TEAM OF RIVALS  12:11 pm December 10, 2012

Fox & Friends: Republican Senator Not Republican Enough To Win Confirmation To Obama’s Cabinet

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

There is absolutely nothing President Bablack H. Obamblack can do to make the GOP happy. Putting forward the Heritage Foundation’s pro-business healthcare reform? SOCIALISMS. Proposing the Republican answer to climate change (from back when Republicans believed in climate change), “cap and trade”? The greatest takeover of private enterprise by government the WORLD HAS EVER KNOWN. Possibly nominating former GOP Senator Chuck Hagel for Secretary of Defense or another top NatSec position? Well, let’s see what Fox & Friends’ Gretchen Carlson has to say about THAT:

Hagel’s opposition to the 2007 troop surge in Iraq and his accompanying then-Senator Obama on a trip to Afghanistan and Iraq in 2008 means he is “not a typical Republican” and that “could present some obstacles” to his Senate confirmation.

We are so old — HOW OLD ARE WE?! — we are so old that we remember when Chuck Hagel was considered a Conservative Republican as were total RINOs like Orrin Hatch and Bob Bennett or Bill Bennett, whichever one was not the gambling addict/morality scold.

But at any rate, this certainly presents a new bar for confirmation to the Democratic president’s cabinet: The Democrat must not only name Republicans to advise him and run his departments, he must name HOLY SHIT REPUBLICANS, like maybe Ghost Jesse Helms.

We hear Donald Rumsfeld is available.

[MediaMatters]

 
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{ 105 comments }

SorosBot December 10, 2012 at 12:14 pm

Last time I looked, the Democrats controlled the Senate though.

HRH_Maddie December 10, 2012 at 12:19 pm

The Senate is now a minority-rules chamber, hadn't you heard?

OneDollarJuana December 10, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Until the filibuster rules are changed the minority will control the debate.

SorosBot December 10, 2012 at 12:30 pm

It certainly looks like Reid is planning on some manner of filibuster reform, possibly involving requiring someone to actually get up there and really filibuster instead of just stating that they intend to do so. Of course if the GOP filibusters even a non-controversial cabinet appointments then that means their "filibuster everything" strategy has really gotten out of control.

glamourdammerung December 10, 2012 at 3:13 pm

The Turtle Queen was filibustering its own bill last week. That should be a pretty clear indication that this "filibuster everything" nonsense is out of hand.

hagajim December 10, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Advise and consent, advise and consent….filibuster the Hagel outta him.

ManchuCandidate December 10, 2012 at 12:14 pm

Also, Hagel was in combat during the Vietnam War and puts US Amercia before GOPers.

So yeah, not a conservative. chickenhawk.

GoodDogThor December 10, 2012 at 12:52 pm

So, good 'swift boat' potential, then.

ttommyunger December 10, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Still a sellout. I don't trust the man

SnarkOff December 10, 2012 at 12:14 pm

Roger Ailes as Press Secretary. The Koch Bros. as co-heads of the EPA. Hitler for the Department of Health and Human Services. Ralph Reed as Surgeon General.

sullivanst December 10, 2012 at 12:24 pm

Hitler's far too liberal on health policy to be acceptable in that office. How could you not know this? Don't you even read Free Republic?

actor212 December 10, 2012 at 12:29 pm

True. Rather than let people die of starvation or ill health, he instituted a government solution.

Lizzietish81 December 10, 2012 at 12:30 pm

Well he WAS driven by empathy.

MonkeyMotion December 10, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Sarah Palin – Secretary of Education.

actor212 December 10, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Hagel, rhymes with bagel. Why does FOX hates the Joose?

ButthurtWingers2012 December 10, 2012 at 3:37 pm

That's about as honest as any of the "Obama's an anti-semite" bullshit that's fallen out of the rights ass. Like when they were calling him an anti-semite for wanting to institute Wallstreet reform…because joooz is bankers. Or that he wasn't spending every waking minute in Israel…a standard ZERO GOP presidents have set or been expected to set…they just make me laugh.

Hammiepants December 10, 2012 at 12:16 pm

He could cure all cancer from the back of a golden unicorn while passing out Mac-10s and miniature American flags to all and they would still find something to bitch about.

sullivanst December 10, 2012 at 12:22 pm

GOVURNMENT TAKOVER OF TEH ARMS INDUHSTRY!!one!1exc!amat1onpo!nt!!

Preferred Customer December 10, 2012 at 12:40 pm

Here's how much of a geek (and not a gun nut) I am: I read your comment and thought "Mac 10? Is Apple releasing something new?"

NellCote71 December 10, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Me, too. It's not?

One_who_wanders December 10, 2012 at 1:20 pm

I want that poster. . .

zippy_w_pinhead December 10, 2012 at 1:45 pm
freakishlywrong December 10, 2012 at 12:17 pm

Liz Cheney though. The Liz would sail right through. If Fux was doing the confirming.

actor212 December 10, 2012 at 12:18 pm

We are so old — HOW OLD ARE WE?! — we are so old that we remember when Chuck Hagel was considered a Conservative Republican

HAH! *I'm* so old, I remember when Hagel was considered a liberal for wanting to restore funding to the VA when he was in the Reagan White House!

Mumbletypeg December 10, 2012 at 12:19 pm

The "REAL" REPUBLI-CANS can't hear you Rebecca — they are still busy touching up their photo's from the 2012 Great Skinny-Dippy in Teh Holy Seas to send all of their friends in nice clever clip-art bordered Season's Greetings!

CrunchyKnee December 10, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Last years Bamz would capitulate to Fox (Repubs) in 10 seconds. Let's see if he can hold out for at least 30 seconds this next year.

HRH_Maddie December 10, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Dick Cheney supports gay marriage. Is he considered "Republican enough"?

BigSkullF*ckingDog December 10, 2012 at 12:47 pm

Cheney gets a pass on gay marriage as long as kittens remain his sole source of sustenance.

HistoriCat December 10, 2012 at 2:20 pm

"Dick" "Cheney"? No, never heard of him. Served under "George W. Bush"?? Nope – never heard of him either. You must be making these names up!

Veritas78 December 10, 2012 at 5:53 pm

He IS gay-married. Have you seen a recent photo of Lynne?

EatsBabyDingos December 10, 2012 at 12:19 pm

I hear Joe Walsh isn't in jail yet. Yet.

freakishlywrong December 10, 2012 at 12:20 pm

This is how they roll. Remember, the Sunday after the President won re-election fucking Gregory asked if Obama would appoint Rombot to some post to help with the "fiscal cliff"? Remember when the librul media was pushing Democrats on to Bush? Me neither.

RadioBitchFace December 10, 2012 at 12:20 pm

The obvious choice here: John Bolton.

Lucidamente1 December 10, 2012 at 12:20 pm

Gretchen doesn't like him because it was Hagel who remarked somewhere that all world-historical events occur twice, but forget to add first as tragedy and then as miserable farce.

sewollef December 10, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Wait, I thought is was Marx who said that.

Trouble is, I can't remember if it was Groucho or Zeppo.

hagajim December 10, 2012 at 12:20 pm

Why doesn't Barry just nominate McConnell and Boehner for positions in the cabinet…then these morons could filibuster themselves…oh wait, McConnell has already done that. Never mind.

sullivanst December 10, 2012 at 12:20 pm

Being able to work in any capacity with Barack Obama would automatically make any Republican "not a typical" one, but it's kind of a basic requirement of any Cabinet job.

EatsBabyDingos December 10, 2012 at 12:20 pm

Ham Biscuits for Secretary of State. Or just secretary under the desk Boehner sits at in the White House. Or Lord Jigglypuff of Pokemon.

Goonemeritus December 10, 2012 at 12:21 pm

Considering the continuing Republican move to the right we might best get ahead of this by nominating Francisco Franco who I believe should be conservative enough for at least two more years.

gingerland62 December 10, 2012 at 12:44 pm

He is still dead.

Biff December 10, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Mamie Eisenhower, then?

qwerty42 December 10, 2012 at 12:21 pm

Well, I'm expecting yet another round of butt-hurt and whining after whatever is done to resolve the financial business so they will be all over themselves with resentment. Of course, having shrewdly banked on old white guys to carry them through, the Republicans should be fine. Just fine.

GoodDogThor December 10, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Hold on… old white guy… veteran… def sec…

This is good news for John McCain!

Chow Yun Flat December 10, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Since Hagel is any kind of Republican he should just GTFO.

pinkocommi December 10, 2012 at 12:23 pm

I am nine months pregnant and my husband and I are struggling for a baby name, but I just realized the one name that would ensure my son's success in US politics… Reagan. Of course, I won't go there because I'd have to barf everytime I said the name, but it would be funny to see Republicans'heads explode if they had to decide whether to vote for (hopefully a progressive) named after their savior…. Tempting.

Lizzietish81 December 10, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Wait a second…Reagan was the name of the girl in the Excorcist…and she puked on everyone…

OH MY GOD IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!

Lascauxcaveman December 10, 2012 at 12:44 pm

the one name that would ensure my son's success in US politics… Reagan.

Only if your li'l boy Reagan is running for office in a red state. Doesn't work here in Warshington state. Even after nearly $3 million worth of out-of-state money was spent to smear his Dem opponent.

(And yes, his mother named him after Ronald Reagan.)

PubOption December 10, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Reagan is much better than Goneril.

rickmaci December 10, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Something tells me a candidate with a mommy named pinkocommi is not going to get very far with the TeaTards, Reagan or no Reagan. (And best wishes to all with the baby birthing.)

actor212 December 10, 2012 at 12:24 pm

I suggest Obama should nominate the Dalai Lama first, then when these asshats say he isn't bloody enough, substitute Hagel and then ask them how fucking bloody they need?

TootsStansbury December 10, 2012 at 12:24 pm

Let's see…we have a moderate right (most Dems), the John Birch wing or the Republic party (AOTK), what are we missing? A Left? Yes! A Left!

How did we get into this mess and how do we get out of it?

Lizzietish81 December 10, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Nixon, its all his fault.

Granted he would be slapping his forehead over how far its gone. After all, he thought the John Birch Society was too crazy.

freakishlywrong December 10, 2012 at 12:33 pm

It's all those liburls parading around our Sunday "News" shows. All those labor representatives..Corporate Media be it's name.

TootsStansbury December 10, 2012 at 7:18 pm

Ima gonna rant in this here dead thread. There IS a left, prolly a pretty sizable one. Problem is; we aren't allowed a seat at the grown ups' table and when we dare speak up, we get our mouths washed out with pepper spray. What to do?

BaldarTFlagass December 10, 2012 at 12:25 pm

How many bombs could a bomb-Chuck Chuck if a bomb-Chuck could Chuck bombs?

sewollef December 10, 2012 at 1:04 pm

aotk

editor December 10, 2012 at 12:25 pm

yes, it is a real problem, when a president might nominate a member of the opposition to his cabinet. bipartisanship is just one step on that slippery slope to eh, sharia? well, something bad, anyway. so glad fox is on the case.

SexySmurf December 10, 2012 at 12:26 pm

his accompanying then-Senator Obama on a trip to Afghanistan and Iraq in 2008 means he is “not a typical Republican”

Typical Republicans don't have black friends (unless they say something stupid. Then they have lots of them).

gingerland62 December 10, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Though I find your photo disturbing-very insightful response!

Beowoof December 10, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Oh you know, nowadays to be a real republican you have to be a raving fucking loon, with out enough sense to come in out of the snowstorms we used to have.

BaldarTFlagass December 10, 2012 at 12:27 pm

his accompanying then-Senator Obama on a trip to Afghanistan and Iraq in 2008 means he is “not a typical Republican”

What if he told Obama "go get your fucking shine box" during those trips abroad? Would that make him typically Republican enough?

Lascauxcaveman December 10, 2012 at 12:28 pm

The deficit-hawk Republicans are just trying to cut spending. They're afraid Chuck is going to haggle his way to a higher salary.

Lizzietish81 December 10, 2012 at 12:29 pm

This is like that scene in Zoolander when he thinks he's won the meaningless award and gets up and makes an acceptance speech and everyone just stares at him…except he figured it out in 30 seconds and the Republicans haven't figured it out after a month.

Terry December 10, 2012 at 12:32 pm

So, basically, travelling to Afghanistan with Obama has given him cooties.

SorosBot December 10, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Why would anyone want to nominate a Republican for Secretary of Defense, though, when Republicans have proven over and over again that they're horrible on national security, while Democrats have a record that includes victory in World War II and getting Osama bin Laden?

MissTaken December 10, 2012 at 12:35 pm

Cuz Dems be pussies, duh!

SorosBot December 10, 2012 at 12:38 pm

It's true that the Dems haven't invaded another country just for the hell of it since way, way back in the JFK and LBJ administrations, and even then old Ike had to get them started on that one.

BigSkullF*ckingDog December 10, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Yes, but Bush said MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!!!!!!!!

LibrarianX December 10, 2012 at 12:33 pm

non compos mentis

James Michael Curley December 10, 2012 at 12:35 pm

When will someone throw a bucket of water on Gretchen Carlson?

Toomush_Infer December 10, 2012 at 12:42 pm

Contest!!!,,,,

Lizzietish81 December 10, 2012 at 12:43 pm

It would mess up her circuits.

edgydrifter December 10, 2012 at 12:36 pm

For the last time, Barry–you won, stop playing patty-cakes with these unthinking anthropomorphic man-sized shambling dicks! Nominate than elfin socialist Kucinich for Sec. Def. and tell Mitch McConnell to blow it out his spew-hole if he doesn't like it! FFS!!

mormos December 10, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Hahahaha this for the win!

Oblios_Cap December 10, 2012 at 12:39 pm

It's good to see that the GOP learned all of the right lessons form their electoral beatdown.

Lizzietish81 December 10, 2012 at 12:42 pm

I'm frankly ok with them not learning and continuing to fail.

EatsBabyDingos December 10, 2012 at 12:39 pm

But what about the Spanish Inquisition?!?!?!

sullivanst December 10, 2012 at 12:42 pm

I'm not expecting it.

Lizzietish81 December 10, 2012 at 1:02 pm

I don't think they exist.

BigSkullF*ckingDog December 10, 2012 at 12:42 pm

Gotta love a democracy in which the MINORITY is allowed to hold the government hostage while they have a poopie pantsed tantrum every time they don't get exactly what they want, even when what they want gets crazier and crazier every year.

Allmighty_Manos December 10, 2012 at 12:43 pm

If Obama wants to appoint you to anything, you're not Republican enough. It's the Wingnut Paradox.

Oblios_Cap December 10, 2012 at 12:44 pm

If a Farm Bill isn't passed soon, their corporate masters will be greatly displeased. It's like they can't actually do anything and only know the word "no".

Like a two-year-old.

mormos December 10, 2012 at 4:50 pm

two year olds also know the word mine, which, admittedly, republicans are pretty familiar with as well.

Schmannnity December 10, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Georg Hegel for Sec. Def.

ffredpalakon December 10, 2012 at 12:45 pm

When I hear "typical republican" these days, I usually picture somebody reading aloud from the constitution in their christian dungeon, while in the background the family from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre cooks up some hippie for dinner. So yeah, it's not quite the compliment it used to be.

mrblifil December 10, 2012 at 12:46 pm

The US military-industrial death complex is the finest in the world and it's just too damn valuable and important to allow some liberal fag to run it.

BaldarTFlagass December 10, 2012 at 12:46 pm

I guess they figure that Bamz and Chuck probably shared an airplane on those trips, so Chuck probably was invaded and replicated by Obama's political philosophy, like in John Carpenter's The Thing. Liberalism is more contagious than SARS, Ebola, and AIDS combined.

Oblios_Cap December 10, 2012 at 12:59 pm

That's too science-y for them to believe.

BZ1 December 10, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Hagel served in Viet Nam and is a decorated veteran with two Purple Hearts, not good enough, considering that Kerry was vilified for his war record.

Lizzietish81 December 10, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Except that McCain was honored for his Vietnam service. Clinton was criticized for not going to Vietnam, while Bush and Romney were given excuses.

The point? Republicans aren't very consistent on this one.

sullivanst December 10, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Nah, they're entirely consistent: IOKIYAR, INOKIYAD (or not R "enough").

keepwalkin December 10, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Susan Rice -SoS
Glenn Rice -SoD

We don't need no stinkin' Republicans in PBO's cabinet!!

Callyson December 10, 2012 at 12:51 pm

This is bad news for Scott Brown. You know he was just itching to claim Kerry's seat.

As Nelson Muntz said…

kittensdontlie December 10, 2012 at 12:59 pm

For confirmation, if a cursory check yields the Mark of the Beast, then Hagel is a RINO.

arihaya December 10, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Clearly all Obama need to do is to demonstrate some real leadership by being less obviously blah ..

arihaya December 10, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Imagine Republicans' reaction if Obama nominated Jesse fucking Jackson !!

sewollef December 10, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Well, that's what Palin said….

An_Outhouse December 10, 2012 at 1:11 pm

I would nominate Chuck Hagel as Secertary of Cleaning up After Bo And Licking Christmas Greetings Envelopes.

TheGyrus December 10, 2012 at 1:12 pm

This would be Obama's second Republican Secretary of Defense, after Robert Gates. How about nominating a goddamned Democrat?

ttommyunger December 10, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Barry absolutely be gracious and generous to the R's, after all, that's the way they roll when they're on top. NOT!

GeorgiaBurning December 10, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Nominate Ron Paul for SecDef. That would really turn the Repubs inside out, he wants to cut everything.

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 10, 2012 at 1:56 pm

"means he is “not a typical Republican” " = Does not molest children.

dcjdjay December 10, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Gretchen Carlson is evidence that Stanford and other top schools have an affirmative action program for dumb Stepford bimbos in training.

Barrelhse December 10, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Gretchen should stick her thumb up her ass to give her head some company.

DahBoner December 11, 2012 at 12:31 pm

HOLY SHIT REPUBLICANS

Just add BATH SALTS…

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