner and his Krazy Kaucus shit. By the way, Corker, you're not extorting from "Democrats", you're extorting from the American People. That's our fucking money, asshole. The Democrats should not in any way give the wingnuts political cover to dismantle our safety nets.

    Why can't this ever be pointed out?

    1. James Michael Curley

      tl;dr!

      The bane of genuine political discourse in our era.

      But one can imagine there is an upside.
      For over thirty years the Republican party has crafted a position, which with lightly diverging guises, has been based on the enviable bumper sticker of "Lower Taxes!"
      Now, with the likelihood they will need to give up that sacrosanct mantra, at least temporarily, where are they?

      Nowhere!

      Their entire base has been trained for thirty years to ignore any political utterance that lasts longer that a bean fart. They will be wandering in the wilderness trying to get people to listen to "Let me explain, I went back on thirty years of promises because … " as this same audience has been trained to believe that there is no justifiable 'because' when a dirty, anti-American, politician raises their taxes.

  41. SaintRond

    What the fuck? I'm never going to convince these old people to take responsibility for their lives. They're ungrateful and they don't realize (or care) that every single day they're getting a treat cats like.

  42. DahBoner

    My filtered water tastes impure.My turkey and giblets has begun to taste exactly like my whitefish and tuna in gravy.

    It's all the same.

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