THE WHISKEY SQUIRMISH  2:21 pm December 7, 2012

Donald Trump Acts Like Petulant Child To Surprise Of Absolutely No One

by Doktor Zoom

It's a Beautiful SnitAs if there were any doubt that Donald Trump is the world’s richest cranky toddler, the useless sack of bile is now pursuing a vendetta against the distiller of Glenfiddich whiskey after the company sponsored a contest that honored an opponent of a golf resort that Trump plans to build in Scotland. Trump’s latest case of the whining spitties erupted when Michael Forbes, a “quarryman and salmon fisherman” who has refused to sell his 28-acre property to Trump, was named “Top Scot” in a contest sponsored by the whiskey brand. In retaliation, Trump announced that his ptomaine-factory resorts and casinos will no longer sell any whiskeys made by Glenfiddich’s parent company, William Grant & Sons. Leaving aside the peevish overreaction, we question the wisdom of reducing the number of disinfecting agents available at Trump properties.

In exactly the sort of thing that you would expect Donald Trump to say, the overcompensating narcissist spun out a conjecture that the distiller’s dumb publicity-stunt contest, which it has sponsored for fifteen years, was actually conceived and executed in reaction to Trump Himself, because, of course, the successful whiskey-making concern was jealous of the pure concentrated white dwarf star of brilliance that is Trump, who recently began marketing his own brand of single-malt firewater:

“Glenfiddich should be ashamed of themselves for granting this award to Forbes, just for the sake of publicity.

“Glenfiddich is upset that we created our own single malt whisky using another distillery, which offers far greater products. People at our clubs do not ask for Glenfiddich, and I make a pledge that no Trump property will ever do business with Glenfiddich or William Grant & Sons.

“I hereby call for a boycott on drinking Glenfiddich products because there is no way a result such as this could have been made by the Scottish people.”

Poor Donald Trump! The poor man can’t even get pretend elections to go the way he wants! At least this time he didn’t call for a revolution. Still, the man does have an uncanny talent for saying stuff that simply reeks of un-self-aware grandiosity, doesn’t he?

After suggesting that the voting for Forbes had been fixed by “a small group of detractors” casting multiple votes, he continued: “Glenfiddich’s choice of Michael Forbes, as Top Scot, will go down as one of the great jokes ever played on the Scottish people and is a terrible embarrassment to Scotland.”

Yes, Donnie. It certainly is embarrassing. But only to someone with the slightest sense of shame.

In a side-note to the story, Mr. Forbes’s anti-Trump stand has been embraced by filmmaker and House of Lords member David Puttnam, who produced Bill Forsyth’s 1983 film Local Hero, a tale of Scottish eccentrics who successfully resist a rapacious American tycoon’s plans to buy up and exploit their property. It’s a pretty good movie, but Donald Trump is no Burt Lancaster.

We suppose that, because of this sleazy hit piece, there’s no chance His Royal Hairness will stock our excellent line of high-quality Wonkette tees, hats, and mugs.

[The Guardian via alert Wonkette Operative Biel_ze_Bubba]

Check out Wonkette on Facebook and Twitter, and if you want the YOOOGEST, most BYOOOTYFUL, high-quality tweets ever, Doktor Zoom is on Twitter, also, too.

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 227 comments }

Barbara_ December 7, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Donald Trump, staunch advocate for Cocoa Puffs. (if ya know what I mean)

Mittaplasia December 7, 2012 at 3:12 pm

What? We can't say, "cuckoo" any more?

poorgradstudent December 7, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Why, it's as if he's someone who became wealthy and well-known through no actual merit!

BaldarTFlagass December 7, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Top Scot? Seems like Trump is Top Twat.

SuspectedDemocrat December 7, 2012 at 2:30 pm

It looks like his top twat is badly in need of a trim.

BaldarTFlagass December 7, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Or maybe a twim?

smellypossum December 7, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Volunteers to Brazilian wax his noggin' tribble?

HogeyeGrex December 7, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Twim the Twump?

sullivanst December 7, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Yes, but first, fwee Woddewick.

actor212 December 7, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Great! Now you've given him an idea for a new reality show: America's Next Top Twat

Thanks, man…

edgydrifter December 7, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Trump wagging his finger at somebody else's publicity stunt is like a giant turd criticizing an onion for stinking up the joint.

CindynEncinitas December 7, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Methinks he dost protest too much.

mrpuma2u December 7, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Oh yeah, yet another "good idea" from the Donald. Fuck with the Scots. Worked out real well for the Roman Empire. What a dumbshit. If I wasn't so pathetically strapped for cash I would go buy a case of Glenfiddich today. Maybe I'll get one of those teeny bottles.

Terry December 7, 2012 at 2:38 pm

I would, too, except that I'm currently working my way through an absolutely fabulous bottle of 12 yr old Yamazaki.

NellCote71 December 7, 2012 at 3:02 pm

I thought you ride Yamazakis not drink them.

Mrspanky December 7, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Goddamn right! And its off to the hootcheteria for a fifth of Glenfiddich!

Trump is a jackass, but a useful jackass!

LesBontemps December 7, 2012 at 3:00 pm

You need a reason to drink?

viennawoods13 December 7, 2012 at 11:57 pm

My husband poured himself a glass when he heard it last night, from his own teeny bottle of Glenfiddich.

elviouslyqueer December 7, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Tacky, whiny titty-baby is tacky.

smellypossum December 7, 2012 at 2:28 pm

I'd pay money to see Trump get an old-fashioned beat-down by a true Scot.

Any 8-year old from Glasgow could do the job.

BadKitty904 December 7, 2012 at 2:43 pm

I'm sure Trump's egocentric publicity stunt will work out just about as well as that terrorist attack on the Glasgow Airport back in '07…where the locals, standing about the airport terminal at the time of the attack, beat the living shit out of the terrorists, then held them 'til the police arrived.

The Scots have been kicking assorted asses for over 2,000 years…

HistoriCat December 7, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Yes but most of that ass-kicking has been against their traditional enemies, the Scots.

mull_man December 7, 2012 at 4:10 pm

It's arses, mah mukker, arses.

MaxNeanderthal December 7, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Donald, there's a Black Watch regiment outside wants a wee word wi' ye..

rocksout December 7, 2012 at 6:45 pm

Right you are, laddy

johnnyzhivago December 7, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Sounds like the movie "Local Hero" except in that film everyone was actually kind of interesting and well meaning, as opposed to Trump who is a boorish and self absorbed shmuck.

BadKitty904 December 7, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Great flick, tho. "How do you do business with a man who has no door?"

johnnyzhivago December 7, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Agreed!!

viennawoods13 December 7, 2012 at 11:58 pm

I adore that film. So many classic lines, all that wonderful deadpan comedy. Bill Forsyth did a lovely gem of an Xmas film too, Comfort and Joy.

WhatTheHolyHeck December 7, 2012 at 2:29 pm

You'd think the Scots would embrace Trump more, in light of that Deerhound on his scalp.

sewollef December 7, 2012 at 2:29 pm

AdChoices video ad on this page makes me fucking crazy!!

It auto runs a video and gives you no choice to at least kill the volume. That is disrespectful, particularly when you're at work [as I am], and guarantees I won't click through.

Oh yes, Donald Trump…. I'll be right back.

commiegirl99 December 7, 2012 at 2:41 pm

But if you click through, you can send me the URL, so I can murder it. They are not supposed to be doing that.

sewollef December 7, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Oh, would you be a lamb and kill it for us:
http://www.adbrite.com/mb/adchoices.php

Fanx.

commiegirl99 December 7, 2012 at 2:53 pm

No, thank YOU!

actor212 December 7, 2012 at 2:48 pm

If you click the ad, you can pause it, at least on my machine. It still autostarts but for a stopgap…

sewollef December 7, 2012 at 2:56 pm

I tried that and it took me to the site being advertised. Another talking site. Damn it.

Once it's finished its 15-second cycle I can pause it as the controls appear, but until that point I get no video controls at all…. and in a nice quiet design studio, my boss doesn't like it too much.

Annoyingly, I know how to make video controls appear and slide out of view on sites, but this is just plain naughty.

Biel_ze_Bubba December 7, 2012 at 5:33 pm

Most browsers let you disable autoplay.

caitifty December 8, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Most browsers let you load extensions which get rid of all ads forever..

Geminisunmars December 7, 2012 at 2:29 pm

In the spirit of anti-boycotts, I suppose now I will have to break out the Glenfiddich. brb.

Baconzgood December 7, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Companies granting awards to people for publicity? GASP! Those monsters!

PugglesRule December 7, 2012 at 2:44 pm

It's exactly the opposite of companies running reality TV shows for publicity, right? Right?

NellCote71 December 7, 2012 at 3:08 pm

I bet Michael Forbes is demanding that the Prime Minister produce his birth certificate, and Trump finds it treasonous. That's what I bet.

Tengu December 7, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Seriously, how small does your penis have to be to be this massively insecure?

Maman December 7, 2012 at 2:37 pm

it must be an innie

WABishop December 8, 2012 at 7:19 am

Trump has a vag?

Lizzietish81 December 7, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Come on, look at his toupee. Look at it.

Now do we really need to ask how insecure this man is?

bearperney December 7, 2012 at 3:44 pm

I'm thinking somebodies testicles did not descend.

Beowoof December 7, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Wow, that was really clever on Glen Fiddich's part, as now I feel compelled to head over to my local liquor store and purchase and consume more this fine brand. It is funny how recognizing that big douche bag will react like a big douche bag will lead to more sales. Kudo's to Glen Fiddich.

BaldarTFlagass December 7, 2012 at 2:30 pm

How many fucking golf courses does Scotland need, anyway?

SavageDrummer December 7, 2012 at 2:34 pm

All of them, Katie

calliecallie December 7, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Definitely going to put a bottle of Glenfiddich in hubby's Christmas stocking this year.

actor212 December 7, 2012 at 2:31 pm

I KNEW IT! I KNEW THEM DAMNED PONIES WERE SATAN'S SPAWN! DONALD TRUMP'S APPRENTICES! ALL OF THEM!

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 7, 2012 at 2:49 pm

See why it is best not to piss off the ponies?

Mitt Romney pissed off the ponies, and look how his year turned out.

HRH_Maddie December 7, 2012 at 2:31 pm

I'm going to start telling children that if you say "Glenfiddich" 3 times in a row Donald Trump will appear. That's way scarier than Bloody Mary.

….And speaking of which, it's 5 o'clock somewhere.

emmelemm December 7, 2012 at 3:05 pm

Not to mention a Bloody Mary is a noon-time drink anyway.

HRH_Maddie December 7, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Too true. Plus, it's made with tomato juice, so it's practically health food!

BaldarTFlagass December 7, 2012 at 2:32 pm

So, is he okay with The Glenlivet?

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 7, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Let's hope not, I like The Glenlivet.

pepperpat December 7, 2012 at 2:32 pm

"…the overcompensating narcissist spun out a conjecture that the distiller’s dumb publicity-stunt contest, which it has sponsored for fifteen years, was actually conceived and executed in reaction to Trump Himself…"

I, for one, certainly support more executions in reaction to Trump Himself.

gullywompr December 7, 2012 at 2:33 pm

What, is Twilight Sparkle interviewing to be his new hairpiece?

sewollef December 7, 2012 at 2:33 pm

It’s a pretty good movie, but Donald Trump is no Burt Lancaster.

Yeh, but at least Burt Lancaster has the decency to be dead…. and thus only plays a non-speaking part in the whole proceedings.

Terry December 7, 2012 at 2:33 pm

"Trump’s latest case of the whining spitties erupted when Michael Forbes, a “quarryman and salmon fisherman” who has refused to sell his 28-acre property to Trump, was named “Top Scot” in a contest sponsored by the whiskey brand. "

I wish I'd have known about the contest. I'd have voted for Mr. Forbes as many times as possible.

CindynEncinitas December 7, 2012 at 4:36 pm

I'm sure Mr. Forbes is just chill as hell and could really give two shits about the Donald anyway.

YouFail4eva December 7, 2012 at 2:33 pm

So, how confident are we that Trump's hair isn't in fact sentient and has been controlling the Donald all this time? Obviously only a lump of hair would be as assholish and fucktardy as what we are seeing. A real human being wouldn't be nearly this pathetic.

Abernathy December 7, 2012 at 2:33 pm

I am shocked that he hasn't yet demanded to see Forbes' long-form Scottish birf certificate; can't be Top Scot if you're a secret Kenyan.

LesBontemps December 7, 2012 at 3:05 pm

You're saying he's no true Scotsman?

Abernathy December 7, 2012 at 3:10 pm

I'll take his word for it, but Trump will probably want to check under his kilt.

NellCote71 December 7, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Sorry. I did not read through the chain before posting my own birthing take. I bow to your place in line.

Abernathy December 7, 2012 at 3:15 pm

That's not the Trump way!

CindynEncinitas December 7, 2012 at 4:40 pm

I hope he's a Scotsman's Scotsman = Pict. Proto-Celtic, matrilineal, face-painting (blue), jewelry-wearing, vicious motherfuckers on whom the movie Conan the Barbarian is loosely based and from whom I am proudly descended.

lefty74 December 7, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Trump can't piss standing up. He has to stoop. He has tucked what little manhood he has.

SavageDrummer December 7, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Too bad Glenfiddich is such vile Scotch (at least the 12 year old variety), otherwise I'd buy some out of spite, but I seriously cannot subject my refined palate to such awfulness!

actor212 December 7, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Buy it and gie it to me, boyo!

PugglesRule December 7, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Drambuie, in a shot glass.

smokefilledroommate December 7, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Islay woman here.

Lascauxcaveman December 7, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Islay women as oft as is possiible, miss, but hae me somethin' of a dry spell, of late. Per'aps we should share a wee dram an' bide a bit, sometime?

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 7, 2012 at 2:51 pm

You can't beat Islay scotch if you really want to know what Scotland taste like.

sullivanst December 7, 2012 at 3:55 pm

In that young Laphroaigs are like downing a shot of freshly dug peat?

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 7, 2012 at 7:20 pm

Mixed with seaweed and the sweet off of a Scotsman's balls. Yes. Got to love it.

MaxNeanderthal December 7, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Bowmore 25yr old. Lagavullin or Laphroig as backup…. That's funny, I find myself standing at the drinks cupboard…

smokefilledroommate December 7, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Lagavulin 16 is remarkably consistent. I love Talisker, Laphroaig (but the cask strength is like a punch in the throat), Caol Ila 12, Ardbeg is wonderful although I wish it had some later expressions.

mull_man December 7, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Lugavulin 16 yo, or a Tobermory 15 (as long as you're buying)

Tundra Grifter December 7, 2012 at 7:09 pm

Scotch, like asparagus and anal sex, is definately an acquired taste.

drbill0620 December 7, 2012 at 9:14 pm

I think I'll buy some anyway and just spit it out while watching YouTube videos of the Donald pontificating and whining about whatever…

actor212 December 7, 2012 at 2:34 pm

“Glenfiddich should be ashamed of themselves for granting this award to Forbes, just for the sake of publicity. "

There's the poit calling the coire blacach

BadKitty904 December 7, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Hoots!

rickmaci December 7, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Thanks again to DChump for reminding me I need to lay in a goodly stock of Glenfiddich for the holidays.

An_Outhouse December 7, 2012 at 2:35 pm

As long as there's plenty of opium available, a Trump resort could still be tolerable.

Mrspanky December 7, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Meanwhile, Trump Resorts announced their replacement for Glenfiddich: http://www.bumwine.com/cisco.html!

cousinitt December 7, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Local Hero, awesome movie. One of the best. Trump is also no Happer–Trump would never turn out to have a human side like Happer did.

URQUHART
I want you to try this Scotch. It's 42 years old.
MACINTYRE
Old enough to be out on its own.

BadKitty904 December 7, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Townsman: Are you sure there are two l's in "dollar", Gideon?
Gideon: Yes! An' there are two g's in "bugger off"!

shelwood46 December 7, 2012 at 5:24 pm

I still can't get over that Jimmy grew up to be Malcolm.

viennawoods13 December 8, 2012 at 12:05 am

Every line that I think of quoting from it depends so much on the context that I can't put one down without having to explain what's going on. Sigh… time to dig out my copy and watch it again. And of course- it also has Wedge!!

cousinitt December 8, 2012 at 1:03 am

Copy, Gold Leader.

viennawoods13 December 8, 2012 at 9:09 am

THAT got 'em!

BaldarTFlagass December 7, 2012 at 2:35 pm

I'm more of a Balvenie Doublewood guy myself.

actor212 December 7, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Macallan 25 or GTFO

sullivanst December 7, 2012 at 3:44 pm

*BUSTED* Noone who was pretentious enough to regularly drink The Macallan 25 on a regular basis would drop the "The"

sullivanst December 7, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Balvenie works nicely too, as it's also owned by William Grant & Sons.

Severen13 December 7, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Later, Trump called Michael Forbes and Glenfiddich products "big bad meanie stupid-heads" and threatened to tell his mommy on them.

BadKitty904 December 7, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Honestly, if any of my nephews or nieces behaved like Trump does, they'd get a spanking.

BaldarTFlagass December 7, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Old Trump sure is famously grousing about this shit.

actor212 December 7, 2012 at 2:40 pm

That would make an awesome name for a bottle of rotgut: Old Trump.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm….I wonder….if I bought a couple cases of Old Grandad and just rebottled it….

BaldarTFlagass December 7, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Maybe just a bunch of empties and fill them with piss.

actor212 December 7, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Please. I want repeat business.

Wait…they're buying it for the cheap buzz, so if I drank the Old Grandad first, THEN pissed into a bottle….

savethispatient December 7, 2012 at 2:36 pm

a terrible embarrassment to Scotland

Wait, were we talking about the football team or the rugby team?

SubhumanVarmint December 7, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Shit, I figured he was talking about them having to curtsey to an English queen, but what do I know?

Oh, and Doktor, I love the poniez. Wantz moar poniez.

ManchuCandidate December 7, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Real American Assholes –
US Amercian eelights don't just buy up tradition and bulldoze it, they throw temper tantrums and scream childish insults, safely away from the moor.
[Can't Stop Looking At Your Hair]
You say FUCK the Scots, this land is yours cause you bought it. Acting like a real US Amercian rich Asshole stereotype!
[Sean Connery's got a fooking better toupe than yours]
So throw away an ice less Glenfiddich Mr. Fake Hair Phony Billionaire US Amercian. You may claim you're a classy bajillionaire of taste, but you never had none of it anyway.
[Ach!]
And now go shill some shitty cologne and cloths.
[Trump's a name that screams shitty].

OneYieldRegular December 7, 2012 at 2:37 pm

If the Scots were more like the Corsicans, the locals would have gotten together and said, "Let him make his golf course. Let him go ahead and make his golf course. We'll take care of making the holes."

hagajim December 7, 2012 at 2:37 pm

I think I finally realize why Donald has gone so whacko…those fucking hairs are a living sentinent being and they are eating his brain. Look at those damn things waving their tentacles in that photo.

VodkaGoGo December 7, 2012 at 2:38 pm

the successful whiskey-making concern was jealous of the pure concentrated white dwarf star of brilliance that is Trump

Single-malt douchebag?

smokefilledroommate December 7, 2012 at 2:49 pm

More like Blended Swill.

Lascauxcaveman December 7, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Eh, Glenfiddich, whatevs.

But if he ties to get his grubby, short fingers on the Ardbeg, I'll punch him in the throat. Also, Scotland needs more golf courses like Trump needs more bankruptcies.

smokefilledroommate December 7, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Get near my Caol Ila, and I'll fucking Caol Ill ya! NOT with votes!

HistoriCat December 7, 2012 at 4:16 pm

I'm writing all these down … I have a Specs Liquor gift card just waiting to be used.

iburl December 7, 2012 at 2:38 pm

I hereby call on Jesus to consume Donald Trump and every last gold-plated monstrosity he has erected in a giant fireball. Amen.

Toomush_Infer December 7, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Trumped-up Trump trumped….goes down slow, like a good, single-malt should…

SayItWithWookies December 7, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Donald Trump, your own children are ashamed of your assholery. You're such an asshole that you've managed to get the United States and Scotland to loathe your combed-over assholish self simultaneously. The entire world is practically unanimous that you're the biggest globetrotting pestilence this side of the bubonic plague. You are universally regarded as having primacy in suckitude across multiple dimensions of time and space. Black holes are jealous of your suckitude.

In other words — congratulations.

Biel_ze_Bubba December 7, 2012 at 5:41 pm

No wonder the teabaggers like him.

Oblios_Cap December 7, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Oh noes – the dreaded "comment must be approved" message. What have I done?

commiegirl99 December 7, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Got it. You said "casino."

Oblios_Cap December 7, 2012 at 2:59 pm

is that bad?

sullivanst December 7, 2012 at 3:09 pm

It's presumably a case of it being a word that often appears in spam.

sullivanst December 7, 2012 at 2:59 pm

A potentially unfortunate tri uh, keyword for a Trump-related thread.

Oblios_Cap December 7, 2012 at 3:03 pm

I've really never been really good at following rules. Most of the time, I don't even know what they are.

Sharkey December 7, 2012 at 2:40 pm

I learned a new word! Ptomaine!

HogeyeGrex December 7, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Then there's Le Pétomane.

Tundra Grifter December 7, 2012 at 7:11 pm

That was the name of a fancy French restaurant mentioned in a tv series – something with Rock Hudson, as I recall…

LesBontemps December 7, 2012 at 3:12 pm

What, you didn't learn it from Allan Sherman?

Maman December 8, 2012 at 8:46 pm

How old are you Sharkey? My mother was always warning us about the dangers of canned salmon. Oh, cripes I am old

Sharkey December 9, 2012 at 6:06 pm

I am not old enough. Ptooey!

calliecallie December 7, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Revenge for Scotland!

You know what a Scot wears under his kilt?

Oblios_Cap December 7, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Just his "Trump", hanging down?

Lascauxcaveman December 7, 2012 at 2:56 pm

If he's a MacDonald, it's probably a quarter-pounder.

NellCote71 December 7, 2012 at 3:12 pm

And this MacDonald of who you speak. Where may he be? Asking for friend.

emmelemm December 7, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Lipstick!

BadKitty904 December 7, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Whatever he wants.

Biel_ze_Bubba December 7, 2012 at 5:45 pm

Socks and shoes.

rocksout December 7, 2012 at 6:42 pm

Not a damn thing!

Tundra Grifter December 7, 2012 at 7:12 pm

There is nothing worn.

Everything is in perfect workin' orrrrrderrrrr.

Kid_Charlemagne December 7, 2012 at 2:41 pm

I like to drop Donald into a peat bog.

PugglesRule December 7, 2012 at 2:46 pm

What if the peat bog spits him up?

smokefilledroommate December 7, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Peat moss would look better on his head than whatever the fuck is on it now.

Graham Cracker December 7, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Yet another reason to avoid all Trump properties.

TribecaMike December 7, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Once again, the joke's on him — Boycott is an Irish invention.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Boycott

dcjdjay December 7, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Like anyone drinks Glenfiddich at Trump's bloated, tacky hellholes anyways.

HogeyeGrex December 7, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Or his resorts, either.

BadKitty904 December 7, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Glenfiddich: "Trump who?"

editor December 7, 2012 at 2:42 pm

he sounds like a 13-year old girl freaking out over her bestest enemy being chosen "most popular." seriously, will somebody get this man a job or a real hobby already? he clearly has too much time on his hands.

Stevola December 8, 2012 at 3:21 am

His hobby is declaring bankruptcy.

BaldarTFlagass December 7, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Your move, William Wallace.

smokefilledroommate December 7, 2012 at 2:42 pm

How many times a day does this guy need his diaper changed? Jesus.

Botlrokit December 7, 2012 at 2:43 pm

I wouldn't want to win "Top Scot". That's like being named "Miss America" or something, except whiter and spottier.

HogeyeGrex December 7, 2012 at 2:44 pm

More of a Lagavulin guy, myself. Might have to have a bit of Glenfiddich now though.

Maybe I'll go buy a cup of Starbucks in the Castro and make Scottish coffee.

BadKitty904 December 7, 2012 at 2:58 pm

What, no Oban?

HogeyeGrex December 7, 2012 at 3:14 pm

It's yummy enough, but I love the Islays.

commiegirl99 December 7, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Let's find out! [dives into mod bucket] If I'm not back in an hour, run for your lives!

Disassembly December 7, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Doesn't anybody see that Trump, although he's too modest to admit it, is the Rosa Parks of our time?

Poindexter718 December 7, 2012 at 2:45 pm

"People at our clubs do not ask for Glenfiddich …"
So Donald Trump is organizing a boycott of something that was already being boycotted at his bedbug hatcheries?
That'll teach 'em!

Tundra Grifter December 7, 2012 at 7:13 pm

Next he's going to take off the menu the Elephant Stew.

Oblios_Cap December 7, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Trump needs someone to go all "William Wallace" on his ass.

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 7, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Trump is just upset that Forbes refused to release his college records despite Trump offering him $5 million for his favorite charity.

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 7, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Glenfiddich should be ashamed of themselves for granting this award to Forbes, just for the sake of publicity.

Trump is also upset because he thought he had the exclusive on doing things just for the sake of publicity.

BaldarTFlagass December 7, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Trump is going to bring out a new brand to compete, The Glenbeckich.

Mittaplasia December 7, 2012 at 3:40 pm

That sounds like the worst SDT ever!

local242thug December 7, 2012 at 2:47 pm

"they may take away our top scot award… but they'll never take OUR FREEDUMB!"

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 7, 2012 at 2:48 pm

I've never read The Art of the Deal. Where in it did Trump state the best way to start a new business venture is to piss off everyone you are dealing with?

Biel_ze_Bubba December 8, 2012 at 12:15 am

Seriously … the fact that he's gone public with being batshit crazy can't be helping his business. Who would want to invest a substantial sum of money with a certifiable loon?

Baconzgood December 7, 2012 at 2:48 pm

No Nazi reference?

FAIL!

Biel_ze_Bubba December 7, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Arbeit Malt Frei?

FNMA December 7, 2012 at 2:51 pm

That reminds me, need to stop at the liquor store on the way home.

MonkeyMotion December 7, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Looks like the Donald makes friends overseas as easily as Mittens.

Keep talking, dickwads.

Lizzietish81 December 7, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Damn, I hate whiskey, but now I'm thinking about it.

BaldarTFlagass December 7, 2012 at 3:05 pm

It's definitely an acquired taste. When I was younger, I always thought Scotch tasted like iodine, and that Jack Daniels and Southern Comfort ruled the roost. I think I was in my mid to late 30s when one day I said to myself, "Man, I think I'd like to have a taste of Scotch." The rest is history.

Redhead December 7, 2012 at 2:53 pm

I want to make fun of Trump, but I'm too distracted by that yarn-ball on top of his head. WTF?

BadKitty904 December 7, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Presumably a raccoon, preparing to nest for the winter…

Mumbletypeg December 7, 2012 at 2:54 pm

You know who else detracted his detractors with a pronounced scowl and petulant one-upmanship tactics?

Mittaplasia December 7, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Glenn Beck, the human wreck?

bobbert December 7, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Arnold Peck LIBEL!

HistoriCat December 7, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Field Marshal Joseph Joffre?

Biel_ze_Bubba December 8, 2012 at 12:16 am

Richard Nixon?

Oblios_Cap December 7, 2012 at 2:54 pm

I don't really believe that I'm the 100,000 visitor to this site like the annoying ad says.

sullivanst December 7, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Well, at least I now know that Trump has put his worthless name to a relabelled Scotch, and can make sure that I don't accidentally buy any, not that there was ever much chance of that, what with me never having seen it in stores, or advertised anywhere.

However, where was David Puttnam last year, and is Mark Knopfler available for the soundtrack?

Blueb4sinrise December 7, 2012 at 2:57 pm
Callyson December 7, 2012 at 2:59 pm

“Glenfiddich should be ashamed of themselves for granting this award to Forbes, just for the sake of publicity…"

Donald fucking TRUMP is criticizing someone for seeking publicity?

ROTFLMAO!!! Help, I'm gasping for air here!

Goonemeritus December 7, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Trump’s actions this year taken as a whole can only be seen as vandalism against his own personal brand. As a business man I find this shocking when you stop to consider that the Trump brand is all he has to sell. It would not surprise me if his missteps were taught in business schools as a cautionary tale from this time forward.

sullivanst December 7, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Not quite the full Ratner, but getting close.

emmelemm December 7, 2012 at 3:17 pm

"Ratner has said in his defence that it was a private function which he did not expect to be reported, and that his remarks were not meant to be taken seriously."

Oh my God, he's Mitt Romney!

(Seriously, I'd never actually heard of this; was interesting Wiki entry.)

Biel_ze_Bubba December 7, 2012 at 5:51 pm

"Oh my God, he's Mitt Romney! "

He's pretty much any Rethuglican politician: pandering in public to people he despises in quiet rooms.

soeoho December 7, 2012 at 3:01 pm

T-Rumps …still exist?
Bad code

Aridzona December 7, 2012 at 3:02 pm

Banning Glenfiddich? That's a dram shame.

Schmegeg December 7, 2012 at 3:04 pm

28 year old Scotch? Pfft. Birth Certificate!!

kittensdontlie December 7, 2012 at 3:04 pm

“Oh the gift that god could give us, to see ourselves as others see others.”
― Robert Burns

MacRaith December 7, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Just for that, I'm going to lift a glass of Glenfiddich tonight.

DahBoner December 7, 2012 at 3:07 pm

I just like saying "Glenfiddinch"…

Chet Kincaid_ December 7, 2012 at 3:11 pm

"This Scrooge McDuck is a fraud, a hoax, a quack, and I have more than three times the gold coins in my money pool that McDuck has. I mean it's hyooge!"

BornInATrailer December 7, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Glenfiddich. Just the latest in a long line that realize a public excoriation by the Donald is an always good.

Doktor Zoom December 7, 2012 at 3:18 pm

I keep hoping he'll come after Wonkette…

BornInATrailer December 7, 2012 at 3:28 pm

That would be fantastic. The Wonkette Twitter feed should include @realDonaldTrump for every Trump story. That has at least got to be the starting point.

Mittaplasia December 7, 2012 at 3:18 pm

We need one of those wild Amish boys to hold him down and cut his hair.

BadKitty904 December 7, 2012 at 3:20 pm

Or whatever that is on top of his head.

fuflans December 7, 2012 at 3:29 pm

you know what i'd love to see? i'd love to see donald trump dumped in the middle of somalia pirate land (let's say Harardhere b/c really, is there a BETTER name for an actual pirate city?) with no entourage, no cell phone, no car, no gun, no cash, one credit card and a nametag that says 'IMPORTANT AMERICAN DO NOT TOUCH HAIR' in somali.

i'd like to see what happens next.

Biel_ze_Bubba December 7, 2012 at 5:54 pm

I'd give him cash, and advertise the fact.

Bluestem December 7, 2012 at 3:32 pm

While we're in the highlands, can we drop the Donald off at Brigadoon? I think maybe it would be ok if he bloviated only one day every hundred years.

Ansnarkist December 7, 2012 at 3:54 pm

I know what's going in my eggnog this year.

bearperney December 9, 2012 at 1:04 am

Well, that'll be some damn fine eggnog!

LibrarianX December 7, 2012 at 4:05 pm

"Glenfiddich should be ashamed of themselves for granting this award to Forbes, just for the sake of publicity." said Donald McTrump, publicity whore.

bikerlaureate December 7, 2012 at 4:07 pm

1983, "Local Hero."
1997, "Top Scot" contest begins.

Well, yeah, this is clearly a conspiracy to humiliate Trump. There could be no other reason for either prior event to occur.

Biel_ze_Bubba December 7, 2012 at 5:55 pm

Must be the same jokers who planted Obama's birth announcements. Clever bastards!

bikerlaureate December 7, 2012 at 6:10 pm

There you go again…

joshleefolsom December 7, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Have you seen this one? Beautiful: "I am the evidence. I am an expert in tourism, I am considered a world-class expert in tourism, so when you say 'where is the evidence?', I am the evidence." http://www.scotsman.com/news/msps-reject-trump-wi

Biel_ze_Bubba December 7, 2012 at 5:57 pm

Yikes. I'm beginning to see why El Trumpet turned teabagger: he reached the point where nobody else on the planet was stupid enough to be impressed by him.

larrykat December 7, 2012 at 4:51 pm

If I were but a quarryman and salmon fisherman…

christianmuslin December 7, 2012 at 5:21 pm

If first prize is a stay at the Trump Hotel and Casino, then I will opt for the Wonkette suite: one night at the Bed on the Roof Inn with a single roll of Costco paper TOWELS on the bathroom wall midway between shower and toilet but reachable from neither and with a Kino ticket on the bed placed there by the turn down maid.

bikerlaureate December 7, 2012 at 6:11 pm

Second prize is two stays at the Trump Hotel and Casino…

Biel_ze_Bubba December 8, 2012 at 12:25 am

Make it a Kino ticket and a turn down maid placed on the bed, and I'm all in.

Biel_ze_Bubba December 7, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Are we allowed to be intriguing again, or is it just me?

BZ1 December 7, 2012 at 5:48 pm

In the words of a Scot, "…Trump, what a berk!"

rocksout December 7, 2012 at 6:41 pm

I'm from Scotland. Trump most definitely does not speak for me. He can go fuck his pompous self

Tundra Grifter December 7, 2012 at 7:16 pm

Isn't there also a documentary out about this golf course brouhaha? That cost the maker of it a great deal of money? Seems I read something about that recently…

Tundra Grifter December 7, 2012 at 7:20 pm

Residents fear Donald Trump will launch another eviction onslaught
October 28, 2012

HOME owners who refused to move for Donald Trump’s millionaire’s playground yesterday insisted they are ready for anything the bullying tycoon can throw at them.

Horrified TV viewers last week watched Michael Forbes, Susan Munro and David Milne endure months of hell as Trump’s team tried to force them to make way for his golf course and hotel development at Menie, in Aberdeenshire.

The documentary, You’ve Been Trumped, prompted a furious response against the New York tycoon’s bully boy tactics and condemnation of the council, police and Government for turning a blind eye to the homeowners’ plight.

Yesterday, they vowed to fight any further attempts to drive them out and bulldoze their homes.

But they remain in fear that the loud-mouthed billionaire will return with compulsory purchase orders to force them to leave.
http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/r

ttommyunger December 7, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Bloated, blotchy-faced pantload says what?

drbill0620 December 7, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Me thinks the Donald's hairs is a bit out of place…

Biel_ze_Bubba December 8, 2012 at 7:28 pm

Who do you think it really belongs to?

drbill0620 December 7, 2012 at 9:18 pm

I think his hair is fermenting and he was afraid they's want to use him to make a vat of booze…

JohnnyBrooklyn December 8, 2012 at 10:47 am

On the plus side, Donald's latest rant is just stupid. Previously his rants were both racist and stupid. So that's progress I guess.

lulzmonger December 8, 2012 at 12:41 pm

Awww, did the big bad Repo Depot take away poor widdle Man-Child's hugbox AGAIN?

PS: Dude's been bald for ages … what you see in that picture are hookworms, trying in vain to escape.

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