nobody does it better makes me feel sad for the rest

Camille Paglia: Ladies Having Sex Sucked Out Of Them By Sexy Pop Music

goddammit we said gambol, not gambleLet’s be honest, women. You have a TON of choices, a veritable smorgasbord, of women writers who will make you feel bad about who you are. Whether it is  Suzanne Venker concern trolling the ladies and telling them that if they just weren’t so angry all the time, the mens would marry them or K-Lo sucking all the joy out of sex because she’s not going to suck anything else, there is a veritable empire of ways other ladies can tell you what to do. Those ladies are great at what they do, don’t get us wrong, but no one – NO ONE – bashes the wimmenz more creatively than the O.G. culture scold Camille Paglia. The convoluted sentences! The out-of-nowhere references to, say, Catullus! You know what? It is better if we just show you. Take it away Camille:

Beyond that, [Taylor] Swift has a monotonous vocal style, pitched in a characterless keening soprano and tarted up with snarky spin that is evidently taken for hip by vast multitudes of impressionable young women worldwide. Her themes are mainly complaints about boyfriends, faceless louts who blur in her mind as well as ours. Swift’s meandering, snippy songs make 16-year-old Lesley Gore’s 1963 hit “It’s My Party (And I’ll Cry if I Want to)” seem like a towering masterpiece of social commentary, psychological drama and shapely concision.

Although now 28, Katy Perry is still stuck in wide-eyed teen-queen mode. Especially after the train wreck of her brief marriage to epicene roué Russell Brand, her dazzling smiles are starting to look as artificial as those of the aging, hard-bitten Joan Crawford. Perry’s prolific hit songs, saturating mainstream radio, hammer and yammer mercilessly. She’s like a manic cyborg cheerleader, obliviously whooping it up while her team gets pounded into the mud.

That. Is. Magnificent. She slams Taylor Swift and all her fans for basically, being teenagers and liking songs that teenagers like. HOW DARE THEY? Also awesome: comparing Taylor Swift to Lesley Gore, because that is just the kind of hip, up-to-the-minute reference we’ve come to expect from Camille. Her ire about Katy Perry, though, takes things to a whole ‘nother level. We have no idea what an epicene roue is, but we think it is bad! We do understand that comparing a 28-year-old to Joan Crawford is not very nice, though. Also, too, “manic cyborg cheerleader” is the name of our new electronica band.

Seriously we have no idea why this woman hates Katy Perry so much. Yr Wonkette is not overly fond of Ms. Perry, but good lord we do not think she is responsible for the decline of sexytime in western civilization:

Katy Perry’s schizophrenia — good-girl mask over trash and flash — is a symptom of what has gone wrong.

As a glance at any suburban high school prom these days will show, there has been a vast increase in sexually revealing, super-adult clothing among middle-class girls. Yet most seem curiously unaware of the erotic charge of their racy regalia, which has become as standard issue as army fatigues. Sex is already routine in a hooking-up culture.

Let yr Wonkette be the first to say “huh?!” So, Katy Perry makes the teen girls dress with the sluttiness, or the teen girls choose it on their own? But no matter what they are not sexy because they look sexy but don’t know it? We don’t know either, but “racy regalia” is now the name of the yacht we will someday buy when we are rich.

Even when Camille Paglia likes someone, it is really, really, really DEEPLY weird. She seems to like Rihanna, maybe!

The stylish Rihanna’s enigmatic dominatrix pose has thrown some critics off. Anyone who follows tabloids like the Daily Mail online, however, has vicariously enjoyed Rihanna’s indolent vacations, where she lustily imbibes, gambols in the waves and lolls with friends of all available genders. She is the pleasure principle incarnate.

Yr Wonkette is a frequent follower of tabloids, and does indeed vicariously enjoy watching people gambol! Also, “enigmatic dominatrix” is the name of our new…nevermind, too easy.

[Hollywood Reporter]

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  • frostbitefalls

    Is this the Camille Paglia who so transgressively loved the Rolling Stones twenty years after they came on the scene?

    • gingerland62

      ..and Madonna was the modern feminist icon in the 80's. She is an idiot.

  • thatsitfortheother1

    I bitch. Therefore I am.

    • mormos

      if i was being a bitch it was only because i was acting like a bitch.

  • Serolf_Divad

    Epicene roué: (n.) an improvised tart made by joining a pair of double-stuffed Oreos together with a teaspoon-sized dab of peanut-butter (In some countries it is also known as a chocolate Paglia).

    • eggsacklywright

      And if that doesn't amuse your bouche…

      • Serolf_Divad

        Why'd you have to go make it about sex? "Bouche" is a sex thing, right?

        • eggsacklywright

          Food, sex…I get them confused sometimes.

        • Vecchiojohn

          Yeah, I think it's French slang for a girl's you know what.

        • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

          Yes. Remember that song, "Pouche, Pouche, In The Bouche"?

          • tessiee

            And the followup, "pouche, pouche, in the touche"?

          • Come here a minute

            You know I want to get down.

          • bikerlaureate

            Three in the pouche…

    • tessiee

      Whatever else you do, do NOT look up "chocolate Paglia" in the Urban Dictionary.
      $: – O

      • Come here a minute

        :-b

  • http://twitter.com/bookofruthless boobookitteh

    Camille Paglia basically writes the exact same thing every decade filling in the blanks with random female top 40 performers. It's tiresome. Come up with some new material, Camille! We are tired of "Teens and sexuality and pop stars, amirite?"

    • Serolf_Divad

      Camille Paglia is basically the Chipmonks of pop-cultural criticism. You'll turn on the TV one day and the little rodents will be on there doing one of those 45 speed renditions of that song your pre-teen daughter keeps playing in her room ("Gangnam Style" or "Call me Maybe") and you're like: wait.. these guys are still around!?

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        I love the ChipMonks! Every cartoon, a sexy scamp of a girl chipmunk tries to get them to break their vows of silence and celibacy with her crazy teen pop hijinx!

        • http://twitter.com/bookofruthless boobookitteh

          Make this happen, Hollywood.

    • squirrel_time

      Camille is still pissed off Madonna won't screw her.

    • Spider-Jerk

      Give her enough time and it'll be all about how anyone who doesn't think bingo night and pudding are THE BEST is the downfall of civilization.

      – Oh yes, and the lawn. Stay off it!

  • HarryButtle

    Nothing says "good role model" like a codependent who tweets naked pics of herself every other day and can't quit the boyfriend who beats her. That's who I want my daughter to emulate.

    • CthuNHu

      Red state electorate libel!

    • Low_Budget_Dave

      Isn't Camille the one who wrote "Sexual Personae", a book of random comments the ties everything in society to sex in whatever way is most likely to troll the reader?__Because if so, I pretty much stopped reading everything she wrote more than 20 years ago.__Wonkette has been trolled.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    This is to female olds as "Get OFF MY LAWN" is to male olds.

  • memzilla

    How big is Camille Paglia's lawn, that she want all these kids off of?

    • Swampgas_Man

      She hasn't waxed since '84.

  • memzilla

    Thank you, Camille Paglia, for reminding me that criticizing teh youngsters' music is the surest way to be considered old and out of touch.

    • LibertyLover

      OK… This is really a no win situation for us olds. See, if we like the music that our kids are listening to( being olds and still liking the Rock and the Roll), then it grosses out our kids and forces them to find some kind of caterwauling that we cannot stand.

      Or we do not like the music that our children like and we are then put into a binder full of olds and considered out of date.

      See? No win.

      So I content myself to embarrassing my children by really bad dancing to Hall and Oates, that way, we are both in on the joke.

  • thatsitfortheother1

    I saw a bumper sticker once that said "It's Not Too Loud. You're Too Old."

    • Stevola

      "It"s not that I'm old. Your music really does suck."

  • Troubledog

    I want to do Lolling with Friends.

    • Doktor Zoom

      Just make sure you stop when the airplane reaches the gate, or you'll be in big trouble, Mr. Baldwin.

      • Troubledog

        I AM SICK AND TIRED OF YOU MAKING A FOOL OF ME ABOUT THIS PHONE THING. I'M LEAVING A VOICEMAIL FOR YOUR DAUGHTER RIGHT NOW

    • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      I thought you could only lol with cats.

  • YouFail4eva

    And the reason we care about a woman who basically never wanted to leave the 1910s is because?

  • eggsacklywright

    Not a rill big fan of pop tarts, but what's wrong with a little gamboling and lolling? I'm too old for the first, but I do as much lolling as I can.

    • thatsitfortheother1

      LOL

      Like that?

      • eggsacklywright

        That's the spirit.

  • eggsacklywright

    I think roué is French for asshole.

    • not that Dewey

      I thought it was a flavorless paste.

      • eggsacklywright

        Like the saucier said, "Never get out of the fuckin' boat."

        • thatsitfortheother1

          Joseph Conrad libel!

    • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

      Pretty much. The Brits would call him a rake.

  • ThundercatHo

    Hey Camille (dumb twatwaffle)! You know what most people do when they hear music they don't like? They turn it off and listen to something else. Now, call your psychiatrist, get your meds changed, have some nice "me" time with baked goods and stop being such a crank.

    • Vecchiojohn

      Hey, if an important public intellectual like Paglia doesn't point out that insipid pop music is insipid, how will the rest of us know?

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      It seems kind of silly to beat her up over a valid opinion of shitty teen pop when we're actually mad at her about stuff she said about rape in the '90s.

  • Lot_49

    Many epicene roués find this Katy Perry video particularly tenchant:

  • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

    I tend to confuse her with Pia Zadora. Is she the lady who married Prince Charles?

    • Geminisunmars

      No. That Camilleia is sweet and logical and attractive — in comparison.

    • Nostrildamus

      That was Mr. Ed.

  • DocChaos

    Ms. Paglia fails to realize that the reason that "such monumental fortunes could be accumulated by performers whose songs have barely escaped the hackneyed teenybopper genre", is that teenage girls are the only people who actually pay for the music they listen to.

    • tessiee

      A standup comedian whose name escapes me at the moment — but who was a large, not very handsome, middle aged man — had a comment to the effect that, "Britney Spears' fan base has two kinds of people in it: teenage girls, and guys like me".

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      I still buy music, because I am Olde and Principled and empathize with artists.

      • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

        And because they haven't found a way to BitTorrent vinyl.

  • not that Dewey
    • thatsitfortheother1

      Pretty much.

    • eggsacklywright

      "Get off my cloud."

    • YouFail4eva

      Such trenchant commentary

  • GoodDogThor

    So, Camille, about that sandwich yr gonna make me…

  • DCBloom

    It always cracks me up when people start on that "kids nowadays" thing. I'm 50. I remember the 70's. We listened to Black Sabbath, did drugs and wore outrageous clothing. Given a choice, I would much prefer my kids going to a Taylor Swift concert, than the kind of concerts I went to in my teens.

    • gullywompr

      Yep. We are the greatest generation. Nobody rocked it like we did.

      • gullywompr

        And on a few weekends per year – still do.

    • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

      But if you were 16 today, would you be listening to Taylor Swift?

      • eggsacklywright

        I'd prefer Dandy Warhols.

  • Severen13

    Camilia Paglia: "You little whippersnappers, get off my lawn!"

  • Hera Sent Me

    It's Katy Perry's sheer womanliness that makes her sexy. She's feminine, in the best senses of that word. Then she's a modern, autonomous woman. Makes her own choices, is unashamed of her sexuality, of her humanity. She's fun and she's funny. Watching her on talk shows is as entertaining as listening to her music. I don't know from Taylor Smith, but she seems too skinny.

    Camile missed the 1980's, apparently. The first song lauding a woman's ample posterior I recall is Baby Got Back.

    • thatsitfortheother1

      I like the women with a big butt. Uh.. you know, something you can hold onto and hit with a car antenna.

      — Garrett Morris

    • tessiee

      "The first song lauding a woman's ample posterior I recall is Baby Got Back."

      That fuckin' guy's phone is STILL ringing off the hook.

    • GregComlish

      Fat Bottomed Girls preceded Baby Got Back. I'm sure other songs preceded that. Ever since there were guys and asses, there have been guys who love big asses.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        Still the drollest cover of this song:
        http://www.myspace.com/edmundwelles/music/songs/b

        • http://chaosmarxism.blogspot.com doloras

          When they played at Live Earth in 2008, they had, like 19 bass players on stage for this song.

      • faster_kittycat

        Where does Spinal Tap fit in the booty timeline?

        Big bottom, big bottom, talk about mud flaps, my girl's got 'em.

        • tessiee

          "One day, I wondered 'what's that on the back of my leg?', and it was my ass" — Victoria Principal.

      • tessiee

        "I love her each week day, each velvety cheek day"

    • shawnthesheep

      Ahh yes, back when large, dark men rapped about what their anacondas not wanting none. Or as I like to call it, the Golden Age.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      plus, you know, whipped cream shooting out of her boobs.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    I think the funniest part [next to epicene roué] is the header THR put on it.

    The influential female academic, writing for THR, calls out their "insipid, bleached-out personas."

  • not that Dewey

    But what does Phyllis Schlaffley think about Miley Cyrus?

  • gullywompr

    The last paragraph of Camille's article is the most revealing – basically she's pissed that older women don't get the sexytime no mo' ("aging women have become progressively invisible"). She mentions older wimminz that are deserving, and not so vapidly ingenue-y, like Rachael Welch, to which I'd like to mention this.

    • Beowoof

      I still trying to have sexy time with the wife and we are of a mature vintage. You know she seems much less interested than I am.

      • gullywompr

        Maybe some of our more ripened and evolved Wonkette fems will pipe up with the advice. Ladies?

      • eggsacklywright

        As a doktor, I prescribe a couple glasses of wine and some ganja.

    • Geminisunmars

      Clearly this is who S Palin modeled herself on.

      • gullywompr

        Modeled herself on who? Rachael Welch? If so, she fell short.

        • Geminisunmars

          Yes. Very short. But the Bang-bang lyrics, and the hair – just the general look and style reminded me of our Lady of Perpetual Ineptitude.

    • tessiee

      "The last paragraph of Camille's article is the most revealing – basically she's pissed that older women don't get the sexytime no mo'"

      Somebody fix the old skank* up with Richard Cohen:
      http://wonkette.com/490841/richard-cohen-does-not

      *I'm referring to Paglia, of course, not Mrs. Beowoof!

      • shelwood46

        I saw Skyfall this weekend and now Cohen's column is even more awful because the whole damn movie is about how Bond is in no condition physically or mentally to do his spy duties.

  • Lot_49

    OT, but the NY Times, after a brisk tongue-lashing from its own ombudsperson, has finally heard about Bradley Manning. They are careful to describe him in demeaning terms:

    Private Manning, who turns 25 on Dec. 17 and looks much younger, was quietly attentive during Friday’s court session, in a dress uniform, crew-cut blond hair and wire-rimmed glasses. If his face were not already familiar from television news, he might have been mistaken for a first-year law student assisting the defense team. It seemed incongruous that he has essentially acknowledged responsibility for the largest leak of classified material in history….

    But the Gray Lady is merciful and benevolent, even to sinners who humiliate journasaurs by doing their jobs for them.

    After the uproar about his treatment, including public criticism from the State Department’s top spokesman and the United Nations’ top torture expert, military officials moved Private Manning in April 2011 from Quantico to a new prison at Fort Leavenworth, Kan., where he has not faced the same restrictions on clothing, sleeping conditions and conversation with other inmates.

    • Biff

      Jesus, they're all heart!

    • An_Outhouse

      "largest leak of classified material in history"

      I wonder what the metric is – weight? volume? Whoever taught the Siviets how to make an atom bomb rates as my largest leak in history. I bet there were others, like when the Soviets killed a whole bunch of people who spied for us.

      • Lot_49

        Julius and Ethel Rosenberg would sue, but they're dead for some reason or other.

      • gullywompr

        Maybe they came up with it on their own – the Soviets had unique methods of motivating their intelligentsia.

    • Vecchiojohn

      What I can't understand is the uproar about his treatment. All they were doing was torturing him before the trial. What, they should wait? What if he's found not guilty? THEN WHAT?

      • gullywompr

        Your gullywompr did some work in both the Quantico brig and Ft. Leavenworth disciplinary barracks a few decades ago. Not so sure he's better off after the move.

  • neiltheblaze

    Paglia wrote a date-rape piece back in the 90's that was the single most disgusting piece of misogynous drivel I've ever read. Her thesis was basically "Don't wear a mini skirt and go up to a football player's dorm room and be surprised if you're raped."

    Dana Perino feels the same way, I'd guess.

    • Barrelhse

      Which explains why Perino is often seen prowling around jock dorms while wearing a mini-skirt.

  • Baconzgood

    I hate to say this but I agree with her that Taylor Perry suck.

  • Callyson

    Washed up bitter crank says what now?

  • Whollyholeyholy

    Taylor Swift is getting tiresome whining like a 15 year old every time some dude gets sick of her, but the teenager that I was wishes somebody had thought up the idea of never getting back together, like, ever. I hope early exposure to the idea rubs off on my (elementary school aged) daughters.

  • petforest

    Gambol in the waves?

    Yes, and
    "Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
    Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
    All mimsy were the borogoves,
    And the mome raths outgrabe."

    • Come here a minute

      Yes. I am wondering why Ms Paglia did not have Rihanna gyre as well, nor call her as a slithy tove.

      'All genders'? Both usually covers it.

  • Biff

    My Sirius radio just played a Kenny Rogers song, talk about teh powah of suggestion!

    Also, pop music sucks.

    ETA: I just got an email from Katy Perry! WTF is happening here?

  • Barrelhse

    Anyone read that whole thing?

    • tessiee

      No.
      And by no, I mean, not if my eyes were rotting in my skull from disuse.

    • Serolf_Divad

      Correction: did anyone read the whole thing, who didn't immediately run off and post a "We read the lastest Camille Paglia so you don't have to" entry in their blog?

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    Music was way better five minutes ago than it is now. Do you remember five minutes ago? Back then, the music meant something, we could all identify with it….and lol, it was actual music. But now, I mean, what is this? You call this music? It's crap!

    • Biff

      Dad?

    • Doktor Zoom
    • Cleos_Mom

      "Music was way better five minutes ago than it is now. Do you remember five minutes ago?"

      Surely a double-first-cousin to the popular conviction that any time before the speaker was age 30 or so was "a more innocent time." I've even heard that said about the 1970s, which was about as innocent as Ned's Nudie Bar.

      • http://www.acepilots.com/wwi/can_bishop.html WABishop

        Yes, with statements like these i always substitute "innocent" with "ignorant".

    • http://www.acepilots.com/wwi/can_bishop.html WABishop

      That attitude is so three minutes ago.

    • tessiee

      "And those rappers and their so-called music… Rap, they call it. Left out the "C", if you ask me!" — Dennis Miller, Gallagher, and a bunch of other old hacks

  • rickmaci

    Everybody gets old, circle of life and all that. But that DOES NOT require that one has to THINK old. Not a pretty sight to read something that is essentially a public confession of being old, cranky and bitter.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      How old are you?

  • Guppy

    Sex is already routine in a hooking-up culture.

    Once again, nobody sent me the memo.

    • HistoriCat

      Probably missed the age range. Kinda like being the kid who is juuuuuust a hair too short to go on the roller coaster.

      • Guppy

        Sex with wild abandon, just not that much wild abandon, hm?

    • Biff

      Right?

      When I was young, they wanted an older man. Now that I am older, they want younger men.

      MAKE UP YOUR MINDS, WOMEN!

      • NellCote71

        Hey. It works both ways, you know.

        • Biff

          No doubt you are correct, but not in my own experience.

    • Negropolis

      That was a dumb line of her's. Hooking-up is nothing but sex; of course, sex is "routine in a hooking-up culture." There is noting "already" about it.

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    MacDonalds just introduced the Epicene Roué in Paris, next to the Royale with Cheese.

    • Vecchiojohn

      Why don't they just call it a quarter pounder?

      • jaytingle

        Because it's a McNugget. Eat it. Eat it. Mange-toi.

        • Serolf_Divad

          Exactly, "roue" is "nugget" in Metric.

    • tessiee

      What th–… Are you giving my mother a *foot massage*??

  • FrankFuror

    Wait, so to join this thread we have to defend Katy Perry and Taylor Swift?

    Y'know, I think I'm gonna sit this one out. I'll see you guys on the next one.

    • eggsacklywright

      Not so much defend, I think, as to allow them to frolic in their own corporate irrelevance. Gimme the Clash any day.

      • tessiee

        Wait…
        So if I go, there will be trouble — but if I stay, it will be DOUBLE??
        Well, *that's* an easy decision!

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    I don't know who any of these people are.

    • Serolf_Divad

      They're the Second Life avatars of a bunch of current and previous Wonkette writers.

  • Severen13

    ***As a glance at any suburban high school prom these days will show, there has been a vast increase in sexually revealing, super-adult clothing among middle-class girls. ***

    People were whining about this exact thing 30 years ago when Madonna came along. *Yawn* Every generation has a horrible eee-vil pop tart who going to cause the fall of Western Civilization as we know it and a bitter aging has-been bitching and moaning about it in a desperate last grasp to stay relevant.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Except Camille loved Madonna.

    • tessiee

      "***As a glance at any suburban high school prom these days will show, there has been a vast increase in sexually revealing, super-adult clothing among middle-class girls. *** "

      There's a piece about this phenomenon called, "Stop Dressing your Six Year Old Like a Skank"; as contrasted with Paglia's writing, it is entertaining and not drenched in bile and bitterness.

    • SpiderCrab

      Paglia skulks around suburban high school proms? How daringly winsome!

  • not that Dewey

    Lady Gaga: "What am I? Chopped liver?"

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      I think the quote was, "what am I wearing, chopped liver?"

      • not that Dewey
      • jaytingle

        That's called foie gras, or, as they say at Walmart, "epicene roué."

    • smitallica

      Actually, it's "What am I, WEARING chopped liver?"

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        Great minds — or The Greatest Minds?

        • smitallica

          I vote B.

        • tessiee

          Or, are you both just in the mood for a little nosh?

      • not that Dewey

        Everyone's a critic. Particularly Camille Paglia.

  • http://www.udargo.com MaxUdargo

    Ok, look: you quote Paglia saying this Kate Perry person is "a symptom of what has gone wrong" and then sneer at her for blaming Perry for slutty girls and the fall of civilization. What part of "symptom" do you not understand?

    I didn't read the article, but if her point is that living in porno-world is growing rather tiresome, I'm not going to argue. Sex is still dirty, and dirtier than ever, it's just that we all walk around filthy all the time like Pigpen from Peanuts.

    • Fare la Volpe

      I've seen my dad's Playboys from the seventies: sex today isn't dirtier, it's just better shaven.

      • http://www.udargo.com MaxUdargo

        Yes, because there's nothing dirty about shaved pussy.

        • Fare la Volpe

          *double checks post*

          Nope, never implied anything of the sort.

          I think that stick up your ass has progressed to your brain. You should get that looked at.

          • eggsacklywright

            There are times when a downfist would be a useful appliance.

          • http://www.udargo.com MaxUdargo

            My, my, we sure are touchy about this subject, aren't we, little bear?

            And you'll need to work on those reading comprehension skills. I don't know how you're going to survive on the internet without recognizing obvious sarcasm. Less masturbating and more book reading, maybe?

          • Negropolis

            Puh-leeze. You do this all of the time. That wasn't sarcasm. Own your words.

    • http://www.wonkette.com Tangled sin tax

      If it isn't dirty, you're Doing it Rong.

    • shawnthesheep

      There's nothing dirty about sex. Sex is a healthy, natural, normal expression of being alive. Only perverts and fundamentalists think sex is dirty. So which are you?

      • http://www.udargo.com MaxUdargo

        If those are the only two choices I have, O Hander Down of Labels, then I'll take "exhausted."

        • shawnthesheep

          Sorry, but you were the one who labeled all of society porno-world. You are defending Paglia, when you haven't even read the fucking article. Seriously.

          • http://www.udargo.com MaxUdargo

            Sorry, but I don't need Paglia to tell me I live in porno-world. Paglia's ass-stick isn't nearly as long as mine. Still, O Understander of Everything, I choose "exhausted." Any more non-sequiturs? Don't you want to make some argument about how you shouldn't have to pay for Metallica music because, well, you're just so fucking precious?

          • shawnthesheep

            What the fuck are talking about? What non-sequiturs? I replied directly to what you said. You, on the other hand, brought up Metallica and music downloading, which seems to have little to do with what's being discussed.

            If you've decided we live in "porno-world," that's all well and good. But the fact remains you are defending Paglia's take on Katy Perry et. al. without actually taking the time to read the fucking article. But, hey, at least you are approaching the subject being discussed with an open mind.

            People have been screaming about various musicians and performers corrupting the morals of society for as long as there have been human societies. This is just the latest flavor. Before it was Katy Perry, it was Britney, Madonna, the Beatles,Elvis, etc. etc. etc. It's just the same tired old drivel that has been thrown out for millenia.

            The fact is that people like you with sticks up their asses would be bitching about the corruption of morals and the prevalence of porno imagery regardless of what time you lived in. But you go ahead and keep up the good fight, Prudence.

    • Doktor Zoom

      “Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.”

      — Allan Stewart Konigsberg

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

    Lilith Fair's still cancelled, right?

  • Fare la Volpe

    Camille Paglia continues to age with all the grace and poise of a dog turd.

    • not that Dewey

      Dog turds harden and stop stinking after a while.

  • PubOption

    While some of these women may not have much talent in the areas of singing and songwriting, they have shown side-boob on occasions.

  • Fare la Volpe

    …why the hell is Paglia watching kids at their school proms?

    • not that Dewey

      Busybody? Too much time on her hands? Pervert?

    • Negropolis

      Are you impling that Ms. Paglia is a pedobear…'cause I am.

  • HistoriCat

    I have always been a big admirer of Katy Perry's talents.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      I love all of Katy's and Rihanna's videos with the sound off.

    • Negropolis

      Both of 'em, I iagine. She's a double threat.

  • SexySmurf

    You know, teenage girls aren't the only people who listen to Taylor Swift, Katy Perry and Rihanna. Some adult men, for example, enjoy their music, too, so I've heard. Hypothetically with votes.

    Why are you all looking at me?

    • gullywompr

      Yes I've noticed some men take an interest in things that young girls like (cough Dok cough ponies cough).

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        No, no! With Dok, it's all about the irony, not secretly wanting to hold and squeeze a sassy little pony and brush her hair!

        • gullywompr

          Right. That's the same reason SexySmurf listens to Taylor Swift – for the ironies.

          • SexySmurf

            I didn't say it was me. Who said it was me? You crazy. I was just…I was just talking in general. About other people. Maybe you have something you want to confess, gullywompr, if that's your real name (what are you hiding?)

        • Doktor Zoom

          Let's face it

  • Gayer_Than_Thou

    Is it just me, or is there something — oh, I dunno — racist about the way Paglia describes Rihanna as being all about carnal pleasure and physical activity ("gamboling" is the thing you do when you're an antelope, right?), but when she talks about the white girls it's more about their minds? I suppose I could go read the whole piece to see if there's any substance to my charge, but … eh.

    • jello_mold

      Yeah me too – visions of Josephine Baker.

    • mmeetoilenoir

      Nope. You're not the only one.

  • kittensdontlie

    For many, a love in vain lies heavily on their bosom. As to for Camille, for whom the roughcut Sarah Palin was the golden apple of her eye.

    Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love. ~ Charlie Brown.

  • Wadisay

    This is good news for John McCain.

    • Nostrildamus

      Sure. Why not?

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Message: Of the three, Camille would most like to fuck Rihanna.

    • Negropolis

      That's exactly what I took from that. I think she wouldn't kick Taylor or Katy out of bed, but it's pretty clear she wants Rihanna in the worst way.

    • ttommyunger

      Me too!

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    I don't really disagree with any of the quotes about the girl singers you have in there, and it's not a crime to refer to Old People's Stuff, but whatever.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    So what characteristics would her ideal pop chanteuse have? I'm thinking a 22 year old dressed like a librarian, singing songs about third world economics. Unfortunately, there will ALWAYS be vapid teenybopper music. Sorry, Camille.

    • Blueb4sinrise
      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        I'll be in my study.

    • not that Dewey

      They don't exactly look like librarians, but I'm guessing something like this.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        If they shot goat's milk out of their brassieres, they'd have a hit!

      • Guppy

        The what sisters!?

        • not that Dewey

          Lenin-uh

    • http://www.wonkette.com Tangled sin tax

      Works for me. Let me take this opportunity to beg yet again for a return to the sexy library science major logo.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Ladies, if Ms. Paglia makes you feel bad just remember: the worst presidents have all been men. True story!

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Oh, and Camille? It's gyre and gimble in the wabe, not gambols in the waves. Read a book fer chrissakes.

  • DixvilleCrotch

    Any songstress who shoots sparks from her brassiere is OK in my book.

    • Biff

      Also, whipped cream.

      • Guppy

        That one sounds more like a medical oddity.

    • Nostrildamus

      J. S. Bach did it better.

  • LibrarianX

    Camille soldiers on, sharing her poignant observations, that have the relevance of nothing.

  • Steverino247

    I don't listen to the "music" of any of these folks. Now excuse me while I put some Zappa on…

    • eggsacklywright

      Hear, hear. Heh.

    • bikerlaureate

      Yyyai yai yai yai yai yai yai!

  • owhatever

    I don't understand this. And that fact gives me happyz.

    • Guppy

      My only real awareness of Taylor Swift comes from being creeped the fuck out by seeing her life-size cutout standing at the end of every aisle of a Walgreen's.

  • tessiee

    “It’s My Party (And I’ll Cry if I Want to)”

    Back when I still had regular work, one year I had to work on my birthday, so I made a screensaver that said this.

    • Biff

      Kids these days. Back in '63, when this song came out, we didn't have screensavers. Or screens, but whatevs.

    • Barrelhse

      I would cry, too, if it happened to me.

  • jamsie25

    Who the heck is Camille Paglia and why should I, or anyone care?

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Back in the '90s, she generated a lot of academic take-down articles and angry letters to the editor by trying to play all sides: anti-feminist-feminist, blame-the-victim rape justifier, Madonna fan.

    • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

      Taught at University of the Arts in Philly. Wrote some book that was lauded with critical praise in the very early '90's (forget the name of it). Basically an antagonistic contrarian asshole on most things considered feminist.

  • tessiee

    Hey, look, everybody!
    Camille Paglia has read Catullus and Herodotus (which figures, if you know what I mean), and is throwing them all together with some current pop culture references!
    She's totally not irrelevant, recycling the same tripe she was saying about Madonna a quarter century ago, and provoking the reaction, "Is THAT tired old hack still alive?", so let's all pay attention to her.

    • LloydDrako

      Madonna gets a special PagliaPass because she's, like, Italian.

  • http://my.execpc.com/~artkm/rabbit_hole.html MilwaukeeKent

    Like Camille, I too am upset though not too upset about the seemingly loose morals of these Flappers — but I blame it on the radio and the rumble-seat.

    • tessiee

      Also, that jazz music, which I heard leads to smoking reefers.

      • http://my.execpc.com/~artkm/rabbit_hole.html MilwaukeeKent

        Jazz, reefer and those Moving Pictures! And isn't Rudolph Valentino the epitome of the epicene roue? Kids today, I just don't know…

      • Vecchiojohn

        I know what you mean? Have you seen this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gV3fni84cGw

        DISgusting!

    • jello_mold

      Touche!

    • Guppy

      Mrs. Hart feels it was the tragic combination of liquor and jazz that lead to her downfall.

    • Negropolis

      Rumble-seat, indeed.

  • smitallica

    Oh, Camille.
    Katy Parry dresses like an adult because she is, as you pointed out, 28 years old. Also, tits.

  • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

    Camille is a born fun sucker.

    • FeloniousMonk

      Though probably not a pheasant plucker.

  • GregComlish

    To be fair, you can't get much more racy than a regatta.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Popstars dress too sexy and are being copied by their teen audience?

    Britney Spears says hello from the year 2000.

    But Madonna from 1983 just wants you to fuck off.

    • Guppy

      But Madonna from 1983 just wants you to fuck off.

      And this contrasts from Madonna from 2012 how?

  • tessiee

    I would at least give some consideration to deploring Katy Perry, if only I could tell which one was her and which one was Zoey Deschanel.

  • tessiee

    Stretch marks don't go well with black leather, Camille.

  • tessiee

    "epicene roué Russell Brand"

    Russell Brand scares the shit out of me. That is all.

    • ttommyunger

      You and small children.

  • snowpointsecret

    tarted up with snarky spin that is evidently taken for hip

    I'm taking that as a shot against Wonkette. Who's with me?

    • jello_mold

      Tarted up with snarky spin – just how I roll everyday yo.

    • Guppy

      Taking a shot? I'm with you on that.

  • snowpointsecret

    I actually kind of like Taylor Swift.

    I'm not a fan of Katy Perry's music but I can't stop seeing that moment she had singing with that autistic girl for charity and thinking at the least she's a really good person. Her hair color choices, on the other hand, terrify me.

  • GregComlish

    We are all [insert plural of epicene roué] now

    • Nostrildamus

      The plural is spelled "Truck-Nutz".

  • Calapine

    Her writing style reminds me of Peggy Noonan, somehow…

    • Guppy

      Do we really need to inspire Our Editrix to delve into Joyce again?

  • SexySmurf

    Katy Perry’s schizophrenia — good-girl mask over trash and flash — is a symptom of what has gone wrong.

    If only her parents had been strict Christians none of that would have happened.

    • Negropolis

      If only they'd been evangelical preachers who didn't let their daughter listen to the devil's music.

      Yeah, I know a little too much about her. lol

  • snowpointsecret

    I'm not sure she understands schizophrenia. Or society. Or music. Or human decency. Or… Yeah, you get the point.

  • jello_mold

    What's French for GET OFF MY LAWN?

  • docterry6973

    I skimmed the article and there was not even one lady getting the sex sucked out of her, so it is a rip-off.

  • snowpointsecret

    Huh, and here I thought old rich white Republicans in actual positions of power were the problem with this country, not young women singing for a living.

  • Cleos_Mom

    The comments to that story on hollywoodreporter made Camille look brilliant in comparison. No easy feat.

  • not that Dewey

    This is one of those names that I've only seen written down, never heard aloud. Is it pronounced PAG-LIA or PAH-LIA? Not that it matters; she's annoying either way.

    • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

      I always thought it was Pall- leeya.

      • not that Dewey

        BINGO!

        • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

          (emphasis on 'Pall')

          • not that Dewey

            *wink*

          • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

            *nudge*

          • not that Dewey

            Ow!

          • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

            I'm sorry. Just nudgin'. *wink*

    • tessiee

      There's a branch of my family that has a surname ending in "aglia", as in Medaglia D'Oro coffee. They pronounce it "ahlia". Granting that pretty much anything goes with personal names, "aglia" would be an Americanized pronunciation, and would be sort-of like going into a deli that sold bagels and asking for "a dozen of those delicious Jewish doughnuts".

      • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

        Same here, some of my family has the last name 'Fellin' which in Italy is pronounced 'fell-lean', but here it's pronounced 'felon' like your typical car thief. (maybe shouldn't have divulged that, but who gives a shit. Ya want my identity? I don't think you do.)

    • Negropolis

      There is nothing in English that really does justice to the sound at the end. The second one is closer, but you have to have more spit and your mouth and you have to kind of close the back of your tongue against the back of your mouth and blow or suck…

      I know, I know: That's what she said.

      But, if you're Real American, you just butcher it like everyone else already does.

      • not that Dewey

        A glottal stop? Like in Sa'udi 'Arabia? How appropriate. She should try spending some time there. With votes.

  • barto

    Indolent vacations? How dare she! For shame, Rhianna.

    Note to Camille: you're trying too hard, darling. Here, go buy yourself something pretty.

  • gingerland62

    "gambols in the waves and lolls with friends"

    Are Gambol and Lolls her dogs?

    • sullivanst

      Yes, and her cats are named Brillig and Mimsy.

  • jello_mold

    OT: p-ness goes up, p-ness goes down. Who can explain it?

    • ttommyunger

      Fuck the P's, go with the snark and sarcasm as hard as you fucking can.

  • HempDogbane

    If epicene roue is wrong, I don't want to be right.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Even more hilarious is Paglia's crush on the Snow Grifter, which I did not hear about at the time because Paglia, who cares?
    http://jezebel.com/5084245/camille-paglia-sarah-p

  • MiniMencken

    Seriously, Rebecca, who would prefer come to your home for a dinner party, Camille Paglia or Taylor Swift?

    • docterry6973

      Either, if they promise to bring Katy Perry along.

  • proudgrampa

    LEAVE KATY ALOOOOOOONE!!!!!1!

  • sullivanst

    We don’t know either, but “racy regalia” is now the name of the yacht we will someday buy when we are rich.

    I have to ask, because I do, but will Racy Regalia race regattas?

    Also too, if one's vacation involves doing things lustily, by definition it is not indolent.

    And just for those who can't be bothered to Google it, epicene roué = effeminate manwhore.

  • schvitzatura

    Who you getting next notchy, you filthy old simka? Goggly Googol? Johnny Zhivago? The Heaven 17?

  • Doktor Zoom

    All's I knows is that Julie Winters liked Paglia and The Maxx thought Susan Faludi was smarter.

    I am not inclined to disagree with the Maxx. On anything.

    • bobbert

      Dok, sometimes the range of your scholarship is vaguely disturbing to me.

      • Doktor Zoom

        The great thing about having a PhD is that it allows one to take "being a fan of something" and pass it off as scholarship.

  • Manhattan123

    Isn't Paglia the one who spent the Clinton years spewing forth venom as to how evil Bill and Hillary were? She's an uggo who hates the thought of anyone anywhere having more fun than she will ever have in her dark, sad, dreary little life. Why give the lardass attention?

  • carlgt1

    Camille was relevant for a few months in 1983, right?

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    camille paglia: reminding everyone everywhere what 'first world problems' means.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    now if we'd had 'louche' roue, then we would have been talking bout capt jack and i would wholeheartedly endorse that.

    • bobbert

      Captain Jack will get you high tonight.

      Oh, wrong Captain Jack?

  • Dashboard Buddha

    She sucks because she sucks or she sucks because Camille is too old to derive any pleasure from it?

    Look, I'm a cranky music snob…(hey you get off of my staff paper!), but even I can honestly say that modern pop doesn't speak to me because it's written for children that could my kids. Conversely, I really like James McMurtry because he writes songs that appeal to the middle age condition and I don't expect young 'uns to be going out and buying his cd.

    Oh, and Paglia is a dried up old prune desperate to remain relevant.

  • Dashboard Buddha

    You got to know when to hold them, know when to old them, know when to limp away, know when to apply for Medicare.

  • fishwharf

    I'm almost as old as Camille and I like Katy Perry. My granddaughter thinks I'm silly.

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    Jesus, is Camille Paglia still around?

  • FeloniousMonk

    This thread seems to have brought out the inner Carroll in a lot of people. As a public service, I'd like to remind you that too much snark can lead to softly and suddenly vanishing away.

  • bibliotequetress

    I really thought Camille was bricked up screaming inside a wall at the Cato Institute after an entire generation of art history students decided, as one, that their professor had to be joking if they were supposed to believe Sexual Personae isn't a parody.

  • Secluded Compound

    I don't know. This shit was just starting (the latest iteration anyway) when I was in high school, and I hated it then, and I hate it now. I don't think anything that was said in that article isn't something that my friends have said to each other.

    I certainly feel, and have always felt, the contradiction between being something of a conservative scold musically and liking iconoclastic things, but when you're coming from the angle I'm coming from, I feel justified, not cranky. This shit is bad, for sure. It sells stupidity and ugliness. Its the guts of corporate vapidity laid bare.

    For the record, I think Rhianna telling girls to like S&M while she makes up with her abusive lover is the most disgusting thing to teach young girls I've ever seen. Ever. Period. Fuck that shit. Fuck selling the stupid messaging that Sony cooks up to our kids and calling it being in touch.

    Sorry, just letting lose with my sophomoric side.

  • Negropolis

    To be fair, Taylor Swift is awfully (read: unusually) whiny and dramatic and the schtick is wearing off, hopefully. But, that Katy, she can actually sing and doesn't pretend to be anything she's not fully embracing and poking snarky fun at her saccharine sweetness.

  • amoamas

    "Sucked out of them"?

    Could someone translate that for us mid-westerners, or link to a video or something?

  • ttommyunger

    I wanted initially to give Camille props for being one of the first celebs to be openly and unashamedly ghey, but then I remember thinking the first time I saw her forty years ago I knew she went lickety-split and my gadar is the world's worst, so how could she not be "out"? So, fuck her.

  • Nostrildamus

    Let the epicene roué!

  • http://archikvetch.blogspot.com/ archikvetch

    Another incredible fact? Her art history spiels are only slightly less bitter.