There is absolutely nothing President Bablack H. Obamblack can do to make the GOP happy. Putting forward the Heritage Foundation’s pro-business healthcare reform? SOCIALISMS. Proposing the Republican answer to climate change (from back when Republicans believed in climate change), “cap and trade”? The greatest takeover of private enterprise by government the WORLD HAS EVER KNOWN. Possibly nominating former GOP Senator Chuck Hagel for Secretary of Defense or another top NatSec position? Well, let’s see what Fox & Friends’ Gretchen Carlson has to say about THAT:

Hagel’s opposition to the 2007 troop surge in Iraq and his accompanying then-Senator Obama on a trip to Afghanistan and Iraq in 2008 means he is “not a typical Republican” and that “could present some obstacles” to his Senate confirmation.

We are so old — HOW OLD ARE WE?! — we are so old that we remember when Chuck Hagel was considered a Conservative Republican as were total RINOs like Orrin Hatch and Bob Bennett or Bill Bennett, whichever one was not the gambling addict/morality scold.

But at any rate, this certainly presents a new bar for confirmation to the Democratic president’s cabinet: The Democrat must not only name Republicans to advise him and run his departments, he must name HOLY SHIT REPUBLICANS, like maybe Ghost Jesse Helms.

We hear Donald Rumsfeld is available.


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