Scott Walker’s Wife Makes Strong Bid to be Grifter-in-Chief

by snipy

we had to use this because we already used gatsby this weekOh good lord it is impossible to go back and see how many times we’ve had to write about horrible semi-human Scott Walker and money. We have approximately eleventy-gillion tabs open right now looking at past Wonkette missives about just how Walker’s entire political career is built on dicking over the poors while lining his own pockets. Remember Walker cockblocking Milwaukee from requiring employers to have sick days? How about being a whiny little twerp about only making $144K a year? And let’s not forget that golden oldie: buying iPads for state workers as long as they work in the agency you created.  Basically, Scott Walker is an untrammeled dick. However, for really unvarnished awfulness, you really need to look at Walker’s wife, the improbably named Tonette Walker.

Believe it or not, yr Wonkette has had to write about the female half of this unholy union last year when she begged rich ladies to give her money so that the mansion she and Scotty live in for free could be even nicer. Take it away, younger, hotter Wonkette of last year  blockquoting the ever-living shit out of the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel:

The first lady said in her email accompanying the invitation that she hopes the event generates enough “resources to help us restore the Residence to its intended historic charm, beauty, and value.”

“I am inviting fellow leading ladies like yourself to please join me in donating a purse filled with some of your favorite things. The purses will then be raffled off at the event,” Tonette Walker added. “For example, I’ll be donating a Tignanello bag filled with some of my can’t-live-without items like my favorite shade of Bobbi Brown lipstick and an Aveda hand cream that I can’t get enough of.” [...]

Annie Nolan, assistant to the first lady, offered a different take on the event.

The Walkers are upgrading the mansion, Nolan emphasized, without dipping into state coffers.

Yes, back in the hazy yesteryear of 2011, First Lady Walkerette had her spokescreature self-righteously explain that no how, no way were they going to need state money to fix up their free mansion. You, dear readers, will be unsurprised to learn that this commitment to fiscal responsibility did not last long at all:

The Wisconsin Department of Administration is asking the State Building Commission to approve $478,700 in general fund supported borrowing for kitchen renovations at the Governor’s mansion.

The request for the revamp of both the first floor kitchen and the second floor private quarters kitchenette originally came from First Lady Tonette Walker.[...]

[I]n the DOA’s request to the State Building Commission, the project description includes several changes to the kitchen with the installation of new equipment, such as commercial grade storage cabinets, shelving, disposal, dishwasher, oven, stove, refrigerators and freezers.

It also calls for the installation of new cabinetry and updates to existing ceiling and lighting features.

Later in the article there’s some arglebargle about how there will be some fundraising so it is unclear just how much of the cost of this Cadillac, nay, this stretch Hummer of a kitchen will be covered by donations and what will be suctioned up from taxpayers. Why kid yourself, Wisconsin Wonketters? You will pay for all of this!

As your Editrix thoughtfully noted, $478K worth of kitchen is a FUCKLOAD of kitchen. You probably wish you had a free mansion that someone else would pay to make nicer, don’t you? Too bad. You likely hate the poors and the unions too little to get all these things. Go rock your integrity to sleep while you eat thin gruel and heat your house with the oven, slacker.

[WKOW-TV]

 
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{ 176 comments }

ManchuCandidate December 8, 2012 at 7:36 pm

Behind every successful Koch Blocker male is woman who wants to be queen.

fuflans December 8, 2012 at 11:30 pm

queen of versailles.

Barbara_ December 8, 2012 at 7:38 pm

I'll chip in to have the two huge rats removed from the mansion.

Negropolis December 9, 2012 at 12:50 am

The damn things are so hard to get rid of. I mean, we tried to get rid of them (with votes), twice, now…

kittensdontlie December 9, 2012 at 9:54 am

How did that happen when Obama won the state by 7%. I am flashingback to when Shrub got elected twice.

malsperanza December 9, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Well, once…

WI is almost as schizo as MN.

Negropolis December 9, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Gubernatorial elections are on off years plays a big part of it. I mean, a Republican won Michigan that year by 20 points after the Socialist-Muslin persident having won in 2008 by nearly 17 points.

JustPixelz December 9, 2012 at 8:47 am

Rat libel!!1!

Monsieur_Grumpe December 8, 2012 at 7:38 pm

Fiscal responsibility is really expensive. How many Hot-Pockets do they need to cook at the same time anyway?

NellCote71 December 8, 2012 at 7:38 pm

You can heat the house with your oven. Who knew? Thanks, Life Hacker.

And, no biggie, but I am a Baby Boomer, not a Slacker.

salt_bagel December 8, 2012 at 7:49 pm

Life Hack #492: If'n yer pants fall down, you can hold them up with a spare bit o' twine!

Come here a minute December 8, 2012 at 7:44 pm

Or maybe just turn out the pilot and heat your head in the oven.

Monsieur_Grumpe December 8, 2012 at 7:47 pm

I've been reading the Milwaukee Journal fairly regularly and it seems that a couple of Walker's hired hands have been convicted of felonies (misuse of public funds and stealing veteran's money) and the judge is keeping the investigation open to make sure they catch everyone involved. Let's hope Walker gets caught with his hands in the cookie jar too.

http://www.jsonline.com/news/milwaukee/appeals-co
http://www.jsonline.com/news/milwaukee/plea-deal-

102415 December 9, 2012 at 9:27 pm

They put CN Gov Rowland in actual jail over kitchen cabinets.There has got to be a way to do this in Wisconsin.

memzilla December 8, 2012 at 7:48 pm

… $478K worth of kitchen is a FUCKLOAD of kitchen. …

Look on the bright side: when the revolution comes, after we line Scott and Tonette Walker up against the wall and shoot them — WITH VOTES — we'll be able to cater a hellacious afterparty.

Negropolis December 9, 2012 at 12:55 am

Hell, for $478k renovation, you could actually buy five houses in Metro Detroit at the current median price, and we're not talking little shacks either.

WABishop December 9, 2012 at 11:40 am

Buy them, tear them down, and build a new house just for your kitchen.

unclejeems December 9, 2012 at 1:30 am

Meh, chump change. That $478 K wouldn't pay for even one of Romney's garage elevators.

JustPixelz December 9, 2012 at 8:50 am

"…shoot them — WITH VOTES…"

The NRA will lobby against that. Shooting with bullets is an American tradition protected by the Second Amendment.

Troubledog December 8, 2012 at 8:09 pm

That Tonette Walker girl got a big butt.

Just sayin.

fuflans December 8, 2012 at 11:32 pm

WI baby. WI.

smokefilledroommate December 8, 2012 at 11:42 pm

It's why she's so kitchen-focused.

SpiderCrab December 9, 2012 at 9:55 am

But it could be a lot bigger if she had a decent, modern kitchen to maintain it.

Doktor Zoom December 8, 2012 at 8:11 pm

Do not be afraid of Lobo. He is gentle as kitchen.

Misty Malarky December 9, 2012 at 9:03 am

I will show the world that I can be its master! I will perfect my own race of people. A race of atomic supermen which will conquer the world! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

kittensdontlie December 9, 2012 at 10:31 am

If only this Walker story had as happy of an ending.

Misty Malarky December 9, 2012 at 10:58 am

He tampered in God's domain.

starfanglednut December 8, 2012 at 8:11 pm

Ladies and gentlemen, Marie Antonette Walker.

PubOption December 8, 2012 at 8:43 pm

That kitchen should be able to turn out a lot of cakes.

Negropolis December 9, 2012 at 12:56 am

This is Wisconsin and she's a Baptist, so her name would be spelled Marie-Ann Tonette Walker.

HogeyeGrex December 9, 2012 at 4:33 am

But they just call her Maryanne.

SayItWithWookies December 8, 2012 at 8:12 pm

Hey, every governor's mansion needs work every now and then, so that's not a big deal — but I looked up Tonette Walker, and boy, what a piece of work — she supports this faith-based women's addiction treatment center — and by faith-based, they mean some totally ineffective scam that gets goverment money to preach:

The nonprofit's image took a hit in 2001 when John Castellani, the Teen Challenge executive director, went before a congressional hearing and testified that Teen Challenge hires only Christians and that program participants often convert to evangelical Christianity. He added some Jewish clients become "completed Jews," meaning they convert to Christianity.

And the bit following the above section establishes that their success statistics are pretty faith-based too. Scam 'em all and let God sort 'em out, I guess.

Callyson December 8, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Residents of the Robby Dawson Home attend scheduled programs from 6:30 a.m. to 10 p.m., Harper says, with time dedicated for one-on-one or small group sessions to work on Bible studies and Scripture memorization.

Oh, for Christ's sake.

/FFS, also, too

shawnthesheep December 9, 2012 at 3:07 am

As someone who successfully completed a drug rehab at the age of 16, and worked in the field for a few years when I was older, I find this really disgusting. I came up against these faith-based places often. And preaching the gospel was always much more important than the health and well-being of the kids they "treated."

Add DARE and the lovable Nancy Reagan's "Just Say No" program and you have the comprehensive conservative drug treatment model. "Don't suck on that crack pipe, suck on this bible."

editor December 8, 2012 at 8:14 pm

obviously, i am no first lady (not even second or third), but that kitchen? three times the cost of my entire house. and i life in the sf bay area. also, refrigerators and freezers, plural? damn, ms. tonette, can i come over if i bring a purse with my can't-live-without things (prozac, night train, vaseline) in it for you to auction off?

Butch_Wagstaff December 8, 2012 at 8:29 pm

We live in the Museum District here in Richmond where the houses can run anywhere from quarter of a million to 1 point something million if they are on Monument. And the cost of this kitchen that Evita Walker wants is twice the amount that our house is worth. I know it's a governor's mansion but Jesus Flying Saucer Christ!

gullywompr December 8, 2012 at 8:42 pm

Butch, do me a solid – where's the good coffee shops down there? My son goes to VCU, and whenever I drive him there, I always need a cuppa to get me back on the road. I tried Lamplighter Roasting Co, which was really pretty danged good, but I'm always searching for the holy grail.

SayItWithWookies December 8, 2012 at 10:44 pm

You could try Captain Buzzee's in Church Hill (27th and E. Broad) which is the best place I've heard about, but that's a ways away from VCU. Closer by there's Crossroads on Brunswick north of Cary Street which is pretty good and has lots of homemade pastries, so that's probably a better bet.

gullywompr December 8, 2012 at 11:20 pm

I know Church Hill. I attended the wedding of a good friend at St. John's Church, (and unfortunately just last year went back there for her funeral, poor girl). I've also seen that Crossroads place when I was strolling around, I'll give it a try. Thanks buddy.

Butch_Wagstaff December 9, 2012 at 5:28 pm

I don't know how much I can help you in that department since I havn't been in a coffee shop in years. But I did find this list of shops (that also have free wifi): http://richmondgoodlife.com/richmond_free_wifi.ht

The only place I've been to on the list is the Black Hand Coffee Co. & I thought they were pretty good–at least at the time. I've heard good things about Ellwood's Coffee.

gullywompr December 9, 2012 at 10:45 pm

Thanks Butch, I think I'll give Ellwood's a try.

beezie687 December 9, 2012 at 1:21 am

This is like the new Kardashian wedding math– My house is worth 6.37 Walker kitchens!

gingerland62 December 9, 2012 at 2:27 pm

I was thinking the same thing about my home in the Bay Area. This is freaking Wisconsin, I wonder what the average home price is there?

NellCote71 December 8, 2012 at 8:20 pm

So, going by the stripper name rule, her dog's name was Tonette and she lived on Walker Street?

docterry6973 December 8, 2012 at 8:20 pm

Does the 478K include a nice set of Nancy Reagan china?

Doktor Zoom December 8, 2012 at 8:24 pm

Asked for comment, Mr. Walker said "Something something Michelle Obama vacation something something."

NellCote71 December 8, 2012 at 8:28 pm

Benghaziiii!

not that Dewey December 8, 2012 at 11:56 pm

SOLYNDRA!!1

Negropolis December 9, 2012 at 1:31 am

Asked for comment, Mrs. Walker said: "Let them eat bundt cake!" **harumph**

Maman December 8, 2012 at 8:25 pm

Holy shite peeps. I have a grandiose kitch in my house because we are old, fat and like to cook and it didn't cost an 1/8th of that total

glasspusher December 8, 2012 at 8:59 pm

Good looks don't last. Cooking lasts.

fuflans December 8, 2012 at 11:39 pm

maman is NOT fat. not ever.

also you in IL. WI is for fat people.

Jukesgrrl December 8, 2012 at 11:47 pm

It's the cheese?

bobbert December 9, 2012 at 12:17 am

Hey!

Negropolis December 9, 2012 at 1:32 am

Hell, Vandalia/Effingham/(fill in the downstate blank) might as well be in Kentucky, let me tell you.

4TheTurnstiles December 8, 2012 at 8:26 pm

Assholes.

Lot_49 December 8, 2012 at 8:42 pm

Okay, take a deep breath, the governor's mansion is used for entertaining, perhaps large groups. You need a commercial kitchen, and everything has to meet rigorous restaurant fire and safety codes, lots of tile, stainless, etc. Two or three walk-in reefers and freezers aren't unimaginable. Just the fire-suppressing fume hood over a stove can cost $20K. You don't want those bratwursts on the grill to catch fire on the grill, either. Nearly half a mill is not necessarily outrageous. For all we know they might have used union contractors too.

But Scott Walker is still a jerk.

BerkeleyBear December 8, 2012 at 9:22 pm

If you were opening a restaurant, half a mill might make sense to put in the kitchen. If it was an effort to make the whole building usable and ADA compliant (like Indiana did a while back) again, it makes sense. But this is a lot of money for a kitchen that will not be used very often for commercial grade cooking (and I'm curious how much is for the "kitchenette"). At least in my experience governor's mansions aren't used for large groups all that often – in part because you can't fundraise on the grounds. At least not the kind of events requiring a massive brigade style kitchen, as opposed to receptions with catered food prepped off site.

But that said, every governor seems to have pretensions to grandeur, and a lot of their spouses are idiots who think what Laura Bush and Nancy Reagan did in the White House was awesome.

Lot_49 December 8, 2012 at 9:28 pm

My (modest) experience at cost estimating is with institutional facilities, where, as you say, half a mill is not out of line. I think we need to see the construction documents including as-builts, the fund request and project justification. SHOW US THE CDs, WALKER!

bobbert December 9, 2012 at 12:15 am

Half a mil in WI is the kitchen for a hotel banquet facility. This is the fucking Governor's residence. There are several existing venues in Madison suitable for large dinner events (far larger than the Gov's place could accommodate).

What really makes this shitty is that Walker is ostensibly a Teabagger. Teabaggers should, to be consistent, oppose major expenses for showy entertainment by the Gov. But hey, consistency, hobgoblins, something something wtf?

Negropolis December 9, 2012 at 1:35 am

Half a mil in WI is the kitchen for a hotel banquet facility. This is the fucking Governor's residence. There are several existing venues in Madison suitable for large dinner events (far larger than the Gov's place could accommodate).

THANK YOU.

There is no credible excuse for the expense.

malsperanza December 9, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Fine, $479k for a commercial kitchen, paid for by the Wisconsin taxpayers at a time when their governor is preaching austerity and cuts to services. That's for sure a priority for the state.

So let's add up contractors, workers, and – let's just assume – all the materials and appliances are Made in Wisconsin, right? Right? Folks, take a deep breath: this provides jobs for at least 15 people for a month or so each. Job Creation in action!

As opposed to, say, this ridiculous boondoggle: http://renewenergyblog.wordpress.com/2011/05/06/t… (and http://www.wisconsinfarmreport.com/News-2719-Will

Or this one: http://www.jsonline.com/business/114340244.html

Or this: http://host.madison.com/wsj/news/local/govt-and-p

Lot_49 December 9, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Now that's just depressing.

bikerlaureate December 9, 2012 at 4:05 pm

If you want to grift that much and not deliberately flip the bird to the people you're screwing, you either lie about what that amount of money is for ("foundation maintenance") or you spread the grift over two or three years.

This is stone-cold disregard for the austerity riff, whether or not they expected it to become publicized.

johnnyzhivago December 8, 2012 at 8:43 pm

Scott Walker and the Tonettes – Every Thursday and Saturday at the Holiday Inn Ambassador Lounge in West Green Bay just off Rt 32 (past the Paper Mill and over the RR tracks)

Ladies drink free every Tuesday (bring ID). Truckers welcome.

glasspusher December 8, 2012 at 9:11 pm

ID to prove they're ladies?

johnnyzhivago December 8, 2012 at 10:47 pm

To prove they can drive a commercial vehicle.

johnnyzhivago December 8, 2012 at 10:50 pm

When I was young and naive I used to think it was discrimination to give ladies free drinks on certain nights. That was until I met ladies who had been taking advantage of the free drinks.

Jukesgrrl December 8, 2012 at 11:50 pm

Next tour date: the 73rd Annual Sturgis Motorcycle Rally. Republicans like to show off their wives there.

FeloniousMonk December 9, 2012 at 12:54 am

Y'know, I can't find any videos of the Sturgis "novel uses for a vegetable" show. Did they tone down their act before the internet came along?

editor December 9, 2012 at 8:06 pm

not sure if anyone knew, but there actually have been several musical ensembles by that name. a 1940s all-girl jazz combo, a 1950s all-girl white doowop group, a 1960s all-girl african-american vocal group (i think they were made up out of raelettes survivors) … maybe more, who knows.

http://www.last.fm/music/The Tonettes
http://www.thetonettes.com/
http://www.soulfulkindamusic.net/tonettes.htm

hope these work.

(either way, all of them are cooler than missy walker.)

d'you think her parents named her after any of these?

NYNYNYjr December 8, 2012 at 8:43 pm

I don't even live in WIsconsin, but it feels like he's been governor for 10 years… when is this over?

Butch_Wagstaff December 8, 2012 at 8:50 pm

So "completed Jews" are really Christians? Is it something like the Messianic Jews? Or do these "completed Jews" drop all the Jewish stuff? In which case they couldn't really be Jews? Also, what's an "uncompleted Jew"? A Southern Baptist who's not circumcised?
I'm confused.

SayItWithWookies December 8, 2012 at 10:39 pm

Well everyone knows that since Jesus came after the rest of the Jewish prophets, that he was the culmination of Judaic belief, so any Jews who cling to the Old Testament covenants are just hanging on to an outdated agreement with The LORD. For some reason this doesn't apply to Muhammad, who came along later. Or to Jim Jones, Joseph Smith, David Koresh or any of the others for that matter.

finallyhappy December 9, 2012 at 11:51 am

I feel like a completed Jew on weekends when I go to services more than once-maybe exhausted Jew is more on target.. Next weekend, I might be at services Friday morning, Sat morning and Sunday morning(and I am a real Jew – not messianic, "completed" or any other bs thing)

FlownOver December 8, 2012 at 8:55 pm

How much does the rat dick fryer cost?

not that Dewey December 8, 2012 at 8:57 pm

$478k! You know how many Niemann Marcus chicken houses that could pay for!?!?

glasspusher December 8, 2012 at 9:05 pm

4.78? Shipping not included.

glasspusher December 8, 2012 at 8:58 pm

Thanks for this latest installment of: "Money can't buy you class".

not that Dewey December 8, 2012 at 8:58 pm

Oh, and Happy Hanukkah, everybody! (except you, Tonette)

glasspusher December 8, 2012 at 9:01 pm

Let's light this candle?

finallyhappy December 9, 2012 at 11:52 am

My family got new battery toothbrushes- we know how to gift big time here

glasspusher December 9, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Funny you should mention that. Between my son's braces and his lack of oral hygiene motivation lies a whole lot of plaque. I'm going to get him a water pik this week!Yeah, we party all night, too.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr December 8, 2012 at 9:00 pm

Questions: Will the kitchens be built using union labor? No, of course not.

Will the new kitchens have palm trees? When I am hired as a non-labor worker, hell yes.

Yes, Tonette, there really are palm trees in Wisconsin. Instead of granite counter tops: palm trees. Instead of stainless steel appliances: palm trees. The walls will be papered with protest signs and every screen in the residence will show protesters chanting "Whose house? Our house!" and actually they won't be screens but actual people, like me, outside your front door screaming as loudly as we can in a peaceful, non-violent manner.

I'd say "with votes" but the voting thing didn't work the last time. Instead, we'll just peacefully keep our eyes on them. And be as irritating as possible. Peacefully.

glasspusher December 8, 2012 at 9:02 pm

I like kitchen porn as much as the next guy, but that price is a bit too steep.

RadioBitchFace December 9, 2012 at 1:26 am

I said "MILF" not "WERF!"

glasspusher December 9, 2012 at 1:55 am

I'm struggling with that second acronym…

cousinitt December 8, 2012 at 9:07 pm

To be fair to the Walkers, the original news story failed to note that the seemingly extravagant cost included an abattoir for the preparation of human souls. Hella expensive.

Hope that helps.

Pat_Pending December 8, 2012 at 9:07 pm

I wonder how much she will attempt to haul out when that sniveling asswipe leaves office. Prolly all the appliances, the table and chairs, the dishes and cutlery, and any cabinets she can pry off the walls. Cunt.

oenspiek December 8, 2012 at 9:13 pm

SCROOGE MCDUCK LIBEL!1 (one)!

Come here a minute December 8, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Eat the freeloading rich….mmm mmm, tastes like kitchen.

Ground Zero Mostel December 8, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Scott Walker, Rick Scott, Scott Brown. I'm sorry, I can't keep my asshats straight.

glamourdammerung December 8, 2012 at 10:01 pm

Scott Brown is on his way out of office. Though at least one of the others is probably on their way out as well, but it is going to involve conviction(s).

fartknocker December 8, 2012 at 11:08 pm

I hate to add to your confusion but please add Rick Perry.

Negropolis December 9, 2012 at 1:36 am

"Rick" seems to be another dick name. Rick Perry, Rick Scott, Rick Snyder…

Geminisunmars December 9, 2012 at 1:47 pm

You forgot the dickiest Rick of them all. You know, the one Dan Savage likes so much.

Negropolis December 9, 2012 at 9:23 pm

How could I forget Santorum? It's Santorum, right, 'cause I don't listen to that guy's show at all.

Geminisunmars December 9, 2012 at 9:35 pm

I knew a little nudge would help you recall. I don't listen to Dan Savage either, I only know of him from Bill Maher's show, and of course the Wonkerettitude.

WABishop December 9, 2012 at 11:50 am

Dr. Scott!

BarackMyWorld December 8, 2012 at 9:15 pm

WTF are sick days?

gullywompr December 8, 2012 at 9:58 pm

You're a 1099?

iburl December 8, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Days that you have to think about Scott Walker's smug-ass face.

Designer_Rants December 8, 2012 at 10:36 pm

Those are days that, instead of some mobbed up sociopath holding onto the lever that makes the assembly line go so fast that people hurt themselves in haste, you get a New Kid who doesn't understand that he's supposed to be sadistic. It's easier, but if you have to piss, you still might as well just hope your bladder doesn't rupture.

mosjef December 8, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Will the new garbage disposal be large enough to handle Scott and Tonette?

natl_[redacted]_cmdr December 8, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Basically, Scott Walker is an untrammeled dick.

We trammeled. Oh, how we trammeled. We just couldn't find it.

serjjj December 8, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Does Bobbi Brown lipstick have crack cocaine in it?

Jennyjen798 December 8, 2012 at 10:17 pm

LOL!

Seriously though, for $24.00 a tube; it ought to have a little something something!

kittensdontlie December 9, 2012 at 10:22 am

It plumps up your lips just like you have been smacked in the mouth by an R&B singer.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr December 8, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Tonette Walker: Welfare Queen.

iburl December 8, 2012 at 9:58 pm

Strange that the name Tonette Walker is an anagram for Wonkette Alert.

Designer_Rants December 8, 2012 at 10:31 pm

And "Drudge Sirens!" is an anagram for "These scumbags should rot in a shanty – with votes!"

FeloniousMonk December 8, 2012 at 11:15 pm

Do you time your eggs by doing the Times crossword? And are they underdone?

gullywompr December 8, 2012 at 11:40 pm

iburl 2016!

Jukesgrrl December 8, 2012 at 11:55 pm

Holy shit, you're serious.

ProgressiveInga December 9, 2012 at 12:15 am

The wormhole has been breached.

HogeyeGrex December 9, 2012 at 4:51 am

Oh Noez!!! Somebody divided by zero!!!

glamourdammerung December 8, 2012 at 9:59 pm

The teatards apparently already got their talking point to whine about the number of trees in the public tour areas of the White House and President Obama having vacations.

Personal responsibility!

TribecaMike December 8, 2012 at 10:04 pm

Excuse me, Mrs. Walker, but there are some children here who'd like to speak to you… http://img.wonkette.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/1

not that Dewey December 9, 2012 at 12:10 am

Oh, I thought you meant these children.

Jennyjen798 December 8, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Pfft! Who does this bitch think she is? Rick Perry?

iburl December 8, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Why should she suffer the indignities of having her servants labor in a mere 100K kitchen. Anything less than the $478,700 kitchen-themed indoor park would be letting the haters win.

littlebigdaddy December 8, 2012 at 10:20 pm

She is named after a crappy plastic wind instrument?

Jukesgrrl December 9, 2012 at 12:01 am

Also, the children's version of the Toni Home Permanent that curled the hair of ladiez in the 1950s. The Tonette was all the proof a girl-child needed that her mother didn't think she came out right. http://vintage-ads.livejournal.com/1959086.html

not that Dewey December 9, 2012 at 12:03 am

I misread her name as "Toenail"

SayItWithWookies December 9, 2012 at 2:44 am

That's her sister, Vuvuzela.

Negropolis December 9, 2012 at 4:28 am

That sounds awfully Blah Afrikin, to me.

Honestly, if the Devil played an intstrument…

I know they say he plays the fiddle, but I'd bet everything I've ever owned that it's actually a vuvuzela.

Designer_Rants December 8, 2012 at 10:29 pm

Tonette deaf.

Texan_Bulldog December 8, 2012 at 10:30 pm

Damn, Tonette. There are only so many things you can cook with cheese.

shelwood46 December 10, 2012 at 1:14 pm

As someone born and raised in Wisconsin, that is simply not true.

dadanarchistmk2 December 8, 2012 at 10:33 pm

$478K worth of kitchen is a FUCKLOAD of kitchen.

Megan "McArglebargle" Mcardle begs to differ.

deanbooth December 8, 2012 at 10:35 pm

A while back Matt Taibbi quoted a Wall Streeter mag about a $300K turntable. Owning this turntable, the article said, was like giving your friends the finger. That's what this kitchen is for. Ugh.

HogeyeGrex December 9, 2012 at 5:26 am

Tonette's Syndrome – The uncontrollable behavior of giving everyone the finger all the time.

FeloniousMonk December 8, 2012 at 10:52 pm

I think it is a very modest proposal. Do you know how a big an oven you need for the children of professed beggars?

Also, too: I think I used to play gramophone records on a Tonette.

kittensdontlie December 9, 2012 at 10:46 am

Not to mention the large amount of gingerbread needed to attract and fatten up the little ones.

BarackMyWorld December 8, 2012 at 10:52 pm

BTW…new mobile site for this place? Awesome~!

christianmuslin December 8, 2012 at 10:57 pm

That's a hell of a lot of kitchen for fondue!

Boojum December 8, 2012 at 11:02 pm

We missed you. Love your new incarnation.

LibrarianX December 8, 2012 at 11:08 pm

Fumigate those assholes.

Wadisay December 8, 2012 at 11:11 pm

C'mon GOP ladies, those lawn jockeys aren't gonna buy themselves.

fartknocker December 8, 2012 at 11:16 pm

For that amount of money I predict that the state went completely 3rd party for the design and construction. I further will assume that a union job shop will come in, build the most grand ass palace but ensure that every fucking component fails on the 13th month, 1 month after the warranty period. I also expect the toilets to explode, creating a giant sewage spill. Union laborers (I can call myself one of them) can create unique, ironic, code compliant methods delivering 1st order negative Karma to goat fuckers like Scott Walker and his wife. No one will be harmed in the process but the rebuild will cost 3X this project.

unclejeems December 9, 2012 at 1:39 am

Right on, right on. Just look for the union label.

billy_reuben December 8, 2012 at 11:34 pm

Scott Walker is married to Tonetta?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mO_u-EkJZ8E

Okay, I can see that.

smokefilledroommate December 8, 2012 at 11:41 pm

As long as it's "The People's House", can I just walk into "The People's Kitchen" and get myself some caviar outta one of the twelve "People's Fridges"?

not that Dewey December 8, 2012 at 11:43 pm

Grab a couple bottles of the People's Scotch while you're at it.

smokefilledroommate December 9, 2012 at 12:07 am

AbsoLOOTly.

kittensdontlie December 9, 2012 at 10:50 am

Take care lest you land in "The People's Court".

Joshua Norton December 8, 2012 at 11:50 pm

Why kid yourself, Wisconsin Wonketters? You will pay for all of this!

Which should be glaringly obvious to anyone who uses the interntet, watches TV, is alive.

fuflans December 9, 2012 at 12:14 am

yawn. needs more judd nelson.

Negropolis December 9, 2012 at 12:20 am

I've said it before, but Tonette is the perfect name for someone who'd choose to be the wife of Scott Walker. And the Albamafication of Wisconsin continues unabated…

BTW, if Scott Walker ever fails you, Wonkette, Michigan Goveror Dick "Mitt Romney of Michigan" Snyder will soon be sweeping in to fill the douchebag mantle, and as a bonus, his speaking voice is hilarious. To connect it to this story, Dick doesn't live in the Michigan Governor's mansion (the first governor in years to do so) because…it's smaller than his actual home in suburban Ann Arbor, which has a private theater in its basement and a wine cellar.

RadioBitchFace December 9, 2012 at 1:28 am

And a really nice kitchen!

Vecchiojohn December 9, 2012 at 12:34 am

$478,00 for a kitchen. Hey, you know what just popped into my head and is totally and completely unrelated? I wonder how much a guillotine costs.

Negropolis December 9, 2012 at 12:44 am

OT: SNL just did the funniest sketch I've seen in years: "Maine Justice."

Negropolis December 9, 2012 at 12:49 am

Any union worker that does the work on the mansion should be beaten to within an inch of his or her life…with votes.

FeloniousMonk December 9, 2012 at 1:24 am

Hurl them down the pit of hell. Pursuant to a ballot of the duly constituted membership.

Rufus T. Firefly December 9, 2012 at 1:01 am

Jesus Christ. Who the fuck needs a $500K kitchen?

Especially in Wisconsin. All they eat is beer boiled brats and cheese curds.

bobbert December 9, 2012 at 2:08 am

Properly grilled (with beer) brat LIBEL!! Also, sauerbraten and pork shank. And steak.

shelwood46 December 10, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Ahem: fish on Fridays.

Rufus T. Firefly December 9, 2012 at 1:06 am

Am I the only one who's weirded out by the heart attack ad sidebar? $500K kitchens, brats, and cheese are likely drivers after all…

DinDCW4 December 9, 2012 at 6:44 am

Jesus Christ… Our stove only has two working eyes & the broiler option no longer opts. Our faucet has, what can be best described, a gonorrhea-like drip. Yet, we manage to churn out artisanal homemade loaves of bread every fucking day. WTF is that bitch cooking???!

Dashboard Buddha December 9, 2012 at 8:55 am

WTF is that bitch her staff cooking???!

Fixed

dennis1943 December 9, 2012 at 7:25 am

Settle down………a woman has NEEDS………think sublimate……..

smashedinhat December 9, 2012 at 7:59 am

To be fair you never know when you'll have to serve up a herd of Bison to unannounced out of towners.

GeneralLerong December 9, 2012 at 12:18 pm

This is a home where the buffalo roam?

JohnnyBrooklyn December 9, 2012 at 8:47 am

I'm pretty sure it was Tonette Walker that said "Let them eat cake." A half million dollar kitchen would seem to be the appropriate location for baking them.

Dashboard Buddha December 9, 2012 at 8:56 am

It appears that Tone-tte has a tin ear.

neiltheblaze December 9, 2012 at 10:18 am

From the size of that renovation budget, it sounds like they've been talking to Megan McArdle about appliances.

BaldarTFlagass December 9, 2012 at 10:25 am

"Let them bake cake."

ttommyunger December 9, 2012 at 11:13 am

So, I'm checking into the thread late because, life; and I've got to start my Sunday with this little wall-eyed rodent and his cunt-wife. Thanks a lot Wonkette!

drbill0620 December 9, 2012 at 11:44 am

Her name is really Tonette? I though that was a home permanent from back in the day…
http://vintage-ads.livejournal.com/1959086.html

WABishop December 9, 2012 at 11:56 am

What about the money raised from the purse auction? Will it be retained as a finder's fee?

karen503 December 9, 2012 at 12:29 pm

Tonette Walker was only taking lessons from that Grifteresse Supreme, Sarah Palin, who the minute she moved into the Alaska Governor's Mansion (in which she lived in for less than 6 months before moving back to Wasilla at taxpayer expense) demanded taxpayers pay to rewire the ENTIRE Mansion to accommodate her $35,000 electricity-gobbling commercial grade tanning bed.

Yes, a TANNING BED. Not something as useful to future gubernatorial First Families as a refurbished kitchen. And when Palin moved out of the Mansion, she took the tanning bed with her.

At least she left the wiring…

JustPixelz December 9, 2012 at 5:33 pm

"…restore the Residence to its intended historic charm, beauty, and value."

One of my pet peeves is home remodels where owners want to restore their older house to its authentic original appearance. Except the kitchen and bathroom. For those they want the latest commercial grade appliances and granite countertops and halogen task lighting. And knock out a few walls to make it bigger in the process. Authenticity.

Negropolis December 9, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Well, the rooms you actually want to use you want to use in the 21st century. And, well, the rooms you want to look good for no one to sit and socialize in you want looking original.

You try preparing food in a kitchen with a wod stove, icebox and butter churn. lol

BZ1 December 9, 2012 at 5:50 pm

Not that Bobbi Brown??

Slim_Pickins December 9, 2012 at 10:29 pm

I played a Tonette in third grade. It was a sort of kazoo. Don't think it was her though, because she probably wasn't around in 1955. Perhaps her mom also played the Tonette in 3rd grade and found it such an enjoyable experience she named her daughter after it.

TribecaMike December 10, 2012 at 5:43 pm

The guy who made a successful career out of beating up Whitney Houston and getting her hooked on crack has a perfume?

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