when i am an old lady i shall wear purple

Obama Terrorist-Fist-Jabs Innocent Old Lady

Then he cannibaled her and ate her heart to absorb her powerWill the outrages never stop?

Screw you, old lady who met Jay Z. Annie Glenn, is married to A ASTRONAUT (Mike Dexter John Glenn) (who is apparently still alive, great job, John Glenn!), is the coolest old lady in the world.


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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

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      1. HRH_Maddie

        Hand selecting old ladies to put to death seems like an inefficient way to do a death panel, but ok. I trust ya, Barry.

        1. bikerlaureate

          We haven't seen his college transcripts. He could be a dolt. Or a sinister mastermind who's adroitly ruining this country.

          1. bikerlaureate

            They exclude women, non-Christians and people of color from their concept of "Real American" with a reflexive smoothness that comes from long practice…

        2. Lascauxcaveman

          Hand selecting old ladies to put to death seems like an inefficient way to do a death panel

          This is probably just a ceremonial thing; like the pardoning of the national turkey a few days before Thanksgiving.

          Only the opposite.

  1. HRH_Maddie

    That looks more like a celebratory post-homerun handshake than a terrorist fist jab. Did that ladies walk-off homerun put them in the playoffs?

    1. a_pink_poodle

      Followed by the TERRORIST THUMBS UP!

      Expect Communist Atheist Fascist Sharia Law in the next month.

    1. StillGoinGreen

      That is the Ohio flag. The "O" is for Ohio, and the stars represent each time the State Attorney General has successfully stifled a progressive from attaining any office at the state or national level.

      1. Callyson

        Crap…I take it there is no hope for the amazing Nina Turner? I know her from her appearances on The Ed Show–she is amazing and I would love to see her in the US Senate some day.

        What? I can dream, can't I?

  2. BaldarTFlagass

    The little old lady from Cuyahoga
    (Go granny, go granny, go granny, go)
    Has a pretty little flowerbed of white gardenias
    (Go granny, go granny, go granny, go)
    But parked in a rickety old garage
    Is a brand-new, shiny red, super-stock Dodge

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      Great. Not only do I now have an earworm, I'm going to be fretting all day to come up with a flower that rhymes with "Cuyahoga."


  3. Mumbletypeg

    In The Right Stuff — as if there wasn't enough eye candy via Sam shepard, Ed Harris etc. for me to stay otherwise preoccupied with – – Ms. Glenn was portrayed quite effectively I thought by Zooey Deschanel's real-life mom, had the stammer and grace-under-fire mien down perfectly IMO.

    And that is all; I have no snark for this one.

  4. elviouslyqueer

    "Okay, one more time, grandma. It's just a jump to the left, and then a step to the right. Put your hands on your hips, and bring your knees in tight."

  5. TootsStansbury

    This is so much better than the silk wood shower I was about to undergo for having read this morning's posts.

    1. rickmaci

      With the second term issue resolved, I get the feeling we are seeing the emergence of a very unburdened Obama, one is not going to hesitate to jump in and stir things up a bit. I hope.

      1. BadKitty904

        From your mouth to God's ear. There are plenty of legislative asses well overdue for a kicking.

  6. Disassembly

    From the picture it appears as though he's new to the thumbs-up gesture and Sen. Glenn finds that hilarious.

  7. TaggWatchesYou

    Careful Annie. As man-folk, once he's done building this rapport, he's going to want to kill you.

  8. JustPixelz

    Then she asked if he's MF'in' Ice-T.

    Now Obama's going after the white retiree vote by speaking their body language.

    And if Romney had won, she'd be curtseying while he bowed.

  9. DixvilleCrotch

    That reminds me… whatever became of the Montauk Monster? After his fist-jab at the convention he has been out of the news.

    1. CindynEncinitas

      He's hanging out in La Jolla. Prolly just gritting his teeth until polo season. He has been spotted around town.

  10. James Michael Curley

    Ms. Glenn has courageously played her role as wife of a national hero for over half a century and has done so despite having a horrible speech impediment. She deserves a medal of freedom or something like that.

    1. Goonemeritus

      And it should be noted that that is no small role, there are almost zero degrees of freedom when it came to appropriate behavior. I would personally have an easier time being married to an infamous ax murder than one of our nation’s most famous astronauts.

    2. DustyBowlBlues

      Shit. I forgot that from the movie. I was going to claim that I'm the coolest old lady in the world, but she takes the cake. I was, well, sometimes am a stutter and it's terribly embarrassing. I want this lady to be my friend. We can wear purple together.

      1. James Michael Curley

        You can be the coolest old lady in the Wonkette world and that can be as big as you want it to be.

  11. Fare la Volpe

    Something tells me when Annie Glenn showed up to the White House and the President said they were gonna "do bumps" together, this isn't what she had in mind…

    *nostril snort*

  12. TribecaMike

    These Masonic beer summits are getting out of hand. (That is Henry Louis Gates on the right, isn't it?)

  13. BlueStateLibel

    New royal British heir on the way…president using strange sign language with little old lady …the prophecy is coming true!

  14. DustyBowlBlues

    I've nothing much to say about the story itself, but the small print over the headline give me the chance to comment on something that really hacks me off.

    I wear fucking purple now, if I want. Yes, I'm about to qualify for Medicare and I wear purple and I wore it when I was younger if I fucking wanted to. I had to sit through a campfire event where the birthday girl was 50 and a bunch of women came to send prayers to the Moon Goddess, or something. I also had to bring a bead representing wisdom (wtf? I'm a United Methodist, not a goddam Druid) for the crone bracelet. The 50 yr birthday girl read this poem. I think the whole gd thing was about menopause or something. It took a few hours. I love the friend deeply (well, loved, she's dead) and would go through any of this shit for her but really–

    I figured I'd celebrated menopause enough so when I hit that rocky road, I went to the doctor and said if you don't give me estrogen to take, I'm going to plunge a butcher knife through my husband's heart then do myself. (See commie hippies? Knives kill too. Did I mention we don't own a gun?) He granted my wish.

    The meds together with the fact I'd done the Moon Goddess thing to the full extent it's doable. The End.

    Sweet Jesus, I take it all back. It's sprinkling here in the Dust Bowl! Water, from the sky. Hurray.

    1. Goonemeritus

      There is nothing wrong with being old unless you make the fruitless comparison to what it was like to be young. As to wearing purple, I remember a year or two back I was sitting at an airport gate when a striking couple in their mid-60’s sat down near me. The woman was conventionally beautiful save for the fact that she had dyed her hair a bright purple. As a New Yorker I have been trained to never look at people but for this couple I made an exception. They just couldn’t have been cooler or looked happier. When I got up to board my flight I started humming the Gogol Bordello song “Start Wearing Purple” and I rewarded with nice smiles. Anyway, congratulations on the rain and not stabbing your husband.

    2. Biff

      My sister gave herself a similar party when she hit 60. I didn't get all the menopause humor, being an estrogen-deprived American, especially considering she'd had a hysterectomy some 25 years prior.

    3. finallyhappy

      Yes to Hormones!!! I do not have the endless nightly sweats anymore. I did not do any ceremony for my 50th(but will be glad to celebrate my 60th next year with wonketteers) or do anything to announce menopause to anyone except my various physicians.

  15. lulzmonger

    "This is for kicking that rich equity-debt-pimping dickhead's ass … & this is for making his skeevy Marie Antoinette Wannabe wife cry."

    "Mission fully the fuck Accomplished, ma'am."

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