Scott Walker’s Wife Makes Strong Bid to be Grifter-in-Chief

  money for nothing and your kitchens for free

we had to use this because we already used gatsby this weekOh good lord it is impossible to go back and see how many times we’ve had to write about horrible semi-human Scott Walker and money. We have approximately eleventy-gillion tabs open right now looking at past Wonkette missives about just how Walker’s entire political career is built on dicking over the poors while lining his own pockets. Remember Walker cockblocking Milwaukee from requiring employers to have sick days? How about being a whiny little twerp about only making $144K a year? And let’s not forget that golden oldie: buying iPads for state workers as long as they work in the agency you created.  Basically, Scott Walker is an untrammeled dick. However, for really unvarnished awfulness, you really need to look at Walker’s wife, the improbably named Tonette Walker.

Believe it or not, yr Wonkette has had to write about the female half of this unholy union last year when she begged rich ladies to give her money so that the mansion she and Scotty live in for free could be even nicer. Take it away, younger, hotter Wonkette of last year  blockquoting the ever-living shit out of the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel:

The first lady said in her email accompanying the invitation that she hopes the event generates enough “resources to help us restore the Residence to its intended historic charm, beauty, and value.”

“I am inviting fellow leading ladies like yourself to please join me in donating a purse filled with some of your favorite things. The purses will then be raffled off at the event,” Tonette Walker added. “For example, I’ll be donating a Tignanello bag filled with some of my can’t-live-without items like my favorite shade of Bobbi Brown lipstick and an Aveda hand cream that I can’t get enough of.” [...]

Annie Nolan, assistant to the first lady, offered a different take on the event.

The Walkers are upgrading the mansion, Nolan emphasized, without dipping into state coffers.

Yes, back in the hazy yesteryear of 2011, First Lady Walkerette had her spokescreature self-righteously explain that no how, no way were they going to need state money to fix up their free mansion. You, dear readers, will be unsurprised to learn that this commitment to fiscal responsibility did not last long at all:

The Wisconsin Department of Administration is asking the State Building Commission to approve $478,700 in general fund supported borrowing for kitchen renovations at the Governor’s mansion.

The request for the revamp of both the first floor kitchen and the second floor private quarters kitchenette originally came from First Lady Tonette Walker.[...]

[I]n the DOA’s request to the State Building Commission, the project description includes several changes to the kitchen with the installation of new equipment, such as commercial grade storage cabinets, shelving, disposal, dishwasher, oven, stove, refrigerators and freezers.

It also calls for the installation of new cabinetry and updates to existing ceiling and lighting features.

Later in the article there’s some arglebargle about how there will be some fundraising so it is unclear just how much of the cost of this Cadillac, nay, this stretch Hummer of a kitchen will be covered by donations and what will be suctioned up from taxpayers. Why kid yourself, Wisconsin Wonketters? You will pay for all of this!

As your Editrix thoughtfully noted, $478K worth of kitchen is a FUCKLOAD of kitchen. You probably wish you had a free mansion that someone else would pay to make nicer, don’t you? Too bad. You likely hate the poors and the unions too little to get all these things. Go rock your integrity to sleep while you eat thin gruel and heat your house with the oven, slacker.

[WKOW-TV]

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176 comments

    1. Negropolis

      The damn things are so hard to get rid of. I mean, we tried to get rid of them (with votes), twice, now…

      1. kittensdontlie

        How did that happen when Obama won the state by 7%. I am flashingback to when Shrub got elected twice.

        1. Negropolis

          Gubernatorial elections are on off years plays a big part of it. I mean, a Republican won Michigan that year by 20 points after the Socialist-Muslin persident having won in 2008 by nearly 17 points.

  1. Monsieur_Grumpe

    Fiscal responsibility is really expensive. How many Hot-Pockets do they need to cook at the same time anyway?

  2. NellCote71

    You can heat the house with your oven. Who knew? Thanks, Life Hacker.

    And, no biggie, but I am a Baby Boomer, not a Slacker.

  3. Monsieur_Grumpe

    I've been reading the Milwaukee Journal fairly regularly and it seems that a couple of Walker's hired hands have been convicted of felonies (misuse of public funds and stealing veteran's money) and the judge is keeping the investigation open to make sure they catch everyone involved. Let's hope Walker gets caught with his hands in the cookie jar too.

    http://www.jsonline.com/news/milwaukee/appeals-co
    http://www.jsonline.com/news/milwaukee/plea-deal-

    1. 102415

      They put CN Gov Rowland in actual jail over kitchen cabinets.There has got to be a way to do this in Wisconsin.

  4. memzilla

    … $478K worth of kitchen is a FUCKLOAD of kitchen. …

    Look on the bright side: when the revolution comes, after we line Scott and Tonette Walker up against the wall and shoot them — WITH VOTES — we'll be able to cater a hellacious afterparty.

    1. Negropolis

      Hell, for $478k renovation, you could actually buy five houses in Metro Detroit at the current median price, and we're not talking little shacks either.

    2. JustPixelz

      "…shoot them — WITH VOTES…"

      The NRA will lobby against that. Shooting with bullets is an American tradition protected by the Second Amendment.

    1. Misty Malarky

      I will show the world that I can be its master! I will perfect my own race of people. A race of atomic supermen which will conquer the world! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

  5. SayItWithWookies

    Hey, every governor's mansion needs work every now and then, so that's not a big deal — but I looked up Tonette Walker, and boy, what a piece of work — she supports this faith-based women's addiction treatment center — and by faith-based, they mean some totally ineffective scam that gets goverment money to preach:

    The nonprofit's image took a hit in 2001 when John Castellani, the Teen Challenge executive director, went before a congressional hearing and testified that Teen Challenge hires only Christians and that program participants often convert to evangelical Christianity. He added some Jewish clients become "completed Jews," meaning they convert to Christianity.

    And the bit following the above section establishes that their success statistics are pretty faith-based too. Scam 'em all and let God sort 'em out, I guess.

    1. Callyson

      Residents of the Robby Dawson Home attend scheduled programs from 6:30 a.m. to 10 p.m., Harper says, with time dedicated for one-on-one or small group sessions to work on Bible studies and Scripture memorization.

      Oh, for Christ's sake.

      /FFS, also, too

    2. shawnthesheep

      As someone who successfully completed a drug rehab at the age of 16, and worked in the field for a few years when I was older, I find this really disgusting. I came up against these faith-based places often. And preaching the gospel was always much more important than the health and well-being of the kids they "treated."

      Add DARE and the lovable Nancy Reagan's "Just Say No" program and you have the comprehensive conservative drug treatment model. "Don't suck on that crack pipe, suck on this bible."

  6. editor

    obviously, i am no first lady (not even second or third), but that kitchen? three times the cost of my entire house. and i life in the sf bay area. also, refrigerators and freezers, plural? damn, ms. tonette, can i come over if i bring a purse with my can't-live-without things (prozac, night train, vaseline) in it for you to auction off?

    1. Butch_Wagstaff

      We live in the Museum District here in Richmond where the houses can run anywhere from quarter of a million to 1 point something million if they are on Monument. And the cost of this kitchen that Evita Walker wants is twice the amount that our house is worth. I know it's a governor's mansion but Jesus Flying Saucer Christ!

      1. gullywompr

        Butch, do me a solid – where's the good coffee shops down there? My son goes to VCU, and whenever I drive him there, I always need a cuppa to get me back on the road. I tried Lamplighter Roasting Co, which was really pretty danged good, but I'm always searching for the holy grail.

        1. SayItWithWookies

          You could try Captain Buzzee's in Church Hill (27th and E. Broad) which is the best place I've heard about, but that's a ways away from VCU. Closer by there's Crossroads on Brunswick north of Cary Street which is pretty good and has lots of homemade pastries, so that's probably a better bet.

          1. gullywompr

            I know Church Hill. I attended the wedding of a good friend at St. John's Church, (and unfortunately just last year went back there for her funeral, poor girl). I've also seen that Crossroads place when I was strolling around, I'll give it a try. Thanks buddy.

        2. Butch_Wagstaff

          I don't know how much I can help you in that department since I havn't been in a coffee shop in years. But I did find this list of shops (that also have free wifi): http://richmondgoodlife.com/richmond_free_wifi.ht

          The only place I've been to on the list is the Black Hand Coffee Co. & I thought they were pretty good–at least at the time. I've heard good things about Ellwood's Coffee.

    2. gingerland62

      I was thinking the same thing about my home in the Bay Area. This is freaking Wisconsin, I wonder what the average home price is there?

  7. NellCote71

    So, going by the stripper name rule, her dog's name was Tonette and she lived on Walker Street?

  8. Doktor Zoom

    Asked for comment, Mr. Walker said "Something something Michelle Obama vacation something something."

  9. Maman

    Holy shite peeps. I have a grandiose kitch in my house because we are old, fat and like to cook and it didn't cost an 1/8th of that total

      1. Negropolis

        Hell, Vandalia/Effingham/(fill in the downstate blank) might as well be in Kentucky, let me tell you.

  10. Lot_49

    Okay, take a deep breath, the governor's mansion is used for entertaining, perhaps large groups. You need a commercial kitchen, and everything has to meet rigorous restaurant fire and safety codes, lots of tile, stainless, etc. Two or three walk-in reefers and freezers aren't unimaginable. Just the fire-suppressing fume hood over a stove can cost $20K. You don't want those bratwursts on the grill to catch fire on the grill, either. Nearly half a mill is not necessarily outrageous. For all we know they might have used union contractors too.

    But Scott Walker is still a jerk.

    1. BerkeleyBear

      If you were opening a restaurant, half a mill might make sense to put in the kitchen. If it was an effort to make the whole building usable and ADA compliant (like Indiana did a while back) again, it makes sense. But this is a lot of money for a kitchen that will not be used very often for commercial grade cooking (and I'm curious how much is for the "kitchenette"). At least in my experience governor's mansions aren't used for large groups all that often – in part because you can't fundraise on the grounds. At least not the kind of events requiring a massive brigade style kitchen, as opposed to receptions with catered food prepped off site.

      But that said, every governor seems to have pretensions to grandeur, and a lot of their spouses are idiots who think what Laura Bush and Nancy Reagan did in the White House was awesome.

      1. Lot_49

        My (modest) experience at cost estimating is with institutional facilities, where, as you say, half a mill is not out of line. I think we need to see the construction documents including as-builts, the fund request and project justification. SHOW US THE CDs, WALKER!

    2. bobbert

      Half a mil in WI is the kitchen for a hotel banquet facility. This is the fucking Governor's residence. There are several existing venues in Madison suitable for large dinner events (far larger than the Gov's place could accommodate).

      What really makes this shitty is that Walker is ostensibly a Teabagger. Teabaggers should, to be consistent, oppose major expenses for showy entertainment by the Gov. But hey, consistency, hobgoblins, something something wtf?

      1. Negropolis

        Half a mil in WI is the kitchen for a hotel banquet facility. This is the fucking Governor's residence. There are several existing venues in Madison suitable for large dinner events (far larger than the Gov's place could accommodate).

        THANK YOU.

        There is no credible excuse for the expense.

    3. malsperanza

      Fine, $479k for a commercial kitchen, paid for by the Wisconsin taxpayers at a time when their governor is preaching austerity and cuts to services. That's for sure a priority for the state.

      So let's add up contractors, workers, and – let's just assume – all the materials and appliances are Made in Wisconsin, right? Right? Folks, take a deep breath: this provides jobs for at least 15 people for a month or so each. Job Creation in action!

      As opposed to, say, this ridiculous boondoggle: http://renewenergyblog.wordpress.com/2011/05/06/t… (and http://www.wisconsinfarmreport.com/News-2719-Will

      Or this one: http://www.jsonline.com/business/114340244.html

      Or this: http://host.madison.com/wsj/news/local/govt-and-p

      1. bikerlaureate

        If you want to grift that much and not deliberately flip the bird to the people you're screwing, you either lie about what that amount of money is for ("foundation maintenance") or you spread the grift over two or three years.

        This is stone-cold disregard for the austerity riff, whether or not they expected it to become publicized.

  11. johnnyzhivago

    Scott Walker and the Tonettes – Every Thursday and Saturday at the Holiday Inn Ambassador Lounge in West Green Bay just off Rt 32 (past the Paper Mill and over the RR tracks)

    Ladies drink free every Tuesday (bring ID). Truckers welcome.

      1. johnnyzhivago

        When I was young and naive I used to think it was discrimination to give ladies free drinks on certain nights. That was until I met ladies who had been taking advantage of the free drinks.

      1. FeloniousMonk

        Y'know, I can't find any videos of the Sturgis "novel uses for a vegetable" show. Did they tone down their act before the internet came along?

    1. editor

      not sure if anyone knew, but there actually have been several musical ensembles by that name. a 1940s all-girl jazz combo, a 1950s all-girl white doowop group, a 1960s all-girl african-american vocal group (i think they were made up out of raelettes survivors) … maybe more, who knows.

      http://www.last.fm/music/The Tonettes
      http://www.thetonettes.com/
      http://www.soulfulkindamusic.net/tonettes.htm

      hope these work.

      (either way, all of them are cooler than missy walker.)

      d'you think her parents named her after any of these?

  12. NYNYNYjr

    I don't even live in WIsconsin, but it feels like he's been governor for 10 years… when is this over?

  13. Butch_Wagstaff

    So "completed Jews" are really Christians? Is it something like the Messianic Jews? Or do these "completed Jews" drop all the Jewish stuff? In which case they couldn't really be Jews? Also, what's an "uncompleted Jew"? A Southern Baptist who's not circumcised?
    I'm confused.

    1. SayItWithWookies

      Well everyone knows that since Jesus came after the rest of the Jewish prophets, that he was the culmination of Judaic belief, so any Jews who cling to the Old Testament covenants are just hanging on to an outdated agreement with The LORD. For some reason this doesn't apply to Muhammad, who came along later. Or to Jim Jones, Joseph Smith, David Koresh or any of the others for that matter.

    2. finallyhappy

      I feel like a completed Jew on weekends when I go to services more than once-maybe exhausted Jew is more on target.. Next weekend, I might be at services Friday morning, Sat morning and Sunday morning(and I am a real Jew – not messianic, "completed" or any other bs thing)

        1. glasspusher

          Funny you should mention that. Between my son's braces and his lack of oral hygiene motivation lies a whole lot of plaque. I'm going to get him a water pik this week!Yeah, we party all night, too.

  14. natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Questions: Will the kitchens be built using union labor? No, of course not.

    Will the new kitchens have palm trees? When I am hired as a non-labor worker, hell yes.

    Yes, Tonette, there really are palm trees in Wisconsin. Instead of granite counter tops: palm trees. Instead of stainless steel appliances: palm trees. The walls will be papered with protest signs and every screen in the residence will show protesters chanting "Whose house? Our house!" and actually they won't be screens but actual people, like me, outside your front door screaming as loudly as we can in a peaceful, non-violent manner.

    I'd say "with votes" but the voting thing didn't work the last time. Instead, we'll just peacefully keep our eyes on them. And be as irritating as possible. Peacefully.

  15. cousinitt

    To be fair to the Walkers, the original news story failed to note that the seemingly extravagant cost included an abattoir for the preparation of human souls. Hella expensive.

    Hope that helps.

  16. Pat_Pending

    I wonder how much she will attempt to haul out when that sniveling asswipe leaves office. Prolly all the appliances, the table and chairs, the dishes and cutlery, and any cabinets she can pry off the walls. Cunt.

    1. glamourdammerung

      Scott Brown is on his way out of office. Though at least one of the others is probably on their way out as well, but it is going to involve conviction(s).

        1. Negropolis

          How could I forget Santorum? It's Santorum, right, 'cause I don't listen to that guy's show at all.

          1. Geminisunmars

            I knew a little nudge would help you recall. I don't listen to Dan Savage either, I only know of him from Bill Maher's show, and of course the Wonkerettitude.

    1. Designer_Rants

      Those are days that, instead of some mobbed up sociopath holding onto the lever that makes the assembly line go so fast that people hurt themselves in haste, you get a New Kid who doesn't understand that he's supposed to be sadistic. It's easier, but if you have to piss, you still might as well just hope your bladder doesn't rupture.

  17. natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Basically, Scott Walker is an untrammeled dick.

    We trammeled. Oh, how we trammeled. We just couldn't find it.

  18. glamourdammerung

    The teatards apparently already got their talking point to whine about the number of trees in the public tour areas of the White House and President Obama having vacations.

    Personal responsibility!

  19. iburl

    Why should she suffer the indignities of having her servants labor in a mere 100K kitchen. Anything less than the $478,700 kitchen-themed indoor park would be letting the haters win.

      1. Negropolis

        That sounds awfully Blah Afrikin, to me.

        Honestly, if the Devil played an intstrument…

        I know they say he plays the fiddle, but I'd bet everything I've ever owned that it's actually a vuvuzela.

  20. deanbooth

    A while back Matt Taibbi quoted a Wall Streeter mag about a $300K turntable. Owning this turntable, the article said, was like giving your friends the finger. That's what this kitchen is for. Ugh.

  21. FeloniousMonk

    I think it is a very modest proposal. Do you know how a big an oven you need for the children of professed beggars?

    Also, too: I think I used to play gramophone records on a Tonette.

    1. kittensdontlie

      Not to mention the large amount of gingerbread needed to attract and fatten up the little ones.

  22. fartknocker

    For that amount of money I predict that the state went completely 3rd party for the design and construction. I further will assume that a union job shop will come in, build the most grand ass palace but ensure that every fucking component fails on the 13th month, 1 month after the warranty period. I also expect the toilets to explode, creating a giant sewage spill. Union laborers (I can call myself one of them) can create unique, ironic, code compliant methods delivering 1st order negative Karma to goat fuckers like Scott Walker and his wife. No one will be harmed in the process but the rebuild will cost 3X this project.

  23. Negropolis

    I've said it before, but Tonette is the perfect name for someone who'd choose to be the wife of Scott Walker. And the Albamafication of Wisconsin continues unabated…

    BTW, if Scott Walker ever fails you, Wonkette, Michigan Goveror Dick "Mitt Romney of Michigan" Snyder will soon be sweeping in to fill the douchebag mantle, and as a bonus, his speaking voice is hilarious. To connect it to this story, Dick doesn't live in the Michigan Governor's mansion (the first governor in years to do so) because…it's smaller than his actual home in suburban Ann Arbor, which has a private theater in its basement and a wine cellar.

  24. Vecchiojohn

    $478,00 for a kitchen. Hey, you know what just popped into my head and is totally and completely unrelated? I wonder how much a guillotine costs.

  25. Negropolis

    Any union worker that does the work on the mansion should be beaten to within an inch of his or her life…with votes.

  26. DinDCW4

    Jesus Christ… Our stove only has two working eyes & the broiler option no longer opts. Our faucet has, what can be best described, a gonorrhea-like drip. Yet, we manage to churn out artisanal homemade loaves of bread every fucking day. WTF is that bitch cooking???!

  27. smashedinhat

    To be fair you never know when you'll have to serve up a herd of Bison to unannounced out of towners.

  28. JohnnyBrooklyn

    I'm pretty sure it was Tonette Walker that said "Let them eat cake." A half million dollar kitchen would seem to be the appropriate location for baking them.

  29. neiltheblaze

    From the size of that renovation budget, it sounds like they've been talking to Megan McArdle about appliances.

  30. ttommyunger

    So, I'm checking into the thread late because, life; and I've got to start my Sunday with this little wall-eyed rodent and his cunt-wife. Thanks a lot Wonkette!

  31. karen503

    Tonette Walker was only taking lessons from that Grifteresse Supreme, Sarah Palin, who the minute she moved into the Alaska Governor's Mansion (in which she lived in for less than 6 months before moving back to Wasilla at taxpayer expense) demanded taxpayers pay to rewire the ENTIRE Mansion to accommodate her $35,000 electricity-gobbling commercial grade tanning bed.

    Yes, a TANNING BED. Not something as useful to future gubernatorial First Families as a refurbished kitchen. And when Palin moved out of the Mansion, she took the tanning bed with her.

    At least she left the wiring…

  32. JustPixelz

    "…restore the Residence to its intended historic charm, beauty, and value."

    One of my pet peeves is home remodels where owners want to restore their older house to its authentic original appearance. Except the kitchen and bathroom. For those they want the latest commercial grade appliances and granite countertops and halogen task lighting. And knock out a few walls to make it bigger in the process. Authenticity.

    1. Negropolis

      Well, the rooms you actually want to use you want to use in the 21st century. And, well, the rooms you want to look good for no one to sit and socialize in you want looking original.

      You try preparing food in a kitchen with a wod stove, icebox and butter churn. lol

  33. Slim_Pickins

    I played a Tonette in third grade. It was a sort of kazoo. Don't think it was her though, because she probably wasn't around in 1955. Perhaps her mom also played the Tonette in 3rd grade and found it such an enjoyable experience she named her daughter after it.

  34. TribecaMike

    The guy who made a successful career out of beating up Whitney Houston and getting her hooked on crack has a perfume?

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